Closure by Eowyn315

Good read. Thanks. :-)
05/10/2010 04:45 pm
Chapter 24         
 

Aisalynn
01/30/2009 03:12 am
Chapter 24         

Wonderful story. It was really well written and I thought it could have seemlessly fit into the series. I laughed when I read your author's note about watching Veronica Mars, because I just finished watching the series, and I immediately thought of it when I read the story summary. :)

olinka
12/17/2008 08:51 am
Chapter 24         
Very nice. I loved your focus on forgiveness - this is something people rarely talk about, let alone do...
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

Deb
11/12/2008 09:58 am
Chapter 24         
Great job on taking a very scary situation and incorporating it into Buffyverse.  You did a great job of going through the difficulties of coping and still made it a Spuffy fic.  Really excellent writing, this seemed like it could have actually been incorporated into the series.  Thanks for sharing your fic.
Thank you for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

10/23/2008 06:42 am
Chapter 24         
I loved every single second I spent reading this story!  Congrats on your marvelous characters--you could have written for the show because you had the dialog so perfect for Willow and Xander. These are two characters whose voices most writers seem to struggle with, but you nailed them!
You also taught all of us a lot psychologically about what a rape victim goes through emotionally.  So this was educational as well as fun and fulfilling.
Aww, thank you!! I think I got just as much of an education as the rest of you, since I had no first-hand experience on what it was like. That all came from much research and wonderful, brave readers who shared their own experiences in the comments. I'm so glad you enjoyed the story! Thanks for the review!

TXJMFAN
10/22/2008 08:47 pm
Chapter 24         
Don't know how I missed the last few chapters of this one.  Love this story. Such a beautiful story about the power of love & forgiveness.
Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

analise
10/18/2008 11:31 am
Chapter 24         
I liked it.  Lots of drama, too many f words but a good plot and many twists and turns.  It must have been hard to write at times dealing with such a painful topic... even imagining it brings such (all I can think of is) mourning and loss inside.  But it was entirely heart felt and it made me like the characters even more, even Riley wasn't the jerk that people usually write him to be.  Thanks.
Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

10/18/2008 04:58 am
Chapter 24         
I loved this story.  It was done so well.  Thanks for the entertaining read.
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it. :)

Angie
10/17/2008 01:51 pm
Chapter 24         

I think that was a great way to end a wonderful story, this one will always be one of my favorites.

Thanks for the review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it!

Dreylin
10/16/2008 05:03 pm
Chapter 24         
Nice ending.  I enjoyed the story very much.
Thanks! Glad you liked it!

sister cuervo
10/16/2008 03:00 pm
Chapter 24         
 Devastating and poignant with a great touch of reality.  Excellent writing.
Aww, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it. :)

10/16/2008 06:58 am
Chapter 24         
 YAY!!!!
Well done. =D
Thank you!

goddess_hecate
10/16/2008 12:35 am
Chapter 24         
Beautiful!  Thank you so much for sharing!
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

10/15/2008 09:34 pm
Chapter 24         
that was usch a perfect ending.  Just as it was about to go all sugary, Buffy decides to go kill something.  GREAT!!!
I really loved this story, even though I got confused and a little mad in the middle. 
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

not amused
10/15/2008 09:18 pm
Chapter 24         
Ahhh, that really was a gem, thank you for sharing. Good to learn I was right to trust  in  you putting up a storyline that deserves the title closure. Weird that mixing a coming-of-age novel with an adventure story can turn out to be something harmonious and captivating.
This is the final curtain for the makeshift penname I felt compelled to use when some haters tried to bash you. Karma will get them eventually, but it is funny how they turned me from silent freeloader into open admirer - certainly not what they went for.

not amused
10/15/2008 09:18 pm
Chapter 24         
Ahhh, that really was a gem, thank you for sharing. Good to learn I was right to trust  in  you putting up a storyline that deserves the title closure. Weird that mixing a coming-of-age novel with an adventure story can turn out to be something harmonious and captivating.
This is the final curtain for the makeshift penname I felt compelled to use when some haters tried to bash you. Karma will get them eventually, but it is funny how they turned me from silent freeloader into open admirer - certainly not what they went for.
Aww, thanks! Glad to see I've earned readers' trust (just like Spike will earn Buffy's!). I'm certainly happy that you've come out of the woodwork, so at least the trolls did something good, right?

10/15/2008 07:38 pm
Chapter 24         

LOVE IT! LOVE IT!

That was a great story! It's late and I was just looking for something to pass the time, didn't expected the new and LAST chap! Wonderful story with a wonderful and truthfull end! I'm eager for your next fic!

Thanks for the review! I'm so glad that you enjoyed it. No new fic in the works, but feel free to read this one over again while you're waiting, lol. ;)

10/15/2008 06:44 pm
Chapter 24         
Can't have been all Spike's fault on the tape then!  That's good to know.  I like to think things work out between them after such a rocky start.  They've got a lot to get over.
Yeah, it happened pretty much the way we saw it in the flashback, meaning a lot of it was Buffy coming on to a hesitant Spike, so she certainly can't blame it entirely on him. Thanks for the review!

10/15/2008 04:24 pm
Chapter 24         
are u wrting an epilogue????

great great story by the way!!! dont pay attentions to those haters, they have no idea what they are talking aboutl.. they want fluffy fluffy spuffy, and we know how boring that is :)
Nope, no epilogue. What you see is what you get. :) Glad you enjoyed it!

10/15/2008 04:01 pm
Chapter 24         
And who says Slayers have no romance in their souls. I mean, what an incredibly romantic line "You wanna go kill something?"
LOL, it's certainly the way to Spike's heart. :)

Cate
10/15/2008 09:56 am
Chapter 24         
Aww. A good end to a great story! You finished it very well without it being all corny and too "puppy dogs and Christmas" lol.
Although I would have really like to have read Buffy watching the tape and her reactions but I guess you had to do it like that to build the tension to the big finish. I'm just sad its over!! :( Well Done!
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. The reason I went with a fade to black on Buffy watching the tape is because we already know what happened - we saw it all in the flashback. The only reaction of Buffy's that really matters is that watching the tape gave her a sense of closure and brought her to a place of forgiveness, and I think all that comes through in her conversation with Spike. I started out writing Buffy's reaction to the tape, but it wasn't really revealing anything new.

10/15/2008 08:59 am
Chapter 24         
Aww, it's the end :-( But what a lovely end. I'm glad she found the strength to forgive him and very glad she finally got some closure. A brilliant story from you once again, Eowyn, and I'll be waiting anxiously for the next one from you.
I know, I'm a little sad to see it end, too... don't have anything else in the works right now, but I'm happy to hear that you enjoyed this one! Thanks for the review. :)

missus_grace
10/15/2008 08:08 am
Chapter 24         
Great ending - Taking it slow is probably best, but I'm glad she gave Spike a chance.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

10/15/2008 04:55 am
Chapter 24         

The End - and I like your ending so much , gives all your readers the opportunity to talk over with themselves how she comes to her choice and understanding  from seeing that tape.   Bring able to forgive transgressions and pain caused by the very people who you love and trust is probably the greatest  expression of a deep and abiding love. 

I also liked very much how you ended her relationship with Riley - it felt good to see that both could step away with a sense of being able to move beyond all their problems - he does "come through" for her when she needed him.   I always think it's better to try and forgive people, to gain knowledge from a terrible experience -

Spike better be damn sure that he knows just what a great gift Buffy has given him - willing to let him back into her life and her in his - that big.

Thank you so very much for bringing us this wonderful story - it was really great reading such a different Spuffy perspective - Well Done! 

You know, initially, I thought I would write the whole scene of Buffy watching the tape, what she was thinking, how she was reacting to each development. But in the end, that seemed unnecessary - we know what happened from the flashback, and all we really need to know about Buffy's reaction, we can glean from her conversation with Spike.

As for Riley, I wanted him to come out of this as a good guy. Both in the fic and on the show, I think he's a decent, upstanding guy who makes some mistakes. But in this kind of situation, I can't see him doing anything other than the right thing. Plus, it's good for Buffy to have one relationship (besides Spike) where the guy doesn't abandon her.

Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed the story!

Mark Evans
10/15/2008 04:30 am
Chapter 24         
Thank you so much for sharing this story with us :) .  I've enjoyed every chapter, even the rough ones, lol.  Again, thanks.
Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you enjoyed it!

Kate
10/15/2008 02:33 am
Chapter 24         
I really enjoyed this story.  It was so well written and developed.  I love that you took one of the most interesting VM storylines and really tailored it to "Buffy."  I think my favorite twist is this last part - that Buffy actually got to see what happened that night between her and Spike whereas Veronica only ever had Duncan's word (not that he was lying, but she would never know for herself and those doubts would always be there).  Thanks for posting.
Thanks! I think as the story went on, it drifted further away from VM, but who wants to read the same plot over again anyway? The whole experience seems to have had a much different effect on Buffy than it did on Veronica, but ultimately, I think Buffy will be a better and stronger person for it, so maybe that's for the best.

All4Spike
10/15/2008 02:19 am
Chapter 24         
The tentative forgiveness and recognition of healing still to come while they mend their relationship makes a very fitting ending. Thank you.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

10/15/2008 01:35 am
Chapter 24         
Thanks for sharing such a fabulous story! I was worried at times, but you came through in the end with a beautiful, believable happy end for our couple!
Thank you! I'm glad you stuck with it, and glad you enjoyed it!

Angie
10/08/2008 02:12 pm
Chapter 23         
Great update
Thanks!

All4Spike
10/08/2008 01:13 pm
Chapter 23         
If I was Buffy I'd be consumed with rage that Forrest was going to be getting away with it. IMHO It's true Spike contributed to the situation, but he wasn't responsible for Buffy being drugged, her behaviour when she came on to him or Forrest's reaction to seeing them together. All he did was take advantage of a situation that was not of his making. OK, so he made a mistake, but everyone makes mistakes and Buffy manages to forgive everyone else for doing Bad Things to her, so why not Spike? He is so genuinely penitent.
I love that you've brought more chipped vamps into the picture, I'm surprised they didn't on the show. I expect they rationalised it that all the others perished in the big fight in 'Primeval'.
More please.
everyone makes mistakes and Buffy manages to forgive everyone else for doing Bad Things to her, so why not Spike?

I think she'll get there eventually, but Spike broke her trust in a way no one she cared about has, so it'll take some time for her to work through it. Thanks for the review!

WhollySpiked
10/08/2008 12:20 am
Chapter 23         
This story, as always, is amazing. I almost missed this update because I usually check Vampire's Kiss where you haven't posted it yet, but something compelled me to come to BSV. I'm really looking forward to the resolution. If you don't mind, please dont forget to update Vampire's Kiss. Fantastic story. You're a great writer.
Yeah, I usually update BSV a day before VK... I post so many places, it takes about three or four days to get updates up everywhere. Thanks for the review!

10/07/2008 06:31 pm
Chapter 23         
Damn, I'm addicted to this fic! I couldn't go a day without looking for update and here it is! Great job! I love your Buffy(and me loving Buffy?!-that says a lot)! Hope, she forgives him. I love Spike(now and forever) and he deserves it. But if I had to be honest I'm not sure your Spike deserves forgivness but I stil hope he gets it!
Waiting for more!
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying it - and I'm always happy to convert someone to Buffy-love. :)

Amaya
10/07/2008 12:49 pm
Chapter 23         
Please, update soon because I like the story and I want to know how it ends.
Well, just one more chapter to go!

Deb
10/07/2008 10:37 am
Chapter 23         
Good progression to the story.  Kinda sad for Spike right now as he's longing for Buffy.    Looking forward to updates.
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it!

10/07/2008 09:55 am
Chapter 23         
I liked the fact that there are other chipped vamps about - more believable than Spike being the only one. 

But Spike and Buffy's situation is very difficult.  Once trust is betrayed, things are never the same again.
Thanks! I thought it'd be fun to have some Initiative escapees on the loose. :) Glad you liked it.

10/07/2008 08:51 am
Chapter 23         
Ohh, what's she going to do? Can't wait to see. Her reunion of sorts with Spike was so painful and bittersweet. Beautiful writing, Eowyn (as always).
Thanks so much! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

10/07/2008 08:14 am
Chapter 23         
“I just… I feel like I’ve lost something, like there’s a piece of me that’s missing, that’s just gone because of him…”

This is just a perfect, at least for me, description of how all that love and emotional connection between turned into such a tragic condition.  It's the lack of trust and deep emotional scars that Spike and his passion, along with hers, left behind.  Their only hope is that Buffy can look at her contribution to how things happened that night, try to accept and understand how they both played contributed to that horrible night.   I don't offer this as an excuse for Spike's behavior, but only as a possible way for her to try and understand and maybe eventually be able to forgive him. 

With deep love, forgiveness, sorrow, pain and joy and peace all are vital parts -
Thanks for the review! I do think there's some chance for Buffy and Spike, if Buffy can work out her issues. Glad you liked it!

10/07/2008 05:39 am
Chapter 23         
I can't wait for MORE!!!!
Thanks for the review!

Mark Evans
10/07/2008 04:49 am
Chapter 23         
I'm glad to see an update to this fic, it's definitely one of my faves :D .  I love the pace and progression of the story, and can't wait to see how everything turns out.  Thanks for sharing.
Thanks for the review! I'm so glad that you're enjoying it!

