“You know quite well, deep within you, that there is only a single magic, a single power, a single salvation...and that is called loving.” – Hermann Hesse

“I choose to suffer for those I care; I will sacrifice myself as long as you are there.” – Amy Kleer

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Falling.

Falling.

Falling.

His eyes scanned along the makeshift tower looking for something to grasp onto and break his fall. The ground was closing in fast, too fast, and he prepared to have his bones crushed under the impact…

There!

With a slight shift of his body, his hand just managed to reach the protruding pole and grip it tight, nearly pulling his arm out of the socket as his descent came to an abrupt halt. Grunting under his breath, he ignored the pain in both his arm and back, swinging back and forth on the pole until his momentum was enough to launch himself back onto the steps that lead towards where Dawn was tied to a post like the proverbial sacrificial lamb.

His duster flared behind him as he vaulted the steps. Pain receded. Only Dawn mattered. Getting back to her. Saving her. Preventing her from being gutted by the demon that had gotten the best of him. He was almost to the top when the ball of energy formed and he knew he’d been too late. He’d failed her. His Niblet had been hurt because he’d been too cocky, too sure in his success in beating Doc.

The demon would die. He’d sealed his fate the moment he touched his ‘Niblet. Just then, Doc sailed past. Copied his headlong fall to the ground below, his tortured screams no comfort in the least. They only increased Spike’s guilt.

Buffy. She’d been the one to do it – just not in time. The portal was open and dimensions were about to collide.

Her voice sounded in his ear as he hurried up the last few remaining steps, soft words as she tried to soothe her distraught sister, prevent the girl from jumping to save the world. To right the wrong her spilled blood had inadvertently caused.

No! She wouldn’t. She couldn’t! He wouldn’t let her…

“…Be brave. Live. For me.”

Spike caught the slayer before she could hurl herself off the end of the platform, his arms banding tight around her as she struggled against him.

“Spike! What are you doing? There’s not much time. Let me go…”

“You think I could watch you do it to save the ‘Bit and the rest of us? Jus’ let you throw yerself o’er the edge?”

“I don’t have a choice. 'Death is my gift.' She told me so. This is something that I have to do. You have to let me go, Spike.”

“No!”

“It needs blood. Hers, mine…it doesn’t matter…” Buffy started struggling against him, desperate to see the world righted, her destiny fulfilled. Maybe then she could finally rest. She stilled in his arms, looking up at his face to try and plead with the stubborn vampire to see things her way…to let her do this last act as the slayer. She was surprised to see the ridges and fangs that marred his face.

“Spike…wha?”

He lifted his hand, the caress to her face surprisingly gently, only serving to increase the slayer’s confusion.

The rest of the world slipped away, leaving just the two of them standing near the edge of the platform. Dawn, the ball of energy…everything disappeared as slayer and vampire stared at one another. Time seemed to stand still. His eyes blazed with emotion. Everything he wanted to say, to voice, was there in his eyes for her to see. Love seemed too inadequate a word to place on what he felt for her. She was his everything. And he refused to allow her to kill herself to save them.

“I’m sorry, Buffy,” he told her. Finally spoke to break the silence that had seemed to settle around them. Her real name sounded strange on his lips. Using it to convey to her his regard. Now wasn’t the time for all the pet names he’d called the slayer. He was laying it out for her, heart in his eyes, telling her in no uncertain terms how he felt. Begging her to understand, if not accept. No apologies, no recriminations. Just a love like nothing he’d ever felt. When he saw that she got it, heard that little gasp that told him she’d finally realized, he spoke. Apologizing to her for everything that he hadn’t done. For what he was about to do.

“Sorry I wasn’t fast enough…strong enough. Sorry that I have to do this.”

