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True Colors by TalesofSpike
 
Chapter 1:05
 
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SECTION 1 - LEAP OF FAITH

And it's a leap of faith
When you believe there's someone out there
It's a leap of faith
When you believe that
Someone cares, oh
And when I call out to you
Will you be right there
Right there

(Michelle Branch, Album Broken Bracelet)



Chapter 1.05
Monday, May 6th, 2002

"How is it you keep surprising me?" Buffy asked Spike.

"I could ask you the same thing. Only difference is I thought I knew more about you than you knew about me. So how is it you can quote Shelley?"

"Half a semester with Professor Lillian, and they used it on a Twin Peaks rerun on the Sci-Fi channel the other week, but only the end bit. I liked that class. Professor Lillian was a sweetie and at least I understood what he was talking about. Not like that class I went to with Willow." Buffy sighed.

"What's up, pet?" Spike asked.

"I re-applied for college, but they turned me down because I didn't re-apply early enough, like while I was dead."

"How long have you known?"

"That would be the morning after the night I spent trying to get the grass stains out of what was my new wool coat that ended up in the bin." She fixed him with an accusing stare.

"You mean that mustard yellow duffle coat thing? It was a mercy killing. That was ages ago. Did you talk to Pixie or Red or the Watcher about it?"

"No. I didn't tell anyone. Nobody. it seemed like there wasn't."

"Shh, pet. I know things were strained between us but I was always there to listen to you any time you needed it. I always will be. Don't suppose you checked to see if you could have your credits transferred over to a community college course?"

"No. Kinda figured I'd just mucked up college altogether. Didn't want to talk about it to Willow and Tara with them being all big with the studying. I suppose I could have told Giles, with him being a drop-out, but he said he left to make me stand on my own feet."

"Next time me and your watcher are on the same continent, pet, I think it's safe to say we'll have words. Why don't you pick up a prospectus for the next semester and try and make an appointment to speak to someone about whether you can salvage any credits."

"Will, there's no way I can afford to go back to college even part-time."

"Look, pet. You want to go back to college. I want you to be happy. If you insist we can call it a loan. You know if you get a decent job after college you could pay me back over two or three years and you know without an education you're likely looking at one minimum wage job after another. No ulterior motive, I'm not going to demand any money back or refuse to give you the money for the rest of the course if we split up. If anything happens to me, it all goes to you and Bit anyway.

Think how stupid you'd feel if you said no now and two years from now we were either married or I was dust and you were trying to go back and do this after another two years in a job you don't like and the credits you've got have expired."

"And think how stupid you'll feel if you pay for me to go to college for two years and then I die before I can get a proper job and pay you back."

"Love, you're not leaving me here alone again. If you die again I'll not be sticking round for longer than it takes to see one last sunrise."

"Dawn-"

"Dawn isn't a little kid any more. She's nearly old enough to be treated as an emancipated minor and what I'd leave her would give her the house free and clear, pay her a decent allowance and the rest would stay in trust for her until she's twenty-one. She would be okay."

"No. She wouldn't, you selfish bastard. She loves you. What do you think it would do to her to lose both of us the same day? -"

"Well, you better not go sacrificing yourself for some greater good then, because I'd rather spend five months under torture with that hell-bitch, Glory, than re-live the time when you were dead. I refuse to go through that again for anyone, even Dawn. And you can either like it or lump it, 'cause by definition you ain't goin' to be here to do anything about it."

The pair glared at each other in silence.

"Quitter," she spat.

"Yeah, like you were so happy to be back, and that was with me, your sister and all your mates to come back to."

"This discussion is not over. You ever think maybe it might take more than a couple of years helping out the good guys before there's a chance we'll end up in the same place?"

"Slayer, we're never going to end up in the same place. You might end up with wussy-boy William, but I'm a demon. At the end of my time on earth I'm going somewhere warm. I came to terms with that a long time ago. If I can share what time I have with you that's as much of heaven as I need."

"Stubborn, pig-headed vampire. Don't think I won't talk to the priest about this next time I'm scrounging up some holy water. We'll see about this 'damned' business."

"Think about it, pet. The bloody holy water you're talkin' about gives me blisters. I think that's as much of an indication as I need that God wants no part of me."

"You promised you'd never leave. You said you would always be there for me. Well, I don't know if anyone ever told you what Angel said when you first came to Sunnydale. He said once you start something, you don't stop until you get rid of everything that's in your way. So, you better start working out a way to get your demon ass into heaven 'cause if you don't then I'm damn well going to take that the same as you walking out on me. Are you clear on that?"

"You're a Grade A bitch, d'you know that?"

"But it wouldn't be half as interesting if I was all sweetness and light twenty-four seven, would it?" Buffy turned his earlier words against him.

"Do you have the least idea how much what you're asking would screw with the natural order of things?" A smile was forming on his lips.

"No more than a soulless vampire and a slayer being in love with one another."

"Yeah, well I've always been a reb-" The grin that had made its way onto his face at the prospect of this ultimate rebellion was suddenly replaced with a shocked expression. "What did you just say? Word for word."

"I said "no more than a soulless vampire and a slayer." Shit. I guess that's what they call a Freudian slip."

"Say it, slayer." Spike's voice was hard, brittle.