10/07/2008 04:22 am
Chapter 23         
Happy to see you're back - nice little cliffie!
Thank you! Glad you liked it. :)

Buffyconvert
08/15/2009 01:59 am
Chapter 22         
     O.K. I'm hangin' out my shingle -  counseling session for demons who have been rebuffed in  love with humans. Especially if they look yummy.
Sounds like a plan. :)

Cate
10/15/2008 09:35 am
Chapter 22         
:(:( My good lord you made me cry. I usually all for jumping on the Spike bandwagon, but I'm am so teary for Buffy at the moment. You implement so much feeling into your writing, it's hard not to be empathetic for the poor girl!
Walsh is an utter bitch (but is that anything new? lol) and I can't believe that Forrest would get off that easy... there should be some Initiative gaol or something... meh my stupid musings. Anyways good chapter!
Aww, thank you! I do enjoy making people cry (uh, in a good way...). I'm glad you liked the chapter!

sirc
09/25/2008 06:34 pm
Chapter 22         
Great chapter
Thanks!

Not amused (once more)
09/22/2008 02:49 am
Chapter 22         
Thanks for the update, really impressive. Enjoy your trip.
After all that action this was once again an interesting and spot-on portrayal of Buffy's situation.
It must be a real blow that her rapist might get away with it, so it is good to see she opens up in that group counseling.
Her relationship with Spike - this will be difficult. That accusation was a bit over the top, but who could blame her ... Right now, I am not sure whether I want them to get back together.  They seem to love each other, but she is just not capable to forgive him right now. I really like your Buffy and I want her to get on with her life, whatever suits her.
For all those who hope for a Spuffy ending, I guess that final "No" could still be a "No, not yet" instead of  "No, never".
Thank you! I had a great time on vacation. I'm glad you're enjoying the story - we had a little break for the supernatural fun, but now it's back to the nitty gritty of a painful real-life kind of situation.

I don't know that Buffy is really accusing him of anything so much as just laying it all out there - if he hadn't been there, if none of that had happened between them, she wouldn't have been raped. It's not really his fault, since he couldn't predict Forrest's actions (nor is he responsible for someone else's decisions), but the cause and effect is surely  going to weigh on her mind.

And yeah, never say never. :) Thanks for the review!

Shiko
09/21/2008 02:48 pm
Chapter 22         
"no"??? That's it?!? She just says no??? Oh my god, I can't take this. Honestly. I can't wait for her to forgive Spike and to get together with him, because he is so sorry and he is always making mistakes like this and je just never learns and regrets it afterwards... God, I need to go and read something fluffy and sappy right now.
Heh, the angst can be tough to handle sometimes. A good dose of PWP should fix you right up. :) Thanks for the review!

09/21/2008 08:55 am
Chapter 22         
You're breaking my heart here. **sniffles**
Aww, I'm sorry... *hands you a tissue*

09/21/2008 01:01 am
Chapter 22         
Fantastic update - I think this must be one of my favorite parts of your entirely excellent work.  Everything seems like it would have happened in real life, not just in Buffyverse FF.

And once again, I know all your readers appreciate your regular updates - it makes the reading experience so much more effective.  Sure wish some of the other writers could do the same -

Excellent way to end -
Aww, thank you! That's so sweet. I am striving for real-ness with this fic - even though it's a supernatural setting, what happened to Buffy was a very human crime.

Glad you appreciate the regular updates, though you may have spoken too soon, lol. But I'm back from vacation now, so the last few chapters will be up shortly.

09/20/2008 08:33 pm
Chapter 22         
 Noooooooo!
It's not over yet...

09/20/2008 11:42 am
Chapter 22         
Not much chance of a rapprochement then?
Not right now, it seems... given time, who knows?

goddess_hecate
09/20/2008 07:14 am
Chapter 22         
Heartbreaking!  Beautiful, but heartbreaking!  I loved it! Can't wait to read more when you get back.  Have a great trip!
Thanks, the trip was lovely! Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

09/20/2008 04:13 am
Chapter 22         
*cries and hugs them both* Fabulous chapter. Gah...what a situation...and they are both hurting so much.

And I'd say that I can't believe Forrest is gonna get away with it, except that, yeah, I really can believe it. *sigh*
Yeah... that's unfortunately the way too many rapes end, with the rapist getting away with it. Poor Buffy... and poor Spike, too. Thanks for the review!

09/20/2008 04:12 am
Chapter 22         
 she should forgive him its fair
I don't think we can blame her for needing time...

Buffyconvert
08/15/2009 01:50 am
Chapter 21         

     I would have been too scared to let anyone in the Initiative treat my wounds! I just would have left & let Riley get over himself.

     Ah, this Giles is infinately more sensible than the canon would allow.

     Poor Spike;  if he were human, his alcoholism would've left him brain-damaged long ago.

Hee! Very true about Spike. Good thing he's a vampire. :)

10/18/2008 04:27 am
Chapter 21         
It's no wonder this story was nominated all over the place and has won awards.  Each chapter is better than the last. 
Aww, thank you! I appreciate the kind words. :)

Cate
10/15/2008 09:26 am
Chapter 21         
Poor Buffy. I am actually glad you haven't made her forgive him yet. That girl's got some stuff to work through first!
I think Spike getting majorly pissed was so like him lol :D
I see you have taken a break from you're constant cliff-hangers... I kinda miss them lol :P
Haha, you want more cliffhangers? I think most readers were ready to strangle me for leaving them hanging. :) Thanks for the review!

sirc
09/25/2008 06:26 pm
Chapter 21         
Great chapter
Thanks!

ya_lublyu_tebya
09/17/2008 08:23 pm
Chapter 21         
Lovely lovely update- if very heartbreaking. Hope you enjoy your break.
Thank you! So glad you enjoyed it!

09/17/2008 04:54 pm
Chapter 21         
Ha! It's raining here right while I'm writing! LOVE THE CHAPTER! Is there a chance for Buffy to go out, see Spike, be all worried about him and all that?! Yeah, I know I want a lot but I'm a sucker for hard storylines and unbelivable happy endings!
Heh... I was going for more of a "ships passing in the night" motif, where they were so close, and feeling much the same, and yet never realized it. Thanks for the review!

kw
09/17/2008 05:25 am
Chapter 21         
good update
Thanks!

09/16/2008 02:32 pm
Chapter 21         
What a great chapter! I love Giles reaction.  Poor Spike!! Love the reference to the rain, and how it can match a mood....
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter!

09/16/2008 08:35 am
Chapter 21         
Misery loves company!  At least Spike didn't dust.
Yes, thank goodness for the rain, eh?

09/16/2008 06:14 am
Chapter 21         

Have a good trip to DC -

Great Update - as wrong as Spike was to have sex with Buffy, I can't help feeling sorry for him - what a "worst self-enemy" he can be.  Glad that Buffy finally spoke to Giles about everything - and was a pleasant surprise to see that Giles can see some good coming from Spike in all this. 

Very Much liked the fountain memories section -

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it. I do think it's okay to feel sorry for Spike - what he did was wrong, but he obviously regrets hurting her, and we've seen much worse than that in this fic, from people with souls.

09/16/2008 05:12 am
Chapter 21         
Good chapter - everything fit together so beautifully - with the rain a grey wash over everything, running it all together.
I (think I) really understood Buffy's reaction when she met Spike.  It seems to me that she wasn't really rejecting him - more like she couldn't deal with him, on top of everything else from the day.  When you're that exhausted adn overwhelmed, even somebody you'd normally WANT to see isn't particularly a welcome sight on your doorstep.  Add having just had a fight with said someone to the mix and being told to go home seems pretty tame.
I hope DC was good & you have fun on vacation.
You're definitely right - I don't think Buffy's quite ready to forgive Spike, but if he'd picked a different time to approach her, I'm sure he'd have gotten a better reaction from Buffy (and perhaps one that wouldn't send him on a spiral of depression and drinking). Thanks for the review!

Mark Evans
09/16/2008 03:54 am
Chapter 21         
What a sad angsty story :( .  I usually don't do angst, but I really love this fic, and I love your writing :D .  I like where you've taken this story, and I can't wait to see how it ends.
Heh, I definitely do angst. :) I'm glad you're enjoying this one! Thanks for the review!

09/16/2008 03:16 am
Chapter 21         
So I was going to allow myself to be detured by the rape warning, but I happend to see some of the less than plesant reviews that had been left and they made me so mad that I felt I had to read.  Boy, am I glad I did!  It's dead brillant!  Seriously, I read 21 chapters in a day (if only I could finish my school reading that fast ^_^;)!  Thank you so much,  Terrible Story, you're comments helped me stumble onto this gem!  Thanks so much for sharing with us Eowyn! I can't wait for your next update!
Heh, funny that the negative reviews make you more interested... I don't think that's what s/he was going for. :) In any case, I'm glad you gave it a shot, and so happy to hear that you've enjoyed it! Thanks for the review!

Buffyconvert
08/15/2009 01:38 am
Chapter 20         
     Good thing I don't have Slayer powers. I would've killed Forrest and Graham, maybe Riley, too. Jerks!
Buffy's a good girl - she's got restraint. ;)

Cate
10/15/2008 09:16 am
Chapter 20         
Woo it's been a while since I've read this fic and you've updated a lot! Yay! I'm in the middle of my HSC (like an Australian SATs I guess) and I don't have alot of time to read. Really good chapter. So it was Forrest... I guessed right, however I'm thinking there is more to it. Go Graham he saved the day! On to the next chapter!
Yep, I went and finished it while you weren't looking. :) Thanks for the review, and good luck on your exam!

09/14/2008 05:56 am
Chapter 20         
 That last line was perfect.  Now I have to go back and reread this again to see Forrest's reactions through the piece.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

09/13/2008 03:28 am
Chapter 20         
Oh i freaking loved this chapter please update again soon.
Thanks! Glad you liked it.

sirc
09/12/2008 09:51 pm
Chapter 20         
Well done
Thank you!

Aeryn
09/12/2008 07:16 pm
Chapter 20         
Grrrr, sometimes Buffy  can be too good.  She should have stomped on him and ensured he never did anything again.
Well, she could have done that... but Forrest is human, and her calling isn't meant to be used for vengeance or to take the law into her own hands; it's meant to protect people. I think killing him would be crossing a line for her, and I'm proud of her for not taking that step, no matter how tempting.

ya_lublyu_tebya
09/12/2008 06:35 pm
Chapter 20         
Wow, suprised by Graham's rescue. Good stuff there.Can't believe Forrest set the demons on them and THEN tried to shoot her. Deserves much more of an ass-kicking.
But he only tried to shoot her because the demons didn't kill her! So it was her own fault, really. ;) (Eeee, I really need to stop getting in Forrest's head...) Thanks for the review!

09/12/2008 05:26 pm
Chapter 20         
Smashing action-packed chapter!  Thank god for Graham!
Thanks for the review! I'm so glad you liked it. :)

09/12/2008 04:52 am
Chapter 20         
 great now the stuff with spike needs to be resolved i know she still loves him no matter what he kept from her
Thanks for the review! I'm sure we'll see how Buffy feels soon enough...

09/12/2008 03:22 am
Chapter 20         
Incredibly exciting chapter - glad Forrest is done for! Looking forward to what's coming next.
Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it! :)

09/12/2008 02:27 am
Chapter 20         
so it realy was forrest... what a... some friend he is... even if he was upset on riley's behalf... that turns into a bunch of bull when he goes and rapes his girlfriend! but how will spike and buffy make up...? cause they really have to, ya know. or else there would be no happy ending. loved the update!!!
Forrest has never seemed to like Buffy - and I don't think he's just upset that she's cheating on Riley. It's the fact that Spike's a vampire that makes it so unacceptable. Now, she's just as bad as an HST (he might have even thought of her that way before, given her Slayer abilities) so he sees what he's doing as completely different. As for Spike and Buffy... we'll just have to wait and see. :) Thanks for the review!

10/18/2008 04:06 am
Chapter 19         
More action.  I like.  I'm guessing there is even more to the story of what happened that night then what it looks like here.  Forest? Really?  There's more isn't there?
LOL, I think I conditioned everyone to expect more twists. So many readers questioned this one... Thanks for the review!

mockerofshoes
09/09/2008 07:55 pm
Chapter 19         
 Look! Now you made me late for work, having to read your new chapter! I 'm not even going to try to guess what the real turnout will be - I give up! I'll just have to keep an eye out for chapter 20. 
Mwahaha! I have succeeded in making my readers unproductive! *eg* Thanks for the review!

All4Spike
09/08/2008 03:11 am
Chapter 19         
I never did like that Forrest. Typical of Riley not to question Forrest's interpretation of Buffy's actions and total lack of sensitivity to her feelings and lack of trust in her.
Now for some fighty action....
Well, Riley DID question it - even after he first saw the tape, he was insisting it was rape. It wasn't until he started seeing Spike and Buffy together that he changed his mind...

Liza
09/07/2008 03:03 pm
Chapter 19         
Really enjoyed the pace of this chapter.  Revelations and action - fantastic!  
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it!

Cate
09/07/2008 01:32 pm
Chapter 19         

Hmm. Very interesting development. I very interested! I think I've guessed some stuff but knowing you and your crafty twists I'm most probably off... We'll just have to see. 
I just have to point out something that I keep forgetting to say every single time I review, which is, your character development is absolutely brilliant. For this type of story, you have been very smart in your character development, not to give too much away, yet still brilliantly developing recognisable characteristics. Well Done!

Hehe, I think I've had so many twists by now that people are overcompensating in their predictions this time. It's rather amusing to read some of them. :) Thank you so much for the compliments about the character development! I'm glad to hear that you're enjoying it.

