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Fumbling Towards Ecstasy by TalesofSpike
 
Chapter 5.13
 
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Note: Thanks to my beta t_geyer for her unending patience, perseverance and support.




Chapter 5.13
Monday, May 20th, 2002

"Is Giles okay?" Tara pushed a newly-made mug of hot chocolate in the direction of the barefoot vamp as he slipped quietly in through the back door and then fetched some more milk from the fridge to start over again on a cup for herself.

"'Bout as okay as you are, pet, but he's a big boy." Spike climbed onto one of the stools by the counter and took a weary sip from the proffered mug. Within seconds Rogue's head rested on his thigh, her tail brushing eagerly back and forth over the tiled floor. "He'll pull it together, an' in the long run it's got to be better to get to put things straight. Buffy?"

"She went straight out on patrol from The Magic Box. Her and Faith. They're not back yet but I don't think she was expecting you home for at least another half an hour."

Spike shrugged. "Watcher gave the gyppo an early pass. Think the poor bugger didn't know whether to be pleased or wait till I pissed off and bawl his eyes out about that."

"The perfect happiness... Isn't that meant to be nearly impossible?"

"Not when you're in love, Tinkerbell, but buggered if I could be happy if I knew I was spendin' my last ever day with Buffy."

"But it isn't- Their last day, I mean. If she's right... they'll. I mean..."

"They'll get to be together in heaven? Sounds good, love, but it's not like any of us get a guarantee on that front, though if anyone argued over you gettin' in I might just have to knock some sense into them." Spike made his best attempt at a teasing smile, but didn't come particularly close.

"What's up, Spike? You're acting like it's... Well, I guess I didn't think it would bother you like it seems to be."

"An' that is precisely what's botherin' me... I mean, other than grief, what the hell did I get out of this little escapade? So why was I letting the bint wander round in my body? Watcher could just as easy have hypnotised her to have her emotional orgasm there an' then. Just, 'poof' an' she'd've been gone. An' instead I'm wanderin' around in a frock...

You know what I said when Angel told me he'd killed her? I told him he was meant to be killing the slayer, not leaving gag gifts in her friends' beds. So, how the hell did I end up here? Givin' the bint room an' board in my noggin'? Tryin' to make Rupert..." Spike glugged down a mouthful of chocolate in lieu of continuing.

"You already know the answer to that. B.U.F.F.Y. ...if it needs spelling out."

"An' you... an' Bit... an' even Anya... but every now an' then, I run into the guy I used to be an' it kinda hits home fresh that I barely warrant the name demon any more."

"You're still a demon. You're just our demon."

Spike shook his head. "They say I'm her lapdog... an' they're right."

Tara tipped the milk she had been heating into a second mug even though it wasn't quite as warm as she would have liked, taking it over to sit next to the vampire. She reached out and picked up Spike's free hand in hers, regaining his attention. "I'd say you're more a wolf, loyal, not likely to turn on anyone once they earn your love, but always wild, always proud and independent, a free spirit who'll never be anyone's to simply command even if he does give that person his whole heart."

"Have we got him feeling all domesticated again?" Dawn asked as she slipped into the room, her unshod feet all but silent. The teen poured some milk from the carton that still sat in the bench into a glass and pulled a packet of chocolate chip cookies from the cupboard.

"A bit."

The vampire grunted.

Dawn tilted her head to one side. "My turn, I guess. You know that thing I said I would talk to you about?"

Spike answered with a puzzled nod.

"'Kay. I worked out there was one big difference between what they did to me and what they did to you... Sure, I'm not in a big hurry to go through anything even remotely like that again, but they didn't put a chip in my head."

"Niblet-."

"Hear me out. I might be fifteen but I'm not stupid.

They didn't do anything that fundementally changes who I am or what I'm capable of. She scared the living crap out of me, but thanks to you she isn't going to be able to do it again, though I can't say that I'd be upset if we could kinda check up on that somehow.

Bottom line, barring a bad dream or two, the power they have over me is as much or as little as I choose to let them have.

And now that the chip's gone, the same goes for you. The only limits to what you can do, what you're capable of, how much of a demon you want to be or how much of a man, are those you set for yourself.

