Disclaimer: I am merely playing with characters created by others. I claim no ownership of them.


Chapter 4 – Motherly Advice



“Wanker!” Spike muttered as soon as he was sure he was out of the Slayer’s earshot. “Stupid, bloody, useless, pathetic wanker!”


Well, what had just transpired could truly be considered a new low for him. Which was saying quite a lot, if he considered the spectacular number of low points his unlife had seen so far.


What the hell had he been thinking, admitting his loneliness to the Slayer, of all people?


“I’m lonely,” he mocked himself, kicking a trash can out of his way. “Why don’ I just offer to hold up a bull’s-eye to my unbeating heart while she plunges her stake into my chest?”


Really, the humiliation of assisting in his own murder would surely be less than that of blabbing to his mortal enemy that he was so starved for company he’d force himself on her in order to be entertained for the evening. He was such a git.


Such a lonely git.


Up until roughly a year and a half ago, he’d never been alone. When he’d first been turned, he’d had his family – no matter how much he’d hated Peaches and his whore – and then it’d been just him and Dru. For almost a hundred and twenty years, he’d been part of something.


Then everything had gone arse over tit because of one sodding truce with another bird. Drusilla and him were through, which had led him, in a meandering path, back to the Hellmouth and all the shite that had befallen him ever since.


And now, to be reduced to oh-so-casually suggesting that the Slayer and he hang out together? Ostensibly so she could get her violence on, but really, deep down, because he had seen an opening and grasped it with both hands: she was restless and antsy too, she needed to fight, and she was for once not kicking him away.


Because hate her as he might, she wasn’t the worst company he could keep.


She could be a bitch and she could be ornery as hell, but he was far from blind and she was a right gorgeous bint. All golden hair and smooth skin and lithe, muscular limbs. A real pleasure to look at, she was. Soldier Boy didn’t know what he’d left behind in Sunnydale, because if he truly did, he’d have never let her out of his sight.


Wait a minute...


As Spike continued his aimless wandering through Sunnydale’s eerily tranquil streets, an idea took shape. It wasn’t a particularly good one; it was risky, and he was pretty sure it was stupid as hell, but hey, at least it had the added bonus of being evil. He was lonely and jonesing for a shag, and he now knew that the Slayer wasn’t getting any action other than what her right hand could provide – which he doubted she indulged in, she looked much too uptight to resort to self-gratification. Maybe a little forced seduction would be an interesting way to occupy his short summer nights.


He could see it now, the fun he’d have corrupting Buffy. It wouldn’t be easy, but since when was anything worth having simple to come by? The Slayer would be difficult to convince, hell, he’d probably have to stoop to some hard-core wooing, but he was sure the end result would be worth it. A strong, flexible chit like her would be an interesting bed partner, he’d be willing to bet his telly and VCR on it.


And the best part? Watching her face when he dumped her once he decided it was over. Oh yeah, once he was done with her, she’d be ruined for any other man, especially her stupid sod of a boyfriend.


His summer plan thought up, if not well developed yet, Spike decided to head back to his crypt. There was much to plan before their scheduled rendezvous.


Because tomorrow night he had a date with the Slayer.



--*--*--



Buffy eased open the front door and quietly slipped inside. The hinges had been making a funny squeaking noise in the past few days, and she didn’t want to wake her mom. But if she happened to be awake... there was something she would like to talk to her about.


She therefore slammed the door with just a little more force than was strictly necessary.


“Buffy, is that you?”


Jackpot!


Joyce came wandering out of the kitchen, yawning and rubbing her eyes. She was clearly dressed for bed.


“Mom, hi, sorry about the door,” Buffy tried to sound apologetic, really, she did, but she really needed her mom’s input on her beyond bizarre evening with Spike.


“No, it’s ok. I couldn’t sleep, so I came back down to finish today’s, or rather yesterday’s, crossword puzzle,” Joyce reassured her.


Buffy walked past her mother into the kitchen and headed straight for the fridge. Post patrol hunger pangs were alive and kicking, even if all her night had amounted to was bantering with the Peroxide Pest.


“How’s it working out for you?” she asked over her shoulder before diving headfirst into the cheese drawer.


“Not bad, I still need a five letter word for ‘involvement or interest’,” Joyce answered as she wandered back into the kitchen and leaning against the counter.


“Hmm, any hints?”


“First letter is ‘s’, and it ends with an ‘e’.”


Buffy pondered this as she took out a knife to cut a few pieces of cheddar to go with the crackers she’d fished out of the cupboard. Five letter word, started with ‘s’, synonym for involvement...


“Ooh, ooh, it’s ‘stake’!” she exclaimed proudly.


Joyce reached for her pencil to insert Buffy’s suggestion into the grid. “It works! Thanks, honey.”


“Finally, my slaying makes a useful crossover into everyday life,” Buffy joked.


“How was patrol tonight? Still quiet?” Joyce asked.


“So quiet. It’s like evil got a last minute deal on an all-inclusive to Club Med and forgot to invite me,” Buffy grumped.


Joyce looked surprised. “But, isn’t that a good thing?”


“In theory, yes. But, Mom, it’s so boring...there’s nothing to fight,” Buffy whined before popping cheese-covered salty goodness into her mouth. She chewed and swallowed before continuing. “I was actually reduced to spending the evening with Spike!”


There, that was a subtle segue, if she did say so herself. For some reason, her mom actually liked the blond vampire. And since Buffy was feeling conflicted about agreeing to see him tomorrow night, or later today as it were, she figured her mom would be the voice of reason in this particular dilemma.


“Oh, how is Spike? I haven’t seen him in awhile,” Joyce said. “He’s such a nice young man; you should invite him over some time.”


Was her mom for real? “Mom, you do get that Spike is a vampire, right? He’s neither young, nor a man.”


