Have to say I'm pretty ambivalent about this fic.  I think it lacked moral center.  Using Harmony so callously just seemed a bit out of character for all of them.  Then there's the whole bit about William torturing Riley and somehow not having any issues with this...  while, somehow his mother would have 'gone mad' if the poor, pure thing had killed him?  No, I don't think so.  Twice you made Buffy into a useless, spineless thing...  when you used an innocent girl (yes, even as a vampire) to avoid her being part of the fight, and had Willow misuse magic to control her and keep her out of the fight...  She and Spike were always best fighting side by side.

then, there's the whole 'let's torture Riley' thing.  Why not turn him into a rat too?  Yes, he's a bad guy, but compared to Walsh, he's more misguided than evil.  I don't like his character, but the whole torture thing is a bit much. 

Still, everyone in this story was out of character and at times a mary sue, so it's not a surprise.  The story was basically  a 'fix it' fic, which can be done well, but you simply manuevered and shifted around people like puppets, without really respecting their personalities. 

Also, lots of holes... Where did Cordy go?  And Gunn?  And Wesley?  What happened with Joyce?  When did she die?  They were back in Sunnydale, and she wasn't part of it... yes, we all know she died, but if you're writing a story, you're supposed to not just ignore important things that happen during the period of the story... no, you didn't have to cover season 6- william's adulthood, but since this was set somewhere at the end of season 4-early season 5, you can't just ignore stuff, but yet later on, it's happened...  in your story, it's obvious that joyce was dead, but no idea how.... 

Anyway, I didn't stop reading, mostly b/c i have a hard time stopping reading a story once I start, but though you have good ideas, I don't think you followed them through cogently and I think that you had characters do things they would never do in canon WITHOUT showing how they could get there...  Fanfic is all about things happening that don't happen in canon -- i have no problem with that... but you have to show how and why people get to the point where they are able to do things the 'original' wouldn't have done. 

C-

Enjoyed reading this very much - I started it once before when it was not completed and it was great reading the completed work.  I like how you ended it with his finally getting back into the final timeline that was created. 

 

***tears***  wow! what a great story!... i really enjoyed reading it...i love happy endings...  GREAT JOB!!! hope you'll write some more fics like this.  thanks for sharing this wonderful story...

Thanks for the wonderful story - first time I read it you still had it as a WIP - great to to able to read it all the way through this time -

WOW! I just discovered this story and it's freaking amazing. Such wonderful imagery and emotions throughout each chapter. I really enjoyed reading this. You have a great talent for details and characterizations. Very interesting story ideas. I loved it! :)

OMG I loved the story!!!! ;-)

*Tear* awwwwwwww that's like *tear* one of the best story's ive ever read *tear's....* it was awsome *pats u one the back* well done!!!!!

