I meant to say that I very much apprecitate that you tackled this topic.  Buffy's behavior when she beat Spike and virtually left him for dead was one of the more serious acts of abuse I've seen depicted on screen and the fact that it was administered by a female does not make it any less abusive or any more acceptable.  She was never called on it in the show, and i don't think I"ve ever seen anyone else address it seriously.  Frankly, between what happened in the bathroom (paticularly in context of their relationship) and what she did to Spike that night, there's no contest for which of those is a prosecutable and reprehensible event.  What he did was overreach.  I thought it was wrong, but I didn't think it constituted attempted rape.  Assault yes, but not attempted rape. 

In leaving Spike that night, she could very well have caused his death.  He was in such horrible shape, the first time i saw that episode, I found myself wondering if he was going to dust when the sun came up...  thank you for tackling this.

Peace,

Blue

DeepBlueJoy's stories: http://www.tthfanfic.org/authors.php?no=12717&list=profile

A neat story.  thank you for sharing it with us.

blue

NICE  - Always enjoy reading your works - and reading a piece where Buffy has to learn about herself and how to manage her life without overboard histrionics made for a very good change. 

Plan to read more of your work this week - 

Thanks, I always wanted her to see the horror of her actions and find the strength to change without an apocalypse.  A nice happily ever after...except for Riley, I think everyone secretly hates him. 

Aww - I'm a sucker for a happy ending.

fine end to the tale, with a few points left to explore (sequel.) thanks for the fun read.

That was excellent. I can't wait to read more of your work. Keep up the great writing...Is there a sequel in thoughts?

Jace

The end?!? No! Not the end! I'm suddenly saddened that there will be no more new Buffy living her life the right way. Love the scene at the end with the Summers women and their vampire! It was absolutely perfect and a great ending! Wish we could have seen Buffy tell the Scoobies but still an incredible story!

Oooh, nice ending! Only thing I wish you'd shown was the Sccob's reaction to the relationship; I'd like to see how this new honest Buffy would face up to their censure; maybe a sequel?? LOL! Awesome story, thanks so much!

What a fabulous story you've shared with us. Thank you! If only it could have gone down that way. ~sigh~ ;)

Thanks for writing this story. I am really glad I read it. A coming back to life story was just what I needed right now, and you can't imagine how appropriate.
My fiance had his 16th serious heart attack Monday. Tuesday I was told he'd never leave the hospital alive. He has hung in there like a trooper. He kept saying "Don't worry Baby, it's not my time yet" AND "Do whatever you have to (said to the docs & nurses), I want to LIVE!" And here's the kinda "ironic" thing to this vampire-lovin' gal---he'd been (and still is, but not the same) really weak, and they couldn't keep his BP up, so they gave him 2 units of BLOOD, and he's almost totally acting like his old self! At least w/more energy to heal, talk, stay awake, eat, etc. It's almost like it helped his will to live (I know it just helped w/oxygenated hemaglobin, but hey, see the parallels here). As Spike said, "...it's all about the Blood..."
Thanks for a lovely ending to this story at a really needed time. The fic was enjoyed all along, and well-written.
~~K.~~
~~fyreburned~~
fyreburned@yahoo.com

YAY... happy ending all round. Do wonder what Spike did to Warren though *G*.

Loved the story and Buffy growing up in time.

Kathleen

Nice ending. Makes me smile. :)

I've enjoyed this story so much! Thanks for sharing!

Goodness what a dreadful Warren surprise - I should not be surprised with how this relationship is usually so filled with pain and tragic circumstances -  please don't make us wait too long for the next chapter -

LOVE this work -

you wonderfully set us up. very good chapter, thank you. very evil cliffie, thank you.

Of course, in Sunnydale when things are good it means something terrible is going to happen! And during the daylight? Knowing Spike he'll act first and think later if he's not dust first. Glad the next chapter is up...

OH, you evil evil nasty writer!!! LOL! So glad there's another chapter up already so I can see what happens next!!! Loved how Spike asked "Sure?"; that was so heartbreakingly uncertain... love it!

