Disclaimer: Buffy the Vampire Slayer and all characters belonging to the show are the creation of Joss Whedon, and I make no money off of doing them justice.

Chapter Comments: I want to give a big BIG thank you to all of my wonderful reviewers ^_^ I love you all, and its wonderful to know how much the scenarios that go on inside my head are appreciated.
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Day 5

Buffy approached the house slowly. Everything seemed numb. She wasn’t sure what to think or what to feel. She opened the door and quietly walked back in, turning on the lights as she passed the rooms on the way to the kitchen.

She had come home alone.

Everything in the house suddenly seemed too perfect. Shouldn’t it carry some of the scars from events that had passed there not long ago?

But of course, it carried no marks at all.

…Because this place had seen nothing of those battles and trials in her memory. Her real home was, in fact, long gone.

Buffy made her way to the kitchen, needing something to do. She looked around at some of the dishes that she’d left piled in the sink, then turned on the water and found the dish soap. Buffy needed something to occupy her hands, and even if she patrolled all night, she knew she would find nothing to slay. The only people; the only creatures there were her and Spike. They had the entire town to themselves - only a few nights left to be together - and he was on the opposite side of that empty town.
The Slayer couldn’t help the sudden sob that escaped her throat. She wiped away the tears that began to blur her vision, then forced herself to stay quiet as she continued washing the dishes like it was every other day. Despite her determination not to think of it, memories of the night before suddenly invaded her mind.

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Spike had let her hold him for a while after the much-needed confrontation in front of the high school. Buffy knew that he had needed to say the things he had said for years. Going to the grave with such burdens wasn’t something she would have wished for him. Of course, it didn’t make it any easier to hear them, or to say the things that she had neglected to say for so long.

They held one another silently for long moments. Buffy just wanted to absorb the feeling of his body pressed so intimately against hers. She wanted to memorize his scent. She could hear him taking deep breaths, probably doing the same. His fingers were brushing through her hair reverently.

Finally, he pulled away. Buffy wanted to cling to him, but he took both her hands and pushed them away. When he raised his eyes to meet hers again, his emotions were under control, but there was a heavy weariness to him.

“What is this, Buffy?” he finally asked. When she looked at him in confusion he elaborated, waving his hand around towards the school and beyond. “All of this…is any of it real?”

Buffy swallowed hard and looked down for a moment. How to explain it? She took a deep breath to steady her voice, then met his intense, searching gaze again.

“Sunnydale…is gone.” She looked around at their surroundings. “The school…the hellmouth, the house…none of it’s real.”

Spike looked away from her again, but before he could continue his pacing, Buffy had reached out and taken his hand. She pulled him close and held it tightly, before turning his chin towards her and forcing him to look at her. “We’re real. You and me…we’re the only things really here…but we are here.” She stroked his cheek softly with just the barest touch of her fingertips, before raising their joined hands and kissing the back of his. “This is real.”

He studied her carefully. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse. “How?”

“I made a wish…”

Spike couldn’t help the sarcastic snort. “Cause those always turn out so well…”

Buffy laughed a little, some of the unbearable tension seeming to have fled in light of just a small bit of laughter. She did her best to continue, now that her voice was completely steady. “I um…I made a wish for another chance; because you didn’t believe me. And I know…I know that there was no reason for you to believe that I loved you…but I couldn’t let it end that way, you know?”


He nodded silently, swallowing at a lump in his throat.

“This…” she waved her hand around them. “All of this…it was made from our memories. Everything is neat, and clean and in order, because that’s how we prefer to see it. That’s how it still comes up in our minds. The only things real here are you and me. It’s our own little sanctuary.” She laughed again, but nervously this time. His silence was unnerving, but she pushed on. “I’m sorry about the lies…I didn’t want you to remember, because I didn’t want the burden of how little time we have hanging over our heads.”


“So you did all this…for me?” The vulnerability and disbelief in his voice was almost enough to break Buffy’s heart.

She nodded. “I messed up so badly…and I wasted what little time we had to really make things right. We were just starting to build something so much stronger than what we had before…” She had to stop to take another steadying breath. “But…I made the decision when I thought back on something you had told me. You told me that that night we held one another…that night you gave me strength… was the best night of your life.”

