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Doing It Right
“I am not your girl!” Buffy cried, launching herself at Spike as he fell to the floor, her fists lashing out before she could even think.
“You don’t have a soul.” Punch.
“There is nothing good or clean in you.” Punch.
“You are dead inside.” Punch.
“You can’t feel anything real.” Punch.
“I could never be your girl.”
Her fists continued, beating his pale skin as his face slipped back into his human guise. And still she could not stop. Emotions that she had bottled up for so long came spilling out, turning into anger that she unleashed on the vampire. And he took it all, not even putting up the slightest bit of resistance. Growing weary, her punches slowed, and she gradually took in the horror of what she had done. Slower, slower, hardly grazing him now, until finally they came to rest against his chest, her wide eyes taking in the mess she had made of his beautiful face. And still he was looking at her like she was the most precious thing on this earth.
It was too much and she sagged, a sob ripping from her as she sank her head against his chest, her whole body trembling. She couldn’t stop the onslaught and she cried helplessly, her sore hands fisted in his shirt. In the midst of her pain, she felt his arms come round her, heard his whispered words of comfort against her hair- slow and painful words- and it just made her cry harder. She buried her head against him, wanting it all just to go away.
“I can’t…that woman…and I…I’m sorry…I’m…bad.”
The words tumbled from her lips in between sobs, a jumble of nonsense, straight from her aching heart. She was a monster.
“I can’t do this…anymore. I…not me…I can’t.”
“Shh, love. It’s okay. Everythin’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I’ll make it right.”
The emotion in his words made her calm for a moment and she raised teary eyes to his, once again wincing at the bruises on his beautiful skin. His one good eye met hers in a blaze of blue, all his love pouring out over her, and he raised a hand to her hair.
“We’ll make it right,” he whispered, “Whatever you want, love. Can’t bear to see you hurtin’ like this.”
She sniffed and looked at him gratefully as she pushed herself off him carefully and got to her feet.
Pausing though, she knelt beside him and wrapped her arms around him, helping him to his feet.
“Buffy?” he questioned.
“Let me help you,” she whispered, draping one arm over her shoulder as she wrapped an arm around his waist.
“M’fine, love. I’ve had worse beatings.”
“Not from me,” she choked out, daring to meet his gaze for a few seconds before she looked away. He stopped though, drawing her to a halt with him.
“What’s going on, love?”
She turned to him, unable to look at him directly because of what she had done to his face.
“We’ll talk later, okay? Just, please, let me help you.”
He said nothing but draped his arm over her shoulder again and they moved off along the alley. They had just got out into the street and she glanced over to the police station, but Spike’s arm tightened around her and with a tiny nod, they moved on, only to be stopped by the appearance of Xander in front of them.
“Hey guys, did you know-“
He trailed off as he finally took in the damage to the vampire’s face and he frowned.
“What happened?”
Buffy tensed and looked to Spike, before turning back to her friend with resolve.
“I-“
“Demon, ‘course. Bit too quick for me. Luckily, the Slayer turned up.”
“Oh.”
Buffy said nothing, amazed that he had lied to cover up what a monster she was.
“You were saying?”
“They found a girl. Washed up in the river.”
Buffy tensed again but felt Spike’s arm tighten around her shoulder again and the gesture gave her some comfort.
“I…It was…an accident.”
“Yeah, that’s what they’re saying,” Xander remarked, “But you know she was Warren’s girlfriend, right?”
“What?”
“Katrina something.”
“Warren,” Buffy whispered, remembering her brief meeting with Katrina. Maybe, just maybe, it hadn’t been her fault at all.
“Xander,” she spoke up, some of her confidence returned, “Can you get back to gang? Find out when Katrina went missing. And try get Willow to find out about time-bending spells.”
“Right, will do. Where you going? To kick Warren’s ass?”
“No. I’m going to help Spike. I’ll meet you tomorrow morning in the shop, okay?”
Xander looked like he wanted to protest but wisely said nothing, especially when his eyes rested on the injured vampire again.
“Right, to the research. See ya.”
He disappeared along the street and Buffy wrapped her arm around Spike’s waist again and began to move.
“You don’t need to help me, love. I’ll be fine.”
“I do,” she answered firmly, “Let me do this.”
He said nothing and they moved along through the dark streets to the cemetery, finally reaching his crypt.
They went in and she got them both down into the lower level, guiding him to sit on the bed.
“Have you got any first aid stuff?”
“Should be some in that chest,” he answered painfully, pointing to a chest to one side as he shrugged off his duster.
She found some cloth and antiseptic and moved to sit beside Spike, her eyes moving over the bruises. Being as gentle as she could, she began to clean his face, hoping to at least minimise the damage she had caused.
“Why did you lie for me?” she asked quietly, not daring to meet his eyes.
“Didn’t want you getting worked up over nothin’. And didn’t need the Whelp making you feel worse.”
“Spike!” she gasped, astounded, “I beat the crap out of you.”
“And I let you. You gotta take all that tension out on someone, and I’d rather it was me.”
“Spike,” she breathed, raising wide eyes to his, “You…I don’t deserve you.”
His one good eye widened in surprise and she smiled wearily, finally replacing the cloth. He looked marginally better, but she knew one thing that would have him healed up in no time. She shifted closer, pulling her hair to one side as she reached out and touched his bruised face.
“You need blood to heal.”
“No, Slayer,” he all but growled, “I won’t do it.”
“Do I have to force you?”
“Slayer-“
“Let me help. Let me make it right.”
He made no further protest as she guided his head towards her neck, holding her breath as she felt his tongue pass over her skin. She felt the slightest nick and then the gentle pull of his mouth and she was amazed at how pain-free the whole thing was.
He pulled back, watching her with his one good eye, his hand resting on her arm still where he had steadied her.
“You din’t have to.”
“I did. Now, you need to rest.”
“You going?” he asked tautly, even as he moved to lie on the bed, stretching his long legs out on the bed.
“No,” she answered firmly, slipping his heavy boots off, “I’m staying.”
“What?”
She smiled as she raised her gaze to him and pulled the covers from underneath him.
“I’m staying.”
“With me?”
“Yes. We…I want to talk to you. After you’ve rested.”
“I’m fine-“
“Tomorrow morning, we’ll talk.”
He frowned as she kicked off her shoes and moved under the covers with him, curling up next to him.
“Slayer, you okay?”
“I think I’m getting there.”
He frowned but soon exhaustion overcame him and he fell asleep beside her and she soon followed him.
“You don’t have a soul.” Punch.
“There is nothing good or clean in you.” Punch.
“You are dead inside.” Punch.
“You can’t feel anything real.” Punch.
“I could never be your girl.”
Her fists continued, beating his pale skin as his face slipped back into his human guise. And still she could not stop. Emotions that she had bottled up for so long came spilling out, turning into anger that she unleashed on the vampire. And he took it all, not even putting up the slightest bit of resistance. Growing weary, her punches slowed, and she gradually took in the horror of what she had done. Slower, slower, hardly grazing him now, until finally they came to rest against his chest, her wide eyes taking in the mess she had made of his beautiful face. And still he was looking at her like she was the most precious thing on this earth.
It was too much and she sagged, a sob ripping from her as she sank her head against his chest, her whole body trembling. She couldn’t stop the onslaught and she cried helplessly, her sore hands fisted in his shirt. In the midst of her pain, she felt his arms come round her, heard his whispered words of comfort against her hair- slow and painful words- and it just made her cry harder. She buried her head against him, wanting it all just to go away.
“I can’t…that woman…and I…I’m sorry…I’m…bad.”
The words tumbled from her lips in between sobs, a jumble of nonsense, straight from her aching heart. She was a monster.
“I can’t do this…anymore. I…not me…I can’t.”
“Shh, love. It’s okay. Everythin’s gonna be okay. I’m here. I’ll make it right.”
The emotion in his words made her calm for a moment and she raised teary eyes to his, once again wincing at the bruises on his beautiful skin. His one good eye met hers in a blaze of blue, all his love pouring out over her, and he raised a hand to her hair.
“We’ll make it right,” he whispered, “Whatever you want, love. Can’t bear to see you hurtin’ like this.”
She sniffed and looked at him gratefully as she pushed herself off him carefully and got to her feet.
Pausing though, she knelt beside him and wrapped her arms around him, helping him to his feet.
“Buffy?” he questioned.
“Let me help you,” she whispered, draping one arm over her shoulder as she wrapped an arm around his waist.
“M’fine, love. I’ve had worse beatings.”
“Not from me,” she choked out, daring to meet his gaze for a few seconds before she looked away. He stopped though, drawing her to a halt with him.
“What’s going on, love?”
She turned to him, unable to look at him directly because of what she had done to his face.
“We’ll talk later, okay? Just, please, let me help you.”
He said nothing but draped his arm over her shoulder again and they moved off along the alley. They had just got out into the street and she glanced over to the police station, but Spike’s arm tightened around her and with a tiny nod, they moved on, only to be stopped by the appearance of Xander in front of them.
“Hey guys, did you know-“
He trailed off as he finally took in the damage to the vampire’s face and he frowned.
“What happened?”
Buffy tensed and looked to Spike, before turning back to her friend with resolve.
“I-“
“Demon, ‘course. Bit too quick for me. Luckily, the Slayer turned up.”
“Oh.”
Buffy said nothing, amazed that he had lied to cover up what a monster she was.
“You were saying?”
“They found a girl. Washed up in the river.”
Buffy tensed again but felt Spike’s arm tighten around her shoulder again and the gesture gave her some comfort.
“I…It was…an accident.”
“Yeah, that’s what they’re saying,” Xander remarked, “But you know she was Warren’s girlfriend, right?”
“What?”
“Katrina something.”
“Warren,” Buffy whispered, remembering her brief meeting with Katrina. Maybe, just maybe, it hadn’t been her fault at all.
“Xander,” she spoke up, some of her confidence returned, “Can you get back to gang? Find out when Katrina went missing. And try get Willow to find out about time-bending spells.”
“Right, will do. Where you going? To kick Warren’s ass?”
“No. I’m going to help Spike. I’ll meet you tomorrow morning in the shop, okay?”
Xander looked like he wanted to protest but wisely said nothing, especially when his eyes rested on the injured vampire again.
“Right, to the research. See ya.”
He disappeared along the street and Buffy wrapped her arm around Spike’s waist again and began to move.
“You don’t need to help me, love. I’ll be fine.”
“I do,” she answered firmly, “Let me do this.”
He said nothing and they moved along through the dark streets to the cemetery, finally reaching his crypt.
They went in and she got them both down into the lower level, guiding him to sit on the bed.
“Have you got any first aid stuff?”
“Should be some in that chest,” he answered painfully, pointing to a chest to one side as he shrugged off his duster.
She found some cloth and antiseptic and moved to sit beside Spike, her eyes moving over the bruises. Being as gentle as she could, she began to clean his face, hoping to at least minimise the damage she had caused.
“Why did you lie for me?” she asked quietly, not daring to meet his eyes.
“Didn’t want you getting worked up over nothin’. And didn’t need the Whelp making you feel worse.”
“Spike!” she gasped, astounded, “I beat the crap out of you.”
“And I let you. You gotta take all that tension out on someone, and I’d rather it was me.”
“Spike,” she breathed, raising wide eyes to his, “You…I don’t deserve you.”
His one good eye widened in surprise and she smiled wearily, finally replacing the cloth. He looked marginally better, but she knew one thing that would have him healed up in no time. She shifted closer, pulling her hair to one side as she reached out and touched his bruised face.
“You need blood to heal.”
“No, Slayer,” he all but growled, “I won’t do it.”
“Do I have to force you?”
“Slayer-“
“Let me help. Let me make it right.”
He made no further protest as she guided his head towards her neck, holding her breath as she felt his tongue pass over her skin. She felt the slightest nick and then the gentle pull of his mouth and she was amazed at how pain-free the whole thing was.
He pulled back, watching her with his one good eye, his hand resting on her arm still where he had steadied her.
“You din’t have to.”
“I did. Now, you need to rest.”
“You going?” he asked tautly, even as he moved to lie on the bed, stretching his long legs out on the bed.
“No,” she answered firmly, slipping his heavy boots off, “I’m staying.”
“What?”
She smiled as she raised her gaze to him and pulled the covers from underneath him.
“I’m staying.”
“With me?”
“Yes. We…I want to talk to you. After you’ve rested.”
“I’m fine-“
“Tomorrow morning, we’ll talk.”
He frowned as she kicked off her shoes and moved under the covers with him, curling up next to him.
“Slayer, you okay?”
“I think I’m getting there.”
He frowned but soon exhaustion overcame him and he fell asleep beside her and she soon followed him.
Making A New Start
She woke early the next morning, her mind instantly full of all the things she wanted to say and do today. Today was going to be the first day of her new life. It would be hard, but so worth it in the end.
She rolled over to face the sleeping vampire next to her, taking in his healing bruises. She had been so wrong to hurt him like that and she had no idea how she could make it up to him. In fact, what she was planning to do would probably hurt him even more, even if he understood her motivation.
She sighed, smiling softly as she pushed a wayward curl from his forehead. He mumbled something in his sleep and then those blue eyes were on her, bright with confusion- obviously at finding her still at his side.
“Buffy?”
“I’m still here.”
“I know,” he whispered, a smile twitching at his lips, “Just not sure why.”
“I’ve got some things I want to say. Need to say.”
“Am I gonna like it?”
“If you really care about me, I hope you’ll understand.”
“Sounds ominous.”
She smiled softly and reached out to take his hand, somehow needing the reassurance of his touch to continue.
“I don’t want to be the woman I became last night. I’m not that person…the kind of person that takes things out on people who care about me. I…I’m so sorry for what I did to you-”
“S’fine, Buffy, I-“
“It’s not fine, Spike. I hurt you…and I don’t even know why I did it. I was wrong, so wrong. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I…I can’t go on like this.”
“You’re not happy.”
“No, I’m not,” she agreed, squeezing his hand in hers, “And that’s my fault too. Everything’s just been really hard and I let things get on top of me.”
“Counting me as one of those ‘things’?” he asked with a tired version of his usual leer.
“No. You…you helped. Kept me alive…grounded, if that makes sense.”
“But?”
“But I can’t go on like this, living like this.”
“What you saying, Buffy?”
She heard the fear in his voice and met his bright gaze.
“I…you mean something to me, Spike. But I can’t…I think I need some space. I need to make things right again…make me right again.”
“Nothin’ wrong with you, pet.”
“We both know that’s not true. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I need to find myself again. Which just sounds stupid-“
“I understand, love.”
“Really?” she asked quietly, meeting his eyes again, afraid at what she might see there- something to hold her back, maybe.
“Really,” he answered, brushing a hair out of her face, “Not saying it’s going to be easy, being away from you. But if it’s what you want, what you need…”
“I do.”
“Then I’m gone.”
“Not completely gone though?” she asked, panic sweeping through her, “You’ll stay?…Be here?”
“Always. However much I love having you in my bed, I want to see you happy…and I think I much prefer this new Buffy already.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, she hasn’t hit me yet.”
She blanched and then looked at him earnestly, squeezing his hand in hers.
“I’ll never hit you again, Spike. I was wrong to do it. No more, I promise.”
He smiled and she moved to sit, still facing him.
“I better get to the shop, see what they’ve found. You rest though, ‘kay? And I’ll be back to check on you later.”
“Don’t have to, pet.”
“I’ll be back later,” she repeated firmly.
He smiled and she pushed herself to her feet.
“Thank you, Spike. For everything.”
She smiled somewhat shyly and then finally climbed out of his bedroom.
~*~*~*~*~
First stop on the first day of her new life was the Doublemeat Palace. Starting a new life definitely meant it was time for a job that wasn’t completely soul-destroying. After a very short conversation with the manager, she left the restaurant with a smile and a bounce in her step. New Buffy was going to get a proper job that did not involve serving food.
She made her way finally to the Magic Box, going in and smiling at the sight of her friends in the midst of a doughnut-break.
“What’s the what?” she asked, moving in and sitting on a chair.
“The girl’s been officially identified as Katrina. We’re still trying to find Warren though,” Willow reported, “He’s one well-hidden little man.”
“Well, keep trying. He won’t get away with this.”
“How’s Spike?” Xander asked and Buffy wasn’t the only one staring at him in surprise. He shrugged, wincing slightly. “What?! He looked really rough.”
Now it was Buffy’s turn to wince but she hid it, turning to the group.
“He’s healing. He should be okay soon.”
“Do you know what demon it was yet?” Willow asked.
“Err, no. Not yet,” she answered awkwardly, an image of Spike’s bruised face flashing before her eyes.
Taking a deep breath, she looked at her friends again and cleared her throat.
“I, err, I want to talk to you guys.”
“What’s wrong?” Willow asked worriedly.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Things are…things are going to get right, I hope.”
“Anyone else not making sense of the Buffy-speak?” Dawn commented.
Buffy smiled and took another calming breath.
“Things are going to change. I’m going to change.”
“Change?” Willow echoed.
“Yeah. For too long I’ve been…wallowing. Things haven’t been right…with me. But I haven’t even tried to fix it. I’ve just kept it all to myself…lashing out at the people who care about me.”
She saw Spike’s bruised face again and took another breath before continuing.
“You’ve been a bitch,” Dawn exclaimed, causing the others to gasp at her abruptness. Buffy, however, grimaced and nodded.
“I know. That’s why I want to change. I don’t want to be that person.”
“Why were you then?” her sister challenged.
“I’m not sure. I just couldn’t cope with…with everything really. Coming back, trying to live again, having to work and pay the mortgage and…just everything.”
“You never said anything,” Willow got out quietly.
“I know. I never wanted you guys to worry. So I…I never showed you how hard it was for me. Especially at the start.”
“Is that why you told Spike about heaven and not us?” Dawn asked.
“Yes,” she admitted softly, meeting her sister’s gaze, “He was the only person I could talk to. I guess because I didn’t really care about hurting him. That’s another thing I really need to work on.”
She frowned, thinking of the beating she had given him, and shook her head, looking to her friends again.
“Everything’s going to change. I’m going to be a better person.”
She rolled over to face the sleeping vampire next to her, taking in his healing bruises. She had been so wrong to hurt him like that and she had no idea how she could make it up to him. In fact, what she was planning to do would probably hurt him even more, even if he understood her motivation.
She sighed, smiling softly as she pushed a wayward curl from his forehead. He mumbled something in his sleep and then those blue eyes were on her, bright with confusion- obviously at finding her still at his side.
“Buffy?”
“I’m still here.”
“I know,” he whispered, a smile twitching at his lips, “Just not sure why.”
“I’ve got some things I want to say. Need to say.”
“Am I gonna like it?”
“If you really care about me, I hope you’ll understand.”
“Sounds ominous.”
She smiled softly and reached out to take his hand, somehow needing the reassurance of his touch to continue.
“I don’t want to be the woman I became last night. I’m not that person…the kind of person that takes things out on people who care about me. I…I’m so sorry for what I did to you-”
“S’fine, Buffy, I-“
“It’s not fine, Spike. I hurt you…and I don’t even know why I did it. I was wrong, so wrong. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I…I can’t go on like this.”
“You’re not happy.”
“No, I’m not,” she agreed, squeezing his hand in hers, “And that’s my fault too. Everything’s just been really hard and I let things get on top of me.”
“Counting me as one of those ‘things’?” he asked with a tired version of his usual leer.
“No. You…you helped. Kept me alive…grounded, if that makes sense.”
“But?”
“But I can’t go on like this, living like this.”
“What you saying, Buffy?”
She heard the fear in his voice and met his bright gaze.
“I…you mean something to me, Spike. But I can’t…I think I need some space. I need to make things right again…make me right again.”
“Nothin’ wrong with you, pet.”
“We both know that’s not true. I don’t want to be this person anymore. I need to find myself again. Which just sounds stupid-“
“I understand, love.”
“Really?” she asked quietly, meeting his eyes again, afraid at what she might see there- something to hold her back, maybe.
“Really,” he answered, brushing a hair out of her face, “Not saying it’s going to be easy, being away from you. But if it’s what you want, what you need…”
“I do.”
“Then I’m gone.”
“Not completely gone though?” she asked, panic sweeping through her, “You’ll stay?…Be here?”
“Always. However much I love having you in my bed, I want to see you happy…and I think I much prefer this new Buffy already.”
“Why’s that?”
“Well, she hasn’t hit me yet.”
She blanched and then looked at him earnestly, squeezing his hand in hers.
“I’ll never hit you again, Spike. I was wrong to do it. No more, I promise.”
He smiled and she moved to sit, still facing him.
“I better get to the shop, see what they’ve found. You rest though, ‘kay? And I’ll be back to check on you later.”
“Don’t have to, pet.”
“I’ll be back later,” she repeated firmly.
He smiled and she pushed herself to her feet.
“Thank you, Spike. For everything.”
She smiled somewhat shyly and then finally climbed out of his bedroom.
~*~*~*~*~
First stop on the first day of her new life was the Doublemeat Palace. Starting a new life definitely meant it was time for a job that wasn’t completely soul-destroying. After a very short conversation with the manager, she left the restaurant with a smile and a bounce in her step. New Buffy was going to get a proper job that did not involve serving food.
She made her way finally to the Magic Box, going in and smiling at the sight of her friends in the midst of a doughnut-break.
“What’s the what?” she asked, moving in and sitting on a chair.
“The girl’s been officially identified as Katrina. We’re still trying to find Warren though,” Willow reported, “He’s one well-hidden little man.”
“Well, keep trying. He won’t get away with this.”
“How’s Spike?” Xander asked and Buffy wasn’t the only one staring at him in surprise. He shrugged, wincing slightly. “What?! He looked really rough.”
Now it was Buffy’s turn to wince but she hid it, turning to the group.
“He’s healing. He should be okay soon.”
“Do you know what demon it was yet?” Willow asked.
“Err, no. Not yet,” she answered awkwardly, an image of Spike’s bruised face flashing before her eyes.
Taking a deep breath, she looked at her friends again and cleared her throat.
“I, err, I want to talk to you guys.”
“What’s wrong?” Willow asked worriedly.
“Nothing. Nothing’s wrong. Things are…things are going to get right, I hope.”
“Anyone else not making sense of the Buffy-speak?” Dawn commented.
Buffy smiled and took another calming breath.
“Things are going to change. I’m going to change.”
“Change?” Willow echoed.
“Yeah. For too long I’ve been…wallowing. Things haven’t been right…with me. But I haven’t even tried to fix it. I’ve just kept it all to myself…lashing out at the people who care about me.”
She saw Spike’s bruised face again and took another breath before continuing.
“You’ve been a bitch,” Dawn exclaimed, causing the others to gasp at her abruptness. Buffy, however, grimaced and nodded.
“I know. That’s why I want to change. I don’t want to be that person.”
“Why were you then?” her sister challenged.
“I’m not sure. I just couldn’t cope with…with everything really. Coming back, trying to live again, having to work and pay the mortgage and…just everything.”
“You never said anything,” Willow got out quietly.
“I know. I never wanted you guys to worry. So I…I never showed you how hard it was for me. Especially at the start.”
“Is that why you told Spike about heaven and not us?” Dawn asked.
“Yes,” she admitted softly, meeting her sister’s gaze, “He was the only person I could talk to. I guess because I didn’t really care about hurting him. That’s another thing I really need to work on.”
She frowned, thinking of the beating she had given him, and shook her head, looking to her friends again.
“Everything’s going to change. I’m going to be a better person.”
Revelations and Banter
After her revelation, there was a period of quiet in the shop, but she knew she had her friends’ support. After all, everyone would be a lot happier if she was too. They still had Warren to deal with though and so they took to research again: mainly in the form of Willow’s internet hacking.
Towards nightfall though, as she was flicking through a dusty book looking for time-bending spells, Buffy could feel eyes on her. She looked up to find Xander and Anya in a whispered discussion- obviously about her.
Anya nudged Xander in the side and he moved towards Buffy, sliding into a chair next to her.
“So, Buffster…new start and all that?”
“That’s the plan,” she replied with a smile, placing the book down.
“Well, we were thinking…actually Anya was thinking-“
“Xander has a very attractive friend called Richard. We think you should date. He’s very sweet and not a vampire,” Anya remarked.
“Sorry?” Buffy asked, nonplussed.
“Well, with the new start and all…maybe you could, you know, try seeing someone new.”
“I’m sure you’ve been very lonely since Riley went. Except when you were dead, obviously,” Anya added.
“Richard is nice,” Willow spoke up, “I met him once.”
“Erm, when did I join this dating agency?” Buffy asked.
“We just thought…” Xander trailed off and Buffy bit her lip as she came to a decision.
“Look guys…I appreciate the thought and everything…but I…I haven’t been single as long as you think.”
“What?!”
She took a deep breath and crossed her arms somewhat defensively.
“You’re not going to like this…but…me and Spike-“
“Spike!” Xander burst out before she could even finish her sentence. Before he could continue though, Buffy held up a hand.
“I told you you wouldn’t like it. But…it happened. And I can’t change that now.”
“And are you still…?”
“No. Not anymore. Look, it was just…I can’t explain it. But that’s one of the reasons for New Buffy. I…Last night I did something I never thought I was capable of doing…I’m ashamed to even think of it.”
There was a moment of silence and she closed her eyes tightly, fighting for calm.
“It was you.”
Xander’s shocked voice drew her eyes to him and she saw understanding dawning in his expression.
“It wasn’t a demon, was it? You beat Spike.”
“Yes,” she whispered, “And it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done. He was trying to stop me from making a huge mistake…and I just lashed out at him. He didn’t even try to fight back.”
“Erm, Buffy, he couldn’t. The chip,” Willow remarked.
“Yeah…about that. The chip doesn’t work on me.”
“What?!” Xander exploded, “He’s dangerous again?!”
“No,” Buffy explained, “It doesn’t work on me. It works on everyone else but me.”
“Maybe it was a fluke.”
“There have been plenty of times that…Look, it doesn’t work on me. But it changes nothing. I still shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“So you don’t want to date Richard?” Anya asked abruptly.
“Err, no. I mean, invite him to my birthday if you want. But right now, I just kind of need to be alone, you know. I need to sort my head out.”
“And what about Spike?” Dawn asked and Buffy turned to meet her sister’s angry gaze.
“I can’t keep hurting him the way I have been…not just physically, either. I…I want to do right by him. He’s earned the same respect as everyone in this room.”
At Xander’s slight frown, she continued.
“I’m not saying you have to like him.”- Xander visibly relaxed at this. “Just…he deserves us to be civil, at least. He’s been good to me.”
“Do you mean that in a sexual way?” Anya piped up, receiving several aghast looks.
“Please don’t answer that!” Xander exclaimed, before turning to his fiancée, “Ahn, please.”
“I was just saying,” Anya mumbled, moving away back to the till.
“Moving swiftly away from that nasty conversational moment…I need to patrol and check on Spike.”
“Can I come?” Dawn questioned, already getting to her feet.
“I…I don’t think Spike would want you to see him like this.”
“I’ve seen him in a worse state, I’m sure,” Dawn countered, arms crossed.
“I know. But…okay, look, I don’t want you to see him like this. You’ll see him in a few days…on my birthday, I promise.”
“Maybe he won’t want to come to your birthday after you beat the hell out of him.”
Buffy winced but met her sister’s challenging gaze.
“Maybe not. But he’s invited anyway.”
Finally, seeing that her sister was halfway satisfied, Buffy turned and left the shop, knowing for certain that there would be more talk of her and Spike once she was out of earshot. She just hoped her friends would accept what she had said and they could all try to be nice to Spike.
~*~*~*~*~
She was at the crypt in no time and with a soft knock on the door, she pushed it open and made her way into the dimly lit room.
“Spike?” she called out, scanning the room.
“Downstairs, love.”
She moved to the ladder and climbed down into the lower level. She set foot on the ground again and turned, eyes going wide when her eyes met Spike’s. His face was almost completely healed now, only the bruise around his right eye remaining.
“Wow, you look better,” she breathed, her feet propelling her forward.
“Had a bit of help,” he murmured, his eyes falling on her neck, “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
They fell into an awkward silence and she realised it was because, for the first time in many months, she was not in Spike’s bedroom for sex. For the first time in a long time, she was coming to talk to him, as she had done shortly after her resurrection. She smiled and moved to sit next to him on the bed.
“This is weird, isn’t it?”
“It’s new, is all,” he answered, smiling softly.
“Yep. New Buffy…new Buffy and Spike. With less violence.”
“Happened to like the violence,” he commented with a smile, “Well, most of the time.”
“Just gonna have to go cold turkey, mister.”
“I’ll be a good boy scout, promise.”
“Were boy scouts even around when you were alive?”
“Well…not quite,” he admitted with a smile.
She smiled, amazed at their easy banter. Sure, her fingers were still itching to reach out and touch him and her whole body was buzzing with his nearness- but it felt good to sit beside him, chatting inanely. The way his eyes were shining told her he wasn’t too displeased with the situation either.
“So, err, you know it’s my birthday in a few days?”
“How you planning on celebrating this year? Apocalypse maybe?”
“I’m hoping for a regular gathering of the social kind. Hey, it might even work.”
He laughed and leaned back on his hands, watching her with that tilt of the head.
“So…I wondered if maybe you wanted to come?”
His eyes widened ever so slightly and she smiled softly.
“I mean, Dawn thinks you won’t want to come anyway, what with the fact that I beat you six ways from Sunday, but you know-“
“You told Dawn?”
His question stopped her in her rambling and she turned to him.
“Yeah. Well, actually the whole gang. It sort of came out among other revelations.”
“Other revelations?” he prompted.
“Well, erm, you know, like the fact that we…”
She waved a hand between them, not knowing how to describe their intimacy.
“Were involved in a sordid, passionate affair?”
“Something like that,” she replied with a smile.
Spike was silent and when she looked closely, she saw the stunned expression on his face.
“Wow, if I’d have known that would shut you up…”
He shook himself out of his daze and turned his bright eyes to hers.
“So, do I need to worry ‘bout my safety?”
“Hope not. I mean, obviously some weren’t exactly…pleased.”
He was silent for a few moments, seemingly absorbing that fact.
“Bet the Whelp threatened death by pointy stick.”
“Actually, no. I think he was just stunned. Plus, err, well he saw you…you know, last night. I guess it kind of took the wind out of his sails. How could he say you’re a monster when I-“
“You’re not a monster, Buffy,” he got out in a low voice, his hands catching hers, forcing her gaze to his.
“Felt like one last night.”
“Not you, love. You could never be a monster,” he murmured, sitting up and brushing a hand over her hair, “Too much good in you. Too much purity.”
“Thought you said I belonged in the darkness with you,” she murmured and her hesitant eyes rose to his.
“Well, I would say that, wouldn’t I?” he commented softly, “Just desperate to keep you in the dark with me.”
She smiled and squeezed the hand that was still in hers.
“So, you still haven’t answered my question. You gonna come to my birthday?”
“’Course I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it. The Slayer all grown-up.”
She poked her tongue out at him and he laughed, rubbing his hand over her arm as he released her.
“Do you even remember being twenty-one?” she teased.
“Now, pet, who says I even reached that milestone?”
In answer, she quirked an eyebrow at him, studying the lines of his face.
“Look a bit old for a teenager, Spike.”
“Thought I looked pretty good for my age actually.”
“Modest too…” she mumbled and they both laughed.
Some time later, she stretched and moved to get up.
“I better get going. I was planning a patrol tonight.”
“Want any company?”
“No,” she answered quickly, realising how her answer sounded just after and amending it, “You’re still in rehab, mister. No fighting ‘til you’re completely better.”
“Oh, I’m all better, pet. Can show you if you want?” he leered, eyes shining as he looked at her. She just rolled her eyes and laughed.
“No fighting, ‘kay?” she got out softly, meeting his gaze, “Wouldn’t want to have wasted my blood fixing you up.”
“Okay, Slayer, promise I’ll be a good boy. Even if I’m gonna get bored out of my head.”
“I’ll come by tomorrow…after patrol. If you want, I mean.”
“Buffy,” he called, stopping her before she could work herself up to a full-blown ramble, “Never gonna say no to your company, pet.”
