CHAPTER 24: Will you kill me?

Spike was sitting on the roof of his crypt, smoking a cigarette. His legs were dangling from the edge and he was rhythmically kicking the stone wall with his heels. His head thrown back, he blew smoke at the stars, lost in thoughts. The peacefulness of the moment was suddenly shattered by an onslaught of intense emotions. Distress, fear, disbelief, betrayal. It hit him like a tidal wave. Buffy.

In a matter of seconds, he was off the roof and running at full speed in the direction of Revelo drive.

He burst through the door, making it slam against the wall so hard that the knob left a hole in it. Spike took the stairs three at a time and appeared in the doorway of Buffy's bedroom just in time to receive a leather bound book right in the face.

"Oi! Bloody Hell!" He yelled, holding his bleeding nose.

Buffy winced in sympathy. "Sorry honey! I wasn't aiming for you."

Spike finally noticed Giles who had apparently dodged the book just in time for the vampire to become the target instead.

Buffy's contrite expression quickly returned to anger and she picked up another book, apparently ready to aim again.

Giles put his hands up in surrender. "Dear lord! Will you stop long enough to explain the reason for this violent outburst?"

"Oh you wanna know? You wanna know, don't you? Here!" She threw the book she was holding. Giles managed to deflect it with his arm. "Read this if you really want to play dumb with me."

The expression on Spike's face was almost comical. "What is going on here?"

Buffy promptly burst into tears. Spike rushed to her and pulled her into his arms. "Buffy, luv, talk to me. What the bleeding hell is going on?"

Giles was looking at the leather bound journal with a confused look on his face. "Is this a Watcher's journal?" He looked at Buffy, sobbing in the vampire's arms. "How did you get this?"

She lifted her head away from Spike's shoulder long enough to answer. "Does it matter?!" She yelled at her Watcher.

"Did Benjamin send you those books, pet?"

She nodded, her forehead still resting against his shoulder.

"Who is Benjamin?" Giles asked.

"Benjamin Travers." Spike answered curtly.

"Quentin's nephew?” Giles sounded surprised.

“Yeah. Met the bloke in Hawaii.”

“Hawaii you say? It surprises me that Quentin left him enough free time for a vacation.”

Spike snorted. “If you call trying to kill me and Buffy a vacation.”

“Why on earth would Benjamin try to kill the two of you?”

Buffy pushed away from Spike, her anger back full force. “Oh cut the crap, Giles!”

“I beg your pardon?”

“Stop. Playing. Dumb.” She said slowly through clenched teeth.

The Watcher sighed. “Buffy, I wish I could, but I’m afraid you will have to explain the situation.”

She squared her shoulders and crossed her arms over her chest. Her eyes were burning holes through Giles. “Fine. You want clear? I’ll give you clear. Are you here to kill me?”

Giles sputtered uncharacteristically. “What??”

Even Spike was shocked at her question. “Buffy?”

“Yes, Giles, now that Spike and I have claimed each other, isn’t it your duty to get rid of your rogue Slayer? Isn’t it what happens to bad girls like me?.. ANSWER!”

Giles sat heavily on the foot of the bed, his shoulders slumped. “Dear lord...”

Buffy turned to Spike. “Did you know that Quentin sending Ben and Carlita to kill us in Hawaii was just a preemptive strike? Apparently, it’s totally normal to murder Slayers who hang out too much with vampires. We’re fair game now, honey.” She said sarcastically.

“So that’s what Ben wanted you to know? That’s what you found out in those journals?”

“These are the missing journals, aren’t they?” Giles finally said, his voice almost lifeless. “The ones I was told were lost over time.”

Buffy’s anger deflated, tears returning to her eyes. She took a few steps in Giles’ direction. “Tell me you didn’t know about that. Please.”

He shook his head. “I... I heard stories. I was told these slayers turned evil, killed humans. Like Faith did.”

She snickered. “They were not. They were like me. Older Slayers who fell in love with vampires. Vampires who changed sides, not the other way around.”

Giles looked up. “Buffy, you must know that I would never...”

“Read the journals, Giles.” She tightened the sash of her robe self-consciously. “We’ll be downstairs.”

The information suddenly traveled to his brain. “...You claimed each other?”

But she was already gone, Spike close on her heels.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Buffy and Spike walked into the kitchen silently. He didn’t need to be her mate to feel the waves of tension coming off of her. She went to sit at the kitchen table, her elbows resting on it, and her head in her hands.

Spike went to the fridge and opened it.

After a moment, Buffy looked up. “What are you doing?”

