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A Very Strange Vampire by slaymesoftly
 
Three
 
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CHAPTER THREE  
Buffy woke up to find herself covered by a lightweight blanket and Spike sprawled in the chair, eyeing the approaching sun with apprehension. She stood up and stretched, blushing at the way he was running his eyes over her body.
 
“Stop perving on me and come over here,” she ordered. “You can sleep where I was and the sun won’t reach you.”  She waited while he obediently approached the couch and stretched out upon it, smiling up at her as he put his arms behind his head.  Trying to ignore the bulging biceps and flat stomach his tight tee-shirt was showing off, she tossed the blanket at him. “Promise me you won’t do anything to make Giles stake you before I get back,” she said.
 
“Don’t think that’s likely to happen, luv. Do you?” The look he gave her was cold and calculating, with no trace of humor.
 
She shook her head. “If you’re asking me can you beat him in a fight, of course you can. But Giles has... hidden depths. And he’s an experienced Watcher.”
 
“And a brave man,” he said, nodding as he remembered watching Giles come after Angelus with only a torch and a stake.  “You’re right. He could get lucky. I’ll be on my best behavior.”
 
“Probably do you more good to be on somebody else’s best behavior. I’m not sure yours would qualify...”
 
“You’d be surprised, Slayer.  I’ll have to show you someday, how good I can be.” He gave her a lascivious grin, curling his tongue up to the roof of his mouth.
 
Before she had stopped glaring and blushing, he winked at her and rolled over, putting the blanket over his head and going completely still. Mentally scolding herself for letting him get to her, she left the apartment and jogged toward campus.
 
~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Giles came down several hours later, running a quick eye over the shape under the blanket before going into the kitchen. Spike’s coat was still draped over the chair he’d sat in, and the body under the blanket was too long to belong to Buffy and the scuffed boots sticking out were something that even Giles knew she wouldn’t be caught dead in. Bad choice of metaphor there, Rupert .
 
As the morning wore on, Giles became so accustomed to the still figure in his living room, that he eventually dropped his wariness and stopped reaching for a cross or holy water every time there was a sound.  It wasn’t until well after noon that Spike stirred, throwing off the blanket and stretching before sitting up.
 
“Don’t suppose you keep blood in your fridge,” he greeted the other man. “Could do with a spot of breakfast.”
 
“I do not,” Giles replied. “I am unaccustomed to hosting guests with such unusual nutrition requirements.”
 
“Ah well, then. I’ll just have whatever you’re havin’.” Spike walked to the kitchen and opened the refrigerator, taking out a piece of raw meat and beginning to tear into it.  “This will do nicely,” he growled around his fangs, ignoring Giles’ horrified stare.
 
“That piece of very expensive steak was meant to be my evening meal!” Giles finally recovered enough to say.
 
“It’s loaded with fat. Bad for your arteries,” Spike smirked, licking his lips and fingers until there was no trace of blood. “I did you a favor.  You can thank me later.”  He strolled past the vigorously cursing man and threw himself back down on the couch, grabbing the TV remote as he did so.  “I hope I haven’t missed Passions. I think Timmy is still down the well...”
 
“Remind me to have Buffy stake you when she returns,” Giles muttered.
 
“Hey! She made me promise not to do anything that would make you try to stake me. Really not cricket to be throwing it back on the Slayer, is it?”
 
“I feel certain she will forgive me,” Giles said, sitting behind his desk and fingering the crossbow resting on it. “Given the provocation...”
 
“I ate a piece of meat,” Spike scoffed. “Instead of sampling some of the, no doubt tasteless, blood flowing so visibly through your veins.  Your face is really an appetizing shade of red just now...” Spike looked wistful for a moment, causing Giles to blanch and hold up the large cross in his other hand. “Oh relax, old man. Promised the Slayer, didn’t I? That steak will hold me until I get a chance to have the real thing.”
 
“You don’t seriously expect Buffy to send you out to dine on the population of Sunnydale, do you?”
 
Spike sighed. “I s’pose not. Being the goody-two-shoes Slayer that she is. I’ll probably have to bag it until we sort this out.”
 
Choosing to ignore Spike’s willingness to drink bagged blood, as not being within the realm of possibility, Giles instead tried to get clarification of the second part of the vampire’s remark.
 
