Disclaimer: The characters from Buffy the Vampire Slayer are owned by Joss Whedon, Mutant Enemy, and Fox studios. This story is not meant to infringe upon anyone's rights, only to entertain.


Huge, mondo, supersized thanks go to Ria for betaing this chappie for me. I know you're busy chica, so thank you!

Thank you guys for all the awesome reviews! You have no idea what they mean to me and what they do for my muse! I know updates are few and far between, but RL has been all crazy like for a while. But I promise, no matter how long they take, I'm not abandoning this baby, I will finish it. Just bear with me! luv luv luv to all of ya'll!

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CHAPTER THIRTEEN
 
Buffy woke the next morning with her mood so far above the level of good, she was sure someone had injected her with happiness inducing drugs. She'd had a good day with her friends the day before, a good slay the night before, and no- what she assumed to be- Slayer dreams while she'd slept. Had to be a Slayer dreams. Why else would I dream of twirling and swirling colors and flippin' nickels? So, no. No Slayer dreams. Only dreams filled with platinum blond heads- which left her a tad bit confused themselves.
 
The fact that she and Spike had ‘fought’ the night before without actually, well, fighting was making her head feel a little tipsy. She’d actually had fun bantering and bickering with him. She’d smiled more than she usually did when she was dealing with him. Between her crazy high school girl with a crush act and the niceties, she was a bit fuzzy in the area of her noggin. Granted, it wasn’t confusing her as much as it would have, say, months ago, but everything wasn’t see through-able in her head just yet. With the coming back from the dead, prophecy on the horizon, a constant replay of just about everything said to her in Summerland, and hers and Spike’s new… whatever it was, she was feeling a bit overwhelmed.
 
She would not let that interfere with her mood, though. Still following one of the many pieces of advice given to her by a certain demon, she was not going to analyze. 'Sides, people have dreams about other people all the time. And girls have dreams about guys all the time. And Slayers have dreams about vampires all the time. I’m just not sure that Slayers have that kind of dream about vampires. Maybe they do, who knows. What I do know is, I’m not gonna think about the specifics of my dreams. Yet. She was aware of the fact that the looming prophecy and coming events should be forefront in her mind, but Spike’s face just kept popping up. His words kept replaying in her mind. The way his eyes looked when he first saw her again. The way her skin almost hummed when it came into contact with his. Those were the things crowding her mind, not the life altering, possible world ending, ‘other stuff’.
 
Buffy shook her head to clear some of the muck and pushed back the covers on her bed, ready to begin her day. With the goal of chatting with two certain witches in mind, she did the morning rituals practiced by most of society. After she'd finished it all and donned some clothes, she made her way down the stairs ready to include Willow and Tara in on her Summerland experiences. Not to mention recent Sunnydale experiences. Or thoughts, whatever.
 
Reaching the bottom of the stairs she noticed the silence of the house. She walked into the kitchen wondering just where everyone was, when a note stuck to the refrigerator with a magnet caught her attention.


Mornin' Buffy!
Sorry you had to wake up on your second day back from the dead all by your lonesome, but Tara and I had to run to campus to make our course selections so the classes weren't full and Dawnie had a long standing 'mall date' with Janice, and you were still asleep when she left. Trust me, she’d have much rather stayed home with you, but Tara told her you probably needed rest. Oh, and Spike usually sleeps ’til late afternoon. When Dawnie was still in classes he slept ’til she got home (he’s turned all domestic big brother vamp, it’s kinda wiggy at first, but you‘ll get used to it), so he’s on a crazy schedule for a vamp, wakin’ up while its still daytime and all, but he’ll be asleep for a while still. But don't worry, we'll be back lickity split and then we can talk. Girl talk, not Slayer talk. Cool?
And apparently I babble even in ‘short’ notes!
 
We'll see you soon!
xoxoxoxo
W, T and D
 
Buffy's shoulders had slumped by the time she started reading, and when she got to the end of the note she had a full on pout. So, no share time for Buffy yet. And I actually had the nerve too. She looked at the note again and reread the big brother Spike part. She smiled when she’d read it the first time, and the second time around was no different. Spike certainly wasn’t the vampire they had all met years before. The thought of a master vampire taking care of her teenage sister probably should have made her hackles rise, but she’d seen the way he was with Dawn, the way he was with her friends, and the way he was even when he was alone while she was gone and she felt totally comfortable with him taking over the role of protector and caregiver of her sister.
 
