Disclaimer: Still in full effect, I still don't own anything. Some dialogue borrowed from 'Fool For Love' and 'The Gift'. Where given where due, I promise.


Summerland-

Buffy looked to her mother, "I had no idea she was this close to him mom." She said referring to her sister.

Joyce patted Buffy's back, "I know sweetie but that's only because you didn't want to know. But now you've seen it yourself."

"Yeah. I sure have. Wow, she's like, seriously, torn up." She turned to Whistler, "Do you think what Willow did for me will help him?"

He shrugged, "Why wouldn't it? Worked for you dinnit?"

"Well, yeah, but I'm not a vamp and he's not a Slayer. So, kinda not the same."

Whistler shook his head at her, "He's got a working brain, that's where he's stuck, so that's where she's gotta go."

Buffy looked back to the TV and watched as Willow placed the five candles around the room and lit some incense to help her meditate, "Will we be able to see what she sees?"

"Don't see why not. If that's what you wanna see, then think hard and hit the button like I told ya."

"Alright, alright. Smarty britches. Good grief you're moody."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Am not."

"Are too."

"Ok you two. Stop it. You're worse than two kids fighting over the swing."


_______________________________________________________


Sunnydale-

Back in Joyce's bedroom Willow set up her candles, five in total, one at the head of the bed, one at each side and two at the foot of the bed, all making the pentacle, the quarters and the elements. She then moved to light the Sage incense to purify and cleanse the area while helping her relax, then the Sandalwood to help clear her mind. She sat on the bed, Indian style, next to the vampire and began going through the routine of grounding and centering herself to prepare her mind and body for the trance-like state she had to be in in order to reach Spike's mind.

*FLASH*

Willow found herself in the Bronze, but not the Bronze of now. This was the Bronze from High School days. Egh!' Early High School days judging buy the hair styles she was seeing. She walked a little farther inside and spotted Buffy sitting at a table talking to her, the past her, and Xander walking up to join them. Words were exchanged and Present Willow remembered the conversation that had ensued, something about Buffy needing to study French and then the abandonment of said French homework in favor of dancing. The three made their way to the dance floor and Willow looked to her left and realized that she was standing next to Spike in the shadows. She looked back onto the dance floor unable to grasp the wigginess that she was experiencing at seeing her past self, not to mention past Buffy and past Xander.

"Wow." Willow's voice brought Spike's attention to her for a second.

"Hey Red." Spike said it as if he weren't surprised to see her there at all. Then he turned back to watch Buffy dance, "Wasn't she beautiful?" He asked nostalgically.

Willow smiled and looked at him with understanding shining brightly in her eyes, "Yeah, she was." Trying to get a smile from the vamp she added, "She looks even better dancing beside Xander and me. God, I was such a spaz." She received a small, tight lipped grin in response.

Deciding after a few moments it was time to get down to business, she turned her body towards Spike fully and spoke again, "Spike, what are you doing here? Dawn wants you back home. We all want you back home."

"Even Harris?" He asked amused.

"Well, maybe not as much as the rest of us, but yeah. He doesn't want you to stay all zone outy."

When he didn't respond she returned to his side and gazed out over the dance floor. Neither one spoke for a few moments and then Spike spoke in a voice so quiet that Willow was surprised she even heard him at all, "I miss her Red."

If possible, Willow's face took on an even more sympathetic look, "I know Spike. I know. We all miss her. That's why you need to come back to us. We need to all be there for each other. Dawn is such a wreck now, worrying over you."

At the mention of Dawn's name Spike finally tore his eyes away from Buffy's form still dancing and looked directly into Willow's eyes, his own clearly relaying how worried he was. "Nib? She's not ok? I didn't mean to worry the girl." He looked away, into the distance, "Silly chit, worryin' 'bout a vamp anyway."

Willow decided then that her best option would be to play on Spike's concern for the youngest Summers and went with it. "No Spike. She's not ok. The one person she's closest to right now is all 'deep space nine' in his head. She's worried sick about you. She's not eating. She's hardly talking. Tara had to practically drag her away from your side so I could come in here and get you." Ok, Willow thought, so that was a big ole fat lie. But oh well, she had to get his attention somehow. It's for a good cause. she reasoned with herself. So with that thought planted firmly in the forefront of her mind Willow rationalized her tiny fib and decided not to feel guilty.

Spike looked pained for a moment and Willow thought she might've convinced him to snap out of it. Then his expression changed to one of indifference and he shrugged his shoulders, "She'll be better off without me anyhow. If I stay here I can see Buffy anytime I want just by thinking about her."

"Spike, you can't stay here forever." Willow tried to reason with him.

