Always Wait For You by slaymesoftly

02/20/2012 01:03 am
buff is an idiot. but you probably already new that. well done
That's the general consensus of her in this fic. lol

12/24/2011 06:41 pm
Glad they are back together, but I think he forgave her a little to easily.
He probably did, but seeing how quickly Angel reverted to Angelus gave him a reason to understand why she'd originally been so frightened for the kids. And it's Spike. He loves the way he loves, and forgive accordingly. :)  Thanks for reading.

12/16/2008 08:19 am
Thanks for your kind words.  I've pondered all evening and I can't find a good way to get your premise hammered down.  But it's one of those situations where you really want the premise, because it sets up so much good story.  The scene where the kids say goodbye to their Dad in heaven is one of those memorable moments you read fanfiction for.  The tension on Spike's return is really well-done.  The twist wherein we learn that Xander of all people has kept in touch with Spike is really fantastic.  And the overall feel of the story, where we get a happy ending, but one that still has a sense of bittersweet because those seven years really are lost and aren't going to be reclaimed is great.   There's also the fairly devastating contrast between Spike's reaction to being de-souled and Angel's. So I figure maybe there was just a spell of confusion that randomly landed on Spike, Buffy and Xander and kept them from reaching a better solution, until the return of Angelus magically forced one on them.  (Cause seriously, all three of them are guilty of not thinking overtime about how to avoid depriving the kids of their loving father). 
*runs off to completely rewrite "Always Wait". LOL  It really isn't possible to pin it down. Your objection to the basic premise is totally on, and there's no way to fix that and still have the same story.  Temporary insanity on the part of all concerned is all we can attribute it to, I'm afraid. Only Spike was willing to come back and just be the dad who can't coach soccer anymore. Until Buffy angered him by doubting his feelings towards their children... Buffy was crazy with grief, Xander and Faith were following her lead, apparently; and Willow, for once in her life, wasn't jumping in to claim she could fix it.  They all could have done with a few deep breaths and some more thought.  But, there you go. I wrote what I wrote and I can't take it back.  :) Thanks for all the feedback and discussion.

12/16/2008 02:23 am
I've gotten out of the habit of reading fanfiction for a while, but have spent the past week catching up.  As always, I very much appreciate and enjoy your stories.

There is so much I like about this story -- the drama is so well done.  You really brought the kids to life; and I love that they both participated in their own rescue.  Thanks for offering up a likeable Xander.  And it's a real treat to see Buffy and Faith as friends.

But I have to confess that I find the premise to be flat unbelievable.  I can believe that she'd be suspicious of him. And would work to protect the children from him.  But I find it hard to believe that she'd cut him out of her life -- period -- on a dime.  I also find it hard to believe that he wouldn't have come back when she had a chance to be more reasonable and try to actually reason with her.   Buffy already knows that Spike -- the Spike who loves her -- is not remotely an Angelus type situation.   It's hard to reconcile this plot development with the Buffy who told Spike that she had seen him decide to change (which would be a reference to unsouled Spike's decision to get a soul).  And that brings me to the biggest problem I have with the premise -- which is that you never explain why Spike doesn't go and get his soul back.  You even mention re-ensouling Angelus as a possibility, but it never comes up for Spike.  And given the massive cost to all concerned of having him cut out of his family like that, one would think that all options would have been explored before he was just cast out into the wilderness for seven years, and the children were deprived of a father for seven years (a huge chunk of their childhoods).  It's such a *big*, unrecoverable trauma to all of their lives -- way too much cost for what turns out to be a foolish moment on her part (and really on his, for just accepting her terms).

But like I said, I like the drama and story that you tease out of the premise; and I found the story remarkably interesting despite the fact that I couldn't buy the premise.

Thanks so much for all the effort you put into Spuffy fanfiction! 
Thanks for giving that thoughtful and well-written review.  And, you're absolutely right - it should have occurred to someone that they could just re-ensoul Spike when he rose.  Major, honking plot hole!  *cringes*  Wanna be my beta? lol   I guess I'll just have to plead that it was necessary in order for the plot to happen that it not occur to anyone until it was too late and Buffy had driven him off.  I did try to indicate that she regretted it almost immediately, and that Spike was furious, so that some of the blame for being gone so long would fall to him.  Remember, she did begin to waffle on the being out of her life (dirty little secret, anyone?) and he cut her off immediately.  Emotions were running high, with Buffy going from expecting to be staking a demon wearing Spike's body, and finding out it was the same demon she'd fallen in love with in the first place.  Lots of drama, lots of confusion and two stubborn people...  I don't think Spike would go to get his soul back because he didn't think he needed it.  I'm not a big fan of the "soul is all" concept, so I don't think he needed it to be who he was and neither did he.    I suspect, had I allowed him to hang around a bit longer (apparently he did, but Buffy didn't know it), they might have worked something out - but then I wouldn't have had much of a story. :)  Thanks again for commenting. It was great.

11/26/2008 08:51 am
wonderful story!!!! loved it!
Thank you!

06/18/2008 07:36 am
good complex story
Thank you. :)

12/10/2007 02:20 am
hi have just read your story and i thought it was brillant the best i have read so far and i have read quite a lot keep writing them you are really good. i also write buffy stories but they arnt nearly as good as that. couldnt go to bed till i finished it it is now 3.30am thanks for keeping me up ha ha again brill.
LOL Sorry for the loss of sleep; but thank you for the enthusiastic review!

11/19/2007 06:33 pm
I have only posted one review because I just couldn't put the story down ... It was heart-breaking and heart-warming.

Thank you - as ever I loved your story.
Thank you for reading and commenting. One review is more than enough when it is a wonderful as this one. :)

11/19/2007 10:45 am
Loved this story! Great ending!
Thank you!

11/18/2007 01:16 pm
Thank you so much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

11/17/2007 02:25 am
this tale was a delightful read, thank you.
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you enjoyed it.

11/16/2007 02:43 am
NICE - very much enjoyed this work - I like how Spike deals with the anger directed at Buffy by the children - hope of favorite slayer has finally learned that trust is a two way relationship -
Let's hope so! Thank you so much for reading and reviewing.

11/16/2007 01:06 am
This was really great - original, heartwarming and sooo entertaining. Looking forward to your next fic!
Thank you. I'm so glad you thought so. The next one will go up soon.

11/15/2007 04:19 am
This was a fun way to tie up your ending. Great story!
Thank you. I'm glad you liked it. Was afraid it might be a bit too fluffy for such an angsty fic, but....;)

11/14/2007 11:30 pm
such a lovely story, thanks for sharing!
Thank you for reading and reviewing. :)

11/14/2007 09:52 pm
Nothing like a little proof to both Buffy and Spike that A)other vampires *are* dangerous and B)their significant other prefers them to their previous partner. Sorry about Lucy, but I think the first point had to be made to the kids, too, and someone that had previously been for their protection was the best way to prove that Buffy wasn't just being unreasonable. Well constructed story.
Thank you very much. I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

11/14/2007 05:28 pm
that was AWESOME!!!!!! loved it loved it loved it!

Thank you!
You're welcome. :) Thank you for reading and reviewing.

