Stay tuned! Spike makes his appearance in the next chapter! ~Desi



A soft knock on the door pulled Faith from her thoughts and she stood up, panicking at the voice that came through the door.

“Faith, are you ok in there baby,” Robin’s deep voice penetrated the wooden barrier between them.

Snatching the garbage can, Faith shoved the pregnancy test and booklet to the bottom, burying it beneath the used tissues and empty toothpaste cartons.

“Um, yeah, yeah I’m ok. Just had a little too much of everything so my stomach is feelin kinda wonky, ya know,” she spoke quickly, giving voice to the first excuse she could think of.

“You sound strange baby. Are you sure you’re ok,” he asked, concern evident in his voice.

Catching sight of herself in the mirror, she caught sight of her tummy peeking out from beneath her tank as her borrowed pajama bottoms rode low on her hips. Running her hands lightly over the bared skin, she replied absently, her focus suddenly narrowed in on her navel.

“Yeah baby. It’s just something with my stomach. I’ll be out in a minute.”

She pushed her tank up a bit, baring her stomach fully and lightly pressed her hands to the skin beneath her belly button wondering if she could feel it; her baby. Slowly an awestruck look stole over her features, thinking of a baby growing inside her. Glancing down at her stomach, she looked for any signs that it looked any different.

’I made a baby! There is a little person in my belly! Oh my God! I created a life inside my body!’

Smiling softly in wonderment, Faith suddenly remembered the man on the other side of the bathroom door. Looking up worriedly, she was suddenly paralyzed with the fear that she was going to lose him.

’No. NO! Not this time. Please, not now. Oh God, please!’

Shutting her eyes tightly, she took deep breaths through her nose, trying to calm herself and feeling as if she were going to be sick.

’Oh God! Oh God!’

She was so scared. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this kind of fear. Not when she was a kid or when she was arrested or even when she faced the First.

’What am I gonna do? What the hell am I gonna do? Think Faith, think!’

Silently she paced back and forth in front of the sink, her hands still pressed to her stomach, eyes still shut tight so that she began to get a little dizzy with the blind walking and turning thing.

’K, everyone always says talk to God. Pray. When I went to jail, the Preacher guy was always telling me to talk to God and let him know what was in my heart, which I always thought was kind of stupid since he also said that God already knew what was in my heart, so maybe that is what I should do anyway. Pray. I can do it. It’s worth a shot, right? I can pray. I can talk to the big man. It’s not hard. All I have to do is pray. What the hell do I say? The only prayer I know was something I used to say before bed when I was a kid! I don’t think ‘now I lay me down to sleep’ is gonna work here. Ok, just speak from the heart right? Pretend I’m just having a conversation with someone. I can do that.’

Stopping her pacing, she opened her eyes to look up at the ceiling, before she remembered she was supposed to be on her knees and she quickly dropped down to kneel on the still slightly damp bathmat, awkwardly clasping her hands together before looking back up towards the ceiling once more, her whisky and cigarettes voice wobbling in fear.

“K, God. If you’re listening up there, it’s me, Faith. I know I’m not big on the church thing and living by those rules and stuff the bible talks about, but if you could just give me a minute here? I-I don’t really know what to say or if I’m doing this right, but I’m kinda in this situation and I don’t know what else to do. I’m pregnant and while that’s really cool and stuff, I don’t think the father will think so too. I know I’m supposed to probably be married an all first but if you can kind of overlook all those times I did the whole sex before getting married thing it’d be cool. I’ve never asked you for anything really, but I need a favor. I don’t want to have to choose one or the other. Please. Don’t make me choose between Robin and my baby. I’m not saying you have to make him marry me or anything, but please just let him be ok with it. I don’t want to lose him. Please, if you could do that for me, I’ll try to be a better person, I swear I will. I’ll stop smoking and cussing and no more Jack D or booze or anything like that. I’ve not ever done the church thing and I’m not really sure about starting up now, but if that’s what it takes, you just say the word man, and I’m there. I know I’ve done a lot of bad shi—stuff—and I pretty much ignored your existence, but please, please, if you could just find it in your heart to do this for me, I promise I’ll give her everything that I never had. Just give me a break here, please? Um, thanks for listening to me and stuff. Amen.”

