NEW SUMMARY: Spike goes on a quest to atone for wronging Buffy. But, there are people in high places that do not want him to succeed- or survive. If he does, will he change the world? Canon until "Seeing Red." Goes AU from there. NOMINATED at the Spuffy Awards Round 12 for "BtVS Rewritten" & at BIFA for "Best WIP, Best Angst/Drama", also nominated at the Spark & Burn Awards, and at LLGA for Best angst, Saga, and Plot. WINNER Fang Fettish Round 5: Best Supporting Character-Giles. RUNNER UP at the Spark and Burn Awards 2nd Round for both "Best Angst" and "Best Fight Scene."

As Giles ponders life, Spike hears an ugly rumor.

"The hardest thing in this world, is to live in it."

The Council knows more than it's telling.

In order to build something new the old must be torn down.

Some things are better together

We all walk a tightrope between good and evil.

There is a reason we do what we do

Actions speak louder

Growing can be painful

Some monsters are men, and some men are monsters

There is nothing Spike wouldn't do to save the ones he loves

People fear what they don't understand

The weather in England is changing

Tunnel vision isn't always a good thing.

Rules are made to be broken

Buffy finds out what she means to Spike. And, so does Travers.

Sometimes it's best to start over.

The Council cannot accept change

Things may look nice on the outside- but if you look closer...

Pay attention to the man behind the curtain

What is going on behind the curtain?

Some secrets are best kept

The darker things look...

Spike's "family" mounts a rescue. AUTHOR'S NOTE: For those readers who missed the correction, Buffy arrived in Devon on August 2nd, 2002.

Something wicked this way comes...

Travers's madness is revealed

Spike struggles while waiting, and hoping-for rescue

Buffy breaks through

Buffy reaches deep within...and Spike reaches back.

More is revealed...

As Buffy, Willow and Giles think things through, Spike goes on instinct

Spike has a very painful past

Buffy sees the enemy

Prophecies don't tell you everything...

Buffy faces the monster inside of her

Even a hero needs someone to lean on in times of crisis

Buffy makes a promise

Giles discovers something...

The inverse of happiness is grief

It's time to act

The goal of every warrior is to survive

We all must face ourselves, one day

Sometimes you need to see a thing in order to believe in it

Just who is, "William the Bloody?"

Changes have tostart somewhere

The Watchers' and the vampires' role is mulled over.

Buffy says she's sorry...like only she can

The how's and the why's

Giles asks a question only Spike can answer

Let's talk...

Your past can affect how you relate to others

Views are changing...and not all for the better

The whole is more than the sum of the parts.

It's good to have someone there when you fall.

Not all that glitters...

A voice from the past seeks to ruin Buffy's future.

What're they gonna do now?

Every knight takes something with him into battle.

Buffy offers something...

A new day is coming

Spike gets swept away...

Only the fire-born can understand blue.- Carl Sandburg

Buffy finds something new...and old, borrowed, and blue.

...seem to be a little in the dark.

We all must grow, and find where, in the world, we fit.

The hardest thing Spike has ever had to do

Spike has a plan. But, will it break Buffy's heart?

The Slayer's instincts may have damaged Buffy beyond repair

The aftermath...

Buffy surrenders.

Giles watches Buffy's world crumble.

Sometimes you can love someone so much that it kills them.

Who has the power now?

Buffy suggests something drastic

There is a ray of hope

"When we die, we go into the arms of those who remember us. We are home now..."- from the song "Out Of This World" by Bush.

Giles's escape plan

Problem solving...Scooby style.

Can we learn from the past?

We all need a reason to fight.