“Making you something to eat. You didn’t eat anything all day.”

She frowned. “How do you know that? Is it the claim thingy?”

He smirked. “Heard your stomach growling.”

Buffy managed a smile. “Clever man. Didn’t know you could cook.”

“Nothing fancy, pet. But I can make a mean sandwich.”

She nodded. “Sounds good.”

She remained silent while Spike sliced up tomatoes and cucumbers, her face thoughtful. He looked at her, but didn’t say anything; he didn’t want to intrude on her thoughts. He put some bread in the toaster and waited somewhat impatiently for the toast to pop out. Buffy sighed loudly, but he still didn’t say anything. He spread some mustard on the toast, then added the tomato and cucumber slices, and some left over chicken. He put the sandwich on a plate and cut it in two triangles before walking up to Buffy and setting the plate in front of her. He went back to the fridge, got a can of diet coke, a glass that he filled with ice, and put it next to her plate.

“Eat.” He commanded.

Buffy did as she was told.

“Thanks.” She said after the second bite. “I didn’t realize how hungry I was. It’s been a long day.”

“Wanna tell me about it?” He finally asked.

She took another bite and chewed carefully before answering. “Remember I told you I didn’t find anything of interest in the journals at Giles’ place?”

He nodded.

“Well after that, I talked to Ben on the phone. He said he had already sent me the missing journals. Got them today. I spent the entire day reading them.”

“And I gather by what I heard upstairs, the Slayers in those journals got into a bit of trouble with the Council for their associating with bad boys with fangs?”

Buffy’s expression darkened even more. She proceeded to tell him the story of those girls, calling them by name like old friends. Even if they lived long before her time, she felt close to them. Mixed with her outrage at how their lives were ended by the short sightedness of some British men who thought of themselves as God, was the strong feeling of not being alone anymore. In a way, it was as if Catarina, Marguerite, and the others were telling her that she wasn’t a freak for loving a vampire.

Spike listened attentively to her words, but he had to stop himself from growling. He wanted nothing more than to fly across the ocean and rip Quentin Travers’ head right off.

Buffy hadn’t said anything for several moments. Spike looked up.

“And I thought I was supposed to be the monster.”

Buffy shook her head. “You’re not a monster, Spike. You acted according to your nature, did what was expected of you, until you found a reason to change. And you did a pretty good job at changing.”

Spike smiled. “Vampire, pet. By definition... Monsters.”

“If you told me that a while ago, I might have agreed with you. But I gotta say, after today, my definition of a monster is radically different. Men with souls who get rid of girls the same way they would get rid of spoiled food that’s been in the fridge for too long, those are monsters to me.”

“I’ll have to agree with you.” Giles walked into the room, put the six journals on the table and took a seat next to Spike. His face was grim.

“So you really had no idea this was going on, Watcher?” Spike asked.

Giles took his glasses off and pinched the bridge of his nose, his eyes closed. He sighed. “Like I said before, I’ve heard stories. But to have the proof in front of me is rather disturbing, and worrisome.”

Spike stood. “Anybody want tea?” His body was taut with unreleased tension. Since he couldn’t punch anything and couldn’t smoke because of Buffy’s no smoking policy, this was the next best thing.

Buffy and Giles both nodded.

While Spike busied himself making tea, Giles returned his attention to Buffy.

“I never paid much mind to the rumors, but I didn’t take a chance either. Whenever Angel was brought up, I tried to downplay your involvement with him. I always put emphasis on the fact he had a soul and was helping. Of course, at some point, it was impossible to hide,”

Buffy snorted. “I guess it didn’t help when I called the Council to ask for help to cure him, then quit when they refused.”

Giles smiled slightly . “No, it didn’t. But at this point, they had their hands full with Faith and the mayor’s ascension. And Angel still had a soul. It could have played a part.”

Spike put down three steaming cups of tea on the table and reclaimed his seat between Buffy and Giles.

“But now,” Giles continued, “with Spike...”

“I fit the profile of the Slayer gone bad. Plus, I spent the past seven years pissing Quentin off so he’s all too eager to get rid of me.”

“Exactly.” Giles agreed.

“But why did he have to do it behind the Council’s back? Ben told us Quentin wanted the whole thing to be hush-hush; make it look like an accident. If this practice is accepted by the Council, why did he have to hide it?”

Giles frowned and thought about it for a moment. “Did you claim each other before the trip?”

“No. But some of those girls hadn’t been claimed either. The one in Seattle was just friends with one and she got axed anyway. No pun intended.”