Loved it...sorry, I tend to hold out and review at the end of the tale, often.
The bad, first: a good number of typos or words spelled incorrectly, and I believe a few incorrect words (but I might be wrong on that since I'm waiting til the end to review...)
The Mediocre: OK, and you know it...the last chap WAS pretty far-fetched....but gotta say, hey, I'm an old-timey fan of Superman comics, back when superheroes NEVER died, were always faithful to their standards, their dogs and cats lived forever or were sent to pocket dimensions to wait and live so they didn't age or something or til cures could be found, yadda yadda...I think this is pretty important to certain types of fiction, that our heroes don't die. It seemed a public standard literally until the late 80's in general...perhaps the death of Supergirl being the first I noticed and mourned for years over...no, I never did get over it, and yes, my bedroom slippers are blk ones w/"Supergirl" logo on 'em; but it seemed to start a trend, a wave, and perhaps this is a reflection of our society in general, that we now not only allow, but expect our heroes to die. OK, rant on that done, other than that, just a decade over the combined hits of Elvis dying and Donny Osmond getting hitched almost did me in....
As to your birdie, I'm so sorry. I know how that hurts, and I know it may've helped a little to have immortalized Trouble in it's honor. I raise parrots, have owned and kept them, bred, shown, etc for about 21 yrs now, plus, more really, but I can only commiserate with you and tell you to keep the love there in your heart for your birdie. No, it doesn't really get better, how can it? It does get different. Don't NOT get another because you're afraid it will hurt. Remember to evaluate EACH on their own merits and not to compare the new with the former.
The Good: Enjoyed the tale...long Not the longest, mind you), drawn out, strung out in parts, but hey, we need that sometimes in our fic. We NEED the happy, even sappy ending. We need the nobody dies (other than the ones ya want...tho' bone to pic...tho' Harm is just about useless AND worthless, she isn't a totally despised character...I'd've used the 'bot for a Buffy sub). Quentin did indeed deserve it in this one. Interesting turn on Miss Edith. I gather the spark referred to her soul. No regrets, no overwhelming guilt for her, like with Angel, and somewhat w/Spike? As to partnering her w/Angel, sometimes I've thought that I'd like to see this. Other times, that I felt that Angel's penance from the PTB would be to have charge and care of Dru, to truly rehab her thru the soul process and to have to do it right, and to care for her in perpetuity.
Tho', also, I think I'd like to see her free and independant...how special she could be with that. I figured sans Doyle, that Cordy and Angel would hook up at the end of your story---remember, I believe, anyway (read too much the past weekend...) that didn't one of Dru's predictions say something to the effect that Cordy had better get used to changing diapers or something like that?Loved seeing Dru good, but not TOO good. Not so "good" when it was time to mete out family justice on Riley.
As to Riley, usually can't stand his ass...tho' I don't totally hate him. Just don't think he belongs with Buffy. Especially if un-enhanced. He is too narrow minded and most authors paint him this way, a victim of said narrowmindedness gone overboard. Ergo, many evolve him into a truly evil or degenerate character. Your evolution painted him as a gradual process, tho' bigoted (she'd been touched by a vamp=unclean, but good enough to remain friends with), he did try to help her at first. He was just too narrow minded to allow any leeway in his world-view of where humans and demons fell in that view, and left no place for anything in between.
And Wesley---you didn't bring in enough of his big-egghead into the planning portion after you introduced him into the story! After he grew some cajones and became "rogue" he actually was quite useful after all in the research and planning dept.
Liked the developement of Dawn. Always wish she'd been able to develop the powers of her keyness...how helpful THAT could be...also, I'm guessing that Glory was able to recognize her as marked as well? For what is a god but a glorified demon? I'm guessing the whole Buffy swandive didn't occur after all, and that the appearance of Dawn suddenly per the monks was the consequence necessitated by the PTB from the great magicks used by WM in turning back time...the first time?
Not sure how I feel about Wm. becoming a vamp, especially as well as in the final outcome of the story. And c'mon--with the medical world finally getting off it's collective asses and figuring out that viruses and cancers have a causal relationship, at least in some cases, as we know so far, that in 15-20 yrs, doncha think there might've been a cure for leukemia found? You mentioned he could've been cured with his mother's blood as an infusion or somesuch in the first travel back thru time...
And what happened to the request for a golden retriever or somesuch?
Muchless having a girl in his room...now I cannot at all see Spike saying NO to that one...he of all people would not want his son to die a geeky virgin...
Overall, enjoyed it greatly. Keep it up, whip up on your betas, some for just the simples of spelling, but a few places on plot consistency, and just keep on keepin' us fic junkies fed...
Thanks!
K.

Just have to say that I loved the story... I just couldn't stop reading it.... You have done a wonderful job in writing this and keeping it flowing... I look forward to reading more stories like this one..
Is there going to ve a sequal to this?? maybe one following William's life from where this one leaves off???

oh that was so wonderful to read, I meant to review each chapter but I just wanted to read it all...

and now i have the snuffles, it was such a perfect ending to a perfect story.

:)

Just wanted to let you know that I liked the story from the beginning to the end.

Opal Thank You so Much or this wonderful Story I cried, I laughed I enjoyed thoroughly. Thanks Again. Keep up The Awesome work.

"immortal canine." loved it. thanks for the fun read.

It's really the end, already?? I love the happy end! It's an absolutely wonderful story and enjoyed every word I read! Thank you for your great work!

I just wanted to thank you for all the tears you made me shed. It was very liberating and my heart is full of joy. This story will stay with me forever.

for a purely selfish reasons I hate to see this story end but it was a great ride. I am just glad that William was able to help his family and that they are together again.

In a way it is always sorry to see a story end *sigh*
Loved the idea to keep the house and the use of the crypt. And no less the journal.
You know the thought that both Dawn and Trouble are still alive is comforting. Thanks for writing this story. And I really like your end. :))

lovely ending...looking forward to a sequel, that will be nice...loved the brief overview of events to come -- or past, depending on how you look at it :) great job, love :)

I love happy endings and this one was perfect. Thanks for the great story.

Loved it. The whole story :D

great ending opal! loved it!

Thanks for all your hard work on this. It's been a sweet ride.

I'm so sorry for your loss. It's hard to lose our pets, they become such a big part of our lives, and we'll miss the love that they've given us and we in return. It's been an amazing fic and one that I had enjoyed fully. Couldn't of ended much better. Thank you for bringing it to us to enjoy, thank you and looking forward to more, Thanks Opal.

Awwwww, happy sappy ending! And funny you don't want dog to die but Giles is okay, lol *nudge nudge*

ahhh sniff sniff that was a beuutiful ending sweetie! I loved this story! sniff so sweet and wonderfuKL!

Congratualtions of finishing the story. Glad it all turned out well for our heroes.

Great ending to a great story.

Awwwwwwww, I LOVED the ending. It was sweet and sappy, hee hee hee. So sorry about the birdie hun. *huggles* I remember when my bird died, I was like 7, but it was still hard. This was really good, I was smiling through the whole chappie. I love happy, fluffy, sweet endings! Great story Opal, thans for writing and sharing it with us! Look forward to your new one.