AN: New chapter!! The title is a song by Marilyn Manson ('cos I love him) and the quote is a song by Avenged Sevenfold (yep, again). Special thanks to my wonderful betas Legen and astarstillunborn, (thank you both!) and to my sister Maria, whom I had to blackmail into reading this chapter (she doesn't like BTVS, can you believe it? there're some crazy people in this world). Thanks to all the lovely people who left a review, you made my day and possibly even my week!
Disclaimer: Joss owns it all, blah, blah, blah.
Enjoy and leave a review!



CHAPTER 2: “Great Big White World”

“Not long ago you'd find the answers were so crystal clear
Within a day you found yourself living in constant fear
Can you look at yourself now? Can you look at yourself?
You can’t win this fight”

~Welcome to the family, Avenged Sevenfold~


 
“I have to ask, were you this fashion-challenged when you were alive or did your family really hate you?” Buffy ducked the fist the fledging she was currently fighting tried to hit her with and continued her one way conversation while repeatedly kneeing his stomach. “ ‘Cos, you know, dressing your relative’s body with an orange suit? Not feeling the love, here.”

The vampire however, who was clearly loosing strength, continued focused on the fight and ignored her hard-thought puns.

The fledging growled while trying to block Buffy’s stream of punches, no longer attacking, now merely defensive. Unfortunately for him, this only helped to enrage the, until now, almost amused Slayer; transforming her punches into vicious kicks.

“Oh, so this is all I got? What does a girl need to do to find a good spot of violence?” the Slayer almost growled, frustration fuelling her anger.

“Ughhh…” By this time, the vampire was barely conscious.

“Are you going to just sit there?” The only answer was the familiar sound of a vampire disintegrating when she buried the stake in his chest as he was struggling so get up.

“Didn’t think so.”

The truth was, Buffy was starting to lose it, she was always on edge these days. Though things with Glory were kind of dead (not in the literal sense, of course), they were always looking over their shoulders, expecting an attack; to think that Glory might give up was too good to be true. The waiting was getting on her nerves. Not being able to do anything but hope the hellgod didn’t find Dawn’s real identity in time made her feel frustrated. And helpless. And that was a feeling she really didn’t like.

So she patrolled, and hoped to unleash her frustration on a good fight, but so far that lone fledging with the lame clothes was the only thing she found.

Geez, you would think a town with twelve cemeteries would be crawling with vampires. This is the Hellmouth, for God’s sake!

Unfortunately, the fact that there was an apocalypse around the corner tended to make all the regular baddies uneasy, as if they sensed it somehow, so they weren’t as active as normal and preferred to keep a low profile.

And no demons to slay made the slayer really cranky. After all she wasn’t asking much, was she? Just a bit of violence before bed to distract her from the mess that was her life. And all she got was a lame fight with a fledging that lasted three minutes tops.

Not like with Spike, I bet he could go all night. Fighting, that is.

And there it was her traitorous mind making her think things she didn’t want to think about.

Spike.

She hadn’t seen him since the ‘tie-you-up-and-make-you-listen incident’ two weeks ago and it was starting to bug her. It wasn’t that she was worried or anything, but he always seemed to be around and now he was nowhere to be found. Of course, she hadn’t actually gone looking for him, for all she knew he could be in his crypt, drinking the day away and thinking about brand new ways to annoy her.

Sure, no worries here. And definitely no more thinking of the bleached menace.

Well, it was easier said than done.

As soon as she entered the front door of her house, her mother called to her from the kitchen. “Buffy, is that you?”

“Yeah,” Buffy said with a huff as she sat in the kitchen counter next to Joyce.

“How come you are back so early? Usually you patrol until much later, it’s barely midnight.”

“Well, the cemeteries were dead – no pun intended. I only slayed a fledging in Restfield.”

Joyce perked up at that, “oh, isn’t there where Spike lives? How is he? I haven’t seen him in weeks.”

Buffy paled. So much for not thinking about him. “Well, I haven’t seen him either. Since…you know, when he told me that he….well, you know.”

“Buffy, you know I was worried about him having feelings for you and how things could get out of hand but, honestly, don’t you think maybe you should have been gentler with him?”

Buffy couldn’t believe her ears. Was her mother implying that Spike was the victim here?

“Mom! He. Tied. Me. Up. And you said I should have been gentler?” she cried out, not understanding what Joyce was implying.

“Honey, I’m just saying that obviously you hurt his feelings and I don’t think that’s a wise thing to do. We need all the help we can get right now. I mean, you haven’t seen him in a while, maybe he left town?”

Buffy froze. Surely he hadn’t left Sunnydale? Of course she knew he might be hurt, but well, it was Spike. He never left. After all, how many times had she told him to skip town? But now she didn’t want him to leave. Even after everything he’d done and said two weeks ago, she was still counting on him to be there to protect Dawn when the time came. He was the only one besides her who would have a chance against Glory, so it was completely normal for her to rely on him.

He was just convenient; it wasn’t like she trusted him or anything, right?

Yeah, keep telling yourself that.

Anyway, even if she trusted Spike, no matter what, he was still a soulless monster. And that line of thought brought her back to what Spike had said that night.

* “Are you saying a soul is the only thing that makes someone capable of love? Why do you think I stayed with Dru for over a century?” *

Why, indeed? If she was being honest, it was pretty clear that Spike, without a soul, could and did feel for Drusilla, but what did that mean? Were all demons sentient beings or was it just Spike? Angelus clearly didn’t feel anything for anyone besides himself so, maybe, just maybe Spike deserved the benefit of the doubt. Things didn’t seem to be black and white anymore; instead, grey areas seemed to appear, defying the teachings of the Council. Everything was confusing, but maybe it was just that he was different.

Her musings were interrupted when a glaring Dawn came into the kitchen (from where she had been eavesdropping, of course) and stood before her.

“So you finally made him leave town? The only person who didn’t treat me like a freak and you had to be a bitch to him!”

“Dawn, language!”Joyce gasped.

“Well, it’s not like it isn’t true,” the teenager answered, flicking her hair.
 
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Buffy didn´t know why she was doing this; she just needed to know if he really had left or not. So there she was, roaming Restfield cemetery hours after her usual patrol time. When she reached his crypt however, she was overcome with sudden nervousness.

What if he really is here and I make a fool of myself?

She stood there for what seemed like hours, but in reality were just minutes. Finally she took a deep breath and kicked open the door (after all, it was what she always did and she couldn’t just fall out of character).

As soon as she was inside of the crypt she knew something was wrong. Spike wasn’t there slumped over the easy chair watching TV as always, but of course, that didn’t mean he wasn’t in town, seeing as how it was still nighttime and he could go wherever he pleased. Well, sunlight didn’t usually stop him, either. No, everything seemed normal, no signs of a fight or anything (except for a couple of smashed bottles by the door, no doubt destroyed in a fit of temper) but she had the feeling that the crypt had been empty for a while.

Still, she started looking for something out of place and went to check the small fridge on the corner of the room. There were only a half empty bottle of beer and two bags of pig’s blood. It was easy to notice that they were both spoiled. She had her answer now; nobody had been living in the crypt for the last weeks.

Spike was gone.


tbc...


End Notes: Ok, don't hate me. I know you probably want to know what's up with Spike, but I swear you'll find out in next chapter which I'll be posting in a few days. Maybe even sooner if you leave a review ;)