AUTHOR'S NOTE: Allusions to the episode "The Dark Age" are in this chapter. Enjoy! :)
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DECEMBER 23, 2027- 3:00 AM NEW ENGLAND-

It had been hours, and he wasn’t even certain the witch could do it, but he was desperate. Oscar did not know if he would survive if the bond were completely severed, and so he had begged with her, pleaded, if the amulet was broken, and there was no other way to keep him…

William had protested. There was still so much fire in him, to the last.

But, he could not deny her. And now…

Had he spoken? It was barely a whisper, but…He looked at Elisabeth. It seemed she hadn’t heard it, but the name sounded heavy in his ears. Would William waste precious breath to speak a name that was not important to him?

Oscar found himself pulled away from the window, and drifting to the bedside once more, by the power that name seemed to hold.

The movement jarred her away from the solace the snow gave her, and made her focus on the reality she did not want to face, “What is it?” Buffy asked, as she watched Oscar move to the head of the bed and watched a strange sort of pall fall upon him. He looked as though he might be sick to his stomach. She looked at Spike, and she felt sick too, looking at what she’d done to him.

She saw no change. But then, that wasn’t good news. It wasn’t anything. He was still…slipping away, becoming the corpse she never saw him as, despite what she’d tried to tell herself, and everyone around her, years ago.

She could see it, and she smelled the decay in the room. Yes. He was a corpse.

The question was, why now? Was this her fault?

He hadn’t eaten in weeks, even the sight of blood made him physically ill, violently so, and no one could understand why. Dawn, and the blue Amazon that Spike had met during his year at Wolfram and Hart, was working day and night to find an answer. Even Giles was doing what he could to help, and that surprised her, though it shouldn’t have.

They’d made their peace and forgiven each other. The years of watching how Spike raised, and loved, Joni, had finally overcome the rancor and prejudice that Angel had placed in his mind and heart.

It was that way with all her friends. They seemed to be almost bending over backwards to apologize and make things right. She just hoped it wasn’t already too late.

Dawn said what was happening to Spike now had something to do with the amulet he’d worn when the Hellmouth in Sunnydale was destroyed. The amulet she’d given to him. The amulet she’d just destroyed, because she had been caught up in Joni’s hope.

Yes, Joni had hope. She had a great deal of that, and that was good. But, she was a child; she was supposed to have an unlimited supply of that.

But, Buffy knew better. She was her mother. She was supposed to be the grown up.

* I was so stupid! *

* This is my fault. *

He was paying for what she’d done. His voice rang in her head. Was it only a few days ago…? * “It had to be paid for, Buffy. The magic…the spell that freed you, let you be a girl, and Jonina’s mum, it had to be paid for. If this is the price, then I’ll pay it. No regrets.” *

Even though they’d been married for years, and he’d changed more than she thought was possible, she still marveled at him and at how much he loved her.

Oscar was looking at her with wild, anxious eyes. What little color there was in his face was draining quickly away. That sight was enough to make her come closer to the bed.

Closer, so that she could see, in vivid detail, what she had done to him, “What?” she asked in a whisper. She did not want to see him like this, so fragile, “What’s wrong?”

“Is there someone…someone important to him, by the name of ‘Joyce’?”

“That’s my mother’s name,” Buffy said softly, her eyes downcast. She did not want to trust a stranger, vampire or not, Spike’s last hope or not, with this information, but she had to, “She died. Years ago.”

Oscar’s breath shuddered, “I see.” He felt a wave of guilt come over him; he had never experienced something this strong before. He hated to cause her more pain. The loss of her mother had obviously left a great hole within her, a wound that William had tried to mend, but could not, “Did he…?” the question caused him distress, but it had to be asked.

“No!” Elizabeth breathed, her green eyes flashing like absinthe as she faced him, “And, if you believe that, you can leave my house. Now! I’ll have Willow lock the door behind you.”

