Betad by Carol and dawnofme


Banner by dawnofme


Disclaimer: the characters do not belong to me - they are used purely for fun and not fiancial gain





Chapter Forty-Two


Aftermath


Giles stirred on the floor. The terrible pain that he’d endured, seemingly forever, had faded away. He lifted his head and looked around, eyes squinting when the pain returned a little as he moved.


“Back with us, Giles?” a voice asked softly.


Giles focussed on the source of the sound.


“Spike,” he said weakly.


“Yeah, mate, it’s me.”


Giles put his hand up to the area where the Lorac Bug had erupted. “So it’s gone then?”


“It’s gone.”


“The pain…how did you endure it?” he asked.


“Same as you; I had no choice. Didn’t have it as bad as you though. I slept for longer.”


Giles struggled to his feet and sat in the nearest armchair.


“Spike, I…I…” he stuttered before breaking down into tears.


Spike shifted uncomfortably in his seat, unsure what to do or say to comfort him.


“Um…look…er…Giles, we know it was the Bug and not you so…er…just take it easy, okay?”


Giles got himself back in control and looked at Spike. “I tried not to obey, but I just couldn’t.” His voice broke, threatening to turn into sobs again.


“Shh, Giles,” said Spike, desperately hoping he wouldn’t cry again. “I know it’s been horrible for you, but you’ve got to try to get past it. You’ll just torture yourself if you keep going over it.”


“But it’s so difficult. For days I was just a puppet, doing whatever that evil woman wanted.”


“Try being like that for over a year,” said Spike dryly.


“But you didn’t know anything else. They’d blocked your memories – your will.”


“And that’s better because…?” snarled Spike.


“Um…I’m not saying this very well, am I?”


Spike shook his head.


“It’s better because you didn’t know what you were doing was wrong. I did but still had to do it,” continued Giles.


“Yeah, I can see how losing my own identity, feeling permanently afraid but not knowing why and being regularly subjected to torture, is way better than having to do what one twisted bitch of a vampire said for a few days,” growled Spike, face morphing into his demonic features.


“Vampire?” asked Giles incredulously. “Maggie was a vampire? But how? I saw her holding crosses – why didn’t she burn?”


Spike’s features faded back to human. “Did you ever see her without latex gloves on?”


Giles thought for a moment. “No, I didn’t.”


“There you go then,” sneered Spike. “That’s what made her so good at torturing vampires – she knew exactly what hurt the most.”


Giles looked at him and swallowed hard. “I’m sorry Spike, you’re right. Nothing I went through compares to what you suffered.” He dropped his head, feeling ashamed.


“God, I bet it hurt to say that I’m right,” said Spike with a grin. “Can you say it again a bit louder? Would you mind writing it down?”


Giles caught his eye and smiled weakly at him. “How can you joke?”


“What else can I do, Giles? If I thought about it for more than a minute at a time I’d dust myself. Fact is, the only thing that keeps me going is Buffy, and, though I’ll deny it if you repeat it, you guys too.”


“Us?”


“Yeah, but say it and I’ll bite you.”


“You already have,” said Giles, and with a bit of a smile he touched the mark on his neck.


“Nah, just closed the wound. I didn’t have much of a taste,” said Spike grinning at him. “You’ll be okay, Rupe, but…well…some of the others…are a bit…um…”


“Resentful?” supplied Rupert. “I know what Willow did. I heard. I don’t blame her…that thing on her face…”


“They’ll get over it.”


“You’re a good man, Spike.”


Spike opened his mouth to reply, unable to believe what he’d just heard, when Willow shouted from the basement.


“Spike! She’s awake, it’s over.”


He looked at Giles. “I’m going to go to see her, but I’m going to have to tie you up again. You know the Bug could have a residual hold on you for the next twenty four hours.”


“I understand, Spike.” He walked over to the chair that he’d previously been tied to.


Spike struggled to his feet and limped over to him, then began tying his wrists to the chair’s arms.


“Your leg. You got that protecting me,” said Giles.


“Not entirely true,” replied Spike, not wanting Giles to think he’d gone totally soft. “I did it for Buffy. She would never have gotten over it if she’d killed you.”


He pulled the knot tight and limped out of the room. Giles sat and watched him leave. Had Spike always been capable of acting like that? Had he changed because of his ordeal in The Initiative? No, he’d protected Dawn with his life when Buffy was dead. Giles knew the answer – everything Spike did was governed by his total love for Buffy. He’d protect her and those she loved at all costs.


Ooooooo


“Spike,” said Buffy as soon as she saw him. She held out her hand to him, and this time he didn’t keep out of her reach. Despite the possible danger, he wrapped his arms around her.


“Oh, Buffy, thank God. Are you okay?” He never knew how he managed to prevent himself from crying like a baby as he held her in his embrace.


“I’m okay, Spike, I really am. I never felt a thing thanks to Willow. How’s Giles?”


Spike caught Willow’s eye; she looked at him imploringly then broke contact.


“Um, he’s fine,” said Spike as he watched Willow run up the stairs. “Let Matt and Dawn know it’s over,” he called after her.


She didn’t reply but he soon heard her shouting for them to come downstairs. Spike turned his attentions back to Buffy. She reached out and touched his leg.


“Did my blood help you?”


“Everything you do helps me,” he replied, and then he kissed her so tenderly that she had tears in her eyes when they parted.


“I love you, Spike.”


To be continued…