Lovely banner by Vette.


Chapter 22


So that was what Spike had been doing. She couldn’t believe he’d sneak behind her back to… avenge her. Should she feel guilt and remorse about the lives he had taken? The blood he had spilt?


“Why?” Buffy whispered.


Spike raked his fingers through his hair as he stood up from the couch and paced. “Because I love you!”


“But-”


“Look, I don’t care if you think I’m a monster-- okay, yeah I do care, but… if I had a chance I would do it all over again. I will. They hurt you.… What was I supposed to do?” Spike threw his hands up in a gesture of surrender as he stalked around the living room, convinced that the minute he stopped to look at Buffy, she’d gaze at him with a look of disappointment. Seeing him for the monster that he was.


“Spike-”


“I’m not sorry! I enjoyed it, alright? I could feel their bones break like twigs beneath my hands, and it left me hungry for more. And the screams? Made it all worthwhile, luv.”


He dropped to his knees in front of her, staring intensely into her eyes, baring himself open and vulnerable. “This is who I am, Buffy. I kill and I relish it.”


Buffy’s emotions were a jumbled mess, too complex for him to read, so when she slid from the couch and threw her arms around him in a fierce hug, it startled him.


“I don’t care… you’re mine! Does it make me a horrible person? Maybe… but if you think for a second that anything can make me stop loving you, then you’re… you’re a bonehead.”


“Bonehead, eh? That’s a new one.” Spike smiled and buried his face in her neck. “You’re not a horrible person. You’re not the one who did the killing-”


“But I am! You did it for me!” Buffy exclaimed.


“See? This is why I didn’t tell you. You can’t blame yourself for what I did. Every single one of the buggers-- even the humans--they deserved what was coming to them, Buffy. You know that.”


“I know,” she said, “but I feel guilty for not feeling guilty. Does that make any sense?”


“Perfect,” Spike mumbled. “You know I’m not gonna stop, right?”


“I know, but-”


“No buts,” he said.


“But-“


“Buffy-”


“I worry about you,” Buffy said quickly and leaned back to look him in the eyes. Spike brushed away the tear she had shed, and pressed his lips into hers in a gentle kiss.


“I can take care of myself, and I’ll be careful… I promise,” he whispered against her mouth. “I’ve got too much to lose to act reckless.”


“Now you’re just trying to make me all mushy,” Buffy said as she caressed his cheek.


“Is it working?”


“Maybe,” Buffy admitted and smiled.


******


The following morning, the microwave beeped and Spike took out the mug, shifting into his demonic visage as he drained it in a few greedy gulps. Drinking even just a few drops of Buffy’s blood could fill his belly for a long time, but he didn’t want to drink from her every time he was a little peckish. She wasn’t his personal blood bank.


Legs swinging back and forth as she sat on the kitchen table, Buffy watched Spike drink as she munched on an apple


“How did you find them?” she asked.


Spike rinsed the mug in the sink and turned to face her. “I paid a bloke-- a hacker-- to get into their database and he found a list of… clients-”


“Don’t kill him!” Buffy abruptly said, her eyes wide.


“What are you talking about, kitten? Don’t kill who?”


“Lukas.”


“Are you kidding me? The wanker deserves to die a horrible, gruesome death!” Spike stared at her in disbelief. “This isn’t some weird Stockholm syndrome, is it?” he asked worriedly.


“No, it’s not.” Buffy hopped off the table and threw the apple’s core into the trash can before turning to Spike. “If someone’s going to kill him, it’s going to be me.”


“Buffy-”


“No, Spike. I know that you don’t want me hurt, but this is something I have to do on my own. I need to.”


“Right. But at least let me help you, luv. I’ll watch your back without getting in the way, promise,” Spike said as he grabbed her around the waist and hauled her to him. “I’ll be a bloody saint.” He grinned and bit his lower lip.


“Yeah,” Buffy said, too distracted with the feel of him pressed against her to argue further.


“Fancy giving it a spin, Goldilocks?” Spike asked between the slight nips and licks on her throat.


“Huh?”

Her fingers buried in his soft hair, and Buffy’s eyes fluttered shut as he shifted his attention to her lips, coaxing her into a deep kiss. Her back met the counter as Spike’s hand roamed over her backside, stoking the fire burning in her veins.


They parted, their quick breath echoing in the silence of the kitchen.


“What I meant was, wanna spar?” Spike asked.


“Really?”


“Sure. You know me… always up for a bit of rough and tumble,”


Spike grinned and waggled his eyebrows. Buffy couldn’t help but laugh, and his smile widened even further.


“Hmm… love you like this,” he said, the emotions on his face shifting from teasing to tender and loving, “smiling, happy. God, you’re so beautiful.”


Buffy blushed. He caressed her cheek, gazing at her reverently. Every time his eyes met hers, she could feel the love he held for her flowing through her, warm and soothing, shutting out everything else. It was hard to believe someone could love the way Spike did. So wholly and completely, holding nothing back and giving everything he had.


“I’m not.” Her lower lip jutted out. “I have a funny nose.”


“Not funny,” he said, with a shake of his head. “Cute.”


“You’re just saying that,” Buffy said, but couldn’t help smiling.


“Fishing for compliments, are we?”


“Nope.”


“Minx,” Spike said affectionately and kissed her cheek.