The smile quickly faded from her face though. Well, what am I supposed to do while they’re all living their lives like I never left and came back? She glared at the note in her hand as if it were offensive just by being the vehicle for the delivery of the message letting her know she was, for the moment, without a single soul to talk to. Or soulless to talk to.
 
With a pouty huff, she sat the note on the island and walked to the refrigerator.
 
One bowl of cereal later found the Slayer sitting in her kitchen bored out of her mind. She stood up and carried her bowl and spoon to the sink, rinsed them out and put them in the dishwasher, then turned around and began to investigate every inch of the kitchen, hoping something she could do would come to her, or someone would magically appear in front of her. This was Sunnydale after all, anything was possible. But there was still no one there. She wondered if Spike was asleep and then mentally slapped herself when she realized how stupid that was. One, it was still early. And two, if he was awake, surely he'd be upstairs already.
 
She walked into the living room and sat on the couch. After turning the TV on, she absently flipped through the channels, but nothing caught her eye, so she turned it back off. She got up and walked to the basement door and stood completely still with her ear cocked, trying to see if Spike was making any noise to indicate he was awake. Hearing nothing, she left the kitchen and walked upstairs.
 
Nothing upstairs appealed to her either, so she went back down. Walked to the basement door. Listened, nothing but silence.
 
Moved to the dining room. Nothing there either. Basement door. Silence.
 
Backyard. Nada. Door. Silence.
 
She'd covered basically every inch of the house, and found nothing to do. Well, almost nothing. She'd counted the tiles in the bathroom.
 
During her last, and probably hundredth, trip to the basement door she heard the front door open. She heaved a sigh of relief, "Finally," and took off for the foyer at a run. Coming around the corner, she took Willow and Tara by surprise when she was suddenly in front of them bellowing, "You're home!"
 
Wearing matching expressions of shock, the two females put their hands to their chests and let out little mini gasps.
 
"Geez Buffy." Willow said. "You nearly gave me a heart attack."
 
Buffy looked appropriately shamefaced, "Sorry Wills. But I've been bored outta my mind. Hey! Did you know there are 488 tiles in the shower? Doesn't look like there's that many, but there are. Trust me. I counted 'em." She nodded, eyes wide and serious.
 
The two females in front of here gave her an odd look. “You counted the tiles in the bathroom?” Willow asked with her a brow arched.
 
Buffy nodded vigorously, “Mm-hm. And there are 488.” She scrunched her face a bit. “Well, that‘s more of an approximately. I may have lost my place a few times.”
 
Willow nodded. “Uh-huh.” Her girlfriend said nothing, only stood beside her with a slight grin
 
The three females stood in the foyer for a few beats and then made their way into the dining room.
 
Buffy walked behind Willow and Tara with her hands clasped behind her back bouncing with each step she took. “So, did you get the classes you wanted?” she asked.
 
“Yup,” Willow answered with a nod, and the blonde next her nodded along with. “I got Sociology, a class on designing and formatting computers and a super fun scientific theories class.” She added with a not so small amount of enthusiasm. “Plus all the other core classes. It‘s gonna be great.”
 
Buffy chuckled at Willow and her love of school, and then turned to Tara. “You?”
 
The shy blonde nodded again. “I got Art Appreciation, Music Theory, and Sociology. Plus the core classes.”
 
The Slayer then nodded herself. “Cool.”
 
Now that her two friends were finally home, Buffy found herself nervous. Alright chica. The time has come. You‘re the Slayer, not a fraidy cat. One part of her brain ordered. I don’t really feel like talking right now thank you very much. Another part answered.
 
She was studying every item on the dining room table while also studiously avoiding eye contact with her two friends. She knew she was just stalling; she just wasn’t sure why she suddenly wasn’t in sharing mode anymore. She’d been waiting, completely void of patience, the entire morning for the witches to get home so that she could talk to them. And now that they were here, she couldn’t bring herself to begin.
 
Willow and Tara noticed Buffy’s anxious movements and looked at each other inquisitively, to which they both responded with a shrug. They continued to watch the Slayer in silence, observing her inspection of every book on the table and her scrunched up, thoughtful, face.
 
