Not Beneath Me - Chapter 10 (More Like A Family)
By Tasha

Chapter Summary: Buffy asked Spike to spend the night in her Mom's room while Joyce is waiting for surgery. Dawn now knows that she is the key, and her relationship with Buffy and Spike has not suffered because of it. The Summers' house is quiet now, but their thoughts are not. How will Joyce's surgery go? Will Giles believe Spike's disturbing news about Riley? Will Xander and Spike fight at the Bronze or work together?

***Warning: This chapter begins the R portion of the story. It includes semi graphic depictions of past sexual encounters. The next chapter will definitely be of an NC-17 rating***

Author's Note: Some quotes in this chapter are direct from the episode "Listening to Fear". (Tasha is now writing all of the chapters, solely. This story was adopted with the permission of Miss Kitty. Disclaimer and Distribution notes are listed in the Prologue of this story. Thank you ahead of time for reading and accepting or abiding by them.)

'Single' quote marks surround thoughts in this story. "Regular" quotes are around spoken words.

---

Hands clasped behind his head, Spike stared up at the ceiling. Nighttime wasn't the most natural part of the day for him to sleep. His thoughts jumped from one memory to another about the last few days.

Spike himself was different from many vampires and yet the same. Vampires were comprised of part demon, part humanity, and a little soul. Usually the demon part controlled all the actions and thoughts of the vampires. Vampires weren't known to retain many of their human or soulful qualities, which resulted in their lack of guilt, and atrocities that they loved.

For Spike, he'd never lost all of his soul nor the majority of his emotions. Of course the demon, after being punished and molded by Angelus, had more control over his human self for well over a century now. Even still, all of William was not gone from him. Spike could love, and he usually loved with all of his unbeating heart.

What few seemed to realize was the kind of control that he had regained over his demon side in the last few years. Although Spike cursed the chip with each unneeded breath, it had allowed him an excuse to let more of his emotions and kindness resurface. The demon would always just chalk it up to the chip making him soft. In reality the chip did nothing to his emotions or desires. It only stopped him from harming humans.

Over the last couple of years the fights between the demon and his humanity were fierce and constant. Sometimes his mind would listen to one's ideas and sometimes the other's. It was only when the two parts of his being could agree on something that the whole Spike finally found some peace.

There was one thing that all of him realized. All of him loved Buffy. Of course each part had its different reasons or signs of love, but they were there. William, his human side, was the romantic at heart. He was passion with subtlety and romance tempered with propriety. Spike, as the demon side usually called himself, was passion with fire, lust and bite. His romance was full of twisted bodies writhing in the pleasures during groping sex and claiming.

It was both of these sides of him that Spike Jamison, the combination of both parts, were now fighting on just what to do next. They both wanted Buffy and loved the Nibblet and Joyce, but their ways of wooing the girls were as different as night and day.

'Who knew that it would take just a little tongue to get into the Slayer's bedroom?' The inner Spike demon grinned at the thought. Boy did that demon loved to pull strings. 'Told ya I could get her going.'

'What a rude and crude assumption you impertinent buffoon.' William chastised Spike. 'Besides we are in her mother's bedroom. I don't think we'd endear ourselves to Buffy by getting all happy about sleeping in her mother's bed.'

Spike laughed inwardly. 'You really are a fool, William. Joyce is a right hot looking lady.'

'Watch your tongue you ruffian.' William mentally slapped Spike upside the head. 'If you ever want to make it to Miss Buffy's bedroom you need to keep those thoughts in check. Besides I have a feeling that Watcher would stake you in an instant for even thinking that about Mrs. Summers.'

'Come off your high horse you poncy Mama's Boy. What would you know about getting into any woman's bedroom?' The inner demon taunted William. 'I don't remember getting laid as a part of your human days.'

William huffed. If he had a physical form he would've had his glassed removed and be cleaning them rapidly. 'There is more to being intimate with a woman than a ... What do they call it nowadays? Oh yes, "Wham, Bam, Thank you, Ma'am".'