He struck before she could realize his intent. Fisted his fingers in her hair and attacked her neck, his bite surprisingly tender considering…

The chip fired, bolts of electricity zinging through his brain and nearly incapacitating him. He ignored it, gulping huge quantities of her blood into his mouth, all the while balancing his desire to see her live with his need to drink enough to close the portal. His knees nearly buckled under the strain of the pounding in his head, but he persevered, determined to see his promise, his sacrifice, through. His pain would be over soon, and he could die in peace, knowing that she’d lived. That they’d both lived. His girls. His promise to his lady kept.

She slumped in his arms, weak from blood loss, and he retracted his fangs from her neck, licking the wounds closed as he mumbled his apologies into her skin.

“Sorry, Buffy. So sorry. Love you…love you so much…”

Easing her lax form down on the metal floor, his hands roamed over her face and hands, verifying that she’d be ok. That he hadn’t taken too much. His fingers tucked a stray lock of blond hair behind her ear, wanting nothing more than to kiss her lips as a last goodbye. But he didn’t. He’d violated her enough. He couldn’t – wouldn’t – commit that last atrocity. Besides, a kiss not freely given by her wasn’t something that he wanted.

The outside world intruded then. Dawn rushing up and falling to her knees beside the slayer’s head. The dragon flying near the tower, its flapping wings producing gusts of wind that rushed through their hair. Bolts of lightning zinging out from the energy mass that continued to increase in size, even as Spike had sipped of the slayer’s blood.

“What did you do, Spike! I trusted you! How could you kill her?” Dawn wailed at him as she cradled her sister’s head in her lap. Blue eyes accusing his own.

“Niblet…’m sorry. I had to,” he mumbled, unable to bear her censure. It killed him to see her look at him like that. Like he was so far beneath her. Like he’d betrayed her trust. His head lowered in shame, taking in the pale form of the slayer one final time.

Spike turned away, resolve in his spine as he rose unsteadily to his feet, the lingering effects of the chip not quite overcome by the enhanced properties of the slayer blood coursing in his veins. He walked off, towards the edge, not bothering to look back to see the condemnation in his ‘Bit’s eyes before she glanced back down at her sister. Just threw himself over the edge and into the huge ball of energy.

He felt like he was being bathed in sunlight, only he wasn’t burning. His body danced along an invisible wave, his mouth open in shock as the energy seemed to consume him. Invading his body to seek out that which would end the cycle, close the portal and restore the world once more. His blue eyes stared unseeing, until it became too much and his eyes drifted closed.

Spike’s last thought was of her.

Buffy.

*****************

She came to feeling something wet splatter at odd intervals upon her face. Groggy, her mind momentarily forgetting why, she struggled to sit up. Immediately, she was enveloped by her sister’s arms, mournful sobs turning to cries of elation at her sister being alive.

“Buffy!” Dawn gasped. “You’re ok.”

“I’m fine…”

Before she could get out the “what happened,” it hit her. Her hand went to her neck, fingering the twin pinpricks. Memories rewound and were replayed in her mind as she pushed herself to her feet, swaying slightly before her sister provided her steadying grip.

Spike.

He’d bitten her. Drank her blood. The look of love and regret in his eyes. Oh god! She glanced around, noticing the oddly peaceful morning. As if not moments before hell had come to play on Earth. He’d done it. Gave up his life and closed the portal. For her. For them.

She broke away from her sister, a burst of speed coming from somewhere – she knew not where – as she raced down the numerous steps to the ground floor. She paused atop the last set of steps, her eyes scanning the ground in search of him…

…but came up empty.

There was nothing there. No trace of the black-clad vampire that had been a menace for so long, only to later become a reluctant ally. The peroxide pest that had kept the promise he’d given her was no more. No hint of leather was found as her eyes swept over every available space. Refusing to give up, she jumped down the last flight of stairs and began a frantic search for him.

When it hit her, when the reality of his complete disappearance made itself know, Buffy collapsed to the ground in a heap. Her legs giving way as the short burst of adrenaline left her body. She didn’t cry. Couldn’t cry. The moment she’d shared with him before he’d bitten her was something she wanted to hold tight.

