Ethan and Theresa walked into Harmony’s town center, surrounded by a strange feeling. Too encompassed in their own world, they didn’t notice until it was too late that they were about to run into someone. When she fell onto the ground, Ethan stuck his hand out, apologizing profusely.

“Oh my gosh, I’m so sorry…Gwen?”

Gwen, although slightly frazzled from being knocked over, still refused to reach for Ethan’s hand.

“You…Ethan…I’m…no, no, you made it perfectly clear to me earlier. I just want to tell you I’m so sorry for leaking your paternity to the tabloids. I was just trying….”

Ethan’s face reddened with rage.

“You did that? Gwen…I…get away from me. Never speak to me again, you got it? You’ve ruined my life! I’ll hate you forever for this you stupid bitch!”

Quickly walking around the slumped over Gwen, Ethan grabbed Theresa’s hand and continued their walk towards Crane manor. Various Harmony residents looked away from their stomping movements, however, Ethan didn’t seem to notice.

“Theresa?”

“Yes?”

“Since we’re home, we’re getting married. Now.”

“Ethan!”

“Julian is going to sign an annulment right now or I’ll break his neck. I think I retained some of that Spike guy’s powers…I feel stronger. And I’m pissed!”

Theresa smiled.

“It’s great to see you so passionate like this, Ethan.”

“You know what? I realized something, Theresa. I love you. I loved you from the moment we met. No matter what stupid thing comes between us, we’ll always wind up together.”

“That’s what I’ve always said, Ethan.”

“I know, baby, I know. I think that’s why we were switched with Spike and Buffy. It seems like they were going through the same stuff we were.”

“Yeah, but I managed to keep my shirt on.”

“We’ll see about that later,” he said with a wink.

Pounding a heavy fist on the front door of the home he had grown up in, Ethan waited impatiently for a servant to answer.

“Let me see Julian, now.”

Julian cleared his throat as he walked out from behind the door.

“I’m right here, son…er…Ethan. Here,” he said, handing over a legal-looking document.

“What’s this?”

“The annulment you wanted me to sign. I…I didn’t want you to…yes, well, at any rate, it’s all signed and everything. And I made sure that Theresa got a hefty sum for her trouble…help you out with the baby.”

Theresa’s eyes sparkled with the realization of what had happened.

“Thank you, Julian.”

“Yes, well. I have to admit I was a bit excited with the prospect of being a father again right after losing who I thought was my son…but…Ethan, I hope you and Theresa will let me be a part of your child’s life…I…after everything that has happened, I really need something to look forward to.”

Ethan’s mind was working overtime to register what he had heard.

“Right, sure. We have to go.”

“Nice seeing the two of you again.”

The door shut in front of them with a resounding “THUMP,” Ethan turned to Theresa, his eyes searching her own for answers.

“Theresa…I…is what Julian said true? The baby…it’s…it’s mine?”

Theresa shook her head in confusion.

“I don’t know…I…I just started taking the Pill the night before we…so it couldn’t have been…could it?”

Ethan smiled pressing a light kiss on his naive lover’s forehead.

“Theresa, honey, birth control doesn’t quite work like that. It was the first time you had taken it, right?”

“Right.”

“The ‘control’ part of it wouldn’t have kicked in until at least two weeks after you started taking it.”

Theresa smiled.

“So it looks like we just got the ‘birth’ part?”

“I guess it does.”

“Well, then. Let’s get married so our little guy has a family to look forward to coming into.”

Grabbing her hand again, Ethan walked with Theresa toward Father Lonnigan’s parish.

“Sounds like a plan.”

--

A few hours later, Ethan and Theresa lay, soaked in sweat, in her bedroom. She curled her fingers in his hair.

“Thank God Mama went out for the afternoon.”

“I concur, Mrs. Winthrop.”

“Mmm…it’s nice to hear you say that, Ethan.”

“I’m sorry it isn’t ‘Mrs. Crane’.”

“No, I didn’t like being ‘Mrs. Crane.’ I’d much rather be ‘Mrs. Ethan Whatever.’ I love you no matter what you call yourself.”

“Oh, great! What if I made you call me ‘Spike’ from now on?”

Theresa frowned at him and playfully pinched his chest.

“No. I think I’ve had enough of hearing you be called a dog’s name.”

“Right. Whereas the name ‘Buffy’ gives off a touch of classic elegance.”

“What’s wrong with ‘Buffy’?”

Chuckling, Ethan brought Theresa into a deep kiss.

“You know, we’re still mated in addition to being married. I can still see the bite marks on your neck.”

Theresa beamed broadly at him, absentmindedly touching the small scars on her neck.

“I know. It’s weird though, isn’t it? Do vampires even exist in Harmony?”

Ethan shook his head.

“After what we’ve been through, nothing would surprise me.”

“Was that, like, not normal, though? You know, what we went through right after?”

“You mean the memory thing?”

“Yeah.”

“No, I don’t think so. The book said that’d happen…oh hey! What about the telepathic speech thing? Did that kick in yet?”

Theresa shrugged.

“I don’t know…why don’t you test it out?”

“Okay,” Ethan said with a mischievous smirk.

Theresa gasped in mock horror, her eyes bulging out.

“Why, Mr. Winthrop! I’m a married woman now! We don’t do that sort of thing!”

“Oh yeah?”

Pouncing on top of Theresa, Ethan assaulted her mouth with a series of kisses. She giggled as he brushed his hands softly over her naked torso, tickling her mercilessly.

“Okay! Okay! But just this once!”

--

Giles staggered into his apartment, hung over, and fully expecting to be greeted by the orgasmic screams of the strangers inhabiting Buffy and Spike’s bodies. Instead, he found the two of them collapsed on his floor, Buffy gripping a book entitled ‘Vampyre Mating Rituals’ close to her chest.

“Oh, dear lord!”

--