After a short patrol the next night, she soon found her feet leading her towards Spike’s crypt and smiled to herself- it was funny how willingly she found herself going to Spike now, when before she had spent all her time trying to resist that urge. She laughed lightly and pushed open the door, making her way into the crypt.

At first sight, there was no sign of Spike but she only rolled her eyes and dropped down into the lower level. She whirled round, ready to berate him for still being in bed, and came to a halt, her mouth open, ready to speak- but unable to do so.

The vampire was fast asleep, sprawled out on his front, the sheets hardly covering his naked form. She swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before calling out the vampire’s name.

“Spike?”

There wasn’t even the slightest hint of a reply from the vampire and she sighed. The sight of his smooth, pale skin was doing bad things to her wavering self-control.

“Spike,” she got out, a bit louder.

Still there was no reply and she moaned lowly. She didn’t want to resort to throwing things at him as she had once before, but her less violent method seemed to be having no effect.

“Spike, wake up. Please.”

This time he gave out a little moan and she gave a sigh of relief- only to frown again as he turned his head, settling back into the pillows and resuming his peaceful sleep. Wow, he really did sleep like the dead…unsurprisingly.


She was beginning to lose her patience but then with something close to a wicked smile, she moved a step closer to the vampire’s bed.

“Spike? I need you to wake up…” she cooed, “I’m all naked and I need you… I want you. Won’t you wake up and come-”

“Whoever put you back together is gonna get their head severely dented,” Spike murmured, not opening his eyes.

“I’m flattered. All that time together and you still can’t tell me from a robot.”

Spike groaned and opened his eyes slowly, meeting her amused gaze.

“True…the ‘bot wouldn’t have been standing all the way over there.”

He leered and she rolled her eyes, averting her eyes as he sat up, pulling the sheet up over his waist.

“Thanks for that, Spike.”

“Anytime,” he answered with a laugh and she finally dared to meet his gaze again, “So, how are you, Slayer?”

“I’m good. You look better.”

“Feel it.”

“Good.”

He pushed himself up, resting his head against the headboard as he studied her.

“How’s the new Buffy thing going?”

“Well…it’s…going. I’m, you know, trying to be nice…not mopey.”

He smiled softly and she found herself drawn closer, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.

“And what’s the effect so far? Scoobies thanking their lucky stars?” he teased, retrieving a cigarette from his jeans’ pocket and placing it between his lips as he lit it.

“Probably. I think they prefer this Buffy. Also, you know, talking to them again.”

“Hope that doesn’t mean you don’t need my ear to chew on.”

At her raised eyebrow, he smiled and continued.

“Meant that non-literal like, love.”


She smiled and leaned back on her hands, meeting his soft gaze.

“Still like someone else to talk to.”

“Glad to hear it.”

They shared a soft smile and she found herself looking away quickly, caught up in his shining eyes.

“So, birthday preparations underway?”

“Something like that,” she answered with a wry smile, “Dawn’s kinda taken over all that. And everyone seems to inviting other people…Crazy.”

He laughed and she smiled, meeting his eyes again.

“You could bring Clem.”

“Think he’d like that. Very sociable type.”

“No poker though,” she added with a smile.

“Can’t promise anything but I’ll try to suppress my gambling urge for the night.”

“Thanks,” she said with a small laugh.

They fell into a not-quite-comfortable silence and she could feel his eyes on her as she stared mindlessly at her hands.


“So, Slayer…do I have permission to leave my crypt yet?”

She lifted her head and smiled.

“Well…I don’t know. Have you been a good boy?”

“Always,” he answered, doing that smiling thing with his tongue behind his teeth- and making her heart pound in all sorts of bad ways. Trying to cover her sudden excitement, she quickly spoke up.

“Well, I guess you do look better.”

“Can do a full inspection if you want.”

“Spike!” she exclaimed and he smiled, leaning back against the headboard.

“What’s up, Slayer?”