“No, Elisabeth,” Oscar could feel his voice failing him. The bond was tearing, and he couldn’t stop it, the idea of being left alone again… “Please don’t,” he begged, “Buffy, please…”

The shimmer of hate in her eyes suddenly became a darkened pool of hope, and her eyes reached into his, as though she would pull the very essence of his being from him, and make it something new. Something that was truly hers, “Buffy?” she asked, her voice trembling, “Are you telling me that the spell worked? Is he with you, really?”

Oscar nodded, “I think so,” he said, tapping his temple with his index finger, “He’s here. And, he loves you very much.”

Her eyes fell onto the still form, the shell, which lay on the bed. No wonder the smell of decay had been so strong.

He wasn’t there anymore. It was empty.

“Is it…?” Buffy whispered in disbelief, “…What happens now?” she asked him.

“Why don’t we ask Angelus?” Oscar said, his voice a low and deadly, and eerily familiar purr; so familiar, that Buffy had to remind herself of what Willow had told her. That this was only temporary, until they could find the amulet.

The amulet she had destroyed.
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DECEMBER 22, 2005- LOS ANGELES-

Joni looked up at her parents and smiled, “It’s okay, Daddy, all we have to do is find the angel. I remember now. And Mommy should too! It should be easy to find Rabbit, once we find the angel because he knows where Rabbit is hiding,” she said, while tugging impatiently at her father’s pant leg, “You remember how to play hide and seek, don’t you, Daddy?”

Spike closed his eyes a little tighter, and pulled Buffy to him, holding her still tighter. He wanted to keep them close, take them in so that they were a part of him. If he could, he would swallow Joni’s playful, hopeful little voice, take every word and keep it with him so that he would have a part of her when he forgot her face, and who she was to him, forgot everything but the beast.

Because, he knew that soon, he would forget.

But, that time was not now, so he pulled away from Buffy, turned and looked down at her hopeful face. He smiled at her, and grumbled playfully, “Now, just what are you going on about, Slayer?”

“My name is Joni,” she pouted, “Don’t be silly, Daddy.”

The pout, and the way she tilted her head, made Spike smile even more as he knelt. She’s definitely a Summers, “Right. Joni. What were you saying?”

“Hide and seek, Daddy. It’s easy. Mommy remembers, I know she does,” Joni looked at her mother, who had turned to face her, and was kneeling beside Spike.

“I do?” Buffy asked.

“Yep,” Joni nodded, “Remember, the angel helped with the calendar? And the angel made the monster fight, and go out? We need to do that again. We need to find Spike Rabbit.”

Buffy shook her head in confusion, “Honey,” she sighed, “we’ll find your toy. But, right now…”

Joni huffed again, and stomped her foot, “No, Mommy, I’m not playing! We need to find Spike!”

“But, Baby, we can’t…” Buffy started, trying to calm, and understand, her frustrated child.

“Spike Rabbit’s not here, where is he?” Joni asked.

Spike could see that both the people he loved were distressed, and he would not have that. There was just too much to lose here; so much he did not want to lose. If Joni thought she knew a way out, if she thought there was a chance, he was going to take it. He didn’t care how small it was, or who and where it came from, to keep his family, he would take the chance.

“Dove,” he said softly, looking into her eyes, “This is no time for play…”

“I’m not playing,” Joni insisted, her voice sure, her eyes steady on her father’s face.

“This is important,” Spike said.

“I know that,” Joni whispered. She felt like crying. She didn’t know how she knew, but she did. She knew that, if she didn’t get this right, her Papa would be lost, and her baby sister would never get here. She looked at her mother again and said, “Mommy, please…why are these things in my head?” she asked, touching her forehead as if it hurt, and wincing a little.

“What things, Sweetheart?”

“Things you did, Mommy. Don’t you remember?”

“Things I did…?”

Spike could see that Jonina was on the verge of tears, and try as he might, he could not remember why he was so angry, suddenly.

There was this sudden hatred, mixed with hope and despair, for a witch he did not know, and could not remember.

“…I know!” Buffy exclaimed, “ I do know!” she jumped up, excitedly, and ran toward the telephone, “We have to find Willow!”