Thoughtful was what she was too. Not just thoughtful. Totally thoughtful. Deep in thoughtful. She’d gotten the different parts of her brain to join forces so that she only had one stream of Buffy thoughts running through her head. But she was still having a hard time making her mouth work. Well, how the hell am I supposed to start this destined to be awkward conversation? She glanced up from the book she was flipping through absently and took notice of the look on her friends’ faces. Wait a sec here Buffy. She told herself. Isn’t the whole reason you’re talking to Willow and Tara because they’re Willow and Tara and they won’t wig like everyone else? Duh! Ugh. The inner Buffy had split again into two Buffies. She mentally sent a glare towards yet another part of her brain. The part that had a tendency to mimic Cordelia. Shut up you! I don‘t need the split personalities of my brain bein‘ all smart sassy with me! She closed the book and let out a huff of resignation. She looked at the other girls and did a half eye roll. “Can I talk to you guys?” She asked hesitantly.
 
“’Course you can Buff.” Willow answered. “’Bout anything.”
 
Buffy nodded and sighed, a tinge of relief evident. “’Kay. Good. You think maybe we can…?” She waved her hand in the direction of the living room.
 
“Sure,” Both girls answered her.
 
The three friends moved to the room indicated; the couple taking seats on the couch and the Slayer on the coffee table in front of them.
 
“What’s up?” Willow asked with wide, inviting eyes.
 
“Is everything okay?” Tara asked in a soft voice with gentility pouring out of her own eyes.
 
A bit of the tension that found itself housed in Buffy’s shoulders dissipated at their looks. She smiled, “Yes. Everything is fine.” She cleared her throat and glanced at her hands clasped in her lap. “I just… um… There’s a few things I haven’t told any of you about my time… away.”
 
Willow’s eyes widened again, but from surprise this time. Buffy had been so vehement in her telling them all that she had told them everything there was to tell about her time in Summerland. While her best friend had, at times, been known to omit things or alter her description of things, Willow never expected Buffy would have held back things concerning this. I mean, what could’ve happened that’d be such a big deal that she couldn‘t tell us?
 
Tara sat with her look unchanging. With her innate sense to ‘see’ things, feel things, and know things; she had suspected there was more to the Slayer’s story. Knowing that Buffy would soon come to them of her volition, she had not felt the need or desire to say anything to Willow or anyone else.
 
When Buffy didn’t offer any thing else to them, Willow spoke up. “Like what?”
 
“Not anything big.” Buffy was quick to assure. “Just little minor things. Hardly even noticeable. Maybe with a magnifying glass or microscope. But that’s the only way they’re noticeable.”
 
Tara sat, still patient, while Willow gave Buffy a look letting her know that she knew what Buffy was doing. Over the years, Willow had learned how to tell when Buffy was trying to downplay a situation and its importance.
 
“Well, we all know I have both of those things. But why not save me the trouble and headache from staring at tiny things and just tell me what’s up?” Willow joked.
 
Buffy chuckled. “I wasn’t really sure that it was worth mentioning. I mean, it doesn’t really have anything to do with whatever prophecy has my name on it. Or the whole me coming back thing.” She shrugged. “But then I remembered that Whistler doesn’t really mention much, or well, anything really, unless it has to do with the end of the world, me killing something or other mystical, supernatural stuff.”
 
“True,” Willow agreed. “So, what’d he mention?”
 
“Well, it’s not really something he mentioned, so much as something he said.” Of the dubious look her friend gave her she rolled her eyes and quickly added. “I know I said mention and I know you have to say something to mention it, and to mention something is to say something. But you know what I mean. He didn’t specifically mention anything, as much as he talked about certain things.”
 
“Like?” Tara asked softly.
 
“Well first, like, as soon as I got there, he started in on this whole ‘you have to get over this white and black vibe and realize there’s some gray’ thing. Then he made it a point to say in not so many words that I was extremely close minded, even for a Slayer.”
 
Willow shook her head, “I don’t usually not get things, but I don’t get that. What does any of that have to do with anything?”
 
Buffy waved her hand in the redhead’s direction. “Exactly what I said. And thought. The sense was nowhere to be found.”
 
“Maybe it does have something to do with you coming back and the prophecy?” Tara offered quietly.
 
“Like what?” Buffy asked as she and Willow looked at the other blonde.
 
“Maybe knowing there’s a gray area is really important for what you have to do? I’m sure there’s a reason he was so big on it.” Tara sent her girlfriend a look which conveyed the need for Willow to think.
 
Willow’s eyes widened for a fraction of a second when she realized what Tara was getting at. Of course. She thought back over the Scooby meeting the night before. The Guardians of The Median. Median… balance… white… black… gray. She turned back to Buffy. “Tara’s right. It has to be important for some reason.”
 
