a/n As you can see, I'm making up for lost time. Truth is, this has been written a while ago but I'm not happy with it. I thought I should wait to actually BE happy before posting but that ain't gonna happen. So here it is, second to last chapter. Hope you enjoy. As usual, please don't sue.


Somehow, she could feel that the sun had gone down a few hours ago.  The presence inside of her that had been quiet earlier was now chomping, requesting something Buffy couldn’t identified.  Instead of trying to put a name on the urge, she decided that she’d better focus on more pressing matter. 

Namely the vampire who was holding her. 

Her sleep had surprisingly been peaceful, something she was pretty sure she could thank Spike for.  She’d been so sure nightmares would prevent her from any sleep that she had been reluctant to even lay down.  But Spike’s presence had kept the dreams away and she felt more rested than she had thought possible.  Somehow knowing he was still deeply asleep, she raised her head and looked at the vampire who was now her Sire.  She’d known for a while now that he was gorgeous,   but had never really taken the time to observe him.  The vampire that was usually always moving was now completely still, his chest moving in an occasional breath.  She swept her eyes over him, taking in the defined cheekbones, dark and expressive eyebrows and the mouth that so often got him in trouble.  She didn’t need to look at his well defined chest, or muscular arms to know that the rest of him was as spectacular as his face.  She’d felt him often enough in combat.  If she was honest, she’d had more than one dream starring the blond menace.  But the one thing that held her fascination was the well of feelings that his face held, even in slumber.  Even in his sleep, Spike was more alive than anyone she knew. 

She’d seen something in his eyes today.  Something that was more than concern, more than the protective feelings Spike undoubtedly had for his new Childe.  It was something that she had seen increasingly often and that she had forced herself to deny.  Until she’d been laying on the cemetery ground, her life slowing draining away.  She remembered that the one thought that had dominated was him.  How crushed he would be if she died.   She remembered clearly crying out for him, remembered granting him permission to turn her and the pain that had been so present in his eyes.  He hadn’t realized it but Spike had been in game face the whole time and the golden eyes of his demon had been stricken and as expressive as his blue eyes always were. 

Spike had feelings for her.  She wasn’t sure how deep they were, but they were real and, finally leaving Egypt behind, Buffy acknowledged that her own feelings were far from hatred.  When had her feelings stopped being hatred to become something softer, Buffy didn’t know, but somewhere along the way, she’d started trusting him.  She had no doubt that his promise to stay with her went beyond the Sire/Childe thing, and that the bond that had been forged through years of battle, either as enemies or as reluctant allies was now an unbreakable one, one that would sustain them through anything that would come at them.

In a rare moment of clarity, Buffy realized that she was halfway in love with Spike.  That she desperately wanted to have a shot at a relationship with him, one that went beyond the Sire/Childe one.  But just as she realized that she was willing to see if they could do something between them, Buffy realized the obstacles that could prevent them from it.

The Scoobies.

She’d been afraid to see how Giles would react to her new state and she had to admit that she was relieved when he had shown acceptance.  She wasn’t so sure how the others would react.  Spike had told her that her mother and sister knew and that her mother was okay with everything.  In a sudden burst of intuition, Buffy knew that Dawn’s issue was more the fear of Buffy’s reaction than a genuine objection.  She knew that her sister loved Spike, and she suspected that Dawn was afraid oh how Buffy would treat him.  Well, if I have my say, everything will be just fine.   But Xander and Willow presented a real problem, especially Xander. 

Willow would probable accept them in the end, but Xander?  He was the real unknown.  His feelings for Spike were no secrets and even thought they had reached a certain level of companionship, Buffy was afraid her friend wouldn’t be able to deal.  Xander would have problem with Spike turning her and even if the result was not exactly the one she had expected, the end result was the same.  Technically, Spike had killed her.  The fact that she had granted him permission or that he had only finished the job and was no where near responsible for what had happen would mean nothing to Xander.  No, her friend would go absolutely berserk and she had to make sure Spike didn’t bore the brunt of the reactions.  This had been her decision, and she was standing by it.  She knew without the shadow of a doubt that had she not agreed, Spike never would have bitten her.  Now, it was time for her to face the consequences of her decision.  The fact that she was not ready to see them never entered her mind.  Her protective feelings about her Sire were in overdrive and she wouldn’t let anything hurt him.

With that thought in mind, Buffy got to her feet and walked toward the opened drawer that obviously contained Spike’s clothing.  She rummaged around until she found a pair of sweats that had a drawstring at the waist.  They were a bit long but she couldn’t afford to be difficult.  She took Dawn’s hairbrush and quickly tied her hair back.  She bypassed the mirror, not willing to see the changes in her appearance.  Turning back to the sleeping vampire she stood there, trying to decide if she should wake him up. 

Finally spotting a piece of paper and a pen on the bedside table, she quickly jotted down a few words and leaving the notes where Spike could see it when he opened his eyes, she climbed the ladder and exited the crypt.  Time to face the music.

The walk to the Magic Box was a short one, made quicker by Buffy’s enhanced speed.  Too soon for her taste, she was standing in front of the shop’s door.  She really didn’t want to go in there.