Well, I knew this would creep into the season six episode discussion threads, and to save them from being hijacked, since Buffy's behavior will inevitably come into question (a lot sooner than I expected, by the way.  Thought we could at least get through "Tabula Rasa" ), I just wanted to create a thread for that discussion/debate.

Here are my thoughts...

The fact of the matter is, her attitude was not consistent (as kim mentions), nor did it make any sense whatsoever.  Excluding the fact that she only went to Heaven and not Hell (which again was a reprieve--an incorporeal vacation if you will from the real world), if she was going to be a bitch to anyone, shouldn't it have been the people who took her from there in the first place?  Or if she was going to ignore anyone, shouldn't it have been her friends who were responsible for making her so incredibly unhappy?  Not Spike or Dawn--why were they being punished when they had absolutely nothing to do with it, and their only concern was to make her happy? 

Back to her not being consistent, I'm aware that the only person she could physically abuse is Spike, being a vampire and all, but the fact remains that physically, they are all inferior to (weaker than) Buffy. 

In "When She Was Bad," when she had issued or she was depressed--however you want to put it--she was bad to friggin' everyone--no one was singled out for any reason.  And if she was so sad at being back, why not just go and kill herself already and be done with it?  Get into a tussle with a demon and lose on purpose?  Maybe that sounds harsh, but I think it's a valid question.  Someone that down would more than likely try to end it all, and not do the other things she was doing.

Someone said that she was brought back to all of her problems that she had to deal with pre-death. That's not completely true--Glory was dead and gone, Dawn's life was no longer in danger...Her biggest hurdle was getting the bills paid, which could have been simply handled, or handled more easily had she A, had Willow help pay for it, since she was living/eating/using hot water and electricity there, or B sold the house, and downsized to something more affordable. 

Also, she could have gone to some kind of therapy for her extreme case of the blahs.  Not just Buffy, but no one even mentions her maybe talking to a professional?  Especially when they thought she was in Hell.  And therapy isn't a foreign concept to them either--she saw that counselor in season 3 until he was viciously murdered by that whacked out high schooler.  What was the grand Scooby plan again?  Movie night?  Book club?  Great going, team.  Not that they even bothered to follow through with those simple plans either.  Her friends, Willow, Xander, Anya and Tara, had this sheme to bring her back, and no plans on how to help her cope with not only being back, but her current status (bills, house, etc.).  And then soon after she's back, they're too busy to notice.  There's cause for resentment, but again, the same four faces in that department keep popping up.

Oh yes, there are folks to blame, but it's not Dawn, Spike, or hey, even Giles.  Yes, Giles too (even though he wasn't there for her wrath or indifference).  He's not responsible for all that happened.  Yes, he left, but that's only because he believed that Buffy would be stronger--get stronger on her own two feet as opposed to using him as a crutch to handle things--punishing or not punishing Dawn, checks... (side note:  When Buffy got back, she should have had Giles help her take Hank's ass to court to demand that he pay child support, but that's just me).  Sure Giles was dead wrong, but the intentions were good.  Maybe he could have helped with a financial plan before he left.

Scarlet - many fine points.  I thought about the different possibilities the writers had at the beginning of the season:

1.  Buffy stays dead and another character becomes the MC.  Maybe Willow, maybe Faith.  Of course you'd have a problem calling it Buffy the Vampire Slayer if someone else is the hero.
2.  Buffy gets brought back from Hell - okay, still depressed and Angel already did it.
3.  Buffy gets brought back from Heaven - Buffy is depressed and she will have to work her way through it, or the audience will feel cheated. 
4.  Buffy's evil twin gets brought back or some other kind of substitute, or Buffybot becomes human, maybe.  These are all kind of goofy, but I guess some good writers could pull it off.

It seems that that having Buffy come back from Heaven is the best of possibilities (assuming that Joss couldn't figure out something more clever, but since he didn't, I guess he thought this was the best scenario, too.)

Taking out her bad moody on Spike and Dawn - up until OMWF, Buffy is pretending that she is happy to all the people that messed her up, so that prevents her from taking it out on the right people.  After that point, she should let loose on Willow especially, but probably can't do it then either because Willow and Tara have been taking care of Dawn for these many months and still are helping out.  Buffy is boxed in there.  Spike is very aggravating to Buffy because he keeps trying to prod her into accepting her dark side, which she is not ready to do.  Not that that's an excuse.  Maybe she's testing him to see if he really means what he says about loving her and that no matter how awful she is, he won't leave.  Dawn is constantly reminding Buffy (innocently) what a lousy substitute mom she is, which is no doubt annoying. 