11/14/2007 04:16 pm
Love it. Every minute of it....could this possibly turn into a series? the life and times of the Pratts?? Omfg that would be awesome!
LOL - I guess it could - if I had that much imagination...
Thanks for reading. I'm glad you liked it. :)

11/14/2007 03:49 pm
great ending. loved the bit about the pancakes! I KNEW that bed in the basement was in for destruction! :)
Great work. Sorry to see it end.
Thank you. And thanks for reading. :)

11/14/2007 03:31 pm
Aaawwww! How sweet! I loved it! :D
Thank you. :)

11/14/2007 03:23 pm
Oh, that was awesome; can't we have an epilogue? Or a sequel? Or just some unjointed ramblings that have nothing to do with the story? Please, please, please??? *Attendent in white coat enters room, and begins to escort whiny reader away* No, wait, the story's not over yet! It's not over!!! I know it's not!!! *Attendent nods apology to author for whiny reader* Mooooreeee stooooorrrryyyyyy!!! *Attendent gives whiny reader a shot* Hee, hee, more story? I like story... hee hee... *Attendent leaves as whiny reader falls asleep* Seriously, wonderful finish, and I loved the quick updates; please start another story soon, so I can keep whining!!!
ROFL - I am so going to miss this! New story will go up starting tomorrow or the next day. Probably...maybe

Mr. Chaos
11/14/2007 03:03 pm
YOur right...while I think you did many...many things right (The limiting Angelus to only a couple chapters was very smart, as most writers tend to overuse him)...I didn't like the ending.

Spike caved, Buffy got off with a slap on the wrist. Now, you've explained your thoughts about that, so I understand where you are coming from...and I am grateful you didn't make Spike a wuss like a couple writers here...but still, you step us all up for Buffy having to grovel...and we got nothing.

Wonderful story, but I felt unfulfilled.
Well, I'm not a big fan of wussy Spike either - in fact, many of my season VI fics involve having him grow a pair and throw Buffy out (temporarily, of course). However, I'm not into Buffy-bashing either. I have a great deal of empathy for the character and the difficult decisions she has had to make in her life. So, perhaps I'm not as inclined to think she needed to grovel in this particular situation. Maybe without the danger to the kids to bring them together...yes, I can see her having to work a bit harder to make up for her initial reaction and its consequences; but I wasn't intentionally setting her up to have to grovel. It didn't seem appropriate for him to insist on it, given the situation and its reminders of how fleeting life can be and how important it is to cling to those you love.

I thank you for reading and for the thoughtful comments, and I'm sorry that it left you feeling unfulfilled. Maybe next time. :)

11/14/2007 02:51 pm
Glad they have a happy ending -- the man's a saint!
He is very forgiving, isn't he. Thanks so much for reading and reviewing. :)

11/17/2007 02:24 am
very good read, thank you. bonus for buffy dusting angel. always a bit sad when it comes to dru dusting.
Thanks. I'm glad you liked it. It is sad to dust Dru, but sometimes it just has to be done...

11/14/2007 11:31 am
What an intense chapter!!
Thanks. I hope you enjoyed it. One more to go.

11/14/2007 01:53 am
Excellent! More soon!
More tomorrow. :)

11/14/2007 01:25 am
Amazing; really amazing; love how Spike's love for the people that really matter to him shines through; loved the scene with Will after Spike dusts Dru (always love it when that happens!); really great writing; can't wait for more!
Thanks. Last chapter goes up tomorrow night. :)

11/14/2007 12:27 am
Fabulous action - and a great result!
Thank you. :)

11/13/2007 11:59 pm
YES!!!!!!!!! Great chapter!!!!! but........i fear the story is close to an end...... so that sucks.....damn!
Thank you. And, yes, it is close to the end. Only one more chapter.

11/13/2007 07:34 pm
I was hoping Buffy and Spike would have a "extended" stay in his hotel room...but I'm glad they got back to the school considering. This is really suspenseful!
LOL - note the rating on this fic - PG13. There aren't going to be any "extended stays" in hotels rooms this time. I'm glad you're finding it suspenseful. I hope you continue to like it. :)

MR. Chaos
11/13/2007 03:09 pm
IT was an ok chapter...but Buffy got off WAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYY to easy. There is an old saying, "If you show a gun in act one, someone better fire it in act three."

YOu showed Buffy for a horrid person...and she got off with a slap on the wrist. She didn't beg, she didn't have to make it up to spike...he just caved like Britney Spears at an all you can drink party.

Yet once again, everything comes down to Angel. Because Angel is crazy without a soul, that gave Buffy lisence to be a bitch. Because Angel wanted to hurthis family, Spike must want to too.

Buffy forgot everything about Spike, treated him like dirt...and didn't even have to say, "Sorry." Just had to demand that Spike answer if he forgave her.

I really hope you have something in mind here...because the gun is on the table, and it has yet to be fired.

On another note, this isn't a plot hole, as Buffy would never do it, but I wish she would: Call out to a vengence demon. We know there is one for scorn children...what about mothers? Call out to the demon, wish that Angelus feel the pain he inflicts on others on himself 100 fold, and listen for the screams of agony.

But, Buffy would never do that to her precious Angel....
Giving a lot of thought to your comments. Did I set her up as a horrid person? She was impulsive and wrong - but I see her as a grief-stricken widow, prepared to do the duty that has been hers for almost twenty years, and then shocked all over again by who wakes up in her husband's body.

Frightened, confused, controlled to some extent by her conditioning and her nature - and terrified for her children - she makes a bad decision (not as bad as staking him would have been; but bad enough) that she begins to regret almost immediately.

I don't consider spending almost seven years alone, as a single mom, missing her husband, knowing it was her choice to send him away and then, once they found out, feeling as though her children hated her for it, as getting off easy. Perhaps I didn't do a good enough job of showing her internal struggle with her guilt and sadness? I will have to think about that and ask myself where I could have made it more clear that she was suffering her own private sadness.

Spike's forgiveness wasn't immediate, nor was it demanded. She simply asked him if he could forgive her - clearly indicating that she was well aware of whose fault the separation was. The fact that Spike is capable of great forgiveness when dealing with those he loves is one of the traits many of us find so appealing in him. He was angry, yes. And he was very wary of his welcome when he first came back. But his love for Buffy and his family allowed him to forgive her for a reaction that he was now seeing in a different light.

Angel had nothing to do with that decision - except in the sense that both he and Spike had drilled into the slayers at the school that newly turned vamps turn on their families - which added to her confusion and fear. I'm not quite sure where you got that from. I don't belabor the Angel/Angelus thing as it isn't relevant until he gets turned himself. Then, he's the same Angelus they would have expected and Buffy is immediately ready to slay him.

And, frankly, I don't see a slayer calling for a vengeance demon to take care of dusting a vamp for her - pain or no pain. It has nothing to do with how she feels about Angelus.

So, I'm afraid the only gun on the table here is the fact that the children are in immediate danger, and dealing with that is more important to Spike and Buffy than worrying about themselves at that moment.

I'll be interested to hear what you think of the rest of the fic - although, I suspect you will not care for the ending.

11/13/2007 06:21 am
Glad to see them starting to work things out. Their missing kids will either cement them together or tear them apart. I'm pulling for cement...
Good call. LOL

11/13/2007 06:06 am
OMG!Oh, no, how did they get them? How?

But on a happy note, yay, Spuffy goodness, lol. Now back to my worrying, how did Angelus get the kids? Oh, wait, or did he. You might just want us to think that, but they might still be in the school...

Can't wait for more.
LOL Update tonight!

11/13/2007 12:45 am
Strength in unity. They're going to need it. The reconciliation was nicely done, believable.
Thank you. I'm glad you thought so.:)

11/13/2007 12:44 am
You are definitely the queen of the cliffhangers; you're killing me here!!! Love the reconciliation b/n B & S; good to see; although I knew S would forgive her; he's always the understanding one, it seems, no matter what!! Please, please update again soon; the suspence is driving me crazy! *Adult comes out of hiding, grabs whiny child by the ear and drags her away, child keeps screaming for more fanfic as she is pulled away* PPPPLLLLEEEAASsssseeeee.....
ROFL - I may have to add more chapters just so I can have more of these funny reviews. :)

11/13/2007 12:03 am
Oh! So Buffy and Spike begin to really thaw towards each other and their kids disappear. The guilt!

