SECTION 4 - YOU'RE THE ONE

When the cold wind blows
And the rain keeps tumbling down
And there's no one there
And the morning light shines on

You're the one to lend a hand
You're the one who understands
You're the one to comfort me
The keeper of my heart

(Clannad, Album - anam, Words and lyrics A. Brennan, Additional lyrics M. Brennan)




Chapter 4.10
Tuesday, May 14th, 2002

He didn't want to do it, but Sunnydale wasn't some fairy tale land where his princess got to live happily ever after. His princess was a slayer and a few hours brief respite was all either of them could afford.

"Love?"

"Mm-hmm."

"I've got a confession to make," the vampire did his best to soften the blow.

"Ah-huh. No confessions. Not tonight. Tonight's about dreams and romance and perfect presents from your friends and ignoring Xander presents. How come your friends are better at the gifts thing than mine?"

'Way to go, Spike. Had to cut things short when she was enjoying herself. Screwed things up for her again, haven't you? '

"Could be that my friends actually like you?" Spike suggested.

"Well, a microwave for downstairs is more of a present for you than for me."

"Or from a Harris point of view, it could be a way to keep me in the basement as much as possible, away from the rest of you."

"Or it could just mean that he's over the whole eating Spaghetti O's from the dryer phase and wants actual food like popcorn when he comes to visit."

"And the rate he's eating lately, he thinks we need three microwaves to keep him going."

"Beast. Besides he hasn't been so bad since the wedding. I think it was nerves and then thinking he'd lost her." Buffy made excuses for her friend, but then it was true that whenever Spike had bought pizza, Xander hadn't eaten any. Okay, so last time he had just finished bringing up his lunch, but he hadn't had any the previous time either.

"I don't know about losing demon bint, but if he'd kept going the way he was, he could say goodbye to Little Xander, 'cause he wasn't going to be seeing anything below his waist."

"You are so mean."

"Evil. Remember?"

"My antihero." Buffy fake swooned, hand to her forehead like the heroine in a Victorian melodrama, knowing that Spike would catch her before she could fall.

Spike scooped her into his arms and pressed his lips to hers, letting them glide slowly to a stop as he did so. "Hapless sidekick, more like," was his rebuttal when he finally raised his head.

"Partner. Hapless partner." Buffy smirked as she teased him, but her eyes declared that she meant what she said.

Spike set her back on her blades and traced the lines of her cheek with the back of one finger. "Seriously, love, there's some bits I have to tell you."

The troubled, guilty look on his face made Buffy sigh. "Tell me the worst."

"Okay, worst, I kinda arranged for everybody to meet at Lily's after this place closes up, for a council of war away from prying eyes and ears. At least, by now Red and Glinda should have warned the Harrises. I didn't think it was safe to tell them over the phone."

Buffy sighed again. "We don't get a happy ending, do we? We never really get to just be."

"I'm sorry, love. If I'd known how this was going to go, I'd have made sure you had tonight. I just mucked up, as usual."

"Spike, look at me. Today has gone from the literally sublime to the ridiculous and back again. All the good parts are down to you being you, you making me feel good, you making me love being alive, being with you. So, if we've got to fit 'us' in round about all the slayer stuff and Dawn's stuff, it's just the way it is. All we can do is make the most of the times we have for ourselves, and today's been filled with great times.

Thank you." Her last two words came out as barely a whisper.

One of her hands slipped around his neck, her fingers running through the hair at his nape, where it had been trimmed too short to curl. Her other arm wrapped around his waist, holding him close and her cheek rested against his shoulder, so that every breath she took bore the faint scent of his cologne. Spike's arms enfolded her like a child's security blanket. For a long precious moment, both of them were content to just be.

However, Spike had another confession to make. "Love, there's one more thing."

"Mm-hmm." Buffy nuzzled in against him as she waited, trying if possible to get even closer.

"I told the munchkin, if it was okay with you, that we'd sneak away before the end so we could help put her to bed."

"We get to tuck her in and I get to listen to you read to her?"

"Uh-huh," the vampire confirmed.

"Sounds perfect. Count me in. What about the presents?"

"Dare say Marie would swing by my place on the way so we can drop them off, if we ask. 'S not far out of her way. Assuming you've got your keys. We can leave Wes's bike as well. Take the car back to yours."

"What about Clem and Lily. Are they leaving, too?"

"My guess, Lori'll drop them off later."

"Okay. You sort out the presents and I'll sort out the orbs and make our excuses and stuff."

