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This Time Around by chlarkspuffy
 
Chapter 5: Mirror, Mirror
 
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A/N: 'YBuffy' refers to Buffy of season 5. I use it only when both Buffys are in the same scene.

Hugs to my wonderful beta slaymesoftly, and to the talented always_jbj for the gorgeous banner.

~*~


Sunnydale, 2001

Buffy took a deep, calming breath before pushing open the door and stepping into the Magic Box. Her nervous gaze flitted across the room until coming to rest upon the figure of the blonde. She was there – she, her future self. That’s me, years from now. I wonder how old I, no, she is? The only differences between them in outward appearance were a few extra pounds, a couple of faint lines around the eyes, and the highlights. Buffy stared at her, scrutinizing her features, looking for something…..something. What, she didn’t know. How was one supposed to react in such a situation?

The older slayer was committing a similar perusal of her younger self, although she had far fewer questions. After all, she was her – her past self. She knew the young girl’s every thought, doubt, fear, hope, recrimination – because she had been her, once, so very long ago. So, she examined the youthful slayer with almost amused curiosity.

The others remained silent spectators to the strange encounter of past and future selves. The silence was broken by simultaneous exclamations from the slayers.

“I can’t believe you guys let me wear that shirt in public!”

“Are you sure that’s me, cuz I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing that shirt!”

The two blondes looked at each other and giggled, the awkwardness dispelled with their mutual distaste for each other’s current choice of apparel. A smattering of laughter broke out amongst the Scoobies as well.

“Yes, I think it would be safe to say you are one and the same, or rather you will be someday,” Giles said wryly, stumbling over the tense.

“So, you’re here looking for a guy you think is connected to Glory somehow?” YBuffy asked, remembering what the others had told her about her future self’s mission.

“Uh huh. That’s my guess anyway. I don’t know for sure.”

“What makes you think he’s here because of Glory?”

“Just a hunch,” Buffy shrugged, trying to feign nonchalance. Well it’s partly true. She had no actual evidence that he was connected to Glory. She trusted her instinct and it was telling her that the two were connected.

YBuffy seemed dissatisfied and suspicious of her answer. “A hunch? You want us to take on a demon who can beat us to a pulp, on a hunch? You do remember what it was like, don’t you?”

“Yes, all too well. Do I have to remind you that our instincts about these things are seldom wrong?” Buffy said, one eyebrow arched for emphasis.

“Seldom wrong?” YBuffy repeated, wearing a look of mild horror. “Giles she talks like you! Again, I ask – are we sure she is who she says she is?”

She glared at Buffy suspiciously, her tone defiant. “How do we know you’re not some kind of demon playing tricks on us? How do we know you aren’t working for Glory?”

“Wait a minute, what if she is Glory?!” Xander exclaimed, leaping to his feet and stumbling over his chair as he attempted to put distance between himself and Buffy.

Everyone tensed and froze. YBuffy curled her fists, readying herself at the possibility of a fight. It was Tara who spoke up, tentatively at first. “S-she’s telling the truth. I’ve read her aura. Y-you can’t fake an aura.”

There was a collective sigh of relief. Only YBuffy remained wary. “How can you be sure? Glory’s powerful. She’s not like anything we’ve faced before. A little thing like an aura could be no problem for her.”

Tara shook her. “No, an aura is the product of a person’s energy – their essence. It can’t be masked or altered. No matter what form Glory takes, her aura would remain the same.”

“I think Tara’s right,” Willow said and smiled as she touched her girlfriend lightly on the arm in a gesture of affectionate support. “She really knows this stuff. Remember when Faith kidnapped your body? Tara was the only one who knew.”

YBuffy looked at her Watcher for confirmation and at his nod, she relaxed and nodded her own acceptance of the witch’s explanation. “So, what do we do now?”

“Now we catch ourselves a slimy little weasel before he does any damage,” Xander said, giving Buffy a slightly abashed, apologetic look for doubting her.

“I don’t understand why she can’t tell us more, Giles. She must have information that could help us defeat Glory,” YBuffy persisted, her every instinct screaming to exploit all available resources if it meant she could protect Dawn from Glory.