09/07/2008 01:05 am
Chapter 19         
more twists! i love it. did forrest do it?? did we finally get the right guy? my mind is whirling!! but, dang. now i have to admit that though riley is retarded and i still hate him, he's not that big of a loser that he'd rape his girlfriend out of jealousy... but, w/e. :)
Nope, Riley's not a rapist. When I was plotting this story, I actually tried to make it work with Riley as the bad guy, and I just couldn't do it. :) Thanks for the review!

09/06/2008 11:09 pm
Chapter 19         
Forrest!!!!  What a swine. And now you've left us with a cliffhanger!  Aaaargh.
Last one, I promise! lol

Mark Evans
09/06/2008 11:09 pm
Chapter 19         
Aww man, the plot thickens.  I love the cliffhanger, but I can't wait to see what happens next.  I always love your writing, so thanks for the update :) .
Thank you! I'm so glad you enjoyed it! :)

09/06/2008 10:24 pm
Chapter 19         
well, I'm glad I don't have to visualize the Adam thing...
hmmm...  I wonder if Forrest was acting on orders from Maggie all this time...trying to get the Slayer in the facility to test her or something...
can't wait for more!
Ick, no Adam! Thanks for the review! :)

Cas
09/06/2008 09:50 pm
Chapter 19         
Of course it wasn't Forrest - how could he have held her down?  I have my own suspicions about that,  but I'll keep them to myself.   I do think that they might want to keep Buffy now they've got her captured.  Don't know why all the demons released though...
Well, Buffy was drugged, and the Initiative soldiers are somewhat enhanced, so that should even things out a bit... probably easier for one of them than a regular human.

09/06/2008 09:08 pm
Chapter 19         
Hi again. I was just paging thru your reviews and saw some pretty shocking things. :( Please, please continue to disregard these spiteful ignorant comments. Lot's of people (myself included) appreciate all the effort you put into sharing your ideas.

***And thanks for telling *terrible story* to F-off. :) 
Yeah, some people can be jerks, but don't worry, I'm not letting it affect the story. :) Thanks for the kind words!

09/06/2008 08:54 pm
Chapter 19         
Uh-oh, they walked right into that one. Forrest huh? I thought he was out with Riley all night? Could he be covering for someone else? but why!? Great chp, can't wait for the nxt installment. :)
Well, they were all called down to the Initiative, but it'd be hard to say that they were together the entire night - anyone could slip away for a little bit, and then come back like nothing had happened. Thanks for the review!

09/06/2008 08:35 pm
Chapter 19         

Excellent section on the dynamics of the Buffy-Riley relationship and trust issues - plus how you connect Spike's initial self-preservation fears and how the drug works - well done.

I'm still not convinced that Forrest is her rapist, if he is he was incredibly stupid, which The Initiative soldiers are not.  He would have known about the security cameras - he would have either been on duty and turned off camera when he saw Buffy and Spike or is possibly covering for someone else. 

I love your Buffy in this chapter and your treatment of Riley as well, he plays both the good guy and bad guy.  Miserable how he keeps tape info from Buffy and how he placed he own emotional needs first. 

Spike & Buffy, well being that I hate to see Spike turn to dust - glad that some time and things happen between before she saw that tape - he has a lot to make up for.

Thank you! I don't think we'll be seeing a dusty Spike :) but yeah, Buffy's gonna need some time to get over things. With Riley, I thought it was important that what he did is really no worse than what Spike did, because he's not meant to be the bad guy, so they end up on relatively equal footing. We get to see Riley redeeming himself right away - Spike, we'll have to wait and see.

09/06/2008 08:35 pm
Chapter 19         

09/06/2008 08:23 pm
Chapter 19         
 So it was forest well i always hated that guy anyway i gess rileys not that bad but he should have shown buffy the tape i hope she makes up with spike she should be with him he was just afriad of what she would say yes he shold have told her but he loves her isnt that enough
Thanks for the review!

10/18/2008 03:59 am
Chapter 18         
Had a feeling this is where this was going.  :)  

Still very well played and I'm enjoying this story very much.
Thanks for the review!

09/13/2008 03:23 am
Chapter 18         
OH my god...ohh this so does not look good for riley
Heh... what does he know?

09/05/2008 10:40 pm
Chapter 18         
Sorry - I just though of something horrible...
What if it was Adam that was coming into the room?  *shudder* 
Ugh... I can definitely tell you I am NOT going there...

09/05/2008 10:29 pm
Chapter 18         
SO, I wrote this whole thinkg in the last chapter, explaining my first review of that chapter...then my comptuer ate it.  *huff*
In as much of a nutshell as I am capable :) I basically said you should write the story that's in YOUR head, not what you think the readers want.  I also tried to explain that what upset me was not that Spike was intimate with Buffy, but that he didn't find some way to tell her.  He wanted what they did to be real, to be love, and probably loved it that she was trusting him, and was REALLY hoping that it would work out.  He should have known Buffy well enough to realize that she'd never let it go and would eventually find out, and that it might well destroy what he wanted so desperately.  SO, I was mad at Spike, and confused about what direction you had gone in.  But that doesn't mean I have revised my opinion that this is a fine story, and handles a difficult situation quite well.
Now I"m really confused about what's going on with Riley, adn why Buffy didn't tell him there was somebody after Spike and...well, let's just say I"m looking forward to the next chapter.
"He should have known Buffy well enough to realize that she'd never let it go and would eventually find out"

Hmm, not necessarily. Buffy had pretty much stopped pursuing the rapist back in chapter 11. She only started this investigation to help herself get over the rape, but it turned out that she'd found that healing with Spike. She felt like she was recovering, and she was happy - which was what she was really looking for. If Riley hadn't given her the shirt, I think she would've been satisfied to let the rape be in the past and move on with Spike.

"and that it might well destroy what he wanted so desperately."

Now, that I'd agree with... which is why he was afraid to tell her the truth, because he knew that telling her would almost certainly mean losing her. He could be honest and hated, or dishonest and loved. He took a gamble that maybe she'd never find out (and if it weren't for Riley meddling, she might not have), and he lost. It doesn't mean he loves her less. It does mean that he's selfish and dishonest - but he's a vampire, so that's pretty much to be expected.

09/05/2008 02:26 am
Chapter 18         
Like this work so much - wanted to read this chapter again - so many ways and people that could be involved with this.  Still think that Riley is such a huge jerk -

Great Ending:

“All this time, you knew who it was. How?”
Thanks! I'm so glad you enjoyed it enough to read it again. :)

kw
09/04/2008 06:48 am
Chapter 18         
another good cliffhanger
Thank you!

09/03/2008 05:11 am
Chapter 18         

So Riley has seen the tape? What are they showing it at the Sunnydale cineplex? Well Riley is a big A for not going straight to B. Can't wait to see how he gets out of this.

Ha! Well, you have to figure that if his best friends saw it, they'd probably want to let him know his girlfriend was sleeping with another guy...

09/03/2008 02:18 am
Chapter 18         
oh my gosh. riley walked in on buffy and spike and got jealous and raped buffy after spike left, didn't he?!? WHAT A....!!!!!!! monster! man! i thought i hated the guy beforehand.... ohhhhhh.... i am sooooooooo mad at him right now.... he totally needs to die. make it painful.
poor buffy!
Well, let's not jump to conclusions just yet. :) He'd have to be quite the actor to play it that cool with Buffy for so long if he'd raped her...

Mockerofshoes
09/03/2008 12:00 am
Chapter 18         

Ahhh! Riley. In the series, he never really struck me as the raping type... but maybe with the right provokation... Something tells me his nose is about to be broken... among other things!

He didn't strike me as that type in the series, either. He's more passive-aggressive than, well, violent-aggressive. Thanks for the review!

ya_lublyu_tebya
09/02/2008 09:01 pm
Chapter 18         
Oh dear. Hidden camera maybe? I feel so sick and sad for Buffy. Maybe she should go to the support group - might make things easier. Anyway, as always a brilliant update and I look forward to the next instalment.
Yeah, I think Buffy could definitely benefit from the support group. And yes, there was a security camera, and at least Graham and Forrest have seen the tape... Thanks for the review!

Not amused
09/02/2008 06:31 pm
Chapter 18         
I chose the name from my last review - it was inspired be some reviews then , not by your story. Maybe I have to change it if I review on a regular basis.
For today: Thank you for the great portrayal of Buffy's feelings. She trusted Spike and felt safe, it must hurt like hell to learn what he did to her. I hope she is strong. And, though I don't mind some Riley-bashing, I hope you don't take the easy way out and make him the Big Bad so Buffy turns to Spike as the lesser evil.  That would not be my idea of closure. Somehow I also don't think it's yours - count me in for the rest of the story.
Well, I don't like Riley-bashing... so make of that what you will. ;) Thanks for the review!

Bridget
09/02/2008 06:29 pm
Chapter 18         
Before I write the review for this chapter I just wanted you to know when I said fix this I meant Buffy and Spike and not the story.  Now onto my review.  This chapter is very interesting and I can't imagine how the story will end.  I do think you described Buffy's sense of betrayal very well.   I am glad to know that Riley is still the jerk that I always thought he was.  I am patiently waiting for the next update. 
Thanks for the review! I think you might be surprised at who (or what) Riley really is... tune in next time, lol.

Shiko
09/02/2008 04:00 pm
Chapter 18         
God, I hate Riley with all my heart. It was him, wasn't it?! Such a scumbag!

But Spike... always making stupid mistakes like this. He never learns, does he?
I can't tell you that! lol You'll just have to wait and see. :)

09/02/2008 11:13 am
Chapter 18         

Buffy is understandably floored - thank goodness for big mouth Riley.  He obviously knows everything, but what were his motives for saying nothing?  Cliffhanger -- again!!!

Well, he knows something, but as of yet, he hasn't revealed anything we didn't already know from Spike... whether he has any clues beyond that remains to be seen...

Cate
09/02/2008 10:39 am
Chapter 18         
Ooooo cliffy.... you really like them don't you :S lol at least it keeps us reading!! :D
Haha, I do! It was unintentional to have quite this many in a row, though, lol.

Ann
09/02/2008 05:03 am
Chapter 18         
Riley is such a freaking jerk! She was tipsy and with lowered inhibitions because his friends DRUGGED her so she would act that way WITH HIM, to help him 'get lucky'! She couldn't even remember it! And if you saw the tape, you'd know she was barely able to make decisions like that, and you'd know someone came in afterwards or...! Argh, she needs to demand to see the tape and thrash any overgrown frat boys that happen to be nearby!!

Great chapter, Spike's feelings and thoughts are described clearly without trying to make it sound like he thinks he's righteous and justified or whining about if only she hadn't found out... handled well. Now, Buffy's shocked, but I hope the Slayer gets brassed off next chapter!
"And if you saw the tape, you'd know she was barely able to make decisions like that"

Er, well... if we believe Spike, actually Buffy was pretty able to make decisions like that, considering she was the one coming on to him. Riley told her the drug lowers inhibitions, but it doesn't make a person feel things they don't already feel, so he's reacting to the fact that Buffy obviously had feelings for Spike while she was still dating him. And we don't know yet whether Riley knows someone came in afterwards, so we'll just have to wait and see how their conversation goes...

09/02/2008 04:47 am
Chapter 18         

Stupid Stupid, Stupid Spike, Hateful Stupid, Disgusting Riley, and Oh so going to be totally sorry PRICKS that started this whole tragic cycle for her. 

Men are can be total assholes from Spike being a complete jackass and not being able to control himself, to that bigoted soldier hero wannabe - and the worst of all - those two men that though so little of a woman and another human being that they felt it was perfectly within their right to drug her and turn her into a Sex Toy for their friend.

Right Now I despise them all -

Excellent Section - gets us back to the people who are the victims and who suffer from all this shit.

“It’s okay. It’s easier to let people believe that than to tell them the truth.” She showed no sign of being offended by Buffy’s judgment, and leaned in confidentially, lowering her voice. “The truth is, I was raped by four Pi Sig brothers as part of a hazing stunt.”

So... tell us how you really feel. *g* Thanks for the review!

09/02/2008 04:34 am
Chapter 18         
ooooohhhhhhhhhh  MORE MORE MORE!!!!!!  I can't wait~!
Glad you're enjoying it!

Mark Evans
09/02/2008 03:07 am
Chapter 18         
Poor Buffy, things just keep getting worse and worse for her :( .
They do, indeed... but eventually, something has to go her way, right?

09/02/2008 02:47 am
Chapter 18         
 OMG Tell me it was Riley Let Buffy Make up with Spike i Love him so much and he loves Buffy so much very good story i got into Veronica Mars because you mentioned it Very good show by the way
I'm glad this story could convert a new Veronica Mars fan! I'm surprised there's not more crossover between those fandoms, because to me the shows are very similar.

All4Spike
09/02/2008 02:43 am
Chapter 18         
So it's a regular thing on campus then? I don't think I like that uni!
Aha! So Riley turns out to be not so squeaky clean either! If he was on duty all night how could have seen Buffy with Spike? {ponders} Oh Oh Oh, Maggie's camera! So was it Riley all along then after he got angry seeing them together?
Can't wait for more revelations....
Unfortunately, it's rather common on all college campuses. I went to Take Back the Night every year at my school, and I was shocked at how many people I knew who got up to talk about their experiences with rape and sexual abuse.

Thanks for the review!

09/02/2008 02:42 am
Chapter 18         
And the truth is slipping out! Please give us more soon!
Everything's slipping...

Sorry, just went to a Dr. Horrible place. LOL, thanks for the review!