Buffy shook her head, “Well, I’m not getting the reason. Seems like he was just letting out some of that hot air he has stored up.”
 
When Willow realized Buffy wasn’t going to say anything else, again, she asked, “Is that all?”
 
“Yes. No. Yes. Maybe.” She answered quickly, and then slumped her shoulders. “No. There was other stuff.” She sat back up. “But it’s even larger with the no sense-making.”
 
“Well, give us a shot at making the sense.”
 
“He talked a lot, I mean, a lot about… smnk” Her voice trailed off to a mumble.
 
“Huh? About what?” Willow asked
 
“Smnik.” The Slayer mumbled again.
 
“What? Smoke?” Willow asked confused. “But you don’t smoke.” She eyed Buffy sharply. “Do you?”
 
Buffy made a face, “Eww, Will. No.” Then she rolled her eyes and sighed loudly, “Spike. He talked a lot about Spike.”
 
“Spike?” Willow echoed incredulous, sitting up straight. She couldn’t figure what the heck Spike had anything to do with what Whistler said to her best friend.
 
Tara sat beside Willow with the same open, serene, look on her face, waiting for Buffy to continue.
 
“Yes,” Buffy answered.
 
“Why Spike?”
 
“I don’t know!” Buffy huffed.
 
“Spike?” Willow repeated.
 
“Yes,” Buffy responded with irritation in her voice.
 
“Why Spike?”
 
“I don’t know?” She said in the same fashion. Then trying to take away from the importance of the platinum vampire’s mention she added, “He talked about Angel too.”
 
This seemed to make more sense to Willow and she moved back against the cushions. “Okay. I‘m back with the getting now.”
 
“But more about Spike.”
 
“And now I’m not.” Willow sat back up. “Why Spike?”
 
Buffy glared at her friend. “Will, I love you dearly, but if you ask me that question again, I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
 
“I’m sorry Buffy,” Willow said with sincerity. “This is just a loop thrower.”
 
“You’re telling me,” Buffy agreed.
 
“So what all did he say?”
 
“He was just all with the, ‘Yay! Go Spike’ the entire time I was there.” She shrugged. “Mom was too.” She turned to face the two on the couch quickly. “There was actually a lot of Angel hating pouring out of my mom. She was kinda mean at times.” She shook her head. “Whatever. Anyway, they were both all about making me admit that Spike maybe wasn’t as evil as we all thought. And that I should maybe give him the benefit of the doubt.”
 
Tara finally spoke up. “I’ve never thought he was all that bad.” She looked at Willow and then Buffy. “It’s in his eyes, you know?”
 
Willow agreed. “Yeah, now. I mean, after the funeral, he pretty much proved to anyone willing to see that he wasn’t such a big bad anymore.”
 
Buffy smiled softly at her friend. “You more so than the others.” She looked down at her hands again. “Even if Whistler hadn’t been cheering the ‘go Spike’ cheer, after seeing what he put himself through, when he was pulling a Buffy, I wouldn’t have been able to continue thinking he was pure evil.”
 
“I don’t think anyone could have thought of him as pure evil after that,” Tara added.
 
“Yeah,” Willow agreed. “Just look at Xander and Giles. Who knew they could be all defender-y over Spike? I know I didn’t.”
 
“Me neither,” Buffy answered. “That one was totally out of left field for me.”
 
“I don’t know. Everyone could see his torment was genuine. Why wouldn’t they defend and comfort him?” Tara asked innocently.
 
Buffy and Willow both scoffed and then Buffy answered. “You can’t even begin to imagine the many levels of hate that Xander and Giles have for Spike.” She cocked her head to the side. “Or had.” Shaking her head to clear her thoughts she added, “They’ve hated him for many other reasons than the fact that he’s a vampire. He’s tried to kill us all on way too many occasions to count.”
 
“Very true,” Willow said. “He tried to kill us way more times than Angel ever did. Flashbacks of broken bottles flash through my mind.”
 
“If that’s why they hate him so much, why don’t you?” Tara asked her girlfriend and Buffy.
 