“Buffy, I’m sure you understand the danger knowing future events could pose. “

“Yeah, not too keen on not having my future to go back to,” Buffy protested, her brow knit in a slight frown. “Or forward.”

“I must suffer severe brain damage, if I’m ignoring the obvious, although I don’t know what your excuse is, Giles,” YBuffy remarked, not without some sarcasm.

“I beg your pardon!” her Watcher objected.

“Hey! Remember who the older one here is,” Buffy admonished. “Geez, was I always this rude?”

YBuffy ignored their indignant protests. “Well, think about it. None of this happened in your past, right? You never met an older you, but I have. Things are already different. How do you know the future hasn’t already changed? Maybe it’s too late for you. But it doesn’t have to be for me.”

~*~


Opting to make herself useful by staying out of everyone’s way, Buffy worked out her frustrations in the training room. Willow searched for a time-travel spell with the help of Anya and Xander, whilst Giles and Tara worked on modifying the locator spell. YBuffy left them to their assigned research duties and returned to the hospital to be with her mom and sister.

She didn’t know what to tell Dawn, if anything. She hesitated outside her mom’s hospital room. No, she decided, looking at her mother and younger sister playing a game of cards. Now’s not the time. Riley’s voice broke into her thoughts.

“So, how did it go?”

Buffy shrugged, giving him a tired smile. “It was weird. I mean she’s me, but not. She’s already been through everything that I’m going through - and much more, I imagine. It’s like I was looking in a mirror, except I wasn’t.” She rested her head against his shoulder. “I’m not making much sense, am I?” She released a weary sigh and returned her attention to her family.

Riley followed Buffy’s gaze. “You want to know about your mom?” It was more of an observation than a question.

A single tear threatened to escape her eye and Riley brushed it away. “A part if me wants to know….so that I can be prepared, but another part of me doesn’t. What if it’s bad? I don’t want to give up hope.”

“You don’t have to, Buffy. That’s what I love about you. You never give up fighting.”

Buffy sniffled and let her boyfriend pull her into the comforting warmth of his arms. “I don’t know what I’d do without you, Riley. You, just being here, makes it so much easier.”

Riley felt the first flicker of relief within his heart at hearing her admit her need. She needs me. That night Riley stayed and helped the young Summers’ girls check their mother out of the hospital.

It was half past ten by the time Buffy finally had some time to herself. She had managed with some difficulty to convince Riley that he should patrol. He’d objected, saying that she needed him more, but she resisted, pointing out that she didn’t want some innocent’s death weighing on her conscience just because she was taking some time off, when she had a perfectly capable boyfriend to pick up the slack. In truth, she had just wanted some time alone – time to deal with her fears, and time to reflect upon her future. Judging by the appearance of time-traveler-Buffy, at least I have a future, she told herself encouragingly.

~*~


Riley stopped by the Magic Box halfway through patrol. A part of him was clamouring to spend some time with the older Buffy in the hopes that she might let slip what the future holds for them. Are we still together? He hadn’t seen a wedding ring, so he knew at least, that she wasn’t married. She hadn’t revealed her age, but he was guessing that she was at least four or five years older than his Buffy.

The atmosphere was heavy with the scent of frustration. Willow’s research indicated that opening a portal required some rather hard to get ingredients. Giles, however, was fairly confident that he could secure them all; all but one – essence of the light. No one knew what that meant, and thus currently, Willow, Xander, and Anya were engrossed in researching the particular phrase. Only Buffy had a pretty good idea what it referred to, and she kept her mouth shut with some difficulty.

“Out patrolling?” she asked Riley in a casual tone. The long-sleeved turtleneck he wore served as an ugly reminder of the nighttime activities he had indulged in.

Riley stammered a bit in assent, wondering whether this Buffy knew what exactly he’d been doing these last few nights. Her expression seemed friendly enough, though, so he couldn’t be sure. “Yeah, they brought Joyce home today. She wanted to go home instead of waiting in the hospital until the surgery. Buffy asked me to patrol.”