She smiled softly and pushed herself to her feet.
“’Kay. See you.”
“Night, love.”
Towards nightfall though, as she was flicking through a dusty book looking for time-bending spells, Buffy could feel eyes on her. She looked up to find Xander and Anya in a whispered discussion- obviously about her.
Anya nudged Xander in the side and he moved towards Buffy, sliding into a chair next to her.
“So, Buffster…new start and all that?”
“That’s the plan,” she replied with a smile, placing the book down.
“Well, we were thinking…actually Anya was thinking-“
“Xander has a very attractive friend called Richard. We think you should date. He’s very sweet and not a vampire,” Anya remarked.
“Sorry?” Buffy asked, nonplussed.
“Well, with the new start and all…maybe you could, you know, try seeing someone new.”
“I’m sure you’ve been very lonely since Riley went. Except when you were dead, obviously,” Anya added.
“Richard is nice,” Willow spoke up, “I met him once.”
“Erm, when did I join this dating agency?” Buffy asked.
“We just thought…” Xander trailed off and Buffy bit her lip as she came to a decision.
“Look guys…I appreciate the thought and everything…but I…I haven’t been single as long as you think.”
“What?!”
She took a deep breath and crossed her arms somewhat defensively.
“You’re not going to like this…but…me and Spike-“
“Spike!” Xander burst out before she could even finish her sentence. Before he could continue though, Buffy held up a hand.
“I told you you wouldn’t like it. But…it happened. And I can’t change that now.”
“And are you still…?”
“No. Not anymore. Look, it was just…I can’t explain it. But that’s one of the reasons for New Buffy. I…Last night I did something I never thought I was capable of doing…I’m ashamed to even think of it.”
There was a moment of silence and she closed her eyes tightly, fighting for calm.
“It was you.”
Xander’s shocked voice drew her eyes to him and she saw understanding dawning in his expression.
“It wasn’t a demon, was it? You beat Spike.”
“Yes,” she whispered, “And it’s one of the worst things I’ve ever done. He was trying to stop me from making a huge mistake…and I just lashed out at him. He didn’t even try to fight back.”
“Erm, Buffy, he couldn’t. The chip,” Willow remarked.
“Yeah…about that. The chip doesn’t work on me.”
“What?!” Xander exploded, “He’s dangerous again?!”
“No,” Buffy explained, “It doesn’t work on me. It works on everyone else but me.”
“Maybe it was a fluke.”
“There have been plenty of times that…Look, it doesn’t work on me. But it changes nothing. I still shouldn’t have done what I did.”
“So you don’t want to date Richard?” Anya asked abruptly.
“Err, no. I mean, invite him to my birthday if you want. But right now, I just kind of need to be alone, you know. I need to sort my head out.”
“And what about Spike?” Dawn asked and Buffy turned to meet her sister’s angry gaze.
“I can’t keep hurting him the way I have been…not just physically, either. I…I want to do right by him. He’s earned the same respect as everyone in this room.”
At Xander’s slight frown, she continued.
“I’m not saying you have to like him.”- Xander visibly relaxed at this. “Just…he deserves us to be civil, at least. He’s been good to me.”
“Do you mean that in a sexual way?” Anya piped up, receiving several aghast looks.
“Please don’t answer that!” Xander exclaimed, before turning to his fiancée, “Ahn, please.”
“I was just saying,” Anya mumbled, moving away back to the till.
“Moving swiftly away from that nasty conversational moment…I need to patrol and check on Spike.”
“Can I come?” Dawn questioned, already getting to her feet.
“I…I don’t think Spike would want you to see him like this.”
“I’ve seen him in a worse state, I’m sure,” Dawn countered, arms crossed.
“I know. But…okay, look, I don’t want you to see him like this. You’ll see him in a few days…on my birthday, I promise.”
“Maybe he won’t want to come to your birthday after you beat the hell out of him.”
Buffy winced but met her sister’s challenging gaze.
“Maybe not. But he’s invited anyway.”
Finally, seeing that her sister was halfway satisfied, Buffy turned and left the shop, knowing for certain that there would be more talk of her and Spike once she was out of earshot. She just hoped her friends would accept what she had said and they could all try to be nice to Spike.
~*~*~*~*~
She was at the crypt in no time and with a soft knock on the door, she pushed it open and made her way into the dimly lit room.
“Spike?” she called out, scanning the room.
“Downstairs, love.”
She moved to the ladder and climbed down into the lower level. She set foot on the ground again and turned, eyes going wide when her eyes met Spike’s. His face was almost completely healed now, only the bruise around his right eye remaining.
“Wow, you look better,” she breathed, her feet propelling her forward.
“Had a bit of help,” he murmured, his eyes falling on her neck, “Thanks.”
“You’re welcome.”
They fell into an awkward silence and she realised it was because, for the first time in many months, she was not in Spike’s bedroom for sex. For the first time in a long time, she was coming to talk to him, as she had done shortly after her resurrection. She smiled and moved to sit next to him on the bed.
“This is weird, isn’t it?”
“It’s new, is all,” he answered, smiling softly.
“Yep. New Buffy…new Buffy and Spike. With less violence.”
“Happened to like the violence,” he commented with a smile, “Well, most of the time.”
“Just gonna have to go cold turkey, mister.”
“I’ll be a good boy scout, promise.”
“Were boy scouts even around when you were alive?”
“Well…not quite,” he admitted with a smile.
She smiled, amazed at their easy banter. Sure, her fingers were still itching to reach out and touch him and her whole body was buzzing with his nearness- but it felt good to sit beside him, chatting inanely. The way his eyes were shining told her he wasn’t too displeased with the situation either.
“So, err, you know it’s my birthday in a few days?”
“How you planning on celebrating this year? Apocalypse maybe?”
“I’m hoping for a regular gathering of the social kind. Hey, it might even work.”
He laughed and leaned back on his hands, watching her with that tilt of the head.
“So…I wondered if maybe you wanted to come?”
His eyes widened ever so slightly and she smiled softly.
“I mean, Dawn thinks you won’t want to come anyway, what with the fact that I beat you six ways from Sunday, but you know-“
“You told Dawn?”
His question stopped her in her rambling and she turned to him.
“Yeah. Well, actually the whole gang. It sort of came out among other revelations.”
“Other revelations?” he prompted.
“Well, erm, you know, like the fact that we…”
She waved a hand between them, not knowing how to describe their intimacy.
“Were involved in a sordid, passionate affair?”
“Something like that,” she replied with a smile.
Spike was silent and when she looked closely, she saw the stunned expression on his face.
“Wow, if I’d have known that would shut you up…”
He shook himself out of his daze and turned his bright eyes to hers.
“So, do I need to worry ‘bout my safety?”
“Hope not. I mean, obviously some weren’t exactly…pleased.”
He was silent for a few moments, seemingly absorbing that fact.
“Bet the Whelp threatened death by pointy stick.”
“Actually, no. I think he was just stunned. Plus, err, well he saw you…you know, last night. I guess it kind of took the wind out of his sails. How could he say you’re a monster when I-“
“You’re not a monster, Buffy,” he got out in a low voice, his hands catching hers, forcing her gaze to his.
“Felt like one last night.”
“Not you, love. You could never be a monster,” he murmured, sitting up and brushing a hand over her hair, “Too much good in you. Too much purity.”
“Thought you said I belonged in the darkness with you,” she murmured and her hesitant eyes rose to his.
“Well, I would say that, wouldn’t I?” he commented softly, “Just desperate to keep you in the dark with me.”
She smiled and squeezed the hand that was still in hers.
“So, you still haven’t answered my question. You gonna come to my birthday?”
“’Course I’ll be there. Wouldn’t miss it. The Slayer all grown-up.”
She poked her tongue out at him and he laughed, rubbing his hand over her arm as he released her.
“Do you even remember being twenty-one?” she teased.
“Now, pet, who says I even reached that milestone?”
In answer, she quirked an eyebrow at him, studying the lines of his face.
“Look a bit old for a teenager, Spike.”
“Thought I looked pretty good for my age actually.”
“Modest too…” she mumbled and they both laughed.
Some time later, she stretched and moved to get up.
“I better get going. I was planning a patrol tonight.”
“Want any company?”
“No,” she answered quickly, realising how her answer sounded just after and amending it, “You’re still in rehab, mister. No fighting ‘til you’re completely better.”
“Oh, I’m all better, pet. Can show you if you want?” he leered, eyes shining as he looked at her. She just rolled her eyes and laughed.
“No fighting, ‘kay?” she got out softly, meeting his gaze, “Wouldn’t want to have wasted my blood fixing you up.”
“Okay, Slayer, promise I’ll be a good boy. Even if I’m gonna get bored out of my head.”
“I’ll come by tomorrow…after patrol. If you want, I mean.”
“Buffy,” he called, stopping her before she could work herself up to a full-blown ramble, “Never gonna say no to your company, pet.”
She smiled softly and pushed herself to her feet.
“’Kay. See you.”
“Night, love.”
Friendship Restored
She let herself into the house and was heading straight for the stairs when she noticed a light on in the living room and turned to find Willow on the sofa, curled up, staring blindly at the television. Even just a week ago, she would have ignored her friend’s obvious despair but this was new Buffy and new Buffy was a good friend.
“Will?” she spoke up and the redhead turned to her, giving her a weak smile.
“Hi, Buffy.”
She moved into the living room and settled onto the other end of the sofa.
“Anything good on?”
“What?! Oh…no, not really.”
The two females fell silent and Buffy chewed on her lip- she had never been very good at the sympathetic friend thing.
“How are you, Wills?”
The redhead turned to her sharply, obviously surprised by her question. Then she smiled weakly and nodded.
“I…I’m okay.”
“Sure?” Buffy pressed.
The redhead turned to her, obviously hesitating to speak to her- but then finally she answered.
“I’m just finding it hard. Going cold turkey…and without Tara and…well, you know,” she trailed off, resting her chin on her knees.
“I know,” Buffy answered softly, moving closer and wrapping a hesitant arm around her friend.
Willow stiffened with her touch but then slumped against her, her hands clenched tightly in the soft material of her jumper.
“I don’t think I can do this, Buffy. It’s too hard.”
“I know it’s hard. But you can do it, Will, I know you can.”
“I never thought it would be this hard…giving up something that felt so good, you know?”
Buffy nodded and gave a little sigh.
“I know. Trust me, I know.”
Willow righted herself with her words and looked at her for a few moments before she spoke up.
“How’s Spike?”
“He’s, err, he's better,” Buffy answered, unable to suppress a flinch at the thought of his injuries- and her friends knowing about her violence.
There was an awkward silence and Buffy worried her lip, glancing at her friend out of the corner of her eye.
“Did I cause mayhem earlier?" she asked hesitantly, "I mean with, err, with telling you guys about…you know...me and Spike?”
Willow met her worried gaze and spoke up.
“It was a shock. I mean, we never…you two always fought. We never imagined that you might be…” Willow trailed off, turning pink.
“You don’t think I…that there’s something wrong with me?” Buffy asked, afraid of the answer she might get.
“What?! Of course not!” Willow exclaimed, turning to her in surprise, “I mean…you needed someone…and after what you’d been through…what I put you through…”
Willow trailed off awkwardly and Buffy watched her sympathetically before reaching out and taking her friend’s hand.
“I don’t…I don’t blame you, Will. I understand why you did it. It was…it’s been hard for me…but I don’t blame you.”
“You should. I was selfish and stupid,” Willow murmured sadly but Buffy halted her, squeezing her hand.
“Everyone makes mistakes. I’ve made plenty since I got back. I’ve hurt everyone around me.”
“But you’re changing that now.”
“I’m trying. It’s not all easy though. I know I’ve got a long way to go before Dawnie likes me again…and I’m sure you guys are fed up of me being distant…and with Spike…well, things are really with the awkward now.”
“Understandably.”
Buffy sighed and nodded, resting her head back on the sofa as she remembered how awkward it had been between her and the vampire earlier.
“How, err, how did things start between you two?”
Buffy’s head snapped up again at Willow’s hesitant question and she met her friend’s sheepish gaze. At first, she was reluctant but something urged her on- the desire to share what had been a secret for so long maybe.
Even as she went to speak, she realised this was the first time in a long time that she and Willow had had one of the girly talks that had so defined their earlier relationship- the last time had definitely been before her death.
Finally, taking a deep breath, she turned to her friend with a tiny smile and spoke up.
“You know…I’m not entirely sure. I mean, when I first came back, he was the only one I could talk to. I have no idea why.”
She gave a small smile and shook her head.
“Then Sweet came along and there was singing and dancing madness…and he stopped me from burning up. Then we were…we went outside…and there was singing and before I knew it, bam!, kissing.”
“Wow,” Willow breathed, “Good kissing?”
“God yes!” Buffy exclaimed, “Kissing Spike is just… Let’s just say that’s definitely a skill he’s really perfected in the last hundred years or so.”
Buffy gave a little girlish giggle- more out of nervousness than anything else- and Willow smiled softly.
“It was madness. Complete and utter, breathtakingly wonderful madness,” Buffy sighed, with somewhat of a wistful smile.
“Are you…Do you regret it? Finishing things?”
Buffy turned to her friend and shook her head sadly.
“I know it was the right thing to do. We were destroying each other. And I…my head’s just not in the right place right now. I’ve got so many other things to worry about…like finding a job.”
She groaned, having forgotten that she had quit her job just that morning.
“You quit the Doublemeat Palace?”
“Seemed like a good idea,” she commented with a little shrug.
Willow was silent for a moment and then she jumped up.
“Oh, I know! There’s a job in the college office! As a secretary!”
“Could be worth a try. I'd take anything right about now," she answered with a smile, "Except fast food."
Willow smiled widely in reply.
"Well, I better get to bed. It’s been a long day.”
She pushed herself to her feet but then paused and turned to her friend with a smile.
“Thanks for this, Will. We really should talk more often.”
Willow smiled and nodded.
“I’m always here,” she added.
“I know. Thanks, Will.”
“Will?” she spoke up and the redhead turned to her, giving her a weak smile.
“Hi, Buffy.”
She moved into the living room and settled onto the other end of the sofa.
“Anything good on?”
“What?! Oh…no, not really.”
The two females fell silent and Buffy chewed on her lip- she had never been very good at the sympathetic friend thing.
“How are you, Wills?”
The redhead turned to her sharply, obviously surprised by her question. Then she smiled weakly and nodded.
“I…I’m okay.”
“Sure?” Buffy pressed.
The redhead turned to her, obviously hesitating to speak to her- but then finally she answered.
“I’m just finding it hard. Going cold turkey…and without Tara and…well, you know,” she trailed off, resting her chin on her knees.
“I know,” Buffy answered softly, moving closer and wrapping a hesitant arm around her friend.
Willow stiffened with her touch but then slumped against her, her hands clenched tightly in the soft material of her jumper.
“I don’t think I can do this, Buffy. It’s too hard.”
“I know it’s hard. But you can do it, Will, I know you can.”
“I never thought it would be this hard…giving up something that felt so good, you know?”
Buffy nodded and gave a little sigh.
“I know. Trust me, I know.”
Willow righted herself with her words and looked at her for a few moments before she spoke up.
“How’s Spike?”
“He’s, err, he's better,” Buffy answered, unable to suppress a flinch at the thought of his injuries- and her friends knowing about her violence.
There was an awkward silence and Buffy worried her lip, glancing at her friend out of the corner of her eye.
“Did I cause mayhem earlier?" she asked hesitantly, "I mean with, err, with telling you guys about…you know...me and Spike?”
Willow met her worried gaze and spoke up.
“It was a shock. I mean, we never…you two always fought. We never imagined that you might be…” Willow trailed off, turning pink.
“You don’t think I…that there’s something wrong with me?” Buffy asked, afraid of the answer she might get.
“What?! Of course not!” Willow exclaimed, turning to her in surprise, “I mean…you needed someone…and after what you’d been through…what I put you through…”
Willow trailed off awkwardly and Buffy watched her sympathetically before reaching out and taking her friend’s hand.
“I don’t…I don’t blame you, Will. I understand why you did it. It was…it’s been hard for me…but I don’t blame you.”
“You should. I was selfish and stupid,” Willow murmured sadly but Buffy halted her, squeezing her hand.
“Everyone makes mistakes. I’ve made plenty since I got back. I’ve hurt everyone around me.”
“But you’re changing that now.”
“I’m trying. It’s not all easy though. I know I’ve got a long way to go before Dawnie likes me again…and I’m sure you guys are fed up of me being distant…and with Spike…well, things are really with the awkward now.”
“Understandably.”
Buffy sighed and nodded, resting her head back on the sofa as she remembered how awkward it had been between her and the vampire earlier.
“How, err, how did things start between you two?”
Buffy’s head snapped up again at Willow’s hesitant question and she met her friend’s sheepish gaze. At first, she was reluctant but something urged her on- the desire to share what had been a secret for so long maybe.
Even as she went to speak, she realised this was the first time in a long time that she and Willow had had one of the girly talks that had so defined their earlier relationship- the last time had definitely been before her death.
Finally, taking a deep breath, she turned to her friend with a tiny smile and spoke up.
“You know…I’m not entirely sure. I mean, when I first came back, he was the only one I could talk to. I have no idea why.”
She gave a small smile and shook her head.
“Then Sweet came along and there was singing and dancing madness…and he stopped me from burning up. Then we were…we went outside…and there was singing and before I knew it, bam!, kissing.”
“Wow,” Willow breathed, “Good kissing?”
“God yes!” Buffy exclaimed, “Kissing Spike is just… Let’s just say that’s definitely a skill he’s really perfected in the last hundred years or so.”
Buffy gave a little girlish giggle- more out of nervousness than anything else- and Willow smiled softly.
“It was madness. Complete and utter, breathtakingly wonderful madness,” Buffy sighed, with somewhat of a wistful smile.
“Are you…Do you regret it? Finishing things?”
Buffy turned to her friend and shook her head sadly.
“I know it was the right thing to do. We were destroying each other. And I…my head’s just not in the right place right now. I’ve got so many other things to worry about…like finding a job.”
She groaned, having forgotten that she had quit her job just that morning.
“You quit the Doublemeat Palace?”
“Seemed like a good idea,” she commented with a little shrug.
Willow was silent for a moment and then she jumped up.
“Oh, I know! There’s a job in the college office! As a secretary!”
“Could be worth a try. I'd take anything right about now," she answered with a smile, "Except fast food."
Willow smiled widely in reply.
"Well, I better get to bed. It’s been a long day.”
She pushed herself to her feet but then paused and turned to her friend with a smile.
“Thanks for this, Will. We really should talk more often.”
Willow smiled and nodded.
“I’m always here,” she added.
“I know. Thanks, Will.”
Sexual Tension & A Lapse
After a short patrol the next night, she soon found her feet leading her towards Spike’s crypt and smiled to herself- it was funny how willingly she found herself going to Spike now, when before she had spent all her time trying to resist that urge. She laughed lightly and pushed open the door, making her way into the crypt.
At first sight, there was no sign of Spike but she only rolled her eyes and dropped down into the lower level. She whirled round, ready to berate him for still being in bed, and came to a halt, her mouth open, ready to speak- but unable to do so.
The vampire was fast asleep, sprawled out on his front, the sheets hardly covering his naked form. She swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before calling out the vampire’s name.
“Spike?”
There wasn’t even the slightest hint of a reply from the vampire and she sighed. The sight of his smooth, pale skin was doing bad things to her wavering self-control.
“Spike,” she got out, a bit louder.
Still there was no reply and she moaned lowly. She didn’t want to resort to throwing things at him as she had once before, but her less violent method seemed to be having no effect.
“Spike, wake up. Please.”
This time he gave out a little moan and she gave a sigh of relief- only to frown again as he turned his head, settling back into the pillows and resuming his peaceful sleep. Wow, he really did sleep like the dead…unsurprisingly.
She was beginning to lose her patience but then with something close to a wicked smile, she moved a step closer to the vampire’s bed.
“Spike? I need you to wake up…” she cooed, “I’m all naked and I need you… I want you. Won’t you wake up and come-”
“Whoever put you back together is gonna get their head severely dented,” Spike murmured, not opening his eyes.
“I’m flattered. All that time together and you still can’t tell me from a robot.”
Spike groaned and opened his eyes slowly, meeting her amused gaze.
“True…the ‘bot wouldn’t have been standing all the way over there.”
He leered and she rolled her eyes, averting her eyes as he sat up, pulling the sheet up over his waist.
“Thanks for that, Spike.”
“Anytime,” he answered with a laugh and she finally dared to meet his gaze again, “So, how are you, Slayer?”
“I’m good. You look better.”
“Feel it.”
“Good.”
He pushed himself up, resting his head against the headboard as he studied her.
“How’s the new Buffy thing going?”
“Well…it’s…going. I’m, you know, trying to be nice…not mopey.”
He smiled softly and she found herself drawn closer, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
“And what’s the effect so far? Scoobies thanking their lucky stars?” he teased, retrieving a cigarette from his jeans’ pocket and placing it between his lips as he lit it.
“Probably. I think they prefer this Buffy. Also, you know, talking to them again.”
“Hope that doesn’t mean you don’t need my ear to chew on.”
At her raised eyebrow, he smiled and continued.
“Meant that non-literal like, love.”
She smiled and leaned back on her hands, meeting his soft gaze.
“Still like someone else to talk to.”
“Glad to hear it.”
They shared a soft smile and she found herself looking away quickly, caught up in his shining eyes.
“So, birthday preparations underway?”
“Something like that,” she answered with a wry smile, “Dawn’s kinda taken over all that. And everyone seems to inviting other people…Crazy.”
He laughed and she smiled, meeting his eyes again.
“You could bring Clem.”
“Think he’d like that. Very sociable type.”
“No poker though,” she added with a smile.
“Can’t promise anything but I’ll try to suppress my gambling urge for the night.”
“Thanks,” she said with a small laugh.
They fell into a not-quite-comfortable silence and she could feel his eyes on her as she stared mindlessly at her hands.
“So, Slayer…do I have permission to leave my crypt yet?”
She lifted her head and smiled.
“Well…I don’t know. Have you been a good boy?”
“Always,” he answered, doing that smiling thing with his tongue behind his teeth- and making her heart pound in all sorts of bad ways. Trying to cover her sudden excitement, she quickly spoke up.
“Well, I guess you do look better.”
“Can do a full inspection if you want.”
“Spike!” she exclaimed and he smiled, leaning back against the headboard.
“What’s up, Slayer?”
“No making comments like that.”
“Wouldn’t be very natural though, would it, Slayer?”
“Yeah, but it’d be good for my mental health,” she admitted with a sheepish smile.
“Poor Slayer. Going cold turkey not all it’s cracked up to be?” he teased, resting a hand low on his hip in a very deliberately suggestive way.
“You know, I always knew you were evil…”
He laughed and in one swift motion got to his feet, the sheet- thankfully- wrapped around his waist.
“Come on then, Slayer. Let me get some clothes on and we’ll go hunting.”
She got to her feet quickly and headed straight for the ladder.
“I…I’ll wait upstairs.”
As she disappeared into the safety of the upper level, she heard Spike’s low chuckle and felt herself blushing- shaking her head at her silliness even as she did.
~*~*~*~*~*
Spike finally appeared, fully-dressed, and they made their way out into the night. She couldn’t explain why, but the tension she had been feeling before just seemed to increase with every moment of awkward silence. She wasn’t entirely sure how to talk to Spike now- any time they had talked before, it had been laced with insults and innuendos. She frowned, biting her lip as they went along, praying for something to talk about. Luckily, Spike saved her by speaking up himself.
“So, how’s the wedding plans? Whelp chickening out yet?”
She found herself glaring at him.
“Of course he’s not,” she got out, “He’s all for marrying. Why would you say that?”
“Not sure the Whelp knows what he’s getting himself into.”
“’Coz you know so much about marriage, obviously,” she said sarcastically, folding her arms as she met his gaze.
“Well, no, but-“
“They’re getting married and that’s that,” she pronounced, almost daring him to challenge her.
“Just don’t think it’s that easy, pet.”
“They love each other, they want to get married. I don’t see how hard it is!”
Spike fell silent and she frowned, drawing to a halt and waiting for him to stop before she continued.
“I think it’s sweet. They love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together.”
Spike just raised an eyebrow at her as he fished a cigarette out of the packet and brought it to his lips.
“Just like you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Peaches?” he asked lowly, bringing his lighter to the cigarette and lighting in.
Her glare went up a notch and she found herself clenching her fists tightly to rein herself in.
“Well, this is real, isn’t it? They actually can be together. There’s nothing stopping them.”
“’Cept the Whelp’s many issues.”
“There are no issues. Why can’t you just be happy for them like a normal person?!” she cried, taking a step closer to him, feeling her anger threatening to overwhelm her, “Oh wait, you’re not a normal person. You wouldn’t know what it feels like.”
He threw the cigarette to the side at that and grabbed her arm, his eyes burning down into hers.
“Trying to tell me I don’t know what love feels like, Slayer?”
“Real love. Not obsession.”
“Seems to me I know more about it than you, Slayer. All your ideas about love are wrapped up in the great poofiness that is Peaches. You think it always has to be about hurting and self-sacrifice-”
“You don’t know what I felt!” she spat out, dragging her arm out of his grasp.
“Perfect little Romeo and Juliet scenario. And don’t even get me started on Soldier Boy!”
Before she knew what she was doing, she punched him square in the nose, sending him tottering backwards a few paces. Almost as soon as she had lashed out, she realised just what she had done and her hand went to her mouth in horror as he righted himself, bright eyes meeting hers as he held his nose.
“Oh God, Spike!” she got out, moving to his side, “I’m so sorry. I-“
“Leave it, Slayer,” he growled, moving his hand away from his bleeding nose, “Let’s get this patrol out of the way.”
“I-I didn’t mean to,” she stuttered, struggling to catch up with him as he strode off. He stopped abruptly and she almost collided with him as he spun back round to face her.
“Think you did, love. You always do. Argument not going the way you like, you resort to violence.”
“That- That’s not true!” she protested weakly.
“Bloody well is, and you know it!”
He tried to walk away again but she caught his arm, halting him.
“Please, I’m sorry. You’re bleeding, let me help you.”
“Don’t need your help, Slayer. Your help usually ends up with me bleeding.”
He shrugged her off and proceeded to walk away from her and she was left standing there, burning with outrage and shame.
After a few full minutes of not moving, she finally forced herself into motion and rushed in the direction the vampire had gone. Luckily, he had headed back in the direction of his crypt and she hoped to find him there.
She rushed towards the stone building and pushed the door open, breathing a sigh of relief as she spotted Spike. He was slumped in his armchair, his T-shirt held to his nose, his free hand resting on a bottle of whiskey to his side. He didn’t even look up as she came in, closing the door quietly behind her, and she bit her lip nervously.
“What do you want? Come to beat me some more?”
“No!” she ground out and then forced herself to calm down, “Look, I’m sorry. I really am. You’re not exactly making this easy for me though.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault you hit me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He glanced at her and then shook his head, pulling his T-shirt away and throwing it to the side.
“Just bugger off, Slayer.”
Taking a calming breath, she moved forward and stood in front of him, forcing him to look at her.
“I’m sorry, Spike,” she said softly, “I shouldn’t have hit you. I broke my promise and I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he mumbled.
“It’s really not,” she murmured, crouching down in front of him, her eyes going to the small patch of dried blood under his nose, “You need cleaning up.”
Before he had time to protest, she quickly got to her feet and found some cloth, which she dampened with a bottle of water from his refrigerator. Then she made her way back to him and crouched down in front of him, bringing the cloth to his face. She could feel his eyes on her but could not meet his gaze, too afraid of what she might see there.
She carefully cleaned the blood away and then sat back, her eyes on her hands.
“Buffy,” Spike murmured, his hand settling on her shoulder as he sat up a bit.
She forced herself to meet his gaze and was stunned by the tenderness she saw there- a tenderness she did not deserve.
“It’s okay, love,” he murmured, his hand stroking her shoulder gently, “Things just got a bit out of hand, yeah?”
“What’s wrong with me?” she sighed, twisting the dirty cloth together as her gaze fell to her hands again.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, love,” he whispered, hooking his finger under her chin and drawing her eyes to his, “Absolutely nothing, you hear me? You’ve just got a fiery temper.”
“I really don’t know why you’re so nice to me.”
“’Coz I’m in love with you, you silly girl. Can’t help myself.”
She raised her gaze to his again and gave him a tiny smile.
“I’m a horrible person.”
“No, you’re not. Look, love, I know you want to change, but it can’t just happen over night, trust me.”
She met his gaze and nodded slowly, thinking of his own change.
“Don’t you just want to give up sometimes?” she asked.
“Sometimes it was tempting, yeah. ‘Specially after you disinvited me from your house.”
“You did tie me up!” she exclaimed.
“I know,” he admitted with a tiny smile, “But it just made me wonder why I was even bothering, when I was never going to get any credit for it.”
She sighed, realising the truth of his words, and raised her hand hesitantly to his cheek, letting her fingers graze his cool skin.
“I’m sorry about that. Guess we didn’t really help you.”
“Not really. But I did it. And you can do it too.”
“You really think I’ve got it in me? I’m not sure I can be nice anymore…too much has happened.”
“Look, love,” he started, placing both hands on her shoulders, his blue eyes locked on hers, “I’ve never ever doubted your goodness for a minute. You’ve been through a lot…and it’s changed you…but you’re still you. You’re still good and kind and thoughtful.”
“And violent,” she added sadly.
“You’re the Slayer. It’s in your blood as much as it’s in mine. But sometimes you just have to ignore your blood.”
She smiled slightly and nodded, her gaze dropping to her hands and then meeting his once more.
“I am sorry.”
“I know, love. All forgotten. I know how hard it is to start over. Just a lapse, is all.”
She nodded and pushed herself to her feet.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
At first sight, there was no sign of Spike but she only rolled her eyes and dropped down into the lower level. She whirled round, ready to berate him for still being in bed, and came to a halt, her mouth open, ready to speak- but unable to do so.
The vampire was fast asleep, sprawled out on his front, the sheets hardly covering his naked form. She swallowed hard, taking a deep breath before calling out the vampire’s name.
“Spike?”
There wasn’t even the slightest hint of a reply from the vampire and she sighed. The sight of his smooth, pale skin was doing bad things to her wavering self-control.
“Spike,” she got out, a bit louder.
Still there was no reply and she moaned lowly. She didn’t want to resort to throwing things at him as she had once before, but her less violent method seemed to be having no effect.
“Spike, wake up. Please.”
This time he gave out a little moan and she gave a sigh of relief- only to frown again as he turned his head, settling back into the pillows and resuming his peaceful sleep. Wow, he really did sleep like the dead…unsurprisingly.
She was beginning to lose her patience but then with something close to a wicked smile, she moved a step closer to the vampire’s bed.
“Spike? I need you to wake up…” she cooed, “I’m all naked and I need you… I want you. Won’t you wake up and come-”
“Whoever put you back together is gonna get their head severely dented,” Spike murmured, not opening his eyes.
“I’m flattered. All that time together and you still can’t tell me from a robot.”
Spike groaned and opened his eyes slowly, meeting her amused gaze.
“True…the ‘bot wouldn’t have been standing all the way over there.”
He leered and she rolled her eyes, averting her eyes as he sat up, pulling the sheet up over his waist.
“Thanks for that, Spike.”
“Anytime,” he answered with a laugh and she finally dared to meet his gaze again, “So, how are you, Slayer?”
“I’m good. You look better.”
“Feel it.”
“Good.”
He pushed himself up, resting his head against the headboard as he studied her.
“How’s the new Buffy thing going?”
“Well…it’s…going. I’m, you know, trying to be nice…not mopey.”
He smiled softly and she found herself drawn closer, moving to sit on the edge of the bed.
“And what’s the effect so far? Scoobies thanking their lucky stars?” he teased, retrieving a cigarette from his jeans’ pocket and placing it between his lips as he lit it.
“Probably. I think they prefer this Buffy. Also, you know, talking to them again.”
