Burning anger against all those who wronged him brewed deep inside of the furry beast standing above Angel and Giles. He sniffed Angel and scowled, then moved to breathe in a bit of Giles’ scent. A strange smile crossed his lips.

Anyanka close.

The massive fur creature stretched his clawed paws towards Giles, but thought better of it. Running out of the bar on his hoofed feet, Phil didn’t notice that his precious cargo had fallen out of the bag he had brought with him.



A few hours later, Angel woke up in a pulsing haze. He sobered up immediately when he saw what had fallen from Phil’s bag. He shook Giles’ shoulders and pointed in fear at the severed head sitting on the floor in front of them.

--

Xander shook his head disdainfully and stood up.

“Nope. Foundation’s cracked, Buffster. This house’ll go to hell in five years or less.”

Buffy smiled.

“Thanks…I guess since we’re on the Hellmouth, that isn’t much of a trek, but thanks. You know, you’re really good at this.”

“Yeah, honey,” Anya piped in, “You could make a lot of money in real estate. It is the new frontier, you know.”

“Yeah, well, I’ll think about it,” Xander said with a chuckle. “Let’s go on to the next house…it’s the only one we haven’t seen aside from the one with…memories.”

Buffy smiled and gripped Spike’s hand as she tried to ignore the lingering melancholy that came over her whenever she thought of Angel’s mansion. Spike stroked her hair with his free hand.

“Pet, the poncy bugger was never good enough for you. Soul or no soul.”

Buffy nodded.

“I know. I’m just glad that’s not our only option to move into…I don’t think I could handle that.”

“If it was pet, we’d be buying the shoddy house that’s crumbling into hell. Don’t care about the foundation if my Slayer’s happy.”

The group walked down the darkened streets with a few trivial conversations passing around. Buffy gasped when they stopped in front of a large, brown Tudor with bright white trimming. Similar smiles crept onto both Buffy and Spike’s faces, as they looked, appreciatively, at the home.

“This is it, in’t, pet?”

“Yup.”

“Don’t need to go in?”

“Nope. This is it.”

Xander grinned broadly at the two.

“Well, let’s go in anyhow.”

Always the master of breaking and entering, Spike popped yet another lock for the night, allowing them access to the spacious, but not overly massive home. The first floor held a series of brick-walled rooms, the largest with a giant fireplace. The second floor contained five bedrooms, the master bedroom containing a private bathroom with a massive Jacuzzi tub. Buffy smiled as she stared at the tub’s ecru finish.

“This is definitely it, Spike. I’m looking forward to soaking in here after a long night of slaying.”

“Or laying,” Spike whispered to her as he wrapped his arms around her waist.

Buffy rolled her eyes and swatted his hands away.

“So, who do we call to buy this place?”

Xander grabbed his cell phone from his pocket and wrote down a phone number on a scrap of paper before handing it to Buffy.

“Here. Her name is Millie. She’s like, 90 or something and just moved to Florida…she’s selling this so she can get a bigger condo or something down there. Her kids don’t want it…they never call her…she took care of them for 20 years, but noooo, they can’t bother to give her a call once a week.”

Xander coughed uncomfortably when he noticed the room full of strange looks he was receiving and shrugged.

“Be careful with her, she’ll talk your ear off.”

Smiling as she stuffed the paper into her pocket, Buffy grabbed Spike’s hand and led the group back outside.

--

Buffy yawned and stretched her arms out wide, making sure not to spill her coffee.

“So, it’s 9 o’clock in the morning, and there’s already evil afoot? When am I supposed to sleep? Someone should send out a memo.”

Giles frowned at her and patted Anya’s shoulder.

“Buffy, please. Now, Anya, you’re sure that there’s no one who would want this…Lotash fellow decapitated?”

Anya sniffled and shook her head.

“No! I mean, he could be a jerk, but for the most part, he was an okay guy. Hey! Maybe it’s just an accident? Like, he slipped or something?”

Giles sighed.