"Why not?"

"'cause you don't belong here."

"But she's not dead here."

*FLASH*

Willow looked around at her unfamiliar surroundings. She began walking around looking for Spike while muttering to herself, "Now, if I had a dog, and that dog's name was 'Toto' this would be about the time I said to him, 'Toto, we're not on the Hellmouth anymore.'" Unbeknownst to her, she was voicing the same thought her friend had earlier in a totally different dimension. She continued walking not seeing any signs of Spike anywhere. "Spike? Spike!" She hollered but got no response. "Stupid vampire. I know you're here. This is your mind, not mine...SPIKE!!" At that moment she heard his loud, booming voice and took of at a jog to find him.

When she rounded the corner she was met with a sight she hadn't expected in the least, which caused her to stop abruptly. Spike was there, and he was talking to Dru. "Okee dokee then. She's the last person, err vampire, I expected I'd see in a Buffy induced and inspired trip through the inner workings of Spike's mind." She knew of course, that one hundred plus years with the vampiress couldn't be discounted or forgotten, but she didn't exactly see where she fit into the picture of Spike's grief over the Slayer. "And what the frilly heck is that thing standing by them?" Willow couldn't help but ask when she spotted the slimy antler guy in a grey suit.

As she began to inch closer to the trio, she was able to hear the conversation, or should she say argument, between Spike and Dru. She apparently had been caught cheating with slimy antler guy, which, eww, and Spike was calling her on it and Dru was all the while trying to justify her actions.

"Why can't you kill her?" Drusilla cried.

Spike rolled his eyes and replied frustrated, "You're the one who keeps bringing her up!" He turned back towards her, "I haven't said a word about the bloody Slayer since we left California. She's on the other side of the planet, Dru!" He gestured with his arms widely.

"But you're lying! I can still see her floating all 'round you, laughin’. Why? Why won't you push her away?"

"But I did, pet. I did it for you. You keep punishing me." He waved towards the slimy antler guy, "Carrying on with creatures like this." Willow couldn't stop the grimace, Oh gross, she slept with THAT?'

The demon looked back and forth between the two vamps, "Ok, you guys obviously have a thing goin' on here."

Drusilla looked to Spike, her hands on her stomach, "I have to find my pleasure somewhere, Spike." She screwed up her face, "You taste like ashes."

Spike gestured to the general area, but talking about the demon, "So this is my fault now?"

The demon turned to Spike, "I didn't know she was seeing somebody." Off of Spike's look, he backed away a little, "I should take off."

Spike tilted his head, "Yea, why don't you do that?"

Slimy antler guy blew a kiss to Drusilla and walked away.

She looked to Spike with a sad look on her face, "You can't blame the ghoul Spike. You're all covered with her. I look at you..." She trailed off, "All I see is the Slayer." As Dru said this, Willow understood why she was seeing this. This must be right before Spike came back to Sunnydale this last time. Willow thought. Dru was a seer after all, maybe she knew before Spike did that he was in love with Buffy. She mused.

As Willow watched Dru walk away, she came to stand next to Spike, not saying anything, figuring he still couldn't see her. Her mind was running amuck with all the implications of what she'd witnessed, so when Spike spoke, she was startled from her thoughts because she figured she was only here to observe and not interact. She missed what he said since her thoughts were so loud, "Huh?" She asked as she looked over to him, "Sorry, didn't expect you to talk to me. Figured I was supposed to be all observy this time 'round. What'd you say?"

Spike, still looking in the direction Dru had taken off, repeated to himself, "She knew long before I did how I felt about Buffy. I just didn't realize that's what she meant by everything she said. Just figured it was more psychotic nattering."

Willow nodded her head, looking in the same direction as him as he confirmed her earlier suspicions. "Yeah. I kinda figured that's what was going on, her being all with the seer ness and everything. Otherwise why would you bring me here to...wherever we are?" She looked around the area, "Where are we?" Willow finally asked.

"Brazil."

"Oh, ok. Well, anyway, why else would we be here in Brazil? 'Cause, ya know, I figured this whole deal was Buffy centered."

"Isn't most everything?" Spiked asked rhetorically.

"So what was up with slimy antler guy?" Willow asked after a few minutes of silence. "He was all with the gooey-ooey sliminess."

Spike gave a small chuckle at that, "'Antler guy'?"

Willow smiled at him, "Yeah. 'S my name for him. Dunno what he was."

"He was a Chaos demon. Nasty buggers, them." Spike answered. "Dru was havin' an affair with him."

"Ugh!" Willow scrunched up her face, "That's just wrong."

