Buffy barely noticed that Angel wasn’t where she had left him. There were too many thoughts running through her head as she gathered the first aid kit. Oh, God! How do I help? Bandages…blood…they’re broken…they’re broken…Fix it! Fix it? How…?

She knew that something was missing. Angel was gone, and as far as she was concerned, he could take his chances with the dark.

The only thing she cared about right now was Spike, and breaking through the wall of anguish she could hear him building around himself.

And, I should know. I built one, too. I know that sound…

That sound was cold and sharp as a blade. It wasn’t sorrow or rage, or even grief.

It was beyond the spoken word. It was a feeling. A feeling she’d only felt twice before in her life. But, once felt, it could never, would never be forgotten.

It was Hell itself.

The vicious keening shook the glass in the windows, it choked the air around her, made it hard to breathe. It made her want to cry out to someone, anyone. It made her want to beg for mercy for him, and Joni.

The sharpness of his cry made her wonder if she would be able to reach him. Had he survived the suffering and pain that Angel had put him through- that she had put him through? Or, was he gone forever?

Was she too late to save him?

Maybe. But, Buffy knew she wasn’t going to give up without a fight.

She rushed back to the little room, and knelt beside him. Her hands were shaking as she opened the first aid kit.

“Joni,” she whispered, “Mommy’s here, now. Daddy’s got you,” she breathed, trying to comfort her unconscious child, “He won’t let anything bad happen to you. He loves you, you know that…”

She heard her Papa’s voice, but it was too dark to see. Papa was rumbling, but something was different. She had always been able to see him so clearly. He was bright. He glowed.

But, now it was dark. Now, it was cold. And the sound was so sad. Her Daddy was crying, and so was Papa “But, Papa, Spike told me to…” Joni whispered, squinting through the dark, wanting to see her Papa’s face.

The sound was different. It hurt. Had she done something wrong? Why was Papa crying? Was he hurt?

She hated it when her Papa cried. He cried too much, “Oh, but Spike didn’t know, Sweetheart,” Papa’s voice whispered, “He didn’t understand. He didn’t know you were going to be the Slayer. He just loved you, and that’s not easy for him. He loved you, and he wanted to protect you. ”

Joni stepped forward. She knew her Papa was out there, in the dark somewhere, but the shadows were too big. They were made of thick colors, purple and black.

“Spike is smart, Papa,” her voice squeaked, as she looked down at her yellow nightgown. It had red streaks on it now. “He told me to run,” she said, looking back out into the darkness, searching for something.

Something was wrong. Something was missing.

Her hands were empty.

“Where is my rabbit?” Spike Rabbit was always close when she was scared. * Always. * So, where was he now? What had she done to make him go away?

“I have to leave now, Jonina…”

“No!” Joni screamed, “You have to help me find my rabbit! Maybe he fell on the floor,” she cried, falling to her knees. She just had to find him.

She searched, but it was so dark, and her Daddy was still crying.

Joni was sure her Papa was out there, somewhere in the dark. She looked up. He had kissed her face. She could feel it, could still hear his voice.

“Can’t be in the dark forever. Have to wake up, and see what you can do…It’s beautiful.”

“No,” Joni whimpered. Something was wrong. The darkness was going away, and so was her Papa, “I have to find…”

“Rabbits can’t be forever… I’ll always be here.”

“But, where is…?”

The light was so bright. She didn’t want her Papa to go away. The light would burn him. She knew that. But, somehow she knew it didn’t hurt. She saw him smile.

The little light, it was pretty. A swirl of red, and blue and yellow, the light smiled at her. It was her friend. Her family. Someone her Daddy knew, a long time ago, someone who looked like Papa but wasn’t.

Someone with a little girl he loved. A little girl that was here, but wasn’t, anymore.

A vampire. The vampire that took her Papa away, took him into the light, and burned him. He had taken her away, too. The little girl was gone, and he was in the dark.

And suddenly, she knew…
********************************************************

Buffy finished wiping Joni’s face, when she felt her stir. The slight movement caused her to gasp. She knew that Spike had felt it too, because he suddenly stopped. The frantic petting and sobbing, the pain that had been so thick that she could almost see it, suddenly disappeared. For a precious second, he didn’t move, his entire being focused and waiting for her. Waiting for the slight flutter of her breath.

“Spike,” Buffy shuddered with relief.

He looked at her, and even though he said nothing, his entire body seemed to glow with joy.

Joni’s eyes fluttered open and her head fell back slightly, cushioned by her father’s gentle hand. Her eyes seemed unfocused as she blinked up at him, “Daddy…?” she mumbled, ‘Where is Spike Rabbit?”

“Oh,” Spike sighed, quite sure that he had never heard anything as beautiful as that tiny little voice, calling his name, “we’ll find him, Sweetheart. You, and I and Mummy,” his voice trembled as he held her close to him.

“My face hurts…”

“I know,” Buffy said, “Mommy’s going to fix that.”

“Vampire,” Joni’s voice was soft and grieving. It was as though she had lost her best friend.

Buffy moved in close, to comfort her. She knew that Joni probably wouldn’t understand. At least she hoped not, not yet. She was too young.

Spike looked up at her, and she could feel his loss, almost as much as she felt Joni’s. This was torture for him, and for her as well.

She was too young…

“Yes, Sweetheart,” Buffy said, “Daddy is a vampire. But, he loves you,” she cooed as she swept more of the dried blood and earth from her daughter’s tiny face, “He took care of you. And, he would never hurt you, if he could help it. He loves you…more than you know.”

Buffy’s eyes drifted from the task of scrubbing, and caught the shine of silent gratitude in Spike’s eye. He clearly had no words of comfort for Joni, and was grateful that she did.

Slowly, something seemed to fall into place, and Joni turned her eyes, again, to her father, “Daddy?” she choked, tears welling up in her eyes, “I’m sorry! Don’t be scared. I didn’t mean to,” she sobbed, “Really I didn’t. I’m sorry, Daddy, really sorry…”

Spike was amazed, and humbled by her true affection, her true love for him, “It’s all right, Dove,” he said, his voice nearly overcome with relief, and the torrent of emotions that washed over him as they bled out of her, feeding him, making him stronger.

“…I’ll take good care of her, I promise,” Joni breathed.

“Who, Dove?”

“Rabbit,” Joni promised, pressing her face into her Daddy’s neck.