Cate
09/01/2008 10:13 am
Chapter 17         
Just a note to all the whiners out there who have the audacity to completely and just plain rudely insult the turn of events that this writer has chosen to take with their (that’s right THEIR) story, to bloody bugger off! If you don’t like it, you can just simply say “I don’t like these turn of events” or just not read anymore, but keep your nasty and spiteful comments to yourself. It’s okay to give constructive criticism to help these writers who write (just for the heck of it), but keep your idiot comments to yourself or go tell them somewhere else, ‘cause no one here really gives a frick.

Now for my comment hehehe… Personally I love this story and I can’t get enough of it. Personally I didn’t really see it as rape. Although I don’t agree with any notion that rape is a forgivable act, I believe Buffy’s reaction was quite understandable. Please, please, please, do not change your plot for any asshole that decides to criticise your work. For those people who wish to read comments before the actual chapter, do not allow the very negative comments of a few people deter you from reading the story, but take judgement into your own hands. Eowyn315, you write absolutely wonderfully! Ah ranting done… now I can breathe.

Heh, thanks for that! No changing anything here - it's just about all written, anyway, so complaints won't do any good. :) I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying the story!

kw
09/01/2008 04:19 am
Chapter 17         
another cliffhanger look foward to more
Thanks! Glad you liked it!

Miss C
08/31/2008 03:12 am
Chapter 17         
Holy Crap!! Didn't see that coming! Enjoying your story. Can't wait for more.
Thank you! Glad I was able to surprise you. :)

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/30/2008 01:59 pm
Chapter 17         
I just had to review again because I just looked at the other reviews and WOW, there's some real hatred out there. I just want to tell you that you are awesome - one of my favourite authors here - and I love every word you write. This story is one of your finest and that twist was amazing - you explained it well and it made sense. I would take comfort in the fact that the people leaving such pathetic comments couldn't write like you to save their lives. You rule, Eowyn! Keep up the good work!
Aww, you're such a sweetie! Yeah, I was surprised that there was so much negativity (particularly here, where there are rarely flamers), but other than being annoyed at getting spammed, I've not even given it a second thought. The overwhelming majority of responses (from all the sites where I've posted) was positive and encouraging, and I don't intend to change a word of what I've written just because a few jackasses curse me out. :) Thank you for the support, hon!

All4Spike
08/29/2008 11:35 pm
Chapter 17         
So glad it wasn't Spike. Knew it wasn't because of the bruises but you can never tell... Now then... who was it that Spike heard approaching? I hope Buffy continues to trust Spike, He didn't do anything wrong, just self defence lying by omission really...
who was it that Spike heard approaching?

That's a very good question... As for Buffy, I think she's still pretty hurt by what Spike did, but it's not over yet...

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/29/2008 03:38 pm
Chapter 17         
Uh oh. Looks like there's more... Look forward to the next update.
Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it.

08/29/2008 02:02 pm
Chapter 17         

I love this story for so many reasons. It's original. It has a mystery. It has a great plot. Characters are incredibly in character. And best of all it doesn't have Spike like this saint, makes-no-mistakes, lovey-dovey character that some Spuffy fans crave. 

So don't be bothered by what Terrible Story is blathering, and I really wish the mods erase all his/her comments because all s/he does is spam around.

Oh, it's not the sentiment that bothers me... I know that I'm writing a good story that's true to canon, and other than a few idiots, most of my readers have been very enthusiastic and supportive about both the story and this chapter. The thing that is a problem is that this one asshole has decided to waste my time by leaving 45 reviews all spewing the same bullshit. I'm not sure what s/he thinks s/he's proving, other than that s/he is clearly unstable and possibly off his/her medication. Unfortunately, only Dia can permanently delete comments and ban IP addresses.

Anyway, thank you for the lovely comments! I'm so glad that you're enjoying the story, and that you appreciate a Spike who is still evil (because let's face it - he's a vampire) and makes mistakes.

08/29/2008 09:35 am
Chapter 17         
Wow - really big surprise to me - real big disappointment for me that Spike would have given in to the temptation and passion, even with Buffy being the instigator - but this also feels like just the kind of thing that would happen to him - being so caught up by the moment, passion, and desire for love - then having everything turn straight to hell.   With their history his fears of being staked and her not accepting that she had wanted to have sex as much as he did is very much in character - still, Spike was foolish and out of control to act on their mutual desire.  I was expecting that one of The Initiative men had raped her - this bringing in of Spike as part of the whole rape ordeal is a really effective plot twist. 

This will be a very difficult thing for Buffy to try to deal with - and now with another person involved, things can only get worse.   Looking forward to see where you take everything. 
Thank you! I agree - it's pretty in character that Spike would give in to Buffy in this situation, and I'm not sure why a few people seem so appalled that I've apparently made Spike a rapist. I'm glad you appreciated the twist, and I hope you like the reveal of the real rapist, as well. Thanks for reviewing!

Terrible Story
08/29/2008 07:41 am
Chapter 17         
Some people know that Spike isn't a white knight and I know I wouldn't want him to be. But that doesn't mean we feel that he would have raped Buffy especially in this story. What we really pissed me off is that Spike slept with her again and starting this relationship with her. If he really loved her then he wouldn't have done that without telling Buffy the truth. So Spike may not be a white knight but I get sick of tired of people saying he raped Buffy. When Buffy abused him and used his feelings.
Seriously, you need to chill out. If you're so pissed that I've wasted your time, then why would you go to the trouble of spending HOURS spamming my story? You're only wasting more of your own time. I have no idea why you're freaking out about Seeing Red, since this story is NOT about that, and I never said it was. The circumstances are completely different. I get that you're sick of people saying Spike raped Buffy, but this ISN'T SEEING RED. Buffy isn't abusive in this fic AT ALL, so I don't know why you're even saying it. You're clearly confusing my story with an episode that has NOTHING to do with it.

If you don't like the story, fine, but there's no need to be a fucking asshole about it.

Terrible Story
08/29/2008 06:04 am
Chapter 17         
Buffy is a saint and Spike is so evil. Buffy does no wrong cause she is above everybody.
This many negative comments is uncalled for, and at this point would be considered spamming. You made your point (rudely), and continuing to post isn't going to change my mind or the story. I'm reporting you to the mods.

Terrible Story
08/29/2008 05:53 am
Chapter 17         
You such ass and so does this story.   You ruin a great story by doing this. Fuck this story and fuck you.  Of course we know this season 4 Spike. But this is also fanfiction which means characters may act different than from the show.   Buffy should not take Spike back after this.  I wouldn't want them together now.  No matter what Spike does I don't want them together. Now, you also made Spike have to beg for forgiveness to the holier than thou Buffy.   This story makes me want to heave.. I wasted so much time. So much time. You really should have warned readers about this before we wasted this time.

What a suck ass story.
*giggles* Let me guess - you created that penname just to comment on my fic, didn't you? Gosh, that makes me feel pretty special.

You may want to take note that the story is in fact labeled with a rape warning, and if you weren't comfortable with the possibility that anyone could've done it, it's your own fault for reading it. If you think I'm going to give away a major plot twist at the beginning of the story just to keep a few ignorant people from getting upset and "wasting their time," then you don't know a whole lot about storytelling.

Dee Bradfield
08/29/2008 03:44 am
Chapter 17         
Just jumping on the supportive bandwagon here. *bounces* Wow. Sturdy. :)
This is one of those rare stories that doesn't just concentrate on one (shallow) facet of what are some very, very complex characters. (That is, after all, why we love them so much). Judging by the grammar in your negative reviews, the wouldn't grasp the concept of good writing anyway. You are doing and excellent job. Keep it up.
Judging by the grammar in your negative reviews, the wouldn't grasp the concept of good writing anyway.

LOL! I didn't want to say it, but... well, you said it for me. :) Thank you for reviewing! I appreciate the support.

dustyelle
08/29/2008 03:07 am
Chapter 17         
what a great story this is! I really think people forget that Spike was not very nice in season 4 and Buffy was never nice to him.  Also, he did,nt consider it rape because at the time-and only at the time-it was Buffy who was seducing him.  Also, did'nt spike get his soul because he attempted rape in seeing red, and was it his soul he was seaking or giving her what he desearved.  So it isnt out of character for spike.  Again, wonderful story and please don't let bad apples get you down. 
Yep, I think you're right on target... I can't help it if some people want an unrealistic, fluffy Spuffy story... Thank you for the review, and I'm glad you enjoyed it!

08/29/2008 01:42 am
Chapter 17         
ha! i accept that. spike feels guilty cuz they did go at it, but buffy really was raped by someone else too. great chapter. can't wait to find out who the evil, evil ******* is. loser, whoever he is.
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it. :)

08/29/2008 01:07 am
Chapter 17         
Fabulous misdirection, my dear! lol (Although I knew Spike couldn't have been the one to rape her because of the bruises. *alows self to feel slightly smug for a moment* I still have no idea who did rape her though, so that is only the very teeniest bit of smugness. LOL

I love Buffy seducing Spike!

It’s suicide, mate, he told himself.

But what if it wasn’t? What if she meant it? What if he could have her, not as a conquest, a quick fuck or a victorious kill, but as a lover

That's our boy, isn't it? Always Love's Bitch!

I also love the fact that Spike was so caught up in his emotions that the bruises didn't click with him when she first confronted him--poor sod has spent all this time thinking that he was responsible for Buffy feeling the way she did, and being too scared to tell her what had actually happened between them, and he only now realises that there was someone else...
LOL, go ahead and feel smug... for now. Then I can be smug when I surprise you with the real rapist. :)

Spike is indeed love's bitch, isn't he? Although I maintain he didn't truly fall for her until after she'd started to confide in him, but there was definitely chemistry there right from the start. Also, Spike never saw the bruises, so it wasn't until Buffy mentioned them in this chapter that he had any clue she'd been hurt.

Thank you for the lovely review, darling!

08/28/2008 10:20 pm
Chapter 17         
WTF!! I want to see that tape! Those sneaky Initiative bastards. I swear Spike just can't catch a break, but since this is all about spuffy goodness...it will all work out in the end....right?
We'll have to wait and see how it works out... ;) Thanks for the review!

Shiko
08/28/2008 09:26 pm
Chapter 17         
Wow... I seem to be the only one who actually likes this twist. I can picture Spike being weak and sleeping with Buffy, even if it wasn't totally consensual. I can't remember though, did he know that she was drugged? At that point?
If not, then she seduced him and it isn't really his fault. We've all seen Buffy drunk (not exactly reasonable then, you know?) and he is still evil, your readers would do good to remember that.
I was really looking forward to this chapter and I am not disappointed. I am relieved though, that Spike didn't actually rape Buffy. Even if he could, he wouldn't have hurt her. But we've all seen season 6 and we know that Spike is capable of hurting or raping Buffy.
So I am still looking forward to the next chapter and I will keep reading this story. I have seen loads of bad fanfiction, lots OOC-Characters and your fanfiction is not one of those, yours is in a whole other league. So don't let it get you down, what other people wrote, because they just want to read happy-Buffy-happy-Spike-let's-have-happy-sex-fanfiction and that's not exactly what's your story about. Keep writing your story, as you imagined it. And I will keep reading it to the end. You rock.

Shiko
Sijay@gmx.net
Oh, don't worry, you're not the only one. I've gotten plenty of reviews on LiveJournal as well, and not a single on of them is negative. Just a few spoilsports here on the 'verse, I guess.

To answer your question, no, Spike didn't know she was drugged, and just thought she was drunk at the time. He didn't find out she was drugged until she did. It's still not morally right on his part, but as you pointed out, he's still evil, and more than capable of this and much worse. I think a lot of readers tend to forget that and just want happy, fluffy Spuffy. And that's definitely NOT what I write. :)

Thank you for the wonderful review, and I appreciate the kind words and support!

08/28/2008 07:17 pm
Chapter 17         
Wow, i'm quite shocked by some of these reviews. Perhaps unconventional, but what would good fanfic be if it was all predictable? This is a twist I wasn't expecting, but I quite liked the way you've taken it -  i can't wait to find out what happens next. Everyone's entitled to an opinion sure, but I think that flat out insulting is a step too far.

I liked it, does that make me "disgusting" too? I am thoroughly enjoying this story, please don't change the way you're writing just because some people don't like it, you can't please everybody.
Thank you for the lovely review! You know, some people just want the same old saintly Spike fluffy fic, and that's not what I write. Never has been (as anyone who's read my earlier fics will tell you), and I don't intend to change it just because a few people are rude and obnoxious. :)

mockerofshoes
08/28/2008 06:19 pm
Chapter 17         
Don't let those mean reviews get you down! I think your twist is just fine - remember, spike=evil vampire? big bad? Does anyone else remember Seeing Red? I think a lot of stories tend to show spike as a ridiculously noble white knight... but I think your story stays true to Joss's spike, who is always making stupid mistakes like this.  Please don't let the critical reviews discourage you - keep writing! You've got a great story here, as usual.
...and I wonder, who is our real scary raper? I can't wait to find out!
Thank you! I don't intend to let anything get me down! :) I completely agree with you - anyone expecting white knight Spike is looking in the wrong place. People seem to want to forget what Spike was like when he first came to Sunnydale. I appreciate the support and the kind words about the story!