“Hope that doesn’t mean you don’t need my ear to chew on.”
At her raised eyebrow, he smiled and continued.
“Meant that non-literal like, love.”
She smiled and leaned back on her hands, meeting his soft gaze.
“Still like someone else to talk to.”
“Glad to hear it.”
They shared a soft smile and she found herself looking away quickly, caught up in his shining eyes.
“So, birthday preparations underway?”
“Something like that,” she answered with a wry smile, “Dawn’s kinda taken over all that. And everyone seems to inviting other people…Crazy.”
He laughed and she smiled, meeting his eyes again.
“You could bring Clem.”
“Think he’d like that. Very sociable type.”
“No poker though,” she added with a smile.
“Can’t promise anything but I’ll try to suppress my gambling urge for the night.”
“Thanks,” she said with a small laugh.
They fell into a not-quite-comfortable silence and she could feel his eyes on her as she stared mindlessly at her hands.
“So, Slayer…do I have permission to leave my crypt yet?”
She lifted her head and smiled.
“Well…I don’t know. Have you been a good boy?”
“Always,” he answered, doing that smiling thing with his tongue behind his teeth- and making her heart pound in all sorts of bad ways. Trying to cover her sudden excitement, she quickly spoke up.
“Well, I guess you do look better.”
“Can do a full inspection if you want.”
“Spike!” she exclaimed and he smiled, leaning back against the headboard.
“What’s up, Slayer?”
“No making comments like that.”
“Wouldn’t be very natural though, would it, Slayer?”
“Yeah, but it’d be good for my mental health,” she admitted with a sheepish smile.
“Poor Slayer. Going cold turkey not all it’s cracked up to be?” he teased, resting a hand low on his hip in a very deliberately suggestive way.
“You know, I always knew you were evil…”
He laughed and in one swift motion got to his feet, the sheet- thankfully- wrapped around his waist.
“Come on then, Slayer. Let me get some clothes on and we’ll go hunting.”
She got to her feet quickly and headed straight for the ladder.
“I…I’ll wait upstairs.”
As she disappeared into the safety of the upper level, she heard Spike’s low chuckle and felt herself blushing- shaking her head at her silliness even as she did.
~*~*~*~*~*
Spike finally appeared, fully-dressed, and they made their way out into the night. She couldn’t explain why, but the tension she had been feeling before just seemed to increase with every moment of awkward silence. She wasn’t entirely sure how to talk to Spike now- any time they had talked before, it had been laced with insults and innuendos. She frowned, biting her lip as they went along, praying for something to talk about. Luckily, Spike saved her by speaking up himself.
“So, how’s the wedding plans? Whelp chickening out yet?”
She found herself glaring at him.
“Of course he’s not,” she got out, “He’s all for marrying. Why would you say that?”
“Not sure the Whelp knows what he’s getting himself into.”
“’Coz you know so much about marriage, obviously,” she said sarcastically, folding her arms as she met his gaze.
“Well, no, but-“
“They’re getting married and that’s that,” she pronounced, almost daring him to challenge her.
“Just don’t think it’s that easy, pet.”
“They love each other, they want to get married. I don’t see how hard it is!”
Spike fell silent and she frowned, drawing to a halt and waiting for him to stop before she continued.
“I think it’s sweet. They love each other and they want to spend the rest of their lives together.”
Spike just raised an eyebrow at her as he fished a cigarette out of the packet and brought it to his lips.
“Just like you wanted to spend the rest of your life with Peaches?” he asked lowly, bringing his lighter to the cigarette and lighting in.
Her glare went up a notch and she found herself clenching her fists tightly to rein herself in.
“Well, this is real, isn’t it? They actually can be together. There’s nothing stopping them.”
“’Cept the Whelp’s many issues.”
“There are no issues. Why can’t you just be happy for them like a normal person?!” she cried, taking a step closer to him, feeling her anger threatening to overwhelm her, “Oh wait, you’re not a normal person. You wouldn’t know what it feels like.”
He threw the cigarette to the side at that and grabbed her arm, his eyes burning down into hers.
“Trying to tell me I don’t know what love feels like, Slayer?”
“Real love. Not obsession.”
“Seems to me I know more about it than you, Slayer. All your ideas about love are wrapped up in the great poofiness that is Peaches. You think it always has to be about hurting and self-sacrifice-”
“You don’t know what I felt!” she spat out, dragging her arm out of his grasp.
“Perfect little Romeo and Juliet scenario. And don’t even get me started on Soldier Boy!”
Before she knew what she was doing, she punched him square in the nose, sending him tottering backwards a few paces. Almost as soon as she had lashed out, she realised just what she had done and her hand went to her mouth in horror as he righted himself, bright eyes meeting hers as he held his nose.
“Oh God, Spike!” she got out, moving to his side, “I’m so sorry. I-“
“Leave it, Slayer,” he growled, moving his hand away from his bleeding nose, “Let’s get this patrol out of the way.”
“I-I didn’t mean to,” she stuttered, struggling to catch up with him as he strode off. He stopped abruptly and she almost collided with him as he spun back round to face her.
“Think you did, love. You always do. Argument not going the way you like, you resort to violence.”
“That- That’s not true!” she protested weakly.
“Bloody well is, and you know it!”
He tried to walk away again but she caught his arm, halting him.
“Please, I’m sorry. You’re bleeding, let me help you.”
“Don’t need your help, Slayer. Your help usually ends up with me bleeding.”
He shrugged her off and proceeded to walk away from her and she was left standing there, burning with outrage and shame.
After a few full minutes of not moving, she finally forced herself into motion and rushed in the direction the vampire had gone. Luckily, he had headed back in the direction of his crypt and she hoped to find him there.
She rushed towards the stone building and pushed the door open, breathing a sigh of relief as she spotted Spike. He was slumped in his armchair, his T-shirt held to his nose, his free hand resting on a bottle of whiskey to his side. He didn’t even look up as she came in, closing the door quietly behind her, and she bit her lip nervously.
“What do you want? Come to beat me some more?”
“No!” she ground out and then forced herself to calm down, “Look, I’m sorry. I really am. You’re not exactly making this easy for me though.”
“Oh, so it’s my fault you hit me?”
“I didn’t say that.”
He glanced at her and then shook his head, pulling his T-shirt away and throwing it to the side.
“Just bugger off, Slayer.”
Taking a calming breath, she moved forward and stood in front of him, forcing him to look at her.
“I’m sorry, Spike,” she said softly, “I shouldn’t have hit you. I broke my promise and I’m sorry.”
“It’s fine,” he mumbled.
“It’s really not,” she murmured, crouching down in front of him, her eyes going to the small patch of dried blood under his nose, “You need cleaning up.”
Before he had time to protest, she quickly got to her feet and found some cloth, which she dampened with a bottle of water from his refrigerator. Then she made her way back to him and crouched down in front of him, bringing the cloth to his face. She could feel his eyes on her but could not meet his gaze, too afraid of what she might see there.
She carefully cleaned the blood away and then sat back, her eyes on her hands.
“Buffy,” Spike murmured, his hand settling on her shoulder as he sat up a bit.
She forced herself to meet his gaze and was stunned by the tenderness she saw there- a tenderness she did not deserve.
“It’s okay, love,” he murmured, his hand stroking her shoulder gently, “Things just got a bit out of hand, yeah?”
“What’s wrong with me?” she sighed, twisting the dirty cloth together as her gaze fell to her hands again.
“There’s nothing wrong with you, love,” he whispered, hooking his finger under her chin and drawing her eyes to his, “Absolutely nothing, you hear me? You’ve just got a fiery temper.”
“I really don’t know why you’re so nice to me.”
“’Coz I’m in love with you, you silly girl. Can’t help myself.”
She raised her gaze to his again and gave him a tiny smile.
“I’m a horrible person.”
“No, you’re not. Look, love, I know you want to change, but it can’t just happen over night, trust me.”
She met his gaze and nodded slowly, thinking of his own change.
“Don’t you just want to give up sometimes?” she asked.
“Sometimes it was tempting, yeah. ‘Specially after you disinvited me from your house.”
“You did tie me up!” she exclaimed.
“I know,” he admitted with a tiny smile, “But it just made me wonder why I was even bothering, when I was never going to get any credit for it.”
She sighed, realising the truth of his words, and raised her hand hesitantly to his cheek, letting her fingers graze his cool skin.
“I’m sorry about that. Guess we didn’t really help you.”
“Not really. But I did it. And you can do it too.”
“You really think I’ve got it in me? I’m not sure I can be nice anymore…too much has happened.”
“Look, love,” he started, placing both hands on her shoulders, his blue eyes locked on hers, “I’ve never ever doubted your goodness for a minute. You’ve been through a lot…and it’s changed you…but you’re still you. You’re still good and kind and thoughtful.”
“And violent,” she added sadly.
“You’re the Slayer. It’s in your blood as much as it’s in mine. But sometimes you just have to ignore your blood.”
She smiled slightly and nodded, her gaze dropping to her hands and then meeting his once more.
“I am sorry.”
“I know, love. All forgotten. I know how hard it is to start over. Just a lapse, is all.”
She nodded and pushed herself to her feet.
“Thank you.”
“Anytime.”
Happy Birthday & A New Job
Another year, another birthday. She was several hours in and so far there had been no disasters, so that must be a good sign. But then, she had yet to be confronted with the reality of her friends knowing- which was sure to be forced in front of her as soon as Spike made his appearance. She could already imagine the threats of violence and grimaced to herself as she put the finishing touches to her birthday outfit.
When she looked in the mirror though, she gave a small smile at her reflection: the outfit she had chosen was casual, but sexy. The skirt clung to her in all the right ways, she knew, and the off-the-shoulder top showed off inches of smooth, tanned skin.
It was an outfit specifically meant for Spike’s enjoyment, not least for the fact it was all black- and she sighed as she realised it. Dressing for Spike seemed to have become a habit embedded too deep into her subconscious for her to lose it now. With a smile, she made her way downstairs, ready to start the birthday celebrations.
By dusk, the party was already in full swing and she flashed a smile at her friends as she made her way through to the kitchen. Before she could reach it though, there was a knock at the door and she turned round, her stomach doing flips as her slayer-sense told her exactly who was on the other side. Spike.
Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the door and opened it, gracing the two demons on the other side of the door with a soft smile.
“Hey.”
“Happy Birthday!” Clem exclaimed, reaching out to shake her hand enthusiastically.
“Err, thanks. Hi, come in. We have snacks…of the non-feline variety.”
“Oh, I already ate.”
With that, he disappeared into the living room and with a slight grimace, she turned to Spike.
“Should I be disturbed by that?”
He smiled and closed the door behind him, leaving them standing opposite each other somewhat awkwardly.
“Hi,” she got out, aware of more than one pair of eyes on them.
“Slayer,” he murmured, his eyes sweeping over her quickly.
It struck her then just how much he had been calling her that lately- and she realised almost simultaneously that it was his way of distancing himself from her. She didn’t know whether to be hurt or glad by that thought.
“So, how’s the birthday going?” he asked, drawing her out of her daze. She followed his gaze to the group in the living room and smiled.
“For a Buffy birthday, it’s going surprisingly well.”
“No blood and mayhem yet then?”
“Nope.”
“Shame,” he countered with a soft smile.
Not knowing what to say next, she fell silent, studying him from under her eyelashes. After several moments of what seemed like indecisiveness, his eyes lifted to her and he moved forward a step, one hand rising to touch her arm. His cool touch drew her eyes sharply to his and he smiled softly.
“Happy birthday, love. Hope it’s a good one.”
“Thanks,” she got out, “Me too.”
With one last smile, he moved his hand from her arm with a tiny caress and turned toward the living room. He headed for her sister, paying no heed to the gazes on him, and settled into a chair beside her. He just glanced back at her and they shared a small smile before she moved back into the living room as well, settling beside Willow.
“So, is it officially time for cake yet?” she asked with a wide smile.
~*~*~*~*~
“Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thanks. I’m fine.”
She gave- Richard, was that his name?- a polite smile.
“It’s amazing. No-one seems to want to go home yet.”
“No,” she answered, catching sight of Spike over the man’s shoulder- no doubt, listening in on their conversation.
“Well, I’m going to head back in.”
She smiled and gave Richard a slight nod as he moved away, feeling only slightly guilty for her absentmindedness. She turned back again to find Spike in front of her, smirking.
“Oh, Buffy. Can I get you a soda pop? I think I’m in lurve…”
She laughed, swatting away his hands.
“Jealous?”
“Always,” he answered seriously.
She smiled softly and met his bright gaze.
“Maybe you could get me a soda then.”
For a moment, he was still but when she smiled and nodded in the direction of the kitchen, he soon came back to life and followed her through into the kitchen.
She settled onto a stool and he sat close beside her, eyes shining with affection.
“Haven’t had the chance to properly wish you happy birthday,” he murmured, his bright gaze on her. She raised an eyebrow, expecting some lewd comment, but instead, he slid one hand inside his jacket and came back out with a knife, sheathed in leather.
“Happy Birthday, love.”
He slid the knife into her hand and her eyes flew to his, uncomprehending.
“For me?” she whispered.
“It is your birthday, last time I checked.”
Turning her attention back to the knife, she ran her fingers over the intricate pattern on the handle.
“Where did you…?”
“Didn’t steal it, if that’s what you think.”
“I- I didn’t!” she protested, but faltered when his piercing gaze met hers, one eyebrow twitched in disbelief, “Okay…maybe a little.”
He chuckled and she smiled hesitantly, her eyes drawn back to the beautiful weapon. Not every girl’s dream birthday present- but then, she wasn’t every girl.
“It’s…it’s beautiful. Thank you, Spike.”
Her wide eyes met his and they shared a soft smile. Following an impulse that suddenly overtook her, she leant over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
_______________________________________________
She stretched and pushed herself out of her chair, glad to have finally reached her lunch break. She had got the job as secretary in the college office and she was glad to have a job that wasn’t as soul-destroying as the fast-food business. The only problem was, for someone who was used to being active, sitting at a desk for hours on end had serious tendencies to stretch her patience.
She smiled at the girl who worked with her, Nina, and pulled her jacket on- and then frowned when her phone began to ring. With a mumbled curse, she sank back down into her chair and answered the phone with a dull:
“University of California, Sunnydale Campus. This is Buffy Summers speaking, how can I help you?”
“You know, it sounded right official…’til you got to that silly name of yours.”
She started at that low voice but then with a smile, settled back in her chair.
“Oh, hush, William.”
Spike laughed and she smiled, brushing a hair back from her face as she swivelled on her chair.
“Love it when you say my name, Slayer. Not quite as good as you screaming it at the top of your lungs, ‘course, but…”
“Behave!”
“Always, love.”
“So, is there a point to this call? You’re wasting precious lunching time. And how did you get this number anyway?”
“S’in the phonebook, love.”
“Oh. Right. Anyway, point?”
“Nibblet was right, sitting at a desk does get you grumpy,” he murmured with a laugh.
“I’m not grumpy. I’m hungry.”
He just laughed and she rolled her eyes at Nina across the room, who smiled sympathetically.
“Anyway, love, just wanted to let you know lil’ Bit’s coming round mine later. Didn’t want you to worry.”
“Just make sure she actually does some studying for her history test, ‘kay?”
“Why d’you think she’s coming round mine? For some reason, you girls seem to think I know everything about history…even the bits I wasn’t around for.”
“You know more than me,” she reasoned, “Plus, we both know Dawn’s got you wrapped round her little finger.”
“And you haven’t, Slayer?” he asked in a low rumble that sent a pleasant shiver through her. She wanted to laugh at the normality of having a phone conversation with Spike, but her stomach was distracting her, urging her to eat.
“Not right now,” she purred back, then swiftly changed topic, “Anyway, Buffy’s stomach is hungry. I need to go.”
“See you later, love.”
“Bye, Spike.”
She hung up the phone and rolled her eyes again at Nina.
“Was that your boyfriend?” the girl asked.
“Huh? Oh no, not my boyfriend. Definitely not.”
“Well, that was some pretty hardcore phone-flirting.”
“I was not phone-flirting!” she protested, “Was I?...God, I was, wasn’t I?”
Nina nodded with a smile and Buffy gave her a sheepish smile.
“I can’t help it. I blame him. He’s one of those guys that just oozes sex, you know?”
Nina nodded, a dreamy look on her face.
“Is he hot?”
“As hell!” Buffy answered bluntly, “I mean, he’s got these bright blue eyes…cheekbones to die for…and the sexiest accent you will ever hear in your life.”
“And you’re not getting in there?” Nina asked in disbelief.
“It’s complicated,” she explained, “There was this big messy thing between us…I needed a break.”
“Well, give me his number. I want to meet this hunk of salty goodness!” Nina joked as Buffy grabbed a bag and headed for the door.
“Sure thing!” Buffy laughed, not even wanting to examine the twisting in her stomach that had nothing to do with her hunger and a hell of a lot to do with the thought of introducing Spike to the pretty brunette. Shaking her head, she made her way out of the office and found her way out into the quad.
She found Willow and Tara under a tree to one side of the quad and dropped to the grass beside them with her lunch.
“Hey guys!”
“Hey, Buff. How’s life in the office today?”
“Same old. Lots of wrong numbers,” she sighed, taking a large bite into her sandwich, “And Spike.”
“Spike?” Willow questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“I know. Who’d have thought he could use a phone?! Actually…what phone was he using?” she wondered aloud, then shook her head and turned her attention back to her sandwich.
“How was psych?” she asked the witches through a mouthful of sandwich.
“It’s definitely different without Maggie Walsh.”
“Ah, good times,” Buffy reminisced with a slight smile.
She finished her sandwich and leant back against the tree, stretching her legs out in front of her as she watched the two witches- not missing how closely they were sitting and how their hands kept brushing together. She smiled softly to herself, glad that they had resolved some of their issues and were trying again.
“I still can’t believe Xander’s getting married in two days,” Willow exclaimed, “Our Xander.”
“It is major wiggy,” Buffy agreed and all three girls giggled, “They’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Harris.”
“I bet Anya will make us all call her ma’am for about the next year!” Willow joked.
“You bet she will.”
Buffy leant back, lost in thought as she remembered her argument with Spike.
“They’re totally going to be happy. Happily ever after and all that,” she murmured thoughtfully.
“It might not always be that easy,” Tara spoke up and Buffy turned to her, “But they love each other and th-that’s a good start.”
Buffy nodded and gave a weak smile before pushing herself to her feet.
“Well, back to the office for me. I’ll see you guys on the big day, I guess.”
With a little wave, she turned and made her way through the sunny courtyard and back into the building.
When she looked in the mirror though, she gave a small smile at her reflection: the outfit she had chosen was casual, but sexy. The skirt clung to her in all the right ways, she knew, and the off-the-shoulder top showed off inches of smooth, tanned skin.
It was an outfit specifically meant for Spike’s enjoyment, not least for the fact it was all black- and she sighed as she realised it. Dressing for Spike seemed to have become a habit embedded too deep into her subconscious for her to lose it now. With a smile, she made her way downstairs, ready to start the birthday celebrations.
By dusk, the party was already in full swing and she flashed a smile at her friends as she made her way through to the kitchen. Before she could reach it though, there was a knock at the door and she turned round, her stomach doing flips as her slayer-sense told her exactly who was on the other side. Spike.
Taking a deep breath, she made her way to the door and opened it, gracing the two demons on the other side of the door with a soft smile.
“Hey.”
“Happy Birthday!” Clem exclaimed, reaching out to shake her hand enthusiastically.
“Err, thanks. Hi, come in. We have snacks…of the non-feline variety.”
“Oh, I already ate.”
With that, he disappeared into the living room and with a slight grimace, she turned to Spike.
“Should I be disturbed by that?”
He smiled and closed the door behind him, leaving them standing opposite each other somewhat awkwardly.
“Hi,” she got out, aware of more than one pair of eyes on them.
“Slayer,” he murmured, his eyes sweeping over her quickly.
It struck her then just how much he had been calling her that lately- and she realised almost simultaneously that it was his way of distancing himself from her. She didn’t know whether to be hurt or glad by that thought.
“So, how’s the birthday going?” he asked, drawing her out of her daze. She followed his gaze to the group in the living room and smiled.
“For a Buffy birthday, it’s going surprisingly well.”
“No blood and mayhem yet then?”
“Nope.”
“Shame,” he countered with a soft smile.
Not knowing what to say next, she fell silent, studying him from under her eyelashes. After several moments of what seemed like indecisiveness, his eyes lifted to her and he moved forward a step, one hand rising to touch her arm. His cool touch drew her eyes sharply to his and he smiled softly.
“Happy birthday, love. Hope it’s a good one.”
“Thanks,” she got out, “Me too.”
With one last smile, he moved his hand from her arm with a tiny caress and turned toward the living room. He headed for her sister, paying no heed to the gazes on him, and settled into a chair beside her. He just glanced back at her and they shared a small smile before she moved back into the living room as well, settling beside Willow.
“So, is it officially time for cake yet?” she asked with a wide smile.
~*~*~*~*~
“Can I get you a drink?”
“No, thanks. I’m fine.”
She gave- Richard, was that his name?- a polite smile.
“It’s amazing. No-one seems to want to go home yet.”
“No,” she answered, catching sight of Spike over the man’s shoulder- no doubt, listening in on their conversation.
“Well, I’m going to head back in.”
She smiled and gave Richard a slight nod as he moved away, feeling only slightly guilty for her absentmindedness. She turned back again to find Spike in front of her, smirking.
“Oh, Buffy. Can I get you a soda pop? I think I’m in lurve…”
She laughed, swatting away his hands.
“Jealous?”
“Always,” he answered seriously.
She smiled softly and met his bright gaze.
“Maybe you could get me a soda then.”
For a moment, he was still but when she smiled and nodded in the direction of the kitchen, he soon came back to life and followed her through into the kitchen.
She settled onto a stool and he sat close beside her, eyes shining with affection.
“Haven’t had the chance to properly wish you happy birthday,” he murmured, his bright gaze on her. She raised an eyebrow, expecting some lewd comment, but instead, he slid one hand inside his jacket and came back out with a knife, sheathed in leather.
“Happy Birthday, love.”
He slid the knife into her hand and her eyes flew to his, uncomprehending.
“For me?” she whispered.
“It is your birthday, last time I checked.”
Turning her attention back to the knife, she ran her fingers over the intricate pattern on the handle.
“Where did you…?”
“Didn’t steal it, if that’s what you think.”
“I- I didn’t!” she protested, but faltered when his piercing gaze met hers, one eyebrow twitched in disbelief, “Okay…maybe a little.”
He chuckled and she smiled hesitantly, her eyes drawn back to the beautiful weapon. Not every girl’s dream birthday present- but then, she wasn’t every girl.
“It’s…it’s beautiful. Thank you, Spike.”
Her wide eyes met his and they shared a soft smile. Following an impulse that suddenly overtook her, she leant over and pressed a kiss to his cheek.
_______________________________________________
She stretched and pushed herself out of her chair, glad to have finally reached her lunch break. She had got the job as secretary in the college office and she was glad to have a job that wasn’t as soul-destroying as the fast-food business. The only problem was, for someone who was used to being active, sitting at a desk for hours on end had serious tendencies to stretch her patience.
She smiled at the girl who worked with her, Nina, and pulled her jacket on- and then frowned when her phone began to ring. With a mumbled curse, she sank back down into her chair and answered the phone with a dull:
“University of California, Sunnydale Campus. This is Buffy Summers speaking, how can I help you?”
“You know, it sounded right official…’til you got to that silly name of yours.”
She started at that low voice but then with a smile, settled back in her chair.
“Oh, hush, William.”
Spike laughed and she smiled, brushing a hair back from her face as she swivelled on her chair.
“Love it when you say my name, Slayer. Not quite as good as you screaming it at the top of your lungs, ‘course, but…”
“Behave!”
“Always, love.”
“So, is there a point to this call? You’re wasting precious lunching time. And how did you get this number anyway?”
“S’in the phonebook, love.”
“Oh. Right. Anyway, point?”
“Nibblet was right, sitting at a desk does get you grumpy,” he murmured with a laugh.
“I’m not grumpy. I’m hungry.”
He just laughed and she rolled her eyes at Nina across the room, who smiled sympathetically.
“Anyway, love, just wanted to let you know lil’ Bit’s coming round mine later. Didn’t want you to worry.”
“Just make sure she actually does some studying for her history test, ‘kay?”
“Why d’you think she’s coming round mine? For some reason, you girls seem to think I know everything about history…even the bits I wasn’t around for.”
“You know more than me,” she reasoned, “Plus, we both know Dawn’s got you wrapped round her little finger.”
“And you haven’t, Slayer?” he asked in a low rumble that sent a pleasant shiver through her. She wanted to laugh at the normality of having a phone conversation with Spike, but her stomach was distracting her, urging her to eat.
“Not right now,” she purred back, then swiftly changed topic, “Anyway, Buffy’s stomach is hungry. I need to go.”
“See you later, love.”
“Bye, Spike.”
She hung up the phone and rolled her eyes again at Nina.
“Was that your boyfriend?” the girl asked.
“Huh? Oh no, not my boyfriend. Definitely not.”
“Well, that was some pretty hardcore phone-flirting.”
“I was not phone-flirting!” she protested, “Was I?...God, I was, wasn’t I?”
Nina nodded with a smile and Buffy gave her a sheepish smile.
“I can’t help it. I blame him. He’s one of those guys that just oozes sex, you know?”
Nina nodded, a dreamy look on her face.
“Is he hot?”
“As hell!” Buffy answered bluntly, “I mean, he’s got these bright blue eyes…cheekbones to die for…and the sexiest accent you will ever hear in your life.”
“And you’re not getting in there?” Nina asked in disbelief.
“It’s complicated,” she explained, “There was this big messy thing between us…I needed a break.”
“Well, give me his number. I want to meet this hunk of salty goodness!” Nina joked as Buffy grabbed a bag and headed for the door.
“Sure thing!” Buffy laughed, not even wanting to examine the twisting in her stomach that had nothing to do with her hunger and a hell of a lot to do with the thought of introducing Spike to the pretty brunette. Shaking her head, she made her way out of the office and found her way out into the quad.
She found Willow and Tara under a tree to one side of the quad and dropped to the grass beside them with her lunch.
“Hey guys!”
“Hey, Buff. How’s life in the office today?”
“Same old. Lots of wrong numbers,” she sighed, taking a large bite into her sandwich, “And Spike.”
“Spike?” Willow questioned with a raised eyebrow.
“I know. Who’d have thought he could use a phone?! Actually…what phone was he using?” she wondered aloud, then shook her head and turned her attention back to her sandwich.
“How was psych?” she asked the witches through a mouthful of sandwich.
“It’s definitely different without Maggie Walsh.”
“Ah, good times,” Buffy reminisced with a slight smile.
She finished her sandwich and leant back against the tree, stretching her legs out in front of her as she watched the two witches- not missing how closely they were sitting and how their hands kept brushing together. She smiled softly to herself, glad that they had resolved some of their issues and were trying again.
“I still can’t believe Xander’s getting married in two days,” Willow exclaimed, “Our Xander.”
“It is major wiggy,” Buffy agreed and all three girls giggled, “They’ll be Mr. and Mrs. Harris.”
“I bet Anya will make us all call her ma’am for about the next year!” Willow joked.
“You bet she will.”
Buffy leant back, lost in thought as she remembered her argument with Spike.
“They’re totally going to be happy. Happily ever after and all that,” she murmured thoughtfully.
“It might not always be that easy,” Tara spoke up and Buffy turned to her, “But they love each other and th-that’s a good start.”
Buffy nodded and gave a weak smile before pushing herself to her feet.
“Well, back to the office for me. I’ll see you guys on the big day, I guess.”
With a little wave, she turned and made her way through the sunny courtyard and back into the building.
Wedding Blues
Well, Xander and Anya’s big day had finally arrived and after Buffy had dispatched with a demon gatecrasher, the whole thing went swimmingly- despite Spike’s earlier prediction. The happy couple were glowing and Buffy watched with a small smile as Xander danced with his new wife, spinning her under his arm.
Her eyes slid over to Willow and Tara and she gave another small smile- their relationship had been close to falling apart, but now things were back on track again after Willow had made a big change of her own.
Her eyes moved over the crowd again and she almost broke into a laugh when she spotted Spike and her sister. Dawn had obviously forced the vampire to dance with her and he was trying his best to still look cool, even as the teenager kept spinning him around with her.
Suddenly feeling inexplicably left out, she slowly got to her feet and made her way out onto the small veranda, enjoying the cool night air on her skin. She leaned against the railing, looking out over Sunnydale.
“Wow, that thing even glows in the dark!”
She jumped at Spike’s voice and whirled round, laughing at his comment about her radioactive-green dress.
“I think Anya just wanted to make sure no-one would even think about looking at the bridesmaids.”
“Didn’t work,” he murmured, leaning against the doorframe, “I was still watching one of the bridesmaids.”
“Yeah, well…you would,” she answered with a soft smile, “Not even radioactive dresses can put you off.”
“Nope. Sorry.”
They shared a smile and she turned back to look out over the town, feeling him come to stand beside her.
“You alright?”
She raised her eyes to his and smiled wryly.
“Guess I’m just feeling…I don’t know.”
“Sorry for yourself?”
“Something like that,” she replied, giving a tiny smile, “Just kinda reminds me of the normal life I won’t ever have as a Slayer.”
“Now, I’m sure it’s not allowed to be down at a wedding,” he commented and she met his bright gaze.
“Guess not. I’m supposed to stop this moping thing.”
“That was your plan.”
She smiled again and leaned back on the railing, arms crossed lightly in front of her.
“Come on, Slayer, what’s brought this on?”
Spike asked softly.
“Guess I’m just kinda…lonely. Xander and Anya have got each other…and Willow and Tara…”
“You know you’re never alone, Slayer,” he murmured, his hand just resting on her arm, drawing her eyes to his.
There was a long moment of silence, both lost in each other’s eyes, until she shook her head, looking down at her feet.
“I should probably get back in.”
“Not ‘til I’ve cheered you up,” Spike commented and she laughed, “Come on, dance with me.”
Her eyes flew to his and she raised an eyebrow.
“Dance with you?”
“Yeah, Slayer, see it’s this thing where two people move to the music.”
She laughed, shaking her head slightly.
“You’re crazy.”
“Least it got you cheered up.”
She laughed lightly again and met his bright gaze, deciding to call his bluff.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Let’s dance.”
“Right now?”
“Can’t get out of it now.”
“Wasn’t planning to,” he answered lowly, taking a step forward and holding out his hand.
Just at that moment, the music blaring from the hall changed to a slower song and their eyes met, hers widening slightly as she placed her hand in his. He said nothing and tugged her towards him, his other arm winding round her waist as his fingers wrapped round hers, holding her hand to his chest.
For a second, she froze, but then she let her head loll forward against his chest, looping one arm round him. He began to move slowly to the music, moving her with him, and she closed her eyes, breathing in his familiar scent.
“Didn’t know you could dance,” she murmured, more for something to say than anything else.
“Not exactly rocket science,” he answered, his fingers twitching against her lower back and sending a tingle straight up her spine.
And even though this was dangerous territory, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away- she was enjoying his closeness too much. She felt his cheek move to rest against her hair and moved unconsciously into his touch, her fingers tightening around his.
She did not know what prompted her to speak the next words, but they were out before she could stop them.
“Do you still love me?” she whispered.
He pulled back and she raised her gaze to his.
“Always,” he murmured, his free hand rising to brush an escaped strand of hair back into place.
Before she could process what she was doing, she leant into him, rising up on her tiptoes as she pressed her lips to his. His arm tightened around her as his lips moved softly against hers. Their hands were still linked on his chest but she ran her free hand up his chest, resting it at his neck, her fingers just stroking the soft hair on the nape of his neck. It was the gentlest kiss they had ever shared and she was lost in the tenderness of it all- until with a start, she realised just what she had done.
She quickly pulled away, her contrite gaze lifting to his.
“I…I’m sorry, Spike. I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s okay,” he got out in a husky voice, releasing her hand as she took a step backward.
