Day 2


Buffy woke to the feeling of laying on a lumpy and abused cot, and a hard male body. She had a stiff neck and a sore body, but it was a good kind of sore. She wasn’t about to complain; especially when she opened her eyes to gaze at the handsome vampire sleeping soundly and peacefully beside her.

When was the last time he had slept peacefully?

She had stayed up for two hours after their last round, just studying the familiar planes and angles of Spike’s face and occasionally drawing small designs across his body with her fingertips.

Buffy had almost been sad when the purring had stopped only a half hour after it had begun. Of course, it had been hard to stifle all of her giggles when she first found out about it. Then she had just enjoyed listening to it while she watched him sleep. It had been a substitute for a heart beat in keeping the silence away.

If there was one word to describe how Buffy woke up, it would be satisfied. The satisfaction and contentment she felt at that moment was enough to push the reality of their shrinking time together at bay. For now she could just enjoy. And enjoy she did.

Buffy traced her fingertips through Spike’s now wild curls, then down across his face. His lips were slightly parted, and Buffy’s eyes lingered on the bottom one and its delicious curve. She had already decided that no man should have lips like that. But that didn’t mean she wasn’t going to enjoy those full lips to the fullest. She moved slightly closer and kissed him softly, making sure to be careful not to wake him. She nibbled on that bottom lip.

Mmmmm, lips of Spike.

She snuggled close and rested her head against his shoulder again.

Mmmm, arms of Spike.

She lifted the blanket that hid their nude bodies; bodies had been wonderfully abused by their almost constant love making. She peered down.

Ooooo, even more interesting parts of Spike.

…Even more interesting parts that were standing at full attention from even the softest of her touches. Buffy smiled as she realized her lover was awake. She knew for sure when she felt him nuzzle her brow, then felt his lips at her ear. He still hadn’t opened his eyes, but when Buffy studied his face, she saw the small smile that he barely dared to show.

She kissed him on the forehead, trying to reassure him. Buffy knew why he had most likely been pretending to sleep. Spike didn’t know what he would wake up to. He had no way of knowing if she would turn cold again and the morning after usually brought painful consequences for him.

Shifting and tossing the blanket aside, Buffy moved to rise, but met resistance from Spike’s arm. He had tightened his grip around her, keeping her pinned to his side.

“Spike…” Buffy half whined, trying to touch her feet to the concrete floor and get some leverage to struggle. “I need to get up.”

“No you don’t.” Spike nuzzled her neck, then inhaled the scent of her hair. “The world’s not in dire peril anymore, so there is no reason you need to get up today.”

Buffy smacked at his chest, his nuzzling tickling her. “It’s called food. And don’t forget showering. Don’t tell me you of the creepy good sense of smell can’t tell I haven’t showered. And how do I LOOK?”

Spike opened one blue eye to regard her. “Thoroughly shagged.”

Giving him another smack and shove, Buffy tried to get away again, but had almost fallen backwards when Spike tried to wrap the blanket back around her hips and yank her back down again. She managed to grab hold of the blanket and yank it off of him instead.

“Hey!” Spike protested, left nude.

“Serves you right.” Buffy grinned at him as she wrapped the blanket around herself like a robe and made her way up the stairs, and out of the basement.

The sunshine that escaped through the blinds in the kitchen hurt Buffy’s eyes after she had spent so much time in the dark basement. She knew it would hurt Spike far worse, so she quickly closed them. She made her way through the kitchen, opening cabinets to find something to snack on. Seeing almost nothing, she frowned. She moved to the fridge next. She opened it, and again saw almost nothing. There was also no blood.

“Not exactly an ‘all expenses paid’ vacation.” She spared a glance to the rest of the kitchen. It was exactly the way she remembered it, except there was no damage or mess that showed any signs of the presence of the potentials that had swamped her home. “But, hey, there seems to be a cleaning service.”

She settled on a stick of celery. It was the only one of two left in the bottom drawer, but it was something.

“How you can be as strong as you are when you eat like a rabbit, I’ll never know.”

Buffy smiled, wondering if the vampire behind her was covered at all. Mmmm, naked Spike in the kitchen. “Didn’t you know? I’m not a slayer after all. I’m an energizer bunny.”

She turned her head to look at Spike, who had stepped away from the basement door and was now approaching her. She was slightly disappointed to find he was not naked, but still presented a tasty sight. He was barefoot and shirtless, having only put on his jeans before coming upstairs.