Bridget
08/28/2008 05:46 pm
Chapter 17         
I almost did not read this chapter because I read the reviews first.  I am not happy that Spike had sex with Buffy and she was not aware of it.  That is still rape and there is no justification for it.  If he did not feel guilty he would have told her.  It seems as if someone else did also rape Buffy.  I hope you have plans to somehow fix this story because I did really like it.  But I don't  believe that Spike would have taken advantage of Buffy in that situation no matter how much he wanted her.  I can't say great chapter because it was not great to me but I am hoping for better things.    I do think you are a good writer though.
Thanks for the review. I don't intend to "fix the story," because I don't think there's anything wrong with it. Angst and a Spike who's still somewhat evil are pretty much exactly what I was going for. If you mean will I fix the relationship so that Buffy and Spike can get back together... that, you'll just have to wait and see.

Not amused
08/28/2008 05:23 pm
Chapter 17         
Well, I think this will never be my favourite chapter but I do trust you to come up with a storyline that deserves the title "closure". You are a great writer and it would be a shame to end it here - please continue.
Thank you... I have no intention of ending it here, so I'm glad to hear you'll keep reading.

Spike lover
08/28/2008 04:53 pm
Chapter 17         
wow.. horrible twist.... I dont know what you were thinking.. Spike knew she wasnt acting like her self (obviously she was drunk) and he still did it, and lied about it... made her feel sick and go to a therapist!!! He didnt rape her.. BUT he did it with her really knwing what she was doing, and all this time she was going to him for help and he never said anything! it's sick!

It's sad that you made this very bad twist, because the story was great till then.... well, gotta say I wont read it anymore, because i love Spike and if I was Buffy, I would never be able to forgive him for something so low. You made him a jerk, coward man, and I dont believe he is this way. So i will have to stop reading your story... hope your future ones, you think more about the twist, before you write it.
You remember Spike is evil, right? Believe me, I thought long and hard about the plot of this story, and I never once questioned this twist. If you don't like it, that's too bad for you, but I don't regret a thing.

LiLi
08/28/2008 04:45 pm
Chapter 17         
I HATE THAT U DID THAT! Spike? are u fucking serious??? all this time, all this time she thought she was raped and it was him??? are u fucking seroius??? I cant believev I wasted days reading a such disgusting story! I know he didnt force her, but he made her believe that she was raped for days, she was suffering and he didnt say anything! u are a horrble writer, and I have to repat. I CANT BELIEVE I WATED DAYS READING THIS BULLSHIT! but i will stop reading at this moment and wont read any more of your horrible stories! u have a disgusting twisted mind if u think that any woman would forgive someone who lied about that for days!!! u are disgusting!
Okey doke. Interesting that I haven't seen a single comment from you before this, on this or any other fic of mine. I guess you weren't reading very closely if you missed that Buffy was actually raped by someone else. Also, I don't see anywhere in this chapter that Buffy's forgiven Spike, which means you're making assumptions about something you haven't even read yet. But hey, if this is the way you behave, I'd be thrilled if you stopped reading my fic.

08/28/2008 03:22 pm
Chapter 17         
I'm not sure if I like this turn...
Even if she DID insist and want him at that moment, she was still very drunk (drugged, actually, right?) so therefore unable to give knowlegeable concent.  Spike knew she was drunk - mentions it several times, in fact.  Now, I know he's not superman, and he really wanted her and all, but still...technically, it's still rape.
AND, he has thought all this time that he WAS the one who did it, even if there was somebody else after him.  He let it eat her up inside, knowing what it was doing to her. 
You've dealt so well with teh aftermath of the rape up to this point, adn Buffy's reaction to everything, that this just throws the whole thing out of whack. 
I'm sorry to be critical...
Uh... I'm not really sure how this is throwing the whole thing out of whack. You're absolutely right in that the story is about the aftermath of the rape, and Buffy's reaction, and if you think Buffy is just going to let Spike off the hook for this, then you're not reading the same story I'm writing. Spike is still an evil vampire - this is season 4, and it's been heavily foreshadowed that he wasn't a good guy, so anyone expecting him to end up a saint should have looked elsewhere by now. Buffy is going to have to come to terms with who he is and what he's done, the same way she had to come to terms with being raped. I'm not sure why you'd expect this development to be dealt with any differently than the rest of the story.

Cheryl
08/28/2008 01:12 pm
Chapter 17         
OOhhh - twisty bit!  Loved it, and more, more, more please!
Thank you! So glad you're enjoying it! :)

10/18/2008 03:41 am
Chapter 16         
He was there.  I kind of figured that would be the case.  But I have faith.  :)   All can't be what it seems.  This is a Spuffy archive, after all. 

Very tense twist and I'm liking.
Hee, thank you for the faith. It's always good to know my readers trust me. :) It is a Spuffy fic, but then again, that doesn't always guarantee a happy ending...

09/13/2008 03:19 am
Chapter 16         
OH NO NO NO

Please tell me when i read on i'll find a reasonable explaination.
Heh, well, I guess you're already there, so I don't need to say more... :)

mockerofshoes
08/27/2008 05:48 pm
Chapter 16         
ooooh that's cold, leaving us hanging like that! PLEASE post again soon??? :)
Heh, yes, well, I'm evil. :) Thanks for the review!

sirc
08/27/2008 11:24 am
Chapter 16         
Well done
Thanks!

Kristen
08/27/2008 03:21 am
Chapter 16         
You CANNOT leave it there! Please update soon! This story is amazing!
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

kamla
08/25/2008 09:29 pm
Chapter 16         
wow!  Just when I think I know what the heck is going on--pow! you get me!  most excellent story!!
Hee! That was the plan. Thanks for the review - I'm glad you're enjoying it!

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/24/2008 01:15 pm
Chapter 16         
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!!! NO, it can't be!! Please update soon before I burst!
Oh, dear. I don't want any medical emergencies due to lack of updates. No bursting, please! ;) Thanks for the review!

Bridget
08/24/2008 12:42 am
Chapter 16         
Please Spike couldn't be the rapist.  Please update soon with an explanation. 
Next update should be up in a day or so. Thanks for the review!

pretty_in_fangs
08/24/2008 12:09 am
Chapter 16         
Grrr...  I knew him keeping her inthe dark about...whatever.. was going to come back and bite him in the ass.
Ha, well, it's not a Spuffy story until someone gets bitten in the ass. Interpret that as you will. ;)

spuffy
08/23/2008 08:58 pm
Chapter 16         
my god you are so dead!!!
you are yo continue this story now!!!!  
please .... pretty please?!?!  update soon!
Hmm... well, if I'm dead, I can't finish posting the story... so does that mean I get to live, at least until the fic is done? ;)

08/23/2008 08:12 pm
Chapter 16         
You are so bad leaving us at this point - this work just keeps getting better - so many emotions are being played out between your characters -

Thank you! The emotional depth being explored here is definitely one of the reasons I was intrigued by this fic idea. I'm glad you like it!

Liza
08/23/2008 07:03 pm
Chapter 16         
Wow, good cliffhanging.  Cleverly ambiguous last line.  Can't wait for the next chapter.  Make it quick?
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it.

08/23/2008 11:25 am
Chapter 16         

That's what comes from keeping secrets.  It's time for Spike to reveal what he knows - and why he couldn't tell her right way.  I love a mystery!

Thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I've really had a great time writing a mystery, and I'd love to do it again if I come up with another idea.

08/23/2008 04:27 am
Chapter 16         
Hmmm...I'm definitely thinking set up here!

Spike obviously knows something, but I really don't think he is the guilty party. Apart from the fact that he couldn't have inflicted all that bruising, Buffy remembered hot breath and Spike's is, well, not...

Really feeling for Buffy right now! I hope for her sake that whatever Spike knows/has done isn't too awful, I'm not sure how well she'd cope with that after everything else.
Interesting thoughts... interesting thoughts... lol. It's so hard to read these reviews without giving away a yes or a no, but it's kinda fun. :) I'm glad you liked it!

08/23/2008 04:25 am
Chapter 16         
Well, there's a twist I wasn't expecting. 
Then again, what "she knew" might be that he didn't have anything to do with her assault.
Heh, I might have been deliberately vague there. ;) Thanks for the review!

Cate
08/23/2008 02:29 am
Chapter 16         
Oh that is so evil! I absolutely love this story. It is so addictive and you just had to leave it at such a gripping cliff-hanger. Please Please Please Update. I'll give you gold stars!! I will keep up the begging if it will help you. Please please please please please....
Heh, thanks. I'm glad you're enjoying it. However, I'm also extremely hard-hearted, and will keep to my posting schedule regardless of begging. ;)

08/23/2008 02:13 am
Chapter 16         
oh my gosh. you left us there???? OH MY GOSH!
and i knew spike was hiding something... ever since that dancing scene where he thinks about how he has to tell her something... BUT, C'MON! HE DIDN'T... DID HE? i mean, he couldn't. unless... ya know, it wasn't rape... and he wasn't hurting her...
wow.
i really can't wait for the next chappie. and see what spike has to say.
I dunno... did he? ;) We'll find out soon enough, I'm sure...

All4Spike
08/23/2008 02:12 am
Chapter 16         
Oh no! It can't be! You are so evil with the cliffs and the hanging! You'd better have a good explanation.......
I do have a good explanation... I'm evil. :) Oh, you meant an explanation for the shirt? Not why I love cliffhangers? Well, I can't give you that, lol.

10/18/2008 03:34 am
Chapter 15         
I'm so curious to know what Spike knows.  :)
Spike has been a bad boy...

08/22/2008 10:28 am
Chapter 15         
Firstly--I'm glad I finally found the time to sit down and read this. I love this fic!

Secondly--He hadn’t counted on wanting to help her through it, wanting to help her solve the mystery, even as he withheld the missing piece. 
Gah...Spike, whatever it is you know it is probably better to tell her now than let her find out on her own.  *waits for shit to hit the fan*
Thank you! So glad you're enjoying it. And I'd say take cover, because the shit should be hitting the fan any second now... ;)

Diana
08/19/2008 05:24 am
Chapter 15         
ahhhhh update soon :]
Soon enough. :)

kw
08/18/2008 05:15 am
Chapter 15         
good update
Thanks!

Bridget
08/17/2008 08:55 pm
Chapter 15         
I am glad that they are together but Spike's thoughts sound ominous.  I don't believe he was involved in the rape but I bet he knows what happened.
Hmm... guess we'll have to wait and see...

08/17/2008 08:53 pm
Chapter 15         

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/17/2008 08:25 pm
Chapter 15         
Hope she gives him a talking to!! Or better. :-) Worried about Spike's guilt and this 'missing piece'.... :-s Look forward to more.
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

08/17/2008 06:26 pm
Chapter 15         

A  sweet interlude, but what has Spike been hiding?

Thanks! That's a very good question... :)

Yay :-)
05/10/2010 03:40 pm
Chapter 14         
 

10/18/2008 03:25 am
Chapter 14         
Still...liked the action.  LOL!  Very nice ending scene for this chapter.
Different type of action from the last chapter, eh? Glad you liked it! :)

All4Spike
08/13/2008 01:09 am
Chapter 14         
Lovely natural gentle progression into the Spuffiness while keeping close to canon. Perfect. More please. 
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. :)

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/12/2008 07:00 pm
Chapter 14         
Lovely update with oodles of tenderness and just lovely sweet goodness. I look forward to more as always.
Thank you! It's nice to give them some happiness for a change. :)

Bridget
08/12/2008 06:52 pm
Chapter 14         
Nicely done.
Thanks!

08/12/2008 05:12 pm
Chapter 14         

Wow, beautiful chapter. Love it. Keep writing for us.

Thank you! I'm glad you enjoyed it!

08/12/2008 09:56 am
Chapter 14         
That was the perfect first fic of the morning - heave..  Long may it last.
Well, it's Spuffy, so it probably won't last long, lol. You know how those two can get in trouble. :) Thanks for the review!

Mark Evans
08/12/2008 05:14 am
Chapter 14         
Thanks for sharing :D .  I always love it when this story is updated!  I can't wait for the next chapter.
Thank you! I enjoy hearing from you. :)

10/18/2008 03:19 am
Chapter 13         
This story is still very gripping and I'm liking all the action. 
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you're still enjoying it. :)

KW
08/11/2008 07:04 am
Chapter 13         
curious about the tape
I think a lot of people are... ;)

ya_lublyu_tebya
08/06/2008 09:03 pm
Chapter 13         
Uh oh!! Can't wait for the next instalment.
Thanks for the review!

Liza
08/05/2008 07:55 pm
Chapter 13         

08/04/2008 08:32 pm
Chapter 13         
Great Update - Forrest and Graham are really creeps - NICE action chapter - This is a wonderful story -
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you enjoyed it. :)

akarinacj
08/04/2008 03:11 pm
Chapter 13         
Great story. Just read it from the beginning. I can't wait!!!! Please update soon. :-))
Thanks! I'm glad you like it!

TwilightChild
08/04/2008 06:06 am
Chapter 13         
  This chapter was intense, loved it!  It actually felt just like something I would have seen out of the show.  Especially the fight and the flight scene.  Please keep up the good work, you're marvelous. 
Aww, thank you, TC! It's good to see you around, and I'm so happy to hear that you're enjoying the fic. :)

Cas
08/04/2008 04:59 am
Chapter 13         

Little slow on the uptake, ummm?

I hope you mean Buffy and Spike... lol.

08/04/2008 02:04 am
Chapter 13         
oh, adventure! just when spuffy have gotten together! love ti! great chase! very well written!
Never a dull moment with those two, is there? lol Thanks for the review!

08/03/2008 10:46 pm
Chapter 13         
Whoa, wait, TAPE?!  Jerks!!
 
Though at least Graham's not a complete asshole ...
 
Yay, action sequences!
 
D=  And I'm still worried about this secret ....
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it. :)

08/03/2008 09:00 pm
Chapter 13         
Excellent!  Reviewed in the LJ.

