Just how her heart was still able to beat within her chest, Buffy didn’t know. How could she still be able to breathe when Joni’s face was red and puffy from crying?

It was too fast…She’s so little…Stupid Buffy…

Spike was looking at her, his eyes wide with pain and perhaps a horror, as if she’d just driven a stake straight to his heart. He looked so betrayed. His eyes were begging her to help him stop her tears.

But, she didn’t know how. And, the longer Joni cried, her face buried against Spike’s neck, the more Buffy could feel the pain in her heart. It felt as if Joni had reached inside her and pulled out her heart and held it in her hand. It had stopped and the only thing that could start it up again, the only way she would be able to breathe again was if Joni stopped crying.

How do I make her stop crying? How did my world become so small? Spike’s eyes shone as if Joni’s heart were his. And he would gladly give her his if only she would dry her tears. He was cradling her on his lap as he sat on the tiny chair in the kitchenette, murmuring to her, soothing her in the only way he knew how, with his closeness if not his warmth.

As he held her, his hand holding her gently to the crook of his neck, Spike sought the only comfort he could. He sought her eyes, and silently begged her for help.

…Mom would know…Mom always knew. She knew just what to say. How to…

It was then that it hit her, like a bolt of lightening.

Oh…* I’m* the Mommy… “Sweetheart,” she whispered as she rushed to kneel at Spike’s feet, speaking both to father and daughter, her gaze shining up at his, “I’ll fix it…” she gave her oath to them both, “I’ll fix it. I know I will.”

Joni’s sobbing hitched and her body heaved with the breath her sorrow had denied her, and Buffy felt her heart start again. Eyes that were truly innocent reached out to her and begged her to make it better. Begged her to make this strange world safe and warm.

Joni asked for her Mother’s help, and even before her little voice could say the words, “Mommy, you promise?” Buffy already had.

“Yes,” she pledged softly, coming up on her knees and began patting her back in soothing circles, she pressed her ear to her back and took comfort in her heartbeat. She closed her eyes and got lost in the tiny bliss of that sound; now she thought she understood what the small signs of life must be like for Spike, and she was in awe of his strength once more, “I promise,” she whispered.
****************************************************************

Oscar watched as Liam slept on, though fitfully, and he shook his head. He could taste the salt of his perspiration and tears. The perspiration he expected. After all, this was Los Angeles in December. He expected the tears to break through. Tears of fear, and even of anger. Humans did that- it was one sign that the body was nearing extremis, but these tears tasted different. They were bitter, almost sour on his tongue.

These were tears of a different kind.

These were tears of regret. And that astonished Oscar. It fascinated him, and infuriated him, “The world is your oyster, Liam,” he mused, quietly watching him slowly awaken, the fog of one nightmare giving way to another. He shook his head, as he helped Liam sit up, and handed him a bottle of spring water, “Drink that,” Oscar ordered, “I wouldn’t want you dying on me, now would I?”

Liam’s hands shook as he warily took the water, eying his captor with lethal intent. Oscar chuckled at Liam’s tenacity, or was it stupidity, “Oh, come on,” he said easily, “Do you think I’m that stupid?” he smirked as he shook his head, “That’s plain old, everyday spring water. Not a thing holy about it,” he winked, “You can’t melt me with that, much as I know you’d love to,” he shrugged a shoulder apathetically, “Sorry. I watch vampire movies too, you know. Some of them are actually quite good,” he admitted cheerily, but then winced, as if in pain, “Some though,” his breath shuddered, “I’d rather drink rats’ blood than sit through,” he sat an his haunches, and his amber gaze flickered once again in his eyes, “Drink up, Liam, and when you’re through…perhaps you could tell me, what it is that you have to regret, now…”

The question was met with a cold silence, a silence that was numbing, even for Oscar, despite the heat.

“Not going to answer?” Oscar shrugged, “I don’t blame you really, not when there’s an entire dimension populated by the mistakes you’ve made. It’s no wonder Spike is speechless. If he saw you right now, he’d kill you and I can’t let that happen…” there was a happy, murderous glint in his eyes, “At least not yet. So, let’s narrow it to regrets from this plane, shall we? Let’s see,” he ticked them off on his fingers, “There’s Drusilla, Darla, Buffy, Cordy, Nina and Fred, and don’t forget little Diana,” Oscar winked at the man, in mocking admiration, “Quite the womanizer, aren’t you?” he continued, “But then there’s Connor, Wesley, Lawson, and Spike. There’re almost too many to count, even here. I really should stop and let you eat in peace,” he stood up and turned to leave, but then paused and turned back, shaking his head, surprised at his own thoughtlessness, Oscar touched his forehead as if to recapture the name that had escaped, by design, from his memory, “Silly me,” he laughed, “How could I forget little Jonina?” he shook his head again in sympathy, “Poor thing. She’s so small. Can’t do it all on her own. You can help,” he nodded encouragingly, “But you won’t do that,” his tone was mocking and condescending, “Because then you might have to give up being human. And we wouldn’t want you to lose, would we…?”
******************************************************

When Joni had finally fallen into an exhausted sleep, and Spike felt it was safe to do so, Buffy watched as Spike’s façade began to fall. She saw, in his eyes, that he was beginning to understand what had happened to him.

As he closed the door to Joni’s room, sure that she was secure, he reached for her. She held him up as he crumbled.

She held tightly to him, as he did her, not caring that he had forgotten his own strength, or that there might be bruises later, from his grasp as he sobbed and shuddered. She had done much worse than bruise his flesh. This was the least she could do to repay him for a kindness she knew she didn’t deserve.

“Spike, I meant what I said,” she cooed gently into his ear, “I promise, I’ll find a way to fix this.”

I just don’t now how…Please… she privately pleaded with whoever, or whatever was watching over them, if there was anyone at all. Please, tell me how…

She didn’t know if anyone had heard her; or if she should even believe at all, but she tried her best to comfort him.

It was small. The change was almost insignificant, really. But, she had been heard. And, it didn’t matter if she believed or not, because love didn’t need to be believed. And somewhere, something very small, believed in her.

It believed in her so much that it broke through the darkness that had surrounded it, and became something no army on earth could stop.

And that had never happened before. And, in all of history, it never would again.

I thought you'd never ask, Love.