The Moment Of Truth


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Luckily for the Slayers who had caught him, most of his anger had dissipated during the last two hours of his six hour journey and so he had surrendered without a fight. Now, when he looked at Buffy - who looked for all the world like a cornered animal - it disappeared completely and he was inclined to go with his first instinct on the reasons for her fleeing. He wasn’t going to make it easy for her though.

He leant back against the wall, at ease now without twenty crossbows pointed at him, and crossed his legs, thumbs hooked in his belt loops.

“You know,” he started, “I was starting to forget what it felt like…”

Her head snapped up, red-rimmed eyes fixed on his. She looked even worse than she had yesterday and he softened a little as he watched her tense, waiting for him to continue.

“Being used by you, that is,” he finished, “S’been a while.”

Her mouth fell open, ready to protest, but something halted her and she dropped her eyes from his.

“Stings a bit more, with the soul,” he continued, hoping to goad some sort of reply out of her, “But I just wanted to know…”

She raised her eyes again and he continued, eyes holding hers.

“What was the reason this time? Were you feeling bad about The Immortal?” he asked, “Or maybe it was being around Peaches but not being able to do anything about it? Decided to find the next best vampire?”

“How dare you!” she burst out, eyes flashing with brief anger before she turned her back on him, arms wrapped around herself tightly.

Well, at least he’d got a reaction out of her.



“How dare I?!” he retorted, on a roll now, “You know how I feel about you and you still treat me like something you scraped off your shoe. Not good enough to stay with when the sun comes up and you realise what you’ve done.”

“You don’t know what it was like!” she answered angrily, still refusing to look at him.

“Why don’t you tell me then, Buffy? I thought maybe I might be more to you than a quick tumble but I guess I was wrong.”

He could practically see her seething but she made no answer.

“Just like old times, eh? Here’s me, loving you with everything I’ve got, and there’s you, not giving two figs about it.”

He heard her gasp and then she turned to him, eyes shining with tears and lit up with anger.

“Oh, yeah, you really showed how much you loved me when you forgot to mention that you were back from the dead!” she almost screeched at him, her voice thick with emotion.

And that stunned him into silence. He studied her for a long moment but she refused to meet his gaze.

“Is that what you thought, Buffy?” he asked quietly, “You thought I didn’t tell you because I didn’t love you?”

She turned her back on him again and was silent for a long pause, before he heard her quiet voice.

“What was I supposed to think, Spike?” she asked tiredly.

And now he truly was stunned. Is this why she had been so off with him? Because she thought his love had been buried with him in the Hellmouth? It would certainly explain her strange behaviour… partly.

“Used to be you didn’t care too much if I loved you or not. In fact, you preferred it not.”



He saw her tense at his words and watched her carefully, trying desperately to read her.

“People change, Spike.”

“Not me though, you should know that by now.”

She gave a choked laugh and he realised then that she was fighting tears. Feeling his triumph within his grasp, he took a step towards her and continued in a low voice.

“’Specially not when it comes to love. And even more so when it comes to you, Slayer. Should know that death doesn’t change the way I feel about you. Whether its yours or mine.”

She was almost rigid now, trembling slightly as he took another cautious step forward.

“Love you just as much now as I did two, three years ago. Popped out of that amulet and you were the first thing I thought of. ‘Course, being a ghost made it a bit hard to get in contact.”

He heard a distinct sniffle and continued to press his advantage.

“Then got my body back and, yeah, got a bit sidetracked… then before I know it I’m in Rome, watching you dance with that wanker. Didn’t exactly prompt a reunion.”

“Spike,” she got out and he paused, “Shut up.”

He froze and frowned, watching her back.

“’Scuse me?” he got out, slightly put out.

She turned to him then, eyes swimming with tears, lip trembling as she looked up at him.

“Just stop talking and kiss me already.”



He didn’t need to be asked twice and in two strides, he was in front of her, dragging her into his embrace and kissing her hungrily. He felt her sob against his mouth and her arms twined around him tightly, clinging to him. He pulled back though slightly, raising one hand to brush the tears from her cheeks.

“Got plenty of tears for me lately, sweetheart.”

She bit back a sob and nodded, watery eyes rising to his. He stroked his hand now over her hair, hardly able to believe it as she leaned into his touch.

“Oh, my sweet girl. How could you think I would ever stop loving you?” he murmured, his heart ready to burst with all the love he had carried for this woman.

Before she could make any reply, he kissed her again, drawing her close. And there was his Buffy, little hands in an iron grip around his arms, reaching up on tiptoes to press herself against him, kissing him back urgently. This time, it was she who pulled back, the tears still ever present as she focussed her bright eyes on him.

“You have to know… I-I meant what I said down in the Hellmouth,” she choked out, “I love you. And please don’t say you don’t believe me again… because I don’t think I-“

He cut her off by placing a finger over her lips.

“I believe you, sweetheart. Wanted to believed you back then too, but had to get you out of there, didn’t I?”

For a brief second, he saw anger flash across her face and he braced himself, expecting her punch. Instead though, she threw herself against him once more, burying her head in his shoulder and wrapping her arms around him tightly. He wound his arms around her and rested his mouth against her hair with a tiny smile.

“I love you,” she murmured tearfully, hugging him almost painfully tightly, “And I never… I never wanted to hurt you. I just wanted to be with you… but I thought you didn’t care, so I-”

“Shhh,” he soothed, running a hand over her soft hair and drawing her tighter against him as he pressed a kiss to the top of her head, “It doesn’t matter. I’m here, aren’t I?”



They stood wrapped up in each other’s arms for a long few minutes, until finally he heard her tears come to a halt and she raised a hand to brush over her cheeks. He drew back and stroked his fingers over her cheek.

“I love you, Buffy Summers,” he pronounced, holding her gaze with his own, “And don’t you ever think otherwise.”

She nodded and he smiled ever so slightly, brushing a hand through her hair.

“Come back to LA with me?” he whispered, tilting her chin so he could meet her eyes better.

“I… I don’t know. I mean, Dawn’s in Rome and…”

“Get her to come here.”

She was silent for a moment but then she gave him a weak smile.

“I don’t think Angel would like that very much.”

“Don’t care,” he answered boldly, “I’ll get my own place. Just for the three of us. Hate staying in that place anyway.”

She was silent again and he hoped he hadn’t gone and gotten too over-eager and scared her off. When she wrapped her arms around him again and rested her head against his shoulder though, he breathed a sigh of relief.

“I’m just glad you’re back,” she whispered, “We’ll sort all that later. I just want to enjoy the fact that you’re here.”

“Thought you did the enjoying last night,” he murmured and he could practically hear the blood rush to her cheeks. She raised wide pained eyes to his then, one hand twisted in the sleeve of his coat.

“It wasn’t just about the… the sex, you know,” she whispered awkwardly.

“No?”

“No. I wanted to be with you. I wanted to remember what it felt like.”

He smiled and brushed a hand over her hair once again.

“Won’t let you ever forget again.”

She blushed even deeper but smiled and tilted her head up, hazel eyes watching him as he studied her for a moment, and then finally dipped his head and caught her lips in his.