Mistakes
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She woke to the blare of her alarm clock and groaned as she remembered that she and Nina had volunteered to work this morning to try and get somewhere with the growing pile of applications. Her head protested as she moved and she prayed that Slayer metabolism would kick in before she got to work. At least there was only one witness to just how very unmixy Buffy and alcohol were- and she groaned again as she remembered her encounter with the vampire the night before.

Sighing, she pulled on the first clothes she could find and dragged herself downstairs, wiping her sleepy eyes as she went into the kitchen. Her stomach protested at the smell of cooking food and she frowned as she stepped into the kitchen and spotted Spike at the oven, frying eggs as Dawn perched at the counter watching him. He turned as soon as she entered the room and she quickly avoided his gaze as she went to the fridge.

“You’re working this morning?” Dawn asked.

“Yeah. Volunteered to do some extra. I’ll be back just after lunch.”

She took a hesitant mouthful of orange juice and grimaced as her stomach protested weakly.

“Want some breakfast, love?”

She met Spike's gaze briefly and shook her head.

“No, I’m fine. I’ll see you later, Dawnie,” she called, leaving the house swiftly.



She wasn’t feeling much better by the time she got to work and she slid into her chair with a groan. Nina turned up a few minutes later and smiled as she sat in her own chair. Buffy remained silent- more out of embarrassment over her reaction to Nina and Spike talking- and kept her head down as she worked. Some time later, a cup of coffee appeared in front of her and she raised her head to meet Nina’s smile.

“Time for a break.”

Buffy nodded and took the cup gratefully, taking a sip of the warm liquid. There was silence in the room for a few moments before Nina spoke up.

“Last night was fun.”

“Yeah,” Buffy answered uncertainly.

She was silent for a long moment, sipping at her coffee as she was bombarded with images of the numerous stupid things she had done last night.

“I’m jealous,” Nina spoke up with a sigh.

Buffy’s head snapped up to look at the other girl and she frowned in confusion.

“Huh?”

Nina turned to her and smiled slightly.

“You’re so lucky you’ve got a guy like Spike.”

“What? There is no ‘gotting’, we’re not-“

“I know. But he’s so hung up on you. I wish I had that with someone.”

Buffy frowned, watching the other girl intently as she raised her gaze to Buffy’s with a sheepish smile.

“You know, I think I tried every trick in the flirting handbook…and all he could talk about was you.”


For a long moment, Buffy was silent and then she met Nina’s gaze again with a sigh.

“You have no idea how much harder you’ve just made things.”

“Huh?” Nina questioned.

“I’m going to have to apologise to him now for acting like a complete idiot,” Buffy sighed.

“I’m sure you didn’t-“

“Oh no, I really did,” Buffy interrupted with a laugh, “I was totally drunk and…and jealous.”

“Of me?” Nina asked.

Blushing, Buffy nodded and bit her lip.

“I accused him of flirting with you and got all worked up about it…err, then I just made a fool of myself. Remind me never to drink ever ever again.”

“The way Spike seems to feel about you, I really don’t think he’d think badly of you.”

“Sometimes I really wish he would,” Buffy admitted with a laugh, “It would be so much easier to stay mad at him!”

Nina laughed and Buffy sank back in her chair, taking another sip of her drink.



“You’ve still got feelings for him,” Nina spoke up after another silence and Buffy nodded reluctantly, meeting the girl’s understanding look.

“I just can’t stop them. He’s just…”

“Hot as hell?” Nina prompted with a laugh.

“Well that doesn’t exactly help,” Buffy admitted with a smile, “But it’s not just that…He gets me, you know?”

Nina sighed wistfully and nodded.

“So why don’t you make a move?”

“Already did that. Bad bad plan. Buffy and alcohol really don’t mix.”

“What happened?”

“Shot me down. Said he wanted me sober,” she explained, her chin resting on her hand dejectedly.

“Well this is good.”

“Maybe,” Buffy sighed, running a hand through her hair, “God, I really hope he’s not there when I get home.”

“You think he might be?”

“Well he was there this morning…making breakfast…and I totally blew him off.”

Nina laughed and Buffy raised her eyes to her in surprise.

“Sorry. It’s just…you two just seem to get everything backwards.”

“Tell me about it,” Buffy moaned, finally placing her cup down and turning back to her work.


Much to her relief, Spike was nowhere to be seen when she got home and she was able to delay her embarrassment for a few hours- at least until her nightly patrol. As she set out on her patrol, she decided it was probably best to get it over and done with and her feet led her unerringly to the vampire’s crypt. She knocked at the door timidly and pushed it open slowly, going in and stopping awkwardly by the door. The vampire looked up as she came in and his eyes widened in surprise.

“Hi,” she got out weakly.

“Buffy, what brings you round here?” he asked almost tiredly.

“I came to apologise.”

His gaze snapped back to hers, his eyes wide with surprise.

“I wanted to say sorry for the way I acted last night.”

“Yeah?” he asked, watching her intently now.

“Yeah. I…well, I was an idiot. I’d like to blame the alcohol but, well…I’m sure part of it was just me.”

He smiled softly and beckoned her closer, gesturing to the space beside him on the sofa. Something held her back though and she shook her head.

“I have to patrol.”


She saw his expression change instantly, even though he quickly covered it with an air of disinterestedness. She remembered then his words of last night: 'If that’s true, you’ll still want this tomorrow.'

Oh God, did he think her apology was her way of showing that? She simply had not thought beyond apologising for her ridiculous behaviour- certainly hadn’t thought of the consequences- and now she regretted that. She did have feelings for Spike, as she had admitted to Nina, but she was still hesitant- as she had told Dawn. She was still wary of ruining their tentative friendship and now she realised she might almost have brought that on with her thoughtlessness.

“Spike,” she spoke up, taking a step towards him.

He rose to his feet though, halting her.

“Let’s patrol.”

“Spike, I-“

“Leave it,” he got out, then his eyes met hers, softening, “Please.”

She could only nod, watching him mindlessly as he pulled on his duster roughly and made his way to the door, nodding for her to precede him.