“No making comments like that.”

“Wouldn’t be very natural though, would it, Slayer?”

“Yeah, but it’d be good for my mental health,” she admitted with a sheepish smile.

“Poor Slayer. Going cold turkey not all it’s cracked up to be?” he teased, resting a hand low on his hip in a very deliberately suggestive way.

“You know, I always knew you were evil…”

He laughed and in one swift motion got to his feet, the sheet- thankfully- wrapped around his waist.

“Come on then, Slayer. Let me get some clothes on and we’ll go hunting.”

She got to her feet quickly and headed straight for the ladder.

“I…I’ll wait upstairs.”

As she disappeared into the safety of the upper level, she heard Spike’s low chuckle and felt herself blushing- shaking her head at her silliness even as she did.


~*~*~*~*~*


Spike finally appeared, fully-dressed, and they made their way out into the night. She couldn’t explain why, but the tension she had been feeling before just seemed to increase with every moment of awkward silence. She wasn’t entirely sure how to talk to Spike now- any time they had talked before, it had been laced with insults and innuendos. She frowned, biting her lip as they went along, praying for something to talk about. Luckily, Spike saved her by speaking up himself.

“So, how’s the wedding plans? Whelp chickening out yet?”

She found herself glaring at him.

“Of course he’s not,” she got out, “He’s all for marrying. Why would you say that?”

“Not sure the Whelp knows what he’s getting himself into.”

“’Coz you know so much about marriage, obviously,” she said sarcastically, folding her arms as she met his gaze.

“Well, no, but-“

“They’re getting married and that’s that,” she pronounced, almost daring him to challenge her.

“Just don’t think it’s that easy, pet.”

“They love each other, they want to get married. I don’t see how hard it is!”

Spike fell silent and she frowned, drawing to a halt and waiting for him to stop before she continued.

“I think it’s sweet. They love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together.”


Spike just raised an eyebrow at her as he fished a cigarette out of the packet and brought it to his lips.

“Just like you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Peaches?” he asked lowly, bringing his lighter to the cigarette and lighting in.

Her glare went up a notch and she found herself clenching her fists tightly to rein herself in.

“Well, this is real, isn’t it? They actually can be together. There’s nothing stopping them.”

“’Cept the Whelp’s many issues.”

“There are no issues. Why can’t you just be happy for them like a normal person?!” she cried, taking a step closer to him, feeling her anger threatening to overwhelm her, “Oh wait, you’re not a normal person. You wouldn’t know what it feels like.”

He threw the cigarette to the side at that and grabbed her arm, his eyes burning down into hers.

“Trying to tell me I don’t know what love feels like, Slayer?”

“Real love. Not obsession.”

“Seems to me I know more about it than you, Slayer. All your ideas about love are wrapped up in the great poofiness that is Peaches. You think it always has to be about hurting and self-sacrifice-”

“You don’t know what I felt!” she spat out, dragging her arm out of his grasp.

“Perfect little Romeo and Juliet scenario. And don’t even get me started on Soldier Boy!”


Before she knew what she was doing, she punched him square in the nose, sending him tottering backwards a few paces. Almost as soon as she had lashed out, she realised just what she had done and her hand went to her mouth in horror as he righted himself, bright eyes meeting hers as he held his nose.

“Oh God, Spike!” she got out, moving to his side, “I’m so sorry. I-“

“Leave it, Slayer,” he growled, moving his hand away from his bleeding nose, “Let’s get this patrol out of the way.”

“I-I didn’t mean to,” she stuttered, struggling to catch up with him as he strode off. He stopped abruptly and she almost collided with him as he spun back round to face her.

“Think you did, love. You always do. Argument not going the way you like, you resort to violence.”

“That- That’s not true!” she protested weakly.

“Bloody well is, and you know it!”

He tried to walk away again but she caught his arm, halting him.

“Please, I’m sorry. You’re bleeding, let me help you.”