Giles - I'd like to slap him to sleep.  Buffy is in deep trouble and he abandons her.  The fact that Buffy is responsible for Dawn, a defenseless minor, was plenty enough reason for him to stay.  If Buffy is leaning on him too much, then he needs to help her learn how to take care of her problems.  And, tracking down Deadbeat Dad Hank would be a dandy start.

Finances - Buffy should do both - sell the house (she can't possibly afford it on a minimum wage job) and tell Willow and Tara that they have to help pay.  Here's another place that Giles could help out.  He could certainly take Willow and Tara aside and tell them to start paying and he could help Buffy find an apartment and sell the house.  No matter what Giles says, Joyce did not teach Buffy Everything she needed to know about life.  Also, Dawn could get a job, babysitting or something.

Counseling - Buffy might be shy about talking to a counselor after what happened to the last one, but even if she wasn't, imagine the scenario - yes, I wander around town all night killing vampires and I was dead and my friends brought me back with a spell and blah blah blah.  As we learn later in the season, she's already been slapped in a mental institution for this kind of talk.  So, unless the Council has somebody (and why not?) Buffy has to go it alone.

if she was going to be a bitch to anyone, shouldn't it have been the people who took her from there in the first place?
That's not how Buffy operates. She doesn't show her true feelings, and she puts on a brave happy face whenever possible. She can't be a bitch to her friends, because then they'd know that something was wrong. Even after they know that she was in heaven (which she only told them against her will - she never would've revealed that if she didn't have to sing what she was feeling), she still doesn't want to show that she's upset or depressed or having trouble adjusting, because she always wants to seem like A-okay Buffy.

I don't think she was intentionally taking anything out on Dawn. She couldn't seem to find the effort to pay attention to anyone in her life (she didn't notice Xander and Anya's problems or Willow's magic abuse before both things blew up in her face), but since everyone else is equally absorbed with their own issues, Dawn is the only one who really feels the abandonment.

The only one she revealed everything to was Spike. I'm not sure why - maybe she trusted him more than she admitted, or maybe she just didn't care what he thought of her - but he is the only one allowed to see her emotional breakdown. He is the only one allowed to know the truth. Thus, he's the only one she can act out with, because he's the only one who won't ask questions or try to get her help. He just lets her be angry or depressed or whatever she wants to be with him.

A lot has changed since "When She Was Bad." Buffy is a very different person, and she has a very different idea of how people ought to see her. Back in season two, she was much more open about her emotions - her bitchy attitude was basically shouting "I'm not okay" to anyone who would listen. In season six, she's doing her best to keep that to herself, to make sure everyone thinks she is okay, except for Spike.

And if she was so sad at being back, why not just go and kill herself already and be done with it?
Well... she almost does, in "Once More With Feeling." She very nearly danced herself to death, until Spike stopped her. But the thing is, I don't think Buffy can really do that - I don't think she can willingly go out and let herself be killed by a demon. She still feels an obligation to her calling; even if she's only going through the motions, she's still going to do it. Now that she's back, she's had that burden placed squarely on her shoulders again, and no matter how much it's crushing her, she can't just let it fall, even though the temptation to do so is probably greater now than ever, now that she's experienced a brief respite.

Spikez_tart, options 1 and 4 were never going to happen. Joss has said that he knew they would be bringing Buffy back - and it would really be Buffy, not a twin or the Buffybot or something. Season six was always going to be about Buffy's resurrection and how she copes after that. I suppose they could have had her in hell, but like you said, they'd already done that with Angel.

options 1 and 4 were never going to happen. - Exactly, they were impossible options, (although I've seen the No 4 trick pulled on the soaps more or less successfully).  I was just thinking from a writer's point of view - what were all the possibilities given the situation at the end of S5 if the show was going to continue.  Having Buffy come back from heaven is the only one possible.  We can't believe that someone who saved the world so many times would go to hell.  (Angel going to hell is perfectly plausible.)  She could have gone to some non-heaven dimension but where would the excitement be in that? - Hi Guys, I was in the Boca Raton dimension and drank a lot of singapore slings and now I'm back with a fabulous tan.  Doesn't work.

