Author's Notes:
Jenasea is the bestest beta ever. Cookies and good vibrations are being sent her way!

Also, this is the beginning of the end. There will be three more chapters including epilogue, so I will be posting daily until the end, since they are supposed to be fluid. So keep an eye out and don't forget to review! Hahahah!




_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"Buffy. There are some things that you must discover for yourself and some things that you keep private from everyone. This was one of those things, for me."

"But my mother, she's alone now."

"I know."

"You broke her heart! You left her!"

"Your mother and I talked about this and we both understand one another."

"I trusted you! How could you... you betray her!"

"Buffy, I did not betray your mother. She does not think that I betrayed her. So then why do you believe I betrayed someone?"

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Buffy shook her head to release some of the memories in her mind. She wondered why she kept thinking of that particular moment in her life. The moment when it felt as if Giles had betrayed her when she discovered he had fallen in love with her mother. The young Buffy had been so angry at him, for days. And then the anger faded as her life resumed into a new pattern.

But for some reason, now she felt the rawness of betrayal once more. Before, it was the fact that her opinions did not count in the relationship between Giles and Joyce. Now it was the same, her opinions did not matter in her abomination with Spike. Her mentor, her father figure hadn't even looked at her, only created an excuse and sent her away. Maybe he was protecting her, but that's not what she wanted. Buffy wanted to be accepted for who she is. The truth. No matter how horrifying it was.

Buffy watched as the vampire slowly closed his eyes and his head slowly tilted to rest upon his knee. Finally, Spike was asleep and the Slayer breathed a sigh of relief, though not too loudly. It had been quiet for what seemed like hours, the air heavy with uncomfortable awkward silence. Buffy slowly leaned forward and away from the sleeping vampire to retrieve the book she was leaning on.

She slowly opened the cover page to hear the crinkling of the spine. It was brand new and in mint condition. Score one for the home team! Buffy smiled.

Spike woke up.

"What you looking at, Slayer?" He asked in a low voice. Buffy jumped slightly at his voice then coughed to cover up her obvious surprise. Spike raised an eyebrow.

"Ahem. Oh Nothing."

"What?"

"What?" Buffy asked, "Wait... what?" Spike rolled his eyes.
"What the bloody hell are you reading?" He asked impatiently. Buffy winced.

"Oh nothing...well." She sighed and flipped through the book until she got to the index. "This is the entire book. So the missing chapter should be here."

Spike waited.

"I was bored." She said moodily.

"Oh." Spike leaned towards her slightly, "So what does this book reveal?"

Buffy flipped to the unfamiliar pages and they both stared at the sketch of the demon before them. Both contorted their faces in confusion. The demon was in history books everywhere, on the news once a week, and on the cereal box of Chaotic Crunchies. It was D'Hoffryn.

"Wait, can this be right? It's about..." She looked at the cover of the book confirming that it was the same book, "Is this right?"

"What does it say?"

Buffy paused and tried to scoot further away from him. Spike had gotten so close to her that she could smell his bodily scent. Frustration ran through her body. How did things ever get this bad? She looked back down at the book focusing all her efforts on solving this mystery.

"So he's a Vengeance Demon." Buffy said in a flat tone, "He elevates humans to a demonic power when he sees they have potential and then these demons grant wishes to humans, men and women, who they deem have been wronged. That's when he gives them an amulet, which can summon him whenever they want. However, the wisher can also be used as a conduit to D'Hoffryn. He can resume the world to its natural order through any demonic sacrifice but he has to kill another vengeance demon to bring specific humans back to life. He rules over Arashmahaar, another demonic world. And then here's the spell on how to summon him."

Buffy shook her head angrily, "I don't understand. What has this got to do with Drusilla?"

Spike roughly took the book from Buffy's lap and began to rifle through the pages. With every page he turned, he got more frustrated until he pushed the book from his lap so that it landed in a pile of Styrofoam.