I don't think I've read another story remotely like this one. Your idea is very original!
Yep, yep. More guilt! And, thank you. I'm so glad you like it.:)

11/12/2007 11:36 pm
wonderful chapter, can't wait for more soon. Thanks again for the regular updates.
Thanks for reading. Glad you liked it. :)

11/12/2007 10:26 am
Listen to Spike, Duffy!
If only....

11/12/2007 12:39 am
Oh God, Lucy's behind that door, isn't she??? ARGH, what a place to end the chapter!!! Please, please update again soon; this story is so good, and I love the interaction b/n B & S; it's nice to see Buffy accepting responsibility for her part of the problem, for once; can't wait til her and Spike have a chance to really discuss their separation!!!
Discussion coming up - although other events will take precedence over it for a while...:)

11/12/2007 12:20 am
Hmm, sounds like another additon to Team Angelus.

11/16/2007 03:53 am
the bantering shows all is not lost on the personal front. very good read, thank you.

11/16/2007 03:53 am
the bantering shows all is not lost on the personal front. very good read, thank you.

11/16/2007 03:45 am
the bantering shows all is not lost on the personal front. very good read, thank you.
Things are looking up - relationship-wise, anyway. :)

11/12/2007 12:49 am
Here's hoping Angelus stays as predictable as ever -- or maybe not?
We'll see....

11/11/2007 08:17 pm
Hehe, pissed off daddy vampire. :)

11/10/2007 07:41 pm
Well, at least they acknowledged the 'later'. Don't know what else to say besides I'm still hooked.
Hooked is good. :)

11/10/2007 07:16 pm
Gawd, I'm loving this story!
(Please don't make me eat those words!)
You've got the characterizations down pat. Very nice that Xander didn't, however, revert to idiotic type. So kind of him to act as go-between for Spike and to keep him informed about his children & Buffy as time wore on. Somehow, I'm feeling that the Xan-man might see those kiddies as the closest to any he might ever have if his life is with Faith (not that Faith wouldn't be a good mother, but perhaps she fears she wouldn't, with her past, and perhaps sees her path as strictly Slayer-ish and as Warrior). It's also fascinating that none of Buffy's old cronies, most of who've seen/suspected Spike's continued existence on this plain, have seen fit to mention it to Buffy or to each other...again, growing up and knowing perhaps when to keep something to oneself when important.
I don't understand that Willow isn't being utilized more in this fic, as her, and her witches, talents would/could definitely come in handy; at least, I would think so as the fight w/Angelus & Dru comes on.
Why not call in some of the more senior slayers, which surely, once others behind them were trained, began supervising/troubleshooting/instructing, etc...such as Vi, Rona, etc? Even an S8 Buffy-double would be a good thing here, to throw Angelus off his game---I know, vampire noses would spoil that quickly, but for surprise effect, and I doubt Dru was used to sniffing Buffy... hey, even the S8 Buffy-in-body-bag-double would be a good diversion, and might buy time...OK, I digress...(which I do a lot...)
I liked, that for the most part, I think that you're definitely using the BtVS S7 & AtS S5 Spike's personality, a slightly more serious Spike, more grown-up, more (usually) in control of himself & his demon & his impulsivity; of course, the years he had away from Buffy w/Angel in LA, then his return to mortality and subsequent years to marry Buffy, have children (and as a mortal babies can sure wear your ass down...errr tire you out....errr make you grow up in a hurry (usually, Hank notwithstanding) and establish a life besides slaying even though hand-in-hand with it; in other words, he had time, both as a vampire, then as a human, and apparently still as a vampire again, to realize, recognize and assume real responsibilities to himself, his family (even when not "allowed"), the people he cares about and probably his world/at least life wherever he's been. This Spike seems able to make decisions coherently for the most part, even if his heart IS still worn on his sleeve. And at least we are still treated to a bit of the snark between B&S, not least of which was the expected/nearly obligatory fist-fight between the two of them. Masterful of you to end it so quick, and with the two of them realizing this was something mom's & dad's should not do; and that the two of them did NOT end up in the sack right then and there (not that any of us gentle readers would've minded!)...barbs spoken between the two of them still are only to be expected, no matter HOW grown up they become (visions of Wm. shaking his cane at Buffy come to mind...)...Spike will somehow always feel the need to test the Slayer's mettle at least in verbal battle, and even in the depths of love with continue to complain about the other at least some. The comment about 'marrying a midget' was priceless. Especially as he's SO gargantuan himself!!! (hey, anybody know how tall (& weight?) JM actually is? Have seen estimates of anywhere from 5'6"-5'11", w/5'10" the est'd avg, and 135-200 lbs (know he said someplace he gained wt in B S/7 & A S/5 to minimize nude scenes plus was trying to get off cigs)I know most group publicity still-shots he's standing etc ON something like tires or steps or a riser); next to DB & MB (Riley) he looks 4-6" shorter; to SMG 5-7" taller; to TW of Smallville LOTS shorter, again, 4-6"+?))
Which leads to Buffy---not surprised that she ran away, still, when faced with something, especially involving Spike, that she couldn't handle. And with facing her own mistake(s). But to her credit, she has held down the fort for a number of years, raised her brood, kept 'em relatively happy & safe so far, been a mommy-taxi-service, ain't a spring chicken now, saved the world before that (and maybe since), and bore the weight of the guilt of saving Spike when he rose, sending him away, lying to his children & friends and keeping the secret of it all. Now with the added stress (and probably, knowing Buffy, undeserved self-heaped-on guilt) of Angel's turning to Angelus, a slayer's death, Nina's death and the fear for her life, that of her circle of friends/extended family (yeah, what about DAWN, BTW??? Wouldn't she, and if any, her family etc be a prime target too???) and the safety of mini-slayers and any ensuing casualties there, the gal's shoulders MUST be sagging...that's more than even she should be asked to bear. Add to that the gut-wrenching fear, and guilt, not to mention anger, that just the thought of Angelus brings to her mind every time it wanders to those years, and add to that exactly what Angelus just tried to do with his phone call---throw her back to a time when her younger-self was indecisive at the cost of others, and it adds up to an explanation of why she could easily revert in behavior when she has coped, be it with routine as a net, for the years since Spikes 2d human death.
Please don't let her totally revert to wishy-washy Buffy who can't file her nails w/o someone to tell her how & when & if she may do it. So many authors, especially some AU writers, paint a weak Buffy. It's one thing to get overcome (like she was after Glory stole Dawn), but another to be weak. She is, short of Diana Prince, the epitome of woman power. And the difference w/Spike has always been that he wanted to fight alongside her (or against her sometimes!) and at her back, not to pat her head and tell her to keep the homefires burning in her bare feet at the stove...
Cute that Spike's son turns out with a little pervy streak, wanting to crash with his newfound crush. Also his newly found thing for slayers...wonder if HE will fight right along with them in later years...a watcher in training? IF sequel were to come along, wouldn't THAT be a biggie w/Buffy as she would totally wig that something would bite him like ultimately happened to his father.
And Spike's reaction to his daughter having a talent for magick! Altho' unspoken, I felt like the gist was there, his feelings against the use of magick, hating it's use, even when necessary, even tho' lifesaving at times. It felt like he suddenly had a very bad taste in his mouth when he found out about Joy & magick. I think maybe he wanted her to turn out to be a slayer too. Maybe she has watcher as well in her cards?
I hope that both Will and Joy keep their heads literally & figuratively, and sadly, draw on a maturity that children their ages should not have to have nor use, but that children of a slayer and her circle, would. I hope they do not buckle and hope/think with weakness that they can help Lucy whether she is in thrall under Dru's influence or if turned by either Dru or Angelus (or other). (Begs a question: if a slayer was turned, which is always a big question or a no-no, would she automatically be a minion if not made childer? Would her demon/essence override or supercede that of the vamp demon, whether w/ or w/o soul, for good or for evil? Of course Angelus is going to use Lucy, and did so, to play w/Buffy et al, endanger the kids etc...would he take a chance on turning her? Will already more than halfway thinks it cool to be a vamp, and idolizes the possibility of a "good" vamp, knowing of souled vamp possibilities, and apparently theorizing that since his dad was a good vamp others might be too, or be saveable...SO hope that little talking to sunk in, in this case. And Lucy had become Joy's friend, closer even due to proximity and crisis.
Well, I think I've rivalled my gal ISA (that is Yzba, right?)in post-length. Like her, you had me bawlin' from the get-go of the prologue, and swept up into the story from that moment on. At first, I stalled reading this, as I knew it was going to be sad, angsty, but now I'm so glad I braved the beginning and read on.
Your fics are always great, so worth the read. And are appreciated. Even tho' we clamor for more, we are thankful for what you do give us readers.
Thanx again,