Coming back from heaven follows one version of the Joseph Campbell myth script - the hero returns from the mysterious woods and the return does not turn out happily.

As unpleasant as S6 is sometimes in terms of being in a very dark place for Buffy (and every one else), I think it was good that Joss didn't just have Buffy pop up 2 episodes later and say oh, I'm all fine now.  That would have been a real cheat for the viewers. 

Well... she almost does, in "Once More With Feeling." She very nearly danced herself to death, until Spike stopped her. But the thing is, I don't think Buffy can really do that - I don't think she can willingly go out and let herself be killed by a demon.
But she was going to in OMWF.  She didn't find success, but there's no reason to not try again.  She was willing to either go to Hell to be a demon bride, or dance herself to death.  So she did have it in her.

As unpleasant as S6 is sometimes in terms of being in a very dark place for Buffy (and every one else), I think it was good that Joss didn't just have Buffy pop up 2 episodes later and say oh, I'm all fine now. That would have been a real cheat for the viewers.
I agree.  But the route they did take still didn't fully make sense.  And besides, if they did have her just be fine, and leave the rest of season six as it was, well...it wouldn't be the first (or last time) they did something that was full of plot holes.  At least that way, it would have been more pleasant to watch.

Buffy might be shy about talking to a counselor after what happened to the last one, but even if she wasn't, imagine the scenario - yes, I wander around town all night killing vampires and I was dead and my friends brought me back with a spell and blah blah blah. As we learn later in the season, she's already been slapped in a mental institution for this kind of talk. So, unless the Council has somebody (and why not?) Buffy has to go it alone.
That's not completely true--she wasn't 100% honest with that first counselor about her situation Angel, but she was still able to get the story out.  She could put a normal version spin on her current situation--wouldn't be too hard.

The only one she revealed everything to was Spike. I'm not sure why - maybe she trusted him more than she admitted, or maybe she just didn't care what he thought of her - but he is the only one allowed to see her emotional breakdown. He is the only one allowed to know the truth.
I think it was the latter.  In "Afterlife," she tells him that she could be "alone" with him there.  I interpret that as in he didn't count--he wasn't "real."  Spike did as well.

Whisper in a dead man's ear,
It doesn't make it real.

I don't think she was intentionally taking anything out on Dawn. She couldn't seem to find the effort to pay attention to anyone in her life (she didn't notice Xander and Anya's problems or Willow's magic abuse before both things blew up in her face), but since everyone else is equally absorbed with their own issues, Dawn is the only one who really feels the abandonment.
Yeah, but Dawn should surpass the importance of the others (and sex), considering her situation.  She's her sister, who's a minor, without a mother or father.  It wouldn't have taken much effort to take her to a movie or out for ice cream, like we've seen Tara do.  Or a movie night at home...nothing fancy. 

We can't believe that someone who saved the world so many times would go to hell. (Angel going to hell is perfectly plausible.)
Well, that all depends on whether you're going to hell because you "deserve" it or because of an incident with a portal. I mean, Angel going to hell was a direct result of his opening Acathla, therefore he had to close it. It's not like he went to hell because he'd been an evil vampire and had to be punished for all his sins. I think that's the perspective Willow and the others took in relation to Buffy. You're right, it could've been the Boca Raton dimension, or the world without shrimp, or any other dimension, but if it had been a hell dimension, it wouldn't be because Buffy deserved it, it would be because that's just where she happened to end up. That's why they were so determined to get her back - because she didn't deserve to be stuck in a hell dimension.

But she was going to in OMWF. She didn't find success, but there's no reason to not try again. She was willing to either go to Hell to be a demon bride, or dance herself to death. So she did have it in her.
She was willing to go to hell in Dawn's place - we've already seen her sacrifice herself for Dawn once, so it's not too surprising that she'd do it again. And the dancing herself to death I think is a special case because of Sweet. Just like the way they sing things they've been keeping hidden, but would never say in real life, Buffy's being forced to express feelings she'd rather keep inside, feelings she would never act on otherwise. Without the spell compelling her, I don't think she would actively commit suicide, or even consciously give up and let a demon kill her.

Also, it's probably worth noting that Buffy may not have had a choice in dancing herself to death. The first guy we saw combust wasn't necessarily suicidal - as far as we know, he just couldn't stop dancing. (In fact, if that were the case, that only suicidal people danced themselves to death under Sweet's spell, that would bring a whole new perspective to the "is Xander responsible for killing the people who combusted" issue.)