Anyone who's stupid enough to think you're anybody's tame attack dog is going to reconsider pretty quick, but if they want to underestimate you, that's their look out. If they can't see that there's a scar on Buffy's neck that looks to me like it was a demon that put it there... If they can't work out that you and Buffy are about as 50-50 as you can get, and if anything makes it look any different at first glance then it's that way only because you choose to let it be, because you'd rather use your strength to help her than in some pissing contest to see which of you is better, then they deserve what's coming to them.

I sure as hell would rather have Buffy pissed at me than you... even before the chip came out." Dawn pulled a cookie from the packet, munching away and washing it down with a swig of milk that left a white moustache on her upper lip, transforming her instantly from wisewoman to kid.

"Sentiments appreciated, pet, but I doubt your mum would approve of the language."

"Probably not, but if she caught you moping 'cause you think you're not the Big Bad any more, she'd probably have either sworn at you herself or kicked your butt... one of the two, and since we've only managed one of those training sessions I have to settle for the harsh language... for now."

"You saying that you think the time'll come that you can kick my ass?"

"I'm saying if you and Buffy train me properly there might come a time when I can give you a run for your money."

After a moment's consideration Spike allowed himself to be mollified. "Maybe... in a decade or two."

"You wish..."

Tara watched as the philosophical discussion dissolved into fraternal bickering, taking a few seconds to enjoy the sense of family before she intervened to free Dawn of a not particularly tight headlock.







Tuesday, May 21st, 2002

"Spike?" Buffy's voice was tentative at first but after she had pushed the bedroom door open far enough to be able to see the first few of the candles that were spread around the room she knew the vampire would be awake, even before she spotted him lying on the bed wearing only a pair of black skin-tight jeans.

"An' who else are you expectin' in your room at this hour?" The vampire placed the book he'd been reading on the bedside table, opening his arms in welcome.

"We-ell, assuming you've got rid of your passenger, there's a certain canine who seems to think she's your shadow..." She eyed the grey ball that lay beside him. "...And of course until I get my hands on that body for all I know it could be the First Evil lying on my bed half-naked." She paused inches from his fingertips. "In fact, I bet if you were the real Spike, you'd be all -naked," she teased.

"Not when Bitlet's been in and out every ten minutes since I came upstairs, I wouldn't," Spike answered as he made a grabbing lunge and pulled her down on top of him.

Buffy's expression immediately became more serious. "Is she okay? Everything that's been going on, you kinda forget it's less than a week since all the trouble with Sam. We don't even know if Riley's still in town and Tara still needs to do that spell to do whatever with all their bugs."

"Shh, pet. She's fine. She's been checking on me. Thinks I might pine away without you or something, and apparently Tara picked up the last bits she needed for that spell when she was at the magic shop, so while you were out on patrol she cleared there an' the house of all their little nasties... Harrises' place is gonna have to wait until she gets her exams out of the way, but..."

Buffy smiled as his hand stroked her cheek before drawing her lips to his, the affection and muted desire leaping from him to her like a charge of static electricity. She rode out the extended kiss before she pulled back.

"Minty."

"You try 'wakin' up' with the Watcher lyin' on top of you and his tongue in your mouth an' see how much toothpaste you go through."

Buffy tried and almost managed to contain her giggles at the thought. "And I thought come five to twelve he would have arranged himself all prim and proper."

"Yeah, well, so did I, but seein' as how I found myself back just before eleven, I reckon he was taken a bit by surprise."

"Thank you," Buffy told him after she managed to control her laughter enough to draw breath. She kissed him softly on the end of his nose.

"Huh?"

"Not enough that I say it once?" Buffy teased before becoming serious again. "Thank you. It's been a hell of a ride the last few weeks. I mean, no apocalypse, touch wood..." She ran her fingers through the closely shorn curls at the back of his neck. "...But some major intensity all the same and you've kinda had the worst of it, so I could understand if you just wanted to recuperate a bit and instead you're trying to sort stuff out with Giles and Angel, and it might have been a stupid idea but I know that you did it for me."

"I'd do anything for you, woman mine, especially if I'm drunk and it's stupid, an' gettin' away with dumpin' his lordship in a bath of ice water is just a bonus."

"Well, I know that includes looking after Dawnie but how about helping me work out what to do with Willow?"

"I suppose a chorus of 'Burn the witch' would be deemed unconstructive?" he asked receiving a gentle swat on the arm for his trouble. "But, yeah, if I can help, I will. Just don't know right now whether there's anything anyone can do other than Red herself. Until she really admits she has a problem..."