"Meet you outside. An', pet, don't tell them where we're goin', will you? My rep's bad enough in this town as it is."

"Tell you what. You give me a kiss to keep me going, and if it's convincing enough, they'll all think we're off for a quickie."

"Convincing as that, and keep it decent enough for Bit and snack-size. Good job I'm a miracle worker, isn't it?"

Spike brought a hand up to each side of her face, his thumbs brushed a gentle trail over each cheekbone. His head bent so slowly to hers that she just had to close her eyes. The intensity of his gaze was too much. His lips brushed hers so softly at first it felt almost like a cool summer breeze, but as her lips fell open in a soft gasp, his returned, this time pressing against hers more firmly than before. Still there was an exquisite tenderness in his touch and even though they were now kissing open-mouthed, there was no attempt on either part to deepen their contact. Buffy's world narrowed to the feel of cool fingers on her face, cool lips that tasted of mint on hers and the combination of scents that had come to mean Spike. Against her expectations she felt her desire rising, her blood pumping more rapidly through her system, bringing a flush to her cheeks, the muscles of her stomach tightening in anticipation. Then the gentle pressure of his lips was gone. Her eyelids flickered open, her gaze locking instantly with his own at a distance of mere inches.

"Believe me, my love. When we get the opportunity, it's going to be no quickie."

 

---

 

"So who's idea was this?" Xander asked, clearly uncomfortable about something.

"I guess it was Spike's, but I don't see what difference that makes. It makes sense. As far as anybody watching or eavesdropping knows, we're still here. And besides, there's things that have happened you need to know about."

"I'm just not happy bringing in all these friends of Spike's. I mean, what's their agenda? Why do they care one way or another if we're being spied on? I just don't see how we're meant to trust them," the man protested in as hushed a tone as he could manage.

Buffy rolled her eyes and looked to his wife. "Anya, what do you say?"

"I say Clem and Lily are no friends of the Initiative, and if they trust this Lori, then she's fine by me."

Buffy raised an eyebrow in Xander's direction.

"Look, how about I drop off Anya and the others. Anya can tell me what happens, but I've got to make an early start in the morning."

"Shit, you didn't mention that before. Does that mean you won't be able to pick Dawn up like usual?" Buffy asked. "I'm not keen on her going on that bike until she gets all the right gear."

"No, it's okay I'll swing by, usual time," Xander assured her before he realised his mistake. "I just... have to drop by the builder's merchant's first... for some bits that were out of stock... some really important bits." The carpenter was clearly improvising on the spot.

Buffy's look turned cooler. "Whatever, Xander. But it seems like we're going to be seeing more of Clem and his family. If you've got some sort of issue with him I don't know about, then sooner or later something's going to have to be sorted out."

"Look, Buffy. I got involved in this for one reason, to help make this town safe for the people who live here. The people , Buffy."

Anya shook her head slightly. "It's pointless arguing with him. He was the same way about Hallie. Left the house as soon as she arrived and didn't come back till he knew she was gone. At least it sure seems that way to me. I'll be there, though."

Buffy couldn't believe it, and yet as she thought about it, she came to a realisation. Clem might have been invited to Xander's wedding, but she had never seen Xander address a single word to him. All the time they'd been locked in the house, Xander had only occasionally been in the same room as the demon and in all that time he'd never spoken to him at all, except maybe to say fold or to bid when they were playing poker. It could just be that any friend of Spike's automatically qualified as a social leper in Xander's book, but Buffy had a feeling it had to do with something else. A word she really didn't want to associate with anyone she called friend. But isn't it just as bad to treat someone differently because their skin is wrinkly, or green or blue, or cold as it would be if their skin were brown or yellow or any of the other colours of the human rainbow?

"Okay. I guess that'll have to do." Buffy pressed the orbs into Anya's hands. "You best keep these. If Xander falls on them, they might break. I'll see you later, Anya."

 

---

 

"Promise you'll pick a story with a happy ending to read." Buffy told Spike when she caught up with him next to Wes's bike outside. "Promise me a story about life the way it should be. Promise me heroes that are good and pure, not cynical or bitter." Buffy needed to lose herself. To pretend she couldn't see the chasm that was growing between her and Xander. She needed to pretend that his view wasn't one she'd gradually come to despise in herself and had made a concious effort to turn away from. How could she criticise her friend for a flaw that until so very recently had been part of her own make up? "Promise me a world I'd want to live in," she asked.

"As you wish, love. As you wish."