a/n: Thank you slaymesoftly and spikesdeb for the beta work on this chapter. I made some small changes right before posting so all mistakes are mine alone. This is my first attempt at NC-17. Feedback and Con-crit is welcomed.

Chapter Ten: I'm Here


The crypt was dark and quiet. Buffy tossed her backpack down to the lower level while Spike lit a few candles. The soft glow of pale light felt right. This place was feeling more and more like home to her and it didn't give her the wiggins to think so. She dragged her suitcase over and pushed it down into the lower level, too.

“I kind of just invited myself to move in here didn't I?” she told Spike. He'd been awfully quiet on the way back and she wasn't sure what he was thinking.

“That you did, love. But you won't find me complaining.”

“You sure you won't mind sharing your space and your stuff with me?” she teased him.

Spike was in front of her in the blink of an eye. Putting his hands on her waist, he said earnestly, “I will share anything with you. Everything.”

Her body began to hum at his declaration. If his voice hadn't been so sexy, she might have been able to form a coherent thought. She leaned in closer to him. “You know how I said we should take it slow?”

“Yeah.” He tried to back up but she put her hands on his shoulders.

“I'm thinking that was a stupid idea.”

He pulled her into a tight hug and she rubbed against him.

“Oh, thank God, cuz just being in the same room with you was driving me crazy.”

Buffy pulled his head down and kissed him. He let out a soft moan when her tongue touched his lips. She dug her fingers into his hair and pulled, while Spike tugged off his jacket with jerking motions that only intensified the kiss. Pulling her head back from him, she yanked the unbuttoned blue shirt off him with a couple of quick tugs. He looked so good with his lips all puffy from the kiss. The blue in his eyes glowed with the candle light and she wanted to melt right there with the look of pure lust he was giving her.

No blood pumped through her system, yet her juices were flowing and she could feel herself getting wet. She wondered briefly how that was possible, but then he was kissing her neck and all thoughts about vampire science fled from her.

Even the clinking sound from the metal on his belt drove her crazy and she fumbled with it to get it undone. She purposely slowed her movement and attempted to ease the zipper down, but he put his hand over hers and stopped her. Spike didn't wear anything under his jeans and if the wrong thing got caught in the zipper, it could definitely kill the mood.

“I'm being careful.”

“Wait,” he practically moaned.

“I don't want to wait.” She tried to push his hand away. “I want now.”

He chuckled lightly. “I was just thinking it might be nice to take this downstairs where there's a bed.”

She looked at him coyly. “A bed would be nice.” Pushing him towards the entrance none too gently, she said, “Hurry!” scampering in front of him and down the ladder.

She landed on the suitcase and tripped on her backpack so she kicked them out of the way before he got down. He went about lighting candle after candle until the whole area surrounding the bed was awash in a bright warm glow that made the walls seem to move and sway with the dancing light.

They stood face to face and gazed at each other.

“There's the bed,” she told him dumbly, not breaking eye contact.

“Yep, there it is. Our bed.”

She closed her eyes and let the word “our” kind of sink in. A couple of months ago, she would have been wound so tightly and probably running away if he'd said that. Now, all her reasons for trying to stay away from him were gone. She wasn't the Slayer. She was just one vampire sleeping with another vampire and she could do whatever the hell she liked. She felt like taking all her clothes off and running through the cemetery with her arms out wide.

She opened her eyes; he was watching her with an expression of awe.

“You are so bloody incredible.”

She blindly grabbed for his t-shirt while she kept her eyes locked with his before pulling it over his head. Spike stood perfectly still before her as she looked down at his finely chiseled torso. His form was like the statues of gods in her mom's gallery, all white, hard marble. She ran her hand over his chest and down his washboard abs. He looked so thoroughly roguish with the belt and top button undone that her hand couldn’t resist following her eyes along the path of fine hair that led into his jeans.

Spike grabbed her hand and brought it to his mouth to kiss it. He put his hands around her material covered ribs on either side and moved his thumbs to rub the undersides of her breasts. Who knew vampires could get goose bumps?


Buffy leaned in to him and kissed him with all the intensity that was bubbling up inside her. She pressed closer, wanting more as he was going way too slowly. Bending his knees so that they were eye to eye, Spike gently pushed them apart.

“Please,” he pleaded softly. “I need you to let me be good to you. To make up for what I did. For what I would have done.”

She felt she was going to explode with the desire and lust inside her, but she could tell he really needed to do this. “Okay,” she whispered.

He painstakingly undressed her by carefully removing one garment at a time, and when he was done, she kicked the pile of clothes to the side. He let her help him loosen his boots and she felt like a deliciously wanton tease with her head so close to his zipper. She leaned her head against it causing Spike to groan and pull her back up for a kiss while he kicked the boots off. She worked the zipper down and pushed his jeans down over his hips.