Buffy's was filled with surprise and a little awe. "I said I'm in love with you. I'm in love with Spike. I, Buffy, the vampire slayer, am in love with, William the Bloody, master vampire and slayer of slayers. I'm certifiable."

"No, pet. In a mad world, it's one crazy thing that makes perfect sense."

Spike turned his back to Buffy and swinging his legs out of the bed, bent over to pull on his jeans in one swift movement.

"Wh-where are you going?"

"Only as far as the bathroom, love."

Buffy sat up, her voice getting louder as he left the room. "But vampires don't need to use bathrooms."

Almost as soon as he left the room he was back, duster in one hand, feeling through his inside pockets with the other. The coat was slung to one side and he took Buffy's hand pulling her forward until she sat on the edge of the bed.

Spike dropped to one knee and Buffy suddenly realised what was happening.

"No, Spike. No way. Don't do this."

"Stop being a bitch for once and just listen." One arm stretched up, just managing to reach far enough to place his fingertips on her lips, stilling her protests. "Buffy, I asked you this once before and you said yes, but what I imagined I felt then is only a fraction of how much I care for you now. You are what makes my existence worth living. You are the sun that lights my world. Every day we can have together is precious and I don't want to waste a single one. Please would you do me the honour of consenting to be my wife."

"Stupid vampire." Tears of frustration welled in Buffy's eyes. "How on earth can you propose when we've only been on one date. It's ridiculous. And what you said was beautiful and that makes me feel like I should say yes, but it's way too soon."

"Buffy, you're the one who's always said slayers come with an expiration date. If I'm going to have less than a handful of years with you then I am damn well not going to hold back because of convention. Maybe if Dawn didn't exist and there wasn't anyone from social services snooping around and I could spend every night in your bed then I might be prepared to wait. Honestly though, the part of me that isn't demon is one hundred percent Victorian male and damned if I don't want to make an honest bloody woman out of you, you stubborn awkward bint. It's so bloody simple even Harris could manage the math. I'm in love with you. You're in love with me, now for Christ's sake just say yes so I can get up off this floor and kiss you, woman."

"I suppose you call that a proposal?" Buffy queried.

"No. I called the first bit a proposal. This is an argument with my demented soon to be fiancée who hasn't got the good sense to know when she's onto a good thing. Besides, you might as well give up now. You just said that once I set my sights on something I don't stop till I get it."

Buffy realised she was beat and decided to get as much out of the bargain as she could.

"On two conditions. One, we have a church wedding-"

"Are you stark ravin' bonkers, woman? We can't have a church wedding."

"I've never actually seen any physical reason why not. You're not repelled by crosses. They don't bother you unless you actually touch them, so stop acting like a fledgling. As far as I'm aware wedding services don't involve touching crosses or holy water, so I don't see what your big problem is. You can't tell me you can't go in a church 'cause I've seen you in one. Besides, I think it might be a step in the right direction for condition number two.

You do not in any way shorten your life, or unlife I should say, unless you have good reason to suppose that we will be together in the afterlife or you've spent at least as long helping the good guys as you did on the other side of the fence." Buffy's face set in her best imitation of Willow's resolve face.

"What the hell do you expect me to do? Play nursemaid to every slayer they send to this hell-hole for the next hundred and twenty years?"

"See if you can up the average life-expectancy a bit. Maybe a few more will get the chance to have a life, but look after Dawn and if she has any family, well, hey, you know what you're like for Summers women. Maybe keep an eye on the Scoobies as a whole."

"The concept of sarcasm just flew right over your pretty little valley-girl head, didn't it?"

"No, I'm deadly serious. And when their eighteenth birthday's coming up find out from Giles about the Cruciamentum or whatever they call it and warn them. Them's the conditions, put up or shut up."

Buffy wasn't sure exactly what the string of muttered curses that came from Spike's mouth consisted of, but she did think she caught the phrase "blackmailing bitch" and "whipped" in there.

"It's a deal, love. You have my word, provided you find a Protestant vicar prepared to perform the ceremony knowing that I'm a vampire."

"Done." Buffy grinned, pleased with the concessions she had gained.

"In that case, Buffy, my love, would you please do me the honour of consenting to be my wife?"

"I will."

Spike produced a rather worn looking leather box, snapping it open to reveal a reddish-gold band with five good sized diamonds set into it in a row. Around the stones and particularly at either end of the row the band had been engraved or etched with curling lines. "It belonged to my great-grandmother and then my mother. I had the family lawyers take it out of storage and get it cleaned a while ago. It might need to be resized, but I don't think so. I have the matching wedding band, as well, but if you'd rather pick something more to your own taste, then we-."

The fingers of Buffy's left hand were placed gently on his lips and then dropped to where his hands were waiting. It was hard to believe that Spike's hand would shake as he placed the ring on her finger, but maybe he was more William than he would ever admit.

He rose to his feet, pulling his fiancée into his arms with a "Come 'ere, ya stubborn bint." Then he swept her over in a dip and laid a kiss on her that would have done credit to Rhett Butler and Scarlett O'Hara.

"Just 'Buffy and William'," he said as Buffy struggled to regain her composure.

"What?"

"The wedding invitations. No 'Summers'. No 'the Bloody'. 'No Spike'. Just 'Buffy and William'."

"That works."

"Well, I'm not just the most gorgeous hunk of man-flesh that ever walked the earth, you know."

 
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