Kathleen
Hi again! *waves*

08/03/2008 08:57 pm
Chapter 13         

You've really upped the ante with the revelation about the tape - the Initiative guys are so sick!

Puts a whole new spin on things, doesn't it?

Mark Evans
08/03/2008 07:44 pm
Chapter 13         
Uh-oh, what a cliff hanger.  I always love it when this story is updated, it's definitely one of my favorites.  I can't wait for the next chapter, and I really can't wait to find out what actually happened to Buffy.
I do like my evil cliffhangers, and this story hasn't had nearly enough of them. *eg* I'm glad you're enjoying it! Thanks for the review. :)

08/03/2008 06:44 pm
Chapter 13         
I hate those soldiers. And Graham and Forrest gave me even more questions and I'm confused which means-PERFECT. I love secrets and this story is getting to me more and more. 
Awesome! I love confusing people! Er... in a "can't solve the mystery" kind of way, that is. Anyway, thanks for the review! lol

:-)
05/10/2010 03:27 pm
Chapter 12         
 

08/01/2008 12:23 pm
Chapter 12         

You know I'm reading chapters of this story here and there, and there and it's just awesome so I can't keep myself from reviewing every new chapter I see.And that one was just great. I love how Buffy and Spike act around each other. Very, very sweet. Can't wait for more.And I like the counselor very much.

Thank you! I'm so glad to hear that you're enjoying it - wherever the review pops up! :)

ya_lublyu_tebya
07/29/2008 08:02 pm
Chapter 12         
Yay, more kisses!! Great stuff.
Thank you! Kisses are always a good thing. :)

07/29/2008 11:50 am
Chapter 12         
Buffy's making a well-considered decision!  Squeeable!
Hee, everyone thinks she's doing the right thing when she's kissing Spike! Thanks for the review!

Aurelia
07/29/2008 07:03 am
Chapter 12         
Yipee! Spuffiness! +Snoopy dances+
LOL, glad you liked it!

07/29/2008 06:38 am
Chapter 12         
Another very excellent chapter, and with a lovely Spuffy ending.

But, I have to say, the best part was: “End of the world’s easy. We could do that blindfolded. But picking out the perfect assortment of doughnuts takes skill.”  That was probably the most in-character line I have ever read in any piece of fanfiction.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked that line, although I'm a little surprised... it didn't seem like anything special when I wrote it, lol.

07/29/2008 05:32 am
Chapter 12         
big change - hope that Buffy is not pushing herself too quickly into this new phase and changed relationship with Spike.  
She's definitely full speed ahead, isn't she? I think now that she's found something that seems to work, she's in it all the way.

All4Spike
07/29/2008 01:05 am
Chapter 12         
Yay! Progress in the right direction!
LOL, about time, isn't it? :)

10/18/2008 02:46 am
Chapter 11         
Riley and Buffy split?  All I can say is good riddance.  I've very much engrossed in this story and I'm so glad I waited until it was completed to read it.  :)
Aww, but if you wait until it's complete, you don't get the full experience of my twelve cliffhangers in a row. :( I do so enjoy being evil.

ya_lublyu_tebya
07/29/2008 07:58 pm
Chapter 11         
A little sad about that breakup - Buffy really didn't need the added pain. But wow, that kiss with Spike... Wonderfully done.
Thank you! I think, when it all shakes out, Buffy will be better off because of the break-up. :)

All4Spike
07/25/2008 01:50 am
Chapter 11         
Yay! Riley gorn! I have to say you have NeedyBuffy down exactly. She knows she doesn't love Riley, she still doesn't totally trust him or feel comfortable with him, but she clings to the security of having a relationship regardless. She should remember what she told him at the beginning, it was always doomed!
Now for the Spuffy.....
I think her reaction is more shock than anything else. Things have definitely been troubled for a while, but she seemed to think that they'd get better eventually. It was a big surprise to have him end things so abruptly. Thanks for the review!

sirc
07/24/2008 11:39 pm
Chapter 11         
Well done
Thanks!

Cas
07/24/2008 06:00 am
Chapter 11         
So he has the nerve to break up with her!  Way to be supportive!  Soo in character too.
Thanks for the review! Given the way Buffy's been acting, I think Riley could tell he was on the way out whether he said something or not, so he'd rather bow out than be dumped for a vampire...

07/24/2008 04:34 am
Chapter 11         
Yay! no more Riley!
Well, they broke up... doesn't mean he's gone, per se. :)

07/23/2008 05:49 pm
Chapter 11         
Wow - I didn't expect such a successful outcome!  Kudos - and au revoir Riley!
Heh, I don't know if Buffy will agree it was successful just yet... but give her time. :)

07/23/2008 01:17 pm
Chapter 11         
D=  Big fat Riley jerk.  Big jerk!!  ::flail::

Outside of gut girl reaction, though ... I am so not surprised.  It's pretty much what he did in S5, for pretty much the same reasons ... just without the ultimatum.  S'all good.  I thought you did a very nice handling of the same core problem with a different context.

As always, love the update and look forward to more!
LOL, nice gut reaction. I think you're right, it is very similar to what he did in season 5 (and I think Buffy's behavior - holding back from him - is also similar). I tend to do that, use different circumstances to illustrate the same problem, or set up a parallel situation in the fic. Even if I want to tell a different story, some of the notes feel right to stay the same.

Thanks for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

Mark Evans
07/23/2008 08:23 am
Chapter 11         
Goodbye to Riley!  Lol, thanks for yet another wonderful update :) .  I love the pace and progression of this story.  I can't wait for the next chapter.
Thank you, although I don't think this is the last we've seen of Riley... Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

07/23/2008 08:10 am
Chapter 11         
love how you brought in the "my will be done" time - a time and memory of love and devotion and sense of safety that is such a contrast to how she feels now. 
Thank you! Glad you liked that allusion. I think maybe Buffy has been longing for the way she felt under the spell without even realizing it.

Buffyconvert
08/14/2009 04:02 am
Chapter 10         
Oh, yes! Way to go, Buffy. Honestly, these story is so well-written and exciting that I can bearly leave the computer to do my r/l
Heh, thanks! I'm glad you're enjoying it. :)

sirc
07/24/2008 11:31 pm
Chapter 10         
Great chapter!
Thanks!

anon462
07/18/2008 11:33 pm
Chapter 10         
I just read your story up to date and I am very impressed with how you have handled Buffy. The way she's thinking, the way she's feeling, the way she's reacting to everyone around her, it is all very realistic, and very painful for her. The worst part, and most realistic, is how she is feeling like a victim and is feeling powerless. For Buffy, who has always been able to find her inner strength and face the very worst of things in her life, being a victim of rape has made her doubt herself and robbed her of that inner strength. Trying to live in denial didn't help, but it is also a normal kind of behavior for rape victims trying to cope with what has happened to them.

Your doing and excellent job with this story!!!

(? I'm trying to understand, but why the hell did Xander just leave Buffy in Riley's room? Xander, Anya and Willow were all with her, why didn't they take her back to her dorm room? I really can't see leaving my best friend past out cold in an empty bedroom of a fraterity house full of drunken strangers roaming the hallways???)
Thank you for the lovely review! So glad to hear that you're enjoying it.

As for Xander... well, it wouldn't be any fun if no one did anything suspicious. :) Bad decisions like that are what cast doubt on his innocence (of course, by this point in the story, they've already had it out, and Buffy's satisfied it's not him). His logic was pretty much that they were leaving her in her boyfriend's room, so she should be safe, not anticipating anyone disturbing her. They had all been drinking, and Willow at least was drunk enough to not make good decisions. This was easier than carrying her across campus to her own room. Bad idea, but if no one made mistakes, this kind of thing wouldn't happen...

07/17/2008 08:29 pm
Chapter 10         
“Buffy, you don’t want to go against the Initiative.”

Initiative boy say what?

Love it so far, keep it up!
Thanks! Glad you're enjoying it!

kamla
07/17/2008 02:06 am
Chapter 10         
the subject matter of this story really didn't thrill me and I hate Initiative stories, but haviing said all that.  Can I just say that this story is incredible.  I really like how you are handling the aftermath of the rape and that you are letting the relationship between the slayer and spike build slowly.  Sometimes I read stories and one sentence they hate each other and the next their moving in together.  anywho.... great story and keep the updates coming...and if you feel the need to let the cat out of the bag about who raped her.......e mail me.
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it, and that you decided to give it a shot even though the subject matter didn't seem appealing. Slow and steady Spuffy seems to be one of my trademarks - I just can't get them together without a lot of effort. :) And I think I'm okay for now keeping that secret... two people know, but you'll have to find them and bribe them if you want answers. :)

All4Spike
07/17/2008 02:02 am
Chapter 10         
"You want Spike, you’re gonna have to go through me.”
Yay! Forewarned is forearmed.
Buffy's a tough chica when she wants to be. :)

07/16/2008 05:04 pm
Chapter 10         

Excellent Chapter - the part with Buffy and Joyce is so realistic -  Perhaps the greatest block to overcome would be with her mother.  Even if you have a great mother/daughter relationship, the complexity of emotions resulting from this type of rape are devastating.  Your summation with the "Joyce list" is splendid. 

Your work on this piece is so very good - this is a real "move forward" project for your work -

I am so tempted to skip the next two updates and wait so that I can have more to read at once -

Thank you! I think it's definitely hardest to tell the people closest to you, especially a parent whom you look up to and want to be proud of you.

You're more than welcome to wait a while to read the updates... if you can... ;)

07/16/2008 11:47 am
Chapter 10         
Buffy needs something she can fight - and the Initiative will do just fine, all of them!
Heh, they should keep her busy for a while, right? :)

Cas
07/16/2008 04:00 am
Chapter 10         
That might help.  If she can't single out one of them, she can lash out at the Initative as a whole.  My money's on them being complicit anyway.
Well, at the very least, she was drugged by an Initiative soldier, using Initiative drugs. I'd say that makes them complicit, regardless of who the rapist is.

08/14/2009 03:54 am
Chapter 9         
     "It was unclear whether Spike's presence bothered (Willow)because he'd tried to kill her on several occasions or simply because he'd interrupted her study time". Yep, that's our Willow. All with the having of priorities.
     Hey, I finally figured out how to use spell check (I didn't know that small ABC over a check sign & beside the "check" was spell-check) !  
     Why didn't Buffy take Spike to her house? Doesn't make sence to me, but ...
She didn't take Spike to her house because she knew the Initiative was looking for him, and she didn't want to get her mother involved in that. Also, if Buffy's going home to escape from everything for a little while, it doesn't really make sense to take one of her problems along with her.

10/18/2008 02:27 am
Chapter 9         
I don't blame Xander for his reaction, but I still feel bad for Buffy.  It's getting realistically worse for her.
Yeah, it's hard to fault either one of them for their reactions. It's just a bad situation all around...

Mark Evans
07/11/2008 11:32 am
Chapter 9         
I love this story!  You write Buffy so well.  I understand her friends reacting the way they did, but I wish they'd try to be more supporting.  But I do feel their reactions to everything are realistic.  This fic is so sad, yet it's so good, and I don's usually like angst, lol.  I can't wait for the next update :D .
Thank you! I'm pretty big on the angst, so it was sort of inevitable. :) I'm glad you're enjoying the story, and that it feels realistic. That's always a great thing to hear.

07/11/2008 04:42 am
Chapter 9         
you write this Buffy so well it's scary
Thank you! I'm glad you like it.

07/11/2008 02:57 am
Chapter 9         
Another excellent update - sad turn of events for Buffy-Xander relationship - I don't blame him for being so upset but at least bringing up the hyena incident will help clear out old wounds - that is if they can get back their trust and Best Friend relationship.

This chapter is so good at showing how this crime effects not only Buffy, but all her other relationships as well. 

Thanks much for the new chapter - your story is a great new project for the Spuffy and Buffyverse FF community -
Yeah, I figured I couldn't do a rape fic where Xander was a suspect without bringing up the hyena thing, so they'll just have to sort out their issues. Thanks for the review! I'm glad you liked it.

kw
07/11/2008 02:27 am
Chapter 9         
sad but good
Thank you!

07/11/2008 01:08 am
Chapter 9         

Impressive confrontations!   Getting fired up is just what Buffy needs to do.  Great update

Thanks! I think it'll be good for her. :)

10/18/2008 02:17 am
Chapter 8         
I like how Spike and Buffy are getting close.  :)  And worried about Riley and his boys going after Spike.  :(

I also love how Buffy threw him down on the pavement.
Thanks! I think any Riley damage usually gets a good reaction with Spuffy fans. :)

Aeryn
09/16/2008 03:19 pm
Chapter 8         
Hey ya,  I understand why she can't kill a human, I just meant I wished she could have given him a swift kick in his unmentionables. :)

ya_lublyu_tebya
07/29/2008 07:43 pm
Chapter 8         
Oh dear, Spike's in trouble.
Heh, yes, he is...

07/08/2008 03:11 am
Chapter 8         
You are really hitting so many aspects of rape victims just right - strong stuff with the "acting like a slut and asking for it" -

Nice the way Buffy and Spike are connecting - also good with how Buffy and Riley are not connecting.  Not that I want him to be the "bad guy" but your treatment of their relationship and his hatred of Spike is effective.
Thank you! I don't think Riley is really the "bad guy" - I think you're right, it's a matter of them not connecting. Glad you liked the chapter!

Deb
07/07/2008 09:18 am
Chapter 8         
Great update.  Leaving us in suspense.  Looking forward to next chappie.
Thanks! Glad you liked it. :)

sirc
07/05/2008 10:44 pm
Chapter 8         
Well done!
Thanks!