“Oh, I hated him. But not to the same degree as Xander and Giles.” Willow smiled a little. “When he first got his chip, he came to mine and Buffy’s dorm room.” She looked at Buffy. “You remember that night right? When the Initiative was in attack everyone mode?” Without waiting for an answer she turned back to Tara. “He came in looking for Buffy, to kill her, but she wasn’t there. He tried biting me and the chip fired. Then he totally wigged. Kept talking about how he was too young for this sort of thing. That it had never happened to him before. This was right after Oz left, so I naturally thought it was me. That he couldn’t bite because he’d wanted to bite Buffy but had to settle for me. And it upset me.”
 
“Do you have any idea how crazy that sounds Will?” Buffy asked smiling. “Your feelings were hurt because you thought a vampire couldn’t kill you because he was settling for less than what he wanted?”
 
Willow rolled her eyes, “I know, pretty stupid, huh? But I thought it was me. And he tried his hardest to make me feel better.” She shook her head. “Right after he’d just tried to kill me, he sat on the bed with me and told me he’d bite me for sure, if he could. And it made me feel better. He even remembered what I was wearing the first time he’d ever seen me.” She chuckled.
 
“That just goes to show that he was never quite as bad as everyone thought,” Tara declared. “I think that, he was only as ‘evil’ as he was, because he thought he was supposed to be.” The other two just looked at her, as a result her stutter made itself known a bit. “Th-think about it. W-would a random vamp n-notice that he’d hurt a hu-human’s feelings? A-and then try to make them feel better?”
 
“Well, no. But Spike isn’t a random vamp,” Willow answered.
 
Tara shrugged. “That’s my point.” She looked at Willow pointedly. “Spike’s not a random vampire. He’s different.”
 
Willow could see where her girlfriend was going with this. She just wasn’t sure what to think of that direction. Talks of prophecies, Slayers and vampires popped into her head. Was it possible that this prophecy wasn’t about Angel? She knew Xander and Dawn would be thrilled if it weren’t. And Dawn would be almost ecstatic if it was about Spike and Buffy, but she wasn’t sure how thrilled Xander would be if it turned out to be Spike. Sure, they’re getting along now, but is that gonna last long? Xander can be Mr. Moody when he wants, and Spike is always driving him crazy. What if he takes it too far one time and Xander goes back to Angel and Spike hating. She was brought out of her thoughts when Buffy spoke.
 
“He may not be a random vampire, but I still can’t figure why Whistler thought it was important for me to not hate him so much.” That was a lie. She pretty much had a feeling about Whistler’s intentions. But she didn’t know how her friends would feel about that, so she was playing dumb with the hopes that they would be the ones to bring it up. Then she could see their reactions before she let them in on her own. She wasn’t sure they would be all too receptive of her changing feelings towards the master vampire. That, coupled with the thought that he might, in some way, be connected to her coming back was a lot for her to expect them to take in. So she kept her own feelings and thoughts on the subject mum for now.
 
Having thought about it for a few moments, Willow could see that there may be a connection between everything that had happened recently. “I don’t know Buffy. There’s gotta be a legitimate reason. He wouldn’t just mention stuff for no reason. Not when you were up in that limbo place and he’s explaining a little about this prophecy you gotta fulfill, he wouldn’t just say all that for nothing.”
 
“I guess. But if it wasn’t for nothing, what was it for?” Buffy asked looking back and forth between the girls.
 
“Guess we’ll just have to find out, huh?” Willow responded with a grin.
 
“I’m sure if we actually thought about it long enough and hard enough, we’d see what the reason or reasons were.” Tara commented knowingly. “I really don’t think Spike’s ever been completely evil. I mean, I know I didn’t know him years ago when he was trying to kill you guys all the time. But he’s never been overtly evil to me. Remember when my family came and tried to take me away. They had me convinced I was part demon for years and Spike punched me in the nose to prove them wrong.”
 
“Yeah, cuz punching someone in the nose is a sure fire way to show you aren’t evil anymore,” Buffy commented dryly.
 
“It is when he felt more pain as a result than I did.” Tara’s voice was steady and strong, a sign that she felt very strongly about what she was saying. “He hardly tapped me. Sure, it hurt, but for a vampire? It was a wimpy punch, and it was to help me, not hurt me.”
 
“And remember when we were doing the spell to invoke the essence of the First Slayer?” Willow asked Buffy. “Okay, so he’d been helping Adam try to split us up, but in the end he helped us. He fought demons right beside us, even when it was extremely possible for us to decide to turn the weapons around on him.” She sat thoughtful for a few beats. “And he was always willing to help protect your mom and Dawn when Glory was around. He got tortured to keep Dawnie safe. A random vampire wouldn’t do that.”
 