“Maybe he was afraid not all Council members would agree with this barbaric tradition, pet.” Spike suggested.

The blond Slayer narrowed her eyes. “The Council has never seen me as anything but a disposable tool. I don’t see why they would suddenly grow a conscience.”

“Not all the Watchers think that way, Buffy.” Giles looked at her pointedly. “I did lose my job because I cared too much, didn’t I?”

“Yes, because you got to know me. That doesn’t count.”

“Based on what you said, Ben seemed reluctant to kill you.” Giles said thoughtfully.

“Not at first. He came around, but he did fly all the way to Hawaii with Carlita to kill us.” She argued.

They all sipped on their tea silently for a while, lost in their thoughts. After a while, Buffy spoke again.

“Giles?” She started hesitantly.

“Yes?”

“In the other journals... well, while I was reading the oldest ones, one of the Watchers mentioned something about how the first Slayer was made and I was wondering...”

Giles was frowning. “You read the journals I have in my possession?”

Buffy looked guilty. “Uh, yeah. I sorta broke into your apartment a couple of days ago because Ben told me I should read the journals. Sorry about that.”

He rolled his eyes. “Is that your influence, Spike?” He asked the vampire almost playfully despite the tension.

The vampire smirked. “What can I say, she’s a quick learner.”

“Excuse me, can we get back on track here?” Buffy asked the two men, one eyebrow raised.

“I’m sorry, Buffy. Go on.” The watcher gestured for her to continue.

“As I was saying--and gotta say, I was a little freaked about that--this watcher mentioned that the essence of a demon was used to create the first Slayer.”

Spike gave her a curious look. He’d never heard that before.

Giles confirmed it. “The details are a little sketchy, but yes, that would be correct. Although, this does not mean you are part demon. Merely that you have the strength of one. I don’t think it’s something you should worry about, Buffy.”

“I’m not. Well, I was upset at first, but,” she shrugged “I guess it makes sense in some weird way. It makes things more fair in a fight. But that’s not what I was getting at. What I want to say is, do you think it might be meant to be? Slayers and vampires I mean. If you think about it, the ones who had a chance to end up with a vampire as a mate were older Slayers. Having a demon for partner kind ups the chances for survival, don’t you think?”

Giles thought about what she said, carefully pondering his answer. “It would make sense, but I’m not so sure about that. Like I said, you are not part demon, so I don’t see why Slayers would be more attracted by demons.”

“I’m not saying older Slayers are automatically attracted to demons, any demons, I’m just saying that it would make sense if a vampire was to fall in love with a Slayer and wanted to change his ways... Well, what I’m trying to say is that people in general are more attracted to their equal, physical or intellectual. A Slayer and a human male is not exactly a match made in heaven. Look at me and Riley. He’ll probably never get over the inferiority complex.”

“I’ve always had my doubts that the Council didn’t like to have older Slayers on their hands. For many reasons I believe. Too confident, too independent, too much knowledge of the demon world. This could be another reason. I’ve wondered if the Cruciamentum ritual was really designed to test Slayers’s competency when they turn eighteen, as they say, or if it was to get rid of them.”

Buffy nodded. “That would make sense. Think about how much longer a Slayer could live if she was paired with a vampire willing to help her. I know you’re not happy about Spike and I being together, but you’ve seen us work together. When it comes to keeping the demon world in check, we’re better together.” She flashed Spike a smile. “Not that I’m with you because of the increased chances of survival, honey.”

“Geez, thanks. I’m relieved.” He rolled his eyes.

“Giles, these girls had done nothing wrong.” Buffy continued. “Vampires switched sides to be with them, not the other way around. I can see how hundreds of years ago, the reaction of the Council made sense in a sickening way. We’re talking about a time when women were burned at the stake for being able to cure a headache with some herbs they found in their garden. So never mind sleeping with a demon. But now? It’s inexcusable. Nothing is black and white and the Council needs to see that. I need to put an end to this.”

“So what do you suggest we do, Slayer?” Spike asked.

“What we do best. Think outside the box. We always find a solution, today is no different.”

Spike closed his eyes, a pained expression on his face. “This has research written all over it, does it?”

Giles smirked almost evilly. “It does indeed.”

Buffy ignored them. “I do have the beginning of an idea forming. But for it to work, we’ll need to find everything we can on these murders. The one that happened the most recently. I’ll have to talk to Willow and try to get her to work with us on this. We can do it without her, but she’s better with computers.”

Spike looked positively miserable. “Like I said: research. Bloody hell!”