"Damn it! Another dead end!" He snorted, "This is idiotic. We have no leads. We are going in blindly. Fuck Angelus, fuck everybody."

"Drusilla was murdered, meaning that she could have fulfilled a sacrifice to bring order back. But we have no amulet, this book is hidden and out of print, meaning that Angelus couldn't have gotten his hands on it or much less known about the spell." Buffy shook her head, "So Drusilla was murdered because she knew too much."

"Load of good this book turned out to be." Spike said in a mean voice, "I mean, your theory that this book was going to solve everything. Fat lot of good."

"Hey, this book is very valuable!" Buffy snapped, "If anything, we can use it for ransom. You haven't turned out any brilliant schemes yet, so don't rain on my frickin' parade."

"Sorry." He mumbled.

Buffy sighed.

"So. Angel."

"Yeah."



************


Everything was dark once they got to Sunnydale. The streets were lined with lights and it seemed as if it had just rained. They were the only ones to get off, though a couple got on. The ticket vender had people though. Buffy supposed no one wanted to go west.

"Where is the post office?" Spike said softly, bending behind a pole so no one would notice him.

"Near by. It's two blocks away." Buffy whispered, positioning her face for maximum shadows. No one saw her eyes cloud for a moment as a thought crossed her mind.

"Did you know that my mom and sister came to the show?"

"No." Spike said in a mumble, distracted by the people getting off the train.

"Yeah. I haven't seen them in years and then I act like a freak."

"Come on. Stop feeling sorry for yourself." He pulled on her arm. "It's bad for your complexion."



The post office was four blocks away. The building was completely unimpressive, with rectangular windows and a ramp that lead up its side. Maybe a few flowers in the front would have made it nicer, but the two weren't there to Martha Stewart with Angel, they just wanted to talk about why they were freaks of nature. That's all.

A single light was on inside. But the front doors were locked. Buffy and Spike went around the back way to see if there was one that was unlocked and sure enough, the last door they tried was open. They were in the mail room when they suddenly heard a noise.

"Freeze, put your hands up!" The two were paralyzed. "Turn around so I can see you."

Buffy and Spike slowly swiveled until they saw a human man standing before them. Dark hair, tall, hanging fore brow, and muscular.

"Thank GOD it's you!" The man said, "God, I thought I had to shoot somebody!" He laughed and walked over to the two. Buffy looked at his gun strangely.

"I didn't think that postmen carried—"

"They don't. Well, this one does but does that mean I'm not a postman? Aheh, I don't think so!" He laughed and unexpectedly gave Buffy a gigantic hug. The gun was dangling behind her ear and she felt eerily skiddish about it. Maybe it was from getting shot, not six hours earlier... She shrugged her shoulder and felt the soreness.

"It's so good to see you've found your way! I've been waiting forever. Not that I mind. But I am bound to this place. Try getting pizza delivered when you have the midnight munchies." He looked at Spike, "William, you asshole. I'm glad to see you've gotten here in one piece. I was worried that you got yourself staked. You always did have a problem with the communicating thing."

The two looked at his as if they had walked into another dimension. This man was eerily familiar. His face resembled that of Angelus, but his hair, clothing, and smiling face distinctly separated him from that of the vampire. He was wearing his uniform; the collared shirt, tie, and black slacks rather than Angelus' solid wardrobe of leather. On the table was where he apparently had dinner, Red Bull, pizza, and a tub of Ben and Jerry's icecream. The TV monitor was on and so was I Love Lucy. Buffy looked closer and saw the red pizza stains on his shirt.

Was this Angel?

"Um. I'm sorry," Spike said, carefully. "I think you've got us confused with someone else. I'm not William. I'm Spike and this is Buffy. We are here to see Angel."

"Yeah, that's me." He said, putting down his gun and grabbing his drink. "Don't you... OH that's right. You don't remember anything. Well, ok, so you both need to go to the conference room, see that door? It's—oh hell. I'll just show you where it is. Come with me."