“Until you sort what out?”
 
Spike looked surprised. “Until we sort out how to discourage the demon-hunting soldiers from thinking that the Slayer should be on their list, of course. Or were you just planning to hope they’d forget about her?”
 
It was Giles’s turn to look surprised. “What do you care what happens to Buffy? I’d think you’d be on your way out of town as soon as it gets dark.”
 
Spike coughed and shifted his eyes around the room before admitting, “Kind of promised one of my mates I’d look for his brother. Plus, Slayer and I have a truce now – common enemy and all that. Wouldn’t leave her here to take them on all by herself.”  He looked offended for a moment, then realized the Watcher was staring at him with eyes that were much too perceptive.  “Bloody bitch is mine to kill,” he said quickly. “Where’s the glory in runnin’ off and leaving her to fight men with guns?”
 
“You are a very strange vampire,” Giles said, shaking his head. “So very different from An—”
 
A guttural snarl interrupted him. “If you are about to compare me to my wanker of a grandsire, I will rip your throat out and square it with the Slayer later.”
 
“Point taken,” Giles said with a sigh. “I didn’t mean of be offensive.”
 
“Never do that again,” Spike said, his voice cold and his expression more frightening than the snarl. “I am not like him and I never will be... with or without his soul.”  Giles studied the vampire’s face for a moment, then nodded at what he saw there.  “My apologies,” he said.  Without further comment, he reached for a tablet and pen. “While we await Buffy’s return, would you object to clearing up some discrepancies in the Watcher’s Diaries?”
 
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
 
Buffy left campus, dressed for the evening’s planned excursion to Spike’s former hide-out. “Wherever that is,” she muttered, turning into the butcher’s at the last second. She was soon on her way again, a bag of fresh pig blood in her hand. She entered the apartment and handed the bag to Spike without comment, her expression daring him to say anything. Giving her a small smile, he took the bag into the kitchen and began searching the cabinets.
 
“To your right,” Giles said, earning a nod from Spike and a startled “whoa!” from Buffy. 
 
“I kinda thought I’d find you guys trying to kill each other,” she said, glancing from Giles to Spike and back.
 
“We got over it,” Spike said without looking up from the microwave’s dials.  Buffy looked at Giles, who nodded in agreement.
 
“It’s been a rather productive afternoon,” he said, patting the tablet that was now covered with notes. “Even allowing for some exaggeration and... some omission ..” Giles gave a growling Spike an “oh please” before continuing. “Even allowing for those things, Spike has been very helpful about filling in missing data in the Council’s accounts.”
 
“Huh!”  Buffy sat down and shook her head.  “Who knew?”  She waited for Spike to come back and sit at the other end of the couch, sipping his mug of pig’s blood and making a face. “Would you rather have gone hungry?” she snapped when he visibly forced himself to drink the warm animal blood.
 
“Sorry, luv,” he said, shocking her into silence. “Don’t mean to appear ungrateful. It’s just...” He sighed. “Thank you, Slayer. You took your time and spent your money to buy me something to eat, and I’m being a wanker about it.”
 
“Okaaaay. Who are you and what have you done with Spike?”
 
A muffled growl was the only reply as he tilted the mug up and drained it. Buffy walked to the window and peered out from behind the shade. It had become dark enough that it would be safe for Spike to go out, but was still light enough for Buffy to see that the parking area held no armed men looking for vampires and demons.
 
“Let’s go, Spike. If we find those maps soon enough, we might have time to go looking for whatever it is we’re looking for...”
 
Giles stood and followed Spike to the door. While the vampire shrugged into his coat, Giles asked Buffy, “What are your plans?”
 
“Well, if Spike’s right and he’s got maps of underground Sunnydale, I’m hoping we can find where these guys might be hiding the vamps and demons they’re catching.  If we can do that, we’ll be able to get a better idea of who they are and why they’re here.  That’s the plan, anyway.”
 
“Just so the plan doesn’t include your own capture,” Giles said with a sigh. “Speaking of which, how did your classes go today?”
 
Buffy shrugged. “Pretty much like usual, if usual meant Riley or one of his ‘fraternity brothers’ was always hanging around watching me. It got so I thought they were going to follow me into the ladies room at lunch time.” She frowned. “Funny thing was, none of them talked to me. They just were always in the same places. Even Riley only said ‘hi’ and then went to stand by Professor Walsh. I’d swear they were talking about me, but that would be crazy...”
 
