The Dance

Chp.4

The Truce Unfolds

Disclaimer: The song is Diary of a Madman/Lovesong by A Perfect Circle, I do not own it.

Summary: Buffy reads the last entry in her Junior year diary. The song is more of how she felt as she wrote the entry.

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Hopeless situation
Endless price I'll have to pay

Diary of a madman
Walk the line again today
Entries of confusion
Dear Diary, I'm here to stay

Sanity now and beyond me
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
There's no choice

Whenever I'm alone with you

You make me feel like I'm hopeless

Voices in the darkness
Scream away my mental health
Can I ask a question
To help me save me from myself

Sanity now and beyond me
I will always love you
However long I stay
I will always love you
Whatever words I say
I will always love you
There's no choice

I will always love you

Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again
Whenever I'm alone with you
You make me feel like I am whole again

I will always love you
There's no choice

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Diary,

I don't think I've ever had a worse day in my life. Even when The Master killed me, that day wasn't even close to what today has been like.

My mom finally found out about my little demon fighting secret, and proceeded to throw me out of the house. The words still echo in my mind, If you walk out that door, don't even think of coming back. So I didn't and that's why I'm on a bus. That was one of the first uber-bads. But by far not the worst.

The police were looking for me because they'd found my friends in the library. Xander had been laying under a bookcase, his arm broken. Willow was in a coma, Giles was kidnapped by Drusilla, and Kendra was killed by the psycho bitch.

So while I was trying to stay incognito the police found me walking across the park, and stopped me. From out of nowhere Spike pops up and knocks the officers out. Seems he likes the world. Something about Dog racing, and Happy Meals with legs. Which was something I should've staked him for, but I seriously needed the help, even if it was from my mortal enemy. I agreed to his ignorant terms, and we made a truce, which in and of itself is totally and completely strange. The wierdness factor was completely out the window, 'cause seriously a vampire, especially Spike wanting to save the world.

Not two months ago he gave his ho of a girlfriend pieces and parts of a demon that could've potentially destroyed the world when the puzzle pieces were placed back together, for a birthday present. Now he wanted to save the very same world that he'd tried to destroy. I think he has some kind of disorder, like maybe A.D.H.D, or something.

Anyway he'd searched for me, and found me. Then wanted to kill the cops when we were ready to leave. Needless to say that didn't happen.

All of this happened before my mom found out.

We headed to my house, seeing as that was the safest place for us at the time. Mom pulled into the driveway, as we were stepping into the yard. She'd been out looking for me. The police had been to the house looking for me, and she'd been worried.

She asked where I'd been, and I came up with some lame excuse about being in a rock band with Spike. Well he does sort of look like some punk rocker type dude. I don't think that she bought it for even a second, but she did go along with it, until Spike and me started talking about a plan. That's when I had to tell her about being the Slayer, and when she went totally crazy with the throwing of me out of the house.

I left the house, and went straight to the mansion where Angelus had holed up, after going to the school to get the sword that Kendra had brought with her.

Anyway, I ran into Xander on the way there, and enlisted him to go in and get Giles out of the mansion.

As soon as we were in me and Angelus started to fight, Spike was sitting in the wheelchair I'd put him in. I knew he had my back.

Drusilla come out of nowhere, and Spike fought with her, eventually knocking her loony ass out.

That left me and Angelus, we'd made it out into the garden. At least that's what it looked like, but why a vampire would want a garden is beyond me.

I ended up on the ground, my sword knocked from my fingers, and Angelus's pointing at my head. He was saying something about, my not having friends, and whatever. I got distracted by a movement in front of the door, and glanced in that direction just in time to see Spike with his precious Drusilla thrown over his shoulder. He hesitated for a second, but then just as quickly as he'd paused he'd been gone.

The no good vampire. Said he'd help me, and just as I really do need him he leaves.

When I brought my attention back to Angelus he'd asked, What do you have left? I seriously thought that I'd be dead in a few seconds, but for some reason I got this surge of energy, power, something, but I looked him in the eye and answered, Me!

And the fight began anew.


Acathla had been opening the whole time we fought. Just as I was about to make the killing blow there was a flash in Angelus's eyes, and like that Angel had returned to me.

He'd been confused, didn't remember anything that had happened, but that stupid statue was opening and was almost completely finished. I knew what had to be done. I just didn't want to do it.

Angel started to talk to me, and I told him to close his eyes, I kissed him, and told him I loved him. Then I shoved my sword through his stomach.

It had been Angel, and I'd sent him to hell. I'd sacrificed him for the world, and now I'm done. I won't make that same decision again, because no one will be able to find me.

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Buffy hadn't shed one tear while reading the passage. But she could still see where her tears had fallen on the page as she'd written it. The yellowed tears stains had made the shaky handwriting blurry, but still readable.

She'd been on the bus to L.A. the road to the city had been bumpy, but that wasn't the reason for the chicken scratch that she'd considered handwriting to be all wavy, and scribbly. Her hands and nerves had been shot. She'd just known that this would be the last time that she'd write in the Slayer diaries, so she'd had to write the happenings of that day down.

The one image that she couldn't get out of her mind after reading it was that of Spike standing so relaxed in fromt of her, and telling her why he wanted to help save the world. She couldn't help the tiny giggle as the memory brought up the lameness of the whole speech. God, he must've been reaching for reasons. The only part that she could actually believe at the time was the part where he said that the world had people, millions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs. She let out an actual laugh at that thought. At the time it was said she hadn't thought that it was all that funny, but damn if she actually thought about it that's what any vampire would think.

She shakes her head, a rueful smile crosses her lips. It was hard to believe that this was the trigger that led Spike to help save the world many more times. And each of those times he'd done for love, except for that one time with the Apocolypse demons. He'd just been really bored then, and from what Willow had told her about that night, he'd been suicidal. She and Xander had walked in on him trying to stake himself. They, or actually Willow had made the depressed vamp come with them so that he couldn't attempt to off himself again.

But mostly he'd saved the world all those times, because he'd loved her, and ultimately he'd saved it one too many times.

She hated when her mind went into that big, pit of despair, and she soooo wasn't gonna go there.

She gently shuts the cover of the flowered diary, and pulls a green and blue striped book out of the box. Senior year was written in big, block, print on the front inside cover. She eagerly flips through the pages to the one entry she really cared anything about in this one.

Finding the purple inked page, god she didn't know what she'd been thinking when she decided that she'd use different colors of ink on each page of this diary. Coloring coding was Will's thing, but it had made the entry easier to find.

She settles back into her chair, takes a sip of her double latte', and begins to read the pages.

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A/N: Well here's chapter 4, hope everyone enjoyed. Why not leave a review, and tell me what you think..