He was kissing her back.

Slowly, just barely, his lips almost not moving, but he was kissing her back, and that was enough for Buffy to feel heat erupt along all her limbs and waves of tingles flow through her.

Her hand on his shoulder slid up, around the back of his neck, and into his hair; she could actually feel Spike shaking slightly, but he didn’t pull away, even when her doing so pulled his head forward a little, away from the wall that seemed to be his anchor.

Buffy didn’t want him to have an anchor.

She let go of the blanket, not caring if it dropped to the ground, though of course it didn’t; she’d wrapped it tightly and besides, she was pressed hard against Spike, so hard that the pressure alone would hold the blanket up if necessary.

With the hand that had been holding the blanket, she reached for his hand; it was pressed hard against the wall, and had she looked, Buffy would have noticed that his fingers were white with pressure.

But she wasn’t looking. No, her eyes were closed, and she was kissing Spike, and as her hand captured his, pulling it off the wall, he kissed her back just a little more, his lips opening just a little, which meant that taking his hand was a very good move, because anything that made him kiss her more was good, and he was talking now…

Talking?

Buffy’s eyes opened slowly, and she didn’t pull back so much as pause, but even so for a second her own pounding heartbeat made it impossible to understand his words so she tuned in right in the middle of her own name.

“…ffy.”

“What?”

Spike’s eyes were still closed, his entire body motionless against hers, but his voice was deep and desperate. “We can’t do this, why are you doing this?”

Buffy finally pulled away a little – just enough so that their lips no longer touched. “I don’t know.”

Upon hearing that, Spike’s body shivered again and his eyes opened, but Buffy wasn’t done. It was the honesty train for her this morning, though why she had no idea… But the words crawled out of her mouth without her permission like a confession. “I don’t know, and I don’t care. I want to. I’ve wanted to do this since that spell, and I don’t want to stop now just because we had sex last night. I just wanted to kiss you, and you don’t push me away when I kiss you, and you were leaving, so I kissed you, and you stopped leaving and you were just starting to kiss me again, and I need you to kiss me again. I don’t care if we can’t do this, I want to and I don’t care what you say, I’m not going to let you leave or even think straight if I can help it, so stop talking!”

And she leaned forward again and pressed her lips to his as hard as she could, her hands suddenly clutching hard to his hair and his hand, her body pressed up against his as hard as she could be.

And for a little while – such a short, blessed time! – Spike was kissing her back, as hard as last night, and he wasn’t motionless against the wall anymore; no, he was moving forward, wrapping his arms around her when Buffy became a little limp and once again she felt dizzy and out of control.

And it was perfect.

Buffy relaxed completely, kissing Spike, her eyes closed and limbs weak, not even noticing anymore when he moved them away from the wall and towards the couch, or when he set her down, kneeling over her to continue kissing her.

He was completely in charge of the situation once again; Buffy didn’t care about anything anymore, and she wouldn’t, not as long as she had these lips fixed to hers and this tongue in her mouth and this body touching hers, and Spike kissing her.

But then he wasn’t.

His lips were gone as suddenly as if they’d never been there, and it took Buffy a moment or two to realize that her hands were tied behind her back to the couch – when did that happen? – and Spike was sitting on her legs, looking down at her with a sly expression on his face.

Oh.

*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*

“Let me go, damn it, Spike!”

Spike was ignoring her words completely. He watched her for a few seconds, before backing away, turning back to the rest of his clothes and finishing putting them all on. Then he looked at her again quickly, frowned, and left the room.

The fifteen minutes before he came back seemed like the longest fifteen minutes in the history of the universe. Buffy was suddenly beginning to realize that she had committed possibly the most stupid act ever done by a Slayer, stupid in two ways: first, she had allowed herself to be tied up, completely weaponless, in her own home with her own magically-enforced rope… by a chipped vampire that was currently harmless and was now free to leave town if he wished. Secondly, she had gotten drunk on Spike’s mouth and somehow decided she never wanted it to leave, and had acted on that, even telling Spike her thoughts, and now she was trapped as a result of her ridiculous actions.

Yes, they were ridiculous. What was she thinking? First of all, Spike’s reaction when he woke up should have shown her he in no way wanted to touch her again… and she should have realized that it was her reaction that was messed up.

And had she even thought through her own actions? She’d had an impulse, and she followed it. It never occurred to her that what she had essentially been asking Spike for was a long-term relationship, at least longer than a one-night stand. It was insane! Just last night, they had declared their hate to each other – what was she thinking?