“Well, be careful and report back to me if it isn’t terribly late.”
 
“’k, let’s go, Spike.”
 
Giles frowned as Buffy and the vampire who’d already killed two slayers walked off like old friends.
 
~~~~~~~~~~ 
 
“So, where is this ‘hide-out’ and why didn’t I find it?”
 
“Didn’t know to be looking for it, did you? You thought I’d scampered off like a good little vampire when you threatened me at that party.  Didn’t do it. Went looking for my gem instead.  And found it.”
 
“Stop calling it yours. It was never ‘yours’, it was something really old that you found. And now it’s mine.”
 
“I spent weeks looking for that ring!” he growled. “Putting up with incompetent minions, Harm’s mouth—”
 
“Speaking of Harmony, where is she? Is she going to be looking for you?”
 
“Doubt it,” he said without explanation.
 
“Oh.” Buffy remembered Willow telling her about finding Harmony crying in the crypt full of jewelry. “That’s right, you staked her. “ She glanced at him from the corner of her eyes. “There are easier ways to break up, you know.”
 
“Easier than making the ex go ‘poof’? Kinda doubt it, Slayer. Anyway, she had the ring on. Didn’t dust. I was so happy to have it I didn’t bother to try again.  Pretty sure I’m not on her list of exes she’s anxious to see though.”
 
“Yeah, I can see where that would be a real relationship killer.”
 
“That wasn’t a relationship,” he growled.
 
“No? What was it then? She called you her boyfriend.”
 
“She also thinks unicorns are real,” Spike said.
 
“Point.”
 
“Too bloody right. If those ninja wankers snatched up Harm, I can just about guarantee after an hour of her incessant prattling, they’d either cut her loose or dust her.” They walked in silence for a few minutes, Buffy trying to decide if Spike was really as unfeeling as he seemed. After a few minutes he nudged her arm. “You’re thinkin’ I’m the poorest excuse for a man as you’ve seen since that wanker that dumped you, aren’t you?”
 
Buffy winced at the reminder about Parker. She’d forgotten that Spike had witnessed her humiliation that day.  “Pretty much, yeah,” she admitted. “You’re both pond scum.”
 
“Admit it, luv. I had a lot more reason to want to be rid of my ‘ex’ than he did. He had you. All I had was... Harmony.”
 
Buffy frowned, trying to decide if she’d just been paid some sort of compliment. While she was thinking, Spike spoke again.
 
“How did you know I tried to stake Harm?”
 
“Oh, Giles and Xander and Willow were right behind you. I guess they must have found your hide out... Anyway, when they got there she was crying and saying what a jerk you were. That’s why they looked so frantic when they came to rescue me. Giles figured out you had found the Gem.”
 
“The watcher didn’t stake her?” 
 
Buffy looked away and cleared her throat. “Well, no. I mean – it was Harmony. I guess he just figured she’s so stupid she’ll walk into the sun or something.” She looked at him from the corner of her eye. “She was crying and looking for sympathy. It would have been like... like...”
 
“Shootin’ fish in barrel?” She could hear the grin in his voice. “Takin’ candy from a baby?”
 
“Something like that, yeah.” She sighed. “I told him I’d do it later, when I... felt better.... But I haven’t done it yet.  I guess that makes me a bad slayer, huh?”
 
“’Bout as bad a slayer as letting you go when I had my fangs on you makes me a miserable excuse for a vampire,” he agreed. “Bad as we are, it’s a wonder anybody’s afraid of us.” He bumped her with his shoulder. “Isn’t that right, Slayer?”
 
Buffy laughed and pushed him off. “Speak for yourself, William.”
 
“Here we are, pet.” He gestured for her to go ahead of him into the side of the hill.
 
“Hey? Isn’t this...?”
 
“Yeah. Is. Quickest safe way I know to get back to my lair. We’ll just drop down into the tunnel and follow it back to the cave.”
 
True to his word, and ignoring the piles of treasure around them, Spike dropped down through the ceiling of the tunnel and began walking back toward Sunnydale, Buffy hastened behind him, her own eyes unable to see in the now perfect darkness. When she tripped and stumbled into him, he whirled and growled at her before realizing what was wrong. “Sorry, Slayer. I forgot you can’t see like I can. Here, give me your hand.”
 