"Ugh is right." he agreed.

"She slept with that thing? Wouldn't that be kinda, I dunno, messy? What with the drippiness and all?"

"Yup, 'spose so."

Willow scrunched up her face, again, "Eww...that's just...eww."

Spike's laughter rang out followed by another

*FLASH*

Willow was now standing in Giles' kitchen, Spike no longer beside her. She looked around but didn't see anyone. As she stepped into the living room she noticed Giles lying on the couch with a washcloth over his eyes. "Huh." She stated, looking around again trying to figure out when this was. At that instant Buffy and Spike came down the stairs hanging all over each other acting like love sick teens. Willow grumbled and shut her eyes as they took a seat in the armchair. Shaking her head she said, "Great. Just great. I so wanna relive this day."

She jumped when she heard Spike's voice. He was sitting with Buffy in his lap lavishing his neck with kisses. When he spoke Buffy carried on so Willow assumed correctly that what he said was for her benefit. "Don't feel bad on my account. This was the happiest day of my whole soddin' existence."

Willow looked at him with a questioning gaze. "What?" she asked, "When the spell was broken you were totally grossed out. Complained that you had Buffy taste in your mouth."

Spike shook his head slightly not wanting to dislodge the Slayer, "No, don't get me wrong. I did feel sick right after it happened. I mean, come on, Master Vampire here, gettin' all mushy-gushy and snoggin' with the Slayer? Plannin' a weddin'?" He scoffed, "Thought it was my worst nightmare at the time. But when I realized I loved her, really loved her, no magic involved, I looked back on this day with a smile. 'Cause for one day, just one, she loved me too. Someone loved me as much as I loved them. Someone took care of me for a change. I had a family for a day." He stopped speaking for a minute and looked down at Buffy looking at him with so much love shining through her hazel eyes that his own filled with tears. He gave her a small, almost chaste kiss on her lips and then began speaking again. "She loved me Red." He spoke quietly, almost reverently. "She loved me. Just like I loved her. For just one day, my love wasn't unrequited. Not like with Cecily, not like with Dru and not like normal with Buffy."

Cecily? Well that name was new, so Willow couldn't help but ask, "Cecily? Who's that?"

For a second Spike looked like he'd been caught and Willow realized that he hadn't meant to say that last part out loud. Then his expression changed back to one of love as he looked back to her best friend and replied quietly, "No one."

Willow walked up to the chair and knelt down in front of Spike, watching as he gently caressed Buffy's cheek while she was writing in her binder. "Spike," she spoke softly, "I know you don't wanna, but we should really get back. Dawn and Tara are prob'ly about to break through the door. And believe me; it takes a lot to ruffle my girl's feathers. We've been gone a while."

He slowly shook his head, "They might be worried 'bout you, but I'd wager they could give a toss or not 'bout me."

"That's not true Spike and you know it. They give a toss. We need to go home." She reiterated.

"No. I don't wanna leave here." He ran a finger down the side of Buffy's face, "Here is good."

Willow lay a gentle hand on Spike's knee, "Spike, here's not real."

Still caressing her face he asked, "Why can't it be? Feels real enough to me. Buffy feels real enough to me. Just let me stay here Red. I can't face the Nibblet and everyone else. Can't see their faces when they look at me. All that hate. All that disappointment." He shook his head as if trying to dispel the images of everyone looking at him disdainfully. "Don't know why you're even here making nicey-nice. Don't deserve it."

Willow looked at him quizzically, "What do you mean Spike?"

"'S my fault." He stated simply.

"What? What are you talking about? What's your fault?"

"'S my fault she's gone." He replied mournfully.

*FLASH*

She was now standing in the foyer of the Summers' home. "Geez, enough with the flash-o-rama. My retinas are burning." Spike was nowhere in sight and just as she was about to call out for him, Buffy came through the front door speaking. Willow looked to the still open doorway to see Spike standing at the threshold, and then he was speaking.

"Pet, if you'll just slide the chest over, I'll grab what we need..." he trailed off.

Buffy looked over at him, almost guiltily, "Come in Spike."

Willow took in the expressions on Spike's face. Shock. Happiness. Relief. Fear. Nervousness. But most evident, love.

He slowly brought his hand up and through the space where the invisible wall had previously been mere seconds ago. He let out a short chuckle, "Hmm. Presto, no barrier." Then he seemed to come to his senses and walked into the house fully, bustling past Buffy to the weapon's chest. "I'll just grab a few things. Couple of small axes should do the trick."

Willow heard Buffy speak again, from her spot in the doorway. "We're not all gonna make it."