Once he had the jeans off, he climbed into bed and she got a great view of his backside. He opened the sheet for her and invited her in. When she was beside him, he enveloped them in the sheet including their heads. The light from the candles filtered through the thin, off-white sheet. The room smelled of candle wax, cigarette smoke, leather and musk.

Spike positioned her so that she was flat on her back and lightly ran a trembling hand up and down her body. “Your skin is so soft.”

She brought her hand up to touch his chest, but he pushed it away and put it back down next to her leg.

“I want to touch you, too.”

“No. If you do, I won't be able to control myself,” he told her in a firm voice.

He began kissing and caressing her from her neck down. She squirmed and did her best to stay still but he was driving her crazy. Spike's hands and mouth were everywhere, so she gathered the sheet in both hands to keep from touching him back.

When he got to her navel, he stilled and she lifted her head up to look down at him. He licked her navel and blew on it. Buffy hissed with the pleasure and he did it again, before moving down a little further and repeating the process.

Spike looked her in the eyes and said in a deep whisper, “I love you.” Then he used his tongue to lightly flick at her folds.

She arched her back and tossed her head from side to side. She was going to go stark raving mad with his gentleness. Spike wet his tongue again, and starting at the bottom of her slit, he slowly licked all the way up until he barely flicked her clit. Unable to control herself any longer, she released her hold on the sheets and grabbed his head.

“Please,” she panted with need.

He placed his thumbs on either side of her clit and gently pushed down and in and began slowly using his tongue. She squealed and bucked and moaned as he worked up to a frantic pace with his tongue and lips. She was so turned on that it didn't take long before she was screaming out in ecstasy.

Spike slowed the pace with his tongue, but kept going. She tried to push his head away because the feeling was getting too intense, but he grabbed her hips and held on tightly. She tried to relax and go with it, but her body went into hyper drive as another orgasm came upon her. Buffy screamed out again and hit him on the head.

“Too much!” she was able to say.

He looked up and smiled at her while he licked his lips and used a finger to enter her. Her eyes rolled back and she dropped her head back onto the pillow, she sat up suddenly and grabbed at him. “No more. I want you.”

Buffy dropped her head back down on the pillow as he moved up, kissing her thighs and then her stomach. He caressed her sides while he paid attention to her overly sensitive breasts with his mouth. He didn't stop her from touching him now, so she ran her hands across his shoulders and rubbed her feet on his thighs. He kissed a trail up her neck and jaw and paused to stare at her. She stared back at his intense gaze and he drank her in with his eyes. He positioned himself between her legs and rubbed himself up and down.

Buffy moved her hips in an attempt to hurry things along, but he was doing things his way. He pushed into her about an inch and stopped. She wrapped her arms around his waist and tried to pull him closer. It had been so long and she felt greedy for him.

He kissed her softly and pulled back to look at her. His tender expression was something she normally would have turned away from and blocked out of her mind. Tonight, she boldly stared back, letting her own emotions show.

“I love you so much,” Spike said with feeling, his voice catching in his throat.

“I love you, too.”

His eyes got wide and she grabbed at his backside to keep him from pulling away from her. She moved her hips. “Don't...stop,” she muttered through clenched teeth.

He surged into her and kissed her at the same time. Buffy moaned into his mouth with the pleasure of it and they moved, danced, together finding a fast rhythm. The pressure was building up again and her muscles tightened. Spike groaned and whispered her name, changing angles slightly so he was hitting just the right spot.

She closed her eyes tight and went over the edge, her walls squeezing and releasing him as he pumped in and out. He let out a short guttural sound that turned into a low moan, slammed into her and stilled.

He relaxed and fell on top of her. Buffy tightened her hold on him to keep him there. She wasn't ready to face him yet and she just wanted to bask in the afterglow. He kissed her neck and rolled them onto their sides. Spike pulled back and gazed at her, so she gave him a tentative smile.

“Was I just dream--Did I really hear you say it?” he asked her in awe.

She reached out to him and they clasped their hands together. She felt liberated from the bonds of her own making and a peaceful euphoria spread all through her body.

“You heard right. I'm in love with you.”

His hold on her hand tightened and he closed his eyes for a second.

Using her other hand, she touched his face and waited until he was ready to look her in the eyes again before saying, “I've been in love with you for a long time now. I just couldn't admit it to myself or anyone else.” It was Buffy's turn to close her eyes. “When I saw you with Anya at the Magic Box, I wanted to go kill something, or go crawl under a rock.”

“I'm so sorry.” Spike scooted closer and took her in his arms.

“No. I mean it was awful that you guys did that--being that she was my friend-- but I did tell you to move on.”

“We didn’t plan that and we were both hurting and drunk.”

“I know that now, but when you showed up that night in my bathroom, I wasn't ready to see any of that. I was using that incident and my anger to remind myself why I shouldn't love you. Then things got crazy and you left.”

“I'm here now,” he said with feeling.

“I'm here, too,” Buffy whispered back before he kissed her again.