I think it was the latter. In "Afterlife," she tells him that she could be "alone" with him there. I interpret that as in he didn't count--he wasn't "real." Spike did as well. Whisper in a dead man's ear, It doesn't make it real.

I loved how they used this line to connected OMWF and Season Six - actually their entire relationship from her reality.   Both lines, with their simplicity and brutal truth, are heart breaking - the same style is used, again with brutal force in her it's real for you line.

I am one of those "I Loved Season Six" viewers - of all the series, it is this season that I remember most - plus "Beneath You" - Buffy and Spike in their self-created tragic hell on earth - have to add Passions and Giles and Jenny's  death set as another of my favorite episodes.   With Buffy's already started emotional meltdown and her history with Angel/Angelus plus being brought back into her life from her place of rest - Season Six, I think was what the series needed.

She could put a normal version spin on her current situation--wouldn't be too hard. - And, lying to your therapist works out so well.  Eventually, she'd have to tell some semblance of the truth, I think, and she'd be on her way to the mental institution with a big bottle full of Thorazine. Still, she could have used a therapist and she eventually gets one in S7.  No one except Spike is looking out for Buffy at all, which is very sad.  I don't see him recommending a shrink.

She didn't find success, but there's no reason to not try again.  She was willing to either go to Hell to be a demon bride, or dance herself to death.  So she did have it in her. - She managed to keep it together while wearing that barfy green bridesmaid's dress.  A true testiment to strength of character in the face of adversity.

depends on whether you're going to hell because you "deserve" it or because of an incident with a portal. - You're right, but I hate the idea of a coincidental hell dimension.  There's something very fitting about Angel going to hell after his spree as Angelus and nothing at all fitting about the same thing happening to Buffy.  Her sins are petty in comparison.

The Angel going to hell brings up the idea that just because you're sorry (as Angel would certainly be once he realizes what Angelus has done - there's a suggestion that he doesn't know when he tells Buffy it feels like a long time since he's seen her) doesn't mean that you escape the punishment.  Spike gets a similar deal in A5 when he's flashing in and out of hell.  He's sacrificed himself to save the world, but he still ends up in hell.  That is brutal.

There's something very fitting about Angel going to hell after his spree as Angelus and nothing at all fitting about the same thing happening to Buffy. Her sins are petty in comparison. The Angel going to hell brings up the idea that just because you're sorry (as Angel would certainly be once he realizes what Angelus has done - there's a suggestion that he doesn't know when he tells Buffy it feels like a long time since he's seen her) doesn't mean that you escape the punishment. Spike gets a similar deal in A5 when he's flashing in and out of hell. He's sacrificed himself to save the world, but he still ends up in hell. That is brutal.
But his "sins" had no bearing on him going to a hell dimension for a hundred years.  It was purely circumstantial to a portal being opened.  Also, Spike wasn't really flashing in and out of hell--that was Pavayne playing tricks with him.

Also, it's probably worth noting that Buffy may not have had a choice in dancing herself to death. The first guy we saw combust wasn't necessarily suicidal - as far as we know, he just couldn't stop dancing.
This is true.  Though this thread is not about OMWF, I find it interesting none of her friends bother to try and stop her.  Maybe Buffy doesn't have it in her to end it all--a death wish, though she does long to die.  Either way, I still don't find her actions to be consistent.

Still, she could have used a therapist and she eventually gets one in S7.
Ha, maybe she shouldn't have staked Holden. He could've been very helpful!

There's something very fitting about Angel going to hell after his spree as Angelus and nothing at all fitting about the same thing happening to Buffy.
I disagree. I think it would have been fitting if Angelus had gone to hell after his spree. But with Angel regaining his soul right before he gets sent to hell, it's really just a huge dose of irony. I'm sure while he was there wallowing in guilt, he probably thought it was fitting punishment, but really, Angel didn't deserve it.

there's a suggestion that he doesn't know when he tells Buffy it feels like a long time since he's seen her
He doesn't remember. The first time he gets his soul (in the flashback), the gypsy dude acknowledges that it takes a minute or two for the memories to come back, so presumably that happens every time his soul gets restored.