“I should…go back…”
She trailed off helplessly as he turned his face from her, nodding ever so slightly. Normally, she would have left it at that but something kept her in her place- and even drove her to take a step towards him again, her hand coming to rest on his arm. He turned to her in surprise, his bright eyes burning into her.
“I…I don’t want to hurt you.”
His eyes widened even more and she tore her gaze from his, turning back to the door.
“I’m sorry.”
She fled back into the hall, her lips still tingling from his kiss.
Her eyes slid over to Willow and Tara and she gave another small smile- their relationship had been close to falling apart, but now things were back on track again after Willow had made a big change of her own.
Her eyes moved over the crowd again and she almost broke into a laugh when she spotted Spike and her sister. Dawn had obviously forced the vampire to dance with her and he was trying his best to still look cool, even as the teenager kept spinning him around with her.
Suddenly feeling inexplicably left out, she slowly got to her feet and made her way out onto the small veranda, enjoying the cool night air on her skin. She leaned against the railing, looking out over Sunnydale.
“Wow, that thing even glows in the dark!”
She jumped at Spike’s voice and whirled round, laughing at his comment about her radioactive-green dress.
“I think Anya just wanted to make sure no-one would even think about looking at the bridesmaids.”
“Didn’t work,” he murmured, leaning against the doorframe, “I was still watching one of the bridesmaids.”
“Yeah, well…you would,” she answered with a soft smile, “Not even radioactive dresses can put you off.”
“Nope. Sorry.”
They shared a smile and she turned back to look out over the town, feeling him come to stand beside her.
“You alright?”
She raised her eyes to his and smiled wryly.
“Guess I’m just feeling…I don’t know.”
“Sorry for yourself?”
“Something like that,” she replied, giving a tiny smile, “Just kinda reminds me of the normal life I won’t ever have as a Slayer.”
“Now, I’m sure it’s not allowed to be down at a wedding,” he commented and she met his bright gaze.
“Guess not. I’m supposed to stop this moping thing.”
“That was your plan.”
She smiled again and leaned back on the railing, arms crossed lightly in front of her.
“Come on, Slayer, what’s brought this on?”
Spike asked softly.
“Guess I’m just kinda…lonely. Xander and Anya have got each other…and Willow and Tara…”
“You know you’re never alone, Slayer,” he murmured, his hand just resting on her arm, drawing her eyes to his.
There was a long moment of silence, both lost in each other’s eyes, until she shook her head, looking down at her feet.
“I should probably get back in.”
“Not ‘til I’ve cheered you up,” Spike commented and she laughed, “Come on, dance with me.”
Her eyes flew to his and she raised an eyebrow.
“Dance with you?”
“Yeah, Slayer, see it’s this thing where two people move to the music.”
She laughed, shaking her head slightly.
“You’re crazy.”
“Least it got you cheered up.”
She laughed lightly again and met his bright gaze, deciding to call his bluff.
“Okay.”
“Okay?”
“Let’s dance.”
“Right now?”
“Can’t get out of it now.”
“Wasn’t planning to,” he answered lowly, taking a step forward and holding out his hand.
Just at that moment, the music blaring from the hall changed to a slower song and their eyes met, hers widening slightly as she placed her hand in his. He said nothing and tugged her towards him, his other arm winding round her waist as his fingers wrapped round hers, holding her hand to his chest.
For a second, she froze, but then she let her head loll forward against his chest, looping one arm round him. He began to move slowly to the music, moving her with him, and she closed her eyes, breathing in his familiar scent.
“Didn’t know you could dance,” she murmured, more for something to say than anything else.
“Not exactly rocket science,” he answered, his fingers twitching against her lower back and sending a tingle straight up her spine.
And even though this was dangerous territory, she couldn’t bring herself to pull away- she was enjoying his closeness too much. She felt his cheek move to rest against her hair and moved unconsciously into his touch, her fingers tightening around his.
She did not know what prompted her to speak the next words, but they were out before she could stop them.
“Do you still love me?” she whispered.
He pulled back and she raised her gaze to his.
“Always,” he murmured, his free hand rising to brush an escaped strand of hair back into place.
Before she could process what she was doing, she leant into him, rising up on her tiptoes as she pressed her lips to his. His arm tightened around her as his lips moved softly against hers. Their hands were still linked on his chest but she ran her free hand up his chest, resting it at his neck, her fingers just stroking the soft hair on the nape of his neck. It was the gentlest kiss they had ever shared and she was lost in the tenderness of it all- until with a start, she realised just what she had done.
She quickly pulled away, her contrite gaze lifting to his.
“I…I’m sorry, Spike. I shouldn’t have…”
“It’s okay,” he got out in a husky voice, releasing her hand as she took a step backward.
“I should…go back…”
She trailed off helplessly as he turned his face from her, nodding ever so slightly. Normally, she would have left it at that but something kept her in her place- and even drove her to take a step towards him again, her hand coming to rest on his arm. He turned to her in surprise, his bright eyes burning into her.
“I…I don’t want to hurt you.”
His eyes widened even more and she tore her gaze from his, turning back to the door.
“I’m sorry.”
She fled back into the hall, her lips still tingling from his kiss.
Awkwardness
Things were more than awkward the next time they came in contact. They carried out an awkwardly quiet patrol- made even more awkward by the complete lack of evil beasties, which might have distracted them from their thoughts. No such luck, though.
By the time they reached her street, the tension was almost killing Buffy and she came to an abrupt halt, turning to Spike- and freezing when his soft gaze met hers. He just stood there, waiting for her to say something- and God help her, she had no idea what to say.
“Spike…we’re friends, right?”
She had no idea where that had come from and she cringed as soon as the words were out.
At no time in their long and eventful acquaintance could their relationship be described as friendly. There had been years of pure hatred, then begrudging acceptance, then love, on his part, and even more begrudging on hers. After her death there had been a very short period when they could have been called friends to the outside observer, but underneath it all, there was that layer of sexual tension- and something more, something inexplicable- that sizzled between them.
It still sizzled now and created awkward situations like the one they were experiencing now.
She realised Spike was just staring at her, those blue eyes way too piercing, and she turned away, resuming her walk.
“Forget it,” she murmured.
He stopped her, though, with a hesitant touch on her arm.
She turned to him slowly, biting her lip as she raised her gaze to his.
“Are we?” he asked, his eyes holding hers.
“I…God, I don’t know what we are anymore,” she admitted.
He gave her the tiniest smile, removing his cool hand from her skin.
“It would be nice though,” she added.
“Yeah?” he questioned with a twitch of an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” she breathed.
He said nothing, just gave her a small smile and fell into step beside her again. And the sexual tension rocketed back up again, making her skin tingle- especially when his hand accidentally brushed against hers.
Her waning self-control seemed to have no respect for her wish to do things right by Spike. They kept walking though, she continuously trying to ignore the tingles his mere presence sent through her.
They reached her front door and she paused, turning back to him.
“Do you want to come in?”
He hesitated, one foot on the porch, blue eyes meeting hers.
“I mean…you could say ‘hi’ to Dawn. Just for a few minutes.”
He finally nodded and with a small nod, she went into the house with him following right behind.
They found Dawn in the kitchen, concocting one of her infamous delicacies. She looked up as they came in and broke into a wide smile as she greeted her friend.
“Hi, Spike!”
“Alright, Bit.”
Buffy gestured politely to a stool and he slid onto it as she sat next to her sister, finally looking at her sister’s random assortment of ingredients.
“Do I even want to know what this is going to end up as?”
“I think I’ll call it the Summers Surprise,” Dawn commented, adding a healthy dollop of cream to her concoction. Buffy just grimaced and rolled her eyes, resting her hands on the worktop and tapping her fingers on the surface.
“Quiet patrol?” Dawn piped up after a prolonged silence, looking between the two of them.
“Huh?” Buffy asked.
“You’re both all twitchy. Usually means you haven’t killed anything.”
“Oh,” Buffy answered with a tiny smile, stopping her tapping and just meeting Spike’s gaze, “Nope, no slaying.”
Spike smiled lazily and stuffed his hands in his pockets, his leg just bouncing slightly. Without even thinking, Buffy reached over and placed her hand on his leg, stopping him.
“Dawn’s right. We are twitchy.”
His eyes slid to her hand on his leg and she quickly retracted it, turning to her sister in hopes of covering her mild embarrassment.
The vampire announced his departure not much later, after a number of silences that Dawn had broken several times, throwing a suspicious look between the two of them.
“Patrol tomorrow?” Buffy asked, her eyes meeting his for a brief second before she had to look away again.
“Sure. See you then. Night, Nibblet.”
“Bye.”
He disappeared out the back door, pulling the door shut behind him and leaving the two sisters alone.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
Buffy looked up from where she had been tracing a pattern on the worktop with her finger and frowned.
“What? What do you mean?”
“You and Spike are acting way weird. You’re not doing it again, are you?”
“Dawn!” Buffy exclaimed.
“Is that a yes?”
“No. It’s a definite no!”
“Then what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
She met her sister’s hard glare and held out for a few long moments, before she sagged and gave a sigh.
“Okay, look, there was…kissing…and now things are awkward.”
“Kissing?! When?!”
“At the wedding.”
“What?! When? I was with you practically all night.”
“Look, Dawnie, it doesn’t matter. It just…I guess it’s just not as easy as I thought it would be…staying away.”
“He really loves you, Buffy,” Dawn said seriously and Buffy raised her eyes to her sister’s surprisingly understanding look.
“I know he does, Dawnie. That’s why I want to do right by him. He deserves better.”
“Maybe he deserves you.”
She met her sister’s gaze, reading in it more maturity then she had ever witnessed before. Her little sister really had grown up.
“It’s not easy, Dawn.”
“But you care about him?”
“I…” she trailed off, stuck for an answer. She had never been good at analysing her feelings for Spike before (in the rare times she admitted to feelings other than hatred)- and now they were even more of a mess.
“I don’t know, Dawnie. Which just means all the more reason not to make things more awkward than they already are.”
Her sister nodded as she took a bite out of her sandwich. Buffy smiled and pushed herself to her feet, brushing one hand over her sister’s long hair.
“Don’t stay up too late, ‘kay?”
Dawn nodded and with a smile, Buffy moved to the door, halting when Dawn spoke up quietly.
“He’s a good man, Buffy.”
She turned to look at her sister and smiled softly.
“I know, Dawnie.”
By the time they reached her street, the tension was almost killing Buffy and she came to an abrupt halt, turning to Spike- and freezing when his soft gaze met hers. He just stood there, waiting for her to say something- and God help her, she had no idea what to say.
“Spike…we’re friends, right?”
She had no idea where that had come from and she cringed as soon as the words were out.
At no time in their long and eventful acquaintance could their relationship be described as friendly. There had been years of pure hatred, then begrudging acceptance, then love, on his part, and even more begrudging on hers. After her death there had been a very short period when they could have been called friends to the outside observer, but underneath it all, there was that layer of sexual tension- and something more, something inexplicable- that sizzled between them.
It still sizzled now and created awkward situations like the one they were experiencing now.
She realised Spike was just staring at her, those blue eyes way too piercing, and she turned away, resuming her walk.
“Forget it,” she murmured.
He stopped her, though, with a hesitant touch on her arm.
She turned to him slowly, biting her lip as she raised her gaze to his.
“Are we?” he asked, his eyes holding hers.
“I…God, I don’t know what we are anymore,” she admitted.
He gave her the tiniest smile, removing his cool hand from her skin.
“It would be nice though,” she added.
“Yeah?” he questioned with a twitch of an eyebrow.
“Yeah,” she breathed.
He said nothing, just gave her a small smile and fell into step beside her again. And the sexual tension rocketed back up again, making her skin tingle- especially when his hand accidentally brushed against hers.
Her waning self-control seemed to have no respect for her wish to do things right by Spike. They kept walking though, she continuously trying to ignore the tingles his mere presence sent through her.
They reached her front door and she paused, turning back to him.
“Do you want to come in?”
He hesitated, one foot on the porch, blue eyes meeting hers.
“I mean…you could say ‘hi’ to Dawn. Just for a few minutes.”
He finally nodded and with a small nod, she went into the house with him following right behind.
They found Dawn in the kitchen, concocting one of her infamous delicacies. She looked up as they came in and broke into a wide smile as she greeted her friend.
“Hi, Spike!”
“Alright, Bit.”
Buffy gestured politely to a stool and he slid onto it as she sat next to her sister, finally looking at her sister’s random assortment of ingredients.
“Do I even want to know what this is going to end up as?”
“I think I’ll call it the Summers Surprise,” Dawn commented, adding a healthy dollop of cream to her concoction. Buffy just grimaced and rolled her eyes, resting her hands on the worktop and tapping her fingers on the surface.
“Quiet patrol?” Dawn piped up after a prolonged silence, looking between the two of them.
“Huh?” Buffy asked.
“You’re both all twitchy. Usually means you haven’t killed anything.”
“Oh,” Buffy answered with a tiny smile, stopping her tapping and just meeting Spike’s gaze, “Nope, no slaying.”
Spike smiled lazily and stuffed his hands in his pockets, his leg just bouncing slightly. Without even thinking, Buffy reached over and placed her hand on his leg, stopping him.
“Dawn’s right. We are twitchy.”
His eyes slid to her hand on his leg and she quickly retracted it, turning to her sister in hopes of covering her mild embarrassment.
The vampire announced his departure not much later, after a number of silences that Dawn had broken several times, throwing a suspicious look between the two of them.
“Patrol tomorrow?” Buffy asked, her eyes meeting his for a brief second before she had to look away again.
“Sure. See you then. Night, Nibblet.”
“Bye.”
He disappeared out the back door, pulling the door shut behind him and leaving the two sisters alone.
“Okay, what’s going on?”
Buffy looked up from where she had been tracing a pattern on the worktop with her finger and frowned.
“What? What do you mean?”
“You and Spike are acting way weird. You’re not doing it again, are you?”
“Dawn!” Buffy exclaimed.
“Is that a yes?”
“No. It’s a definite no!”
“Then what’s going on?”
“Nothing.”
“Liar.”
She met her sister’s hard glare and held out for a few long moments, before she sagged and gave a sigh.
“Okay, look, there was…kissing…and now things are awkward.”
“Kissing?! When?!”
“At the wedding.”
“What?! When? I was with you practically all night.”
“Look, Dawnie, it doesn’t matter. It just…I guess it’s just not as easy as I thought it would be…staying away.”
“He really loves you, Buffy,” Dawn said seriously and Buffy raised her eyes to her sister’s surprisingly understanding look.
“I know he does, Dawnie. That’s why I want to do right by him. He deserves better.”
“Maybe he deserves you.”
She met her sister’s gaze, reading in it more maturity then she had ever witnessed before. Her little sister really had grown up.
“It’s not easy, Dawn.”
“But you care about him?”
“I…” she trailed off, stuck for an answer. She had never been good at analysing her feelings for Spike before (in the rare times she admitted to feelings other than hatred)- and now they were even more of a mess.
“I don’t know, Dawnie. Which just means all the more reason not to make things more awkward than they already are.”
Her sister nodded as she took a bite out of her sandwich. Buffy smiled and pushed herself to her feet, brushing one hand over her sister’s long hair.
“Don’t stay up too late, ‘kay?”
Dawn nodded and with a smile, Buffy moved to the door, halting when Dawn spoke up quietly.
“He’s a good man, Buffy.”
She turned to look at her sister and smiled softly.
“I know, Dawnie.”
A Reunion
“I am so bored of the no-show geeks,” Buffy huffed, kicking at a stone as she and Spike made their way through one of Sunnydale’s cemeteries.
“They’ll be back.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“They committed murder and got away with it. They’re not just gonna sit around and play nice after that.”
“Great,” she sighed, drawing up and leaning against a headstone as Spike stopped opposite her, instantly fishing out a cigarette. She watched him for a moment, then dropped her gaze to the floor, biting her lip.
“Worried, Slayer?”
Her eyes rose to his and she smiled wryly.
“Strange, huh? It’s just…I can fight demons. But these are people...guys I went to school with...”
“Doesn’t mean they’re good though, does it?” he asked pointedly and she met his bright gaze with a frown, sensing that there was some deeper argument.
“I guess not. But they’re still human.”
“And killers.”
She frowned, not liking this talk that danced dangerously close to some serious grey areas in her life.
She sighed and looked to the ground again, her shoulders sagging. Spike’s touch at her shoulder brought her gaze back to his again.
“Don’t let the fact they’re humans stop you from doing what’s right.”
“Of course I won’t.”
“Just sayin’. They may not be demons but they’re just as bad.”
“I’m not sure I’d say that.”
“Right, so ‘coz they’re humans, they’ve got a get-out-of-jail-free card, or something?”
He was obviously getting riled up and she crossed her arms, keeping her expression neutral.
“Not what I said.”
“Implied it though.”
“God, Spike, I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Makes a change.”
“Hey!” she protested, “I’m…I’m trying, okay? I’ve been anything but bad to you lately.”
“Just wonder how long it’s gonna last.”
Outraged, she pushed herself to her feet, clenching her fists tightly to stop herself from lashing out at him and turned on her heel, storming away from him.
He followed her- of course he did- but she refused to slow down. Here she was, trying to change for the better- and he had no faith in her!
“Buffy,” he growled out, hot on her heel.
Ignoring him, she continued in her path, until he caught hold of her arm, halting her and spinning him round to face her. He opened his mouth to speak- and then froze, before crumpling to the floor. She stared at him, frowning when she spotted the two metal barbs in his back.
“Spike?”
“It’s okay, Miss. You’re safe.”
She looked up to see a tall, dark-haired woman holding a gun and moving towards her, holding out her hand in a sign of non-aggression.
“Huh?” Buffy got out, confused.
“You’re okay, now. Just step away from the va- the man.”
Figuring out some tiny bit of what was going on, she bit her lip and came up with what she hoped was a good explanation.
“Oh, it’s fine really, Ma’am. Me and, err, my boyfriend were just having a bit of an…an argument.”
“Boyfriend?”
She smiled sheepishly as the woman frowned, looking down at the prone vampire on the floor. She then pulled out a communication device and spoke into it.
“Red Knight, this is White Knight. You better get over here.”
“This…this man is your boyfriend?” the woman asked, gesturing at Spike’s prone form.
“Erm…yeah,” Buffy got out awkwardly, not sure the woman was believing her.
“Has he changed lately?”
“Huh?”
“Has he started acting differently? Staying in in the daytime, that sort of thing?”
The woman thought he was a newly-turned vampire. The thought made Buffy want to laugh and she was sure Spike would be insulted by that suggestion.
“Do you mean, do I know he’s a vampire?” she asked bluntly, secretly amused at the woman’s shocked expression.
“You know…and you’re still…”
“Buffy!”
At the sound of that familiar voice, she whirled round- to find herself face-to-face with Riley Finn.
~*~*~*~*~
“Riley,” she breathed out.
He glanced at the woman behind her and nodded once.
“Sam, it’s okay. This is Buffy, the Slayer.”
“A Slayer with a vampire boyfriend?”
Buffy cringed as she realised her excuse would backfire on her now. Riley moved to her side and looked down at the unconscious vampire.
“Is that Spike?”
She sighed and nodded, not missing his look of disgust.
“Yes. But, he’s, err, he’s not my boyfriend,” she instantly added, glancing at the woman, Sam, “I just said that so you wouldn’t stake him.”
“I wasn’t planning on staking him. I thought that was your job though?”
“It is,” Buffy got out, not liking the woman’s accusatory tone, “And I’m pretty
good at it… And Spike here helps me.”
“Helps you?” the woman asked in obvious surprise.
“Yeah, maybe you should ask your leader here about that.”
“Husband,” Riley commented.
“Huh?”
“This is my wife, Sam.”
Her head was spinning and she felt like she had been punched in the stomach.
“Wife?” she repeated in a half-daze, then quickly shook it off, “Err, it’s nice to meet you, Sam.”
“Likewise,” the woman said with a smile, moving now to stand next to Riley, “So, can someone explain why we’re not staking this hostile?”
“We’re not staking Spike because he helps out,” Buffy answered tersely.
“Last time I was around, his idea of helping out usually involved just getting in the way.”
“Yeah, well, a lot’s happened since the last time you were around, Riley,” Buffy got out, trying to rein in her automatic response to shout, or hit.
“I, err, I heard about your mom.”
She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain the memory of her mother always brought.
“Surprising, what with you taking off to South America a couple of days before she died.”
“Buffy-“ he started, contrite.
“Whatever,” she snapped, stopping him, “How long’s Spike going to be out?”
“Another ten minutes, at least,” Sam got out.
“Great. Just what I love to do: hang around in a graveyard, waiting to get jumped while my partner’s knocked out.”
“Did you just call Spike your partner?” Riley got out.
“We have been patrolling together for months now.”
“I’m not surprised he stayed around. After all, he’s got what he always wanted: he
gets to hang around you like a sad puppy.”
Had Riley always been this obnoxious, she wondered.
“Actually, he stayed around to look after my little sister.”
“Convenient excuse.”
“When I was dead?”
That bombshell silenced them and both Finns just stared at her. And God, the thought of Riley married was still doing odd things to her stomach.
“Dead?” Riley murmured, dark eyes searching her.
“Long story. Short version, not dead anymore.”
There was an awkward silence and she sighed, crossing her arms lightly.
“So, what are you doing in this part of the world?”
“We’re on a mission,” Riley answered.
“But we’re thinking of moving to California, too. I miss it,” Sam added with a smile.
“Great. Well I don’t recommend Sunnydale. Hellmouth and all.”
“Isn’t it exciting though?” Sam asked, “I mean, there must be so much demon activity. You must have seen so many different species of demon.”
“Tons of excitement here,” Buffy got out sarcastically.
“And you work with a vampire. Fascinating.”
Sam was regarding her like some sort of specimen now and Buffy had the absurd urge to tell the woman that she had also been in the habit of sleeping with said vampire quite recently. See what Mrs. Science made of that.
“He’s one of the best fighters I’ve ever met. Seemed like a smart idea.”
She saw Riley frown at the words and couldn’t help a little smile- which she quickly repressed. Poor Riley never had been able to deal with his physical weakness.
“And has the behaviour modification chip really made a difference?” Sam asked, all-scientist now. Buffy just sighed, not wanting to go into a long discussion about Spike’s different behaviour with this woman.
Luckily, she was saved from that when Spike let out a low moan, drawing all eyes to him.
“Bloody hell, Slayer,” he mumbled, “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.” she bit out, angry that he instantly accused her.
He began to push himself to his feet, Sam watching him in amazement.
“He really shouldn’t be recovering yet.”
Buffy caught the vampire by the arm and helped him to his feet as he took in the pair.
“Well, it takes a lot to keep Spike down, trust me.”
He gave her a look that could only be called lascivious and she frowned, swatting at his arm until he turned to the Finns.
“Well, well, Soldier Boy…Didn’t reckon on seeing you round these parts any time soon.”
“Same,” Riley got out.
The vampire’s gaze moved to Sam, who still had her gun pointed at him.
“Got you to thank for that delightful pleasure, eh pet?”
She said nothing, obviously not entirely sure how to deal with the vampire.
“So, did I miss anything exciting?” Spike asked, glancing at her.
“Nope, just introductions. This is Riley’s wife, Sam.”
Spike’s eyes widened in surprise ever so slightly and a smirk tugged at his lips as he turned to the woman once more.
“Likes his women with a pulse now, does he?”
Riley fumed with Spike’s words and his wife looked suitably shocked and Buffy nudged the vampire in the side.
“They’re here on a mission.”
“Fun for them. Can we get back to our patrol?”
At his words, a sudden ringing started and everyone looked around in confusion until Buffy realised the ringing was coming from Spike.
“Spike, you’re ringing.”
“S’not me. I didn’t do anything.”
“You’re definitely ringing. Do you have a phone?”
“Huh?” he asked, confused, and then he frowned, “Your bloody sister.”
Going into one of his pockets, he pulled out a phone and proceeded to stare at it, as if he could answer it telepathically.
“Oh, give it here. You’re useless,” she remarked, taking the phone out of his hand.
“Your bloody sister. Reckoned I needed one. Didn’t want it.”
She blocked out Spike’s grumbling and answered the phone.
“Dawnie?”
“It’s me, Willow.”
“Hi, Will. What’s up?”
“It’s Dawn.”
“What about her? Is she okay? Where is she?” Buffy asked frantically, her
worried gaze flying to Spike’s.
“We don’t know. She…she’s gone, Buffy. She was acting really strange and she went to her room. But I went to check on her and she wasn’t there.”
“Okay, God,” Buffy took a deep breath, going into general-mode, “Phone her friend, Janice.”
“I think I know where she is,” Spike murmured thoughtfully and Buffy looked at
him hopefully and nodded once.
“Spike thinks he knows where she is. I’ll call you if we find her.”
She quickly hung up the phone and turned to the vampire.
“What is it? Where is she?”
“What day is it?” he asked quietly.
She thought for a moment and then went to speak- and then realised the significance of the day.
“It’s been a year. God, how could I forget?!”
“You’ve been busy. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!” Buffy exclaimed and then took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she turned to the Finns.
“I’m sorry, we really need to go.”
“Do you need any help?”
“No. But if you…if you need any…with the mission…well, you know where I am.”
With that, she and Spike set off across the cemetery.
“They’ll be back.”
“What makes you so sure?”
“They committed murder and got away with it. They’re not just gonna sit around and play nice after that.”
“Great,” she sighed, drawing up and leaning against a headstone as Spike stopped opposite her, instantly fishing out a cigarette. She watched him for a moment, then dropped her gaze to the floor, biting her lip.
“Worried, Slayer?”
Her eyes rose to his and she smiled wryly.
“Strange, huh? It’s just…I can fight demons. But these are people...guys I went to school with...”
“Doesn’t mean they’re good though, does it?” he asked pointedly and she met his bright gaze with a frown, sensing that there was some deeper argument.
“I guess not. But they’re still human.”
“And killers.”
She frowned, not liking this talk that danced dangerously close to some serious grey areas in her life.
She sighed and looked to the ground again, her shoulders sagging. Spike’s touch at her shoulder brought her gaze back to his again.
“Don’t let the fact they’re humans stop you from doing what’s right.”
“Of course I won’t.”
“Just sayin’. They may not be demons but they’re just as bad.”
“I’m not sure I’d say that.”
“Right, so ‘coz they’re humans, they’ve got a get-out-of-jail-free card, or something?”
He was obviously getting riled up and she crossed her arms, keeping her expression neutral.
“Not what I said.”
“Implied it though.”
“God, Spike, I don’t want to argue with you.”
“Makes a change.”
“Hey!” she protested, “I’m…I’m trying, okay? I’ve been anything but bad to you lately.”
“Just wonder how long it’s gonna last.”
Outraged, she pushed herself to her feet, clenching her fists tightly to stop herself from lashing out at him and turned on her heel, storming away from him.
He followed her- of course he did- but she refused to slow down. Here she was, trying to change for the better- and he had no faith in her!
“Buffy,” he growled out, hot on her heel.
Ignoring him, she continued in her path, until he caught hold of her arm, halting her and spinning him round to face her. He opened his mouth to speak- and then froze, before crumpling to the floor. She stared at him, frowning when she spotted the two metal barbs in his back.
“Spike?”
“It’s okay, Miss. You’re safe.”
She looked up to see a tall, dark-haired woman holding a gun and moving towards her, holding out her hand in a sign of non-aggression.
“Huh?” Buffy got out, confused.
“You’re okay, now. Just step away from the va- the man.”
Figuring out some tiny bit of what was going on, she bit her lip and came up with what she hoped was a good explanation.
“Oh, it’s fine really, Ma’am. Me and, err, my boyfriend were just having a bit of an…an argument.”
“Boyfriend?”
She smiled sheepishly as the woman frowned, looking down at the prone vampire on the floor. She then pulled out a communication device and spoke into it.
“Red Knight, this is White Knight. You better get over here.”
“This…this man is your boyfriend?” the woman asked, gesturing at Spike’s prone form.
“Erm…yeah,” Buffy got out awkwardly, not sure the woman was believing her.
“Has he changed lately?”
“Huh?”
“Has he started acting differently? Staying in in the daytime, that sort of thing?”
The woman thought he was a newly-turned vampire. The thought made Buffy want to laugh and she was sure Spike would be insulted by that suggestion.
“Do you mean, do I know he’s a vampire?” she asked bluntly, secretly amused at the woman’s shocked expression.
“You know…and you’re still…”
“Buffy!”
At the sound of that familiar voice, she whirled round- to find herself face-to-face with Riley Finn.
~*~*~*~*~
“Riley,” she breathed out.
He glanced at the woman behind her and nodded once.
“Sam, it’s okay. This is Buffy, the Slayer.”
“A Slayer with a vampire boyfriend?”
Buffy cringed as she realised her excuse would backfire on her now. Riley moved to her side and looked down at the unconscious vampire.
“Is that Spike?”
She sighed and nodded, not missing his look of disgust.
“Yes. But, he’s, err, he’s not my boyfriend,” she instantly added, glancing at the woman, Sam, “I just said that so you wouldn’t stake him.”
“I wasn’t planning on staking him. I thought that was your job though?”
“It is,” Buffy got out, not liking the woman’s accusatory tone, “And I’m pretty
good at it… And Spike here helps me.”
“Helps you?” the woman asked in obvious surprise.
“Yeah, maybe you should ask your leader here about that.”
“Husband,” Riley commented.
“Huh?”
“This is my wife, Sam.”
Her head was spinning and she felt like she had been punched in the stomach.
“Wife?” she repeated in a half-daze, then quickly shook it off, “Err, it’s nice to meet you, Sam.”
“Likewise,” the woman said with a smile, moving now to stand next to Riley, “So, can someone explain why we’re not staking this hostile?”
“We’re not staking Spike because he helps out,” Buffy answered tersely.
“Last time I was around, his idea of helping out usually involved just getting in the way.”
“Yeah, well, a lot’s happened since the last time you were around, Riley,” Buffy got out, trying to rein in her automatic response to shout, or hit.
“I, err, I heard about your mom.”
She closed her eyes, bracing herself for the pain the memory of her mother always brought.
“Surprising, what with you taking off to South America a couple of days before she died.”
“Buffy-“ he started, contrite.
“Whatever,” she snapped, stopping him, “How long’s Spike going to be out?”
“Another ten minutes, at least,” Sam got out.
“Great. Just what I love to do: hang around in a graveyard, waiting to get jumped while my partner’s knocked out.”
“Did you just call Spike your partner?” Riley got out.
“We have been patrolling together for months now.”
“I’m not surprised he stayed around. After all, he’s got what he always wanted: he
gets to hang around you like a sad puppy.”
Had Riley always been this obnoxious, she wondered.
“Actually, he stayed around to look after my little sister.”
“Convenient excuse.”
“When I was dead?”
That bombshell silenced them and both Finns just stared at her. And God, the thought of Riley married was still doing odd things to her stomach.
“Dead?” Riley murmured, dark eyes searching her.
“Long story. Short version, not dead anymore.”
There was an awkward silence and she sighed, crossing her arms lightly.
“So, what are you doing in this part of the world?”
“We’re on a mission,” Riley answered.
“But we’re thinking of moving to California, too. I miss it,” Sam added with a smile.
“Great. Well I don’t recommend Sunnydale. Hellmouth and all.”
“Isn’t it exciting though?” Sam asked, “I mean, there must be so much demon activity. You must have seen so many different species of demon.”
“Tons of excitement here,” Buffy got out sarcastically.
“And you work with a vampire. Fascinating.”
Sam was regarding her like some sort of specimen now and Buffy had the absurd urge to tell the woman that she had also been in the habit of sleeping with said vampire quite recently. See what Mrs. Science made of that.
“He’s one of the best fighters I’ve ever met. Seemed like a smart idea.”
She saw Riley frown at the words and couldn’t help a little smile- which she quickly repressed. Poor Riley never had been able to deal with his physical weakness.
“And has the behaviour modification chip really made a difference?” Sam asked, all-scientist now. Buffy just sighed, not wanting to go into a long discussion about Spike’s different behaviour with this woman.