“An energizer bunny, hmm?” He stepped behind her and rested his hands on her hips, pulling her body back against his. “You just keep coming, and coming…”

Buffy rolled her eyes. “It’s ‘going and go’-oh…ohhhhh…” Buffy blushed when she realized his meaning. One of his hands had moved from her hip to slide between her legs, rubbing against her through the blanket.

Ready to start purring herself, Buffy jabbed him lightly in the ribs with her elbow. “Be good.” It was supposed to be a warning, but it came out as a moan. She rested her head back against his chest and let his hands wander where they wanted.

“I am good,” he whispered into her ear, before kissing her neck. “How long do we have?”

Her eyes snapped open. “Hah?”

Spike continued his soft, tender kisses. “How long until the Whelp, the Witch, the Watcher and all the gaggle of girls get back? Or are we going to join them in L.A.?”

“Oh, a week,” Buffy answered quickly but quietly. “We have a week.”

“A week?” Spike raised a brow. Buffy looked up at him, and for a moment she could have sworn it was the old Spike she was looking at; the devilish grin and smug look made her unsure if she wanted to just slap him out of habit or kiss him in a great, big, ‘welcome back, now I’m going to jump your bones’ sort of way.

“Now what…” Spike continued “Now what could possibly be done with a week of free time with no one else around?”

“I am NOT spending the entire week on my back.” Buffy said with a warning tone.

Spike immediately seemed to remember himself. His hand moved out from between her legs and back to the more neutral territory of her hip. “Of course you wouldn’t, I wasn’t…uh, I wasn’t saying…exactly…”

“I want to be on top sometimes.”

He stared at her for a moment, obviously trying to judge if she was serious or if he should expect a fist in the nose. Finally, he laughed. “I’ll gladly spend as much time on my back as you like, Summers.” He then looked around the kitchen, then back to her, then did a double-take back to the kitchen. “Hey, when did you have the time to clean?”

*********************************************************************

An hour later found the two making out on the couch like teenagers. Spike sat upright while Buffy straddled his hips and sat in his lap. She barely had time to breathe between their intense kisses.

It was hard to break their embrace. Buffy had to concentrate hard to remember anything existed beyond Spike’s lips, and his hands wandering in delicious places. She forced herself back to reality once she felt one of his hands slip into the sheet that covered her.

“Hey!” Buffy slapped at it playfully. “I need to shower some time today.” She stood up and headed for the stairs, leaving Spike very obviously aching for her.

“Bugger. You know, it can be considered downright cruel to leave a man in this position.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be cruel…” Buffy grinned impishly before heading up the stairs. “I could always make up for it by inviting you along to join me…”

It didn’t take long to hear him on the stairs, following her up. Buffy grinned as she headed for the hall bathroom. She opened the door, flipped on the light…and was suddenly confronted by a memory she did not want to face. She could see disaster approaching. Spike wouldn’t want to face it either. This was the same room where he had tried to…

She decided to move to the bathroom in the master bedroom instead. There were no bad memories there. But before she could back out of the room and prevent Spike from entering, she felt him behind her. The air grew tense immediately. All playfulness was gone as both of them were struck by the feelings of that night that neither had wanted to remember.

Turning, Buffy saw the pained look on his face. He took a step back, but Buffy reached out to take him by the hand. “Spike…”

“You know, I think you’re right. I should let you shower in peace.” He wouldn’t meet her gaze. “I’m a bit peckish, think I’ll head to the butcher shop and see if I can get some blood.”

“In broad daylight?”

He shrugged. “Plenty of blankets around here, and the sewers aren’t – “

“Spike,” Buffy spoke a bit more forcefully.

Spike ceased his ramblings, but still wouldn’t look her in the eye. His gaze was fixed on a point on the floor…the spot where he had held her down and tried to force her robe off.

Buffy looked down at her hands, which clutched the blanket closed just as she had her robe. She was glad there was no longer an indent in the wall where she had thrown him away from her. Both of them had been in that bathroom many times since that night…but never together. Buffy looked up at him again, but Spike still wouldn’t meet her gaze. There was pain and shame etched all over his expressive face, and his every muscle was tensed. She could tell he was ready to flee from the room.

There was no way she was going to allow that to happen. “Come in, Spike. And close the door.”

He looked up at her briefly, then shook his head before he took a step back. “This isn’t a good idea…”

“Yes, it is.” She took hold of his hand again and pulled his unwilling form into the room before closing the door. “It just isn’t easy.”

“Bloody hell…” Spike paced to the other side of the room, as if afraid being near her in that room would make him violent again. “Not now, please not now…”

“If not now, then when?” Buffy asked. “We have to put this behind us some time.”