Spike tilted his head, looking down at her with a bit of confusion. “Yeah…?”

Buffy shook her head. “Because we were close that night…” She couldn’t help the tear that moved slowly down her cheek. “All you ever wanted was to be close…and that was the one thing I would never allow you. All that time together, and you’re right, I never tried. I never tried to heal things, or to see if any of it could work…I never tried to let you be close. And because of that, the best memory in your life was us huddled together in an abandoned house trying to be strong in the face of doom.”

He opened his mouth to protest but Buffy cut him off, brushing her fingers gently against his lips while she did so. “You deserve better than that, Spike…if that’s the best memory I can give you, than I don’t deserve all you’ve done for me. I wanted…I NEEDED to give you something better than that. I needed to see you smile and laugh, and I needed you to know that you were loved…that you ARE loved. So yeah, I made a wish…I bought us just a little more time to make things right, and to do things right.”

Spike was speechless for a moment. He could only stare down at her; though for once, his emotions were not so obviously stamped on his face. If anything, he was unreadable.

“How long?”

“A week…” Buffy sighed. “That’s at least something I didn’t lie to you about.”

He nodded slowly. “Not much longer, then…” He stepped away from her, deep in thought. “I need…I need to think. I need time…” He laughed to himself. “Who am I kidding? There is no time.”

“Spike…”

He turned to her and held up a hand to silence her protest. “Just…give me a moment, yeah? I just need to get my thoughts together.”

Buffy was stunned, not wanting him to go. She wanted to drag him back to the house and spend every last moment they had with him, but instead she numbly watched his retreating back as he walked away from the school, and away from her.

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Buffy stared out the windows. The dishes were done, but she hadn’t turned off the water yet. Her hands had gotten pruny, and she was officially worried.

It was already dawn. The morning sky was turning pink, and her body was screaming its exhaustion. Her emotions had sapped the last of her strength. Finally realizing that the constant noise in the background was the sink, she turned the water off and didn’t bother drying her hands before going upstairs.

He hadn’t come back. It was dawn already, and he hadn’t returned to her. Did he hate her for this? Was he going to come back at all, before it was too late? Would she screw things up more if she sought him out?

Another sob escaped, and she couldn’t force the rest down. She made her way into her bedroom, not bothering to close the door before she began to strip. Everything in the room reminded her of their happier days. If she could ask nothing else, she just hoped that the time they had together had given him some measure of joy.

She climbed into the bed, needing to sleep.

A few hours passed. Sleep didn’t want to come. She still remembered the hard body that had slept next to her, beneath her or partially on top of her the last few days. Every time she would start to drift, she thought she heard a noise down below and her eyes would snap open. Her heart would beat hard in anticipation, and each time, as many minutes passed, she would realize it wasn’t him, and the disappointment was almost overwhelming.

It was 10:50 A.M. before fitful sleep had come to her. She lie, drifting half in and half out, her heart heavy and her mind burdened. It was then that she heard another noise, but her heart couldn’t lift to hope. It sounded like there were footsteps on the stairs, but still she didn’t allow herself to look. She wouldn’t open her eyes to find an empty bed.

The smell of slightly cooked vampire invaded the room. Something was tossed aside onto the floor, then the wonderful feeling of someone settling on the bed beside her brought her mostly out of sleep.

“Spike?” her voice was soft, her exhaustion still pulling her towards dreamland.

“Shhh…” He settled under the covers right next to her, and Buffy nearly sobbed out loud again as she reached out to touch him.

Spike moved close to her. He was still wearing his clothes, even his leather duster. His clothes and his skin were warm from the morning stroll, but luckily nothing was crispy. Buffy snuggled close to him, grabbing hold of the lapels of his duster and burying her face against his chest. “You came back…I didn’t know if you would…”

She felt his arm wrap around her, then his fingers were gently stroking her face, his thumb rubbing her temple in a soothing circle. “Shhhh…” He kissed her forehead tenderly, a loving caress of soft lips. “Rest now. I’m here.”

“Don’t wanna…” But now that Spike was there, comforting her with his mere presence and gentle touches, her body was able to relax. The dark reached up for her again, but this time it was warm. Her lover had come back, and they still had time.