Wow! I think I can safely say that this is the longest review that I've ever received. :) I'm so pleased that the story has touched you so much that you would take that much time and effort to tell me how you feel about it. I certainly hope that you don't have to eat your words by the time it's completed, and that you continue to enjoy it. Thanks so much for reading and commenting. :)

11/10/2007 03:46 pm
ok Im caught up again!! MORE MORE MORE I just love this story!!!!!
:) Thanks.

11/10/2007 03:20 pm
Well, at least they're talking, even if it's just related to the current crisis.
Talking is good - as you say, even if it's crisis-related. Thanks for reading. :)

Mr. Chaos
11/10/2007 05:41 am
While this was a good chapter, I can't help but notice the mistake: Locator spell on Lucy. Willow is uber witch...probably could teleport the entire Slayer Army to the hideout instantly.

But then, wherewould bethe drama? So Imust try and ignore that small hole.
You are 100% correct! Major plot hole! Gah! Thanks for pointing it out. *goes off muttering about how to fix/explain the lack of locator spell to find missing Slayer without losing drama.*

Pam S
11/10/2007 03:45 am
Poor Lucy. Flashback of Season 2. Soon to be tortured by Angelus and Dru. Waiting for the Spike surprise. And the personal conversation b/w Buffy and Spike are drawing them closer
along with protecting their children. And I do want a different Spike. And for Buffy to have to work for it. I'm sorry is not something that comes out of her mouth very often.

I did enjoy the puppylove between Buffy and Angel. Preferred the character of Angelus in Buffy Season 2 although I think the best acting Mr. B did was with James in the last season of Angel.

Thanks. I"m glad that you're still enjoying it. :)

11/10/2007 03:32 am
Oh, I absolutely love the interaction between Spike and Buffy; that "I married a midget" remark was fantastic. It's the same sort of half-snarky, half-fond remarks most couples make, if they've been together any length of time. You've really got that sense of familiarity down pat for them, even if they have been separated for years. Please, please update again soon; and then update again. And then, one more. And maybe another chapter, if you've got time. OK???
LOL Another chapter tomorrow. There are only four more to go. :)

12/24/2011 05:48 pm
Of course Buffy hit Spike first. I don't see Spike staying very long. He'll take care of Dru and Angelus and go back to where he was. Maybe he will have more contact with the kids.
I doubt Spike will leave his kids again.  But he and Buffy have some things to work out.

11/16/2007 03:29 am
shame she doesn't have an answering machine. could have resolved a few issues right then. fine read, thank you.
Hee! Thanks.

11/10/2007 02:03 am
So great! Anxious for more!
Thanks! More is now up. :)

11/09/2007 10:41 pm
Awe cute :) The children had an idea of their own how to spend the morning. Sweet :) Only that it almost went wrong because Spike didn't know what to say.
Uh-huh... it's not always the simple way it seems, fight and make up. Not this time. It only worried the children, not used to that. Interesting question raised that didn't get answered...
Yep, more issues and questions than answers at this point.

11/09/2007 10:06 pm
Good heavens. I cna't believe how completely believable you have written every character. I loved it that the fight didn't go beyone one blow, that they didn't immediately put the daybed to use...or the floor or wall or whatever. The daybed probably couldn't have handled it anyway.
Can't wait for more updates - HOW are you writing such a terrific story so fast, anyway???
*G* I'm writing it so fast because it's already completed. It was written as my entry for this round at the Live Journal community Seasonal Spuffy and was posted there on the third. So, all I'm doing here is putting up the chapters at the rate of one a day.

I so pleased that you are finding my characters and situations believable. I hope you continue to like the story.

11/09/2007 09:53 pm
Hi there. I just found this story last night. I didn't leave a review because I was too sleepy. When you see how long my review is you will understand why I couldn't write it while being sleepy.

Let me start off my saying how much I love this story. I know that it is going to be one of my all time favorites and the story isn't even finish yet.

It takes a lot for me to really cry in stories. The first chapter had me bawling. I had fat tears rolling down my cheeks while my heart was breaking. I felt sad for Buffy and for the kids who had to grow up without a father. But my heart was breaking mainly for Spike. When Buffy and the kids were saying their goodbyes to Spike. That part moved me and sadden me so much. I was just trying to imagine what Spike must have been going through. To walk away from your family and be alone. Always thinking about your family and if they are ok and happy. Hoping that they are. Trying to picture what your kids look like as they grow up. Hoping your kids remember you. Especially with a guy like Spike. Who his whole life is about taking care of his love ones. Spike is love's bitch and which is why we Spike fans love him so much. I am sure being away from his family was killing him.

Some people feel that they can understand where Buffy is coming from. I don't and I won't. If you trust someone with your life. Then you are going to trust someone with your kids' lives especially when they are kids of that person as well. Even if she was not thinking straight. She could have said to Spike give me some time and let me clear my head. But to decide that same night that I want my husband and the father of my kids out of our lives for good just makes me so mad.

Buffy make a huge huge mistake. I for one hope that Spike doesn't make it easy for her. I hope Spike stands up for himself and say if you want me back then you are going to have to work for it. Cause what she did to Spike was almost unforgivable. To take away his kids and family. Does Buffy even think about the kind of pain Spike must have went through. I hope she really does realize the pain she put him in. Cause to me she does know she hurt him but does really realize the depths of pain that Spike must have went through.

I was wondering if we were going to see what Spike was doing during his time away from his family. Did he have any friends or a lover during this time? I hope he at least had friends or a friend and was not completely alone.

I know that you already have a lot to write about. So, I will understand if we won't see what Spike has been up to during his time away from his kids.

I will be waiting as patiently as I can for more. LOL

Now, you can see why I couldn't type all of what I wanted to say in a sleepy state of mind. LOL
LOL - that was one long (and very thoughtful) review. I hope you enjoy the rest of the story, although, I'm sorry to say that I don't really touch on where Spike has been or what he has been doing. I guess we can assume that he found himself a place to live where there were demons/vamps to beat up and whiskey to drink. :)

11/09/2007 02:13 pm
Oh my god - PLEASE give us smoochies soon!!! I'm dying here w/ all the longing and the angst.