Buffy felt them come close then. The Scoobies. Her watcher. All thought she was grieving for Dawn. Her sister. As Dawn finally made it down the last few steps, their grief-stricken features changed to ones of confusion. If it wasn’t Dawn that had closed the portal, who had…

“Spike,” she whispered to their silent question. “Spike saved me. Save us.”

Their shocked expression only grew as the slayer continued. Telling them how he’d bitten her. Drank her blood. Then calmly jumped to undo what Dawn’s blood had started.

“I knew he couldn’t be trusted,” Xander yelled, his mind so set in hating the blond vampire, he couldn’t see that he’d done it to help, not hurt, the slayer. “He was just biding his time. You could have been killed!”

Seething hatred stole through her body. Yes, Spike had hurt her in the past. Pre-chip Spike had been the Big Bad at his finest. But, he’d changed. Only no one had noticed. Not even her. She was just as shocked as the others had been when he’d done it. Sacrificing himself to save them all. Oh, she knew he’d done it for her and Dawnie. Everyone else that happened to benefit was just a bonus. A freebee. Like a gift with purchase. He’d had no love for the Scoobies or the rest of the world, but if it meant saving the slayer and his “’Bit,” then he was the vamp for the job.

And, she wouldn’t let anyone desecrate the memory of his final sacrifice.

“Shut up, Xander,” she ground out from her position on the floor. She slowly rose to her feet, ignoring her weakness, slayer mode in full effect as she confronted her biased friend. “I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth regarding Spike. He died saving our lives. Yeah, he took some of my blood. Big deal. Better him than me, wouldn’t you say? Because he stopped me from jumping. Me! So, I don’t want to hear another comment about how evil he was, how manipulative…because, in the end, he kept his promise to me.”

She turned then, her harsh mask encompassing the rest of their ragtag group as she spoke.

“Now, I’m going home. It’s been a long night, and I need some rest before I have to deal with the next thing the Hellmouth decides to throw at me.”

Buffy nearly collapsed with exhaustion, but was caught by her watcher. Giles slipped his charge’s arm around his shoulder, holding it with one hand as the other wrapped around her waist and pulled her close, walking slowly out of the construction area.

Dawn hurried across the space and walked behind them. The younger girl’s guilt ate at her; she’d been so cruel, so unforgiving and judgmental as she’d railed at the one person who had been her friend. She’d been so intent on her sister, she’d never seen him get up and jump into the energy ball. Hadn’t known what had happened to Spike until her sister had said something just now. A regret that she would have to live with for the rest of her life.

Giles helped the slayer as she limped her way back home, but his mind was a million miles away. Spike had done it. Had forsaken his demon and sacrificed himself for the good of humanity. It was definitely something worthy of reflection in his Watcher’s diary. A vampire, soulless but for the government chip in his head, had done something so extraordinary as to cause him to rethink the rigid teachings of the Council.

Xander stared after the retreating threesome, Anya held tight in his arms. Years of history and built up prejudice were too firmly entrenched to be done away with one act, no matter how big it had been. Rather than express his opinions, he kept his mouth shut and started for his own house.

Tara was too confused from her recent trauma to focus on what Buffy was saying. The last thing she really remembered with some clarity was attending the festival in the park. Everything else was just a blur. She tried to concentrate on what Willow was saying. Something about going home, getting some rest. It sounded like a good idea, she was tired but she wasn’t quite sure why. Maybe after a day’s rest she’d learn what had happened. Tara allowed herself to be pulled away, the huge tower left behind; it’s sudden appearance no doubt to be explained away by the local government.

***************

Spike woke for a moment, but didn’t open his eyes. His body ached, having been subjected to a torture far worse than Angelus could ever dish out. The cool ground beneath his cheek beckoned a return to a healing slumber. Vamp senses stretched outward, sensing no danger, and he allowed himself to slip back into unconsciousness.