'You don't know what you're missing, you stupid git.' Spike laid back in Spike's whole mind, relaxed as he thought of a few good shags from the past. 'The feel of a warm woman surrounding your cock makes you burn from within and without. The softness of her breasts pressing against your hard chest makes your skin tingle.'

'Oh dear Lord.' If William could have blushed he would be beet red from Spike's words. 'That's enough. I was with you during all those encounters you know.'

Spike delighted in his other half's nervous twittering. 'Then you remember the feel of those inner muscles clutching and milking us as a woman cums from our pounding her? The way a woman's breath hitches at the first feel of our fangs in her skin, suckling and drawing her life's blood from her body?'

"Bloody hell." Spike Jamison panted at the warring thoughts in his brain. He beat his head back into the pillow to try and make himself more comfortable. His hands stroked down his body to find his rigid shaft saluting the ceiling. "I'm going to die. I swear I'm going to dust if I can't get this bad boy down." He groaned.

'Now see what you've done.' William waggled an imaginary finger at the demon. 'There is no way we are "whacking off" in Mrs. Summer's bed. That is just not proper.'

'Aw, you're no fun, Willie. It would probably be more action than this bed has seen in a hell of a long time.'

William started sending thoughts of Angelus and Dru together in the mansion, memories of being in the wheelchair, and memories of holy water burning his skin. 'I let you get away with a lot, Spike, but not this.' He knew the thoughts would tick off the demon as well as help him deflate the erection. 'I draw the line.'

'Nancy boy.' Spike grumbled. He wasn't going to fight too hard because he really didn't want to get off from the feel of his hand anyways. He'd much rather be sliding into the warmth of Buffy's inner sanctum, joining with her in mind, body and spirit to claim her fully.

Spike sighed to himself. His raging hard on retreated enough that he could turn over and bury his face in the pillow. "I should have known that I couldn't be this close to her without wanting her even more." He muttered into the pillow.

A faint rapping sounded throughout the room. Spike perked his head up halfway. "Who is it?"

"It's me, Dawn." The voice replied softly. "May I come in?"

"Sure, Nibblet." Spike propped himself up on his side, resting his head in his hand to see what Dawn needed.

Dawn hugged her fanged teddy bear fiercely. She walked over to the bed and sat on the side edge of it. "I'm scared, Spike."

Spike scooted closer to Dawn thankful that he'd kept his jeans on. He sat up straight exposing his bare chest. He pulled the covers back to sit directly next to Dawn. "There's a lot going on now to be scared about, Little Bit."

Dawn gazed up at Spike doe eyed with tears starting in her eyes. He buried her face in Spike's chest. She clutched to him like a lifeline. Everything was overwhelming her now: her key status, her mother's illness, and feeling so scared of it all.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy spent the last couple hours tossing and turning in bed. She couldn't get her mind off Spike. He was just down the hall, and yet he felt he was miles away. Earlier in the night she'd felt so aroused by his touch on her hand. She thought that she would cum right there in a quivering puddle. As more luscious thoughts raced through her head again, she tore off the covers. "Enough of this."

Buffy stormed across the room to her door. She pulled the door open a crack. Just as she was about to step into the hallway the door to Dawn's room opened. She watched the young brunette creep into the hallway and knock on the door to their mom's bedroom lightly.

Buffy heard a muffled voice ask who it was, and after a response from Dawn she walked in. "What in the world is Dawn doing sneaking into Spike's room in the middle of the night?"

Buffy creeped down the hall to her mother's door. She felt like such a peeping Buffy when she placed her ear against the door to try to hear what was going on.

"Oh Spike!" Dawn's voice whimpered behind the door. "I don't think I can do this."

'Do what?' Buffy held her breath. 'Please don't make me have to kill another man I love.' With that thought she jerked straight. 'Whoa, man I love? Uh oh.'

"But it's just too hard, Spike." Dawn sighed from inside Spike's room. "I'll never be able to handle it all by myself."

