Wow!!!! Amazing. I'm on tenterhooks to find out what happens next!

I had to read this a couple of times to get the exact moment when it changed from Buffy's memories of what she had been feeling, and her feelings of the moment. It looks like it was when Faith said, "Five by five" and Buffy remembered talking about what that meant with Spike. Suddenly she knows she's not five by five, and that it the real beginning of the tale.

I actually think that Buffy's memories of events immediately post-Chosen are colored now by her extreme guilt. I have also tried to find my way around the gallows humor and relief of everybody after the battle, and put it down partially to shock and adrenaline let-down. I suspect that things got more serious within hours. We'll never know, though, dammit. Also: gallows humor is all part of the daily death-dealing. I can see the point.

Anyway, it makes sense that Buffy would refuse to forgive herself (for awhile, anyway) because Spike would forgive her. He could never forgive himself for his perceived crimes against her, even when she could forgive him herself. (Which totally happened, off screen.)

I am interested by Willow's parallel experience, and hope that having a confidant will help Buffy deal with what's to come.

"What’s he look like?”

“Some Billy Idol wannabe. What?” asked Philippa, surprised, when both Buffy and Willow jerked around to stare at her.

Hee! The chase is on! Its so nice to have another from you!

 I am very intrigued! Can't wait for more :)

 Whao, I must say, I'm totaly in love with this new story of yours.
I actually registered in bloodshedverse just to be able to ubmit a review cause obviously i love all your fanfic and this one isn't an exception.

I cried like a baby, what Buffy feels It's so sad ans you write it so that I almost can feel it, it's beautiful...

Well I'm sorry for the very short review but I have to read the next chatper :)
 And thanks for this fabulous story and the good reading time it gives me 

YAy! New story!

Thank you! Someone finally understands how God damn callous the lot of them were at the end of Chosen. That smile was the last straw to me- I have never really been able to like Buffy since. None of them seemed to care about who died, they were just so happy that no more hellmouth, except ANDREW of all people- he was the only one completey torn up. Argh! End the series on a high note my ass! It depressed me more than anything- apparenlty the sacrfices of SPike, Anya and the Potentials meant nothing profound for them!

*deep breath*...sorry, but I just rewatched season seven a little while ago, and it's got me rilled. And thank you for the Buffy introspection- it's about freaking time she took some blame! Okay...I feel the need to rant again. lol. I have so many Buffy issues...

Oh? What is Spike up to? I like michevious Spike- now I'm trying to find out if it's an evil(ish) Spike or not, since I can't see the Spike that just died teasing like that. Actually, I can't excatly see the old Spike doing it either...hmm...

Great chapter. I'm very sad since I won't be here the next few days to read yuor next ones. But I will get to them, I swear, the minute I get home!

Oh, very interesting beginning. I am so looking forward to where you're taking us!

I was very unhappy with the callousness shown the bye Scoobies on their way out of Sunnydale, and it was good to see a possible explanation for it.

I think that Buffy was way overdue for some introspection, and I enjoyed seeing as it should have been.

Looking forward to the next installment!

great, spike's an ass again, i hope he didn't come back evil, but it seems like he might not even know who she is.  and what the hell is dawn's problem?  oh, yeah, she really proved she cared about spike in the end, right.  she only cares now because he's dead.

OH HOLY SHIT.

So delighted to see a new story by you!  I love that Buffy finally realizes what she's done.  I can't wait to see how she reconnects with Spike!  Great start!