“Don’t need your help, Slayer. Your help usually ends up with me bleeding.”

He shrugged her off and proceeded to walk away from her and she was left standing there, burning with outrage and shame.


After a few full minutes of not moving, she finally forced herself into motion and rushed in the direction the vampire had gone. Luckily, he had headed back in the direction of his crypt and she hoped to find him there.

She rushed towards the stone building and pushed the door open, breathing a sigh of relief as she spotted Spike. He was slumped in his armchair, his T-shirt held to his nose, his free hand resting on a bottle of whiskey to his side. He didn’t even look up as she came in, closing the door quietly behind her, and she bit her lip nervously.

“What do you want? Come to beat me some more?”

“No!” she ground out and then forced herself to calm down, “Look, I’m sorry. I really am. You’re not exactly making this easy for me though.”

“Oh, so it’s my fault you hit me?”

“I didn’t say that.”

He glanced at her and then shook his head, pulling his T-shirt away and throwing it to the side.

“Just bugger off, Slayer.”

Taking a calming breath, she moved forward and stood in front of him, forcing him to look at her.

“I’m sorry, Spike,” she said softly, “I shouldn’t have hit you. I broke my promise and I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine,” he mumbled.

“It’s really not,” she murmured, crouching down in front of him, her eyes going to the small patch of dried blood under his nose, “You need cleaning up.”


Before he had time to protest, she quickly got to her feet and found some cloth, which she dampened with a bottle of water from his refrigerator. Then she made her way back to him and crouched down in front of him, bringing the cloth to his face. She could feel his eyes on her but could not meet his gaze, too afraid of what she might see there.

She carefully cleaned the blood away and then sat back, her eyes on her hands.

“Buffy,” Spike murmured, his hand settling on her shoulder as he sat up a bit.

She forced herself to meet his gaze and was stunned by the tenderness she saw there- a tenderness she did not deserve.

“It’s okay, love,” he murmured, his hand stroking her shoulder gently, “Things just got a bit out of hand, yeah?”

“What’s wrong with me?” she sighed, twisting the dirty cloth together as her gaze fell to her hands again.

“There’s nothing wrong with you, love,” he whispered, hooking his finger under her chin and drawing her eyes to his, “Absolutely nothing, you hear me? You’ve just got a fiery temper.”

“I really don’t know why you’re so nice to me.”

“’Coz I’m in love with you, you silly girl. Can’t help myself.”

She raised her gaze to his again and gave him a tiny smile.

“I’m a horrible person.”

“No, you’re not. Look, love, I know you want to change, but it can’t just happen over night, trust me.”


She met his gaze and nodded slowly, thinking of his own change.

“Don’t you just want to give up sometimes?” she asked.

“Sometimes it was tempting, yeah. ‘Specially after you disinvited me from your house.”

“You did tie me up!” she exclaimed.

“I know,” he admitted with a tiny smile, “But it just made me wonder why I was even bothering, when I was never going to get any credit for it.”

She sighed, realising the truth of his words, and raised her hand hesitantly to his cheek, letting her fingers graze his cool skin.

“I’m sorry about that. Guess we didn’t really help you.”

“Not really. But I did it. And you can do it too.”

“You really think I’ve got it in me? I’m not sure I can be nice anymore…too much has happened.”

“Look, love,” he started, placing both hands on her shoulders, his blue eyes locked on hers, “I’ve never ever doubted your goodness for a minute. You’ve been through a lot…and it’s changed you…but you’re still you. You’re still good and kind and thoughtful.”

“And violent,” she added sadly.

“You’re the Slayer. It’s in your blood as much as it’s in mine. But sometimes you just have to ignore your blood.”

She smiled slightly and nodded, her gaze dropping to her hands and then meeting his once more.

“I am sorry.”

“I know, love. All forgotten. I know how hard it is to start over. Just a lapse, is all.”

She nodded and pushed herself to her feet.

“Thank you.”

“Anytime.”