Chapter 20

 

The Scoobies arrived back at Revello and each headed off to organize their coming day in Sunnydale.  Spike, Buffy and Giles headed towards the living room deep in discussion about how to approach Samuel for his assistance.  

Rebecca watched the trio disappear through the door before heading downstairs to her newly finished bedroom.  Xander had erected two partitions in the basement effectively forming an enclosed room.  A sliding door was placed facing the stairs so that the couple had direct access upstairs.  Rebecca perched wearily on the edge of the bed and waited. Closing her eyes for a moment, she smiled to herself when she heard the first sound of feet pounding down on the stairs. 

  “Hello Xander.” she opened her eyes to see the startled look on his face.  “Did you want something?  Come in and we’ll have a chat.”  She patted the bed beside her, the only other seating at present being a small uncomfortable looking stool.  

Xander ignored Rebecca’s invitation, hovering near the door to the room “I don’t like what’s happening with Buffy.  This thing," h e spat the word out, “ t hat’s going on with the three of you.  It’s not right.  It shouldn’t be happening.”  Xander moved further into the small room “I know it’s hard for you.  I know that everything must be really strange.  But this weird relationship thing you and Spike seem to have with Buffy, it’s wrong.”  Xander ran a hand through his hair bunching it in his fist in frustration.  He desperately tried to find the words to explain his feelings without distressing the very pregnant woman before him.  

Rebecca studied him for a few moments, her eyes flashed briefly as she came to a decision.  “Do you know why I came here Xander?”  The whispered words seemed to float into the room, Xander stilled as he searched Rebecca’s face for an answer.  

“You came with Giles to find out what happened to you, why you were back.” Xander waited for her agreement.  Rebecca sighed and closed her eyes.  She seemed to be gathering herself, calming her mind and drawing on a hidden strength.  Xander was struck by how much this action reminded him of Spike.  

Rebecca reached out pulling Xander to sit beside her; she didn’t look at him but kept her eyes trained on the floor.  “That’s not why I came.” She turned to look at him, holding his eyes in her steady gaze “That’s what Giles thought too, I didn’t tell him the real reason.”  She rubbed her hands across the bed covers nervously; although she never broke eye contact with him “I came here to die, Xander.”  

The words were said calmly, emotionlessly; without fear, anger, sadness. Nothing. Just a few simple sounds that could change the world around him.  Xander wondered at the detachment in her voice. “Why?”  It was all he could think to say.  

Rebecca smiled showing the barest hint of sadness “I’m not meant to be here and while I am, Buffy will never be whole; she’ll forever be missing a part of her essence.” She took another bracing breath before continuing “I arrived here fully expecting to perform a ritual which would send my essence back to ether so that the missing piece could be returned to Buffy.  Then I found William again and I found that I couldn’t….” Rebecca broke off; her eyes beseeching him for understanding “I wanted what was taken from me; I wanted a chance to have the life I lost.” She absently rubbed her swollen stomach her face taking on a distant look “I’m being selfish, I suppose and Buffy is suffering for it.”   

Xander couldn’t fathom what he was hearing; his mind raced and whirled at her words.  He could feel the regret surging inside of him for the suffering he and the others had caused with their resurrection spell.  “I’m sorry” It was all he could think to say “We didn’t know, I mean how could we?”  

Rebecca sighed “I was so angry with you all.  I was brought back to a world I didn’t know just so I could sacrifice myself for it again.”  She turned to face him. “You can never comprehend what you did to me, what you did to Buffy."  Tears started to slide down Rebecca’s face.  

Xander could feel the moisture welling in his own eyes.  

“When I arrived here and found William, I knew that I couldn’t do that again.”  She seemed to be pleading for understanding “I couldn’t give up everything again, I couldn’t make that sacrifice.  Because of that, Buffy will forever remain incomplete; she will always be searching for that missing piece.  Being close to us, to me, it helps her.”  Rebecca searched his face waiting for that look of comprehension.  “When Buffy is with William and I, what do you feel?”  