“Anya, we’ve been over this. His head was torn off, not cut, and it was in a rather large bag. How the devil would he even get his head in the bag if he did it himself?”

“It could have rolled!”

Spike laughed as he and Angel climbed up from the basement.

“Pet, there were large pig tracks all over the pub. I’d wager that our ManBearPig is corporeal now.”

Anta gasped and grabbed Willow’s arm, causing the half-asleep witch to wake with a start.

“Then Xander wasn’t lying! He isn’t as weak as a six-year-old schoolgirl!”

“Sure he is, love,” Spike said, “He’s just lucky he didn’t get his head ripped off too.”

Tearing his glasses off, Giles started to stutter.

“Y..yes, well, ah…Anya, do you think that this creature will come after you?”

“Well, I never saw exactly what happened, but I always heard that Loey was very mean to Phil…took out all his frustrations on it. And I know he never got over me…obviously it would be almost impossible for any man, but my Loey was a one-demon guy.”

“And this…Phil fellow, would no doubt, harbor some ill will towards you for causing him pain by proxy?”

“I guess.”

A low growl interrupted the Watcher’s train of thought, and the Scooby gang turned to the sound’s source. Fully the ManBearPig Xander described, Phil towered over the group, cracking his neck loudly before bolting at Anya, teeth bared.

“Annyaannnkaaa!!”

“Oh no you don’t, furball,” Buffy said with a smirk and a well-planted kick to the sternum.

Phil was sent crashing into a wall of herbs, breaking a few dozen jars. Anya sighed.

“You break it, you buy it!”

“Shut up, Anya,” Giles moaned.

Willow shut the door and blinds with a flick of her wrist, giving Spike and Angel the chance to join in the fight without the fear of being flambéed. Buffy jumped on Phil’s back, grabbing at his head to snap his neck, as Angel and Spike pummeled him mercilessly. Phil shrugged all of them off as he pressed a small knob on the talisman he wore. Beginning to grow larger, Phil’s already massive frame began to expand, and his head soon touched the ceiling. Buffy caught Willow’s gaze while everyone, including Phil, was transfixed on his growth spurt, and mouthed a single word before leaping at the beast’s neck. Willow nodded.

“Xrtha naminto har monlits!”

In a flash of purple light, Phil was gone, leaving in his wake a pile of rosebuds and a somewhat confused Buffy, grasping the talisman in her hand.

“I can’t believe that worked!”

Spike sauntered up to her and wrapped his arms around her waist.

“Now, Slayer, there’ll be no more world-saving feats for the next nine months. Savvy?”

“Savvy? What are you now, a pirate?”

“Oi! It’s a common phrase….”

“Maybe if you have scurvy.”

Spike frowned and tossed the talisman to Giles.

“Add this to the collection, Watcher. Me and the Mrs. are going home.”

“Home?”

“Yeah. Nice little place on Sunset. We’re not moved in yet, but we’ll pay the sodding bird for it later today, so it’s essentially ours. Come on love,” he said grabbing Buffy’s hand.

A small jingling noise announced Xander’s entrance to the shop, and he grinned.

“Hey gang! Whoa…what’d I miss?”

Anya walked to him and patted him on the shoulder.

“Nothing, sweetie. Now, go clean that glass up for me.”

“I’m on the job!”

Both suppressing a laugh, Buffy and Spike climbed into the sewer underneath the Magic Box and made the short trek to their new abode. When Spike stopped suddenly, Buffy turned to him.

“What’s wrong?”

“Buffy, pet, you…you really want this, right? Me and you…the whole shebang?”

Buffy scoffed.

“Shebang?”

“You know what I mean, love.”

“Spike, I love you. I loved you in Harmony, and I love you here. We’re having twins…we’re mated…seems a little late for me to be having second thoughts.”

Spike grinned and nodded as they continued toward their home.

“So where’d the witch send old Philly boy?”

A coy smile crossed Buffy’s lips as she and Spike climbed into their new basement.

“To someone who deserves a non-corporeal ManBearPig to haunt them forever.”

--