And besides, this was Spike. Even assuming he had agreed, and they had continued to have some sort of relationship, how could she, the Slayer, in good conscience do so with a member of the (inherently evil when lacking a soul) undead, especially her ex-mortal enemy, the Slayer of Slayers?

She couldn’t, not really. She might want to, even now, even after thinking all this, but she couldn’t. And maybe, if he was going to kiss her again, maybe she would do it anyway – she might even stand up to her friends for this feeling, this bliss every time their lips met… But Spike wasn’t going to kiss her.

Maybe she could start hating him again, and get back to normal, if he just would too. Yes, she should hope he would. She should hope he would come back in the room, say something snarky, and then leave town altogether. Even explaining to Giles why she was tied up, wearing only a blanket, on her couch, with Spike gone, would be easier than the alternative.

She should hope all that happened.

But she didn’t.

*~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~**~*~*~*

When he returned, Buffy had finally quieted, hunching up and staring at her feet. At the sound of his footsteps, her entire face turned lobster red, and she heard a chuckle from the doorway.

Yay. He was going for the ‘snark, then run’ option. This was good. Good.

“I’d let you up to get dressed, but I have a feeling you’re not going to sit still for me once you’re out of the ropes.”

Sit still for me?

“So, instead…”

Spike tossed something on Buffy’s lap, obscuring her view of her toes. Blinking down at it, she realized it was a sleeveless sundress. She didn’t move.

“I can’t talk to you when you’re sittin’ there in a blanket.”

That’s the idea, Buffy thought. She was still completely confused, but she knew one thing: she really, really, really didn’t want to have this conversation.

“Get dressed, Slayer.”

Spike’s tone brooked no argument, so Buffy awkwardly began to twist her way into the dress, eyes squeezed tightly shut in shame. Spike had probably chosen it because it was sleeveless – this meant she didn’t have to have her hands free to put it on or wear it.

Finally she stilled, and went back to staring at her toes.

Spike stood – he had been leaning on the doorjamb earlier – and strolled closer. Buffy heard his boots hitting the ground with little clump, clump noises.

Finally, he stopped in front of her. His boots looked like armored tanks next to her bare toes, and Buffy felt another wave of shame roll over her.

There was a slight pause, then Spike swore and his hands roughly grabbed her upper arms, shaking her until Buffy was forced to look up at him.

And then, she couldn’t take her eyes away.

She followed him with her eyes as he backed a short ways away and sat down on a wooden chair he must have brought in from the kitchen. He took out a cigarette and looked at it longingly for a moment, but then put it back in the pack.

Finally, he looked up to meet her eyes, and Buffy swallowed.

“Right. I’d still like to have that talk.”

Buffy frowned.

“The one from the kitchen.”

Buffy’s jaw fell open, and even though she still hadn’t said a word, Spike chuckled again. “I’m thinking on the same principle as before; something happened that we need to suss out. This time the ‘something’ is bigger, but even so.”

He leaned forward. “I’m going to make you talk to me Slayer, no matter what it takes. I need to figure this out, to understand it, and I’ll do anything I have to, to get you talking. So it would be easier – ”

“Kiss me.”

Both of them blinked in surprise at the words, and Spike frowned. “I swear I heard you say – ”

“Kiss me. Every time you want an explanation, or have a question – I’ll answer it, but only if you kiss me.”

Spike closed his eyes briefly and laughed somewhat shakily, running a hand through his hair. “Bloody… You have no shame, do you Slayer?”

But Buffy had seen his hand trembling, and she realized that maybe he didn’t know any more than she did. She couldn’t help but hope so, and if so, maybe the words that had leapt from her mouth completely on their own weren’t exactly a bad thing.

Even if they did kinda go against the whole, ‘I’ll just sit here, and not do anything like kiss Spike again’ resolution she’d been going for earlier. It still seemed fair. A simple trade. Answers for kisses.

Yes. Yes, she didn’t mind her mouth saying that, even if Spike was right; it made it seem that she was desperate and had no shame. But apparently, that was true anyway.

“Fine.” Spike shook his head, as if he couldn’t believe what he was saying. “Fine. I’ll… kiss you, for every answer you give me.”

There was a slight pause; then Spike sighed.

“All right, first question. You said something about ‘ever since the spell’…?”