But fantastic story and wonderful concept - very fresh.
LOL - they're going to have to work their way up to smoochies. It's been awhile and there's stuff to work through first. :)

11/09/2007 01:41 pm
Really enjoying this! I'm so glad Spike is back- just hope he and Buffy get back together soon!!
Well, they do have some things in common. Maybe they can bond over dusting Angel? LOL

elvara ( Jamies_lady)
11/09/2007 12:18 pm
wonderful, poor kids though, with anyone else it would be abuse, with Spike and Buffy its fore play:)
looking forward to more
Yep, just one of the adjustments the kids are going to have to make to having a vampire for a dad...Thanks for reading.

11/09/2007 10:52 am
I can't believe she punched him. The poor guy is a sucker for punishment.
Well, I don't believe he was anticipating it - and he did punch her back, so it's all good, if a bit unlike most couples' idea of how to best resolve a dispute...:)

Pam S
11/09/2007 10:31 am
Yea.. for the kids getting Spike back in the house without much to do. But the hitting..

And leave it to Buffy to run of. Can't admit it again. Shame it seems we are back to 'ole times.

Old habits die hard...not so much old times as you might thing, though. Spike's a different vamp this time around.

11/09/2007 06:41 am
Aw . . . 'Spike staring after her with his own answer more than visible in his eyes' He is so readable when his love is concerned. Loving it. Keep up the regular updates, please.
Thanks. Another one tonight. :)

Mr. Chaos
11/09/2007 05:39 am
Interesting that Buffy did nothing to deny that she has something akin to ademon in her.

Gee...its fair for Buffy, with the essence of a demon making her a slayer to be with the kids...but not Spike.

Yet another bitch moment.

About to the point thatif she doesn't grovel for Spike, he should go ressurect Fred and have some fun.
No, she's pretty much accepted where her power comes from. Her demon has been chained for a very long time, though. And converted into a weapon for the forces of good. Not much comparison to a vampire's bloodthirsty demon.

We'll see. Bigger things to worry about just now than their relationship...

Thanks for reading. :)

11/09/2007 05:21 am
Ah, the old Buffy and Spike. I missed you so, lol. Great three chapters. sorry I didn't post a review to the other two, but i enjoyed them all. Can't wait for the next update. I can do another snoopy dance.
No problem. Just so you're enjoying it. :)

11/09/2007 05:00 am
Love Love Love It!

this is my anti-drug
Hee! Thank you. :)

11/09/2007 02:53 am
They really know how to push each other's buttons. Thanks for the timely updates!
You're welcome. Another one coming tomorrow night. ;)

11/09/2007 02:25 am
My God, you're good. I'm actually on the edge of my seat, reading this. I'm dying to know what's going to happen next, so PLEASE, update again soon!!! *Grown-up enters the room* I'm sure I can offer some critical advice of some kind... *is knocked upside the head with frying pan by rabid fan, receives concussion*...but there's no need; excellent story!! Bravo!!! *Grown-up falls down unconscious, rabid fan does victory dance* Seriously, though. Really good; more please!!!
ROFL - your reviews are such fun to read. :) Another update tomorrow. *hands poor grown-up an ice pack*

12/24/2011 05:41 pm
When is she ever going to let go of past heartbreaks and really love someone. Because she didn't really love Spike. Even when they were married, because if she did she would have trusted him. That is the biggest part of love, trust and she doesn't have it for him. And he can't be with her without it.
Um.. yes, she did/does love Spike. Hence the lack of taking off her wedding ring, rarely dating and never having sex with anyone,  She didn't trust him (momentarily, in her addled grief) once he became a vampire again because she'd had so much time to get used to him and Angel as  humans - humans who constantly reminded her that vampires were soulless killers.

11/16/2007 03:20 am
buffy probably couldn't feel an worse. she brought it on herself, so it is hard to be sympathetic. very good read, thank you.
She did. You reap what you sow...Thanks for reading.

11/13/2007 11:05 am
Wonderful to see so many new chapters -
:) Enjoy!

11/09/2007 10:40 pm
Ah Will's reaction to Spike was different. Even if younger he tried to be more grown-up :) No wonder Spike's heart turned to ice... Buffy will have a lot of groveling to make up to him for the years she took from him. And with the two cars Buffy and Spike were driving the kids were drawn back and forth what to do. Like if their parents were divorced. (This scene reminded me of that).
Not an easy situation for Buffy in the house (but like she said, it was her decision for the misery she's in now. Not because of Angelus, because of missing Spike.) It's hard for me to feel sorry for Buffy because what she did was caused by herself out of her free will. ~ Spike's statement didn't tell a thing. Could mean he won't forgive her for doing what she did or he already has for the sake of his children.
Ah Buffy is devastated because her children forgot to wish her goodnight. Spike told her.. and if she did hear she knows what he has missed, how he felt. *sigh* Heartbreaking reunion.
Thanks. I'm glad you found it affecting. I hope you enjoy the rest of the fic.

11/08/2007 09:14 pm
This chapter was very well done. The reunion with the children was great and written as I would imagine. Joy and Will's reactions to their Mom was expected. The awkwardness between Spike and Buffy was also well done. It is sad to read and I wonder if they will get back together.

11/08/2007 09:14 pm
This chapter was very well done. The reunion with the children was great and written as I would imagine. Joy and Will's reactions to their Mom was expected. The awkwardness between Spike and Buffy was also well done. It is sad to read and I wonder if they will get back together.
Thank you so much. I'm glad you think it went believably.

11/08/2007 08:50 pm
Ok, I'm reading this at work (hiding it from my boss *cringes*) and now I'm trying not to cry. *snarls* So thanks a bunch!

Really, this is an amazing story; and while I can't wait for Buffy and Spike to kiss and make up, I'm glad to see Spike's not throwing himself at Buffy's feet; obviously he's gained some self-respect during both his time as a human and during his time away from his family. Please update again soon; can't wait for more!
Another update tonight. Thanks for reading.:) I'm glad you're liking it.

11/08/2007 07:58 pm
The chapter a day is cruel punishment! Leaving me waiting here for more tsk tsk tsk
LOL Another chapter will go up sometime tonight.

11/08/2007 06:07 pm
fantastic reunion scene - SO believeable. So heartbreaking.
Thank you. I'm so glad it worked for you. :)

11/08/2007 09:59 am
Is Buffy really expecting him to just walk back into those ever-loving arms of hers?
Well, perhaps not expecting, but hoping? I suppose she probably does expect it of him, but she's going to have to work for it this time.

11/08/2007 07:43 am
I really like how you write the kids. They aren't one dimensional. They actually add to the story.
Thank you so much for saying so. I'm always uncomfortable writing original characters.

11/08/2007 06:16 am
Gosh, it is just so heart-wrenching. "Every blood day"
:) Thanks for reading.

11/08/2007 03:59 am
gawd i want more already! I just love this story!!!!
LOL More tonight.

Pam S
11/08/2007 03:53 am
Some progress.. Spike still reticent.. and in protection mode.

Thanks - hope you continue to do so.

11/08/2007 02:55 am
And it just gets better! This is such a believable and angsty story that it is driving me to read fan fiction ...

(Your fan fiction, actually. I found some great non-Buffy focused stories on your website that I had never read.)
LOL Thank you. That's very flattering. I'm trying to branch out a bit from Spuffy, but my site is about the only place to post most of that kind of thing. :)

11/08/2007 02:36 am
Glad to have Spike back. Looking forward to more soon.
Another chapter tommorrow

12/24/2011 05:32 pm
At least someone was happy he was there. Glad to see Joyce ran and hugged him with no reservations.

11/16/2007 02:55 am
if only buffy would let that voice that answers here questions act for her, maybe things would be easier. as it is she 30 seconds out of sync with what she wants. very good read, thank you.
Alas - thinking and doing aren't always the same thing, are then? Thanks for reading.