Geez Buff, let's just be pessimistic here. Willow couldn't help but think, even though she knew the outcome of the evening. Spike walked towards Buffy with a look of acceptance on his face, "I always knew I'd go down fightin'."

Buffy shocked Willow with her next words, "I'm counting on you to protect her."

Spike's expression became deadly serious, "'Til the end of the world." Then with a small smile, he added, "Even if that happens to be tonight." Buffy turned to walk up the stairs but Spike's voice halted her progress, "Buffy," she turned back to face him, "I know you'll never love me. I know I'm a monster. But you treat me like a man. And that's..." He trailed off and looked down, unable to finish. He cleared his throat, "You go, get your stuff. I'll be here."

He watched her go around the corner and then turned and looked directly into Willow's eyes, "I was supposed to protect her."

*FLASH*

Willow dropped down on her hands and knees when she found herself on top of Glory's tower all of a sudden. "Goddess." She breathed out. Then when she remembered that this wasn't real, she stood back up. "Good grief Spike. Warn a girl next time, will ya?" She turned around as she heard an unfamiliar voice and was met with the sight of Dawn tied up at the end of the landing they were on. Some creepy old guy was speaking to her. "Oh Dawnie." Willow turned back in the other direction when she heard thundering footsteps racing up the stairs. I don't remember there being elephants. How did I miss that? she thought amusedly to herself, trying not to let the events being replayed get to her. Then all of a sudden Spike appeared at the end of the landing.

"Spike!" She heard Dawn exclaim with relief in her voice.

'Creepy Old Guy' turned to face Spike as a result of Dawn's outburst.

Spike sauntered towards the old geezer and asked, "What's it take for a bloke to stay dead?"

"I could say the same for you." Willow heard 'Creepy Old Guy' reply.

"You and me are gonna have a go." Spike declared right before he launched himself at the older looking man. As a result he was knocked to the floor, "You're not touching the girl mate."

"Why are you doing this? I don't smell a soul on you."

Aha! That's why he's creepy, he's a demon. Willow observed, and then even though he couldn't hear her she added, No offense Spike.

"Made a promise to a lady." Was all Spike had said.

"Well, I'll send her your apologies." With that the demon attacked Spike. He turned Spike around so that he was facing Dawn with his arms behind his back. Willow heard Dawn mutter a quiet 'no' and Spike answered with a breathy 'no' of his own. Between the desperation Willow heard in Dawn's voice and the horror she heard in Spike's she couldn't hold back the tears that fell.

When Willow saw the demon throw Spike off of the tower, she gasped, "Oh Goddess." No one but Dawn knew what had actually transpired on the top of that tower. And Willow having now seen it felt sick.

Before Willow knew what was happening she popped off of the tower and the next instant found herself at the bottom of it, in front of a bloody and broken Spike lying on the ground. Sobs were wracking through his body and Willow knelt down beside him unsure if he could even see her much less hear anything she said, "Spike, it's alright. You tried. Ssh, don't cry." In spite of her words to Spike, Willow felt tears fall down her own face unchecked.

"No Willow! It's not alright." Spike all but shouted still sobbing. She knew he was serious because he used her actual name. "I didn't try hard enough. I failed. I had one, ONE, bloody job to do. The one thing she asked me to do and I failed."

"No Spike. No you didn't. You didn't fail, you tried. I saw it." Willow said trying to reassure him. But she knew there was no consolation that she could offer the vampire so she just sat beside him gently rubbing circles on his back.

*FLASH*

Willow looked around and saw she was back on the top of the tower. She turned around expecting to see Dawn in the same spot as before. But she wasn't there, in her place stood Buffy. Willow heard the thundering footsteps heralding Spike's arrival. As she turned in his direction she saw him walking towards Buffy with an anguished look on his face, but looking determined at the same time. "Spike? What're you doing?"

"Killin' Buffy." He simply stated.

"What? Why?" Willow squeaked confused. Ok, I thought this was all about the guiltiness that is Spike. Why would he kill Buffy in his mind this way?

Spike finally reached Buffy and when he was only a scant few inches from her he simply stood looking at her with a defeated look in his eyes. Buffy for her part, stood completely stock still, returning his gaze with tears cascading down her cheeks and a question in her eyes.

"Because this is what I do. I kill." Spike stated.

Willow couldn't suppress the shudder that ran through her body and the sense of deja vu she just experienced thinking how Spike's words were oddly similar to words Buffy had spoken herself when Willow had followed her on her jaunt into 'trance land'. Ok, completely wiggin' here. She thought while aloud, she said, "Spike, stop it. You're not a killer anymore. And you wouldn't kill her anyway."

