Chapter Nineteen

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“Yesterday was so great!” Willow gushed as she settled opposite Buffy on the large, comfortable sofa. They were meeting for lunch and had headed for the Espresso Pump for coffee and girly chat.

"Tara was really happy,” the witch added.

“I’m glad. She deserves it anyway.”

Willow nodded in agreement and Buffy smiled, taking a sip of her coffee.

“Not that I didn’t have ulterior motives for wanting everything to go well,” she added with a smile.

“Well, I think your vampire impressed everyone yesterday!”

“I’m glad,” Buffy answered with a laugh, “I was so worried he’d be, you know, Spike and Giles would be totally mad.”

The witch giggled and Buffy smiled, thinking back on her Watcher’s delicately encouraging words with a smile. She then turned to her friend.

“Did Spike really help you get Tara’s present?”

“Yeah. I was talking to Dawnie about how I really wanted to get this book but I couldn’t find it, and then Spike said he had ‘contacts’.”

Buffy giggled, imagining the vampire saying those exact words.

“And then he got it for me, at like half the usual asking price. It was amazing!”

Buffy smiled and leant back on the sofa, taking a sip of her drink. Yet another point for the vampire.



She was musing when Willow spoke up again.

“So, is it true that you...I mean, you and Spike...that you- I get that you maybe don’t want to say but- I mean-“

“Willow,” she interrupted with a smile, “Sentences, please. And with breathing.”

Willow blushed and smiled, before taking a deep breath and watching Buffy intently.

“Well, is it true that you’re not, you know, sleeping together?”

The last was whispered with a nervous glance around the busy coffee shop and Buffy almost would have laughed - if not for the fact that she was amazed that her friend had brought it up.

“Excuse me?!”

“I mean...it’s not true, right? ‘Coz you guys...major sexual tension!”

“Maybe it’s all unresolved,” Buffy suggested with a smile, turning to her friend and leaning in, “Who told you that anyway?!”

“Well, Xander...he said that Giles-“

“Oh my God! Giles is gossiping about my sex life!”

“Well, I think it was to try and, you know, pacify Xander.”

“I swear I’m going to beat him over the head,” Buffy exclaimed, burying her head in her hands, “That’ll pacify him.”

Willow laughed and she threw her friend a reluctant smile.



“So, you’re really not...”

“Really not,” Buffy answered honestly, “What kind of girl do you think I am?”

“Oh, I didn’t – I mean...I-“

“Wills,” she interrupted, laying a hand on her friend’s arm to stop the flow and smiling, “Joking.”

“Oh, well...I mean it’d be okay if you...”

“Thanks. I think we’re...well, we’re kinda circling second base at the moment,” she admitted with a wry smile.

“Really? I kinda figured you guys for the hot and heavy kind...no offence.”

“None taken,” Buffy answered with a laugh, “Trust me, there’s plenty of hot and heavy. I just...”

She trailed off with a sigh and settled more comfortably on the sofa, smiling at Willow’s open, attentive look.

“I just don’t think I’m ready to go there with Spike yet. I just...I guess Buffy the mighty Slayer is scared.”

“Scared?”

She nodded and sighed once more.

“It’s his own fault you know!” she commented with a smile.

Willow looked confused and she continued.



“Well, you remember when he had the Gem of Amarra and we fought?”

“Ya-huh.”

“Well, half of the fight was actually insulting each other...in that way we used to do,” she reminisced with a slight smile, “But anyway, he knew about Parker, somehow, and he totally threw it in my face. Along with the whole Angel mess...”

“And now karma is coming back to bite him on the ass,” Willow finished sagely, a smile twitching her lips.

“Exactly. I mean, I don’t really think he’d be at all like Parker, you know, if we did... But still... scared.”

Willow smiled and reached out to take her hand.

“He totally adores you, you know. It’s really obvious in everything he does. I don’t think you have to worry about Spike ever going evil on you. You’ve got that vampire totally under the thumb!”

They both laughed and Buffy nodded in agreement.

“What can I say?! It’s just too easy.”

They laughed again and fell back against the sofa cushions. They were silent for a moment as they composed themselves and then Willow spoke up again.

“Do you love him?”



She had thought for a moment and had given Willow a little shrug and a nervous smile and told her that she didn’t know. But now, wrapped up in his arms on his bed, she wasn’t so sure. But then, when had she ever been sure about anything to do with Spike? She sighed and sank her head against his chest, enjoying the soft brush of his fingers over her hair and shoulders. He let out a contented sigh and pressed a kiss to her hair and she smiled, leaning into his touch. There was definitely something to be said for unconditional devotion.

“You’re quiet tonight,” he murmured, brushing a hand over her hair.

“Doing that savouring thing,” she answered, her voice muffled against his chest.

She felt more than heard his chuckle and raised her head to meet his bright eyes.

“S’bout time you got back, I guess.”

She paused for a moment and then spoke, twisting her fingers in his shirt.

“I was thinking about staying here tonight actually,” she answered shyly, avoiding his gaze, “I mean, if that’s okay with you.”

He caught her chin and guided her eyes to his.

“You seriously think I might say no?” he asked, a smile twitching at his lips.

She shrugged embarrassedly and he laughed, drawing her against him and hugging her tightly as he pressed a kiss to her forehead.

“My sweet, darling Slayer,” he murmured against her skin, “Of course you can stay here.”



There was a somewhat awkward moment as she changed into a spare T-shirt of his and joined him in the large bed, but as soon as he drew her into his arms, it felt normal again. She soon relaxed and curled up against him, her head resting in the curve of his shoulder. She couldn’t believe it had taken a month to get to this point – yet another facet of her imposed distance - and laughed a little at herself for being so silly.

“I can’t believe you thought I wouldn’t want you here, you silly girl,” the vampire teased and she moaned, burying her head against him.

“I know, silly Buffy.”

“But very lovely Buffy,” he murmured, his hands running over her arms as he began to press kisses to her temples and gradually worked his way - guiding her head upwards - to her cheeks and her eyes and her nose and finally finding her lips. She let out a little sigh as his lips brushed over hers achingly softly before moving to her jaw and then to her neck.

“I hope you don’t think I’m staying for anything other than sleep,” she whispered with a smile, even as her neck arched with his kiss.

“Why do you think I’ve still got my jeans on?” he murmured against her skin, “Don’t trust myself in my usual pyjamas.”

She laughed and looped her arms around his neck, rolling onto her back and drawing him with her so he was propped above her.

“Glad we’re clear on that then,” she murmured with a smile, before pulling his mouth down to hers.