Maybe Buffy doesn't have it in her to end it all--a death wish, though she does long to die. Either way, I still don't find her actions to be consistent.
I could see her going either way - I've written fic where she considers letting a vampire end it all for her, and I think it'd be a valid reaction to her situation, but since we don't see her do that on the show, I have to believe there's a reason she's hanging on. Her feeling the need to stay alive out of obligation to her slayer duty makes enough sense to me that it doesn't seem inconsistent. She's already died for her duty, and sacrificed over and over, so she could live in a hellish world for it, too, no matter how much she hates it.

I think if you consider what S6 is all about - grief - she is totally in character because when you're grieving you are completely out of character.

You can put each season of Buffy to a different stage in a young adults' life, and grief can be a huge part of that.
I think the point is, she's grieving the loss of heaven, the loss of her mother (still) and the loss of her innocence - you may think that that's long gone, but think again. This season is the first time she's had to truly stand on her own two feet, and at the hardest possible point in her life.

She can't tell/take out anything on her 'friends' because they wouldn't understand, and because she believes that their expectations of her are astrnomical - and they are.
Buffy ignores Dawn (not deliberately!) because she doesn't want the responsibility. Who would? 20/21 and a mother to a teenager? You're not made to cope with that, and motherhood isn't something Buffy ever really considered possible.

Also, as in S5 Dawn is a living reminder of what Buffy could/can never have - the chance for (vague) normalcy.

And finally, beating on Spike - she respects him as a fighter but doesn't want to have a dark side. Throughout their S6 relationship he is trying to convince her she has darkness in her. Remember how well that went with Dracula? I know the two don't compare as love interests, but she's just been taken from heaven, and he's making her feel like she didn't deserve it. They are both at fault.

I think if you consider what S6 is all about - grief - she is totally in character because when you're grieving you are completely out of character. And finally, beating on Spike - she respects him as a fighter but doesn't want to have a dark side. Throughout their S6 relationship he is trying to convince her she has darkness in her. Remember how well that went with Dracula? I know the two don't compare as love interests, but she's just been taken from heaven, and he's making her feel like she didn't deserve it. They are both at fault.

Not talking about the grief.  The inconsistency comes into play with the beating on Spike.  Spike made one off handed comment in "Life Serial" initially--a comment in which he wasn't totally wrong.  In fact, it's nothing she hasn't heard before (e.g. Faith.  There's a line, and Faith definitely crossed it in more ways than one, but Buffy didn't deny that there was a certain something to being a slayer.  Being a creature of darkness is different than being evil or dirty, so it's not like Spike was saying she was undeserving of anything that was good.  In fact, if that's how Buffy thought he meant it, she wouldn't have been so compliant or stayed in his company that evening).  Either way, that isn't when she becomes violent with him.  Her treatment of him begins to decline as their relationship progresses, and that is what doesn't make sense.  Maybe that had nothing to do with her depression all together, because that is what doesn't fit.   

I have to believe there's a reason she's hanging on.
Well, come to think of it, she does want to be alive.  She's just noticing that she doesn't have the same drive as she used to.  She doesn't want to "go through the motions," but she can't seem to get out of the funk.
I don't want to beeeeee...
Going through the motions
Losing all my drive.
I can't even see
If this is really me
And I just want to be-
(vamp 2 attacks, she stakes him and continues singing) Aliiiiiive.

I don't know. I liked Buffy's depression of Season Six, especially since she just had been pulled out of heaven, but I was more annoyed at the fact that not only did there never seem to be any consequences to what she did (beating up Spike, quitting the Doublemeat Palace job, etc.), but the writers seemed to be yanking us around about her behavior.

At the end of one episode, she'd make a resolution about wanting to live, or wanting to take care of Dawn, and then we'd see nothing really change. Her speech at the end of Grave seemed completely OOC to me, especially since Dark Willow had just pointed out she hated the world just as much as Willow.

So I enjoyed Buffy being depressed, and seeing her work at it, but I just wish they had delved into it more.

(And on a sidenote, just joined. Really liking this community!)

Her treatment of him begins to decline as their relationship progresses, and that is what doesn't make sense. Maybe that had nothing to do with her depression all together, because that is what doesn't fit.
You know, I don't think it has to do with her depression. I think it's a downward spiral that starts with depression but ends with self-loathing. She starts spending time with Spike because she's depressed about heaven, but the more their relationship progresses, the more she's wondering what could be wrong with her that she would rather spend time with a soulless killer than her friends and family. Once he tells her she came back wrong, that's all the excuse she needs - she doesn't have to worry about what she does, because she's not really Buffy. She may not even be fully human, for all she knows. She hates herself for wanting Spike, and she hates that the only time she feels anything is with him. The more she needs him, the more she resents him for it. But she can take out all her hatred on him, because she's wrong and he's not real. Once her excuses disappear, she can't keep doing what she's been doing, and it's only then that she starts to come to terms with who she is and what she feels.