"No one can, Nibblet." Spike cooed soothingly. "Everyone would need help with it."

'Oh my gosh!' Buffy thought. 'Is he seducing my sister? I will so stake him if he is.' She was just about to barge in with fists blazing when she heard Dawn speak again.

"Yeah well anyone else that wants to be the key can, and they can deal with it all. I don't know what to think about any of it anymore."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike looked up at the closed door. He heard Buffy's heart start beating faster and then slow down. 'What is she doing? It sounds like she's right at the door.' He inhaled deeply, drinking in her scent. 'Yep, she's at the door. I wonder what she is up to.' He paid attention to every word Dawn was saying, but at the back of his mind he was worried about Buffy too.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy visibly relaxed against the door. 'I have got to get my mind out of the gutter. Spike loves Dawn like a sister, not a lover.' She shook her head at her own silliness that she thought otherwise. 'We don't have a father figure or even a brother for her to look up to. Spike has been that for ... well those monks put it in our brains that he's always been like that with her.'

Buffy tilted her head to the side as she thought. 'Though I know that he's treated her well the last few weeks that weren't induced memories too. Even after learning she was the key, he swore to protect and care for her. He truly loves her like a sister.' With that thought in mind, she placed her hand on the doorknob and turned it.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Dawn and Spike looked up from their place on Joyce's bed. "Hello Buffy. I didn't wake you up, did I?" Dawn clutched her fanged teddy bear tight to her chest.

"No, Dawn." Buffy smiled at Spike. She ran her fingers through Dawn's hair soothingly when she neared the two of them. "I wasn't really sleeping very well either. I stepped into the hall just as you came in here." She looked back at the door nervously. "I didn't want to interrupt anything. So, I waited outside for a few moments."

Spike quirked a scarred eyebrow at Buffy. From the blush in her cheeks he knew there was a little bit more to her reasoning than that. "We were just having a chat, weren't we Bit?"

"Yep, just a chat." Dawn petted the teddy bear.

"I thought I could try to talk her into laying down for a bit more. Care to join us?" Spike's gaze locked with Buffy's. As soon as he realized how that might have sounded he tried to correct himself. "Safety in numbers, and all that rot."

Buffy laughed. She crawled onto the bed on the other side of Spike. Spike centered himself in the bed. He wrapped an arm around each one of the Summers' girls. He hugged them closer to his body and each of them rested their heads on his shoulders and a hand on his chest.

The three of them finally found some peace in the night with different thoughts as their last for the day.

'Heaven. I swear this is as close to heaven as I'll ever get.' Spike purred at the thought. How did he tell this woman that he loved her for all that she was or could be: woman, warrior, friend, lover, mate, or wife?

Dawn exhaled softly onto Spike's shoulder. 'Never fear. The Big Bad is here.' She inwardly chuckled at an old tease that Spike used to taunt her with. No matter how he played himself off as evil those days, she knew he had a good heart (unbeating or not).

'I never thought I could feel so relaxed in someone's arms.' Buffy reflected back on how she always felt swallowed up in Angel's and Riley's embraces. They seemed to squish her or be forcing dominance on her even when sleeping. This felt right, being in his arms. 'I know this is where I belong. I need him more than I've needed anyone before.' That thought scared her. She was never someone that wanted to need another person, but she was soothed at the thought of Spike taking care of her. For some reason it didn't seem scary at all. It truly felt meant to be.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

The blaring sound of a phone ringing pounded through Spike's head. 'Someone answer the damn phone.' He growled. Another couple rings forced him to twist in the bed to reach for the cordless phone on the nightstand.

Giles tapped the wall at a pay phone on the other side of the phone line. 'Come on, Buffy. Answer the phone.' He thought worriedly. 'I knew I shouldn't have let them go home with Spike. If he's hurt them, I'll stake him. Chip or no chip.'

"The world had better be bloody ending." Spike snarled in the phone when he answered it.