11/09/2007 10:39 pm
Not easy to sleep after such news...
~ Well it wasn't a secret any longer anyway but it was fun when Buffy thought Willow was talking of Spike ;-)
Bad news about Angelus, having already killed a slayer. And Buffy is consequent: Like she way she pushed Spike out of her life for the fear of her children she wants Angelus staked now.
What a way to be back (Spike) (what an entrance). Joy had no past (= the driving away Buffy did) with Spike like Buffy. No wonder Buffy felt awkward. *sigh* Yeah, Buffy asked Spike to come back for the children, she didn't ask him to come back to her. That's a difference. Maybe Buffy noticed that now.
You know Spike. He likes to make an entrance. :)

11/08/2007 03:34 am
oh man oh man oh man MORE MORE MORE please???
More there is...:)

11/07/2007 04:24 pm
I am SO loving this story.
Thank you. :)

11/07/2007 09:32 am
I'm just lovin' this :)
Thank you. :)

11/06/2007 11:16 pm
You're doing a great job with the most exasperating Buffy ever!! So glad Spike's doing detached.
Thanks. I hope you continue to think so! :)

11/06/2007 10:42 pm
Will this be the only update today?
'Fraid so - I'm about to go out for dinner and a party. Another one tomorrow sometime.

Pam S
11/06/2007 07:48 pm
Spike..all business like. Respecting her wishes. And Buffy..wishing she hadn't. Seems quite a few years have passed.

And she is worried about mad. Mad is when you just argued over something stupid 5 minutes ago. I think after 5 or more years I would call it detached.

Family .. she asked him to leave and never tried to find him even when she knew she was wrong. Normal Buffy.

Enjoying.. even though I am complaining.
LOL - I'm glad you're enjoying it. Complain away - she has it coming. :)

12/24/2011 05:24 pm
Sure now she wants Spike around. Just like before, use him for muscle. Use the fact that he would do anything for someone he loves to bring him back. Convivent memory she has. When it benefits what she wants she remembers that he can love without a soul. But when it is something he wants he is just a soulless demon. This really isn't going to endear her to him. He knows her, knows the only reason she wants him back is because she is scared. Not because anything has changed.
Oh, I think she's wanted him back long before this. She just didn't know where he was and assumed he hated her by now.  She was going to let the kids meet him anyway, but now it's become urgent.  I don't think she has any expectations for them, but she knows he will  want to protect his kids.

11/16/2007 02:22 am
fine chapter. really great line: "The idea that two of the strongest and most dangerous (to demons) adults he knew were clearly frightened for him, was unsettling enough to put a small hole in his sense of his own invulnerability."
I'm glad you're liking it. :) Thanks for reading and commenting.

11/09/2007 10:38 pm
Hopefully I've picked the right chapters for my reviews this time :)
Oh Joy can do magic too? Wonder where she get this from. Will is still mad at Buffy...
How quick things can change with Angelus turned and Nina dead now. Now Buffy needs her Spike back. This really speed up her decision.
Things gotten dangerous all of a sudden. Too bad Spike can't protect his children in daylight too.
Hi, CK! I'm glad you found your way here. Yep, things are getting more dangerous...for everyone. :)

11/08/2007 05:50 am
Ooo, liking the new development. And Faith and Xander, good pairing.

Mary Beth
11/06/2007 06:38 pm
Um im just gonna sit here until you update :-)
LOL - just put the next chapter up. Take a look. :)

11/06/2007 03:21 pm
Can't wait for Spike to come home.
Hee! See the next chapter...

11/06/2007 01:56 pm
WOW oh wow! great chapter! Can't wait for Spike to get back! MORE MORE MORE!!!! he he he he thank you!
Thanks for reading. More tonight. :)

11/06/2007 10:00 am
Great chapter -- it seems Buffy really needs danger to become herself and not pod Buffy.
Tends to focus the mind a bit...:)

11/06/2007 03:12 am
thanks for the speedy update. can't wait for more.
Thanks for reading. More tomorrow.

11/06/2007 03:11 am
My eyes hurt from all the reading, but can I say I LOVE this story. Can't wait for more, you have me hanging onto your every typed word. Angel adn Spike both turned, and I find it wonderful how Spiek came back and Angel.. er, Angelus.

I know I said this already but I can't wait for more.
LOL Thanks. More tomorrow.

Pam S
11/06/2007 02:38 am
Ah, the plot gets better.. Angelus returns, poor Nina, too bad it wasn't a Full Moon night.
And crazy Drusilla.

Now Buffy is in full slayer mode, the kids educated the hard way, and Daddy is coming home..

Thank you. I hope you continue to like it.

11/06/2007 02:04 am
God, what a place to leave it; I feel as frantic as Spike must!!! Please, PLEASE update again soon. You're killing me here!!! *Takes off rabid fan hat, puts on unbiased critic hat* Excellent characterization; pleased to see a mature Xander with some real dimensions (so often he's written as a angry bigot; Xander was more than that, the majority of the time) fantastic plot twist with both Shanshu'd vamps getting vamped again; looking forward to more. *Takes off critic hat, shoves rabid fan hat down over eyes* MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!
LOL - pats you on multi-hatted head. More tomorrow.

12/24/2011 05:16 pm
Very grown up Xander. I am impressed. The one person I was sure would be on the stake Spike train is actually calling him a friend and defending him.
I like to think they woud all have grown up quite a bit in this length of time. Even if Buffy reverted to her earlier belief that she couldn't trust a vampire.

11/16/2007 01:51 am
lord, xander can keep a secret. very good read.

11/08/2007 05:35 am
Wow, Xander is being all supportive. I guess when Spike became human they got chummy,
LOL - well, chummier, for sure. :)

11/06/2007 01:00 am
Great story! Looking forward to reading more.
Thanks - more soon. :)

11/05/2007 10:31 pm
Liked this chapter very much
Thank you, I"m glad. :)

11/05/2007 10:01 pm
oh, I can't wait til Spike comes home; he's gonna be soooo pissed!!! I hope. I love stories where Spike grows a pair. I can't wait to read the reunion between Spike and his children; update again soon, please!!!
Another update tonight sometime.

11/05/2007 08:53 pm
Buffy really is messed up - even Xander accepts him and yet she doesn't know what to do.
Oh, by this time she more than knows what she wants to do. She just hasn't been able to make herself do it. Don't forget, she had no idea where Spike was or how to find him.

11/05/2007 06:05 pm
great story so far. way to go Xander. i like grown up Xan so far. til next time.
Thanks. I'm glad you like my Xander. More later tonight. ;)

11/05/2007 05:32 pm
awwwwwwwwwww man i am all caught up now and just biting at the bit for MORE MORE MORE MORE MORE!!!!!

Great story!
LOL Another chapter tonight. Thanks for reading. I'm glad you like it.

Pam S
11/05/2007 05:15 pm
So the kids know about witchcraft.. and a close friend to Joyce is. Good 'ole locator spells.

Glad Xander is a friend in this fic and not a whiny I hate Spike 'cause he was/is a vampire.

Enjoying the updates.

Thank you. I hope you continue to do so. :)

12/24/2011 05:11 pm
Those poor kids, six years of not having their father around because Buffy is an emotional coward.
Six long years for everyone.

11/16/2007 01:44 am
i thought buffy was feeling bad before, seems to be getting worse. i positive they kids will come up with a great plan. look at what great planners their parents are. uh, never mind. very good read, thank you.
ROFL - thanks

11/05/2007 03:56 pm
Hope your have an update soon - really like your story - Nice Faith treatment.
Thank you. I"m glad you like my Faith. Updates will be very regular from now on.

