a/n I was blown away at the support I got with the last chapter. Everyone who took the time to review, and wish me well, there are no words to say what it means to me. So as a thank you gift, here's another chappie. I also have more Beneath ready that I'll try to post within the next few days. This is not beta'ed because my updates are too irregular to keep one. That and the fact that I'm ashamed to come back after a year and call them back. So any mistakes are my own. As usual, please don't sue.

 

The discussion had been a short one.  Giles had asked questions, given some answers and promised to look for more information before leaving to go back to the Magic Box.

 

The crypt was now quiet, the pair sitting in the darkness, Buffy on the couch and Spike slouched on the chair.  Both knew that there were a lot of things that needed to be said but neither wanted to speak up first.  Hoping to break the silence that was getting a bit too heavy for his peace of mind, Spike got to his feet and taking his lighter out of his pocket, he started toward the candles that were scattered around the place.  He was stopped by Buffy’s voice.

“Spike? Can we stay in the dark please?”  Her voice was very small, reminding him of a lost little girl.

“Of course, not like I don’t see anyway.  Do you need anything pet?  I have some blood and some whiskey.  I think I still have some weetabix too but I don’t have anything to eat with it, sorry  Or I could…”  He was interrupted mid sentence.

“Could… never mind.”

“You can ask anything Slayer.”

“Would you sit with me Spike?  Please?”  The tone was pleading and it broke something inside of him.  It had been a long time since he had heard her with that particular voice, and never before had it been directed at him.  Taking a deep breath, he walked up to her.

“Course I can sweetheart.”  He sat down beside her, carefully giving her space if she needed it.  He was surprised when she moved closer to him and laid her head on his shoulder.  Automatically, his arm went around her shoulders, bringing her closer to him.

“Thank you.”

“Anything for you kitten.  Is this better then?”

“Yes… and no.”

“What do you mean?”

“I… I don’t know how I’m supposed to feel Spike.  I feel…empty I guess but there’s something inside, like I’m not alone anymore.  I’m so confused.  It feels like I’m going crazy.  I’m so tired.  And I can’t stand the thought of going to bed.  I’m scared of falling asleep, scared of waking up.  I’m terrified of what will be in my dreams, terrified of what won’t.  I can’t do this Spike, I just can’t.”  Steady tears silently trailed down her face, the harsh sobs trapped deep inside of her. 

 

His insides clenching in repressed anger, Spike softly threaded his fingers through the soft golden hair.

“It’s going to be alright pet.  You’re not alone.  Your mom and the Bit are there.”  She shuddered at his words.

“I-I can’t go home, please, don’t make me go home!  I can’t go home, please Spike, please!” Her tone was so desperate that he had to swallow past the lump in his throat.  He cursed himself.  He knew what she was feeling.  Hell, he had been there himself but she had a gentle soul, despite the fact that she was a warrior, and her reactions were not what his had been.  Hoping to calm her down, he tightened his hold on her.

 

“Shhh Slayer, you’re welcome here for as long as you want. And I swear to you, I’ll be by your side for as long as you want me to.  You’re my childe pet, and despite the fact that you’re not exactly a vamp, I’ll do anything to help you.  I stayed over a hundred years with my Sire, what makes you think I wouldn’t do the same and more for my childe?  Can’t you feel that I’ll do what’s best for you Buffy?” 

 

Buffy’s shoulders relaxed, her hold on him lessened as the panic left her body.  A soft sob escaped her and she tucked her head in his shoulder, molding her body closer to his.

 

“I… I don,t know what I feel Spike.  There’s too much feelings, too many smells, too many sounds.  It feels like I was turned inside out and I can’t focus on anything.  My heartbeat is driving me crazy, it’s like sitting on a sledgehammer.”  The comparison had Spike smiling. 

 

“That’s because it’s too fast sweetheart.  Did your Watcher ever teach you breathing exercises? Come on luv, deep breath in, hold it, breath out.  It’ll help.  Concentrate on slowing it down.”  As Buffy’s breathing evened out, Spike could hear her heartbeat slowing until it was finally back to her normal rate. 

 

“That’s it kitten.  Feel better now?”  He asked, resuming his fingers’ slow journey through her hair.  He felt more than saw her nod.

 

“See?  You can do this.” The small humourless laugh that answered him had him raising a scarred eyebrow.

 

“I don’t know what I would do without you.” 

 

“You’ll never have to find out luv.  I’m not leaving.”  The answer was automatic and the answer would have brought Spike to the floor hadn’t he been sitting down.

 

“Thank you Sire.”

 

Strucked speechless, Spike finally managed to find his voice again when he felt Buffy yawn. 

 

“You’re welcome Childe.  Now, let’s get you in bed.” Buffy’s arms tightened around him.

“I can’t go to sleep Spike.”  He was about to answer her when he realized that as exhausted as she was, Buffy was terrified of the nightmares sleep would bring.  Knowing he was in for a sleepless day, he got to his feet, still holding Buffy in his arms.

 

“Come on Slayer, you need sleep, and I need to lay down.  I’ll stay with you.”

 

A sigh of relief escaped Buffy.  She wouldn’t have to ask Spike to stay with her and she wouldn’t have to be alone.  Somehow, she had no doubt that he would protect her should anything happen.  Hell, he had been doing it before last night anyway, and she didn’t need his reminder that he hadn’t left Drusilla until his Sire had pushed him away.  Buffy knew that he was taking his position as her Sire seriously and that she could count on him. 

 

Spike dropped down to the lower level of the crypt, and headed toward the bed.  He gently lowered Buffy down, and discarded his duster before removing his t-shirt.  He hesitated a few seconds before Buffy spoke up

 

“Will you hold me?”  Silently, Spike lifted the blankets and once he was settled on the bed, opened his arms.  Buffy instantly scooted closer to him, her head settling on the curve of his shoulder and threw her leg over one of his.