Spike was trying to help her with her depression, but he actually allowed her to ignore her problems by letting her think she came back wrong. If she hadn't had that crutch, I think she would've gotten over her depression a lot quicker, and she'd have been back to normal Buffy without it taking a whole season.

but I was more annoyed at the fact that not only did there never seem to be any consequences to what she did (beating up Spike, quitting the Doublemeat Palace job, etc.), but the writers seemed to be yanking us around about her behavior.
I agree.  The fact that there was no consequences or remorse, made her actions that much more stark and disappointing.

the more she's wondering what could be wrong with her that she would rather spend time with a soulless killer than her friends and family.
Well that's not really a fair description for Spike at that point.  I'll agree that Buffy probably didn't see him as real or whatever, but I don't think that at that point that she viewed him as a "soulless killer" either.  What's sad is that for all intents and purposes, soul or not, he was her friend.

Once her excuses disappear, she can't keep doing what she's been doing, and it's only then that she starts to come to terms with who she is and what she feels.
That's not totally true--she doesn't stop sleeping with Spike until AYW, and that's only because Riley shamed her about it.  Not only that, she still never apologizes about her previous behavior. But then again, that probably circles back to the whole "Spike doesn't count" thing, which of course you know, I think is prejudicial and wrong.

I think after "Dead Things" it was only a matter of time before Buffy called it quits. She's pretty different with him (mostly in a good way) in "Older and Far Away," and if Riley hadn't come back, I think she still would've ended things on her own, just maybe not so suddenly (and probably without blatantly using him before telling him she's using him).

Here is an excellent essay Buffy and her depression and her relationship with Spike and her friends -

essay by Ginmar:  Buffy and the War   posted at Buffy & Spike Diaries

http://www.bsdiaries.com/readSpecs.php?spID=49

Hi Redrobin - glad to have you chatting with us. 

But his "sins" had no bearing on him going to a hell dimension for a hundred years.  It was purely circumstantial to a portal being opened.  Also, Spike wasn't really flashing in and out of hell--that was Pavayne playing tricks with him.  I don't think there can be coincidences or circumstantials in fiction, at least of the Buffy, mythic hero type of fiction.  Real life either, maybe.  Yeah, Angel gets his soul back for a couple of minutes, but right before that he's trying to kill Buffy and destroy the world.  He's been killing and stalking and torturing for weeks.  The punishment is coming down and the fact that Willow slips him a mickey by putting his soul back is painfully ironic but doesn't change - can't change - what's happening.  Since we see from Spike (and the vamp whores that Riley frequents) that a vampire without a soul or even a chip can control himself if he wants to, I don't think we can say that Angelus had no free will.  Spike was having tricks played on him, but his natural pull is down to hell, I think.  The fact that he ultimately escapes being sucked down says something, too.  His extreme sacrifice does count to ameliorating the punishment.  (If you have a good enough DVD, go back and freeze frame on some of those shots where Spike is being sucked into hell.  Gaagh!)

You came back wrong - Why does Buffy insist on believing Spike instead of Tara? It appears that she wants to believe there is something bad about herself.  "There is nothing good or clean about you" she says to Spike, but really means herself.  Actually, I think Buffy did come back wrong.  She's still dead in a certain sense and she may be an earthbound angel  (see scene where she walks by the big angel statue.  I think this happens the first time she goes back to the cemetery after she is revived.)

Holden Webster - another great character bites the dust.  Too bad he didn't escape so Buffy could get the next session.  He was certainly clever enough to outwit her. 

My impression is that Willow anticipated that Buffy would resurrect outside the coffin - not in grave but in the same location - otherwise the would have been prepared by having open up the grave.  They would not have even been able to know if the spell worked, good or bad, had Buffy resurrected inside her coffin - outside of Willow being able to communicate with Buffy telepathically, how would they know that she had come back.  Willow, IMO, would have had researched the  ritual/spell of resurrection and would have had explicit instructions and info on how the human body would return.