"Yes I am." He answered shortly. "Yes I would." Then before Willow could blink, he was picking up Buffy, who was oddly enough, loose from her confines, and threw her off the tower.

"NOO!!" Willow screamed starting towards the end of the landing.

Spike just stood next to her staring down at Buffy's body. "She's dead because of me. 'S just the same as if I'd thrown her off here myself instead of her jumpin'."

"Spike, how can you say that?"

"I killed her. Simple as that."

"No!" Willow repeated vehemently turning towards Spike, she continued, "It's notas simple as that. You did all you could. You can't blame yourself. You. Did not. Do. This!" She punctuated each word with a jab to his chest.

"'Course that's what happened. She'd be alive if I weren't a failure. It's my fault." he repeated, and Willow could hear the tears he was trying to conceal come out through his shaky voice and wondered what she could say to him to make him believe her.

"No it's not." Twin voices were heard from behind the pair before Willow could even open her mouth.

They turned simultaneously to face the new arrivals. Spike almost fell off the tower from shock, while Willow had to remind herself to breath.


_______________________________________________________

Summerland (Earlier)

The only three beings in this dimension were avidly watching the TV screen as Willow's trip to 'trance land' with Spike moved along. Buffy sat silent through most of the scenes, just observing. She never knew that Spike had watched her inside the Bronze, even before talking to her, that first night. She couldn't keep the smile from forming when she saw Willow, Xander and herself dancing. And boy if Willow wasn't right. They did look like spazzes. But that was part of why she loved them, they were so real.

And the whole Dru knowing Spike was in love with her even before he did himself was just wiggy. Spike hadn't told her that she was the reason Dru had broken up with him. And on a side bar, eww much on the slimy cousin to the reindeer. Ok, she knew Dru was a vampire and that they're all large with the sexual openness, but gross!

And then the scene at her house before the battle with Glory. After everything she'd seen while here, that scene made her feel good because she'd made him feel good. Being in this place was making her brain all turvy-topsy. She came here with a firm standing position on her feelings and thoughts towards Spike. Now that was all kerblowie, out the window. She was feeling sympathy towards him, and she had the whole protective vibe thing going for him because Angel had been a butt. And now she was feeling good because she'd said something that made him feel good? What was up with that anyway? It wasn't helping that Spike was so upset and grief ridden. It also wasn't helping that her friends and Dawn had been completely fawning over him and standing up for him. It wasn't helping that Angel was being such a jerk either. Cordelia didn't surprise her, she was always a bitch. But the major thing that soo was not helping was her mother. Sure, she'd always liked Spike; she'd always had some sort of maternal 'thing' with him. Drinking hot chocolate (don't forget the mini marshmallows) with him while listening to the problems in his love life, she and Dawn laughing with him in the kitchen. She never had understood the relationship between the three.

This brought her back to the whole my mother is wigging thing. As soon as Spike had said the first word about how he felt on the tower she'd been alternating between crying her eyes out because she felt so badly for Spike and yelling at him through the screen. Her mother thought it was absolutely ridiculous that Spike would blame himself and she had no qualms about shouting it loud enough that there was every possibility he might actually hear her. It was like watching a football fanatic on Thanksgiving Day disagreeing with the Referee and screaming it to the TV set.

But when Buffy let herself admit it, she realized that she felt the same way. She felt totally despicable that he thought he was to blame for her decision to jump. She'd known that's what she had to do, even before all the prophecy mumbo jumbo. But that'd only confirmed what she already knew. She'd been meant to jump off that tower. She hadn't originally known that it was all for some higher purpose, or her destiny, but, whatever. She'd known what she had to do. And now Spike was torturing himself over something that couldn't have been avoided.

Ok, he's gotta stop with the loopity loop and the blame game. She thought to herself.

"He's not gonna stop." Whistler spoke up from beside her.

She whipped her head around and lightly smacked him on the arm, "Stop doin' that."

Whistler chuckled while rubbing his much abused arm, "Sorry. Sorry, but I can't help it, you're an easy target."

Buffy glared at him, "You're one to talk 'Fedora Boy'." She looked back at the scene before her, "And what'd you mean? He's not gonna stop?"

"I mean exactly what you think I mean. Exactly what I said. He won't stop. He doesn't see any reason to wake up." Whistler replied.

Buffy scoffed, "Of course he's got a reason to wake up. Willow already told him they needed and wanted him to wake up."

"Yeah, she's told him. But that doesn't mean he believes her. You're gone. You were pretty much his reason. Period."

"But what about Dawn?"

"Didn't you hear what he said to Willow about Dawn? He thinks she'll be better off without him. He thinks he failed. That you're here because of him."