Giles sighed with relief despite the curt tone in the vampire's voice. He didn't want to believe that Spike would hurt the girls, but experience dictated that he needed to ere on the side of caution in these cases. He'd learned his lesson the hard way with Angelus. "Spike?"

"Yeah, Watcher. It's me." Spike rubbed his eyes. Buffy stirred next to him on the bed. Her heart rate increased, and he knew that she'd wake up soon. "No other man had better be answering the bloody phone here at this hour."

"This hour?" Giles looked down at the watch on his wrist. "It's two in the afternoon, Spike." He rolled his eyes.

Spike sat up, hitting his head on the headboard of the bed. "Bloody Hell!" His cursing awoke Buffy fully. Dawn also stirred out of slumber.

"Spike, what in heaven's name are you doing?" Giles held the phone away from his ear. The loud cursing added to the growing headache he'd procured over the last few days.

Buffy took the phone from the grumbling vampire. "Hello?" She asked tentatively.

"Buffy?" Giles removed his glasses quickly. If Spike was sleeping, how had Buffy taken the phone from him so quickly? Did he even want to think about the possible reasons for that?

"Giles?" The last vestiges of Buffy's sleep were wiped away the moment she realized that Giles was the one on the phone. "Is Mom all right? Please tell me that nothing more has happened."

Dawn jerked out of her remaining sleep. "Mommy?" She muttered.

Spike pulled Dawn into a close embrace. He draped his arm across Buffy's waist as well to pull her in closer. He wanted to protect these women with every ounce of his being. It frustrated him so much that he couldn't save them from the pain they were going through with their mother's illness.

"No, nothing like that, Buffy." Giles reassured his Slayer. "I'm calling to let you know that they were able to get the equipment a little sooner than they'd anticipated." He returned his glasses to his face.

Buffy let out the breath she'd been holding. "That's great. How soon?"

"2 hours." Giles absentmindedly rubbed a smudge on the metal of the pay phone's casing. "She really wants to see you both before she goes in."

"We'll definitely be there." Buffy jumped out of bed. She got up so fast that she forgot what blankets she still had wrapped around her. Her leg caught in the comforter, sending her crashing to the floor. "Shit!" She dropped the phone.

"Slayer!" "Buffy!" Spike and Dawn yelled simultaneously. Both leaned down to help Buffy up off the floor. Spike picked up the phone. "How long do we have to get there, Watcher?"

"2 hours Spike, but I know Joyce would like to see them as soon as possible."

"I'll have them there in less than 45 minutes." Spike looked back and forth from the disheveled Slayer to the rumpled Key. "That is if they can forget all that putting on their faces crap for a day since they don't need it."

Giles half laughed on his side of the phone. He could well imagine the dirty looks that Buffy and Dawn were sure to be giving Spike at the moment. He was glad that it was directed at the blonde vampire and not himself. "All right. I'll let Joyce know."

Buffy ripped the phone from Spike's hand. "We'll get there as soon as we can."

"See you soon, Buffy." Giles hung up the phone. He rested his forehead against his arm for a few moments while he leaned on the pay phone booth. He needed to collect himself before he headed back into Joyce's room. He didn't have a lot of time left before the children would arrive though it seemed to be strange calling a 200-year-old Master Vampire a child. Sometime Spike truly acted like an adolescent. There were some things he needed to tell Joyce now. He couldn't wait until after the surgery. If something happened, he would always regret not telling her.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Put our faces on?" Dawn hovered over Spike on the bed, tickling fingers ready. Tickling was something she discovered a while ago to be one of Spike's weaknesses. She would never consciously give away his secret, but she couldn't resist the teasing glint in her eyes.

"That wouldn't be nice to do, Nibblet." Spike backed warily away from the wriggling digits. "I paid you both a compliment. You are both beautiful enough without all that fake crap that women put on their faces nowadays."

"Suuurreeee, that's what you meant. Of course it is." Buffy pulled herself back up onto the bed. "At least it had better have been." She rubbed her sore head.

