Woo, girl! If you consider this fluffy Spuffy, I’d hate to see what you consider angst. ;D This is Buffy at rock bottom and it doesn’t get much worse than this (at least in my mind) when it comes to self-loathing. That said, I’m pleased that you enjoyed it. Angel was such a big presence in this particular set of ficlets because of the prompt it was generated from. I had to use the episode “Angel” as a jumping off point, so it was fairly integral that he be included. Before Spuffy became a concept, I was a Bangel fan and his influence in her life is a huge factor in how she grows emotionally and sexually through the show. In many ways, I think Angel is the specter that haunts the rest of the series, in so far as the Scoobies’ feelings about vampires, her budding and then hidden relationship with Spike and Buffy’s own feelings about Spike and the concept of soul vs. soullessness. Frankly, I think Angel wrecked her in some very serious ways and she never really got over that first, fragile and volatile relationship. These two short pieces are a bit metaish in how the idea of vampirism and being with vampires prior to and subsequent to her death really informs her image and sense of self. For so long she defined herself in opposition to the demons she was sworn to slay, but as the series goes on that strict division becomes very blurry, especially when her moral compass is knocked off kilter in S6 and she commits some very serious acts of violence and uses psychological abuse to try and feel power when her existence denies her it at every turn.

It’s great that the particular line has you pondering over the burning metaphor. This story actually generated a fair amount of meta discussion on my livejournal, so if you’re interested in reading what commenters had to say in response, I’ll direct you to this link: http://clawofcat.livejournal.com/44218.html. Part II, which is linked at the bottom of “The Cross” post, actually has most of the comments.

I’d also like to direct you to a Bangel fic I wrote that takes place in early S6 and acts as a sort of background piece to inform how or even why Buffy may have gone there with Spike later in the show. It was constructed to answer a lot of those questions, so if you’re feeling adventurous, here it is: http://clawofcat.livejournal.com/56549.html. It’s my favorite self-authored fic.

And a tragic one, at that. Poor Buffy is so often maligned for her treatment of Spike by Spuffy 'shippers that when I write, I often try to explore why it is she does these things. There is so much hurt inside. I feel for her.