Oh, Wow---didn't see THAT coming!!!
Somehow I don't think it will be Willow destroying Warren in this one (unless the bullet gets Tara too? (but I believe you said that B&S were alone in the house except for Dawn this night...
Great fic...(another I almost didn't start but did due when the holiday season possibly slowed fic postings) Glad I did start it, tho'. Am anxiously awaiting the next chappie.

~~K.~~
~~fyreburned~~
fyreburned@yahoo.com

Oh God I DID NOT see that coming!

Really a sweet and loving chapter with a perfect morning after for the only time in memory for these two and then.....bam! Warren is going to wish he had Willow after him!

Kathleen

Oh my, I definitley didn't see that coming! Hope you'll keep the regular updates coming. Thanks!

Nice shocker after the sweet awakening!!

Holy Crap! Well I was gonna say what a cute chapter, now I don't know what to say... Still great story! and I really hope Warren get's his ass kicked for him

awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww MAN!!!!!!!


hurry hurry update soon!!!!!

sweet!

Yay! I suddenly wish to give Riley a big hug for forcing Buffy to face the truth! I love the fluff, and I think it was long overdue for this pair. The simplicity of it is absolutely perfect for a budding relationship between them. More please!

Ahhhhh; perfect; wonderful scene; taking things slow and steady, really learning about each other. *sigh*; Beautiful.

PERFECT and how it should have gone. Love your Buffy actually sussing things out even without the trombones.

Lovely...can just picture Xander and Willow though *G*. Hey with Spike in the picture maybe Warren wouldn't have killed Tara either...just a thought.

Kathleen

i just read all 1 chapters amd i just loved the fic!!! i cant wait for you to update!!!

so tender and sweet...I didn't want it to end! Anxiously awaiting more!

he he he he he finally! She got her head out of her ummmmm the sand ......... LOL Great chapter!

well, riley finally is of some use. good read, thank you.

Ok, I'm sure it can't be that easy, but for now I'm just going to bask! I loved every bit of this chapter from Buffy's realization that she'd been leading Spike on for weeks, to the Riley bashing (literally even), all the way up to that perfect ending! Wondering what's next for Spike and New Buffy.

I can almost see the fight that Sam and Riley had because he showed how jealous he was of Buffy and Spike being together. Because, really, the last thing a wife wants to see is that her husband is still mooning over his ex. I think the Finn's need to rethink living in Sunnydale, cause at this rate Riley won't live out the week.

"Always"??? :D Fantabulous!!!!

At last!!! Swoony lovely.

WOW VERY COOL! I just kinda ran across this story and got sucked in! can't wait for MORE!!!!!

Awesome, awesome chapter! Buffy in touch with her feelings, being honest with Spike! And kicking Riley's ass! Always a bonus! Can't wait for more!

Wow, what a great chapter! Can't wait for more!

Nice bit of a wake up. I hope she doesn't change her mind in the morning cause I doubt Spike can go through this tug of love again.

Riley was always an ass and you managed to show enough of it to nail the scene.

Kathleen

Awwww - yay for Riley. LOL

"'I was an idiot. I’d like to blame the alcohol but, well…I’m sure part of it was just me.'"

My favorite line so far :-)

Buffy is a very dense girl! She's admitted her feelings to more than one person and her jealous behavior made it that much more clear. Yet she's still so hesitant and blind that she's not realizing this tentative friendship along with her recent behavior is probably giving Spike more hope than he ever had when they were just sleeping together. She is just so very frustrating! Loving the quick updates! Keep it up!

ARGH!!! Spike, what are you doing??? Let her talk!!! Great chapter; love that Buffy realizes what a great guy Spike can be; cute about him only talking about Buffy while chatting with Nina! Can't wait for more; please update again soon!

Okay Buffy stop being an idiot now. You've done the right thing by going back to the friendship and building a relationship with Spike but now would be the time (pretending all the nastiness never happened) to move to the next level anyway. Don't torture the poor boy in the interests of doing right by him! LOL

Nina has it SO right. What a cock up they can make of a perfectly matched, attracted pair!

Kathleen

I love this story and I love that Buffy is trying to do right by Spike. But, was she always this stupid with boys/men? I know that Angel messed her head/heart up, but she always seems to be saying/doing the wrong thing when she interacts with Spike??? Loved the update, even if Buffy hurt Spikes feelings again. :(

Silly, stubborn Buffy. When will she learn? Loved the update, looking forward to more soon!

