The Bloodshedverse :: Spuffy with Bite

08/21/2009 06:47 pm

WOW - excellent chapter - great blending of Buffy's horrendous past, this mysterious evil entity and their also mysterious connection. And the twist on the claiming, also very effective - while it makes perfect sense that her blood is no longer normal, I was still surprised with your treatment of the claim.

I do however have one small thing that I found discomforting in this chapter - small but still enough for it to something that I personally found you might want to consider. Your voice for Buffy is excellent but we they few times that you give her a more "normal series Buffy voice" it seems a little out of character for your Buffy that is still terrified and traumatized by her tortured experience with Lukas. This "series Buffy voice" acted like a break in the flow of the intensity of your scenes.

It has to be a difficult element for writers, how to keep their Buffy's voice and combined it with the Buffy series voice. The reaction that I felt, for instance when you have her say "let's do this," is that your Buffy is a lot more confused and terrified by her experiences to so quickly fall back into Buffy Slayer voice. I only mention this as something for you to maybe consider - or you could just think that I am totally nuts - but one thing is that I am so very much enjoying your story that I care enough to mention it.

Looking forward to your next chapter -

*grins* What can I say, I like to surprise people! The evil entity is fighting their connection because it threatens its existence, and it uses all available, including turning Buffy's blood into the black sludge when Spike tried to claim her. You could notice the blood was its normal red colour when Buffy touched the bite mark with her fingers.

I don't think you're nuts! lol I really apprecaite your honest opinion. I'm a new writer so I'm always up for a good advice or constructive criticism! It makes me improve, and since I'm writing it for you guys it's just fair you'd tell me what do you want me to keep my eye on. I'll try to beware of it, even though I can't guarantee it won't slip my attention sometimes! But I'll try! :)

Thanks for a lovely review Sylvia!!! :)