Luckily, she was saved from that when Spike let out a low moan, drawing all eyes to him.
“Bloody hell, Slayer,” he mumbled, “What did you do?”
“I didn’t do anything.” she bit out, angry that he instantly accused her.
He began to push himself to his feet, Sam watching him in amazement.
“He really shouldn’t be recovering yet.”
Buffy caught the vampire by the arm and helped him to his feet as he took in the pair.
“Well, it takes a lot to keep Spike down, trust me.”
He gave her a look that could only be called lascivious and she frowned, swatting at his arm until he turned to the Finns.
“Well, well, Soldier Boy…Didn’t reckon on seeing you round these parts any time soon.”
“Same,” Riley got out.
The vampire’s gaze moved to Sam, who still had her gun pointed at him.
“Got you to thank for that delightful pleasure, eh pet?”
She said nothing, obviously not entirely sure how to deal with the vampire.
“So, did I miss anything exciting?” Spike asked, glancing at her.
“Nope, just introductions. This is Riley’s wife, Sam.”
Spike’s eyes widened in surprise ever so slightly and a smirk tugged at his lips as he turned to the woman once more.
“Likes his women with a pulse now, does he?”
Riley fumed with Spike’s words and his wife looked suitably shocked and Buffy nudged the vampire in the side.
“They’re here on a mission.”
“Fun for them. Can we get back to our patrol?”
At his words, a sudden ringing started and everyone looked around in confusion until Buffy realised the ringing was coming from Spike.
“Spike, you’re ringing.”
“S’not me. I didn’t do anything.”
“You’re definitely ringing. Do you have a phone?”
“Huh?” he asked, confused, and then he frowned, “Your bloody sister.”
Going into one of his pockets, he pulled out a phone and proceeded to stare at it, as if he could answer it telepathically.
“Oh, give it here. You’re useless,” she remarked, taking the phone out of his hand.
“Your bloody sister. Reckoned I needed one. Didn’t want it.”
She blocked out Spike’s grumbling and answered the phone.
“Dawnie?”
“It’s me, Willow.”
“Hi, Will. What’s up?”
“It’s Dawn.”
“What about her? Is she okay? Where is she?” Buffy asked frantically, her
worried gaze flying to Spike’s.
“We don’t know. She…she’s gone, Buffy. She was acting really strange and she went to her room. But I went to check on her and she wasn’t there.”
“Okay, God,” Buffy took a deep breath, going into general-mode, “Phone her friend, Janice.”
“I think I know where she is,” Spike murmured thoughtfully and Buffy looked at
him hopefully and nodded once.
“Spike thinks he knows where she is. I’ll call you if we find her.”
She quickly hung up the phone and turned to the vampire.
“What is it? Where is she?”
“What day is it?” he asked quietly.
She thought for a moment and then went to speak- and then realised the significance of the day.
“It’s been a year. God, how could I forget?!”
“You’ve been busy. It’s okay.”
“It’s not okay!” Buffy exclaimed and then took a deep breath, trying to calm herself before she turned to the Finns.
“I’m sorry, we really need to go.”
“Do you need any help?”
“No. But if you…if you need any…with the mission…well, you know where I am.”
With that, she and Spike set off across the cemetery.
Remembrance
They reached Restfield Cemetery in no time and Buffy skidded to a halt when she saw her sister knelt in front of a gravestone. More specifically, her mother’s. She didn’t know whether to be upset or angry with her sister for disappearing and with a frown, went to step forward- but she was stopped by Spike’s hand on her arm.
“Let me,” he murmured, his eyes meeting hers.
She wanted to protest but something in his eyes stopped her.
“Just give us a minute, yeah? Me and the Bit spent a lot of time here. Sort of a ritual, you know?” he said softly, his fingers just stroking against her arm.
She nodded silently and he gave her arm a squeeze before turning and making his way over to her sister. He stopped just to the side of the girl and lowered himself to the grass beside her, his arms resting on his bent knees.
She saw Dawn turn her head slightly towards him as he spoke and then the girl nodded. Dawn leant forward then and rested her head against the vampire’s shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. Unable to stay still any longer, Buffy moved towards the pair, their voices growing clearer as she neared them.
“I miss her,” Dawn sobbed, burying her head against Spike’s shoulder.
“I know, pet.”
“I miss her too,” Buffy murmured, just low enough for them to hear.
Dawn whirled round to face her and Buffy smiled sadly, feeling the tears she refused to shed welling up in her eyes. With a little sniffle, she dropped to the ground beside her sister and soon found herself wrapped up in her sister’s tight embrace as they both shed tears for the mother they had lost.
She calmed before her sister did and held the girl close, stroking her hand over her long hair as her eyes met the vampire’s. He questioned her with his eyes and she nodded, reaching out for his hand behind the girl’s back. He took her hand in his, his cool thumb running over the back of her hand as he twined his fingers around hers. She squeezed his hand tightly in hers and rested her head against her sister’s.
“We should get some flowers. She liked flowers,” Buffy whispered, her voice shaking ever so slightly.
Dawn nodded against her and Buffy smiled, stroking her free hand over the girl’s hair as she pulled back to meet her sister’s watery gaze.
“You okay, Dawnie?”
The teenager nodded, wiping away her tears.
“I don’t know about you, but I think I’m in serious need of ice-cream.”
“Cookie dough?” Dawn asked with a smile.
“Always!”
Unlacing her fingers from Spike’s with a soft smile, she got to her feet beside her sister, wrapping an arm around the other girl’s waist.
“What about you, Spike?” Buffy asked with a smile, turning to the vampire, “You up for some ice-cream? On me?”
He quirked an eyebrow and her sister burst out laughing and Buffy gaped, her cheeks flushing bright red.
“I did not mean it like that!” she exclaimed, “Dawnie!”
Her sister tried to suppress her giggles but to no avail and finally Buffy gave in and smiled slightly.
“I just meant I’d pay. Seriously, minds in the gutter, both of you.”
“I blame him!” Dawn got out with a smile as they began to make their way out of the cemetery.
“So do I,” Buffy added, sharing a soft smile with the vampire over her sister’s head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Mmmm, man this ice-cream is good!” Dawn got out around a mouthful of ice-cream and Buffy and Spike shared a smile, glad to see the teenager back to her useful self.
“S’not bad,” Spike agreed, poking at his ice-cream with a spoon.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell not to play with you food?” Buffy commented with a smile.
“Well, course. But it’s been a long time since I paid what she taught me any mind.”
“That would explain your manners,” Buffy teased, taking a mouthful of her ice-cream.
“I’ve got impeccable manners when the occasion calls for it, Summers.”
She just raised an eyebrow in disbelief, smiling gently.
“It’s true,” Dawn mumbled, hardly pausing in her ice-cream devouring, “He goes all Victorian-overload. It’s the funniest thing ever.”
“Little bit of charm goes a long way. Didn’t do us no harm, did it?”
“When was this?” Buffy asked with a smile, looking between the two- so she spotted their sudden stillness instantly.
The silence was deafening and she frowned, looking to her sister and then turning back to Spike.
“When you were…not here, love,” he got out quietly, his bright eyes flashing with pain.
“A social worker came,” Dawn explained quietly, “Came to, you know, check on Giles and everyone. And Spike was around too. He was helping, you know.”
“It’s okay, Dawnie, I know,” she murmured, placing her hand over her sister’s as her eyes met the vampire’s, “He was keeping his promise.”
They shared a long look until Dawn cleared her throat and Buffy turned back to her ice-cream.
Spike escorted the two sisters home and when they arrived back at the house, Buffy invited him in, unwilling to be spared of his company just yet. They sat down to watch a film but Dawn soon grew tired and pushed herself lazily to her feet with a yawn.
“I need sleep.”
“Okay, Dawnie, sleep well.”
Much to her surprise, Dawn leant down and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“I love you, Buffy.”
“I…I love you too, Dawnie.”
Dawn pulled away with a smile and with a little wave to Spike, she moved to the door.
“And Buffy?” Dawn added, pausing at the door and drawing Buffy’s gaze to her, “You’re a great sister.”
With that, Dawn disappeared upstairs and Buffy could only sit there, stunned by her sister’s words- and moved by them too.
“Guess I better get going,” Spike spoke up, jolting her out of her daze and she turned to him. As soon as their eyes met, he smiled and reached out to brush a hair from her face.
“You big softie, Summers. Come here.”
Before she could answer, he had dragged her into his embrace and she wrapped her arms around him, letting out a little laugh against his chest.
“I’m glad she doesn’t hate me anymore,” she whispered.
“She never hated you. She just wasn’t sure how to deal with you.”
“Don’t think anyone was. Except you.”
“Well, know a bit about coming back from the dead.”
She laughed lightly and then slowly extracted herself from his embrace- much as it pained her to do so- with a soft smile. He rose to his feet and she followed him to the door, leaning against it as he lingered in the doorway.
“Thanks for everything tonight, Spike.”
“Anytime.”
She shared a smile and he moved another step away from her.
“Reckon we’ll be hearing from the Finns soon?” he asked casually and she frowned.
“Probably. I kinda hope not…but I’m sure God hates me.”
Spike just laughed and brushed a hand against her arm.
“Night, Buffy.”
“Night.”
He turned and dropped down onto the path, hands stuffed in his pockets as he strolled away into the darkness. She watched him for a short time before finally shutting the door and making her way to her own bed.
“Let me,” he murmured, his eyes meeting hers.
She wanted to protest but something in his eyes stopped her.
“Just give us a minute, yeah? Me and the Bit spent a lot of time here. Sort of a ritual, you know?” he said softly, his fingers just stroking against her arm.
She nodded silently and he gave her arm a squeeze before turning and making his way over to her sister. He stopped just to the side of the girl and lowered himself to the grass beside her, his arms resting on his bent knees.
She saw Dawn turn her head slightly towards him as he spoke and then the girl nodded. Dawn leant forward then and rested her head against the vampire’s shoulder as he wrapped an arm around her. Unable to stay still any longer, Buffy moved towards the pair, their voices growing clearer as she neared them.
“I miss her,” Dawn sobbed, burying her head against Spike’s shoulder.
“I know, pet.”
“I miss her too,” Buffy murmured, just low enough for them to hear.
Dawn whirled round to face her and Buffy smiled sadly, feeling the tears she refused to shed welling up in her eyes. With a little sniffle, she dropped to the ground beside her sister and soon found herself wrapped up in her sister’s tight embrace as they both shed tears for the mother they had lost.
She calmed before her sister did and held the girl close, stroking her hand over her long hair as her eyes met the vampire’s. He questioned her with his eyes and she nodded, reaching out for his hand behind the girl’s back. He took her hand in his, his cool thumb running over the back of her hand as he twined his fingers around hers. She squeezed his hand tightly in hers and rested her head against her sister’s.
“We should get some flowers. She liked flowers,” Buffy whispered, her voice shaking ever so slightly.
Dawn nodded against her and Buffy smiled, stroking her free hand over the girl’s hair as she pulled back to meet her sister’s watery gaze.
“You okay, Dawnie?”
The teenager nodded, wiping away her tears.
“I don’t know about you, but I think I’m in serious need of ice-cream.”
“Cookie dough?” Dawn asked with a smile.
“Always!”
Unlacing her fingers from Spike’s with a soft smile, she got to her feet beside her sister, wrapping an arm around the other girl’s waist.
“What about you, Spike?” Buffy asked with a smile, turning to the vampire, “You up for some ice-cream? On me?”
He quirked an eyebrow and her sister burst out laughing and Buffy gaped, her cheeks flushing bright red.
“I did not mean it like that!” she exclaimed, “Dawnie!”
Her sister tried to suppress her giggles but to no avail and finally Buffy gave in and smiled slightly.
“I just meant I’d pay. Seriously, minds in the gutter, both of you.”
“I blame him!” Dawn got out with a smile as they began to make their way out of the cemetery.
“So do I,” Buffy added, sharing a soft smile with the vampire over her sister’s head.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~
“Mmmm, man this ice-cream is good!” Dawn got out around a mouthful of ice-cream and Buffy and Spike shared a smile, glad to see the teenager back to her useful self.
“S’not bad,” Spike agreed, poking at his ice-cream with a spoon.
“Didn’t your mother ever tell not to play with you food?” Buffy commented with a smile.
“Well, course. But it’s been a long time since I paid what she taught me any mind.”
“That would explain your manners,” Buffy teased, taking a mouthful of her ice-cream.
“I’ve got impeccable manners when the occasion calls for it, Summers.”
She just raised an eyebrow in disbelief, smiling gently.
“It’s true,” Dawn mumbled, hardly pausing in her ice-cream devouring, “He goes all Victorian-overload. It’s the funniest thing ever.”
“Little bit of charm goes a long way. Didn’t do us no harm, did it?”
“When was this?” Buffy asked with a smile, looking between the two- so she spotted their sudden stillness instantly.
The silence was deafening and she frowned, looking to her sister and then turning back to Spike.
“When you were…not here, love,” he got out quietly, his bright eyes flashing with pain.
“A social worker came,” Dawn explained quietly, “Came to, you know, check on Giles and everyone. And Spike was around too. He was helping, you know.”
“It’s okay, Dawnie, I know,” she murmured, placing her hand over her sister’s as her eyes met the vampire’s, “He was keeping his promise.”
They shared a long look until Dawn cleared her throat and Buffy turned back to her ice-cream.
Spike escorted the two sisters home and when they arrived back at the house, Buffy invited him in, unwilling to be spared of his company just yet. They sat down to watch a film but Dawn soon grew tired and pushed herself lazily to her feet with a yawn.
“I need sleep.”
“Okay, Dawnie, sleep well.”
Much to her surprise, Dawn leant down and wrapped her arms around her, hugging her tightly.
“I love you, Buffy.”
“I…I love you too, Dawnie.”
Dawn pulled away with a smile and with a little wave to Spike, she moved to the door.
“And Buffy?” Dawn added, pausing at the door and drawing Buffy’s gaze to her, “You’re a great sister.”
With that, Dawn disappeared upstairs and Buffy could only sit there, stunned by her sister’s words- and moved by them too.
“Guess I better get going,” Spike spoke up, jolting her out of her daze and she turned to him. As soon as their eyes met, he smiled and reached out to brush a hair from her face.
“You big softie, Summers. Come here.”
Before she could answer, he had dragged her into his embrace and she wrapped her arms around him, letting out a little laugh against his chest.
“I’m glad she doesn’t hate me anymore,” she whispered.
“She never hated you. She just wasn’t sure how to deal with you.”
“Don’t think anyone was. Except you.”
“Well, know a bit about coming back from the dead.”
She laughed lightly and then slowly extracted herself from his embrace- much as it pained her to do so- with a soft smile. He rose to his feet and she followed him to the door, leaning against it as he lingered in the doorway.
“Thanks for everything tonight, Spike.”
“Anytime.”
She shared a smile and he moved another step away from her.
“Reckon we’ll be hearing from the Finns soon?” he asked casually and she frowned.
“Probably. I kinda hope not…but I’m sure God hates me.”
Spike just laughed and brushed a hand against her arm.
“Night, Buffy.”
“Night.”
He turned and dropped down onto the path, hands stuffed in his pockets as he strolled away into the darkness. She watched him for a short time before finally shutting the door and making her way to her own bed.
Unwanted Visitors
Unwanted Visitors
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patrol had been maddeningly quiet once again and she and Spike had made their way back to his crypt already early into the night, both of them annoyed by the lack of violence.
“What is with this town lately?” Buffy huffed, settling down on the sofa with crossed arms.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if the military presence was keeping demons at home.”
“Ugh,” was her only answer as she sank further into the old sofa, thoroughly frustrated- and not even wanting to consider all the lovely things Spike could do to make her feel better.
“Wish he’d never come back,” she sulked, pouting slightly.
Spike dropped into the armchair to her side and raised an eyebrow, head tilted as he watched her, waiting for an explanation.
“Why’s that then, pet?”
She turned to him and bit her lip as she explained.
“Well…is it wrong that the thought of Riley with a wife is making me all with the wiggy? It’s just…wrong.”
“Jealous, pet?”
She met his narrowed eyes and shook her head.
“I’m really not.”
They were silent for a moment and she found herself wanting to explain further.
“I mean…it hurt, when he left. But I…well, it took a while for it to sink in…but Riley was never right for me.”
“Told you, didn’t I?” he commented with a soft smile.
“You did. You were right. You do tend to be…about things I don’t like to admit at the time.”
His eyes widened in surprise at her honesty, and then a smile spread across his face.
“Never thought I’d hear you say that, love.”
“Yeah, well don’t get too bigheaded. It was a one time thing, I promise,” she remarked with a smile.
“Fair enough.”
They fell into an easy silence and she smiled, curling her legs up underneath her.
“So, I hear Dawnie’s been coming round again?”
“Yeah. It’s good to have her around. It was kinda weird not having her around after…you know.”
She nodded in understanding- knowing that her sister had stayed away since her return because of her own order to do so.
“I hear she’s been helping you re-decorate?”
“That’s what she called it, eh? Changing a few things around?”
“Can I see?” Buffy asked softly.
He froze for a minute and then pushed himself to his feet, nodding towards the trapdoor.
“Come on then, Slayer.”
She got to her feet and followed him down into the lower part of the crypt. He made a vague sweeping gesture and she smiled at the few changes she could spot in the room. She walked around the edge, running her hand over the edge of the chest that held his clothes- all black, of course- and paused when she spotted the picture on top of it: a picture of her and Dawn.
Instead of accusing him, as she might once have done, she just smiled and continued her inspection. She stopped in front of the shelves of books, noting some new additions.
“New books?” she asked, just glancing at him where he sat on the bed.
“Yeah. The Bit brought them over…I think they’re your mum’s. Hope you don’t mind.”
She turned to him with a smile and shook her head.
“At least someone’s reading them. Me and Dawn aren’t really readers.”
“I noticed,” he teased.
“Hey, I could read if I wanted to! I just choose not to.”
“Sure, love.”
She glared at him but he just smiled widely and she shook her head, turning back to the shelves.
Apart from the books and the picture, there had been few additions to his meagre decoration and in fact, as he had said, things had just been moved around. She smiled and leant against a small table, turning to face him again.
“I like it.”
“Glad you approve,” he murmured with a smile, leaning back on his hands on the bed. For a second, her gaze was drawn to the bed and memories of her time in it flashed before her eyes but she quickly shook them away.
“So, how do you think Dawnie’s doing?” she asked softly, “I was starting to get really worried about her.”
“I think she’s doing a lot better, love. Trust me, anything’s better than when she
didn’t have her big sis around.”
She smiled softly, tracing her finger against the ridge of the table.
“It’s not easy playing mom to a fifteen-year-old.”
“You do it pretty well though.”
“Thanks,” she whispered, her eyes rising to his.
Suddenly, they heard a noise from the upper level of the crypt and they both started, eyes flying to the trapdoor. Buffy took a step forward but before she could get any further, a canister landed on the floor and began to pour out thick smoke. She tried to make out anything through the smoke that quickly filled the room but the smoke was making her eyes water and irritating her throat. She could feel it working its way into her system and began to feel light-headed.
“Spike?” she choked out, trying to make out his form in the smoke.
She held out a hesitant hand and it collided with his chest and he soon wrapped his hand around hers. She felt light-headed again and stumbled towards him, feeling his arms wrap around her as she coughed, burying her head against his chest.
The smoke finally began to clear and she was able to make out two forms by the ladder- Riley and Sam. Pushing herself away from Spike, but steadying herself with a hand on his shoulder, she frowned at the pair.
“What’s going on?” she choked out, her eyes still watering.
The Finns removed their gas masks and Riley frowned, looking between her and Spike, and then made a guilty face.
“We weren’t sure Spike still lived here. We were checking for demons.”
“Right…just checking for demons?” Buffy asked tautly, righting herself fully and crossing her arms.
“Err, yeah,” Riley got out unconvincingly, “We detected demonic activity here.”
“Yeah, Spike’s bedroom is just the centre of demonic activity,” Buffy stated acidly.
At Spike’s smothered laugh, she turned to him and rolled her eyes with a tiny smile.
“That sounded a lot better in my head.”
Spike chuckled and she turned back to the Finns, not missing their small exchange of glances.
“What are you doing here anyway, Buffy?”
“Didn’t realise I needed to report to you, Riley.”
“I was only asking.”
“Well, patrol was dead so I’m hanging out with Spike. Got a problem with that?”
Riley said nothing and Buffy flashed a small smile at Spike.
“I better get back to Dawnie. Who knows what she gets up to when I’m out!”
She then turned back to the Finns, her expression turning serious.
“How about I show you out so you can find some real demon activity?”
Both Finns turned to the ladder and began to make their way out and with another small smile in Spike’s direction, she followed them.
“Bye, Spike.”
“Bye, love.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Patrol had been maddeningly quiet once again and she and Spike had made their way back to his crypt already early into the night, both of them annoyed by the lack of violence.
“What is with this town lately?” Buffy huffed, settling down on the sofa with crossed arms.
“Wouldn’t be surprised if the military presence was keeping demons at home.”
“Ugh,” was her only answer as she sank further into the old sofa, thoroughly frustrated- and not even wanting to consider all the lovely things Spike could do to make her feel better.
“Wish he’d never come back,” she sulked, pouting slightly.
Spike dropped into the armchair to her side and raised an eyebrow, head tilted as he watched her, waiting for an explanation.
“Why’s that then, pet?”
She turned to him and bit her lip as she explained.
“Well…is it wrong that the thought of Riley with a wife is making me all with the wiggy? It’s just…wrong.”
“Jealous, pet?”
She met his narrowed eyes and shook her head.
“I’m really not.”
They were silent for a moment and she found herself wanting to explain further.
“I mean…it hurt, when he left. But I…well, it took a while for it to sink in…but Riley was never right for me.”
“Told you, didn’t I?” he commented with a soft smile.
“You did. You were right. You do tend to be…about things I don’t like to admit at the time.”
His eyes widened in surprise at her honesty, and then a smile spread across his face.
“Never thought I’d hear you say that, love.”
“Yeah, well don’t get too bigheaded. It was a one time thing, I promise,” she remarked with a smile.
“Fair enough.”
They fell into an easy silence and she smiled, curling her legs up underneath her.
“So, I hear Dawnie’s been coming round again?”
“Yeah. It’s good to have her around. It was kinda weird not having her around after…you know.”
She nodded in understanding- knowing that her sister had stayed away since her return because of her own order to do so.
“I hear she’s been helping you re-decorate?”
“That’s what she called it, eh? Changing a few things around?”
“Can I see?” Buffy asked softly.
He froze for a minute and then pushed himself to his feet, nodding towards the trapdoor.
“Come on then, Slayer.”
She got to her feet and followed him down into the lower part of the crypt. He made a vague sweeping gesture and she smiled at the few changes she could spot in the room. She walked around the edge, running her hand over the edge of the chest that held his clothes- all black, of course- and paused when she spotted the picture on top of it: a picture of her and Dawn.
Instead of accusing him, as she might once have done, she just smiled and continued her inspection. She stopped in front of the shelves of books, noting some new additions.
“New books?” she asked, just glancing at him where he sat on the bed.
“Yeah. The Bit brought them over…I think they’re your mum’s. Hope you don’t mind.”
She turned to him with a smile and shook her head.
“At least someone’s reading them. Me and Dawn aren’t really readers.”
“I noticed,” he teased.
“Hey, I could read if I wanted to! I just choose not to.”
“Sure, love.”
She glared at him but he just smiled widely and she shook her head, turning back to the shelves.
Apart from the books and the picture, there had been few additions to his meagre decoration and in fact, as he had said, things had just been moved around. She smiled and leant against a small table, turning to face him again.
“I like it.”
“Glad you approve,” he murmured with a smile, leaning back on his hands on the bed. For a second, her gaze was drawn to the bed and memories of her time in it flashed before her eyes but she quickly shook them away.
“So, how do you think Dawnie’s doing?” she asked softly, “I was starting to get really worried about her.”
“I think she’s doing a lot better, love. Trust me, anything’s better than when she
didn’t have her big sis around.”
She smiled softly, tracing her finger against the ridge of the table.
“It’s not easy playing mom to a fifteen-year-old.”
“You do it pretty well though.”
“Thanks,” she whispered, her eyes rising to his.
Suddenly, they heard a noise from the upper level of the crypt and they both started, eyes flying to the trapdoor. Buffy took a step forward but before she could get any further, a canister landed on the floor and began to pour out thick smoke. She tried to make out anything through the smoke that quickly filled the room but the smoke was making her eyes water and irritating her throat. She could feel it working its way into her system and began to feel light-headed.
“Spike?” she choked out, trying to make out his form in the smoke.
She held out a hesitant hand and it collided with his chest and he soon wrapped his hand around hers. She felt light-headed again and stumbled towards him, feeling his arms wrap around her as she coughed, burying her head against his chest.
The smoke finally began to clear and she was able to make out two forms by the ladder- Riley and Sam. Pushing herself away from Spike, but steadying herself with a hand on his shoulder, she frowned at the pair.
“What’s going on?” she choked out, her eyes still watering.
The Finns removed their gas masks and Riley frowned, looking between her and Spike, and then made a guilty face.
“We weren’t sure Spike still lived here. We were checking for demons.”
“Right…just checking for demons?” Buffy asked tautly, righting herself fully and crossing her arms.
“Err, yeah,” Riley got out unconvincingly, “We detected demonic activity here.”
“Yeah, Spike’s bedroom is just the centre of demonic activity,” Buffy stated acidly.
At Spike’s smothered laugh, she turned to him and rolled her eyes with a tiny smile.
“That sounded a lot better in my head.”
Spike chuckled and she turned back to the Finns, not missing their small exchange of glances.
“What are you doing here anyway, Buffy?”
“Didn’t realise I needed to report to you, Riley.”
“I was only asking.”
“Well, patrol was dead so I’m hanging out with Spike. Got a problem with that?”
Riley said nothing and Buffy flashed a small smile at Spike.
“I better get back to Dawnie. Who knows what she gets up to when I’m out!”
She then turned back to the Finns, her expression turning serious.
“How about I show you out so you can find some real demon activity?”
Both Finns turned to the ladder and began to make their way out and with another small smile in Spike’s direction, she followed them.
“Bye, Spike.”
“Bye, love.”
A Bit Of Rough & Tumble
A Bit Of Rough & Tumble
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why oh why does God hate me so much that he wants my ex and his wife to live in Sunnydale?”
Spike just laughed at her outburst and they continued on their patrol.
“Seriously,” she continued, “Why couldn’t they just go back to South America? That’s where exes go right?” she added with a smile.
Spike glared at her but she smiled widely, finally forcing him into a reluctant smile.
“Maybe the Initiative’s setting up shop again round the Hellmouth,” he commented wryly.
“They better not! Didn’t they learn last time that this is my town?!”
“Your town, eh, Slayer?”
“Well, in a Slayerey-demon way,” she amended sheepishly as he grinned at her, shaking his head as they continued onwards.
They fell into a comfortable silence then, winding their way around the headstones of Highgate Cemetery.
“You seem to be taking it well though,” Spike spoke up after a few minutes of silence, just glancing at her.
“Taking what well?”
“Soldier Boy and his missus.”
“Not like I can complain, is it? I drove him away.”
“Now, love-“
“I know, I know. Multiple issues, not least my slaying and his vampire-bitey thing.”
They shared a smile and moved on, leaving the cemetery and heading for the next one.
They reached Restfield fifteen minutes and one vampire later and both vampire and slayer were itching for something more of a challenge.
“I want something to fight,” Buffy moaned, even throwing in a pout as she turned to Spike- and quickly suppressing it as his eyes latched on to her lips. He looked up guiltily and she gave him a shy smile.
“Could fight me.”
“Huh?”
“Bit of a rough and tumble…of the non-naughty variety, ‘course.”
“You’re on!” she exclaimed after less than a minute’s reflection.
Less than ten minutes later, she was letting them in the back door of the shop, eager to fight. Spike, seeing her enthusiasm, laughed and she smiled sheepishly as she shrugged out of her jacket.
“It’s been a while since I had a good rough and tumble,” she commented, smiling wickedly as she turned her back on Spike and bent to pull her boots off.
She turned back to find him leering at her and she shook her head, stepping forward and shoving him in the shoulder, forcing him into motion.
“Come on, slow poke. I wanna fight already!”
He laughed again at her eagerness, slipping off his duster and laying it down on a bench before taking up a defensive stance opposite her. She smiled and beckoned him with one finger, her other hand in a fist. He shook his head with a smile, beckoning her in turn. For a moment, she held out, not wanting to give in- but her eagerness to fight spurred her into motion and she flew at him, throwing a punch that he easily dodged.
And then they were off, moving quickly into the familiar steps of their dance: punch, dodge, kick, dodge. They were wearing matching grins as they sparred and she let out a laugh, truly enjoying the fight. No fight between them had ever been so lighthearted and it warmed her, making her every motion more playful. He spun, dodging a blow, and she took the opportunity to slap him on the backside with a laugh. He quickly spun back to face her, looking shocked for just a second before he smiled- a Cheshire cat grin- and began to stalk towards her, the vision of a deadly predator. She was laughing even as she backed away, her giggles tickling her throat as she watched him intently, waiting for him to make his move.
Before she realised it, she was backed up against the wall and her eyes went wide as she let out a nervous laugh.
“Now, now, Mr. Big Bad Vampire…” she got out, holding out her hands as she continued to giggle. He growled lowly, stepping even closer, his eyes dark.
“Fee fie foe fum…I smell the blood of a fresh little Slayer…” he murmured, stepping dangerously close, his hands coming to rest on either side of her head, pinning her to the wall.
With a giggle, she slipped under his arm and had almost escaped before he caught her around the waist, tugging her back against him as she let out a squeal, her hand wrapping around his arm as she tried to pry him away.
“Naughty naughty Slayer,” he growled, a low vibration in her ear that sent tingles right down her spine- very bad tingles that she made a desperate effort to ignore.
“No, good Slayer!” she replied, her giggling turning to a squeak as his fingers dug
into her side, “No!”
He laughed, one arm still restraining her as he tickled her and she squirmed, trying to break free from his grasp.
“Is this some sort of foreplay?”
Her head snapped up, her fingers still wrapped around Spike’s arm as wide eyes took in the questioning look of the new Mrs. Harris.
Righting herself quickly, Buffy felt the blood rushing to her cheeks.
“We were sparring,” she explained quickly, shooting a glance at Spike before turning back to Anya.
“Is that how you fight all vampires? Because I don’t think that would make you a very good Slayer, really. I’m sure it probably just gets them more excited, with all your blood pumping around.”
“Thanks for the tip, Anya.”
With a self-satisfied nod, the woman turned and left the training room again, leaving them in awkward silence.
“Well, I should be, err, heading home,” Buffy finally got out, not daring to meet his eyes as she moved to pull her boots on, “I’m practising this good-mom thing…not leaving Dawnie alone for too long, you know? I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to set me a curfew. She’s getting big on family time…you should come some time-“
“Buffy,” he got out lowly, drawing her hesitant gaze to him from the zip of her
boot. Fully aware of the fact that she had been rambling to cover their awkwardness, she blushed again- simultaneously wondering why being around Spike seemed to involve a whole lot of blushing lately.
“I know, rambling,” she got out before he could speak and she smiled sheepishly, “New Buffy is very good at rambling to cover potentially awkward situations.”
“Old Buffy wasn’t so bad at it either,” he teased, offering her a hand and pulling
her to her feet. For a moment neither of them moved, their eyes locked and all she could think of was how close he was, how her fingers were itching to reach out and touch him, how long it had been since she had felt his cool lips against hers. He moved first, taking a step back, his eyes moving from hers as she let out a breath.
“Well, you better get back to the Bit.”
“Yeah,” she breathed, shaking her head and heading for the door, “Thanks for
tonight.”
“My pleasure,” he practically purred.
Their eyes met and it took all of her willpower to turn away and make her way out of the shop.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Why oh why does God hate me so much that he wants my ex and his wife to live in Sunnydale?”
Spike just laughed at her outburst and they continued on their patrol.