Buffy nodded. Her thoughts drifted back to that day. Her recollections were a bit hazy, but she remembered she’d finally broken down that day and cried. I wonder if she’s crying too? Her head shot up abruptly. “Wait, this isn’t how it happened!”

Giles glanced up from the book he was reading. “What do you mean?”

“The last time you guys were researching the demon that attacked me.”

“What demon?” Xander and Willow asked in unison.

“Attacked you when?” Riley demanded.

“Tonight!”

“Where? At home?”

“Yes.”

“I’ve got to go,” Riley said and left before anyone could say anything else.

Xander started follow, but Buffy stopped him. “No, it’s ok. She’ll be fine.”

“How can you be sure? Things are already different. How do you know that she’ll be ok?”

“Because she has help.”

“So, Riley gets there in time then?”

“No.”

“I don’t follow.”

“Spike.”

As if saying his name aloud was all that was needed, Buffy felt the threads of her bond reawaken, tugging at her heart and soul. She gasped and doubled over at the sheer happiness that consumed her. Spike! Oh god, I thought I’d lost you. Where are you? I need to see you…to touch you….love you. Please, my love, I can’t bear this much longer. Every single emotion she had bottled up poured into her thoughts and she knew that even though he couldn’t hear the words, he would understand their meaning, just as she could understand his – fear, frustration, longing, hope….and love, always love.

She reached out to assure him that she was fine and in response he promised her that everything would be ok. At his assurance, Buffy felt calm for the first time since she had been plunged into her past. She wasn’t alone anymore. Spike was there. Everything’s going to be ok. Then, just like before, the bond vanished. Buffy moaned at the loss, although this time, she was confident that it wasn’t permanent. This time, she knew that Spike was still out there, and he was coming for her. That’s what he did. He always came for her.

“Buffy?” Willow laid a gentle hand on the Slayer’s shoulder. “Buffy, are you alright?”

“What did that bleached-blond menace do this time?” Xander asked angrily.

Buffy composed herself and straightened her form. “I’m ok.” Seeing Willow’s sceptical look she added, “Really, Will, I’m fine. Just a little cramp. No biggie.”

“You were saying?” Xander prompted her, looking a little confused when she gazed at him blankly.

“You said something about Spike. Spike’s at the house? Is he the responsible for the demon?”

“What?! No!” Buffy assured him hurriedly. “No, Spike’s the one who helps Buffy fight the demon.”

Xander’s smile fell. “Damn! And here I thought I finally had an excuse to get rid of him.”


~*~


Scotland, 2009 – Slayer Command Central

“Spike?” Dawn shook the vampire’s shoulder, concernedly. He was doubled over on his knees, breathing harshly. “Spike!” she said a little more forcefully. “What happened? A minute ago you were ecstatic. Did something happen to Buffy?”

“Give him a minute, Dawnie. I think he lost his connection to Buffy again when the window closed,” Willow told her.

Dawn gave her a piercing, accusatory glare. “What happened? You were supposed to focus it on Buffy and send him to her!”

“I don’t know,” the dejected witch whispered. “I told you, I didn’t know if it would work that way.”

Dawn’s head whipped back around towards the vampire who finally spoke. “’m ok, Bit. She’s ok – a bit scared and lonely, but alright. I told her I’m comin’, but I’m not sure she got my message.” He looked at Willow for an explanation. “What went wrong, Red?”

Willow was ringing her hands nervously. “I did the spell the minute you told us that you sensed her. Something happened. I saw it,” she insisted and turned to Dawn. “Dawnie, you saw it too, didn’t you? It looked like the portal was widening, but then it did this pulsating thing and whoosh! It disappeared.”

“Yeah, it seemed like it was working there for a minute,” the young girl conceded. “Can’t you do it again?”

Spike passed a hand over his weary face. “If only it were that easy, right, Red?”

Willow bit her lip, guiltily. “I’m sure I performed the spell correctly. It’s got to be something else.” She squared her shoulders and lifted her head, a look of determination in her eyes. “Don’t worry. I will fix it and we will bring Buffy back, I promise.”


 
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