Spike leaned over to kiss the top of Buffy's head. He knew that her Slayer healing would heal the scratch and bump in no time flat, but he couldn't resist the urge to add his own healing to the wounds. His tongue flickered out of his mouth and lovingly licked over the lump forming under the small cut on her head.

Buffy's body shivered at Spike's touch. Her insides churned into a gelatinous goo at the sensations coursing through her. She gripped her hands tightly on Spike's wrists. Her breathing was labored as her heart raced.

"Cor, Buffy." Spike pulled back to rest his forehead against Buffy's. He forgot about Dawn's presence for those moments, lost only in Buffy's scent and warmth. "You are the most beautiful woman in the world. Nothing could make you more perfect." He spoke honestly and from deep within his heart.

"Oh, Spike." Buffy cooed. "Need you so much." She tightened her grip on his wrists.

Dawn took in the scene next to her. A soft "awwww" escaped her lips before she could pull it back. The look on Buffy's face told Dawn all she needed to know about her sister's feelings for Spike. Dawn knew that she'd never seen that look on Buffy's face while she was dating Riley. She looked content and passion filled.

Buffy jerked her head back. Dawn's voice broke her mind's drifting reverie. "Um, yeah." She cleared her throat, blushed and slipped off the bed. Wanting to reassure Spike that she wasn't leaving because she didn't want to be with him, Buffy kissed his lips softly. "We really should get ready."

Spike nodded. "Right, Kitten." He cleared his throat trying to remove some of the hoarseness from it due to the rolling desires in his mind and body. "Where would your garbage bags be, Nibblet?"

"Garbage bags?" Dawn looked at Spike strangely. "Under the kitchen sink, but why do you need them?"

Spike playfully ruffled Dawn's hair. "Because we're going to take some shortcuts to get to the hospital, and I don't want my girls to smell nasty when we get there." He teased.

Buffy raised a curious brow to Spike. "Just where are you going to be taking us?" She stood at the door with one hand on the knob and one foot out the door. "Or don't I want to know?"

"You'll find out." Spike's smile twitched into more of a grinning smirk. "Now hurry up and get dressed. Mum needs to see you both as soon as possible."

Dawn hugged Spike. "She needs to see you too, Spike." She smiled, hopped off the bed and headed for the door. "You're her "Passions" partner." She giggled and ran out the door just as a pillow hit the back of the door.

"Crazy Bit." Spike collapsed back on the bed. "I sure do love the Nibblet though."

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"You've got to be kidding me." 40 minutes later Buffy, hands on her hips, stood in the kitchen with a look of disbelief and disgust on her face.

"Pet, it's the fastest way to get there, and you'll need these." Spike held up the large garbage bag with a couple carefully placed holes in the end for her legs. Two smaller trash bags were ready to have her step into them and be wrapped at her knees for complete safety. "No one will see you in these."

"Spike, we still have to get from my house to the manhole cover. Don't tell me no one will see us." Buffy wouldn't admit that the idea did seem ingenious to her, but she balked at following the sewers from her house all the way to the hospital wearing garbage bag protection.

"We'll run fast. I can't stroll down the street with the sun blazing, and I'm not letting you two out of my sight." Spike was frustrated. The girls took longer to get ready than he liked. An argument over proper shower time had ensued between the sisters. Spike broke it up by timing them each to ten minutes with the threat that he would physically remove whoever was in the shower over their time limit.

Buffy huffed, crossed her arms, and turned her gaze to her sister. "Don't tell me that you are okay with this?"

Dawn shrugged her shoulders. She watched the argument go back and forth like a spectator at a tennis match. "I don't care. So long as we get to Mom as quick as possible."

"Don't let your vanity get in the way of necessity." Spike sighed. "I made these so that you won't get dirty or smelly."

"But they look absolutely ridiculous. It's absurd." Buffy frowned.

"Trust me, pet." Spike readied Dawn with her garbage bag cover gear. "This is the best way."