"But that's not true. I was gonna end up here regardless. I mean, that is what you said isn't it?" Buffy protested.

"Yeah, that's what I said. But nobody down there," he pointed to the screen, "knows that. He thinks you're here because he wasn't fast enough or strong enough."

"Well, someone's gotta make him see." Buffy stated firmly. "He's acting like a dope for no reason."

Joyce, who had been silent during Whistler and Buffy's conversation, spoke up, "Why can't we?"

Buffy looked at her mother, "Huh?"

"Well," Joyce waved her hand towards Whistler, "He's a link to the Powers and they can pretty much do anything, so send us and then we can tell him."

Buffy turned hopeful eyes to Whistler, "Can you? I can't sit here and watch him torture himself like this for something that couldn't be avoided. Me and mom are prob'ly the only people he'll listen to right now."

Joyce nodded her head in agreement, "Yes. He needs a stern motherly talkin' to. Plus, I bet if he knew what that Angel was saying he'd wake up just so he could go kick his ass."

"MOM!" Buffy exclaimed shocked.

"What?" her mother asked full of innocence.

"You did it again. Called him that Angel again." She paused for a second the lifted a finger in the air and pointed at her mother accusingly. "A-and you said ass. You never cuss."

"Yeah, well, heat of the moment and all." Joyce answered nonchalantly ignoring the comment on her preference of name for the soulful vamp. She then turned back to Whistler, "Well? What are you waiting for?"

"Patience. Patience." Whistler cocked his head to the side, listening intently to something only he could hear, and then turned back to Buffy. "Ok, they'll let you do it. But only 'cause you're going back soon anyway."

"What about me?" Joyce asked.

Whistler shook his head, "No, I'm not sure that would be such a great idea."

She marched defiantly up to him and stood directly in front of him with her hands planted firmly on her hips. Shaking her head she said, "Oh no Mr. Link to the Powers. You will be sending me. You really don't want me mad."

Buffy walked up and stood next to her mother with her arms crossed, all of her weight on her right leg with her left foot pointed out and one perfectly manicured eyebrow arched. "She's right ya know. She can be right feisty. Better let her come along before she makes your immortal life completely miserable. We Summers’ women have special abilities with that." She and her mother shared a look and a quick nod then looked back to Whistler. Their matching expressions showing a mixture between being threatening and being expectant.

He was once again having a conversation with what they assumed to be the Powers. He huffed a bit, and then said, "Fine. Fine. You can both go. Bossy women. I sure hope he listens to you or I feel sorry for the poor guy."

And with that they were gone.


_______________________________________________________


Trance land-

Joyce and Buffy popped up behind Willow and Spike. As soon as they realized where they were, they heard Spike saying, "'Course that's what happened. She'd be alive if I weren't a failure. It's my fault."

"No it's not." They said in unison, startling the other two people standing on the landing. Willow and Spike turned simultaneously. Spike almost fell and Buffy couldn't hold back the giggle that erupted from her chest, while Joyce just smiled at the other's expressions.

"Geez Spike, you've been standin' upright for how long?" She joked, then turned towards Willow and said, "Will, breathe." To which the witch did exactly that and Buffy nodded. She lifted her hand for a small wave, "Hey guys."

Both figures remained completely still and silent for quite a while. Mother and daughter looked at each other and shrugged. Buffy spoke up again, "Well? Have you two suddenly become mute?"

That seemed to snap Spike out of it and he whirled on Willow, grasping her by the shoulders and asking in an angry voice, "What did you do witch? Is this some sick joke?"

Willow just stood there dumbly, shaking her head back and forth, still shell shocked. "No Sp... N-no. I-I didn't...No, I didn't do anything. Spike, I swear."

"Then what's going on? Whatever trick this is won't work." He shouted.

During all of the commotion Buffy and Joyce had moved forward, one on each side of Spike. They each put a hand on his arm which caused him to jump and his eyes jumped from one to the other, finally landing on Joyce when she started speaking, "Spike, calm down. Willow didn't do this. No one did." She paused for a second, "Well, someone did, obviously. But not the way you think and not for the reasons you think. This isn't a joke or some trick. Honest.” He released Willow, still looking at Joyce. After a few seconds he looked down.

"You can't be here. Either of you." He said quietly.

"But we are." It was Buffy this time. He swiftly brought his head up and met her eyes for an instant, with tears begging to be released. But he looked away just as quickly. Just not quick enough for Buffy to miss the obvious anguish written on his face. She removed her hand from his arm and grabbed his chin, lifting it in order to see his eyes. He kept looking anywhere but in her direction, "We had to come. Had to stop you torturin' yourself for no reason." With a small smile she added, "Only I'm allowed to do that." She received the tiniest of grins from him in response. It wasn't much, but it was something.