“I know,” Buffy admitted softly. “There’s actually quite a few things that lean towards him not being so evil.”
 
Her two friends sat on the couch with their eyebrows high, waiting for her to speak again.
 
Here goes. She sighed and sat up straight. “If I tell you guys something, do you promise to hold off on having me admitted to a loony bin?”
 
“Buffy…” Willow said reproachfully. “You know that won’t happen.” When the Slayer looked at her strangely she amended. “I mean, we won’t try to have you admitted no matter what you say.”
 
“You know you can tell us anything Buffy.” Tara offered in her soothing tone.
 
“Right. I know.” She gathered her thoughts for a bit and then started speaking again. “It’s just… I’ve been thinking these things that I wouldn’t normally think. About Spike.”
 
“Like what?” Willow asked, her eyes wide.
 
“Like, maybe I’ve been totally wrong.” She took a deep breath and looked up at the ceiling. “Like, he’s actually a great guy. Or vampire, whatever. Everything I saw while I was in Summerland turned everything I’ve seen in the past upside down and inside out. The whole, him going catatonic and feeling guilty. All the stuff he said. And I don’t mean just when he was stuck in his head. When he was at my grave too. I just… I dunno. It’s almost like, I… like him.” She trailed off bashfully. “I know. How wacky is that? Maybe you should rethink that whole loony bin thing.”
 
Willow sat silent, considering what Buffy had just told them.
 
When Tara realized Willow wasn’t going to say anything to reassure the small blonde, she decided she would. “It’s not wacky at all, sweetie. He loves you. A lot. And he is a great guy… um, vampire. He took care of all us while you were gone. Especially Dawn. He patrolled every night.”
 
“I know.” Buffy said quietly. “It’s just so weird. I mean, aside from the past badness with me and vampires being more than friendly, it’s Spike! Pain in my ass, thorn in my side, gnat in my ear, vampire on my turf Spike.” She slumped down and put her head in her hands. “I must be going crazy. Maybe it’s a side effect of being dead. I came back with my brain not so much intact.”
 
“I don’t know Buffy.” Willow said slowly. “He has changed a lot. He’s not the same vampire that blew into town with his psycho sire.”
 
Buffy looked up at her friend sharply and pursed her lips. “You’re not making this any easier on me Will. You’re supposed to be all ‘Spike is bad. Spike is evil’ and you’re supposed to tell me that you worry for my mental health because I might be developing warm fuzzies for my arch nemesis.”
 
Willow’s eyes widened even more at that last statement. “Warm fuzzies?”
 
The Slayer growled and her head fell back into her hands. “Am I seriously saying these things?”
 
Tara sat up and placed a gentle hand on Buffy’s shoulder. “It’s alright sweetie. You’re not insane. Your mental health is perfectly fine. It may be a bit unconventional and surprising right now, but it’s really not all that strange.”
 
“How d’ya figure?” Buffy asked in a muffled voice.
 
Tara rubbed her hand along the Slayer’s arm soothingly. “Think about everything that’s just been said. He’s changed. And he’s done a lot of good lately.”
 
“Yeah. And, plus side?” Willow offered. “We don’t have to worry about him gettin’ too jolly on us and goin’ all ‘grr’ like Angel did.”
 
“No. We don’t.” Buffy agreed raising her head again. “But that’s because he already is ‘grr’.”
 
“Do you honestly believe that?” Tara asked, her eyes peering deep into Buffy’s.
 
Buffy pouted again. “No. Not really.”
 
The two witches on the couch both gave her looks that clearly said ’See?’
 
“The only ’grr’ part about this is when you tell the guys,” Willow commented.
 
“Ugh. So not wanting to think about that right now,” Buffy complained. “There’s not even really anything to tell them anyway.”
 
Willow looked at her friend with an arched eye brow, her expression clearly saying ‘maybe you are insane’.
 
Buffy scrunched her face and furrowed her brow, “What? There’s not.”
 
“Uh-huh. And what crazy bizarre-o world is it that you live in again?” Willow asked incredulously. “’Cuz, me? I live in the not quite as bizarre-o world where Giles and Xander will wig over any friendly or warm fuzzy type feelings you have for any vampire. Especially Spike.”
 
“Even if they’re all on board the ‘Spike’s a bud’ train?” Buffy asked with a hint of hesitancy in her voice.
 
