Willow shivered in fear before the large, floating head whose booming voice seemed to surround the group.

“I am Oz, the great and powerful, who are you?!”

Buffy sighed.

“I am Dorothy…the small and meek. We’ve come to ask….”

“SILENCE! The great Oz knows why you have come! And I will grant you your request, if you do one small favor.”

“Get on with it,” Buffy grumbled under her breath.

Xander peered out at the floating Oz from underneath his hat.

“And what favor is that?”

“Bring me the broomstick of the Wicked Witch of the West, and I shall help you,” he boomed, in a strangely polite tone.

Buffy raised an eyebrow at the floating head.

“You’re sure you aren’t planning on cheating us out of our requests after you have her broomstick?”

The floating head gasped.

“Of course not! What kind of Wizard do you think I am?”

“Right. Well, we’ll see. C’mon, guys, we have a witch to melt.”

Leaning closer to Spike, Buffy whispered to him.

“And damned if I’m not going to enjoy killing your ex-girlfriend.”


--


Drusilla hadn’t noticed that “clone” flying monkeys had replaced two of her favorite “faeries”. She squealed at the image of the questing group walking into her enchanted woods.

“Fetch them my pretty faeries! Bring them here and you shall have some lovely tea,” she said, pointing at Buffy and Spike, “leave the others. Just bring those two. Now! Fetch, fetch!”

Angel sighed as he signaled the other flying monkeys to follow him, and took off towards the forest.

I really have to get a new job.

--

Buffy stared at the strange formation heading towards them from above. When the realization hit, she barely had a moment to call out to Spike.

“Spike, you trust me, right?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. Don’t fight this, then. Just, go with it.”

Spike cocked his head to the side, but his unasked question was answered as the flying monkeys flew down and scooped he and Buffy up in their feet. Remembering her warning to “go with it,” Spike relaxed as a strangely familiar monkey carried him after Buffy into a large, gray castle. As they entered it, prodded forward by the familiar monkey, Buffy and Spike shook their heads in annoyance.

“Again, pet, why did you have to be Dorothy for your little party?”

“I already said I was sorry.”

“Yeah, yeah. Next time, wish for a costume from a dirty flick.”

Buffy shot a pseudo-irritated look at Spike, before sighing as they were pushed into a small room. When the door clicked behind them, Buffy pecked Spike on the cheek.

“How are we going to get home, Spike?”

“I don’t know, pet. I don’t really care where I am though, as long as I can be with you.”

Tears brimmed in Buffy’s eyes as she threw herself into Spike’s arms.

“You’re corny and I love it. I do love you, you know.”

“Yeah, pet, I know.”

Still free of undergarments, Buffy wrapped a leg around Spike and pulled up her skirt to give him a full view. His arousal grew hard at her opening, and she moaned as his stiffness prodded at her through his jeans. Freeing himself in a fluid motion, Spike thrust into her wet slit and assaulted her mouth with deep kisses. Their lust-driven sexcapade blocked some of their senses, and they didn’t notice as Drusilla and Angel entered the room. Buffy cried out as her orgasm shook through her body.

Drusilla gagged and pointed Angel at the copulating couple. Sighing in his monkey way, Angel hopped over to a bucket full of water and threw it at them. The sudden cold sensation combined with Drusilla’s scream finally knocked Buffy and Spike from their lusty haze. As Drusilla melted into the floor, Spike shrugged, continuing to pound into Buffy until his own orgasm pulsed through him. Straightening themselves, Buffy and Spike inspected the remnants of Drusilla, and then grabbed her broomstick.

“Well, that was easy,” Buffy said with a laugh.

Angel hopped over to them, shaken from accidentally murdering his mistress. The realization of who this monkey was finally struck Spike, who burst into a rumbling laugh.

“Angel? Look at you…you’re a…you’re a wee little monkey man!”

Angel growled and hopped around angrily. Buffy held back her own laughter and grabbed Spike’s hand as she walked out of the room.

“Let’s go, honey. We really need to get back home.”

As they ran down the stairs, they almost ran over Xander, Anya, and Willow. Buffy smiled at them, thankfully.