“Seriously,” she continued, “Why couldn’t they just go back to South America? That’s where exes go right?” she added with a smile.
Spike glared at her but she smiled widely, finally forcing him into a reluctant smile.
“Maybe the Initiative’s setting up shop again round the Hellmouth,” he commented wryly.
“They better not! Didn’t they learn last time that this is my town?!”
“Your town, eh, Slayer?”
“Well, in a Slayerey-demon way,” she amended sheepishly as he grinned at her, shaking his head as they continued onwards.
They fell into a comfortable silence then, winding their way around the headstones of Highgate Cemetery.
“You seem to be taking it well though,” Spike spoke up after a few minutes of silence, just glancing at her.
“Taking what well?”
“Soldier Boy and his missus.”
“Not like I can complain, is it? I drove him away.”
“Now, love-“
“I know, I know. Multiple issues, not least my slaying and his vampire-bitey thing.”
They shared a smile and moved on, leaving the cemetery and heading for the next one.
They reached Restfield fifteen minutes and one vampire later and both vampire and slayer were itching for something more of a challenge.
“I want something to fight,” Buffy moaned, even throwing in a pout as she turned to Spike- and quickly suppressing it as his eyes latched on to her lips. He looked up guiltily and she gave him a shy smile.
“Could fight me.”
“Huh?”
“Bit of a rough and tumble…of the non-naughty variety, ‘course.”
“You’re on!” she exclaimed after less than a minute’s reflection.
Less than ten minutes later, she was letting them in the back door of the shop, eager to fight. Spike, seeing her enthusiasm, laughed and she smiled sheepishly as she shrugged out of her jacket.
“It’s been a while since I had a good rough and tumble,” she commented, smiling wickedly as she turned her back on Spike and bent to pull her boots off.
She turned back to find him leering at her and she shook her head, stepping forward and shoving him in the shoulder, forcing him into motion.
“Come on, slow poke. I wanna fight already!”
He laughed again at her eagerness, slipping off his duster and laying it down on a bench before taking up a defensive stance opposite her. She smiled and beckoned him with one finger, her other hand in a fist. He shook his head with a smile, beckoning her in turn. For a moment, she held out, not wanting to give in- but her eagerness to fight spurred her into motion and she flew at him, throwing a punch that he easily dodged.
And then they were off, moving quickly into the familiar steps of their dance: punch, dodge, kick, dodge. They were wearing matching grins as they sparred and she let out a laugh, truly enjoying the fight. No fight between them had ever been so lighthearted and it warmed her, making her every motion more playful. He spun, dodging a blow, and she took the opportunity to slap him on the backside with a laugh. He quickly spun back to face her, looking shocked for just a second before he smiled- a Cheshire cat grin- and began to stalk towards her, the vision of a deadly predator. She was laughing even as she backed away, her giggles tickling her throat as she watched him intently, waiting for him to make his move.
Before she realised it, she was backed up against the wall and her eyes went wide as she let out a nervous laugh.
“Now, now, Mr. Big Bad Vampire…” she got out, holding out her hands as she continued to giggle. He growled lowly, stepping even closer, his eyes dark.
“Fee fie foe fum…I smell the blood of a fresh little Slayer…” he murmured, stepping dangerously close, his hands coming to rest on either side of her head, pinning her to the wall.
With a giggle, she slipped under his arm and had almost escaped before he caught her around the waist, tugging her back against him as she let out a squeal, her hand wrapping around his arm as she tried to pry him away.
“Naughty naughty Slayer,” he growled, a low vibration in her ear that sent tingles right down her spine- very bad tingles that she made a desperate effort to ignore.
“No, good Slayer!” she replied, her giggling turning to a squeak as his fingers dug
into her side, “No!”
He laughed, one arm still restraining her as he tickled her and she squirmed, trying to break free from his grasp.
“Is this some sort of foreplay?”
Her head snapped up, her fingers still wrapped around Spike’s arm as wide eyes took in the questioning look of the new Mrs. Harris.
Righting herself quickly, Buffy felt the blood rushing to her cheeks.
“We were sparring,” she explained quickly, shooting a glance at Spike before turning back to Anya.
“Is that how you fight all vampires? Because I don’t think that would make you a very good Slayer, really. I’m sure it probably just gets them more excited, with all your blood pumping around.”
“Thanks for the tip, Anya.”
With a self-satisfied nod, the woman turned and left the training room again, leaving them in awkward silence.
“Well, I should be, err, heading home,” Buffy finally got out, not daring to meet his eyes as she moved to pull her boots on, “I’m practising this good-mom thing…not leaving Dawnie alone for too long, you know? I wouldn’t be surprised if she tried to set me a curfew. She’s getting big on family time…you should come some time-“
“Buffy,” he got out lowly, drawing her hesitant gaze to him from the zip of her
boot. Fully aware of the fact that she had been rambling to cover their awkwardness, she blushed again- simultaneously wondering why being around Spike seemed to involve a whole lot of blushing lately.
“I know, rambling,” she got out before he could speak and she smiled sheepishly, “New Buffy is very good at rambling to cover potentially awkward situations.”
“Old Buffy wasn’t so bad at it either,” he teased, offering her a hand and pulling
her to her feet. For a moment neither of them moved, their eyes locked and all she could think of was how close he was, how her fingers were itching to reach out and touch him, how long it had been since she had felt his cool lips against hers. He moved first, taking a step back, his eyes moving from hers as she let out a breath.
“Well, you better get back to the Bit.”
“Yeah,” she breathed, shaking her head and heading for the door, “Thanks for
tonight.”
“My pleasure,” he practically purred.
Their eyes met and it took all of her willpower to turn away and make her way out of the shop.
Outed
Outed
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re having dinner with Riley and Sam?!” Buffy exploded, staring at her friend as if he had just announced he was going to the Arctic.
“Yeah…they invited us and Anya couldn’t resist. You know, she gets to talk with
another married woman and everything.”
Buffy frowned and slumped back in her chair, turning her head towards where the vampire was perched on the stairs just behind her.
“See? God does hate me. Not only does he move my ex here, but he gets him to take my friends away!”
Spike just laughed and she crossed her arms, in full pout mode.
“It’s just dinner, Buff.”
“It’s so old-married couplish.”
“Well, that’s us now, I guess.”
“Ugh,” was Buffy’s reply, “Not surprising for them…They’re so…whitebread. Sam even more than Riley.”
Spike laughed again at her words and, realising what she had said, she sat up and met her friend’s surprised look with a sheepish smile.
“I’ve definitely been spending too much time with him,” she exclaimed, nodding in Spike’s
direction.
“I hope you’re not really upset about it, Buff.”
“Course not, Xand. You go have fun playing happy couples.”
With a smile, he rose and went to find his wife and Buffy turned to Spike, making a gagging gesture that brought another laugh from him.
“Come on, Miss. Bitter. Let’s find you something to kill.”
She stuck her tongue out at him but stood nonetheless and followed him out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, she made her way into the shop after finishing work- only to find Xander and Riley chatting away happily as Anya counted the money from the till.
“Oh, hi,” she got out, trying her best not to narrow her eyes at her ex-boyfriend.
“Hey, Buff.”
“Hey. How’d dinner go?” she asked politely, settling into a chair.
“Well, yeah-“
“You slept with Spike?!”
She was stunned by Riley’s outburst and looked to her friend, who gave her an apologetic look.
“That good, eh? Had to start talking about my love life?”
“It just kind of slipped out,” Xander explained sheepishly.
“You slept with Spike?!” Riley repeated.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I did.”
“Spike?!”
“Think we gathered that already, Riley.”
“How could you?”
“Well, once again, not your business. But I was going through a rough patch and Spike was there for me. End of story. I’m not going to explain myself to you.”
Before he could say anything, she got to her feet again.
“I need to get home to Dawnie. I’ll see you later, Xand.”
Without another word, she quickly left the shop again, desperately trying to suppress her anger as she marched home.
She let herself in the house and closed the door behind her, still seething with anger.
“Dawn? Are you here?”
“In here,” Dawn called out from the dining room.
"God, you would not believe…I swear I’m going to kill that stupid, whitebread…”
She trailed off as she rounded the corner to find her sister and Spike sat side by side, a large textbook between them.
“Soldier Boy pissing you off?” Spike asked with a smile, head tilted to one side as he studied her.
“Wish he’d never come back,” she sulked, dropping into a chair near the pair, “He’s totally ruined what was actually a good day.”
“Bit, how ‘bout you go get your sister a drink before steam starts coming out of her ears?”
Dawn got to her feet and with a worried look at Buffy, disappeared into the kitchen.
“You alright, love?” Spike questioned.
“Yeah,” she sighed, “Should’ve have known he’d find out sooner or later.”
“Find out what, love?”
“About us,” she admitted, biting her lip as she met his bright gaze, “He started trying to accuse me and I got mad. It’s not like it’s any of his business who I choose to sleep with. Stupid Farm Boy. He’s the one that up and left me.”
“True,” he murmured and she met his eyes again, “What d’you tell him?”
“That it was none of his business and even if it was, I was having a hard time and you…you were there for me.”
She saw him visibly relax then, obviously having expected her to say how wrong their relationship had been.
“It’s alright,” he commented, stretching back and resting his hands behind his head, “He’s just jealous.”
Buffy laughed and he smiled genuinely, his eyes shining as they met hers.
“You know, it’s probably true as well.”
“’Course it is. Who wouldn’t be jealous of this tight body?”
Dawn, just coming into the room at that point, spluttered out an ‘eww’ as she passed the vampire and handed Buffy a glass of water. Buffy smiled as the girl made a gagging gesture before slapping Spike round the back of the head and returning to her seat.
“Hey!” he protested, “No violence.”
“You deserved it,” Dawn commented with a smile, “I was stopping you from getting an even bigger head.”
Buffy laughed at that and he narrowed his eyes at her, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. Smiling still, Buffy stood and began to head for the kitchen.
“Guess I better get dinner started.”
She paused by Spike’s side and he looked up at her questioningly.
“Why don’t you stay for dinner? You can help Dawnie study after dinner.”
He smiled softly, his eyes shining as he looked up at her.
“Then I’ll have to suffer your attempt at cooking,” he teased.
“Just a good thing you’ve got dead taste buds then, isn’t it?!” she joked, poking him in the shoulder and heading through to the kitchen with a smile. Maybe this day wasn’t turning out to bad after all- funny how Spike could always turn her mood around.
They sat down to dinner and passed the meal laughing and joking and she found herself watching her sister and Spike with a tender smile as they bickered. This felt good- relaxing, spending time with the people who were important to her (and yes, that included Spike). It took something as simple as a meal with what was in effect her family- anyone looking at Dawn and Spike could not but peg them as siblings, the way they interacted with each other.
“Dozing off on us, love?”
She jolted back to the present as Spike spoke to her and shook her head with a little smile.
“No. I was just thinking, we should do this more often. With the Scoobies as well.”
“Erm, could someone else cook though?” Dawn asked with a grimace and Buffy laughed, nodding her agreement.
“Someone else can definitely have cooking responsibilities!”
“I don’t mind doing a bit of cooking,” Spike suggested.
“You can cook?” Buffy asked in disbelief.
“Can do a lot of things, love.”
“I think Buffy knows that already,” Dawn murmured under her breath and Buffy gaped.
“Dawn!”
Her sister gave her a sheepish smile and Spike smiled too, until finally she decided to let it pass.
After Spike left, the two sisters settled down in front of the television with a soppy film.
“Tonight was fun,” Dawn spoke up through a mouthful of popcorn.
“Yeah, it was nice.”
“Spike should come round more often.”
“He’s here almost every day anyway!” Buffy pointed out with a laugh.
“Wonder why?!” Dawn sing-songed with a pointed look at her.
“What?!” Buffy protested, “I didn’t do anything!”
“You two are so funny,” Dawn remarked, “You’re the coupliest non-couple I know.”
“No we’re not!”
“You so are. Whenever you’re around each other, you’re always smiling and you have all these little in-jokes and everything.”
“We’re friends.”
“He’s still totally in love with you,” Dawn commented.
“I know,” Buffy answered softly.
“So why won’t you give him another chance?”
“It’s not about that, Dawnie. It’s about me and getting myself sorted.”
“But things are already so much better! And I know you care about him!”
“It’s not that easy, Dawnie,” Buffy explained, surprised by just how vehemently her sister seemed to want her and Spike together, “I don’t know what I want right now…and that’s not fair on Spike. It’s taken a lot for us to just be friends and I don’t want to risk losing that.”
“You’re totally going to end up together,” Dawn commented glibly.
Buffy said nothing and her eyes drifted back to the television, even though her mind was elsewhere.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“You’re having dinner with Riley and Sam?!” Buffy exploded, staring at her friend as if he had just announced he was going to the Arctic.
“Yeah…they invited us and Anya couldn’t resist. You know, she gets to talk with
another married woman and everything.”
Buffy frowned and slumped back in her chair, turning her head towards where the vampire was perched on the stairs just behind her.
“See? God does hate me. Not only does he move my ex here, but he gets him to take my friends away!”
Spike just laughed and she crossed her arms, in full pout mode.
“It’s just dinner, Buff.”
“It’s so old-married couplish.”
“Well, that’s us now, I guess.”
“Ugh,” was Buffy’s reply, “Not surprising for them…They’re so…whitebread. Sam even more than Riley.”
Spike laughed again at her words and, realising what she had said, she sat up and met her friend’s surprised look with a sheepish smile.
“I’ve definitely been spending too much time with him,” she exclaimed, nodding in Spike’s
direction.
“I hope you’re not really upset about it, Buff.”
“Course not, Xand. You go have fun playing happy couples.”
With a smile, he rose and went to find his wife and Buffy turned to Spike, making a gagging gesture that brought another laugh from him.
“Come on, Miss. Bitter. Let’s find you something to kill.”
She stuck her tongue out at him but stood nonetheless and followed him out the door.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next day, she made her way into the shop after finishing work- only to find Xander and Riley chatting away happily as Anya counted the money from the till.
“Oh, hi,” she got out, trying her best not to narrow her eyes at her ex-boyfriend.
“Hey, Buff.”
“Hey. How’d dinner go?” she asked politely, settling into a chair.
“Well, yeah-“
“You slept with Spike?!”
She was stunned by Riley’s outburst and looked to her friend, who gave her an apologetic look.
“That good, eh? Had to start talking about my love life?”
“It just kind of slipped out,” Xander explained sheepishly.
“You slept with Spike?!” Riley repeated.
“Not that it’s any of your business, but yes, I did.”
“Spike?!”
“Think we gathered that already, Riley.”
“How could you?”
“Well, once again, not your business. But I was going through a rough patch and Spike was there for me. End of story. I’m not going to explain myself to you.”
Before he could say anything, she got to her feet again.
“I need to get home to Dawnie. I’ll see you later, Xand.”
Without another word, she quickly left the shop again, desperately trying to suppress her anger as she marched home.
She let herself in the house and closed the door behind her, still seething with anger.
“Dawn? Are you here?”
“In here,” Dawn called out from the dining room.
"God, you would not believe…I swear I’m going to kill that stupid, whitebread…”
She trailed off as she rounded the corner to find her sister and Spike sat side by side, a large textbook between them.
“Soldier Boy pissing you off?” Spike asked with a smile, head tilted to one side as he studied her.
“Wish he’d never come back,” she sulked, dropping into a chair near the pair, “He’s totally ruined what was actually a good day.”
“Bit, how ‘bout you go get your sister a drink before steam starts coming out of her ears?”
Dawn got to her feet and with a worried look at Buffy, disappeared into the kitchen.
“You alright, love?” Spike questioned.
“Yeah,” she sighed, “Should’ve have known he’d find out sooner or later.”
“Find out what, love?”
“About us,” she admitted, biting her lip as she met his bright gaze, “He started trying to accuse me and I got mad. It’s not like it’s any of his business who I choose to sleep with. Stupid Farm Boy. He’s the one that up and left me.”
“True,” he murmured and she met his eyes again, “What d’you tell him?”
“That it was none of his business and even if it was, I was having a hard time and you…you were there for me.”
She saw him visibly relax then, obviously having expected her to say how wrong their relationship had been.
“It’s alright,” he commented, stretching back and resting his hands behind his head, “He’s just jealous.”
Buffy laughed and he smiled genuinely, his eyes shining as they met hers.
“You know, it’s probably true as well.”
“’Course it is. Who wouldn’t be jealous of this tight body?”
Dawn, just coming into the room at that point, spluttered out an ‘eww’ as she passed the vampire and handed Buffy a glass of water. Buffy smiled as the girl made a gagging gesture before slapping Spike round the back of the head and returning to her seat.
“Hey!” he protested, “No violence.”
“You deserved it,” Dawn commented with a smile, “I was stopping you from getting an even bigger head.”
Buffy laughed at that and he narrowed his eyes at her, trying his hardest to keep a straight face. Smiling still, Buffy stood and began to head for the kitchen.
“Guess I better get dinner started.”
She paused by Spike’s side and he looked up at her questioningly.
“Why don’t you stay for dinner? You can help Dawnie study after dinner.”
He smiled softly, his eyes shining as he looked up at her.
“Then I’ll have to suffer your attempt at cooking,” he teased.
“Just a good thing you’ve got dead taste buds then, isn’t it?!” she joked, poking him in the shoulder and heading through to the kitchen with a smile. Maybe this day wasn’t turning out to bad after all- funny how Spike could always turn her mood around.
They sat down to dinner and passed the meal laughing and joking and she found herself watching her sister and Spike with a tender smile as they bickered. This felt good- relaxing, spending time with the people who were important to her (and yes, that included Spike). It took something as simple as a meal with what was in effect her family- anyone looking at Dawn and Spike could not but peg them as siblings, the way they interacted with each other.
“Dozing off on us, love?”
She jolted back to the present as Spike spoke to her and shook her head with a little smile.
“No. I was just thinking, we should do this more often. With the Scoobies as well.”
“Erm, could someone else cook though?” Dawn asked with a grimace and Buffy laughed, nodding her agreement.
“Someone else can definitely have cooking responsibilities!”
“I don’t mind doing a bit of cooking,” Spike suggested.
“You can cook?” Buffy asked in disbelief.
“Can do a lot of things, love.”
“I think Buffy knows that already,” Dawn murmured under her breath and Buffy gaped.
“Dawn!”
Her sister gave her a sheepish smile and Spike smiled too, until finally she decided to let it pass.
After Spike left, the two sisters settled down in front of the television with a soppy film.
“Tonight was fun,” Dawn spoke up through a mouthful of popcorn.
“Yeah, it was nice.”
“Spike should come round more often.”
“He’s here almost every day anyway!” Buffy pointed out with a laugh.
“Wonder why?!” Dawn sing-songed with a pointed look at her.
“What?!” Buffy protested, “I didn’t do anything!”
“You two are so funny,” Dawn remarked, “You’re the coupliest non-couple I know.”
“No we’re not!”
“You so are. Whenever you’re around each other, you’re always smiling and you have all these little in-jokes and everything.”
“We’re friends.”
“He’s still totally in love with you,” Dawn commented.
“I know,” Buffy answered softly.
“So why won’t you give him another chance?”
“It’s not about that, Dawnie. It’s about me and getting myself sorted.”
“But things are already so much better! And I know you care about him!”
“It’s not that easy, Dawnie,” Buffy explained, surprised by just how vehemently her sister seemed to want her and Spike together, “I don’t know what I want right now…and that’s not fair on Spike. It’s taken a lot for us to just be friends and I don’t want to risk losing that.”
“You’re totally going to end up together,” Dawn commented glibly.
Buffy said nothing and her eyes drifted back to the television, even though her mind was elsewhere.
Jealousy
Jealousy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It feels like forever since we’ve been to the Bronze!” Buffy called across the table to Willow.
“It has been forever! Thank Goddess midterms are over!”
“I’ll drink to that!” Buffy called, clinking her glass against Willow’s and taking a
mouthful.
She was definitely in party mode after what had seemed an endlessly long day at work- with thousands of applications to sift. She downed the rest of her drink and placed the empty
glass down on the table.
“I’m in need of more refreshment. Anyone else?” she asked, looking round the table at her friends: all of them paired off. Except Dawn, of course. Thank God.
They shook their heads and she headed for the bar alone, pushing her way through the crowd- and exerting a little Slayer strength to do so. With a smile, she finally reached the bar and leant over it, trying to draw the bartender’s attention. The Bronze was crowded tonight though and it looked like she was in for a long wait. With a sigh, she leant back, surveying the crowd- and breaking into a smile when she spotted a familiar blonde head. Spike seemed to spot her at the same moment and with a smile, he began to make his way through the crowd.
He finally reached the bar and leant on it next to her.
“Evenin’, luv.”
“Hey!”
“Can I get you a drink?”
She raised an eyebrow at him, surprised by his possession of money, but then smiled and nodded to the crowd around them.
“If you can get to the bartender.”
He looked around and smiled.
“See what you mean. Bit of a madhouse in here.”
“I think the whole of Sunnydale’s in here tonight.”
“Including Mr. and Mrs. Whitebread,” Spike commented with a smirk, nodding just to their left, where sure enough, Riley and Sam were dancing.
“Ugh! Just what I need.”
Spike smiled and turned back to the bar, finally catching the bartender’s attention and ordering their drinks. He placed her drink down in front of her and she took it with a wide smile, taking a sip through the straw.
“Let’s sit,” she suggested with a nod of her head and he nodded, following her through the crowd back to the Scoobies’ table. Most of them were off dancing by now but Dawn and Tara were still at the table, both looking slightly out of place.
“Look who I found lurking!” Buffy teased, sliding onto a stool next to her sister as Spike glared at her and took the seat next to her. It was only as he slid his duster off that she realised he was wearing something other than black underneath and she raised an eyebrow at the light blue T-shirt. He caught her looking and raised an eyebrow of his own.
“New clothes?” she asked, leaning close to him so he could hear.
“Nibblet told me I had to update my look,” he explained, his breath cool in her ear as he leaned in close as well, “Decided it might just be time for a little change.”
She smiled and pulled back, meeting her sister’s gaze and giving her a thumbs up.
“Good move,” she mouthed, gesturing in Spike’s direction, and Dawn grinned and nodded. She brought her glass to her mouth again and struggled to grasp the straw with her lips, flicking drink all over the place when she missed. She gave Spike a sheepish look after having splashed him and caught the straw in her hand.
“Are you drunk, Slayer?” he asked, leaning in close again.
“Of course not,” she answered, meeting his gaze under lowered lashes.
He shook his head and sat back again with a little smile. Smiling widely, she caught her straw again and took a long sip of her drink, watching the dancers. As she was watching them, she spotted a familiar face and she waved the girl over, almost spilling her drink over Spike in the process.
“Nina!” she cried when the girl reached her, sliding off her stool and catching the girl in a sloppy hug.
“Hey Buffy! How’s it going?”
“Am enjoying the Bronzeing.”
“Looks like it,” Nina answered, pulling back and looking around the table curiously, her eyes resting for a long moment on the vampire.
“Oh, these are my friends,” Buffy explained, “This is Dawn, my sister. And Tara. And this is-“
“You must be Spike,” Nina cut in, smiling at the vampire, “Buffy’s told me so much about you.”
“Don’t. You’ll give him a bighead!” Buffy protested and the vampire laughed.
“Nice to meet you, pet. How 'bout I get you a drink and you can tell me what Buffy’s been saying about me?”
“Sure,” Nina answered with a smile, sending a wink Buffy’s way as she began to follow the vampire through the crowd. Frowning, Buffy slipped back onto her stool, her eyes following the pair to the bar.
“You know, Buffy, you’re not allowed to slay humans.”
She had been so engrossed in watching Nina and Spike that she hadn’t noticed her friends’ return to the table, or their conversation around her until Willow spoke up.
“Huh?”
“You’ve got Slayer-face on.”
“That’s because her friend from work went off with Spike,” Dawn remarked with a smirk to match the vampire’s trademark one.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Buffy answered primly, drawing her eyes away from where Nina and Spike were laughing at the
bar.
“You’re jealous.”
“I am not,” she answered shortly, unable to stop herself from glancing at the pair once again, “I’m fine. In fact, I’m going to patrol. If Spike decides to come back, tell him that’s where I’ve gone.”
With a ‘humph’, she grabbed her jacket and quickly left the club, pulling her jacket on roughly as soon as she got out into the fresh night air.
She marched through the cemetery- if a little unsteadily- mumbling to herself, but stopped when she spotted a fledgling approaching.
“Ah, just what I need!”
The fledgling looked up at her approach and smiled, amber eyes glowing at the sight of what he thought was dinner. She surprised him with an instant jab to the nose, sending him backwards.
“Come on! That was too easy!”
“Slayer,” he growled, finally figuring out who she was.
“That’s right,” she said proudly, lashing out with a roundhouse kick that sent him to the floor. He grabbed her leg though, pulling her to the floor as well, and she practically growled as she spun and kicked him in the chin. She scrambled to her feet- and succeeded to rip her skirt as she did so.
“Oh, now I’m mad! You made me rip my skirt!”
He smiled and she launched herself at him, flying into a combination of kicks and punches that stunned the vampire and finally gave her the ultimate opportunity to slam a stake through his heart. He exploded into dust and she gave a little self-satisfied nod, brushing her hands and tucking her stake back into her jacket. She then looked down at her skirt and pouted.
“Stupid vampire!”
“Me or him?”
She spun round at Spike’s voice and frowned at him.
“Both,” she answered, “Shouldn’t you be back making nice with Nina?”
“Figured you wanted me here.”
“Don’t know why you’d think that,” she murmured, still fiddling with her ripped skirt.
He laughed and she raised her gaze to him, frowning.
“You’re jealous.”
“In your dreams,” she bit out, going back to her skirt and managing to almost trip over it, “Arghh, stupid skirt.”
His steadying hand was at her elbow then but she shook him off.
“I’m fine.”
“Think you’re edging on tipsy actually.”
“Whatever,” she answered, raising her hem to inspect the long slash.
“Much as I’m enjoying the show, love,” Spike drawled and she raised her eyes again to find his on her legs, “Don’t think you should be doing that in the middle of the graveyard.”
“Why not? S’not like you care!”
He just raised an eyebrow and the next moment, he was at her side, one hand on her back as he began to guide her through the cemetery.
“Where are you taking me?”
“To mine.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“I’m well aware of that, love,” he answered with a laugh.
He guided her into his crypt and onto the sofa, forcing her to sit as he disappeared in search of something. He returned and crouched before her with a small sewing kit.
“Let’s try and fix this up, eh?”
“I’m not taking it off,” she sulked.
“Didn’t ask you to, did I?”
Folding her arms across her chest, she watched him through narrowed eyes as he knelt before her, one hand holding the hem of her skirt.
“Bet you don’t even know how to sew,” she murmured, half to herself.
He said nothing but got out a needle and threaded it, before taking hold of her skirt again and going to work on the long slash. She watched him in silence, head tilted to one side as he worked.
“Spike, do you think Nina’s pretty?” she asked after a long silence and he raised his head, a slight smile on his face.
“She’s pretty enough. Why do you ask?”
“No reason,” she sulked, looking away and waiting for him to continue in his work.
“Now, love, jealous isn’t a good look on you.”
“I’m not jealous,” she sulked, staring down at him with hard eyes.
“Well, good. Because I’m yours and you know that.”
“Do I?” she asked.
He looked up again, eyes soft as they met hers.
“Should hope so.”
She said nothing, drowning in his too-blue eyes.
“She’s not prettier than me?” she whispered, her hand reaching out and finding his arm, her fingers latching onto him.
“Never,” he murmured, his voice low and husky, “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re just saying that,” she murmured sadly, ”You don’t mean it.”
“You know I do,” he whispered, reaching up and brushing her hair away from her face. She closed her eyes at his touch and leant into it with a little sigh. When she opened her eyes again, he was watching her with a burning gaze and she trailed her fingers up his arm, tracing them over his shoulder and bringing them to rest against his neck.
“Show me,” she whispered, leaning forward.
They were inches apart and she saw his eyes flick to her lips- but then he sat back on his heels.
“We should get you home.”
“I don’t want to go home. I want you to kiss me.”
“I know, love. But I think it’s best we get you home and you can clear your head, yeah?”
“I knew it!” she cried, jumping to her feet, “You don’t want me anymore.”
She was halfway to the door when he caught her, spinning her back round and capturing her in his tight embrace. His eyes were burning as she raised heavy-lidded eyes to his and she sank against him.
“You know I do, Buffy. I always want you,” he insisted, shaking her slightly as one hand cradled her face, “But I want you sober.”
“I’m not drunk,” she protested weakly.
“If that’s true, you’ll still want this tomorrow.”
He released her then and took a step back, shrugging his duster back into place.
“Let’s get you home.”
With a meek nod, she made her way out of the crypt with him following behind and they worked their way back to her house. They finally got into the house after a struggle with the keys after she refused to accept his help, even though her co-ordination was not at its best.
“I’m going to bed,” she announced, half expecting the vampire to follow her as she stormed up the stairs and flopped down on her bed, still fully-clothed, and swiftly passed out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“It feels like forever since we’ve been to the Bronze!” Buffy called across the table to Willow.
“It has been forever! Thank Goddess midterms are over!”
“I’ll drink to that!” Buffy called, clinking her glass against Willow’s and taking a
mouthful.
She was definitely in party mode after what had seemed an endlessly long day at work- with thousands of applications to sift. She downed the rest of her drink and placed the empty
glass down on the table.
“I’m in need of more refreshment. Anyone else?” she asked, looking round the table at her friends: all of them paired off. Except Dawn, of course. Thank God.
They shook their heads and she headed for the bar alone, pushing her way through the crowd- and exerting a little Slayer strength to do so. With a smile, she finally reached the bar and leant over it, trying to draw the bartender’s attention. The Bronze was crowded tonight though and it looked like she was in for a long wait. With a sigh, she leant back, surveying the crowd- and breaking into a smile when she spotted a familiar blonde head. Spike seemed to spot her at the same moment and with a smile, he began to make his way through the crowd.
He finally reached the bar and leant on it next to her.
“Evenin’, luv.”
“Hey!”
“Can I get you a drink?”
She raised an eyebrow at him, surprised by his possession of money, but then smiled and nodded to the crowd around them.
“If you can get to the bartender.”
He looked around and smiled.
“See what you mean. Bit of a madhouse in here.”
“I think the whole of Sunnydale’s in here tonight.”
“Including Mr. and Mrs. Whitebread,” Spike commented with a smirk, nodding just to their left, where sure enough, Riley and Sam were dancing.
“Ugh! Just what I need.”
Spike smiled and turned back to the bar, finally catching the bartender’s attention and ordering their drinks. He placed her drink down in front of her and she took it with a wide smile, taking a sip through the straw.
“Let’s sit,” she suggested with a nod of her head and he nodded, following her through the crowd back to the Scoobies’ table. Most of them were off dancing by now but Dawn and Tara were still at the table, both looking slightly out of place.
“Look who I found lurking!” Buffy teased, sliding onto a stool next to her sister as Spike glared at her and took the seat next to her. It was only as he slid his duster off that she realised he was wearing something other than black underneath and she raised an eyebrow at the light blue T-shirt. He caught her looking and raised an eyebrow of his own.
“New clothes?” she asked, leaning close to him so he could hear.
“Nibblet told me I had to update my look,” he explained, his breath cool in her ear as he leaned in close as well, “Decided it might just be time for a little change.”
She smiled and pulled back, meeting her sister’s gaze and giving her a thumbs up.
“Good move,” she mouthed, gesturing in Spike’s direction, and Dawn grinned and nodded. She brought her glass to her mouth again and struggled to grasp the straw with her lips, flicking drink all over the place when she missed. She gave Spike a sheepish look after having splashed him and caught the straw in her hand.
“Are you drunk, Slayer?” he asked, leaning in close again.
“Of course not,” she answered, meeting his gaze under lowered lashes.
He shook his head and sat back again with a little smile. Smiling widely, she caught her straw again and took a long sip of her drink, watching the dancers. As she was watching them, she spotted a familiar face and she waved the girl over, almost spilling her drink over Spike in the process.