Without waiting to see what she would say, he took her hand and pulled her close to his back, putting her hands on his waist. “Just hang on and stay right behind me,” he said, setting off at a somewhat slower pace to accommodate her shorter legs.  Through the soft leather of his coat, Buffy could feel his muscles flexing and releasing as he turned from time to time to scent the air and be sure they were heading the right way.  When they noticed the dim glow ahead, he stopped and she bumped into his back.
 
“If you wanted to get closer, pet, all you had to do was say so,” he whispered over his shoulder.
 
“In your dreams... Why did you stop?” In spite of her question, she kept her voice just as low as his, trusting he had a good reason for being quiet.
 
“Lights ahead,” he said, “and thought I heard voices.”
 
“Oh.” Buffy peered around him, seeing the glow some distance away. “Is that your... lair?”
 
“Should be. Best let me go ahead and see what’s what,” he whispered. “If there are vamps there, they’ll hear your heartbeat before you get close enough to do any damage.”
 
“I don’t care if they know I’m coming. And I’m not staying here by myself.” Buffy renewed her grip on his sides. “Let’s go.”
 
Spike’s only response was a sigh as he began moving forward. They made it all the way to the hole leading into the lair before any of the vampires in there noticed them. 
 
“Blondie Bear!” Harmony’s piercing shriek had even Buffy holding her ears. 
 
“I thought you said you were done with him,” a big vampire in a letter jacket growled, glaring at Spike.  “Oh. Look he brought his own blonde. Good thing,” he sneered as Buffy stepped out from behind Spike.
 
“Buffy? What are you doing here? You can’t come in here. It’s my lair. No slayers allowed.”
 
Buffy rolled her eyes and muttered to Spike, “You dated her for how long?”
 
“Too long,” he said. “But in my defense, I’m not used to being alone and she’s got one hell of a— Right. Not anything you need to know, I guess.”
 
While Spike and Buffy held their short conversation, Harmony and her minions stared at them. The big one said, “Should we get them now, mistress?”
 
Harmony turned to gape at him. “You moron. That’s Spike. My ex. He’ll tear you apart now that he’s seen you with me. He’s terribly jealous.”  She preened and smiled at Spike. “I’m not really dating any of them. I just let them think I would so I could have minions. You shouldn’t hurt them.”
 
Buffy gawked at Harmony. “Minions? You have minions?” She rolled her eyes at Spike. “Crap. I am  a bad slayer.” 
 
He snorted in amusement at her momentary dismay. “I’m as amazed as you are, Slayer.”
 
“Buffy, what are you doing here?” Harmony remembered that Spike hadn’t come alone and she turned her gaze back to Buffy.  “And why hasn’t Spike killed you? He said he was going to.”
 
“You said that, did you?” Buffy smirked at Spike.
 
“You can’t believe anything that stupid bint says, Slayer.” Spike shuffled his feet and managed to appear ashamed and furious at the same time. “And anyway, we didn’t have a truce then.”
 
Trying to regain control of the situation, Harmony looked Buffy up and down and sniffed. “You’re in college now, Buffy. Shouldn’t you be learning to dress better? Those pants are so last year.”
 
“Hey! These are my favorite slaying pants I’ll have you know!” 
 
“I’m sure there’s nothing that says you can’t be fashionable while you slay,” Harmony said with what she thought was great patience.  “But that never was your thing, was it? And by the way, what are you doing with my boyfriend?”
 
Buffy glanced at Spike.  “You don’t mind if I stake her, do you?”
 
He shook his head. “Knock yourself out, luv. Bint means nothing to me.”
 
Harmony gasped, but began to move behind her minions who had decided to take things into their own hands and charge Spike and Buffy. While Spike toyed with the jock-minion, Buffy twirled, punched and kicked her way through the other three, leaving piles of dust on the floor. Harmony, who, in spite of knowing who and what Buffy was had never seen her in action, turned even paler. When Buffy turned to watch Spike dancing around the over-matched minion, Harmony ran out of the cave entrance and into the welcoming night vowing never to criticize Buffy’s clothing ever again.
 
 
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