Buffy rolled her eyes and sighed in defeat. "Fine." She muttered under her breath a few choice phrases about their situation ending with, "If you would just let me drive Mom's car."

Spike and Dawn both yelled. "NO!"

Buffy pouted. The covered trio opened the front door and made a mad dash for the manhole cover in the middle of the street in front of the Summers' residence.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Joyce?" Giles rubbed Joyce's hand slowly. The nurses were back to recheck her IV and take some more blood before surgery.

"Rupert?" Joyce rubbed her eyes with her free hand.

"Sorry to disturb you again Joyce, but we need some more blood." Joyce offered her good arm to the nurse. "You guys take so much blood, I'd swear you were vampires."

Giles stiffened at the reference. He gazed at Joyce questioningly, but he tried to laugh off her comment.

The nurse laughed too. "We've been accused of that many times especially in this town." She winked at Giles. She filled up two long vials before she bandaged the wound closed. "That should do it. Good luck with your surgery." She patted Joyce's arm gently. "You'll be back with us up here in no time."

"I hope so." Joyce gave a weak smile. She felt horrible. Each day she felt worse, and now she added feeling cabin fever to it.

Giles nodded to the nurse and smiled. "Thank you." He turned back to Joyce. He squeezed her hand in assurance. "You're going to get through this Joyce. I know it."

Joyce turned her head to gaze at Rupert Giles. She missed some of the old talks that they used to have when she first found out about Buffy's calling. She was so mad at him then, which later turned into a different kind of fire during the "band candy" incident. She missed having another adult who shared in her problems with teenagers and understood about her needs. "I know, Rupert. It's just so hard."

"My dear ..." Giles removed his glasses and set them on her nightstand. He pinched the bridge of his nose with his free hand. "I don't know what I can say to reassure you, Joyce."

Joyce cupped her free hand against Giles' cheek in a caress. She trailed her fingertips down his jaw and ran the tips of her index finger over his lips. Her gaze held the physical pain that she felt, but it also held a pain of the heart for things unrealized. "I'm so sorry, Rupert." Her voice was soft and choked.

Giles looked back up at Joyce. He sat straighter in his chair. He held her hand tighter, drawing it to rest on his chest. He knew what she was sorry about, for he had felt sorry many times about the same thing. "I am too, Joyce. We were foolish to let it go." He brought her hand up to his lips to kiss the tops of her knuckles. "You've still held the place in my heart, even if not in my life."

Joyce felt the tears form in her eyes, and she swiped them away as quickly as she could. She never dared to hope that Rupert would still feel any love for her. He was an attractive man. Surely he had women a plenty that would wish to snare his affections. The fact that he still cared for her was beyond what she had thought possible. "As have you, Ripper." The twinkle in her eye showed the teasing that her voice could not convey.

"Joyce, you will get through this." Giles spoke with determination. "And this time we aren't going to let the chance pass us by, are we?" His eyes held the wisp of hope that they could pursue what it seemed that both of them wanted.

"No, we won't waste it, Rupert." Joyce drew him closer to her to embrace him. "If nothing else this whole experience has taught me that life is too short to let your dreams pass you by."

Giles hugged Joyce delicately. He didn't want to bring any more pain upon her body than she was already facing. "I hope that you truly mean that Joyce Summers because I promise you this ... This time I'm not letting you go." He squeezed her a little tighter.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Buffy, Spike and Dawn emerged from a storage room near the lower level janitorial department. They quickly dispatched their now dirty garbage bag gear into the garbage itself. All three of them looked and smelled pristine despite how they arrived at the hospital.

The banter between the three of them was playful and light. While in the tunnels Buffy warned Dawn not to talk about her "status" with anyone. She said that not even all the Scoobies knew about it, and she didn't want to tell them all just yet. She said they also had to be careful where they talked about anything because you never knew who might overhear. Dawn understood the need for caution, and she agreed to keep everything private between the 5 of them: Buffy, Spike, Giles, herself, and hopefully their Mom. After their mother's bout of "insanity", they all felt it was necessary to let Joyce know what was going on if she didn't already.