They certainly don't make things easy for themselves!

They certainly don't make things easy for themselves!

that was a fun read, thank you.

OH Buffy stop fighting it so hard! You know what you really want so take it!

Nice update. Good to see Buffy a bit shaken at the idea of Spike moving on.

Kathleen

Love this chapter! As usual, Buffy and alcohol are unmixy things. Then again, jealous Buffy is kind of adorable with her vulnerability and sulking. Wonder how much she'll remember and how she'll feel about it in the morning?

What a gent! sighs

Loved jealous Buffy! It's good for her, no?
I'm enjoying your story very much and as always, look forward to your regular updates!

I do wonder how Buffy is going to react to her memories in the morning. I know when Spike stopped trying to kill Buffy a lot of people decided he just wanted to sleep with her instead, or maybe before finishing her. It was nice to show Spike being given the opportunity to take advantage with sex and backing off. The little bit about being able to sew and following fashion advice from Dawn added to the chapter without being too overt. Very nice.

Loved Spike as a gentlemen; but Buffy needs to decide is Spike a friend or more; she can't keep going hot and cold on him! Awesome chapter; please more?? Please soon??

sweet read, thank you. dawn is so on.

I'm enjoying the simmering!

Stupid Riley trying to make Buffy feel bad and guilty! Love that Buffy thinks of Spike as family and hope that Dawn can eventually get through to her about her feelings for Spike. Keep the updates coming!

See THIS is how they were headed before Marti decided to make a carthesis of the relationship to purge her own demons! They were on this track. Nice you have them back on it!

Love the dinner party and Buffy NOT making excuses about her own right to chose.

Kathleen

Oh, I sssoooo hope Dawn is right!!! LOL! I really enjoy this story; it makes me feel all schmoopy!! Can't wait for another update; I loved how B dealt with R's questions; where the hell does he get off?? Please update again soon!

Sweet chapter, loved the interaction between Dawn, Buffy and Spike. Thanks again for the regular updates! I hope to see more soon!

she has to do something about that willpower. fun read, thank you.

Phew that was hot!

I always love a good Buffy and Spike sparring scene. Love the awkwardness and blushing! And the Finns are moving to Sunnydale? Nice twist! Glad Buffy is still on her new path but hope she realizes her "relationship" with Spike was about more than she's allowed herself to admit soon!

ARGH! You are a cruel, cruel woman!!! To leave it there; to go SOOOOO close, and then back away! You tease! LOL! Really great chapter; I know I've said it before, but I really like how you're dealing with S6; no magical potions, memory spells, or anything like that, just Buffy realizing that she's acting badly, and making attempts to improve it. Please update again soon!

Good thing the Finn duo didn't see the sparring (or most of the Scoobies for that matter)....that little chip not recogizing Buffy might not sit well under those circumstances.

YAY Anya and the straightforward comment. SO true!

Kathleen

darn you Annya!

they must have known buffy was there. gas is not going to work on spike. the spike buffy coversations are fun.

The Finns need to leave, please.

Sounds like the Finns were trying to set something up. I wonder what was in that gas? A hallucinogen or something more normal?

Nice simple chapter full of pleasant Buffy and Spike exchanges! Glad Riley at least had the sense to look guilty b/c we all know that wasn't entirely accidental. Looking forward to more!

Happy that this updated so soon, though it's a shame Riley and Sam are just throwing out hints of what they're up to, not revealing an evil or self-righteous scheme. I wonder if Riley is jealous of Spike or just possessive of Buffy not seeing a vampire? Whichever, I can't wait for him to learn what a pissed Slayer is like! Besides, doesn't he want to know what she meant when she said she'd died? Maybe even run a few tests on her to learn more about it?
Looking forward to more, and Buffy going protective over Spike!

Riley IS an idiot! Spike doesn't HAVE to breathe...what did he think his gas would do? LOL. I MUCH prefer this encounter to the on on screen. Got a feeling the soldier boy is planning something nasty. Buffy shouldn't leave Spike "unguarded" at this point!

Good update.
Kathleen

Awesome chapter; absolutely love the real conversations that are taking place b/n B & S; it's so nice to see; and what were the Finns up to?? Please update again soon!