Xander closed his eyes and tried to ignore the truth that was pushing itself out of the dark little corner his soul “I feel her peace, like she’s resting.  I don’t know how else to explain it.”  

“I think Buffy is able to draw what she needs through the familial claim; physical closeness also seems to strengthen it.”  Rebecca tried for her most reassuring smile “I was going to speak to Tara and Willow about it, I think, given enough time that Buffy will be able to heal completely.”  

Xander latched onto that thought “So this is temporary.”  He seemed pleased with this thought “So in a few weeks Buffy will be back to her old ‘I hate Spike’ self and all will be right in the world again.”  

“Xander I don’t think ….” Suddenly Rebecca was pulled into a crushing hug before being abruptly released.  

Xander was practically bouncing with delight as he made his way back upstairs.  

Rebecca sighed as she lay back on the bed to rest. ‘There was just no getting through to that man’.  

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*  

The next week passed much as before with two exceptions.  Dawn’s powers had increased so much that she had managed to create a permanent, stable portal to Midian inside the summer’s home.  Situated at the end of the upstairs hall, members of the group could now come and go as they pleased.  

The other was Xander's behaviour; he now shadowed Buffy constantly watching her.  It was as if he was waiting for the moment when she realised that she no longer cared about Spike in any way shape or form and kicked his ass.  His current position was perched on the back porch watching Rebecca naming the different plants in the yard while Buffy nodded and muttered “Flower pretty”.  Willow and Tara lazed on a couple of sun lounges nestled under a shady tree as they watched the two Slayers joke around in the sun.  

Giles and Anya were inside preparing for a trip to England.  It had been decided that the pair would contact Samuel under the guise of introducing Anya to the family.  If they decided that Samuel would be amenable to aiding them, they would approach him for assistance.  Dawn and Spike were with them, going over last minute details; Dawn had discovered that she merely needed to be able picture a person and she was able to open a portal close to them.  If Giles and Anya were able to enter the Council undetected Anya would teleport back and inform them so Dawn could then create a backdoor into building.  

Xander watched as Buffy and Rebecca joked around in the yard, he could hear the faint murmurs of those inside, but his focus was solely on Buffy.  He had watched her carefully over the week and was sure he could see signs of her recovery.  A small voice in his head kept repeating ‘ soon soon’ and he was eager to see the first signs of her detachment from Spike.  He jolted suddenly as a scream pierced the air and Rebecca fell to the ground.  

Buffy had turned away from Rebecca laughing when she had felt a trembling of fear flit across her heart, she spun back around to face her just in time to hear her agonized scream and see her fall to the ground clutching her chest.  Rebecca stared up at her with wide fearful eyes, reaching her hand upwards Buffy could see that it was covered in blood; she could also see three jagged slashes running diagonally from her left shoulder to her waist.   

Buffy immediately took on a defensive stance as she spun around looking for the source of the attack.  “Willow! Tara! Can you see it?”  She turned sharply again ‘Where is it , where is it? ’  Buffy was barely aware of the others emerging from inside each taking a defensive position around the fallen slayer.   

“Willow has the barrier fallen?”  Giles searched the yard for danger.  

Willow and Tara had been chanting softly ever since Rebecca had fallen, Tara turned tear filled eyes towards him. “No the barrier is still up.  There’s nothing here Giles, there’s no reason…..” she broke off as she caught site of Spike kneeling beside his wife.  

Spike looked down at Rebecca, the world around him fading into muted sounds and colours; his only focus was his beloved.  He gently brushed the hair from her face, a small streak of red left a trail where his fingers had caressed her.  Numbly he stared at his hands and saw that they were covered in a sticky red substance ‘Blood’ his mind told him, although he couldn’t fully comprehend how it had gotten there.  He saw them then, the three large gashes that were allowing his wife’s life blood to escape and fall to the ground, soaking it, soaking him.  Desperately he pressed his hands against the wounds trying to stem the flow ‘Keep it in, gotta keep it in, gotta stop….it’s all about the blood, blood is life.’    