The three were laughing lightly at some dirty limerick that Spike rattled off when they opened the door to Joyce's room. All of them stopped and stared wide-mouthed at Giles half on Joyce's bed and half not, holding Joyce tight.

Buffy couldn't resist a bit of a tease. Giles always mocked her for her actions. "You two haven't been eating chocolate again, have you?" She teased. She couldn't let this fly with nothing. "Something you should be telling me, Mom? Giles?"

"Right nice spot you have there, Watcher." Spike smirked. "Best seat in the house if you ask me."

Buffy playfully slapped Spike in the arm.

"Ow, Slayer!" Spike rubbed his arm as if he had been decked hard. "I meant the best seat for him. You know where I want to sit." He pulled a giggling Buffy down into a nearby chair with him. "Or be sat on."

Dawn rolled her eyes. "Oh brother."

Giles sat up straight. His cheeks were crimson and warm with the force of his blush. Joyce was the first to recover her voice. She eyed her daughters and the blond vampire with amusement. "Be careful how you say that Dawnie." Joyce teased. "He just might be someday."

Buffy nearly fell off of Spike's lap at the comment. If Spike hadn't tightened his grip on her in that moment she would have crashed to the floor. "Mom!"

Joyce shrugged and looked up at Giles. "Makes sense to me, doesn't it to you?" She squeezed his hand, knowing that Buffy really needed her father figure's approval.

"Um, yes. Quite." Giles cleared his throat. His gaze evened on the vampire holding his daughter like charge. He planned on having a heart to heart with Spike soon enough to find out his true intentions towards Buffy.

Spike gaped at Joyce in amazement. That statement sounded like her approval for such a thing between him and Buffy. He knew Joyce liked him, but he hadn't realized that she liked him that much. He grinned from ear to ear in delight. He bounced Buffy in his lap, giddy as a jaybird.

Dawn held back the peels of laughter and giddiness that she felt from all the acceptance in the room. This was just too awesome. All of them here together, like a family. Giles was like a father to the girls and of course Joyce was their mother. Spike was the older brother that she never had. If Spike and Giles could just cooperate with each other, they would be a true family.

"Rupert, would you take Dawn and Spike with you to get some sodas and coffee for all of you?"

Joyce's face told Giles that she needed some time alone with Buffy. To what end he was not sure, but he nodded his head in agreement. "Of course, Joyce. We'll be back shortly."

Spike hugged Buffy before he left the room. He whispered in her ear that he'd be back as soon as they could if she needed him. Buffy nodded as the trio headed out.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"What do you suppose she wants to talk to Buffy about?" Dawn asked as soon as they were out of the room.

"Whatever it was, she wanted to do it in private, Nibblet." Spike looked back at the closed door with concern. These were the times when he sorely wished his relationship with Buffy was more progressed. He wished that he and Buffy were truly together in all ways. He'd be able to feel her emotions and know if she was all right or not if they had bonded and claimed each other.

Giles put an arm around Dawn's shoulder, drawing her towards the snack machines. "I'm sure she just has a lot on her mind."

Dawn nodded, but none of the three seemed relieved or relaxed about what the secret conversation might entail.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

"Buffy, I wanna ask you something, and if I'm being crazy you just tell me okay?" Joyce was lost in the jumble of thoughts.

"You got it." Buffy slid onto the bed at her mother's feet. She caressed her thumb over the back of Joyce's hand.

"The other day ... Well, actually I'm not sure when. The days seem to bleed together." Each day seemed to run into the next and the previous one. It was hard to keep it all straight. Her dreams and nightmares clashed with reality. What was really true and what wasn't?

Buffy's eyes filled with tears and she shook her head. "It's not important."

"No, I guess it isn't." Joyce said resignedly.