11/05/2007 04:19 am
This is shaping up to be an absolutely outstanding fic. Typical impulsive Buffy believing the worst before she realises she's made an error in judgement, and typical Spike doing what he thinks she wantsand sacrificing himself.
And Will is bound to do something daft... his plans are bound to go as well as Spike's LOL
Wonder what he's been doing all this time.... more soon please.
Another chapter will go up today. Then one a day until they're all up. Thanks for reading. I'm glad you're liking it.

11/05/2007 03:57 am
I really love how you're setting this up. I have a feeling this story will be as addictive as all your others.
Hee! I hope you like it! Thanks for reading.

11/04/2007 10:04 pm
I don't know; I'm usually the first person to jump on the "Buffy's a Big Bitch" Bandwagon, but I seriousy don't see her as being a big bitca in this story; she's just a mom, concerned about her kids well-being. And after time spent thinking about it, she seems like she might be open to having Spike back in their lives. Can't wait to see what happens next; bring on those updates!
Exactly. She's wrong - but she's wrong for the right reasons. And she very quickly realizes her mistake, she just has no way to correct it.

11/04/2007 08:53 pm
Some sense at last, and from the mouths of babes! Go kids!!
LOL They're pretty smart cookies.

12/24/2011 05:05 pm
Trust Faith to not pull any punches. It's exactly what Buffy needs. Someone to tell her how stupid she was.

11/16/2007 12:28 am
great job with faith. very good read, thank you.
Thanks. Glad you liked her.

11/04/2007 08:48 pm
I'm glad Faith said that. The years have not been kind to Buffy's dumbness.
Leave it to Faith to tell the hard truths.

12/24/2011 05:01 pm
Thats Buffy lash out when things get emotional. Yeah you are the reason you and your kids don't have your husband and their father. He would never have hurt them.
Which is going to occur to her too late...

11/16/2007 03:32 am
Six years. Wow, Buffy is stubborn, isn't she? It will be interesting to find out where Spike has been and all that he has been doing ... I'm sure he hasn't been hanging out on their roof the whole time, lol. Well, assuming that was him. Another lovely chapter. :)
Thank you. Well, stubborn is Buffy. LOL And Spike's a bit unbending himself if he's sufficiently pissed off. So...

11/15/2007 09:39 pm
love buffy's internal voice. good read, thank you.

11/04/2007 08:44 pm
So much time wasted for all of them. Tragic.
Yes. It's sad.

11/15/2007 09:31 pm
really like buffy's "...but I’m still his. And he’s still mine." very good read, thank you.

Thanks. I'm glad you liked.

11/08/2007 02:29 am
***I’m still Mrs. Pratt. I still have a husband. I may have sent him away, but I’m still his. And he’s still mine.***

The above paragraph is so beautiful. I can understand why she sent him away, but poor Spike. Also, LOL about the "nice, attractive man" and his sports car. I loved the last line. Buffy - there's hope for you yet!

Sorry for the delay in the update. I'm running behind on everything because of Nano. But I want you to know that I'm definitely following this story to the end. :)
No problem, sweetie. I hope you continue to like it. :)

11/05/2007 01:00 am
Did a fast read before I left for work yesterday but this deserves a cup of tea and time so I plan to reread tonight or tomorrow after work and sleep. I will say a few things is haunting. I mean that literally because it has stuck in my mind and played over and over while awake and working and while I's a rare power to write a story that does that and you have it hon.

Also I was thinking of in interesting irony. In S7 the gang did the worst thing (other than the resurrection) to Buffy ever IMHO...they turned her out of her home ..... alone ... while the town was teeming with Turok Han's all intent on wiping out the Slayers and potentials. In this story Buffy turns Spike out of his home .... alone ... while the world was filled with Slayers intent on wiping out all Vampires and Demons.

Spike was by horrified by what had been done to Buffy and battled for her. Sadly it was Buffy who did this to Spike. The irony is painful, very painful.

You even have her remark that she doesn't even know if he's been staked by one of the Slayers who have no reason to know who he is. That makes her betrayal even worse IMHO.

The end is hopeful especially as Spike understood somewhat beause of Angelus but it is bittersweet because of her actions and her lack of faith. She no longer believed in him with the soul gone and that will likely always taint the relationship.

This is not a criticism mind you I can see her doing exactly this. I am one who DOES believe there is hope for this pair to have a happy ending but it is always contingent on Buffy maturing and their mutual ability to forgive. Your story had the forgivness and a degree of maturation, sadly not fast enough to prevent the pain though. Much like life.

Wonderfully told story. I know I'll comment further after a nice slow read through. You have always been a consistant quality writer and this one is one of your very best.

Thank you, Kathleen. I always look forward to your reviews and your thoughts on a particular story. This one did sort of grab me and refuse to let go until I had finished it. I think, perhaps, I could have shown her grieving a bit more over her decision through the years, but hopefully it did come across that she regretted it almost immediately.

I suspect they will have some issues to work out - just because they have kissed and made up doesn't mean all is forgiven or forgotten. And, too, with Spike being in contact with Xander, he could have swallowed his pride and anger to test the waters in terms of whether he would be welcomed back...It wouldn't have been the first time he had to forgive Buffy for something terrible.

I like to think that her seeming rejection of him without the soul was due to her emotional state at the time - having sat there expecting to have to kill a demon wearing the face of the man she loved. She had steeled herself for that, then found herself with Spike and didn't know what to think or do. I'm afraid it was the gut reaction of a slayer, rather than the well-thought-out assessment of the woman who loved him. A slayer's instincts are what keep her alive, and I think that reaction is pretty hard-wired into them - no matter how much they may know better when it comes to one particular vampire.

I'm so glad you found it believable and worth reading. :)

11/04/2007 08:40 pm
So I take it Buffy is in a holding pattern.
Pretty much. A single mom for all intents and purposes, but one with no interest in remarriage.

11/04/2007 04:27 pm
Great, great great!!! More please!! I love stories that allow Spike and Buffy to have a family, and I love stories with VampSpike and Buffy, and you've combined the two together, in a great way. More, more, more!! *Reasonable person comes out of closet and clubs greedy whiner over the head* Sorry about that! *Disapears back into closet leaving unconscious whiner on the floor* Seriously though, update soon!!!
LOL Updates will be quick until I've caught up with my LJ; then daily after that. I'm glad you're liking it.

12/24/2011 04:51 pm
How could she do that to him?! He never needed to be human or have a soul to love. She knows this!
She should have, definitely. Gonna cause them a lot of pain....

11/15/2007 09:15 pm
very tough decision for buffy. one that i can understand but not like. if she made another choice this tale would not be written. very good beginning, thank you.
Thank you. I hope you like the story. :)

11/07/2007 03:08 am
Okay, just read the other reviews on this chapter, which I should never do because they always make me think more :-P So, yeah, Buffy's being an idiot, and part of her seems to know that. But, then again, Spike walked away at her request. Maybe he trusts her judgment more than his now that he's sans soul again. Of course, Spike's also never been good at following orders--even Buffy's orders--so, I'll have to wait and see how that pans out.

But, I digress. My point of coming back to write more was to say this: Buffy's choice to send Spike away is probably what any mother would do in the same situation. She's always been extremely protective of those she loves, and she'd most likely be even more protective with her own children. I'm not a mother (does cat mommy count?), and I love my husband more than anything in this world; but, if faced with a situation where he hurt or might hurt our child, I'd feel it my duty to protect said child above all else. I might take a risk with myself, but children need their parents to protect them. I imagine that Buffy would feel the same way.

