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Victims Of Fate by ya_lublyu_tebya
Chapter: Moving
GrammarGal
05/28/2008 02:01 am
Just started reading your fic today and... OMG, it is awesome! Really beautifully written and totally addictive (I'm probably going to be glued to the computer today until I'm all caught up!).
Just one thing I wanted to point out, and really I hope you don't take offence, I really eman well! I've noticed a few mistakes in your use of the word 'quip'. For example, you have written:
" 'Could things get any more confusing?' she quipped sadly"
A quip is a smart, witty remark - Buffy makes a lot of quips that are funny, particularly when slaying. But you seem to pop the word in in replacement of words like 'said'... there are many sad, touching moments in your fic, and then the word 'quip' comes out of nowhere, and doesn't suit the tone of the scene.
Again, I hope you don't get offended by this, I just wanted to alert you to it in case you didn't realise...
Can't wait to read more of your great work!
Just one thing I wanted to point out, and really I hope you don't take offence, I really eman well! I've noticed a few mistakes in your use of the word 'quip'. For example, you have written:
" 'Could things get any more confusing?' she quipped sadly"
A quip is a smart, witty remark - Buffy makes a lot of quips that are funny, particularly when slaying. But you seem to pop the word in in replacement of words like 'said'... there are many sad, touching moments in your fic, and then the word 'quip' comes out of nowhere, and doesn't suit the tone of the scene.
Again, I hope you don't get offended by this, I just wanted to alert you to it in case you didn't realise...
Can't wait to read more of your great work!
Off the top of my head, I think most of the 'quips' are actually 'I'm dying inside but I'll smile and make quips and everything will be fine' moments... But you're probably right. {with a name like GrammarGal I'm pretty sure you are. :-) ] I'll look out for that! Thank you for pointing that out -not offended in the slightest. (This is why I should really pull my finger out and get a beta!)
Also, thank you so much for your lovely words of support. I'm glad you're enjoying it and that you gave it a chance. Hope you enjoy the rest!
Also, thank you so much for your lovely words of support. I'm glad you're enjoying it and that you gave it a chance. Hope you enjoy the rest!
05/25/2008 04:49 am
enjoy the way buffy is relating to spike. very good read, thank you.
05/23/2008 10:04 am
It's really hard to just switch off your feelings for someone, especially when you've only had a very short time to do. Buffy's doing pretty well, all things considered.
05/20/2008 08:28 pm
They will both be better emotionally AND safer there...glad they've moved.
Already he is far more concerned with Buffy's feelings than Angel is. There is a fundamental difference between the two MEN not just the two vampires. Buffy has already had clues....hope she puts on r best Nancy Drew hat and sees them!
Excellent.
KAthleen
Already he is far more concerned with Buffy's feelings than Angel is. There is a fundamental difference between the two MEN not just the two vampires. Buffy has already had clues....hope she puts on r best Nancy Drew hat and sees them!
Excellent.
KAthleen
05/20/2008 07:57 pm
Buffy really opening up - that's something very new.
05/20/2008 07:49 pm
Thanks for the 2 updates, loving her realizations.
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