All4Spike
07/05/2008 03:16 pm
Chapter 8         
Your insensitive Riley is true to character. Why the writers had her stay with him after he'd accused her of sleeping with Angel in LA thus proving he didn't trust her I'll never understand. Likewise I'll never understand why she forgave him for being oblivious to Faith's switch. Proved he didn't know her at all. Glad to see Buffy accepting comfort from Spike. "this was where she felt safe, hugged to a killer’s chest."

Aaw...
Thanks for the review! I never thought Riley and Buffy were good together, but I don't really think it was anyone's fault... they just didn't fit well. Glad you liked the chapter!

07/05/2008 10:19 am
Chapter 8         
Dude, what's Spike keeping a secret?!?! I'm dying to know!!!
And I still think Riley's stupid... he's gonna do something stupid soon, I can sense it. :P
Now, that would be telling! :-D You'll just have to wait and see...

07/04/2008 11:55 pm
Chapter 8         
Excellent update.  Doing something underhand with his pals backing him up is the only way Riley can operate - bleagh!  Buffy's having a tough time, so pleased you have her turning to Spike more.
Riley is definitely a passive-aggressive guy, based on his actions in season 5, so of course he'd go after Spike instead of trying to work things out with Buffy... Thanks for the review!

07/04/2008 07:02 pm
Chapter 8         
D=  Oh noes!  Your secret, Spike, is gonna get you in trouble ... or at least you think it does.

::pats Riley::  Not Mr. Smooth there with the grabbing ... and the capturing, that'll get you into trouble it will.

=D  Enjoyed it, as always!
Well, he wouldn't be Spike if he weren't getting himself in trouble, right? ;) Maybe he and Riley can share the doghouse, lol. Thanks for the review!

Mark Evans
07/04/2008 06:28 pm
Chapter 8         
Poor B, I hope she finds some answers soon.  Thanks for the wonderful update :D .  I can't wait to read more.
Thanks for the review! Glad you liked it. :)

Buffyconvert
08/14/2009 03:23 am
Chapter 7         
     "Maybe she wasn't raped at all." Yea, same old, if your culture isn't my culture and choices aren't my choices, then you are trash.
Buffy needs to keep her head (and heart) on straight and ditch Mr. Initiative,
Hmmm... there might be more going on there than it appears... :)

10/18/2008 02:05 am
Chapter 7         
That doesn't sound too good for our vampire. 

I'm intrigued by Spike's almost confession about something...
Oh, Spike... should've come clean when he had the chance. Thanks for the review!

07/01/2008 06:31 am
Chapter 7         
God, this story is so fantastic!  I can't wait to find out more.
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it!

All4Spike
06/29/2008 04:15 pm
Chapter 7         
So Forrest thinks that as Buffy is talking to Spike aka Hostile 17 she wasn't raped? Yeah, that makes sense, in the sense that it doesn't. And Riley is going to come back during the day to 'take care of' Spike when he has nowhere to run? Brave boy. Thank God for the tunnels.... 
I think Forrest is hinting that Spike was the guy she slept with, and that she didn't need to be forced...

06/29/2008 06:12 am
Chapter 7         
This is keeps getting more interesting with every new chapter - excellent work. 

thanks ever for the regular updates - your readers appreciate being able to read this work without long delays -
Thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Nick
06/28/2008 11:05 pm
Chapter 7         

You know, Buffy was way too quick to discount Xander after that Hyena incident.

BTW, fun fact about Hyenas: it the FEMALES that are the aggressive sex, not the males; it's so extreme that it is physically impossible for male to forcibly mate with a female. Plus there are several other reasons why the whole "Xander was possessed" spiel is total bullsh*t.

Pretty much any other canine species and it'd hold up water but the writer chose one of the very few species on this planet that are the exception. It makes me wonder if the writers were planning on turingin Xander into a villian.

Well, we'll certainly deal with Xander further in later chapters, but personally, I disagree with you that he was at fault, regardless of actual hyena behavior. Everything's a metaphor for something else - it doesn't have to have a 1 to 1 correlation. Definitely don't think they were planning to turn Xander into a villain because of this.

06/28/2008 10:42 pm
Chapter 7         
I love the twist - it really ups the ante!
Thanks! :)

06/28/2008 08:58 pm
Chapter 7         
Oh no they don't!! Stupid Riley. (okay, i know you kinda like him... but that doesn't mean i have too!!! ^_^)
I like how Spiek and Buffy are getting along, very believeable. can't wait to see what happens next.
Thanks for the review! :)

06/28/2008 08:13 pm
Chapter 7         
“Experimental. Not supposed to be used on humans. God, Buffy, if I’d known he was gonna use it on you, I never would’ve let him.”

So you would have let him use some other drug?  *cough*  I'm not sure if that was implication that was meant, but it was the first one that I got. 

Otherwise, great love all around.  Like how she remembers Parker and totally forgets about Parker's friend.  XD   And Spike's little secret ... I'm getting awfully curious.

D=  Cue the chase/trap scene!  *gasp*  Stay safe, Spike!
 
*rolls eyes*  Why is Spike harmless with everything except talking to girls?  Then he suddenly becomes dangerous.
I will not argue with that implication... it could be that Riley just misspoke, or it could be that he just let something slip he didn't want Buffy to know... :) Yay for mysteries!

"Why is Spike harmless with everything except talking to girls?  Then he suddenly becomes dangerous."

Well, Spike is very pretty. Girls like him. Jealousy all around! :) Thanks for the review!

Buffyconvert
08/13/2009 09:41 pm
Chapter 6         
     Good job having someone in the community admit that not EVERYONE in Sunnydale is totally ignorant of what's the what. This is getter better as it goes along. Love it.
Heh, thanks, although she's not really the first. They did give Buffy the Class Protector award in high school, so the students at least knew what the deal was. :)

10/18/2008 01:27 am
Chapter 6         
The last line made me LOL! 
Hee, thanks! I can't tell you how much time I spent reading Passions recaps so that his plot summary would be accurate (mostly because I'm embarrassed, lol).

ya_lublyu_tebya
07/29/2008 07:34 pm
Chapter 6         
Graham deserved more of an ass-kicking than that. I really hope, for his sake, Riley wasn't in on this plan. Loving this story, by the way.
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it. :)

06/27/2008 10:31 am
Chapter 6         
That's more like Buffy - at least she's started punching again!  I hope she confides in Spike.
Heh, yeah, she needed to get that fire back. Thanks for the review!

06/27/2008 10:30 am
Chapter 6         
Great Update - again, with the excellent treatment of themes - Surprise about the friends of Riley and oh so interested to see what this
Hydracin-12 does. 

How totally sleazy and heartless these Initiative soldiers are - to think that a woman and Buffy's life is theirs to play with.  To invade her body and emotions for in-order to give another man sexual pleasure.  Great way to introduce the potential criminals in this hateful and complete invasion and disregard of Buffy - as another human being and the woman that is the companion and lover of their presumed friend.

06/27/2008 10:30 am
Chapter 6         
Great Update - again, with the excellent treatment of themes - Surprise about the friends of Riley and oh so interested to see what this
Hydracin-12 does. 

How totally sleazy and heartless these Initiative soldiers are - to think that a woman and Buffy's life is theirs to play with.  To invade her body and emotions for in-order to give another man sexual pleasure.  Great way to introduce the potential criminals in this hateful and complete invasion and disregard of Buffy - as another human being and the woman that is the companion and lover of their presumed friend.
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. You are definitely right about the Initiative guys - it's a terrible lack of respect to do that to someone. I think it's probably compounded by the fact that she's the Slayer. They don't really know what that is or if she's really human, so they feel they can treat her like one of the captured HSTs.

06/26/2008 01:28 pm
Chapter 6         
D=  Holy crap.

Graham, of all people!  =/  I thought better of you, Graham.  I thought you'd never get sucked into that kind of ... of ... /justification/ for messing with somebody.  I expect this out of Forest ... well, at least against someone he thinks little of and dislikes anyway. 

However, despite my OMG at them, you still set it up really believable.  I froth at them being stupid men rather than at them being OOC.  =D 

Also, I really liked the Riley and Spike convos.  Those were very smooth.  I also like how Buffy goes to the counselor post the incident.  Not to mention the fact that the counselor suggests she investigates.  That is just ... awesome.  And the insinuation about Buffy's reputation?  XD  Hehehehe.  I grin with glee.
Thank you! I've always liked Graham, so I feel a little bad about putting this on him. It was originally supposed to be Forrest, but I have other plans for him. I think Graham actually works better here because it isn't as expected, and Graham's also nicer, so he does feel some remorse when he finds out it led to Buffy being raped. Forrest seemed to come across as a bit of a one-dimensional asshole.

Glad you liked the chapter. I definitely wanted the counselor to be the one who suggests that Buffy investigate. It's probably not something you hear often in rape counseling, but everyone knows Buffy's a special girl. :)

06/26/2008 12:57 pm
Chapter 6         
“So, there a reason you booted on Mrs. Jamison’s grave, or did the bint just have it coming?”
 Hahaha. I think this is my favorite chapter so far. Can't wait for the next one!
Thanks! Glad you liked that line - it was one of my favorites. Thanks for the review!

06/26/2008 06:50 am
Chapter 6         
Wow, life has really thrown Buffy for a spin. Poor Buffster. All confused. Love the chapter. Can't wait to see what'll happen next. Stupid college boys.........
~dl
Thanks for reviewing! I'm glad you liked it. :)

Buffyconvert
08/13/2009 09:35 pm
Chapter 5         
     Wow! Giles certainly has been remiss in explaining vampire culture to Buffy. Either that, or she just doesn't want to face Angel's past with Spike,
Uh... not sure I follow on the vampire culture thing. But Buffy probably doesn't know anything about Angel's past with Spike - I doubt either one of them has ever sat down with her and had a chat about the good old days.

IT
06/25/2008 07:23 am
Chapter 5         
Thanks for the update.  This is a very brave topic to take on and I think you're doing a wonderful job.  Maybe Buffy will figure out that Spike will do her more good than anyone else, since he's not only chipped, but suffered through Angelus as well.  Riley's reaction will be interesting.  I'm interested to see what you'll do there.  Didn't the Initiative have video cameras in all the rooms?  Maybe he can help that way.  I'll stop guessing now and wait for the next chapter! :)   
Yep, Maggie Walsh at least had access to a video feed of Riley's room. Who knows - could end up being evidence. I'm glad you're enjoying the story. Thanks for the review!

Pam S
06/24/2008 11:57 am
Chapter 5         
  Ah, the dread STD... at least no pregnancy with the pill hopefully.  And the object of her "hate" is the only one that knows and saves her.. Sad..
Heh, I really wasn't interested in writing a pregnancy/baby fic, so definitely none of that. :) Thanks for the review!

06/23/2008 07:19 pm
Chapter 5         
This is some powerfule stuff you've got going on here.  Well written and good portrayal of the characters as an added bonus! 
Sorry - I really am liking this story, I just appear to have gotten stuck in smartmouth mode...
Thanks! Smartmouth or otherwise, I'm glad you're enjoying it! ;)

06/23/2008 10:01 am
Chapter 5         
Another excellent chapter -

“I don’t want your pity!”

“’S not pity. It’s… I dunno. Empathy, I guess.” He stared down at his boots, as though embarrassed to meet her gaze.

“You know how it feels to be raped?” she challenged him, her voice laden with sarcasm. She was pretty sure Spike’s only experience was on the other side of that situation.

My impression is that Spike might very easily know exactly how this would feel with his early experience with his vampire family -  It seems  likely that  dominance between Angelus and Spike would have sexual domination involved.

read what one of the other reviewers posted about Buffy thoughts what Spike would know about rape - Buffy might have very different reaction to Spike if she does think about him as a rapist.  I will just have to wait and see where you are taking their discussion and relationship around this horrible violation. 

Best of Luck with your story - well done
Yep, I was thinking along those lines as well, regarding Spike's experience with Angelus, but without being too explicit about it, since it was never explicit in canon. Thanks for the review!

06/23/2008 08:50 am
Chapter 5         
Ahh the speculum - you caught that moment exactly!  It was good that Buffy opened up to the counsellor, I wasn't sure she would.  And she can actually empathise a little with Spike!  A definite step in the right direction.
Heh, I'm all about the nitty-gritty and the uncomfortable details. I'm glad you're enjoying the story!

06/23/2008 06:21 am
Chapter 5         
love how real spike and buffy are acting. everyone really, is really well in character! great job. go buffy for getting help!
can't wait to see what will happen next.
~dl
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it!

06/23/2008 03:54 am
Chapter 5         
Yeah, I hit refresh on blooshedverse alot, so what. 

Enjoyed this chapter, as always.  ^_^

Liked the counseling/doctor scene.  I enjoyed the contrast of a not good counselor with a much better one.  I also liked how Riley's acceptance was addressed.  Non-accusatory from counselor and deep-seated Buffy, but still laced with fear of his opinion.

Personally, I think their relationship may be too new and shallow to weather that kind of emotional storm.  They had difficulties with understanding each other and communicating even into S5, so early on in S4 ..... ::shrugs::  Not that there would necessarily be bitterness or hard feelings between them, just that it might become a relationship that you avoid so much that it eventually deteriorates and fades away.

“You know how it feels to be raped?” she challenged him, her voice laden with sarcasm. She was pretty sure Spike’s only experience was on the other side of that situation. 