11/07/2007 03:08 am
Okay, just read the other reviews on this chapter, which I should never do because they always make me think more :-P So, yeah, Buffy's being an idiot, and part of her seems to know that. But, then again, Spike walked away at her request. Maybe he trusts her judgment more than his now that he's sans soul again. Of course, Spike's also never been good at following orders--even Buffy's orders--so, I'll have to wait and see how that pans out.

But, I digress. My point of coming back to write more was to say this: Buffy's choice to send Spike away is probably what any mother would do in the same situation. She's always been extremely protective of those she loves, and she'd most likely be even more protective with her own children. I'm not a mother (does cat mommy count?), and I love my husband more than anything in this world; but, if faced with a situation where he hurt or might hurt our child, I'd feel it my duty to protect said child above all else. I might take a risk with myself, but children need their parents to protect them. I imagine that Buffy would feel the same way.
Everyone is going to have their own take on Buffy's behavior in this chapter. We'll just have to wait and see how many of them hate me/her for it. I think it was a gut slayer/mother reaction that she regretted almost immediately - but didn't know how to fix.

11/07/2007 02:53 am
Just started reading this. I was gonna not read it when I saw the character death warning; but I started anyway. And now I'm all enraptured and crying :-( and scared of what's going to happen next, but more scared of not finding out what's going to happen :-P So, I read on...
LOL - I hope you like it!

11/06/2007 06:00 am
Omg I shed a tear wonderful!

more please
New chapter every day - but you should see six of them at this point. :)

11/05/2007 03:12 pm
wonderful start and some very hard questions to explore - But having Buffy go on automatic Slayer Kill Vamp mode, especially after having lived through Spike's journey of transformation makes it seems like all their married life and last ten years was based on lie.

One can't help but think that Buffy would never have chosen to be with Spike without the Shanshu and that there was a great divide between the reality of their lives- that somehow a very huge mistake and lack of fundamental trust of Spike as Vamp was never there. Once the understanding that the same Spike as Vamp was resurrected, at least some of that history should have made an impression on her. Spike must feel not only the ultimate Heart Break over the loss of his family, but also an immense sense of betrayal from the woman he loved - not only for the last ten years but especially because they had both lived through his change.

Understand that Buffy might be on Auto Protective Mother Mode - but that, like all things dealing with the human condition and relationships, is not neccessarily the best form of action to live by. Not saying that her real fear for her children are not to have been considered, but neither did Spike return as the mindless newly risen typical vamp.

On to the next chapter - Best Wishes to you with your story - I look forward to reading the piece.
I think everyone is going to have their own reaction to Buffy's actions in this one. While I think we can all agree that she made a bad decision, her emotional state as well as the protective mother/slayer instincts that are hard-wired into her seem to have taken precedence over her common sense.

I hope you like the rest of it, and find it believable behavior on both their parts. Let me know what you think. :)

11/05/2007 02:17 am
Ok, when I clicked on this fic I wasn't expecting this. Wow. I am angry at Buffy, but I understand her actions. I am so curious to find out what you plan to do with this situation.
Start 'em with a bang, I always say. lol I try to fix it, but it takes a while...

11/04/2007 11:53 am
You know how much I love this story! I feel for them both so much here, they are both hurting so much. Poor Buffy, such a terrible decision to have to make--between the man she loves and the safety of her children.

I think it is easy for people to call Buffy a bitch and say how evil she is being here, but I think it is a decision most mothers would make when faced with a potential threat to their children...especially considering that Spike was one of those drumming that lesson into her head for the last ten years!

If you still can't remember how to put the banner up in the morning (my morning) just sing out and I'll walk you through it.
Well, we knew this would be the difficult one to sell when I asked you to help me choose between the two potential fics. Obviously the other one would have been the more popular choice, but this one is affecting readers and that's even better. :) I haven't had a chance to look yet, but I think I have the proper code written down somewhere so that I just have to insert the proper fic, but whether or not I can find it is another story...LOL

11/04/2007 09:39 am
I'm hooked. I don't have kids, but I can understand a mother wanting to protect hers. I think people are too hard on Buffy. Why would she think the same demon would inhabit Spikes body? We are viewers, we know Spike really loves Buffy, but how is Buffy supposed to know. Especially in the series, He tried to Kill her many times. That would make me doubt his love especially with her past Angel experience. Buffy isn't perfect but neither is Spike. I know I got a little sidetracked but I really hate all the Buffy bashing.
It's okay. I'm glad you can see both sides of the situation. Thanks for reading and commenting. I hope you like the rest of the story. :)

11/04/2007 07:07 am
i love all of your stories, but i just don't think this one is for me. i don't understand how buffy could treat spike like that after being married to him for 10 years, soul or no soul, that shouldn't matter. he doesn't act any different, and it's upsetting that she thinks she has to keep the kids from him. after all the crap that i've dealt with in my life lately, i definitely need something happier. you are one of my favorite authors though and i wish you luck with the rest of the story. i hope to read more from you in the future.
No problem, sweetie. All readers are entitled to pick and choose what they want to read. I will tell you it has an eventual happy ending, and that Buffy gets to regret her decision very quickly. But, I certainly understand if you find the subject matter difficult. I hope you find the next story I post more to your liking. :)

11/04/2007 04:52 am
Wow - that was a very intense prologue. I can't wait to read what ride you're going to take these characters on.
I hope you like where I go with it. That is definitely the worst of the angst. :)

11/04/2007 04:48 am
Wow. Not only does this look like a fantastic story, it's definitely a plot I have never seen explored. I'm really looking forward to more ...

I like how you explain that Buffy is not thinking about the risk of having a demon around so much as the unacceptability of any risk around her children. That seems to me a believable - and understandable - motivation. Also, the kids seem believable, too. I'm not into baby fics myself, but well-done family fics are rare and wonderful.
Thank you. I hope you continue to enjoy it. Not a fan of baby fics myself, but you'll notice I skipped right over the pregnant, new-mom Buffy. lol I hope you continue to like it.

11/04/2007 04:20 am
God, Pattie. *sobs* That was really hard to read and when I made it to the part with the kids saying goodbye to their dad I lost it. Me losing my grandmother not so long ago, just everything came flooding back. But I made it through. I think it's safe to say I HATE Buffy 100%. Bitch, how could she do that to her kids and Spike. She never really knew him at all. TPTB sent him back to her and this is how she treated him. Spike deserves better. (Never thought I'd say that, lol) Great prologue! Though I'm still crying, lol.
LOL - Have been handing out virtual tissues in wholesale lots for this prologue. It gets better - I promise! :)

11/04/2007 02:49 am
Great story, slayme. Loved the Best of Spike moments and your follow ups. Can't believe Buffy is such a bonehead.
LOL She'll get over it...eventually. Thanks for reading. I hope you like the rest of it.

11/04/2007 02:42 am
pshh. Buffy's so dumb sometimes.

Wonderful beginning, I'm interested to see where you're taking this.
Thanks. Updates will be quick, at least until I catch up with where it is on my LJ, then regularly one a day probably.

11/04/2007 02:21 am
I love angst, and you write it so well. Poor Spike ... but at least, for once, Buffy has a reason to act as she does. Great start. I look forward to reading more of this. :D
Thanks, sweetie. More soon. :)

11/04/2007 01:59 am
Interesting start - ten years of domestic bliss would bring out the lioness protecting her cubs. Poor Spike - poor everyone.
Yes, poor everyone. No one comes out of this happy. Alas.

11/04/2007 01:55 am
Ok, I'm crying now, so thanks a bunch! Awesome story; can't wait for more... of course, I think you could post your grocery list, and I'd read it happily!!!
LOL - My grocery list really isn't all that interesting, but I appreciate the sentiment. :) It will get better, eventually...