“William” the soft voice pulled at him “hold me?”  

With exaggerated care, he gently pulled Rebecca into his arms, cradling her tenderly pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss.  “Its ok luv, we’ll fix you up in no time.”  

A lone tear coursed its way down her cheek. “I love you William” she sighed softly before closing her eyes.  

“I love you Rebecca” Spike let his lips caress each of her closed lids in turn “Sleep now love, gather your strength.”   

He started slightly as a small warm hand touched his back “Spike” he turned to look into Tara’s tearstained face.   

“She’s sleeping” he told her woodenly.  

“Oh Spike” Tara let the tears fall unchecked “no she’s not.”  

With those few softly spoken words, the world came crashing back in on him with alarming speed.  He looked at each of the Scoobies in turn and each wore an identical mask of grief, slowly understanding began to emerge all the while he struggled to push it back down.  ‘ If he didn’t acknowledge it then it wasn’t real, his Rebecca was merely sleeping, she was hurt yes, but she only needed to rest, she would wake up soon and she would show them all that she wasn’t…’  

‘DEAD’ the word screamed in is brain, rumbled through his body, filled every pore with its truth ‘DEAD’ he could feel it’s truth rising up to choke him, sticking in his throat until it finally broke free, clawing and tearing its way out.  He could hear an unearthly howling filling the air, it hurt his ears to hear it and it hurt his throat to make it but he couldn’t stop.  He turned his face to the sky and felt the sun caressing his face with its warmth, ‘Wrong, why was the sky light, why was there warmth when his love was cold and shrouded in the darkness of death.  That’s where he should be in the dark, the cold.  How could he, a monster, be allowed to feel the warmth of the day when his Rebecca was alone in the dark?’   His hand began to claw at the ring that adorned his finger, the one thing that was keeping him from joining his wife.  

Buffy watched as Spike wept over Rebecca’s body, pain wracking his every movement. She winced as his howls rent the air and she panicked when she saw him wrench the ring from his finger.  Launching herself toward him she tore him from Rebecca and propelled him towards the shade of the porch.  Smoke was starting to waft up from his exposed flesh and the smell of burning flesh began to fill the air.  Spike struggled to return to Rebecca’s side howling his fury at this intrusion.  “Help me!” Willow Tara and Dawn rushed forward to help Buffy wrestle the desperate vampire inside and out of the deadly suns reach.  

“Xander!” Giles approached the young man who was standing motionless in his shock “Could you help me with…..” he gestured  towards Rebecca “We need to take her inside to Spike”  Xander looked on in confusion as Giles moved to gather Rebecca in his arms “Please Xander”  

‘Rebecca was dead.  Dead huh.  She said there was a spell didn’t she?  So we can make Buffy whole again.  She won’t need Spike anymore.’   Xander suddenly grinned everything was going to be fine now, as it should be.  Happily he stepped forward “Let me get the door for you G-man”  

Giles stared at him dumfounded before making his way inside with the young slayer’s body.  Xander's attitude settling heavily in the pit of his stomach ‘He would have to watch him; there was something seriously wrong with that boy.’  

Giles stood just inside the doorway and cleared his throat “Spike….William perhaps you would like to take Rebecca downstairs where she’ll be more” he winced as he spoke the next word “comfortable.”  

Spike immediately stopped his struggles and moved forward to take his wife.  Nodding his thanks, he headed downstairs and lovingly laid Rebecca on their bed before stretching out beside her and pulling her close.  Shortly afterwards Buffy entered the room silently moving to lay beside him softly whispering words or comfort as she tried to ease his pain.  

Giles looked around for Anya feeling the need to have her close; he spotted her still outside looking down at the spot where Rebecca’s blood marked the ground.  He watched as she bent to pick something up from the mess and made her way inside.  