“Nina!” she cried when the girl reached her, sliding off her stool and catching the girl in a sloppy hug.
“Hey Buffy! How’s it going?”
“Am enjoying the Bronzeing.”
“Looks like it,” Nina answered, pulling back and looking around the table curiously, her eyes resting for a long moment on the vampire.
“Oh, these are my friends,” Buffy explained, “This is Dawn, my sister. And Tara. And this is-“
“You must be Spike,” Nina cut in, smiling at the vampire, “Buffy’s told me so much about you.”
“Don’t. You’ll give him a bighead!” Buffy protested and the vampire laughed.
“Nice to meet you, pet. How 'bout I get you a drink and you can tell me what Buffy’s been saying about me?”
“Sure,” Nina answered with a smile, sending a wink Buffy’s way as she began to follow the vampire through the crowd. Frowning, Buffy slipped back onto her stool, her eyes following the pair to the bar.
“You know, Buffy, you’re not allowed to slay humans.”
She had been so engrossed in watching Nina and Spike that she hadn’t noticed her friends’ return to the table, or their conversation around her until Willow spoke up.
“Huh?”
“You’ve got Slayer-face on.”
“That’s because her friend from work went off with Spike,” Dawn remarked with a smirk to match the vampire’s trademark one.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Buffy answered primly, drawing her eyes away from where Nina and Spike were laughing at the
bar.
“You’re jealous.”
“I am not,” she answered shortly, unable to stop herself from glancing at the pair once again, “I’m fine. In fact, I’m going to patrol. If Spike decides to come back, tell him that’s where I’ve gone.”
With a ‘humph’, she grabbed her jacket and quickly left the club, pulling her jacket on roughly as soon as she got out into the fresh night air.
She marched through the cemetery- if a little unsteadily- mumbling to herself, but stopped when she spotted a fledgling approaching.
“Ah, just what I need!”
The fledgling looked up at her approach and smiled, amber eyes glowing at the sight of what he thought was dinner. She surprised him with an instant jab to the nose, sending him backwards.
“Come on! That was too easy!”
“Slayer,” he growled, finally figuring out who she was.
“That’s right,” she said proudly, lashing out with a roundhouse kick that sent him to the floor. He grabbed her leg though, pulling her to the floor as well, and she practically growled as she spun and kicked him in the chin. She scrambled to her feet- and succeeded to rip her skirt as she did so.
“Oh, now I’m mad! You made me rip my skirt!”
He smiled and she launched herself at him, flying into a combination of kicks and punches that stunned the vampire and finally gave her the ultimate opportunity to slam a stake through his heart. He exploded into dust and she gave a little self-satisfied nod, brushing her hands and tucking her stake back into her jacket. She then looked down at her skirt and pouted.
“Stupid vampire!”
“Me or him?”
She spun round at Spike’s voice and frowned at him.
“Both,” she answered, “Shouldn’t you be back making nice with Nina?”
“Figured you wanted me here.”
“Don’t know why you’d think that,” she murmured, still fiddling with her ripped skirt.
He laughed and she raised her gaze to him, frowning.
“You’re jealous.”
“In your dreams,” she bit out, going back to her skirt and managing to almost trip over it, “Arghh, stupid skirt.”
His steadying hand was at her elbow then but she shook him off.
“I’m fine.”
“Think you’re edging on tipsy actually.”
“Whatever,” she answered, raising her hem to inspect the long slash.
“Much as I’m enjoying the show, love,” Spike drawled and she raised her eyes again to find his on her legs, “Don’t think you should be doing that in the middle of the graveyard.”
“Why not? S’not like you care!”
He just raised an eyebrow and the next moment, he was at her side, one hand on her back as he began to guide her through the cemetery.
“Where are you taking me?”
“To mine.”
“I’m not going to sleep with you.”
“I’m well aware of that, love,” he answered with a laugh.
He guided her into his crypt and onto the sofa, forcing her to sit as he disappeared in search of something. He returned and crouched before her with a small sewing kit.
“Let’s try and fix this up, eh?”
“I’m not taking it off,” she sulked.
“Didn’t ask you to, did I?”
Folding her arms across her chest, she watched him through narrowed eyes as he knelt before her, one hand holding the hem of her skirt.
“Bet you don’t even know how to sew,” she murmured, half to herself.
He said nothing but got out a needle and threaded it, before taking hold of her skirt again and going to work on the long slash. She watched him in silence, head tilted to one side as he worked.
“Spike, do you think Nina’s pretty?” she asked after a long silence and he raised his head, a slight smile on his face.
“She’s pretty enough. Why do you ask?”
“No reason,” she sulked, looking away and waiting for him to continue in his work.
“Now, love, jealous isn’t a good look on you.”
“I’m not jealous,” she sulked, staring down at him with hard eyes.
“Well, good. Because I’m yours and you know that.”
“Do I?” she asked.
He looked up again, eyes soft as they met hers.
“Should hope so.”
She said nothing, drowning in his too-blue eyes.
“She’s not prettier than me?” she whispered, her hand reaching out and finding his arm, her fingers latching onto him.
“Never,” he murmured, his voice low and husky, “You’re the most beautiful girl I’ve ever seen.”
“You’re just saying that,” she murmured sadly, ”You don’t mean it.”
“You know I do,” he whispered, reaching up and brushing her hair away from her face. She closed her eyes at his touch and leant into it with a little sigh. When she opened her eyes again, he was watching her with a burning gaze and she trailed her fingers up his arm, tracing them over his shoulder and bringing them to rest against his neck.
“Show me,” she whispered, leaning forward.
They were inches apart and she saw his eyes flick to her lips- but then he sat back on his heels.
“We should get you home.”
“I don’t want to go home. I want you to kiss me.”
“I know, love. But I think it’s best we get you home and you can clear your head, yeah?”
“I knew it!” she cried, jumping to her feet, “You don’t want me anymore.”
She was halfway to the door when he caught her, spinning her back round and capturing her in his tight embrace. His eyes were burning as she raised heavy-lidded eyes to his and she sank against him.
“You know I do, Buffy. I always want you,” he insisted, shaking her slightly as one hand cradled her face, “But I want you sober.”
“I’m not drunk,” she protested weakly.
“If that’s true, you’ll still want this tomorrow.”
He released her then and took a step back, shrugging his duster back into place.
“Let’s get you home.”
With a meek nod, she made her way out of the crypt with him following behind and they worked their way back to her house. They finally got into the house after a struggle with the keys after she refused to accept his help, even though her co-ordination was not at its best.
“I’m going to bed,” she announced, half expecting the vampire to follow her as she stormed up the stairs and flopped down on her bed, still fully-clothed, and swiftly passed out.
Mistakes
Mistakes
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke to the blare of her alarm clock and groaned as she remembered that she and Nina had volunteered to work this morning to try and get somewhere with the growing pile of applications. Her head protested as she moved and she prayed that Slayer metabolism would kick in before she got to work. At least there was only one witness to just how very unmixy Buffy and alcohol were- and she groaned again as she remembered her encounter with the vampire the night before.
Sighing, she pulled on the first clothes she could find and dragged herself downstairs, wiping her sleepy eyes as she went into the kitchen. Her stomach protested at the smell of cooking food and she frowned as she stepped into the kitchen and spotted Spike at the oven, frying eggs as Dawn perched at the counter watching him. He turned as soon as she entered the room and she quickly avoided his gaze as she went to the fridge.
“You’re working this morning?” Dawn asked.
“Yeah. Volunteered to do some extra. I’ll be back just after lunch.”
She took a hesitant mouthful of orange juice and grimaced as her stomach protested weakly.
“Want some breakfast, love?”
She met Spike's gaze briefly and shook her head.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll see you later, Dawnie,” she called, leaving the house swiftly.
She wasn’t feeling much better by the time she got to work and she slid into her chair with a groan. Nina turned up a few minutes later and smiled as she sat in her own chair. Buffy remained silent- more out of embarrassment over her reaction to Nina and Spike talking- and kept her head down as she worked. Some time later, a cup of coffee appeared in front of her and she raised her head to meet Nina’s smile.
“Time for a break.”
Buffy nodded and took the cup gratefully, taking a sip of the warm liquid. There was silence in the room for a few moments before Nina spoke up.
“Last night was fun.”
“Yeah,” Buffy answered uncertainly.
She was silent for a long moment, sipping at her coffee as she was bombarded with images of the numerous stupid things she had done last night.
“I’m jealous,” Nina spoke up with a sigh.
Buffy’s head snapped up to look at the other girl and she frowned in confusion.
“Huh?”
Nina turned to her and smiled slightly.
“You’re so lucky you’ve got a guy like Spike.”
“What? There is no ‘gotting’, we’re not-“
“I know. But he’s so hung up on you. I wish I had that with someone.”
Buffy frowned, watching the other girl intently as she raised her gaze to Buffy’s with a sheepish smile.
“You know, I think I tried every trick in the flirting handbook…and all he could talk about was you.”
For a long moment, Buffy was silent and then she met Nina’s gaze again with a sigh.
“You have no idea how much harder you’ve just made things.”
“Huh?” Nina questioned.
“I’m going to have to apologise to him now for acting like a complete idiot,” Buffy sighed.
“I’m sure you didn’t-“
“Oh no, I really did,” Buffy interrupted with a laugh, “I was totally drunk and…and jealous.”
“Of me?” Nina asked.
Blushing, Buffy nodded and bit her lip.
“I accused him of flirting with you and got all worked up about it…err, then I just made a fool of myself. Remind me never to drink ever ever again.”
“The way Spike seems to feel about you, I really don’t think he’d think badly of you.”
“Sometimes I really wish he would,” Buffy admitted with a laugh, “It would be so much easier to stay mad at him!”
Nina laughed and Buffy sank back in her chair, taking another sip of her drink.
“You’ve still got feelings for him,” Nina spoke up after another silence and Buffy nodded reluctantly, meeting the girl’s understanding look.
“I just can’t stop them. He’s just…”
“Hot as hell?” Nina prompted with a laugh.
“Well that doesn’t exactly help,” Buffy admitted with a smile, “But it’s not just that…He gets me, you know?”
Nina sighed wistfully and nodded.
“So why don’t you make a move?”
“Already did that. Bad bad plan. Buffy and alcohol really don’t mix.”
“What happened?”
“Shot me down. Said he wanted me sober,” she explained, her chin resting on her hand dejectedly.
“Well this is good.”
“Maybe,” Buffy sighed, running a hand through her hair, “God, I really hope he’s not there when I get home.”
“You think he might be?”
“Well he was there this morning…making breakfast…and I totally blew him off.”
Nina laughed and Buffy raised her eyes to her in surprise.
“Sorry. It’s just…you two just seem to get everything backwards.”
“Tell me about it,” Buffy moaned, finally placing her cup down and turning back to her work.
Much to her relief, Spike was nowhere to be seen when she got home and she was able to delay her embarrassment for a few hours- at least until her nightly patrol. As she set out on her patrol, she decided it was probably best to get it over and done with and her feet led her unerringly to the vampire’s crypt. She knocked at the door timidly and pushed it open slowly, going in and stopping awkwardly by the door. The vampire looked up as she came in and his eyes widened in surprise.
“Hi,” she got out weakly.
“Buffy, what brings you round here?” he asked almost tiredly.
“I came to apologise.”
His gaze snapped back to hers, his eyes wide with surprise.
“I wanted to say sorry for the way I acted last night.”
“Yeah?” he asked, watching her intently now.
“Yeah. I…well, I was an idiot. I’d like to blame the alcohol but, well…I’m sure part of it was just me.”
He smiled softly and beckoned her closer, gesturing to the space beside him on the sofa. Something held her back though and she shook her head.
“I have to patrol.”
She saw his expression change instantly, even though he quickly covered it with an air of disinterestedness. She remembered then his words of last night: 'If that’s true, you’ll still want this tomorrow.'
Oh God, did he think her apology was her way of showing that? She simply had not thought beyond apologising for her ridiculous behaviour- certainly hadn’t thought of the consequences- and now she regretted that. She did have feelings for Spike, as she had admitted to Nina, but she was still hesitant- as she had told Dawn. She was still wary of ruining their tentative friendship and now she realised she might almost have brought that on with her thoughtlessness.
“Spike,” she spoke up, taking a step towards him.
He rose to his feet though, halting her.
“Let’s patrol.”
“Spike, I-“
“Leave it,” he got out, then his eyes met hers, softening, “Please.”
She could only nod, watching him mindlessly as he pulled on his duster roughly and made his way to the door, nodding for her to precede him.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She woke to the blare of her alarm clock and groaned as she remembered that she and Nina had volunteered to work this morning to try and get somewhere with the growing pile of applications. Her head protested as she moved and she prayed that Slayer metabolism would kick in before she got to work. At least there was only one witness to just how very unmixy Buffy and alcohol were- and she groaned again as she remembered her encounter with the vampire the night before.
Sighing, she pulled on the first clothes she could find and dragged herself downstairs, wiping her sleepy eyes as she went into the kitchen. Her stomach protested at the smell of cooking food and she frowned as she stepped into the kitchen and spotted Spike at the oven, frying eggs as Dawn perched at the counter watching him. He turned as soon as she entered the room and she quickly avoided his gaze as she went to the fridge.
“You’re working this morning?” Dawn asked.
“Yeah. Volunteered to do some extra. I’ll be back just after lunch.”
She took a hesitant mouthful of orange juice and grimaced as her stomach protested weakly.
“Want some breakfast, love?”
She met Spike's gaze briefly and shook her head.
“No, I’m fine. I’ll see you later, Dawnie,” she called, leaving the house swiftly.
She wasn’t feeling much better by the time she got to work and she slid into her chair with a groan. Nina turned up a few minutes later and smiled as she sat in her own chair. Buffy remained silent- more out of embarrassment over her reaction to Nina and Spike talking- and kept her head down as she worked. Some time later, a cup of coffee appeared in front of her and she raised her head to meet Nina’s smile.
“Time for a break.”
Buffy nodded and took the cup gratefully, taking a sip of the warm liquid. There was silence in the room for a few moments before Nina spoke up.
“Last night was fun.”
“Yeah,” Buffy answered uncertainly.
She was silent for a long moment, sipping at her coffee as she was bombarded with images of the numerous stupid things she had done last night.
“I’m jealous,” Nina spoke up with a sigh.
Buffy’s head snapped up to look at the other girl and she frowned in confusion.
“Huh?”
Nina turned to her and smiled slightly.
“You’re so lucky you’ve got a guy like Spike.”
“What? There is no ‘gotting’, we’re not-“
“I know. But he’s so hung up on you. I wish I had that with someone.”
Buffy frowned, watching the other girl intently as she raised her gaze to Buffy’s with a sheepish smile.
“You know, I think I tried every trick in the flirting handbook…and all he could talk about was you.”
For a long moment, Buffy was silent and then she met Nina’s gaze again with a sigh.
“You have no idea how much harder you’ve just made things.”
“Huh?” Nina questioned.
“I’m going to have to apologise to him now for acting like a complete idiot,” Buffy sighed.
“I’m sure you didn’t-“
“Oh no, I really did,” Buffy interrupted with a laugh, “I was totally drunk and…and jealous.”
“Of me?” Nina asked.
Blushing, Buffy nodded and bit her lip.
“I accused him of flirting with you and got all worked up about it…err, then I just made a fool of myself. Remind me never to drink ever ever again.”
“The way Spike seems to feel about you, I really don’t think he’d think badly of you.”
“Sometimes I really wish he would,” Buffy admitted with a laugh, “It would be so much easier to stay mad at him!”
Nina laughed and Buffy sank back in her chair, taking another sip of her drink.
“You’ve still got feelings for him,” Nina spoke up after another silence and Buffy nodded reluctantly, meeting the girl’s understanding look.
“I just can’t stop them. He’s just…”
“Hot as hell?” Nina prompted with a laugh.
“Well that doesn’t exactly help,” Buffy admitted with a smile, “But it’s not just that…He gets me, you know?”
Nina sighed wistfully and nodded.
“So why don’t you make a move?”
“Already did that. Bad bad plan. Buffy and alcohol really don’t mix.”
“What happened?”
“Shot me down. Said he wanted me sober,” she explained, her chin resting on her hand dejectedly.
“Well this is good.”
“Maybe,” Buffy sighed, running a hand through her hair, “God, I really hope he’s not there when I get home.”
“You think he might be?”
“Well he was there this morning…making breakfast…and I totally blew him off.”
Nina laughed and Buffy raised her eyes to her in surprise.
“Sorry. It’s just…you two just seem to get everything backwards.”
“Tell me about it,” Buffy moaned, finally placing her cup down and turning back to her work.
Much to her relief, Spike was nowhere to be seen when she got home and she was able to delay her embarrassment for a few hours- at least until her nightly patrol. As she set out on her patrol, she decided it was probably best to get it over and done with and her feet led her unerringly to the vampire’s crypt. She knocked at the door timidly and pushed it open slowly, going in and stopping awkwardly by the door. The vampire looked up as she came in and his eyes widened in surprise.
“Hi,” she got out weakly.
“Buffy, what brings you round here?” he asked almost tiredly.
“I came to apologise.”
His gaze snapped back to hers, his eyes wide with surprise.
“I wanted to say sorry for the way I acted last night.”
“Yeah?” he asked, watching her intently now.
“Yeah. I…well, I was an idiot. I’d like to blame the alcohol but, well…I’m sure part of it was just me.”
He smiled softly and beckoned her closer, gesturing to the space beside him on the sofa. Something held her back though and she shook her head.
“I have to patrol.”
She saw his expression change instantly, even though he quickly covered it with an air of disinterestedness. She remembered then his words of last night: 'If that’s true, you’ll still want this tomorrow.'
Oh God, did he think her apology was her way of showing that? She simply had not thought beyond apologising for her ridiculous behaviour- certainly hadn’t thought of the consequences- and now she regretted that. She did have feelings for Spike, as she had admitted to Nina, but she was still hesitant- as she had told Dawn. She was still wary of ruining their tentative friendship and now she realised she might almost have brought that on with her thoughtlessness.
“Spike,” she spoke up, taking a step towards him.
He rose to his feet though, halting her.
“Let’s patrol.”
“Spike, I-“
“Leave it,” he got out, then his eyes met hers, softening, “Please.”
She could only nod, watching him mindlessly as he pulled on his duster roughly and made his way to the door, nodding for her to precede him.
Action
Action
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next night she was patrolling alone- mainly to avoid the awkwardness that had characterised last night’s patrol with Spike- and continually cursing herself for being a complete idiot. Spike had hardly said anything to her all through their two-hour patrol and it had hurt more than she could describe. But maybe she deserved it for foolishly leading him along- which was what she had been doing for weeks now, she realised. But God, a part of her did want him, wanted him so much. There seemed no way to reconcile these two sides of herself though.
Sighing, she moved on through the graveyard, spinning her stake in her hand. Suddenly, she sped up as she heard sounds of a fight up ahead- and rushed over when she saw Riley clumsily trying to fight off a large demon. The demon backhanded him and sent him flying to the floor just as Buffy launched herself at it, lashing out with a high kick that sent the demon backwards. Glancing at Riley as he struggled to push himself to his knees, she moved forward and attacked the demon again, letting out all of her pent-up frustration on the demon. Finally, she broke its neck and it dropped to the floor, dead.
She turned to Riley then and frowned as he staggered as he finally got to his feet.
“I was doing fine by myshelf.”
She frowned again when she stepped closer and smelt a distinct waft of alcohol coming from the soldier.
“Sure you were. Are you drunk?”
“No, of courshe not. Just came out for a bit of fun.”
“Not sure your wife’s going to be happy about you almost getting yourself killed.”
“I’m shure she won’t care,” he slurred, bending to pick his gun and almost falling.
She was at his side in an instant, steadying him.
“Maybe you should get home.”
“What’s the point? Not like she wants me there.”
She sighed, not sure how to deal with the Finns’ marital problems.
“Yeah, well, maybe when you’ve both had some sleep, you’ll sort things out. Come on.”
Wrapping an arm around his waist, she ended up practically dragging Riley back to his house.
“Have you got a key?” she asked him as they reached the front porch, “I’m sure Sam doesn’t want to get woken up.”
“You know, she’s nothing like you,” Riley slurred and she rolled her eyes as she tried to steady him on his feet.
“Key, Riley?”
“I was still in love with you for a really long time.”
“That’s, err, nice. You should get inside,” she got out, trying the door in hopes that it was open.
“I think I still am, a little bit,” he murmured and she turned to him in shock.
Before she could say anything though, he grabbed her and placed a sloppy kiss on her lips.
“Riley!” she bit out, heaving him away as she wiped at her mouth, “I think you need to go to bed and sleep it off, don’t you?”
She was trying her best to stay calm but her patience was quickly waning.
“Why don’t I come to your bed?”
He moved towards her again, reaching for her clumsily, but she caught his arm, twisting it slightly until he stopped with a cry of pain. He pulled his hand away abruptly and she loosened her grip, her expression steady as she met his narrowed eyes.
“It’s always been him, hasn’t it?” he bit out.
“What are you going on about, Riley?” she asked wearily.
He moved faster than she would have expected, grabbing both of her arms, his face up close to hers.
“Were you sleeping with him when I was still here?” he shouted.
Forcing herself to stay calm and not lash out at him, she met his gaze squarely.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now let go of me.”
“You’ve always wanted him. Even though he’s a monster. I’ve seen the way you look at him now. It makes me sick.”
“Right now, you’re making me sick,” she bit out, moving out of his grasp.
“Is that what does it for you, Buffy? Dead men?”
“Better than anything I ever had with you, Riley,” she bit out, sugary-sweet.
“You whore!” he spat out, reaching for her again, “You little vampire whore!”
Finally, her patience came to an abrupt end and she punched Riley in the nose, sending him flying back into the door. He hit the door and crumpled to the floor, unconscious. With a sneer at the unconscious man, she flexed her hand and turned away, making her way down the path without looking back.
She had only reached the end of the path when she stopped, sensing an all-too-familiar presence. She waited just a few seconds for him to show himself and, sure enough, a moment later, Spike appeared from out of the shadows. His eyes met hers and she saw immediately that he had witnessed the little scene between her and Riley.
“Walk me home?” she asked softly, meeting his bright gaze.
He nodded and fell into step beside her, a not-quite-comfortable silence descending over them.
“He didn’t hurt you?” Spike asked after a few moments of silence.
“Not even my feelings,” she answered with a slight smile and a shake of her head- even though her encounter with Riley had left her more shaken-up than she dared to admit. Not because he had scared her, but because she thought he might have been closer to the truth than she was comfortable with.
She kept sneaking glances at Spike out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction- but he kept his eyes forward, his face an expressionless mask. She sighed and turned back to her own inner turmoil, taking little comfort in the vampire’s presence beside her. They reached her house and he hesitated on the porch as she opened the door, but she turned to him and he tilted his head slightly, watching her.
“Come in?”
He studied her for a long moment, his eyes boring into her, and finally nodded, following her into the house and through to the kitchen.
Now they were alone in her house- except for a sleeping Dawn- she was suddenly hit by a wave of nerves and she fiddled with the washing-up, deciding against putting the dishes away. Spike stood just behind her but she could sense his every little movement and for some reason it was making her even more nervous. Riley’s words were racing round her head and she leant against the side, her hands braced on the worktop.
“Buffy, love?” Spike called, a cool hand coming to rest on her shoulder.
She let herself enjoy his cool touch for a second, before she turned to him with a tortured expression.
“I think he was right, you know,” she whispered, her hand- shaking slightly- raising to graze his cheek, “And it scares the hell out of me.”
“Buffy?” he asked, his voice low, rough, as he raised a hesitant hand to her arm, his fingers skimming over her bare skin.
“It’s always been you,” she whispered achingly softly, leaning into him as he gripped her a tiny bit harder. She flicked her eyes to his heavy-lidded gaze, her fingers stroking over his cheek and coming to rest against his neck.
“Always,” she repeated, and then their lips met in a tender kiss, his other arm winding round her gently. Her free arm twined around his neck and she pressed herself closer to him, wondering how she could have gone so long without his kiss.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
The next night she was patrolling alone- mainly to avoid the awkwardness that had characterised last night’s patrol with Spike- and continually cursing herself for being a complete idiot. Spike had hardly said anything to her all through their two-hour patrol and it had hurt more than she could describe. But maybe she deserved it for foolishly leading him along- which was what she had been doing for weeks now, she realised. But God, a part of her did want him, wanted him so much. There seemed no way to reconcile these two sides of herself though.
Sighing, she moved on through the graveyard, spinning her stake in her hand. Suddenly, she sped up as she heard sounds of a fight up ahead- and rushed over when she saw Riley clumsily trying to fight off a large demon. The demon backhanded him and sent him flying to the floor just as Buffy launched herself at it, lashing out with a high kick that sent the demon backwards. Glancing at Riley as he struggled to push himself to his knees, she moved forward and attacked the demon again, letting out all of her pent-up frustration on the demon. Finally, she broke its neck and it dropped to the floor, dead.
She turned to Riley then and frowned as he staggered as he finally got to his feet.
“I was doing fine by myshelf.”
She frowned again when she stepped closer and smelt a distinct waft of alcohol coming from the soldier.
“Sure you were. Are you drunk?”
“No, of courshe not. Just came out for a bit of fun.”
“Not sure your wife’s going to be happy about you almost getting yourself killed.”
“I’m shure she won’t care,” he slurred, bending to pick his gun and almost falling.
She was at his side in an instant, steadying him.
“Maybe you should get home.”
“What’s the point? Not like she wants me there.”
She sighed, not sure how to deal with the Finns’ marital problems.
“Yeah, well, maybe when you’ve both had some sleep, you’ll sort things out. Come on.”
Wrapping an arm around his waist, she ended up practically dragging Riley back to his house.
“Have you got a key?” she asked him as they reached the front porch, “I’m sure Sam doesn’t want to get woken up.”
“You know, she’s nothing like you,” Riley slurred and she rolled her eyes as she tried to steady him on his feet.
“Key, Riley?”
“I was still in love with you for a really long time.”
“That’s, err, nice. You should get inside,” she got out, trying the door in hopes that it was open.
“I think I still am, a little bit,” he murmured and she turned to him in shock.
Before she could say anything though, he grabbed her and placed a sloppy kiss on her lips.
“Riley!” she bit out, heaving him away as she wiped at her mouth, “I think you need to go to bed and sleep it off, don’t you?”
She was trying her best to stay calm but her patience was quickly waning.
“Why don’t I come to your bed?”
He moved towards her again, reaching for her clumsily, but she caught his arm, twisting it slightly until he stopped with a cry of pain. He pulled his hand away abruptly and she loosened her grip, her expression steady as she met his narrowed eyes.
“It’s always been him, hasn’t it?” he bit out.
“What are you going on about, Riley?” she asked wearily.
He moved faster than she would have expected, grabbing both of her arms, his face up close to hers.
“Were you sleeping with him when I was still here?” he shouted.
Forcing herself to stay calm and not lash out at him, she met his gaze squarely.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. Now let go of me.”
“You’ve always wanted him. Even though he’s a monster. I’ve seen the way you look at him now. It makes me sick.”
“Right now, you’re making me sick,” she bit out, moving out of his grasp.
“Is that what does it for you, Buffy? Dead men?”
“Better than anything I ever had with you, Riley,” she bit out, sugary-sweet.
“You whore!” he spat out, reaching for her again, “You little vampire whore!”
Finally, her patience came to an abrupt end and she punched Riley in the nose, sending him flying back into the door. He hit the door and crumpled to the floor, unconscious. With a sneer at the unconscious man, she flexed her hand and turned away, making her way down the path without looking back.
She had only reached the end of the path when she stopped, sensing an all-too-familiar presence. She waited just a few seconds for him to show himself and, sure enough, a moment later, Spike appeared from out of the shadows. His eyes met hers and she saw immediately that he had witnessed the little scene between her and Riley.
“Walk me home?” she asked softly, meeting his bright gaze.
He nodded and fell into step beside her, a not-quite-comfortable silence descending over them.
“He didn’t hurt you?” Spike asked after a few moments of silence.
“Not even my feelings,” she answered with a slight smile and a shake of her head- even though her encounter with Riley had left her more shaken-up than she dared to admit. Not because he had scared her, but because she thought he might have been closer to the truth than she was comfortable with.
She kept sneaking glances at Spike out of the corner of her eye, trying to gauge his reaction- but he kept his eyes forward, his face an expressionless mask. She sighed and turned back to her own inner turmoil, taking little comfort in the vampire’s presence beside her. They reached her house and he hesitated on the porch as she opened the door, but she turned to him and he tilted his head slightly, watching her.
“Come in?”
He studied her for a long moment, his eyes boring into her, and finally nodded, following her into the house and through to the kitchen.
Now they were alone in her house- except for a sleeping Dawn- she was suddenly hit by a wave of nerves and she fiddled with the washing-up, deciding against putting the dishes away. Spike stood just behind her but she could sense his every little movement and for some reason it was making her even more nervous. Riley’s words were racing round her head and she leant against the side, her hands braced on the worktop.
“Buffy, love?” Spike called, a cool hand coming to rest on her shoulder.
She let herself enjoy his cool touch for a second, before she turned to him with a tortured expression.
“I think he was right, you know,” she whispered, her hand- shaking slightly- raising to graze his cheek, “And it scares the hell out of me.”
“Buffy?” he asked, his voice low, rough, as he raised a hesitant hand to her arm, his fingers skimming over her bare skin.
“It’s always been you,” she whispered achingly softly, leaning into him as he gripped her a tiny bit harder. She flicked her eyes to his heavy-lidded gaze, her fingers stroking over his cheek and coming to rest against his neck.
“Always,” she repeated, and then their lips met in a tender kiss, his other arm winding round her gently. Her free arm twined around his neck and she pressed herself closer to him, wondering how she could have gone so long without his kiss.
Intimacy
Intimacy
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She didn’t know how long they had been wrapped up in each other’s embrace, sharing soft kisses, when he finally pulled away, his eyes wide when they met hers.
“But yesterday-“
“Yesterday I was stupid. And I thought…I don’t even know what I was thinking.”
She leant into him again, needing to taste him again. He pushed her away gently though after only a few short moments, his eyes soft as he looked down at her in wonder.
“I can’t let you do this to me again, love. It’ll kill me.”
“It won’t be like last time,” she whispered, her finger tracing his jaw.
“God, Buffy,” he groaned, pulling her flush against him and kissing her hungrily, his mouth moving expertly against hers. Her fingers twined in his hair as his mouth dropped to her neck, setting her skin alight with soft kisses.
“Stay with me.”
“Always,” he murmured, his mouth finding hers again in another tender kiss.
She parted from him, gasping for breath as hazel eyes met blue.
“Stay with me tonight,” she breathed.
“Buffy,” he got out hesitantly.
“We don’t have to…Just stay with me.”
His eyes were burning into her, seeing right into her and she wanted to close her eyes against the invasion- but instead she kept them open, her eyes pleading his. Finally, after an achingly long pause, he bent his head and kissed her again, his arms winding round her and holding her tight against him.
“Why did it take us so long to do this?” she murmured, her head buried against his chest as they lay curled up together on her bed. He said nothing but held her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he brushed his hand over her hair.
“Change that,” she said, pulling back to meet his gaze, “Why did it take me so long to figure this out?”
“You tell me,” he answered with a soft smile, running his fingers down over her arm and linking them with hers.
“Because I’m stupid stupid Buffy?”
He smiled again and pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Not stupid at all,” he whispered, pressing a kiss next to her cheek.
“You’re just saying that,” she murmured just as his lips found hers again.
His fingers threaded through her hair, holding her mouth close as he teased her with barely-there kisses. She let out a little sigh and sank against him, finally letting herself enjoy his tenderness, his softness. She stretched out a little, brushing her bare feet against his- and pulling back with a laugh.
“What?”
“Your feet are cold!” she giggled.
He laughed and hugged her against him.
“Love, most of me is cold.”
“We better warm you up then,” she commented with a laugh, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly.