Unclasping her hands, she braced them on the edge of the bathtub, pushing herself upright to her feet, unknowing that on the other side of the door, the man in question was standing there with a glass of warm milk in hand his face screwed up in sorrow at her heartfelt words.


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The SUV bumped along the dirt packed road, jostling it’s passengers in their seats. All around them the destruction was merciless. They passed what looked like the town square, home of where the Magic Box used to stand and then further past what used to be the ice-cream shop. You could tell there was a lot of cleaning up that had been done as there was much less debris scattered about and there weren’t any mangled vehicles strewn about. You could see the evidence of fires that had once burned, sections of broken buildings and trees blackened and scorched.

Solemnly the 5 occupants of the vehicle took in the ravaged area in silence, each lost in their own thoughts as they processed the scene that unfolded in front of them as they drove on.

Carefully executing a small series of turns, they found themselves passing an area with a great many more toppled trees and piles of etched and adorned concrete. What used to be 10 ft iron gates were now just a series of bent and twisted bars, the scrolled sign that sat above them, saying Restf instead of Restfield Cemetery and they realized they were passing the cemetery. Buffy felt her heart clench painfully in her chest; feeling as if someone had reached inside and was squeezing it tightly and making it hard for it to beat. Silently, the tears that had been building since the moment they reached the crater welled up, causing her vision to become blurry. Two more turns and they were in what used to be the residential areas of Sunnydale, and 3 minutes later, what used to be left of Revello Drive and they pulled up to another dark SUV, before parking behind it.

Seeing the driver’s side door open, their silent questions of ‘Who?’ were answered as Wesley Windham-Price stepped from the confines of the Ford Explorer. Seeing him galvanized the group into action and as Angel shut off the car, Giles and Xander were opening doors and climbing out, Buffy, Willow and Angel following behind. The small group gathered together, Buffy walking past them until she stood just a few feet from the remainder of her home and they let her go, understanding her unspoken need.

She stared, her green eyes shimmering with tears as she took in the fractured and splintered boards of what remained of the front porch, spindly pieces of the banister to the stairs poking through plaster and drywall just behind it. To the side she could see the toppled sofa, the underside facing up so that she could see the black coiled springs with what looked to be the torn, grit-covered honey-blonde wooden lid to the trunk Xander had made for her wedged in between them.

’Oh God, my house. It’s gone. It really is gone. I mean I know…but it’s really gone. I can’t…I can’t do this. I can’t.’

Beyond the sofa was the huge tree that once nestled in her front yard, snapped in two much like a twig instead of the solid oak that it was. Remembering how many times she had climbed up and down that tree or had come home to find Spike there waiting for her, it shook her, the sight of the long tangled roots ripped out of the ground making her feel queasy and she quietly began to pray.

’God, please. I don’t know what to do. Please, help me. I don’t know what to do. Please, please…I don’t know if I can do this. Please, God, please. What should I do? What do I do?’

She started to shake, losing her footing and she looked down at her feet and inanely wondered why they didn’t work anymore when strong arms encased in tobacco-coloured suede come around her from behind, lending her the support she needed. Turning in the arms that encircled her, she buried her face into Giles’ chest as Willow and Xander hovered at their side; Willow rubbing small circles in the middle of her back and Xander squeezing her shoulder in support with his free arm wrapped around Willow.

For moments they stood there, each taking solace in each other, when Buffy lifted her head, looking at each of them, her sorrow etched in the deep lines that seemed to have suddenly appeared across her features.

“Let’s go see what we can find,” she said quietly, and they moved away slowly, keeping their pattern in a protective circle around the anguished blonde girl. Before the circle was broken, she stopped, looking at them again and offering each of them a tight smile before she whispered, “Thank you,” and she made her way through the debris, through to the ‘inside’ of the remains of her home.