Great update, glad to see Buffy not feeling it necessary to defend choices where Spike is concerned. Thanks so much for the regular updates, I'm looking forward to more!

sweet read, thank you. doubt we seen the last of sam and riley.

A lovely moment for the girls.

Awww, that was really a feel good chapter. Yes, there was grieving, but there was this whole sense of family and support. Glad to see Buffy including Spike and acknowledging his place in the lives of the Summers women!

Great chapter.

Oh, I loved the scene b/n B & D; I never understood why the show basically ignored their relationship; B loved her sister enough to die for her, but ignores her for the next two years??? WTF? Anyway, I really love the way you're rewriting S6, thanks very much! Please update again soon!

Loved the update...funny & sweet. Thanks

Good chapter. Dawn and Spike obviously still feel Buffy's death, even though she's back, and I like the small reunion between the sisters over their mother and ice cream. I also liked the easy way Spike and Dawn acted around each other.
I wonder just what the Finns are up to. I hope to see more of them, especially if it involves Riley coming up short next to Spike, even in little things like being with Dawn. I wonder if Sam is going to learn about Riley's old vamp fetish? Looking forward to more and loving the sweet way Spike and Buffy are getting closer.

Got a feeling the Finns are still an issue just as Buffy does. Sniffle.

Lovely bonding at Joyce's grave, very believable. I always thought Buffy should be told of how Spike behaved while she was dead. Glad you had parts pop up here.

Kathleen

that was a much better reunion. thank you. loved the dialogue.

Nicely barbed quips.

I was wondering how much of canon you were going to keep. I think this is a great set of emotional wrenches (married Riley and the anniversary of Joyce's death) to throw into the life of "new" Buffy to see how well she can handle it. Hoping we get to see an emotional interaction between the Summers sisters next chapter!

Oh, how sad. It's the anniversary of Joyce's death? And Dawn has gone alone to the cemetery at night? Hard to believe that she grew up in Sunnydale, isn't it?

Got a feeling Dawn is somewhere dangerous as in cemetery...Joyces grave maybe?

Typical of Buffy to be ashamed of Spike in face of Riley/Sam but so glad she protected Spike and stood up for him even to Riley.

Kathleen

Great update, interesting to see the arrival of the Finn's. Can't wait for more soon!

Ok, I liked that reunion with Riley MUCH better than the one in the show!!! I'm assuming that B forgot the 1 year anniversary of her mother's death? Of course she forgot; hasn't had anything to deal with lately, has she? Awesome chapter, can't wait for more!

thank heaven for dawn. good chapter, thank you.

About time Buffy realized that!!! That Spike's a good man, I mean! Can't wait to see what happens next; please update again soon!!!

First of all, thank you so very much for 2 chapters in one day! I love Dawn when she gets all wise beyond her years during talks with Buffy. "Maybe he deserves you." That was a great line to get Buffy thinking!

Just got caught up. I am enjoying this story and Buffy trying to learn and grow. Looks like they all are. Nicely done.

Yes, Dawn needs to remind Buffy that Spike is good (for the most part) and deserving.

Kathleen

Thanks for the treat of an extra chapter! I'm loving this story & glad you're sharing it with us!

buffy is getting confused again. love it.

Very excited that Anya and Xander actually got married! I always felt like Buffy needed to know that people could be in love and end up happy, at least for a while. Love the Spuffy dancing! But poor Buffy still thinking that she's hurting Spike by showing she has any kind of feelings towards him. Onto the next chapter...

She is such a relationship retard.

*Sob!* Poor Spike; although I'm glad Buffy is trying to keep things at a platonic level until she gets her head on straight, I still miss Spike smoochies!!! LOL! Great chapter; can't wait for more! Glad to see A & X wedding carried off without a hitch; please update again soon!

Poor Buffy, so desperate for *someone* to get a happily ever after that she just refuses to see the impending Xander/Anya implosion.

I think I may be in love with this Spuffy! The way they are with each other is just so normal, and natural, and easier than they would normally let it be. Love how Nina has just a hint of Cordy about her and how Buffy gets to be all normal girl for a while. Can't wait for the wedding!

Nice, a very nice smooth shift to a new gear in their relationship. Lovely story of what might have been. Thanks!