But then he shook his head as if dispelling any happiness he might've felt and became somber again. "'S not torture if I know I deserve it."

Joyce ran her hand back and forth on his arm, "Spike, you have nothing to feel guilty for. You don't deserve all this. It wasn't your fault..."

Buffy cut in, "And why are you feelin' guilt anyway? You're a vampire. You're not supposed to feel guilty. It's just weird." Joyce shot her a glare letting her know that her jokes weren't appropriate. She rolled her eyes, "Good grief, just tryin' to lighten up the mood here. Sor-ry."

Joyce grinned and shook her head slightly turning back to Spike, "Why areyou feeling guilty? Sad, yeah, I can understand. But guilt? I didn't think you felt guilty for anything. So, if you're not supposed to, then why do you? Especially if it's not even remotely your fault." She asked him in her motherly tone.

"I dunno." He answered honestly, and so softly that with his head still down Joyce missed what he said and asked him to repeat himself. He sighed, "I don't know." He replied exasperated.

"Well, either way, you have nothing to feel guilty about. Buffy was meant to jump, so stop this pity ditty and get home." She smiled reassuringly, "My youngest is missing her pseudo big brother ya know."

Willow, who had been silent during the entire exchange just letting Buffy and Joyce talk to Spike, suddenly perked up, "What? She was meant to jump? Why?" She asked shocked. Spike looked up wanting to hear the answer also.

"That's not for you to know right now." Joyce said sternly. "You'll find out. But for now, all you need to know is that it was meant to happen," she added in a softer tone.

Buffy piped up, "Yeah, it’s the whole destiny, yadda, yadda, higher purpose blah blah." She commented in a bored voice.

"Buffy!" Joyce admonished.

"What?"

"We're not supposed to say anything." She whispered sharply to her daughter.

"It's not like I really said anything about the stupid prophecy." Buffy replied in a normal voice, then slapped a hand over her mouth as she realized what she'd let slip and looked at her mother wide eyed.

"BUFFY!"

She gave her mom a sheepish look and said "Oops," in a small voice while shrugging.

Spike and Willow were looking back and forth between the two Summers' women in avid interest while choosing to ignore, for the moment, Buffy's slip up, but storing it away for research later.

"Gracious Buffy. Whistler's gonna kill you."

"Mom, I'm already dead." She pointed out.

Joyce's eyes narrowed, "You know very well what I mean. Don't get snippy with me young lady."

Buffy bowed her head, "Sorry mom."

They both seemed to realize at that moment that they'd been ignoring Willow and Spike. Joyce turned to each and said, "Sorry guys." Then fixed Spike with her gaze, "So, you gonna be ok now? We can't stay much longer."

"Yeah, plus everyone needs you back home. You've both been 'gone' for a while now." Buffy said making the air quotes.

Spike spoke softly in a resigned tone, "They might need Red here, but they don't need me."

Buffy whacked him on the arm, "Will you quit it? God! You've got three people standing here telling you that you're needed. So...you're needed. Deal ya big dope. Dawn's been wiggin', Giles is worried, Tara's worried, Xander wants you to wake up so he doesn't have to face Angel and Cordelia alone, and Anya, well, Anya's just there, but you get the idea I'm givin' ya right?"

Joyce saw a good opportunity to convince Spike to end this whole charade and return home, "Yeah Spike, you should really get back so you can set that Angel in his place."

"Mom! Stop callin' him 'that Angel'. Geez."

"Hush up child."

Her comment earned her the reaction she'd been hoping for, "Why mum? What's the poof doin'?"

"He's being a wanker." She stated.

Spike couldn't help but smirk in spite of his previous melancholy. " 'S at so?" He looked over at Buffy to gauge her reaction to her mother's comment and she looked slightly embarrassed, but not overly defensive rushing to Angel's rescue.

"Yes. He's been a jerk ever since you zoned out. Tell him Buffy." Joyce looked at Buffy and gestured towards Spike. When Buffy remained silent, Joyce gave her 'the look', "Oh come on. You can't say he hasn't been."

"Yes, ok. Fine. He has been rather butt holey." She looked at her mom, "Happy now?"

"Not nearly." Willow and Spike both snickered at Joyce's answer.

Willow looked to Spike, "So you think you're ready to go back now?"

"I dunno if I can face everyone."

"Pfft. Sure you can." Buffy told him, "You don’t have anything to worry about. You'll be fine."