Willow nodded, “Even if they have season pass type tickets.” She gave Buffy a look that conveyed how she thought her friend should know this. “You know how they are Buffy. Ever since the badness that was Angel, whenever your feelings towards a male change, theirs do too. Especially Xander’s.”
 
Buffy huffed and slumped her shoulders. “Well, that’s ‘cuz they’re just stupid boys.”
 
Tara nodded. “Boys are stupid.” When the other two girls looked at her with half smiles, a full blown grin bloomed on her face, and soon all three were laughing.
 
When they had calmed down a bit, Willow spoke again. “Ya know Buffy, you could always hop on board our train,” She teased the Slayer.
 
Buffy shook her head, “Nah. As stupid as they are, boys still have certain parts which are appealing to me. Thanks though,” She answered wryly, causing all three to laugh again.
 
Once the laughter had died down again, the serious air returned. The red headed witch turned to her blond friend. “So, what’re you gonna do?”
 
“Ignore things ‘til they go away?” Buffy asked hopeful.
 
To which Willow responded with a reproachful look.
 
“Completely avoid Spike at all costs?”
 
Willow’s look was unwavering, and Tara had joined forces.
 
“Be a good little Slayer and talk to my Watcher?”
 
“That’s our little Slayer,” Willow said encouraging.
 
“But… unh…” Buffy pouted. “What am I gonna say? ‘Hey Giles! I know you still aren’t quite over my last not always evil boyfriend that turned into the Massacre King, but I think I’m crushing for another almost always evil reigning royal. But don’t worry, this one doesn’t have a soul to lose, he’s already soulless. So how ‘bout that weather huh?’” She shook her head slightly. “I’m sure that’s not something he’ll want to hear.”
 
“Well, not if you say it like that, he won’t. He‘ll throw a good British wiggins at first, but he‘ll deal. Just like Xander will.” Willow pursed her lips and gave Buffy a look. “And- didn’t we just have the ‘Spike’s not really so evil’ conversation?”
 
“Yeah, but it’s only us who doesn’t think he’s so evil.”
 
“Ok, didn’t we just have that other conversation where we talked about how the guys didn’t hate him so much anymore.” Willow looked at her girlfriend. “I think we did. I was sitting right here. I haven’t moved.”
 
Tara shook her head and gave a small smile. “I haven’t either.”
 
“’Kay. Just making sure.” Willow turned back to Buffy. “Was it a pod Buffy that was sitting where you’re sitting? ‘Cuz I could swear you were there too.”
 
“Okay, sheesh, you’re smarty britches witches today aren’t’cha?” Buffy’s voice held no heat, and her face was graced with a smile.
 
Willow shrugged, “We do what we can.” There was a pause and then she spoke again, “So, ‘bout that whole ‘what you’re gonna do’ thing?”
 
“Do I have to? I know you said they don’t hate him as much as they used to, but it’s that first initial wig that I’m not lookin’ forward to,” Buffy whined.
 
“Of course you have to Buffy, you know it’ll be even worse later if you don’t tell them now.” Willow advised wisely, with Tara nodding agreeably. .
 
Buffy’s voice took on a high pitched quality to accompany her whine, “But… I don’t wanna. Can‘t you do it for me?” She asked with pleading eyes.
 
“Uh-uh sister. This is all you,” Willow answered with a shake of the head.
 
Buffy huffed. “Can I just tell you how much this sucks?”
 
“It doesn’t suck,” Willow said, but when Buffy and Tara gave her dubious looks she amended, “Well, it doesn’t suck yet.”
 
“What doesn’t suck?” A new voice rang out through the living room.
 
Buffy jumped, what she assumed to be ten feet, in the air, her eyes widening. Tara and Willow jumped a bit from the surprise also, but didn’t look anywhere near as nervous as Buffy.
 
Spike walked into the room a bit more, “Well- aside from me anyway.”
 
Buffy turned sharply towards the new arrival. “Spike!” Her voice squeaked. She cleared her throat and tried speaking without sounding like a mouse. “What are you doing?”
 
He padded barefoot to the desk and took a seat in the chair. “Playin’ footie, you?”
 
The Slayer glared, sans heat. “Funny.”
 
“I thought so.” He smirked and winked at her.
 
Tara spoke up softly from her perch on the couch. “Did you sleep well, Spike?”
 
He nodded in her direction. “Yeah ducks. Jus’ fine thanks.” He gave her a small smile and then turned his eyes back to the blonde still watching him. “What about you Slayer?”
 