I got stalled on this line for a good five minutes.  It's not that it's not in character, because it IS (in the always think the worst about Spike way).   ^^;  It's just ... if Buffy's SO SURE that he's a rapist, why does she seem to feel comfortable with him?

Even if she feels secure in the whole "can't hurt me, he's an easy kill" thing, wouldn't there be a certain creepy crawling feeling of disgust?  Of this rapist looks at me like that unknown guy who raped me does?  I'm not expressing it well, but it's just ... why?
LOL, you know, you can actually get update notifications emailed to you. Saves you the trouble of hitting refresh so much. :)

Regarding Spike's experience with rape, I don't think Buffy truly thinks of him as a rapist. She obviously knows he's done bad things in his past, but mostly, she was trying to push him away, and she played the odds - which is more likely, that a vampire would be the rapist or the victim? Remember that when she realized she'd been raped, her first instinct was to blame him. I think that right there pretty much indicates she thought he was capable of it.

The thing is, the whole arc of their relationship is that she starts to see him differently because of the rape, both because of his kind reaction and because the chip prevents him from hurting her. So, the more time she spends with him, the less she's going to have those kinds of thoughts about him.

All4Spike
06/23/2008 03:36 am
Chapter 5         
So the councellor puts forward the theory that Riley might not be the right relationship for Buffy at the moment. Hip Hip Hooray! If Buffy can't trust him with the knowledge, or he can't handle it, the councellor is clearly correct.
I love the way Spike switches smoothly from 'if anybody's going to kill you it's going to be me' to 'I feel your pain'.
Thanks! I'm glad you liked it. :)

10/18/2008 01:12 am
Chapter 4         
Loved this part:

“No,” she said aloud. “Just wanna do my sacred duty, you know? I’m Duty Girl.” After a pause, she added, “Hey, you think I could convince Spike to do something evil? Then I could go stake him.”

“I’m sure it wouldn’t take much convincing,” Giles muttered. “But, ah, let’s not go around encouraging it, shall we? You know, if you’re so anxious to do something, you could start indexing the Watcher’s diaries. I’ve been meaning to organize them for some time now, but –”


Good to see her going for counseling.
Thank you! Glad you liked that bit. :)

06/22/2008 09:41 pm
Chapter 4         
This is a wonderful story! Congrats on your noms for it at Sunnydale Memorial Fanfiction Awards.
Thanks so much! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

sirc
06/22/2008 08:51 pm
Chapter 4         
Well done!
Thank you!

Trench
06/22/2008 06:39 pm
Chapter 4         
Well, I'm glad she's getting help. She really should have told Riley about what happened though. Can't wait for the update!
Thanks! I think it'll take a little bit more work to get her to confide in Riley, but maybe she'll get there...

June
06/22/2008 04:26 am
Chapter 4         
Another great chapter. It didn't occur to me before, dealing with just the act and the consequences and what Buffy's feelings are, but when she didn't have an appetite... Now I'm worried she might have to find out she's pregnant. This story is very real and touching, even the supernatural element of Buffy being the Slayer and her views on souls can be translated to how other women in such a situation would feel and react.
Great chapter and looking forward to more. And when is Spike going to get more involved!!
Well, once she goes to counseling, she'll have to get tested for pregnancy and STDs, so we'll learn the answer to that one soon. As for Spike, he will be back next chapter. :) Thanks for the review!

06/22/2008 03:38 am
Chapter 4         
I'm glad she's giving the counseling a try. 

I always thought the group needed it now and again, even if they would have had to talk in code.
Ha! So did I! They should get some sort of Council therapist or something, so that they could have someone to talk to...

06/22/2008 02:29 am
Chapter 4         
this is really an excellent update -  the sense of shame, even guilt, is one of the primary ways that sex offenders use to control their victims - an especially in children.  The feel such high degrees of shame and fear that their parents won't love them anymore or that somehow their parents will be angry - children and women often will burden themselves with so much misplaced shame.  Many times women in exactly the same circumstance that you placed Buffy in will also feel that they are directly responsible since they were drinking -

The scene with Riley and the going to his room is great - perfect use of trauma and trigger.

Well Done -
Thank you for the review! I'm so glad you liked it!

All4Spike
06/22/2008 01:27 am
Chapter 4         
I understand her reluctance to confide in Riley, but not a good idea to be all avoidy with Giles. Good move going to the counsellor, though. As long as she goes through with it...
I think, if it were me, parents (or in Giles' case, parental figure) would be one of the hardest people to tell. I can't even imagine talking to my dad about sex in general, let alone rape.

Thanks for the review!

06/21/2008 10:32 pm
Chapter 4         
awww... poor buffy. =( the git who did that to her deserves a fiery death. along with angel the retard and riley the idiot. but that's just because i don't like them. =P
Anyways... great chappie. can't wait to see what's to come.
Uh... I'll have to disagree with you there. I like Angel just fine, and Riley's not so bad, either. Not even sure what Angel has to do with this story....

Glad you enjoyed the chapter!

Buffyconvert
08/13/2009 09:24 pm
Chapter 3         
Several great lines in this chappie - "You
re meant to slay them not beat them, not beat 'em to a bloody pulp" "Oh, like you've never beaten someone up for the hell of it". 
Thanks! Glad you liked them. :)

sirc
06/22/2008 08:44 pm
Chapter 3         
Great chapter!
Thanks!

Shiko
06/19/2008 09:49 pm
Chapter 3         
oops, that was me ^^" sorry

06/19/2008 09:48 pm
Chapter 3         
I was a little uncertain, how this would turn out, but I'm very interested now and I will keep reading. Good work!
Thanks! Glad you're giving it a try.

06/19/2008 04:41 am
Chapter 3         
And so starts the paranoia. 

=D  I like.
Thanks! Glad you liked it.

06/19/2008 01:51 am
Chapter 3         
Excellent - your treatment of Buffy's emotional trauma and how she is manifesting it reads very real - another woman might be so traumatized that she would be unable to continue with her everyday life - but because she is The Slayer I think it would give her that needed strength.  Of course, who knows what a woman feels like unless this happens to you or someone you are close with or work in a field that tries to help these victims.

Appreciate the update -
Thanks! I think it's probably different for every woman, but Buffy is certainly a unique situation. Hard to say whether being the Slayer will make it easier to cope, or whether that will bring too much additional shame, because it's expected that she can defend herself against something like this.

06/19/2008 12:01 am
Chapter 3         
Awww... c'mon Spike! do the comfort thing like you're dying to! poor Buffy...
can't wait for more!
~liz
Heh, Spike's not quite there yet - still walking the line on being evil...

Michelle D.
06/18/2008 08:44 pm
Chapter 3         

You are doing a fantastic job with the story. This chapter brought tears to my eyes. 

Buffy’s feelings are very realistic. As a slayer, she is not accustomed to being powerless. That combined with not knowing who did this to her puts her in a vulnerable state. When she feels that way, she goes into denial and suppresses her emotions, which usually explode in a violent way. 

I also like Spike’s awkwardness in dealing with Buffy.

Aww, thank you! I'm glad you're enjoying it. I think Buffy's denial will definitely have repercussions...

All4Spike
06/18/2008 02:32 pm
Chapter 3         
Buffy, Buffy, Buffy... {shakes head sadly} Queen of denial... 'If I don't tell people, it didn't happen...'
She's gotta explode soon... and of course Spike will be there to pick up the pieces...
Buffy really seems to function by convincing herself of something, regardless of what the reality is. The problem arises when reality crashes in and she can't maintain the self-deception.

Deb
06/18/2008 12:21 pm
Chapter 3         

You are taking on a frighteningly real subject of date rape and handling the aftermath with care, concern and striking emotional upheaval.  I can't even begin to imagine the victimization and helplessness.  Buffy, however strong physically, will have to work her way through this process of recovery of her sense of self and security. 

Interesting in the latter part of the fic that Spike is the one to limit her retribution on the vampire.  He shows concern, but he's not handling her with kid gloves.  He cares, but he doesn't attempt to comfort.  Will she find this to be helpful to not be coddled in the aftermath? 

I think that you've got the makings of a great fic in progress here.  Looking forward to your updates.   

Thank you so much for the thoughtful review! I'm glad that you're enjoying it, and that you appreciate the way it's being handled.

I think Spike is in a unique position here - he cares, but not to the point of smothering her, and she has some respect for him, but doesn't feel the need to keep up appearances the way she needs to reassure her friends that she's okay. Hopefully, he'll be good for her.

06/18/2008 10:19 am
Chapter 3         

I hope Spike finds the nerve to help Buffy - she's in dire need!

Yes, she is! Thanks for the review.

06/18/2008 06:04 am
Chapter 3         
I'm really enjoying it. Looking forward to more!
Thank you! Glad you like it.

06/18/2008 05:35 am
Chapter 3         
really like this so far, llike how you didn't let spike give her comfort so fast.
Thanks! Since it's season 4, it's hard to see Spike warming up to Buffy too easily, even if he does sympathize with her situation.

Buffyconvert
08/13/2009 09:15 pm
Chapter 2         
     Oh no! Buffy should never have suspected Spike Even if he was all evil and Grr!, he'd've wanted her conscious.
Well, she thinks he's evil, so who knows what he might have done...

10/18/2008 12:55 am
Chapter 2         
Very raw and realistic chapter. 

I want to strangle Willow for saying something to Xander.  It wasn't her place and it was just very wrong.  But at the same time, it was in character her for her to do so. 
Thanks for the review! I'm sure this won't be the only time in this fic you want to strangle someone, lol.

TwilightChild
06/22/2008 04:52 pm
Chapter 2         
  I enjoyed this chapter very much, especially Spike's very realistic reaction.  He's still unaware of his feelings, but the tough Slayer surface had been cracked, and something changed in her so dramatically that it affected him whether he knew of his feelings or not. 
Thanks for the review! I'm glad you're enjoying it.

Inge
06/17/2008 04:02 pm
Chapter 2         
I love you for writing this. I miss my Veronica fix terribly, and now you've combined it with one of my other favorites.

I'm loving this!
Thank you! Glad you're enjoying it. :)

06/17/2008 10:04 am
Chapter 2         
Buffy's reaction is all too believable - what a nightmare.   But would you leave an unconscious friend alone in a house full of pissed-up party guys?
Well, if everyone did the right thing, there wouldn't be much of a mystery, would there? :)

06/17/2008 06:55 am
Chapter 2         
This fic is heartbreakingly raw, you have done an excellent job of portraying Buffy's anguish, you will be sure to win a lot of awards for this one.
Aww, thank you! I never really set out to write an award-winning fic, but I do tend to go for ideas that are unique or a new spin on things, and I haven't really seen anything like what I'm trying to do, so we shall see. :)

06/17/2008 04:33 am
Chapter 2         
horrible subject - but I look forward to seeing how you handle this theme -  I'm sure that it must be extremely uncomfortable to write -  Good Luck with it
Thank you... it's been difficult at times, struggling to make Buffy's experiences seem genuine and trying to be respectful of the subject matter. I'm counting on the readers to let me know if I'm reflecting reality. :)

06/17/2008 04:04 am
Chapter 2         
*singsong*  The vampire knows /something/. 

Very nice portrayal of her reactions. 

D=  I, however, am for the swift hammer of justice.  And when no justice is available, there is always vengeance.
Hmm... but what does the vampire know? And will he tell?

Thanks for the review! :)

Buffyconvert
08/13/2009 08:41 pm
Chapter 1         
     It's definitely scary so far. Is Riley going to 100% our enemy this time or is redeemable as a frenemy?
Heh, I'm not much for making any of the regulars 100% the enemy - they're more fun if they're multi-layered. :)

10/18/2008 12:46 am
Chapter 1         
I'm finally getting a chance to read some fan fic and this one was at the top of my list to start. 

Great first chapter.   I'm off to read the next.
Awesome! Always glad to steal some of your free time. :)

08/22/2008 05:53 am
Chapter 1         
Hey, sweetie...just letting you know that I've started reading. You probably won't hear from me again until I'm all caught up (lazy, I know...but I hate interrupting the flow).

Anyway, the story is off to a great start. You have me aching for poor Buffy, what with her reaction to Riley's words and then how she must be feeling when she realised what actually happened...

Off to read some more.
Hi there! Glad you see you popping in on this story. :) Thanks for commenting!

Kate
06/17/2008 01:14 am
Chapter 1         
I'm very excited by this story and the dramatic storytelling potential.  I love VM and that episode is a great one for inspiration.  Looking forward to seeing how this plays out plotwise and emotionally.
Thank you! I'm glad you like it so far.

06/16/2008 07:52 pm
Chapter 1         
Oh Eowyn, I know this is gonna be fantastick! I can't wait for Buffy to find out who it was that drugged and raped her, she is gonna make him wish he had never been born. Great start!
Lis
Heh, thanks! So glad you're enjoying it. :)

06/16/2008 09:33 am
Chapter 1         

A real nightmare for Buffy!

Yes, it certainly is...

06/16/2008 03:35 am
Chapter 1         
Whoa ... that was excellent.  Innocent on the first part, not a single suspicioun to be had.  Then morning with rationalization of "nothing bad happening here" capped off with the sideswipe into badness.  o.o  Excellent.

More please.
Thanks for the review! Glad you enjoyed it.

June
06/16/2008 03:26 am
Chapter 1         
Wow, a great setup for the rest of the story and seeing where people are at. I can't wait to see more, and how Buffy and Riley deal with this. The poor girl has had such a rough time with her love life we can only hope she gets some good Spuffy lurving in her future!

Great start and really want to read more!
Thanks! I'm glad you like it so far.