“I shouldn’t be in here, with you…”

Buffy stepped closer to him, then reached out hesitantly and stroked the hollow of his cheek. “I want you here with me.”

To Buffy’s dismay, she found a bit of fear creeping in on her. She was nervous being this close to him suddenly. She didn’t want that. She didn’t want to take another step back or waste another day. She pulled him closer to her, trying not to jump as his hand rested on her shoulder, then moved down her arm. She still remembered the rage and desperation on his face that day…she still remembered how brutal his touch had been.

Spike could feel how tense she was. She wondered if he knew about the slight fear right under the surface. But she didn’t want him to know her fear. She had made the wish so he could know her love. And yet some part of her still wouldn’t let her stop hurting…

“Tell me why,” Buffy suddenly said. “Tell me what you were thinking…”

“There was no thinking involved, Buffy. There was just…”

She forced herself to step closer, so they were only inches apart. “Just what?”

He closed his eyes so he wouldn’t have to look at her. “There was…anger…and pain…and hope that I had no right…” He breathed in harshly, gritting his teeth for a moment. “There was a red haze…there was nothing but a demon that had held itself back for far too long. And I just couldn’t…” He swallowed hard, then finally opened his eyes. “I didn’t even know what I was doing…” His blue eyes met hers, and Buffy could see the shine of tears that he refused to let fall. “And then the haze was gone, and I saw you on the floor…”

Buffy’s met his gaze, refusing to allow him any escape. “I trusted you…”

Spike closed his eyes, a tear slowly falling down his cheek. Buffy wiped it away gently.

“I think that’s why it hurt so much…” Buffy continued. “I didn’t even know I had trusted you until then.”

“Until I betrayed that trust?”

Buffy brushed the back of her fingers against his cheek, then down across his jaw. “I don’t know if I was wrong to trust you then…but I know I’m not wrong to trust you now.”

His eyes opened again, his surprise obvious.

She slowly released her death grip on the blanket that was wrapped around her. She pushed it from her shoulders, then let it fall, revealing her naked body to him. Spike never once took his eyes off of her, but didn’t seem capable of speech. Buffy took hold of his hand again, then gently placed it at her side.

“I do trust you, Spike. You’ve earned my trust…now show me you won’t hurt me.”

*********************************************************************

The warm water helped to sooth the tension, but the soft touches soothed the pain. It felt as if they were washing away their hurt, their harsh words and blows.

“I do think that’s what hurt the most, you know.” Buffy spoke just loud enough to be heard over the spray of the water. She closed her eyes as Spike’s hands gently glided over her body with the cloth. “I didn’t even realize how much I trusted you. I wondered what it had taken, what it was I did that pushed you that far…”

Spike’s grip tightened on her shoulder. “Don’t.”

She leaned back against him. “Don’t what?”

“Don’t ever think you were responsible for what I did.” He traced his fingers through her wet hair, then pushed it aside and kissed her neck tenderly. “Never.”

Buffy smiled and took the cloth from his hand. She turned to face him, then gently began to wash him the way he had washed her, her touches just as slow and soothing. “You know what’s funny? Well, not really funny, but…I think it hurt worse when you left. I thought you had just run away…” she looked up at him with a tender expression. “But I kind of know better, now.”

“I couldn’t stand what I had done to you…” Spike admitted, watching her hand as it traveled over his body. “It took hurting what I love most to see myself for what I really was. I had to change it. I had to make myself better, make sure I would never hurt you again.”

“And you did…” Buffy traced a fingertip across his lips, watching as he closed his eyes. “You did amazing things to make it right.”

Spike kept his eyes closed, but leaned in to her touch. Buffy could still hear the sorrow in his voice. “I can never make it right.”

Buffy couldn’t help but remember that night in the church, the night she had found out about his soul. She remembered the sadness and hope in his voice: ‘So everything’s ok, right? Can we rest now?…’

She pressed her body to his, then placed her hand on the back of his neck and pulled him gently closer, so that their faces were only inches apart. “I forgive you, Spike.”

His entire body tensed in disbelief. He looked down at her, his head tilted, studying her expression hopefully. She knew that if he breathed he would be holding his breath. His heart was on the line again, on his sleeve (if he had been clothed) and she was now certain that what she said was exactly what he needed.

“I forgive you.” She repeated, right before her lips met his. She kissed him softly, tenderly, while she felt his body relax against hers and his arms slip around her. He began to return the kiss, and Buffy let the cloth fall to the floor at their feet.