"Um... just a second. I have to go to the bathroom." Buffy said slowly. She pointedly looked at Spike who wasn't getting her references. He was staring at Angel with a slightly open jaw.

Buffy kicked him. Hard.

"OUCH!"

"And Spike... errr... what did you call him?"

"William."

"Yeah. Um... Spike needs to come with me." Buffy said, and dragged the vampire to the unisex bathroom. She opened the door, pushed him in, turned, smiled and waved at Angel, then ran in after the platinum blond.

"WHAT THE—"

"You were totally going to bite him!" Spike looked affronted, then snorted.

"Wasn't going to kill him! I just wanted to see if he was related to Angelus."

"Oh." Buffy said slowly.

"Why, jealous pet?" Buffy's face contorted in anger. Spike didn't have any time to protect himself as she punched him in the nose with lightening speed.

"Don't call me pet and don't be a pig." After the vampire had stopped swearing and resignedly sat down on the tile floor, Buffy asked, "What are we going to do?"

"Dunno. Seems to want to take us somewhere. Which I am not keen on doing."

"I know what you mean."

They were both staring at the door. Spike then shook his head, preparing himself for recklessness.

"I say we do it. Fuck it, we're not going to find anything if we are just sitting on the bloody floor."

"You are sitting on the floor. But I agree, And hey, we have the book. We can ransom it."

"And we are stronger than he is. He's only a human.

"How do you know?"

"I know because he smells human."

"Really."

"Yup."

"What do I smell like?" Buffy tilted her head.

"Like you." Spike said softly.

They didn't talk for a moment.

"Let's do this."

***

They left the bathroom to find Angel finishing off his pizza.

"So I take it you decided to come with me." He leaned towards Spike, "If you wanted some space you could have just asked." He whispered.

"Yeah, well, it's your place." Spike shrugged.

"You've gotten very considerate since you've fallen in love with Buffy." He said, considering Spike's speechless face. "Or do you not have your soul anymore?"

"I... what? I do NOT love her." He sputtered. "I'm evil and soulless! Take it back!" Angel shrugged his shoulders.

"Sure, play the denial card."

"Where are you coming from?" Spike demanded, "We fucked. Sure. But I do NOT love her. She's a great lay, and God, she tasted like heaven, but love? Hell no."

"Let's go!" Buffy said, standing in front of a door that that had a big sign, "DO NOT ENTER!" nailed to it. She was far enough away that she didn't hear their conversation, but when Spike came closer, she saw his uncomfortable face.

"What is wrong with you?" She asked.

"Angel... he said that I was in love with you."

"You aren't." Buffy said with absolute conviction. "And if you are, then it's your problem because I don't love you."

"NO! I'm not." Spike said truthfully, "I only... remember the dream?"

"That doesn't matter, anymore. We are here to fix that." She looked at him closely, "What else is it?"

"Never mind. It's not important." He responded, taking a side glance at Angel, who was searching his pocket for something. The human stopped when he found his sunglasses, and put them on.

"So, do either of you have sunglasses? No? That's ok. Alright, just be careful because it's bright. Ok kids, have fun!" Spike and Buffy stared at him.

"Wait, you aren't going in?"

For the first time Angel looked fearful.

"I really can't go in."

"Why? What's in there?" Buffy asked suspiciously.

"Two people who hate one another very much." He looked slightly skittish, leaned in towards Buffy, and whispered, "They really don't like me."

"Why?"

"Because apparently, I am an annoying shadow of what I once was." He shrugged without shame, "That and she doesn't like me drinking more than one Red Bull a day. Apparently, I have a caffeine addiction and am hypersensitive to sugar. So, it's just the two of you. Be careful where you step!"

And he was right.

Blinding white light shined and the two walked forward into the unknown.


* * *

"I was going to commit suicide if you didn't show up soon!" They heard a voice cry, "Lilah has been driving me CRAZY!"

"Two happy ideas in one day; Cordelia Chase killing her little angelic self and me, getting out of this hell hole."