"Yeah, and that's coming from the horse's mouth." Willow added, nodding her head. Spike and Joyce both chuckled at her comment while Buffy gasped in mock outrage.

"I am not a horse Will!"

Willow just smiled at her in response, already missing her best friend all over again.

"Ok kids, Buffy and I have to be getting back." Joyce said sadly. She turned to Spike and pulled him into a hug, much to his surprise, and whispered in his ear, "It's not your fault." When she pulled back she looked into his eyes and inclined her head, "Alright?"

Spike nodded. "I miss you mum." He told her getting choked up.

Joyce nodded her head in agreement with a few unshed tears threatening to fall, "Oh Spike, I miss you too."

He looked up at her completely vulnerable, "Really?" She just nodded and he smiled. "Nobody makes a cuppa coco quite like you did mum."

"And don't forget the little marshmallows." She said as the tears finally fell.

"Hey you two quit yer blubberin' already." Buffy interjected good naturedly, but she couldn't hide the dampness in her own eyes. Then she did the unexpected. She put her arms around Spike and gave him a Slayer style hug. The effects of which any normal man would've suffocated from.

Spike was shocked to say the least. So much so that it took him about a half a second to overcome it and return the hug, wanting to savor it for as long as possible. "Buffy..." He muttered while inhaling the scent that was all her. Sunshine and life with Jasmine and Vanilla overtones.

Buffy further surprised him by staying inside the embrace for as long as he did. When she pulled back she whispered in his ear, "Stop brooding or we'll have to change your name to Junior." He growled in her hair and she smirked pulling completely back to look into his eyes. "I'm serious. Everything's cool." She stepped out of his embrace and added shyly, "I'll see ya soon."

"What?" he asked but she just smiled at him while shaking her head. To say Spike was confused by Buffy's actions, let alone her words, was definitely misleading. He was beyond confused. He didn't know what to think. What was that hug all about? She'd only ever shown him any type of affection or any type personal, non-violent touch twice. Once on the happiest day of his existence, the day Red's 'Will Be Done Spell’ went wonky, and second, after that Hell Bitch poked him but good. He couldn't think of anything that could possibly compel her to be this nice to him, much less show any type of affection towards him. Yeah, before she...died, and oh how it still pained him to think of that word in association with her, but before then, she'd been civil and they'd sorta reached an understanding, but not the type of understanding that would warrant this radical change in attitude towards him.

He was brought from his thoughts by Joyce, "Ok you two, we've gotta get back, and so do you." She looked at Spike and pointed her finger at him, "And no more Mr. Mopey from you."

Spike cracked a sheepish grin and ducked his head, "Yes mum."

Joyce then turned to Willow, "You'll keep an eye on my boy, yeah? Don't let that Angel give him too much trouble."

"MOM!"

She ignored her daughter and kept looking to Willow for acknowledgement. Willow nodded her head in the affirmative, "Yes Ms. Summers, I'll keep 'em all in line or turn 'em toady."

"Good." She stepped away from Willow. "Alright Buffy, say your final goodbyes and let's go before 'you know who' gets into a tizzy."

Buffy walked up to Willow and pulled her friend into a tight hug. "Bye Wills. Take care of everyone for me. You're still the 'big gun'. Even more so now." She pulled back and smiled when Willow responded.

"I still don't wanna be the 'big gun'." Willow pouted.

"Yea, well, I don't wanna be this gorgeous and peppy but we all got our crosses to bear." The two friends chuckled. "I'm gonna miss you Wills. Give my love to everyone. Make sure Dawnie tells everyone what I told her to, 'kay?"

Willow nodded with tears in her eyes. Buffy started to walk away, but she grabbed her and spun her back around. At Buffy's questioning look, Willow simply said, "Just one more." And pulled her into another hug, "I love you Buffy."

"Love you too Wills." Buffy straightened again and walked to her mother's side linking their arms. "Alrighty hot momma, let's boogie."

"Not until they're gone." Joyce replied indicating to Willow and Spike. They both turned to look at the mother and daughter, Willow nodded, then mirrored Buffy and Joyce by linking her arm through Spike's.

"Ready Spike?"

Spike looked to Buffy one last, long time, drinking in her form as much as he could. When he didn't answer Willow nudged his arm and he looked at her, his brow up in question.

"Ready?" She repeated.

He took a final look at Buffy and then hesitantly nodded his head, which Willow copied. "Alrighty then. Let's do this. Bye guys!"

"Bye Wills."

"Goodbye Willow."

Buffy and Spike's eyes met, "Don't forget what I said, Junior."

"I love you" was all he said, and then he and Willow disappeared.