Anya opened her hand to show Giles the bloodstained ring that she now possessed, moving to the sink she turned on the tap and watched as the water washed the stains away.  She felt Rupert move behind her and wrap his arms around her waist “He’ll need this later” she informed him abruptly before pulling away to place it on top of the refrigerator.  Hugging herself lightly she turned to voice the thought that had been foremost in her mind since Rebecca had died “Rupert what about the baby?”  

“Oh dear lord, I’d completely forgotten, how could I…” Giles glanced at the door to the basement ‘how on earth would Spike react when he realised that he lost his child as well.’  

Buffy had lain beside Spike quietly trying to soothe him for about a half hour when a movement by the door caught her eye.  

Tara stood nervously in the doorway holding a bowl and some towels “I I thought perhaps…..Spike might want to…” she stopped and took a moment to gather herself “I thought that you might like to clean Rebecca up.”  

Buffy felt tears burn her eyes again as she nodded her thanks, “Tara”  

“Come in Glinda”  

Buffy started slightly as Spike rolled onto his back, she quickly scooted off the side of the bed.  She could see the redness that surrounded his eyes, the dull pain that they reflected and supposed that they all showed the same sorrow.  

Spike eased himself of the bed and moved to take the bowl from Tara. “Thank you.” He dropped a kiss on her forehead and moved to set the bowl down beside the bed.  

“Spike,” Buffy moved up behind him “Why don’t you go get cleaned up too, Tara and I will start here.  I’ll bring you some fresh clothes.”  

“I don’t want to leave her alone,” Spike whispered.  

“We’ll be here,” Buffy reassured him “She won’t be alone, if you want just go to the laundry basin and wash up, that way you won’t be far.  

Spike nodded his assent as Tara handed him a towel and some soap. “I won’t be long”  

Tara and Buffy moved to the bed. “We need to get this dress off her”  

Tara began to undo the buttons as Buffy searched for something suitable amongst Rebecca’s clothes.  She finally selected a soft blue maternity dress that buttoned down the front, moving back to the bed she watched as Tara finished removing Rebecca’s bloody and torn dress.  

“Where are the others?” Buffy asked absently  

“Xander went to get everyone something to eat” Tara didn’t want to mention his unusually happy mood to Buffy at the moment “And the others are in the dining room.  I think” Tara gasped as her hand brushed across Rebecca’s swollen stomach “Oh goddess the baby”  

A low whimper of pain sounded from the doorway and they both turned to see Spike staring at Rebecca, a fresh wave of anguishing marring his face.  

Tara couldn’t bear to see his pain any longer and rushed upstairs in search of Willow’s comforting arms.  

Buffy could only stand and watch as Spike rushed towards the bed and pressed his face against Rebecca’s stomach “How could I forget.  How?” he pleaded with her “It’s my fault they're gone, I don’t deserve them.  I...” he broke off suddenly.  

“Spike, it’s not your fault. Please believe that”   

“Shut up” he snapped.  Buffy stared at him in shock, then confusion as he pressed his ear flat against Rebecca’s stomach once again.  “I can hear it.”  

“Hear what”  

“A heartbeat, weak, slow but it's still there” Spike held his hand up to silence Buffy as she went to speak “I’m not imagining it Buffy, I can hear the baby's heartbeat”  

Buffy’s hand covered her mouth as she tried to contain her shock.

 “GILES!” She suddenly screamed “Giles will know what to do” she frantically raced upstairs in search of help.  

As she tore into the dining room Buffy pulled up short, the others were in the process of standing; obviously they were coming to see what she screamed about.  That was not what had stopped Buffy though, behind them two ghostly shapes were taking form and solidifying.  “Mommy” Buffy gasped as the face of one of the figures became visible.  

“Hello sweetheart” Joyce said “This is Anne” she motioned to the figure beside her “We believe we have a baby to deliver.”