"Sick Of Life"

"Paralyzed. Nothing's getting through to me.
Hypnotized from all my surroundings.
I wanna be something I could never be.
I wanna say things that I could never say.
Yeah, I'm gonna do it again!

Sick of my life. I'm tired of everything in my life.

Dragged down. Rubbing my face in the ground.
No time for the undecided.
I wanna know why I've always felt alone,
And I wanna love. Why am I untouchable?
Yeah, I'm gonna do it again!

Sick of my life. I'm tired of everything in my life.
I never wanted to be sick of my life.
I'm tired of everything in my life." Godsmack (Sick Of Life "Awake" 2000)


Dawn had just about enough of her sister and their friends. Three weeks ago Wesley had called and told them that Spike had returned. Everyone had been stunned. Listening to his retelling of the events had caused Dawn’s stomach to drop. The first thing she had wanted to do was jump on a plane and fly off to L.A. Unfortunately she was still a minor and would need her sister’s permission. Not that Buffy would be giving it any time soon. Her sister was still pretending not to be angry that Spike hadn’t run right back to her side.

When the commotion had finally died down, Dawn had been the only one to ask how he was doing. Wesley had told them that at first he’d been confused and had asked if he was in hell. Wesley had gone on to explain that due to his rather violent resurrection that he must have not realized that he was no longer trapped in some hell dimension. Hearing these words broke Dawn’s heart. What happened after had shattered her world.

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“What do you mean your glad he’s staying away? Buffy! The guy died for you! He loves you! How can you say that?” Dawn had said, her voice rising in shock.

“Easy.” Buffy had stated, a little too flippantly. “Sunnydale is gone and I no longer need Spike. Besides, he didn’t call when he got back. We had to find out from Wesley of all people. If Spike loved me he would have called.” The responding slap had silenced the entire room. Dawn’s hand stung and tears filled her eyes.

“I was wrong. I never should have threatened to set Spike on fire.” Dawn growled at her stunned sister. “I should have threatened you!”

“Now Dawn. Lets be rational.” Giles began. “Spike is no longer our concern. Let Angel and his group deal with him.”

“Yeah. Just because blood breath came back from hell doesn’t mean we should care.”

“Dawnie, Buffy is right. We don’t need Spike any more. We now have our own lives and it is for the best if he is not a part of it.”

Tears spilled from Dawn’s eyes. Looking around the room she realized that she didn’t know these people and it seemed more than likely that she didn’t want too.

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Now was her chance. Spike had taught Dawn a lot more than anyone realized. Not that any of them would have noticed even if it had been pointed out to them. Spike had merely been something to use to fight demons and then ignore the rest of the time. It hadn’t mattered to them what he did to prove himself. Spike was still an evil thing that could never be trusted. Dawn was amazed that Buffy thought that Spike should have run to her in spite of the way he had been treated. The fact that he was now Angel’s Seer and couldn’t possibly leave L.A until he’d adjust to being back didn’t seem to sink in for her sister. Seeing as everyone else was of the opinion that while it was nice that he got a second chance, they were all in agreement that it was better if Spike stayed away. What Dawn had picked up from their conversations was that they felt like Spike was no longer ‘convenient’. When Buffy fell in line and followed everyone else Dawn had been enraged. She still regretted not patching things up with Spike before he had died. Now that he was back she wasn’t about to pass up the second chance she’d been miraculously given.

Snorting to herself, Dawn pasted on a cheerful smile. Handing over the lifted credit card to the lady at the Lufthansa counter, Dawn requested a round trip ticket to L.A, first class. ‘Take that stupid Council.’ Dawn thought. She was lucky that Buffy was out on a date, so to speak. It was another blind date with a nice normal ‘human’ guy that her friends had set her up with. She would be leaving Rome at 7:45pm which gave her two hours to get to her gate. Dawn then had a connection in Frankfurt and would arrive at LAX at 12:35pm. It was a seventeen hour long flight. Good thing she had plenty of batteries for her CD player and lots of books to read. Thanking the lady behind the counter, Dawn shouldered her carry on bag. Dawn was still not sure if she would be going back to Rome but at this time she would rather live with a depressed Spike than the hypocrites that surrounded her.

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Spike was lounging around Fred’s apartment. He had not felt like facing the inquisition today. Angel had been hounding him to be more of a team player. What that translated to was doing the other's grunt work.

Grabbing a beer from the fridge, Spike settled down and flipped on the t.v. Passions was starting soon and it had been awhile since he’d had the chance to watch it. A bit of mindless entertainment was exactly what he needed while he wait for his hot wings to arrive.

Halfway through his show a knock sounded at the door. Grumbling, Spike yelled that he’d be a minute. Picking up the cash Fred had left for him, Spike shuffled over to the door. Pulling the chain, he opened the door without looking through the peep hole.

“It’s about bloody time you showed up. Thought you said it would only take thirty minutes.”

“I think it takes a bit longer than thirty minutes to reach L.A from Rome.” Hearing the dearly missed voice, Spike’s head snapped up and tears filled his bright blue eyes. Standing in the doorway, surrounded by bags was Dawn. She smelt of stale air and looked half dead. She desperately needed a shower, real food, and sleep and not necessarily in that order. To Spike she was one of the most beautiful sights he had ever seen.

“Niblet..”




A/N: Hope you liked it so far. I went to expedia.com for Dawn's flight. Did you know that an economy ticket cost $1539? A first class ticket on United cost $12,293. Also her need of sleep, shower, and food was the same one I have had. I've been on long flights before(30hr w/layovers)and you don't care what order you get them. Seeing the flight length brought back some memories. ;)