******


“You ready to get your ass handed to you, Slayer?” Spike asked, grinning as they circled each other in the middle of the basement.


“Are you?” she countered, smiling at his giddiness.


They’d been training every day for the last two weeks, and Spike was nothing if not determined to make her work for it. Every time they fought, Buffy could feel the lost part of herself coming back bit by bit. The confidence and belief that she had the power to conquer her fear of being helpless.


Besides, the fact that she yet to best Spike made her only focus harder on honing her skills.


“Come and get me... if you can,” Spike said, smirking.


They met halfway. Spike, as always, too impatient and eager to wait for her to make the first move. They traded a flurry of quick blows and kicks with Spike blocking every single one of her attempts.


“Come on, luv. Try harder.”


She feigned a blow, but Spike had been anticipating her trick, avoiding the next kick to his side and grabbed her leg, pushing her to the ground. She barely avoided the fall by cartwheeling backwards and away from him. The air around them crackled with restless energy and excitement as Spike closed the distance between them.


He aimed a punch towards her face, which she blocked. Every blow they dealt or were about to receive never connected, mostly because they didn’t really want to hurt each other and the fact they were linked made it easy to guess what their next move would be. Regardless, Spike always managed to win, to pin her down and fake biting her.


“There’s my girl,” Spike said proudly, as she managed to back him against the wall.


His eyes were alight with unrestrained glee, pulling her in, distracting her enough for him to reverse their positions. Shaking off the effect he was having on her, Buffy shoved him away with all the strength she possessed, watching him stumble and fall flat on his ass.


She giggled at his stunned expression. “See? Your butt is totally mine.”


Jumping on top of him before he could spring back up, she mock staked him and grinned. “Gotcha!”


“That you did, pet. But in my defense, you got me distracted,” he pouted.


“Really?”


“You’re not wearing a bra!” His eyes immediately zeroed in on her breasts and Buffy good-naturedly rolled her eyes.


“You’re such a horndog, Spike.”


“Well… yeah.” He tugged her forward so she lay fully on top of him while straddling his hips. Before she could utter a word of protest—not that she would-- his hands were buried in her hair and his lips were devouring hers.


“Can’t get enough of your taste,” he murmured.


“Mmhmm,” Buffy agreed and reclaimed his lips in a deep kiss, letting his flavor caress her taste buds.


“You taste like marshmallows,” Buffy said, smiling.


“You got me... snuck a few of them before coming down here.”


“Like you need any more sugar,” she teased, kissing his neck. “You’re hyper enough as it is.”


“You should see me,” he panted, “after I drink coffee.”


Hands stroking his chest, Buffy giggled into his neck. “You’re the strangest vampire I’ve ever met.”


“And you’re the only one that gets away with saying that,” Spike said, as his eyes fluttered shut under Buffy’s ministrations. Shivers ran through him, and he tilted his head to the side to give Buffy better access as her tongue teased the bite mark she’d given him.


Lust licked his insides as she suckled his neck, her hands descending to delve beneath the fabric of his t-shirt to lightly scratch his stomach.


“Are you trying to kill me, luv?”


“Not yet,” Buffy whispered and ripped his tee in the middle, leaning down to kiss his chest. Feeling his muscles tremble beneath her lips and hearing his desperate gasps as she ground against his pelvis was intoxicating.


“Christ… the things you do to me…”


She slid down Spike’s form, her unbound hair tickling his skin and she was just about to unbutton his jeans when Spike gripped her wrist.


“What are you doing?” he asked, eyes hooded and slightly unfocused.


“Umm… I thought-”


“You don’t have to-”


“But… I want to,” Buffy said. “I just… want to make you feel as good as you make me feel.”


One look at her sitting between his thighs and Spike just nodded, unable to utter any sound as he watched her slide the zipper down.



Warm hands engulfed him, followed by Buffy’s lips, swollen from his kisses, wrapping around his girth, and Spike fought the urge to let it end all too quickly. He felt like William all over again, pleasured by a woman he admired and loved for the first time. Not that his human self had ever gotten this far.


Barely coherent words of praise and affection passed his lips, one hand twining itself in Buffy’s silky hair to sweep it off to one side so he could watch her. She was magnificent, so beautiful and so very his.


Buffy raised her eyes to catch Spike gazing at her as if she’d fallen from heaven. She never thought this was something she’d ever want to experience again. Not after the painful memories connected with the act itself. Spike, though, was nothing like any of the men that had abused her. Right here and right now, she was the one who held all the power. Her lips and tongue driving Spike insane with need as she drank in every expression that flitted across his face. The moans, the gasps, even an occasional whimper, whispering past his parted lips as he helplessly writhed beneath her.


She took him as far as she could, watching his eyes roll up and feeling his hand tighten in her hair as he became a slave to the passion.


“God… I’m gonna-”


Buffy just sucked harder and he growled, thrusting forward before spilling inside her mouth as she swallowed him down.


“That was,” he breathed out, “bloody amazing.”


“I like the way you taste.” Buffy’s eyes widened in response to his smoldering gaze as he tugged her upward and kissed her breathless.


They didn’t leave the basement for several hours.


TBC


Author's note: I don't have the next chapter written yet, because I didn't have time, but I'll do my best to write and post it at the end of the next week!!!