“Fine.” She squeaked out. She pursed her lips and scrunched up her face when she heard herself do another impersonation of Minnie. “All’s right as rain in Buffyland.”
 
“Yeah.” Spike said. He arched a brow and looked at her with curiosity brimming over. “So, you gals havin’ a gab fest then, are ya?” He pulled his eyes away from his love and looked to the other two females.
 
Willow suddenly looked nervous, just like Buffy. It was just another part of the best friend contract- another loop hole, if you will. If one’s best friend was incredibly nervous about a crush finding out they were a crush, well, then it was required that the best friend of the nervous party also be nervous. “We weren’t talking about anything.” The red head’s voice took on a squeaky quality also.
 
“Oookay.” Spike gave her strange look. He sat silent, observing the three females and their movements.
 
Tara sat with a small knowing smile on her face looking at the other three occupants of the room every once in a while. Willow sat with wide eyes flitting between Buffy and Spike. Buffy sat with her hands in her lap twitching and her eyes wide and nervous.
 
“Well.” Spike drawled out coming to his feet. “This has just been a hoot and a half. All this enlightening conversation is enough to make a bloke peckish. If you ladies’ll excuse me.” And with that he left the living room headed for the kitchen.
 
Willow and Buffy both let out large puffs of air when he left, their shoulders sagging. Tara simply chuckled to herself at the actions of the other two.
 
“Wow. That was a close one,” Willow commented.
 
“Uh, yeah, little too close for me,” Buffy added.
 
“You know,” Tara started, “he’s gonna find out sooner or later. What’s the point in being all nervous and twitchy around him? That alone will tip him off that something’s different.”
 
Buffy began shaking her head vehemently. “Uh-uh. No, no, no. He’s not gonna know anything anytime. Ever. There’s nothing to know anyway. It’s just temporary insanity from rising from the dead. That’s all.”
 
“What happened to being a good little Slayer? And telling your Watcher? Figuring out what’s the what?” Willow asked her best friend.
 
“There’s no telling to be had," Buffy answered with finality. “I’ll get over it. It’s just a fluke.”
 
“Yeah.” Willow nodded. “I know all about those flukes. And they don’t really just go away cuz you ignore ‘em. Trust me. You’re not fluking. If you were, you wouldn’t have said all the things you said earlier.”
 
Buffy gave her an unsure look. “That was a fluke too?”
 
Willow simply shook her head in the negative, not even bothering to answer verbally.
 
“Fine.” Buffy finally relented. “I’m fluke-free. You happy now?”
 
Willow smiled. “Gotta say, I am feelin’ pretty darn good right now.”
 
“So, when are you going for confession then?” Tara asked with a smile.
 
“Ugh. Confession’s right.” Buffy grumbled standing. “Forgive me father, for I am insane.”
 
Her two friends giggled at her words and she left the room.
 
When Buffy reached the top of the stairs their giggles quieted and they both adopted serious looks.
 
Willow looked at her girlfriend. “This is gonna put a whole new twisty top spin on everything isn’t it?”
 
Tara returned her gaze and shrugged. “I don’t know. Maybe not. We’ll just have to see.”
 
“What’re we gonna do if she doesn’t spill to everyone else soon? It might be kinda important, ya know, in the grand scheme of things,” Willow asked.
 
“I don’t really think it’s our place to tell Will.”
 
“Well, no. But- grand scheme and all?” The red head tried to convey the importance to her girlfriend.
 
“I get the importance factor, Will. But I think this something Buffy has to figure out and tell on her own.”
 
Willow eyed Tara. “How is it that you’re always right?”
 
“It’s a gift,” Tara answered with a smile.
 
“I don’t like knowing stuff and not being able to let others know that I know,” Willow grumbled. “This is just like when Giles was gonna leave for England last year and he told me, but told me I couldn’t say anything. I’m not good with knowing things others can’t know.”
 
“You’ll be fine Will.” Tara assured her.
 
“I’ll just be glad when Buffy plays ‘True Confessions’, and I won’t have to pretend not to know things anymore.”
 
Neither noticed the bleach blond around the corner listening in.




tbc...



Please, let me know what you think....

Also, my beta is super busy right now, so if there's anyone with beta like qualities lingering around out there, willing to beta, contact me! Please? I love my Ria, but I don't wanna add to her already heavy load, so a substitute beta may be in order for a while. Thanks! Ya'll are stellar!