Buffy was amazed at just how big Joni’s eyes got at the sight of the tiny kitchenette of the little apartment she and Spike had shared, before he’d left to find her; and her heart hurt a little as she saw Joni hold Spike’s neck tighter as he carried her to the table for her cocoa, “What’s the matter, Sweetheart?”

“It’s just…It’s so big!”

Buffy remembered her brief time in that little cabin. A cabin that was essentially one small room, and she smiled, “I know, but Daddy’s here, right? You know he would never let anything bad happen to you,” she watched as Joni’s eyes drifted down again, as if in thought, Joni sighed and looked at her mother, “I know you won’t either, Mommy…I’m sorry.”

Buffy’s chest tightened and she turned her back, hurrying to pull out a chair for her to sit on and not wishing to have either Spike or Joni see her shaking hands that had a very tight and painful grip on the chair, “You don’t have anything to be sorry for, Joni,” she said in a quivering voice, “But I’m glad you know that, even though it’s been a long time since I’ve seen you,” she turned again to face them, and noticed Spike’s head tilting in a very familiar way, his eyes softening as he looked at her. Stepping clear of the chair, she wanted nothing more than to grasp them both and hold on desperately even as Spike softly moved past her and placed Joni on the chair then turned it and slid it slowly under the table.

Buffy watched as he tenderly kissed the top of Joni’s head then walked around and pulled out one of the empty chairs at the other side of the table and waited. He stood there for a beat, his eyes locking with hers, at first there was a confident look in them but the longer she stood there, not knowing what he expected of her, the more she saw trepidation crowd the confidence out of his gaze.

It wasn’t until Joni spoke up, in a breathlessly hopeful voice, that Buffy knew what to do, or even remembered that she was in the room, “Mommy, I know this,” she said confidently, “It’s from the fairy tales Papa told me. You…are supposed to sit, then we can talk.”

Suddenly Buffy felt incredibly stupid, and blushed because of it. She knew he saw her blush when his mouth quirked upward in a sly smirk, and he arched an eyebrow before his eyes lowered again, as he still waited for her.

She rushed to do as her little girl asked, nearly tripping over herself in her rush to do so, “Well, that was silly of me, wasn’t it?” she asked as she pulled her chair back under the table.

She expected Spike to grumble some sort of disapproval as he straightened up and took the seat beside her, but instead she felt the breeze of a soft purr brush her skin as his movement shifted to somewhere behind her, near the stove.

Buffy wasn’t sure why, but she wasn’t worried. The action of preparing cocoa seemed second nature to him, “Daddy’s done this before?” she asked Joni.

“Yes,” Joni nodded eagerly, “Papa showed him how. My Daddy’s very smart.”

Buffy nodded. Yes, he is. Especially if Papa is who he said he was. I still have to figure out how Willow did what she did… “Do you remember very much about Papa?”

“Not much,” she admitted shyly, “He’s mostly in my dreams now. And he glows.”

Buffy was concerned, “He glows?”

Joni nodded, and Buffy tried to shake an unconscious feeling of dread. She was completely unaware that what she had just said was anything but normal. She had no way of knowing what had happened the last time her Mom saw her Daddy glow, “In my dreams I’m a big girl and I see the fairy tales in my head. It hurt, at first, Papa told me…when he first learned to glow,” Joni said, as she watched anxiously as Spike walked over to her with the kettle of steamed milk to pour into her waiting cup, “But, he’s happy now. And, he’s happy I’m here, and that you don’t have to be sick.”

Buffy sensed Spike’s uneasiness with this topic, and saw it in his eyes as she slowly straightened; she saw raw pain flit across his gaze as he slowly shook his head, as if in warning, “Well, I’m happy about that too, Joni,” her eyes drifted back to the child, “What else do you remember?”

“I remember what it was like when you weren’t there,” Joni’s eyes misted with tears, “Daddy was so sad. I wanted to help,” she whispered, her lip quivering, “but I was too little…But, in my dreams, I’m big. I tried to help. But, I got stuck.”

Buffy’s breath caught. Everything Jonina was saying, she’d seen in her own dreams. Everything fit with what Homer had told her. And now she knew…

It was true, all of it.

“…Papa caught me…and kept me safe, until Daddy and you came to get me.”

Buffy’s mind spun. It all fit. The Slayers’ illness and her dreams… but something was missing. It was something important…but what was it?

“Do you know where Papa is now?” she asked

She shook her head, as she sipped on her cocoa, “No,” she said simply, “And, he won’t tell me. I’ve asked. He says he doesn’t matter now,” she bit her lip, and Buffy knew she was about to cry; she was biting her lip to try and keep the tears from falling, “But he matters to me,” her little voice rose in distress, “I miss him.”

“I know you do,” Buffy agreed, “He protected you for a long time. Didn’t he?”

Spike, who had been dutifully keeping watch over the scene, instantly sprang into action, feeling her distress. He knelt next to her chair, spinning it so that Joni was facing him and picked her up, and held her close to him. Buffy could see that he was struggling to find the words he needed in order to comfort her, and she waited for him to say them, because she needed them too.

“No, Dove…” he said gently, his voice a near whisper, “love you…more than…” his jaw twitched in frustration as he searched for the words, “You…” his eyes locked again with Buffy’s and then went back to Joni, “You…” he touched his chest and shook his head, a sad smile played on his lips, “Nothing…hurts…” he tapped his chest, “you’re here…forever.”

The scene and the words touched something deep inside of Buffy, and she sighed at the warmth that infused her.

That warmth quickly became a numbing cold as she watched Jonina’s small face contort with tears that wouldn’t stop, “Daddy, I know Papa hurts but he won’t tell me how to fix it! I don’t remember how to fix it. I want you to be happy, Daddy; Papa too,” Spike pulled her gently to him, and she cried into his neck, “I know Rabbit knows how to fix it but I don’t know how to find him.”

Buffy had no idea what was worrying her daughter, but that didn’t matter. She was worried. That was enough.

It was then that she remembered that Joni had said that something wasn’t right, and seeing the anguish on Spike’s face, something told her that he felt it too.

In that moment she made them both a promise. She didn’t know what “Rabbit” meant to Joni, or even if he was real; the only rabbit she knew of was Joni’s toy, but that didn’t matter. She would find him, no matter how long it took, because he knew something…something important.

Something that was critical to her family’s happiness. And, she would find that thing, whatever it was, no matter what it cost her.