“Well, he looks young,” Joyce defended. “It’s easier for me to think of him as just another of your friends, but with a weird diet.”


“Spike is not my friend,” Buffy protested. “He’s an annoyance, a pest, a knat!”


“Well, that doesn’t make him any less fun to look at,” Joyce pointed out coyly.


“Mom! You did not just say that!”


“What, you disagree?”


Buffy didn’t answer, choosing instead to reach back into to the fridge for some apple juice to wash down her snack. It gave her time to ponder the strange, icky feeling in her stomach at her mother’s words. So Joyce thought Spike was handsome, what of it? He was indeed a fine specimen, not even Buffy was going to deny it.


“I mean, he’s got sort of a dangerous appeal,” Joyce continued, oblivious to Buffy’s discomfort. “All that leather, the black clothes, that dashing scar in his eyebrow...”


“Mom, if you even dare utter the word ‘dreamy,’ I’m out of here!” Buffy warned.


Joyce smiled softly at her daughter. “I’m just saying that Spike is very attractive. Looking at him is not the worse way you could spend an evening.”


“But he’s obnoxious and snarky and keeps making these disturbing suggestive comments! Like, I really don’t need him reminding me that Riley is not here and that fighting makes me...” Buffy trailed off, remembering at the last possible millisecond exactly whom she was having a conversation with. She loved her mom, but there were some things that she would just not discuss with her. Ever. “...hungry,” she finished lamely, holding up her glass of juice to prove her point.


“Well, I think you should spend time with him. Riley’s not around to patrol with you, having Spike around can only help you out,” Joyce pointed out.


“Ok, first of all, I don’t need anyone to patrol with me! Slayer here, remember? And Spike is not ‘help.’ He basically just annoys me. And hey, why does it sound like you’re suggesting that since Riley isn’t around, I should, like, date Spike?” Buffy asked accusingly. She was becoming miffed at her mom, conveniently pushing aside the thought that she’d wanted her opinion on Spike’s suggestion in the first place.


Joyce looked shocked at her outburst. “Buffy, I didn’t say that! I just think that spending time with Spike could be fun, maybe. He’s quite interesting once you get to know him. He’s traveled all over the world –”


“No doubt putting a serious dent in population growth while he was at it,” Buffy grumbled under her breath.


“– and has seen so much,” Joyce continued as if Buffy hadn’t interrupted her. “He’s great company!”


“Yeah, well, he wants to be great company for your only daughter tomorrow night,” Buffy said. “Or tonight, if you want to get technical about it.”


Joyce leaned forward over the kitchen island with a twinkle Buffy wasn’t sure she liked in her eye. “What will you be doing? Dinner and a movie?”


“Funny, Mom. Remember Riley, my boyfriend? Whom I believe you referred to yourself not a minute ago? I don’t think my having date-like fun with Spike was what he had in mind when he left for Iowa,” Buffy paused as something occurred to her. “Did he call, by the way?”


“Who, Spike?” Joyce teased.


At that, Buffy slammed her hand down on the counter. “Not. Funny. You know I meant Riley.”


“Not that I’m aware of, sweetie. Were you expecting him to?” Joyce asked.


Buffy pondered the question for a moment. They’d promise to call and write and stuff, but no firm plans had been made, which was weird if she stopped to consider it. And what was slightly more wigsome was that she hadn’t even thought of obsessively checking their answering machine for messages since he’d left. She must be really off her dating game.


“Well, kinda, I guess,” Buffy finally settled on. “I mean, he will be gone until August, and he’s supposedly going to miss me. And I can’t imagine that there’s that much to do in Hicksville, Iowa.”


“You should call him. As long as you keep it short, I don’t mind,” Joyce offered.


Uh-oh, Buffy treated herself to an internal wince. She was beyond embarrassed to admit that she hadn’t thought to ask Riley for the number where he’d be. “Mom, come on. He’s the one who left me all by my lonesome for the summer, he can be the one to foot the monstrous long distance phone bill.”


“Ok, Buffy. But in the meantime, I think you should spend some time with Spike. I’ve seen him a couple of times around town lately, and he looks like he could use a friend.”


“Mom, are we going to have to review the logistics of the Slayer-Vampire relationship again? Because Spike and I are not destined to be bosom buddies. We’re enemies. Mortal enemies. As in we want to kill each other badly and in violently messy ways.”


Joyce held up her hands. “Ok, I get it. But I think you should consider it. He can’t hurt you and you seem bored. Maybe you could train with him, or something. You could pretend – and I stress my use of the word ‘pretend’ – that he’s an evil demon you have to slay. He could help you stay alert for when the real bad guys get back from their ‘all-inclusive’ and you’re busy again.”


And that was why Buffy sometimes sought out her mom’s opinion and advice about difficult situations. She always unknowingly came around to Buffy’s way of thinking, thus validating Buffy’s tendency to want to do things she knew she shouldn’t.


She sighed and schooled her features into her best put-upon expression. “You’re right, Mom. I’ll go out tomorrow and see if maybe we can spar or something.”


Joyce smiled softly at her. “Thank you, Buffy. And tell him I say ‘hi’ and that he can stop by anytime,” she requested before covering her mouth with her hand to hide a yawn. “Well, I’m heading up to bed. Don’t stay up too late.”


And with a kiss on the cheek and a last smile before leaving the kitchen, her mom was gone. Which left Buffy all alone with her thoughts and an empty juice glass that needed rinsing.


So, it was settled. Her, Spike, a cemetery, and some good old-fashioned sparring. Thank you, Mom, Buffy thought before heading upstairs herself to get ready for bed. Way to guilt me into doing what I kinda, sorta, maybe wanted to do anyway. Or not. We’ll see.



TBC...