Thanks so much for the quick update! I'm loving this story! Can't wait for more!

Awesome chapter; loved the phone flirting b/n B & S; can't wait for more; please update again soon!

poor Buffy - if she wants to change first thing she needs to do is learn to see some hard truths - 

Always found it somewhat curious how easily Buffy could fall into violence and abusive behavior in the series - while it worked great as a plot device for Buffy-Spike relationship - her quick resort to violent behavior was always something that I very much disliked.

Not very many stories that start with the premise of her making the decided choice to change her behavior right from the start - look forward to seeing how this all turns out -

buffy definitely has to work on accepting constructive criticism. very good chapter, thank you.

We all knew it couldn't be as easy as Buffy wanted it to be! And if she was gonna have a lapse, it had to be with Spike... maybe it was the UST getting to her. Maybe Spike's forgiveness, support, and understanding will finally convince Buffy that he really does love her.

I'm glad Spike let her know he wasn't going to take the abuse at first. He shouldn't let her get comfortable with hitting him, at the same time it makes sense it would take time to break old habits. He just needs to understand that she can't get away with that kind of thing.

Thanks so much for the regular updates, I'm really enjoying this story and looking forward to more soon!

I'm starting to think she needs counseling. Although it would be pretty hard to get anything out of it if she couldn't talk about being dead or what she does as a calling to make violence her first response. Maybe an anger management course.

God, I love a sweet and understanding Spike; great chapter; can't wait to read more; please update again soon!

another step in the right direction. good read, thank you.

Love the best friend communication here! They clearly both miss th way they used to be and they're trying to support one another. Reminds me of a much younger Buffy and Willow. And did I catch a slight implication that if Buffy did have her head in the right place things would be different?

Wow, Buffy making a correct relationship decision and sticking to it. Not to mention her friends allowing her to stick to it. I'm impressed.

Good chapter, I definitely liked the interaction between Buffy and Willow, since the show really stopped with the talks between the two.

really like this buffy. good read, thank you.

Yay for super honest Buffy who's strong enough to stand up to her friends! She's the Buffy I always wished the real Buffy would be. Loving the easiness between Buffy and Spike, it's a good start to a new beginning!

Glad that Dawn hasn't lost her protective instincts. Hey, Xander almost seems to be growing up, so maybe he can think more clearly on the subject of his wedding. I love what Buffy and Spike are going through, but I'm expecting an ambush to pop up any time now, since things are going well. Good story and the dialogue is perfect for all the characters. Good luck with the rest!

Lovely chapter, good to see Buffy owning up to her mistakes. Can't wait for more! Thanks so much for sharing your story!

This is a much nicer Buffy, but she still sounds real; this is like the Buffy that was able to face unpleasant truths throughout the earlier seasons, before death and everyone messed with her head. I really like the banter b/n S & B, too. Please update again soon!

another fitting chapter title. starting is easy, continuing maybe be a tad harder. very good read, thank you.

I like that Buffy wants to start living differently and finally deal with things. But shouldn't being a new Buffy also include being honest with her friends at least about who really hurt Spike if not about her "relationship" with him? And if they're all such good friends shouldn't they have noticed how bad things were for Buffy especially if Dawn noticed how bitchy she's been? Anyway, excited to see more Buffy changes!

Great chapter, good to see Buffy taking responsibility. More soon, please.

That Xander asked about Spike because he thinks the vampire looked trashed makes a big impression. It might sound mean, but I want the Scoobies to learn it was Buffy and Xander to realize Spike took it when he could have fought back, and tried to cover for the Slayer, and is now willing to not 'shag' her to see her happy.
I'm a sucker for endings that leaves all the Scoobies together! Great story, branching off at such a crucial point that's passed over in the show as just another event in the bigger picture. I hope to read more.

Excellent start, I like your take on things much better. Hope to see more soon!

your title says it all. very good read, thank you.

Nicely written. I think you let Buffy off the hook too easy though. She needs to suffer and stew.

I like this Buffy! After everything they've been through it makes sense for her to suddenly realize the pain she was inflicting on him (not just physical) and want to make it right. And so perfect for her to realize that she doesn't deserve him!

THat was so nice. I wish they'd done it that way on the show.