While the script does imply that Spike would have tried to hold on to and protect a resurrected Buffy, even if she had come back not entirely the same - I don't believe that Spike or Dawn would have tried keeping Buffy alive if she had been obviously damaged and in great pain or emotional trauma.  It would be just like having a person you love suffering from a horrible disease - while there is great suffering from loss, Spike and Dawn would want to bring peace to Buffy. 

The Spike that counted the days that Buffy was not living loved her enough, to let her die again if she really needed to - same for Dawn and all her friends.  Problem is that mental suffering, and especially with Buffy trying the Play Acting Mode, is so much harder to understand and see while a great physical illness is obvious.  It is extremely common for people to avoid trying to deal or understand mental and emotional illness - mainly because people feel completely helpless.  Which of her friends could really help Buffy, especially if she was trying to control or deny her anger. 

Another very common thing is to attack people who you know will not try to defend themselves or who you can use as object for sublimation.  Spike is the greatest object of sublimated anger/hatred of the entire series - Dawn takes a lot of Buffy's anger but not her hatred.   In "Normal Again" while Buffy in great conflict over Spike - it is her friends that show up in her dream and that she is tempted to kill.  Buffy is one very messed up young woman.

I totally hate how slow this site is - after doing is long new post about all the conversions of Normal Again, Dead Things and As You Were, the "Ate It Monster" came out to play -

Oh Well - if you have not had an opportunity to read Ginmar's essay yet - think you will find it an excellent addition for the discussion -

Ginmar's article was very interesting and sad.  It made me wonder whether a distinction could be made between depression caused by trauma and depression caused by an imbalance of brain chemicals.  Buffy seems to have the trauma version.

It is extremely common for people to avoid trying to deal or understand mental and emotional illness - it's been my experience in dealing with a close family member who was depressed that you just about to have to set fire to them to even get them tl call the doctor and say I'm depressed.  Even if Buffy's friends had ganged up on her in another intervention, it might not have worked.  Tara really lets Buffy down here.  She is the only one outside of Spike who has any inside info.  She should really be the one to put down her foot for Buffy going to counseling.

Tara really lets Buffy down here. She is the only one outside of Spike who has any inside info. She should really be the one to put down her foot for Buffy going to counseling.
Well to be fair to Tara, it's not as if she knew the whole story, or even a fraction of it, really.  All she knew was that Buffy was having sex with Spike, the guy's who's in love with her, and Buffy is confused about why she keeps having sex with Spike.  Tara tells her it's okay, even when Buffy wants her to tell her it's wrong...I mean, what else was she supposed to do with that smidgen of information?  I know they cut to the credits when Buffy is crying on Tara's lap, but I seriously doubt that Buffy went into details.  Maybe Buffy told her when it started, but I doubt Tara had much more to go on other than that.  From Tara's point of view, she probably thought the whole thing was silly (and I don't blame her).  She treats it as an inside joke at Buffy's birthday party. 

All she knew was that Buffy was having sex with Spike  - She knows Buffy is obsessing about being brought back wrong and she knows Buffy is crying her heart out.  Granted, Tara isn't a professional, but Buffy's plainly in a bad way and Tara is supposed to be the super sensitive one who always understands what makes people tick and makes profound remarks about the group dynamics, etc.  

And, how does Tara check out a spell to see if if went right?  In her "assume crash positions" speech, she indicates that everyone, her included, expected the spell to go wrong.  Could this be because Willow's spells frequently do go wrong and everyone knows it?  And, the spell did go wrong.  It brought back a dangerous hitchhiker.  So, if one part went wrong, why not another?  Is Tara lying to Buffy?  Maybe she's lying to cover Willow, who's also lying about the sacrifice of Bambi business and that she didn't know what the hitchhiker ghost said about it? 

I think Tara does take the matter of the spell gone wrong seriously.  Buffy seems to have recovered somewhat by the time of the party and Tara is enjoying giving Spike a little prod when he acts up. 

I think the point is, she's grieving the loss of heaven, the loss of her mother (still) and the loss of her innocence - you may think that that's long gone, but think again. This season is the first time she's had to truly stand on her own two feet, and at the hardest possible point in her life.
She can't tell/take out anything on her 'friends' because they wouldn't understand, and because she believes that their expectations of her are astronomical - and they are.
Buffy ignores Dawn (not deliberately!) because she doesn't want the responsibility. Who would? 20/21 and a mother to a teenager? You're not made to cope with that, and motherhood isn't something Buffy ever really considered possible. 
And finally, beating on Spike - she respects him as a fighter but doesn't want to have a dark side. Throughout their S6 relationship he is trying to convince her she has darkness in her.