“Aw! You guys came to rescue us?”

Xander nodded, proudly.

“Yeah! Are you alright, Dorothy?”

“We’re fine. Killed the Wicked Witch…er…her monkey did…oh, never mind. Let’s get back to the Wizard and collect our rewards.”

The group cheered and made the oddly quick walk back to the Emerald City.

--

Standing before the “Wizard,” again, Buffy tossed the witch’s broomstick down.

“We killed her. Send us home.”

“Not so fast…not so fast! I will have to give the matter a little thought. I don’t have to do anything right now, we didn’t sign a contract, and you have no legal course of action you can take. Go away, and come back tomorrow.”

Buffy frowned and motioned to Spike to open the curtain across the room. Giles stood behind it, flustered, and attempting to work a set of controls.

“Oh, dear Lord, umm….umm…pay no attention to the man behind the…oh, dear Lord. You don’t believe me, do you?”

Buffy shook her head.

Nope. Now pay up, or I’ll kill you too.”

Grabbing a large bag, Giles motioned to the group to follow him to a table. He laid out a diploma, a heart-shaped watch, and a medal.

“Here, Scarecrow, this is for you. Back where I come from, we have universities, seats of great learning where men go to become great thinkers. And when they come out, they think deep thoughts — and with no more brains than you have... But! They have one thing you haven't got! A diploma!”

Xander frowned as he accepted it.

“I needed another eye too.”

“One request per household, I’m afraid.”

“Cheapskate.”

“Watch it or I’ll excommunicate you. Here, Miss Tin Woman, back where I come from, there are men who do nothing all day but good deeds. They are called phila-, er, er, philanth-er, yes, er, good-deed doers, and their hearts are no bigger than yours. But they have one thing you haven't got - a testimonial. Therefore, in consideration of your kindness, I take pleasure at this time in presenting you with a small token of our esteem and affection. And remember, my sentimental friend, that a heart is not judged by how much you love, but by how much you are loved by others.”

Anya smiled as she grabbed the clock and inspected it.

“Thanks,” she said, before whispering to Xander, “how much do you think I can pawn this thing off for?”

Giles cleared his throat, and pinned the medal on Willow.

“As for you, my fine friend — you're a victim of disorganized thinking. You are under the unfortunate delusion that simply because you run away from danger, you have no courage. You're confusing courage with wisdom. Back where I come from though we have men who are called heroes. Once a year, they take their fortitude out of mothballs and parade it down the main street of the city. And they have no more courage than you have. But — They have one thing that you haven't got! A medal! Therefore — for meritorious conduct, extraordinary valor, conspicuous bravery against wicked witches, I award you the Triple Cross. You are now a member of the Legion of Courage.”

“Ow,” Willow said, “I mean…thanks? But did you have to pin it right on me? This isn’t a suit, you know…it’s my skin.”

“No matter. Did everyone get what they needed?”

Spike raised an eyebrow.

“Not quite, mate. The lady and I want to go home.”

“Ah, well, I’m afraid I don’t quite have that in my bag….”

Buffy forgot herself and began to sob. Spike yelled out to everyone in the room, his vampiric face breaking forth in his rage.

“Get out! All of you! NOW!”

Giles, Xander, Anya, and Willow scurried out of the room, leaving Buffy and Spike alone in the long hall. Buffy sobbed loudly.

“Oh, God, Spike, I just want to go home!”

Spike shook himself out of his “game face” and wrapped his arms around his crying Slayer.

“I know, pet, I know. But the Bit said we’d get out if we follow the movie’s pattern, right? Shouldn’t we be out by a balloon or something now?”

Buffy nodded.

“Yeah…wait, how did you know that? I thought you never saw ‘The Wizard of Oz’?”

Spike stepped back, rolling his eyes.

“Never mind, pet.”

“I don’t think we have to go to the balloon right this second if you want to make use of the empty hall….”

Spike mischievously grinned at Buffy as he scooped her up and laid her on the table, flipping her skirt up and kissing her thighs.

“You know, despite everything, love, I really do love to shag you in this outfit.”

--