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Faith stood, looking at herself in the mirror once more and she couldn’t help the worried looks she cast at her reflection. Closing her eyes, she tilted her head to the left and then to the right, stretching the muscles in her neck and trying to relieve some of the tension in her shoulders.

She made a show of flushing the toilet before turning on the taps over the sink and splashing her face with cool water. Pulling a hand towel from the ring next to the mirror, she blotted her face dry, before burying her face in her towel covered hands for a few moments, trying to calm the nerves twisting in her stomach.

’God, Robin. Please don’t leave me. I need you baby. Please don’t leave me to do this by myself. I’m crazy about you baby. I lov…’

With wide, shocked eyes, Faith whipped her head up and looked at herself in the mirror once more.

Her thoughts took another leap, this time trying to wrap themselves around what she almost thought, not even realizing the words the words that exploded from her mouth.

“Holy shit!”

’I love him?!? I LOVE HIM!’

Looking at the closed door to the bathroom, the dark-hair slayer almost ripped it from its hinges as she moved fast, suddenly needing to be in the arms of the man she just realized she had fallen head over heels for.

Finding him standing by the bed with a glass of milk, she launched herself at him, wrapping arms and legs around his body and pressing her lips to his as she felt his arms encircle her tightly and he was kissing her back just as feverishly, neither of them remembering or caring about the glass of milk as it bounced on the carpeted floor, splashing its contents across the hem of the blankets and across the nightstand.


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They worked in silence for some minutes, the only sounds were of laboured breathing mixing in with the hum of the generator powering the 2 floodlights they had and the grating, grinding, scraping sounds as they moved tumbled rocks and broken bits of furniture to the side.

Wesley had produced a couple of pairs of work gloves to protect their hands and Buffy was finally able to make it to what was left of her room, recognizing the sagey-green stripes on some of the broken walls.

Thunder rumbled over their heads and they all stopped to look up at the sky. Looking around, Buffy watched as they all pitched in; Angel helping Xander move a particularly large section of wall while Willow cleared a small area for her to kneel in, Giles and Wesley having moved the broken sections of the stairs to the side, helping her. Seeing a flash of lightning, Buffy remembered passing the Magic Box and was suddenly struck with the idea of Giles’ loss too.

“Giles, while don’t you and Angel go see what you can find from the Magic Box. It’s going to rain soon, and if there are any books and stuff that can be salvaged, you should probably try to do it now.”

Glancing at her, he clapped his glove covered hands together, forming a small cloud of dust before using one of his hands to push his glasses back up to the bridge of his nose.

“Are you sure Buffy? I don’t mind staying here to help you. This is what we came here for,” he responded quietly, swiping his forearm over his forehead, nicking away the sweat.

“Yeah, sure. Go. Go rescue what of your precious books you can rescue. I’ll be fine here with Xander and Willow. You can take Wesley and Angel with you and between the 6 of us, we should be able to get what we can from both places before the rain hits.”

At his unsure expression, she looked towards Angel, asking him silently with her eyes.

“She has a point Giles. I can move the heavy stuff out of the way while you and Wes load up what you can. We can leave my car here with them and they can load what they find and we’ll take Wes’s over to the Magic Box,” the dark-haired vampire said evenly.

“Well, yes, I suppose we can do that then, if the rest of you really don’t mind,” Giles asked, looking around at the nodding heads. “Alright then. I believe we’d better go soon, before the storm arrives.”

Wes walked over to Willow, pulling his phone from his pocket and handing it to her.

“Angel’s number is programmed in there. If you need anything, call and we’ll come right back.”

At her quiet “Ok,” Wes gently squeezed her arm before turning towards Giles and Angel who had already moved away and were walking towards his car.

The slim redhead looked around, watching for a few moments as Buffy and Xander resumed their work. Saying a silent prayer in her head, Willow knelt back down to sort through the scattered books she uncovered.

’Goddess, please, just let us find what we can before the rains come.’