"I do know I was pretty out of it, and I had ... not ... not like a dream exactly. More like I had this knowledge." Joyce tipped her head to the side. She was confused. It all seemed so stupid to blurt out, but it was as if she just knew that she was right about this. "It just came to me like truth, you know. Even though it doesn't seem possible. Even though I shouldn't think such things."

"What?" Buffy had a feeling that she knew what her mom was going to ask her. She'd heard Joyce's ranting at Dawn when the tumor made her seem insane. Perhaps in some ways she had gone temporarily insane. The other mental patients seemed to have a knowledge of Dawn's key status that others could not see. Maybe her mom had sensed the same thing.

"That Dawn ... She's not mine, is she?" Joyce silently counted the seconds in-between her question and Buffy's response.

Buffy frowned. "No." She looked down and back up at Joyce.

Joyce slowly shook her head trying to push away the disbelief and the pain that this knowledge now lodged in her heart. "She's ... She does belong to us though."

"Yes, she does."

"And she's important to the world, precious." Buffy nodded to her mother. "As precious as you are to me?" Joyce added.

Buffy continued to nod, a hint of a smile played on her lips even as she forced the tears in her eyes not to fall.

"Then we have to take care of her." Joyce's voice was urgent and demanding. "Promise me if I don't come through this ..."

Buffy cut Joyce off. "Mom."

"No. No matter what she is, she still feels like my daughter." Joyce paused for her words to sink in. "I have to know that you'll take care of her; that you'll keep her safe. That you'll love her like I love you." Joyce needed the reassurances about Dawn that only Buffy could give her right now.

"I promise." Buffy was losing the fight with her tears. Each word was another arrow to her heart that left a hole of loss. She refused to let her mother go yet. She couldn't let her go, and she hoped that she didn't have to any time soon.

"Good." Joyce started to cry. "Good." She pressed forward and hugged Buffy tightly to her like she never wanted to let go. "My sweet, brave Buffy. What would I do without you?"

Buffy's heart clenched. "What would I do without you, Mommy?" She let the sobs start to fall.

A RN came into the room at that moment to prepare Joyce's gurney to be wheeled down to the operating room. Giles, Spike and Dawn returned to the room.

"May we have a moment?" Giles asked. The RN nodded. "Just let me get her into the hall first." He helped Joyce move from her bed to the gurney he'd brought. He wheeled the gurney into the hall, locked the brakes, and stepped away to take care of some paperwork.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Spike was the first to bid Joyce farewell. He placed a kiss on her forehead. His blue eyes glazed over slightly. "See you soon, Mum. You still have that hot chocolate recipe you need to teach me."

Joyce chuckled. "You betcha." She rubbed his arm tenderly. "I know you'll take care of my girls."

"With my life." Spike spoke with serious conviction in each word. "And so will you." He wasn't going to let Joyce go thinking that she wouldn't be coming back. "You'll be there to whip my arse to make sure that I take care of em proper like." He stepped back to let Dawn in closer.

Dawn hugged Joyce tightly. Her tears fell freely. She couldn't hide them even if she tried. "Come back soon, Mommy."

Joyce kissed Dawn's forehead, reached out her hand towards Buffy, and pulled both of her daughters in for a tight hug. "Don't you worry. We Summers women are strong, and that includes you." She tapped the end of Dawn's nose.

Giles was the last to step up next to the gurney in the hall. He looked down at Joyce with love shining in his eyes. "We have much to look forward to now, my dear." He caressed her cheek then left a brief kiss to her lips. "We'll be here when you are done."

The RN adjusted the brakes on the gurney and took his place at the head of it. "They're ready for her now. You all can wait in the surgical lounge." He pointed down the hall.

The four of them stood there and watched as Joyce Summers was pulled away from them. Each of them was holding a hand or holding onto another to link them all together. No one moved until the doors finally flapped closed to hide their mother from them.

Their lives were going to change for the good or bad depending on the outcome of this surgery. No one wanted to think about the bad, but they all knew it was a possibility. With heavy hearts the quartet turned in the hall and headed to the lounge.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

(To Be Continued)