Well-read, I think. In Bargaining and Afterlife, although newly-resurrected Buffy had been able to access the slayerness when she needed it and fight physically, she's lost once the danger's over - remember her brush with suicide then before she's really checked into the world again, climbing the tower and returning to the edge from which she jumped, as if she can't understand why it didn't take and is dumbly reasoning that she might get back to where she's been if she jumps again - watch that scene again, it's heart-rendingly eloquent. Dawn, at least, is convinced that Buffy might jump, and prevents her by laying her sibling responsibility back on her, which Buffy reluctantly but inevitably shoulders again - I don't think it's in her design to give up her duty either.

Back at the house, she barely engages as Dawn cleans her up *but* is obviously expectant of some response from her; Buffy's in such need of care and protection, she has little or nothing to give to meet other's needs. The changes in the master bedroom bring viscerally back the fact that her mom is gone and won't be returning, that detail coming right into focus again where it has so far been either forgotten or just a nightmarish background detail of this reality she doesn't yet want to accept her return to. At the same time she learns that Giles is gone too, and it's brought home to her that there isn't anyone here to take care of her, to help her, to take charge. She understands that she's on her own, load firmly back on her shoulders, before she's really even been able to process being back.

This is a harsh, harsh situation to find oneself in, and I think the fact of Spike's appearance just then explains a lot about their relationship during the season. He bursts in shouting, representing attack which starts to freak her out after the return to quietness in the house, only to have Dawn explain and lead her out onto the stairs to see him. When he realises it's her, he has both the words to explain what has happened to her hands and the experience to recognize it as an ordeal but make no big fuss out of it, both of which save her from having to verbalise about a very recent and incredibly traumatic experience before she can really think straight, and moves them straight to the bandaging up instead. Most importantly, he takes charge; she is released, and Spike will take care of her, which is what she so desperately needs. He sends the needy Dawn off for first aid and then just examines her hands, not saying anything until she asks him something she wants to know. His obvious care for her seems not to pressure her, but instead to provide a cushion she can rest on. It doesn't last long, since the Sccobies bust in and he leaves, but if the writers meant it as I've interpreted it, it's a lovely snapshot of the 'Spike-gives-Buffy-strength' theme that winds through the series from S5 on and is named at the end of S7. But she doesn't just need a boost here: she's unable to cope and desperately needs to be supported until she can take her own weight. The friction between them later in this season begins when it becomes clear again that he is not just offering that cushion, that pillar of support but actually has needs he wants met too, wants something from her for himself; that he'll present her with difficult choices and hard to accept views of herself; that in fact he isn't right about lots of stuff and doesn't necessarily know what he's doing all the time. It's no coincidence that she breaks up with him after the stupidity of the demon eggs when she sees him clearly again: as someone that cannot actually rescue her. Because there isn't a man that can rescue her, just like there isn't a man that can rescue any of us. They struggle just like we do, and the best solution is a strong team.

Jeebus, I still *LOVE* this show ;-D

yahatedparis

It's no coincidence that she breaks up with him after the stupidity of the demon eggs when she sees him clearly again: as someone that cannot actually rescue her. Because there isn't a man that can rescue her, just like there isn't a man that can rescue any of us. They struggle just like we do, and the best solution is a strong team. Jeebus, I still *LOVE* this show ;-D yahatedparis

Excellent Post - I will add that this splendid arc and the metaphors used throughout their tragic "would be love, if only it could be" love affair are so beautifully worked out - even from their stair scene when he assumes the "doctor role"  until their heartbreaking end of "As You Were," - Riley brings back in the metaphor conversion in Spike as evil/danger "Doc."  -  Spike's "you can stop calling me that" speaks with such tragic emotions, both for him and this contrasted realities and counter needs that Buffy and Spike are consumed by.  And as heartbreaking and tragic that their relationship becomes, all this destructive energy puts them both back on their journey of resurrection and self-creation.  Even in "Dead Things" their tragic experience when seen through the "heroic mythic formula," Spike taking all the abuse that Buffy will give is part of the trials and rites of passage - his willing taking all sides of Buffy makes him worthy to be her consort. 

For all the "fan wanK" about Anne Rice Vampires, nothing else that I have read in the Vampire realms comes close to the powerful and compelling work that Joss Whedon and his creative staff, plus all the actors brought out  in the series.