I really hope Hallie comes through and decides to let Spike have a go at Xander.  He deserves to be beat.  Repeatedly.  Willow also needs to get a slap.  I still feel for Buffy -- you've pretty accurately described how an assault victim responds -- the need for comfort, the severe washing, the denial. . . but don't you think our poor girl has had enough?

Sick, sick Xander, he's vile.

Good job with the characters thoughts. Xander is very well done, how he tries to think himself out of guilt. Halli could be a way for Spike to get the chip out. He shouldn't kill Xander though, that would be wrong and in the end just make things harder for Spike and Buffy.

It's a shame that Buffy was still too traumatised to confront the Scoobies, but it probably more true to character that way. She's not the strong slayer at this point but a very hurt and scared young woman who has been assaulted by someone close to her whom she trusted. It takes a long time to come back from that kind of thing.  Buffy really needs to contact Dawn though... and of course Xander is still rationalising his actions away...

yay, an update. Buffy's reaction to her friends was heartbreaking. How long is the gang going to stay clueless? Could there have been a camera at Xander's place that filmed "that night"? Is Buffy's grief somehow going to end up sending a vengeance demon after Xander?
I hope Buffy or Spike reach out to Dawn, she doesn't deserve to be in the dark the way the others do because she's just worried for her sister, and like you said, the others have their own motives, except Tara.