"Doesn't matter... However long it takes, whatever's to come, you're gonna be right here?"

The words walked the tightrope between question and statement of fact, but Spike chose to answer anyway. "Right here, right next to you... or is that under you? Around you?" he suggested, his arms pulling her closer as his eyes gleamed. "Inside you?"

"Hold that thought," she told him.

"Not gonna help me expunge the memory of findin' myself under your father-figure?"

"Not right this minute." Buffy eased herself out of his arms as gently as she could. "I've gotta find some clothes for Faith. Turns out she only has one set and I think maybe some of my older stuff might fit."

"So what's the deal with her?" Spike asked as Buffy climbed to her feet once more. "I thought she'd be headin' for Mexico or somewhere, not hangin' round here playin' houseguest. An' I was rather hopin' to get you back to where those clothes would actually fit, otherwise we'd have cleared them out rather than moving them from room to room."

Buffy shrugged. "Like I'm going to wear stuff that's two years out of date? Seems she's going to stay until this deal with The First is over, one way or another."

"Stay in Sunnydale, or stay here like a great big mooch?"

"Spi-ike. It's not like she can get a job."

"She hangs 'round the docks, then I doubt anyone's gonna be askin' for references."

"Spike!" Buffy pulled items of clothing from her drawers as she half-hissed at him, stacking them on the dresser. "She'll hear."

"Good, then she'll bloody know that she's not stayin' here as an unpayin' guest indefinitely. If the watcher can't work his way around the paperwork, she'll have to work one of the demon bars or something. If you can work in burger hell, I'm damned if she's gonna get a free ride not that there's really space for anybody else anyway... or if she is looking for a mealticket she can look up that Travers git when he gets here. She's not your responsibility."

"And if she ends up relying on Travers and he decides that the price of her room and board is for her to get rid of a certain vampire that he's already demonstrated he wants dead?"

"Then I'll kick her ungrateful arse an' ditch her on the cop shop steps."

"Subtle. Just give her a few days to find her feet, okay?"

"O-o-o-kay." Spike's lips formed a pout. "You're not givin' her the red leather pants, are you?"

Buffy rolled her eyes and pushed the blood red trousers back into the drawers and the vampire's expression softened. "Tell her if she's hangin' around I'll get Clem to have a word with his new bird, see if they've got anything going at her place."

"The bar you didn't want me going to?"

"The bar I don't want you going to, but, somehow, I doubt yer mate's goin' to find much she hasn't at least seen already. If they have a need for someone on security they might even supply a room."

"As opposed to a job doing what?"

"Waitin' tables. I doubt even your little miscreant would be up for any of their other types of employment."

"If it's that bad, Travers can pull some strings and get her some fake papers."

"Fine, just so long as six months from now she's not still sleepin' on the sofa."

"Don't be silly." Buffy picked up the pile of clothing that she had sorted out, waiting until she was heading out the bedroom door to reply further. "Xander promised to have the basement done before the wedding, so then she'd get the spare room."








Buffy set the ice bucket on the bedside table, nudging Spike's novel to one side. From the adjacent room, the pipes clattered briefly before they heard the softer sound of the shower running. "You're not really angry with me for asking her to stay, are you?" Buffy asked, as she perched on the edge of the bed and bent to remove her boots and socks.

"'M not mad at you at all, my honey goddess." Spike rolled over, his body curling around her like iron filings drawn to a magnet. He twisted his upper body until he could reach up and brush her cheek with the back of a knuckle. "How could I be mad at you for being just like your mum an' wanting to look after everyone, huh?" The teasing glint left the vampire's eyes and when he continued his tone was deathly serious. "But so help me if she tries to take advantage of you, she will be out on her ear so fast she won't know what hit her."

"I don't think she will, this time." Buffy loosened the flies on her jeans.

"An' that is why you need a nasty, rude man watching out for you... so that other nasty, rude people don't push their luck."

"Always..." she told him and she meant it. She couldn't help but smile as the palm of his hand pressed against her stomach, preventing her from standing back up, and then, she wasn't quite sure how, but she found herself sitting on his lap as he moved in for a kiss with tantalising slowness.

"Tease," she accused before she closed the gap herself.

"Says the woman as brought in the ice..."



The End

Continued in Book 5 'Angels and Demons '
 
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