“My favourite kind of heating. Buffy heating.”
Some hours later they still hadn’t moved- they were still fully dressed, curled up on her bed. She sighed and rested her head under his chin, her fingers tracing over him. How could she have been so blind for so long? Now she was going to make up for it all though.
“Tell me about William.”
He groaned and she laughed, her cheek resting over his unbeating heart.
“Not much to tell.”
“That means there’s juicy gossip that you don’t want to share.”
He laughed and trailed his fingers across her back, sending a shiver down her spine.
“Sure I can’t distract you from that subject?”
“Oh I’m sure you could,” she murmured, laughing as she turned her head to look at him, “But I don’t want you to.”
She gave him her widest smile and he sighed, closing his eyes as he leant back against her pillows.
“He was a poet,” he mumbled.
“A poet?! You wrote poetry?!” she exclaimed in surprise.
“No," he answered quickly, eyes opening to fix on hers, "He wrote poetry.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes soft.
“And you’re nothing like him, I’m sure.”
He narrowed his eyes but pulled her to him, catching her lips in a hungry kiss.
“We’re going to do it right this time,” she whispered, not for the first time that evening, “I’m not going to hide from this. From you. I promise.”
“I believe you, love,” he murmured, his mouth buried against her hair as he held her tight.
“I don’t know why. I don’t know why you even like me.”
“None of that,” he warned, pulling back to look at her, his fingers brushing through her hair, “You’re perfect.”
She frowned at him, shaking her head a little to disagree.
“M’not.”
“All I could ever want,” he murmured, seemingly ignoring her words as his fingers coasted over her cheek. She closed her eyes, enjoying the whisper-like touches he was bestowing upon her and letting out a little sigh of contentment.
“You won’t change your mind tomorrow?” he asked lowly, and her eyes flew open to meet a gaze full of vulnerability.
“No,” she answered firmly, “I should have done this weeks ago.”
“You’re sure this is what you want?” he questioned, still unsure.
“Yes,” she answered with a soft smile, trailing her fingers over his neck and leaning up to brush her lips over his, “God, yes.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
She didn’t know how long they had been wrapped up in each other’s embrace, sharing soft kisses, when he finally pulled away, his eyes wide when they met hers.
“But yesterday-“
“Yesterday I was stupid. And I thought…I don’t even know what I was thinking.”
She leant into him again, needing to taste him again. He pushed her away gently though after only a few short moments, his eyes soft as he looked down at her in wonder.
“I can’t let you do this to me again, love. It’ll kill me.”
“It won’t be like last time,” she whispered, her finger tracing his jaw.
“God, Buffy,” he groaned, pulling her flush against him and kissing her hungrily, his mouth moving expertly against hers. Her fingers twined in his hair as his mouth dropped to her neck, setting her skin alight with soft kisses.
“Stay with me.”
“Always,” he murmured, his mouth finding hers again in another tender kiss.
She parted from him, gasping for breath as hazel eyes met blue.
“Stay with me tonight,” she breathed.
“Buffy,” he got out hesitantly.
“We don’t have to…Just stay with me.”
His eyes were burning into her, seeing right into her and she wanted to close her eyes against the invasion- but instead she kept them open, her eyes pleading his. Finally, after an achingly long pause, he bent his head and kissed her again, his arms winding round her and holding her tight against him.
“Why did it take us so long to do this?” she murmured, her head buried against his chest as they lay curled up together on her bed. He said nothing but held her closer, pressing a kiss to her forehead as he brushed his hand over her hair.
“Change that,” she said, pulling back to meet his gaze, “Why did it take me so long to figure this out?”
“You tell me,” he answered with a soft smile, running his fingers down over her arm and linking them with hers.
“Because I’m stupid stupid Buffy?”
He smiled again and pressed a kiss to her temple.
“Not stupid at all,” he whispered, pressing a kiss next to her cheek.
“You’re just saying that,” she murmured just as his lips found hers again.
His fingers threaded through her hair, holding her mouth close as he teased her with barely-there kisses. She let out a little sigh and sank against him, finally letting herself enjoy his tenderness, his softness. She stretched out a little, brushing her bare feet against his- and pulling back with a laugh.
“What?”
“Your feet are cold!” she giggled.
He laughed and hugged her against him.
“Love, most of me is cold.”
“We better warm you up then,” she commented with a laugh, wrapping her arms around him and hugging him tightly.
“My favourite kind of heating. Buffy heating.”
Some hours later they still hadn’t moved- they were still fully dressed, curled up on her bed. She sighed and rested her head under his chin, her fingers tracing over him. How could she have been so blind for so long? Now she was going to make up for it all though.
“Tell me about William.”
He groaned and she laughed, her cheek resting over his unbeating heart.
“Not much to tell.”
“That means there’s juicy gossip that you don’t want to share.”
He laughed and trailed his fingers across her back, sending a shiver down her spine.
“Sure I can’t distract you from that subject?”
“Oh I’m sure you could,” she murmured, laughing as she turned her head to look at him, “But I don’t want you to.”
She gave him her widest smile and he sighed, closing his eyes as he leant back against her pillows.
“He was a poet,” he mumbled.
“A poet?! You wrote poetry?!” she exclaimed in surprise.
“No," he answered quickly, eyes opening to fix on hers, "He wrote poetry.”
She smiled up at him, her eyes soft.
“And you’re nothing like him, I’m sure.”
He narrowed his eyes but pulled her to him, catching her lips in a hungry kiss.
“We’re going to do it right this time,” she whispered, not for the first time that evening, “I’m not going to hide from this. From you. I promise.”
“I believe you, love,” he murmured, his mouth buried against her hair as he held her tight.
“I don’t know why. I don’t know why you even like me.”
“None of that,” he warned, pulling back to look at her, his fingers brushing through her hair, “You’re perfect.”
She frowned at him, shaking her head a little to disagree.
“M’not.”
“All I could ever want,” he murmured, seemingly ignoring her words as his fingers coasted over her cheek. She closed her eyes, enjoying the whisper-like touches he was bestowing upon her and letting out a little sigh of contentment.
“You won’t change your mind tomorrow?” he asked lowly, and her eyes flew open to meet a gaze full of vulnerability.
“No,” she answered firmly, “I should have done this weeks ago.”
“You’re sure this is what you want?” he questioned, still unsure.
“Yes,” she answered with a soft smile, trailing her fingers over his neck and leaning up to brush her lips over his, “God, yes.”
The Morning After
The Morning After
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was so breathtakingly beautiful. She had woken long before her alarm would go off and had found herself watching the vampire sleep. He looked so content and more relaxed than she had seen him in many months. He was on his side, head resting on his arm while the other was still draped over her waist where she had been curled up to him earlier. She drank in the sharp lines of his cheekbones, her eyes sliding down to those deceptively soft lips and then back up to his closed eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Those eyes that could tell her so much- and see right through her. He stirred and she smiled as he stretched lazily and opened his eyes, soft blue eyes falling on her and widening ever so slightly.
“Am I dreamin’?” he asked, his voice husky with sleep.
“I don’t think so,” she whispered, leaning close until their noses brushed, “I hope not.”
His arm tightened around her waist as if afraid she might bolt any minute and she smiled, trailing her fingers up his arm.
“What would happen if you were dreaming right now?” she whispered playfully, meeting his gaze from under her eyelashes.
“Well, I think I’d definitely be kissing you,” he whispered, his breath brushing over her lips.
“Mmm,” she murmured, closing her eyes, “Sounds good.”
His lips brushed against hers almost tentatively but then, upon ascertaining her realness, he kissed her harder, his arm pulling her flush against him.
She sank against him, head lolling back as he dragged his lips down her neck, finding her pulse point and sending her blood racing as he sucked on it lightly. She moaned lowly and twisted her fingers in his hair, holding him close as he continued his caresses.
Suddenly, though, the silence was pierced by the sharp beeping of her alarm clock and she groaned, rolling over and slamming her hand down on the alarm clock to silence it. As she hit it though, it flew to the floor with a crash and she leant over, frowning at its spilled contents.
“Damn, think I broke it.”
“That means it won’t interrupt again,” Spike growled, his arm wrapping around her and tugging her back against him, his mouth finding her neck again. She moaned again at the feel of his mouth against her neck but arched away.
“I’ve got work.”
“Call in sick,” he murmured against her neck, his arm tightening around her.
“Need the money,” she mumbled, leaning into his touch.
“I’ll pay you to stay here.”
She laughed and wiggled out of his embrace, moving to sit. She glanced back at him and smiled as she noticed his hungry gaze.
“We’ve got all the time in the world,” she said softly and he rolled his eyes, flopping back on the bed.
She showered quickly and then dressed herself under Spike’s constant gaze- trying hard not to blush as she felt his eyes on her.
“Let me make you breakfast,” he got out, pushing himself to sit.
“Oh no, really. You can stay in bed.”
“You expect me to be able to sleep in your bed without you?” he asked with raised eyebrow and she smiled, moving to him and leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. He caught her neck though, holding her in place as he kissed her sensuously. She pulled away reluctantly and gave him a warm smile.
“If you stay, we can have all evening together,” she whispered, seeing how his eyes lit up.
“Sounds like a deal,” he agreed, getting to his feet and catching her around the waist to press an almost chaste kiss to her lips, “Come on then, let’s get you to work.”
He ushered her out of the room and followed her down the stairs into the kitchen. As she stepped into the kitchen though, she spotted her sister and she came to a halt, causing Spike to collide with her.
“Buffy?”
Dawn looked up at the vampire’s voice and her eyes flew to Buffy, and then to the vampire as he emerged at her side. Her eyes widened just the tiniest bit and then she smiled knowingly and nodded her greeting.
“Morning.”
Blushing, Buffy laced her fingers with Spike’s and moved into the kitchen to slide onto a stool beside him. Dawn’s eyes dropped to their joined hands and then moved to Buffy.
“’Bout time.”
Buffy just nodded and with a glance at Spike, she released his hand and moved to the counter to prepare breakfast.
“Thought I was making you breakfast?” he spoke up.
“Maybe tomorrow,” she said with a tiny smile, blushing as she turned back to the counter, “I don’t want to be late.”
“Are you hanging out here today, Spike?” Dawn asked, obviously happy with the idea.
“Yeah. How ‘bout me and you watch some films?”
“Nothing NC-17,” Buffy warned, turning to the two as Dawn rolled her eyes.
“Yes, Mom,” Dawn chimed with a smile.
“You trying to say you think I might try to corrupt your li’l sister?” Spike drawled and she turned to him with a flirtatious smile.
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
He pretended to look shocked and she laughed.
“Just, nothing too bad, okay?”
All too soon it was time for her to go to work and Spike followed her out onto the shady porch, catching her hand and pulling her towards him.
“Spike, Dawn can see.”
“You saying you don’t want her to know?” he asked lowly, his head bent close to hers.
“No,” she said, shaking her head, “I just-“
Before she could finish her sentence, he was kissing her, his arms winding round her as he drew her to him. Giving in with the soft caress of his lips, she sank against him, her arms sliding up and winding round his neck. When she got short of breath, he pulled back, his eyes shining as he looked down at her.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I know,” she answered shakily- her throat closing up with the emotion pouring out of his beautiful eyes.
“And I’m gonna be right here waiting when you get home. You can’t get out of this.”
“Don’t want to,” she whispered, meeting his bright gaze, “It’s already been too long.”
He smiled and dipped his head to kiss her again but she pulled away after a few moments.
“I have to go,” she sighed.
He held her tight for a moment longer and pressed a kiss to her forehead before releasing her.
She stepped down from the porch onto the path and turned back to him as he called her name.
“Buffy…If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll give you a call,” he said with a smile.
She laughed lightly and rolled her eyes.
“I have important work to do.”
“Sure you do, love. Gotta go over it all with Nina, right? Tell her I’m afraid I might be taken now,” he teased with a smirk.
“Pushing it, mister,” she warned, but was unable to suppress her smile.
They were silent for a moment, drinking each other in, and then she turned back to the path.
“Buffy?” he called again and she turned back with a smile, “Sure?”
She paused for a second, taking in the fear he tried to hide and then she smiled.
“Sure.”
“Good,” he breathed, his whole posture relaxing as he leant against the door.
“See you later.”
“Later, Slayer.”
With a smile, she turned back and had got a few steps down the path before she heard Spike’s voice.
“Buffy!” Spike called, his voice urgent and she was about to turn back to him when another voice spoke up in front of her.
“Slayer!”
She turned slightly and froze, her eyes fixed on the gun pointed at her.
“Are you faster than a bullet, Slayer?” Warren asked and before she could react, he had pulled the trigger and a pain ripped through her left side. Her vision blurred as she clutched a hand to her side, the image of Warren’s shocked face moving in and out of focus. She dropped to her knees with a moan and just discerned a cry from somewhere behind her. She sank to the floor and her world went black.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
He was so breathtakingly beautiful. She had woken long before her alarm would go off and had found herself watching the vampire sleep. He looked so content and more relaxed than she had seen him in many months. He was on his side, head resting on his arm while the other was still draped over her waist where she had been curled up to him earlier. She drank in the sharp lines of his cheekbones, her eyes sliding down to those deceptively soft lips and then back up to his closed eyes, framed by long eyelashes. Those eyes that could tell her so much- and see right through her. He stirred and she smiled as he stretched lazily and opened his eyes, soft blue eyes falling on her and widening ever so slightly.
“Am I dreamin’?” he asked, his voice husky with sleep.
“I don’t think so,” she whispered, leaning close until their noses brushed, “I hope not.”
His arm tightened around her waist as if afraid she might bolt any minute and she smiled, trailing her fingers up his arm.
“What would happen if you were dreaming right now?” she whispered playfully, meeting his gaze from under her eyelashes.
“Well, I think I’d definitely be kissing you,” he whispered, his breath brushing over her lips.
“Mmm,” she murmured, closing her eyes, “Sounds good.”
His lips brushed against hers almost tentatively but then, upon ascertaining her realness, he kissed her harder, his arm pulling her flush against him.
She sank against him, head lolling back as he dragged his lips down her neck, finding her pulse point and sending her blood racing as he sucked on it lightly. She moaned lowly and twisted her fingers in his hair, holding him close as he continued his caresses.
Suddenly, though, the silence was pierced by the sharp beeping of her alarm clock and she groaned, rolling over and slamming her hand down on the alarm clock to silence it. As she hit it though, it flew to the floor with a crash and she leant over, frowning at its spilled contents.
“Damn, think I broke it.”
“That means it won’t interrupt again,” Spike growled, his arm wrapping around her and tugging her back against him, his mouth finding her neck again. She moaned again at the feel of his mouth against her neck but arched away.
“I’ve got work.”
“Call in sick,” he murmured against her neck, his arm tightening around her.
“Need the money,” she mumbled, leaning into his touch.
“I’ll pay you to stay here.”
She laughed and wiggled out of his embrace, moving to sit. She glanced back at him and smiled as she noticed his hungry gaze.
“We’ve got all the time in the world,” she said softly and he rolled his eyes, flopping back on the bed.
She showered quickly and then dressed herself under Spike’s constant gaze- trying hard not to blush as she felt his eyes on her.
“Let me make you breakfast,” he got out, pushing himself to sit.
“Oh no, really. You can stay in bed.”
“You expect me to be able to sleep in your bed without you?” he asked with raised eyebrow and she smiled, moving to him and leaning over to press a kiss to his lips. He caught her neck though, holding her in place as he kissed her sensuously. She pulled away reluctantly and gave him a warm smile.
“If you stay, we can have all evening together,” she whispered, seeing how his eyes lit up.
“Sounds like a deal,” he agreed, getting to his feet and catching her around the waist to press an almost chaste kiss to her lips, “Come on then, let’s get you to work.”
He ushered her out of the room and followed her down the stairs into the kitchen. As she stepped into the kitchen though, she spotted her sister and she came to a halt, causing Spike to collide with her.
“Buffy?”
Dawn looked up at the vampire’s voice and her eyes flew to Buffy, and then to the vampire as he emerged at her side. Her eyes widened just the tiniest bit and then she smiled knowingly and nodded her greeting.
“Morning.”
Blushing, Buffy laced her fingers with Spike’s and moved into the kitchen to slide onto a stool beside him. Dawn’s eyes dropped to their joined hands and then moved to Buffy.
“’Bout time.”
Buffy just nodded and with a glance at Spike, she released his hand and moved to the counter to prepare breakfast.
“Thought I was making you breakfast?” he spoke up.
“Maybe tomorrow,” she said with a tiny smile, blushing as she turned back to the counter, “I don’t want to be late.”
“Are you hanging out here today, Spike?” Dawn asked, obviously happy with the idea.
“Yeah. How ‘bout me and you watch some films?”
“Nothing NC-17,” Buffy warned, turning to the two as Dawn rolled her eyes.
“Yes, Mom,” Dawn chimed with a smile.
“You trying to say you think I might try to corrupt your li’l sister?” Spike drawled and she turned to him with a flirtatious smile.
“I wouldn’t be surprised.”
He pretended to look shocked and she laughed.
“Just, nothing too bad, okay?”
All too soon it was time for her to go to work and Spike followed her out onto the shady porch, catching her hand and pulling her towards him.
“Spike, Dawn can see.”
“You saying you don’t want her to know?” he asked lowly, his head bent close to hers.
“No,” she said, shaking her head, “I just-“
Before she could finish her sentence, he was kissing her, his arms winding round her as he drew her to him. Giving in with the soft caress of his lips, she sank against him, her arms sliding up and winding round his neck. When she got short of breath, he pulled back, his eyes shining as he looked down at her.
“I love you,” he whispered.
“I know,” she answered shakily- her throat closing up with the emotion pouring out of his beautiful eyes.
“And I’m gonna be right here waiting when you get home. You can’t get out of this.”
“Don’t want to,” she whispered, meeting his bright gaze, “It’s already been too long.”
He smiled and dipped his head to kiss her again but she pulled away after a few moments.
“I have to go,” she sighed.
He held her tight for a moment longer and pressed a kiss to her forehead before releasing her.
She stepped down from the porch onto the path and turned back to him as he called her name.
“Buffy…If you’re lucky, maybe I’ll give you a call,” he said with a smile.
She laughed lightly and rolled her eyes.
“I have important work to do.”
“Sure you do, love. Gotta go over it all with Nina, right? Tell her I’m afraid I might be taken now,” he teased with a smirk.
“Pushing it, mister,” she warned, but was unable to suppress her smile.
They were silent for a moment, drinking each other in, and then she turned back to the path.
“Buffy?” he called again and she turned back with a smile, “Sure?”
She paused for a second, taking in the fear he tried to hide and then she smiled.
“Sure.”
“Good,” he breathed, his whole posture relaxing as he leant against the door.
“See you later.”
“Later, Slayer.”
With a smile, she turned back and had got a few steps down the path before she heard Spike’s voice.
“Buffy!” Spike called, his voice urgent and she was about to turn back to him when another voice spoke up in front of her.
“Slayer!”
She turned slightly and froze, her eyes fixed on the gun pointed at her.
“Are you faster than a bullet, Slayer?” Warren asked and before she could react, he had pulled the trigger and a pain ripped through her left side. Her vision blurred as she clutched a hand to her side, the image of Warren’s shocked face moving in and out of focus. She dropped to her knees with a moan and just discerned a cry from somewhere behind her. She sank to the floor and her world went black.
Alive
Alive
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her whole body was eerily pain-free as she slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the bright light.
“Buffy, love?”
She focused her gaze on the blue eyes hovering above her and smiled a tiny smile.
“Am I in heaven?” she whispered.
“Now, I wouldn’t be here if you were, would I?” Spike murmured, his cool touch brushing across her forehead.
“Buffy!” another voice called out and she turned her head slowly to meet her sister’s worried gaze.
“Dawnie,” she answered with a smile, “You’re here too. I’m glad.”
She saw Dawn throw a confused look at the vampire and he smiled slightly.
“It’s the drugs. Making her a bit woozy.”
“Woozy is good,” she murmured, her eyes suddenly heavy again.
She felt that cool touch on her forehead again, brushing over her hair.
“You rest some more, love,” Spike murmured and she nodded lazily, her eyes already fluttering closed as she sank into the pillow.
Her eyes fluttered open again and she took in the hospital room, the machines that were monitoring her.
“Buffy?”
Her sister appeared next to the bed, her warm hand resting over Buffy’s.
“Hey, Dawnie.”
“How are you feeling?”
She paused for a moment, feeling the slight niggling pain in her stomach.
“I think I’ll live.”
“You almost didn’t,” Dawn choked, her fingers tightening around Buffy’s, “If Spike hadn’t-“
“Where is he?” Buffy asked, noticing the others in the room for the first time- with the noticeable exception of Spike.
“He, err, he kinda stayed outside,” Dawn answered hesitantly, glancing at the group huddled by the door.
“Go and get him back, Dawnie,” she ordered softly.
She followed her sister to the door with her eyes and smiled weakly when the girl looked back at her hesitantly. She then glanced at her friends and gave them a sleepy smile, closing her eyes for a moment’s rest.
She opened her eyes again when she heard the door open and she smiled slightly as the vampire entered, his eyes fixed on her. Dawn practically dragged him to the bedside and Buffy smiled again, meeting his blue eyes.
“Hear I’ve got you to thank,” she whispered.
“Did what I could,” he murmured, his hand resting on the rail at the bed’s side. She reached out and let her fingers brush against his.
“Thanks.”
“You should have seen, Buffy!” Dawn spoke up, “He almost got burnt up helping you!”
“Silly vampire,” Buffy teased weakly, her fingers winding round his- and she noticed then the healing burns on his hands. He gave a little shrug and she smiled softly, brushing her finger over his. At that moment, the door opened once more and a nurse appeared, frowning at the number of people in the room.
“Family only, I’m afraid. Anyone not family will have to leave. Miss Summers needs to rest,” the nurse ordered and the Scoobies stood awkwardly, glancing over at Buffy before leaving the room. Spike pulled his hand away but she caught him and the nurse looked to them with a questioning look.
“He stays,” Buffy spoke up.
The nurse narrowed her eyes for a moment but then shrugged and left the room again, leaving the two sisters and Spike alone.
“Can I please be present when you make the big announcement?” Dawn spoke up.
“Huh?” Buffy asked, dragging her eyes from the vampire to turn to her sister.
“The big ‘we’re together’ speech.”
“We, err-“ Buffy started hesitantly, blushing.
“Don’t even try to tell me you’re not. I’m not that stupid, you know!”
Buffy smiled softly and shook her head, twisting her fingers around Spike’s again as she glanced at him again.
“No hiding anymore.”
“You just worry about getting better right now, love,” he murmured, brushing his thumb over her hand.
“I’m all good. I’m alive…and, you know what, for the first time in ages I feel it. I think I’ve got you to thank for that too.”
“Didn’t do anything, love. You did it yourself.”
“Nah-uh,” she protested, “You helped.”
“Can you just agree that you both did it?”
Dawn spoke up with a laugh and Buffy smiled softly.
“Thank you anyway. You too, Dawnie.”
“What did I do? I think you’re still woozy from the drugs,” the teenager commented with a grin.
“No. You kept me going, both of you. Being there for me…loving me even when I was a…a mean bitch.”
“Definitely the drugs,” Spike teased, sharing a smile with Dawn.
“I’m being serious,” she spoke up, reaching out and taking Dawn’s hand as well, “Must be the insight from a near-death experience.”
Dawn frowned at her quip but she squeezed the girl’s hand.
“Not that I’m not glad to be alive,” she added and Dawn looked a little relieved.
She looked from one face to the other and squeezed their hands in hers. This was her family, her reason for going on, for living. She turned to her sister and smiled somewhat tearfully.
“I love you, Dawnie. You know that right?”
Dawn smiled and nodded, glancing up at Spike.
“Definitely the drugs.”
“No, me. I love you and I’m here for you whenever you need me. I can’t be…I’m not Mom…but I’ll look after you as long as you let me.”
“I know, Buffy,” Dawn answered, half-seriously, “You’re a good sister. A good mom too.”
She smiled at her sister and then turned to the vampire, squeezing his hand in hers. He was looking down at her, his blue eyes shining, twinkling with amusement- and with love.
“Spike,” she breathed, “I never meant to hurt you. Never. And I’m sorry I didn’t see what you meant to me soon enough. I wasted so much time.”
“S’fine, love. We’ve got all the time in the world, like you said.”
She nodded, gripping his hand tighter in hers.
“I’m going to make it up to you, I promise. I…We’ll do things right this time.”
“I know, love,” he answered with a soft smile.
“I’m going to live my life the way I want,” she said determinedly, “And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.”
“God, she’s definitely not herself!” Dawn teased and Spike chuckled.
“I’m trying to be serious and you guys are ruining it,” she sulked.
“S’okay, love, we believe you,” Spike soothed, “You just rest now and worry about the rest later.”
“You won’t go anywhere?” she asked, tightening her fingers around his.
“’Course not,” he answered with a smile at her and then at Dawn, “Got to stay with my girls.”
Dawn reached across the bed and took his other hand.
“You better, mister,” she warned with a warm smile.
“Always. Love both of you silly bints.”
Dawn grinned and Buffy smiled softly.
“We love you too,” she whispered.
His eyes met hers and he tilted his head, studying her.
“That so?”
“’Course,” Dawn spoke up, “You’re our pet vampire.”
He growled but both sisters laughed and he was unable to stay angry for long.
“Get you back for that one day, Bit.”
“Just try!” she exclaimed, poking her tongue out at him.
Buffy remained silent, taking in the glorious sight of the two people who meant the most to her. Nothing was going to take this feeling away from her, this knowledge that she was alive and that, despite the horrible things that had happened, her life was actually worth living.
THE END
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her whole body was eerily pain-free as she slowly opened her eyes, squinting at the bright light.
“Buffy, love?”
She focused her gaze on the blue eyes hovering above her and smiled a tiny smile.
“Am I in heaven?” she whispered.
“Now, I wouldn’t be here if you were, would I?” Spike murmured, his cool touch brushing across her forehead.
“Buffy!” another voice called out and she turned her head slowly to meet her sister’s worried gaze.
“Dawnie,” she answered with a smile, “You’re here too. I’m glad.”
She saw Dawn throw a confused look at the vampire and he smiled slightly.
“It’s the drugs. Making her a bit woozy.”
“Woozy is good,” she murmured, her eyes suddenly heavy again.
She felt that cool touch on her forehead again, brushing over her hair.
“You rest some more, love,” Spike murmured and she nodded lazily, her eyes already fluttering closed as she sank into the pillow.
Her eyes fluttered open again and she took in the hospital room, the machines that were monitoring her.
“Buffy?”
Her sister appeared next to the bed, her warm hand resting over Buffy’s.
“Hey, Dawnie.”
“How are you feeling?”
She paused for a moment, feeling the slight niggling pain in her stomach.
“I think I’ll live.”
“You almost didn’t,” Dawn choked, her fingers tightening around Buffy’s, “If Spike hadn’t-“
“Where is he?” Buffy asked, noticing the others in the room for the first time- with the noticeable exception of Spike.
“He, err, he kinda stayed outside,” Dawn answered hesitantly, glancing at the group huddled by the door.
“Go and get him back, Dawnie,” she ordered softly.
She followed her sister to the door with her eyes and smiled weakly when the girl looked back at her hesitantly. She then glanced at her friends and gave them a sleepy smile, closing her eyes for a moment’s rest.
She opened her eyes again when she heard the door open and she smiled slightly as the vampire entered, his eyes fixed on her. Dawn practically dragged him to the bedside and Buffy smiled again, meeting his blue eyes.
“Hear I’ve got you to thank,” she whispered.
“Did what I could,” he murmured, his hand resting on the rail at the bed’s side. She reached out and let her fingers brush against his.
“Thanks.”
“You should have seen, Buffy!” Dawn spoke up, “He almost got burnt up helping you!”
“Silly vampire,” Buffy teased weakly, her fingers winding round his- and she noticed then the healing burns on his hands. He gave a little shrug and she smiled softly, brushing her finger over his. At that moment, the door opened once more and a nurse appeared, frowning at the number of people in the room.
“Family only, I’m afraid. Anyone not family will have to leave. Miss Summers needs to rest,” the nurse ordered and the Scoobies stood awkwardly, glancing over at Buffy before leaving the room. Spike pulled his hand away but she caught him and the nurse looked to them with a questioning look.
“He stays,” Buffy spoke up.
The nurse narrowed her eyes for a moment but then shrugged and left the room again, leaving the two sisters and Spike alone.
“Can I please be present when you make the big announcement?” Dawn spoke up.
“Huh?” Buffy asked, dragging her eyes from the vampire to turn to her sister.
“The big ‘we’re together’ speech.”
“We, err-“ Buffy started hesitantly, blushing.
“Don’t even try to tell me you’re not. I’m not that stupid, you know!”
Buffy smiled softly and shook her head, twisting her fingers around Spike’s again as she glanced at him again.
“No hiding anymore.”
“You just worry about getting better right now, love,” he murmured, brushing his thumb over her hand.
“I’m all good. I’m alive…and, you know what, for the first time in ages I feel it. I think I’ve got you to thank for that too.”
“Didn’t do anything, love. You did it yourself.”
“Nah-uh,” she protested, “You helped.”
“Can you just agree that you both did it?”
Dawn spoke up with a laugh and Buffy smiled softly.
“Thank you anyway. You too, Dawnie.”
“What did I do? I think you’re still woozy from the drugs,” the teenager commented with a grin.
“No. You kept me going, both of you. Being there for me…loving me even when I was a…a mean bitch.”
“Definitely the drugs,” Spike teased, sharing a smile with Dawn.
“I’m being serious,” she spoke up, reaching out and taking Dawn’s hand as well, “Must be the insight from a near-death experience.”
Dawn frowned at her quip but she squeezed the girl’s hand.
“Not that I’m not glad to be alive,” she added and Dawn looked a little relieved.
She looked from one face to the other and squeezed their hands in hers. This was her family, her reason for going on, for living. She turned to her sister and smiled somewhat tearfully.
“I love you, Dawnie. You know that right?”
Dawn smiled and nodded, glancing up at Spike.
“Definitely the drugs.”
“No, me. I love you and I’m here for you whenever you need me. I can’t be…I’m not Mom…but I’ll look after you as long as you let me.”
“I know, Buffy,” Dawn answered, half-seriously, “You’re a good sister. A good mom too.”
She smiled at her sister and then turned to the vampire, squeezing his hand in hers. He was looking down at her, his blue eyes shining, twinkling with amusement- and with love.
“Spike,” she breathed, “I never meant to hurt you. Never. And I’m sorry I didn’t see what you meant to me soon enough. I wasted so much time.”
“S’fine, love. We’ve got all the time in the world, like you said.”
She nodded, gripping his hand tighter in hers.
“I’m going to make it up to you, I promise. I…We’ll do things right this time.”
“I know, love,” he answered with a soft smile.
“I’m going to live my life the way I want,” she said determinedly, “And I’m going to enjoy every minute of it.”
“God, she’s definitely not herself!” Dawn teased and Spike chuckled.
“I’m trying to be serious and you guys are ruining it,” she sulked.
“S’okay, love, we believe you,” Spike soothed, “You just rest now and worry about the rest later.”
“You won’t go anywhere?” she asked, tightening her fingers around his.
“’Course not,” he answered with a smile at her and then at Dawn, “Got to stay with my girls.”
Dawn reached across the bed and took his other hand.
“You better, mister,” she warned with a warm smile.
“Always. Love both of you silly bints.”
Dawn grinned and Buffy smiled softly.
“We love you too,” she whispered.
His eyes met hers and he tilted his head, studying her.
“That so?”
“’Course,” Dawn spoke up, “You’re our pet vampire.”
He growled but both sisters laughed and he was unable to stay angry for long.
“Get you back for that one day, Bit.”
“Just try!” she exclaimed, poking her tongue out at him.
Buffy remained silent, taking in the glorious sight of the two people who meant the most to her. Nothing was going to take this feeling away from her, this knowledge that she was alive and that, despite the horrible things that had happened, her life was actually worth living.
THE END
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