Chapter Five: Deep as You Go I'll Follow

It had been a good evening. William had been initially hesitant to speak to Miss Summers - Buffy. After all, in the past, his attempts to speak to women had proven disastrous. However, he'd managed to come to an arrangement with her and get past their former awkwardness. He felt inordinately proud of himself in his success.

He stretched on Mr. Giles' sofa. It was still early and he had a few more moments in which to doze. The party was still fresh in his mind even though it had been several days ago. It had been the highlight of his experience thus far. Buffy had proven to be a most delightful woman.

Mr. Giles had been keeping him busy with transcription duties. William suspected this was mainly busywork to distract him, but he didn't mind. The books were most interesting in a horrifying way. Back in the past, he would have disavowed any knowledge of such things. Now, however, he was coming to view the world quite differently.

Mr. Giles had spoken of getting William a private cubby to live on his own. William had been told to think about it, and he had been pondering it for much of his time. Surely he wouldn't be out of his depth in this communal environment. He would be down the hall from help in case it was needed. It would also offer him more privacy. It would be not unlike his time in boarding school when he was a child.

The actual move would have to wait, though, as Xander had invited him to spend the day "hanging out". William wasn't sure as to what that entailed. Xander had no particular outing planned, to William's knowledge. But it seemed a genuine offer of friendship from the man, and William was happy to take it.

As he closed his eyes, a flash of golden hair appeared in his mind. He hadn't had a chance to see Buffy since the party, though he was certain she wasn't avoiding him as she had been. Mr. Giles told him that some demonic activity had picked up in the area, and Buffy was busy fighting it.

So strong. Not just for a woman, but for anybody. He'd seen her fight the vampire who'd attacked him that one night. She had a power that could only have been bestowed upon her by God. A heavenly creature sent to protect the unknowing innocents from the monsters that lurk in the night. He was blessed to be in her presence.

He'd given a lot of thought to the vampire called Spike, whom she mourned. He'd been told that Spike had saved the world in his death. William could scarcely believe that. That is, until he'd discovered more about Buffy. He was now convinced that Buffy's love and attention must have helped cleanse the demon from the vampire. Only through the love of an extraordinary woman such as she could a demon be redeemed.

Mr. Giles emerged from his bedchamber, interrupting William's thoughts.

Another day had begun.

In the far past, his days had been structured quite differently. He would awaken at an early hour to wash and dress himself. Emma, the cook, would have breakfast served by that time, and William would join his mother for the morning meal. After which, he would promptly go to the bank for work.

He found now his days much less scheduled, which he feared gave him a tendency towards laziness. His rhythms were no longer kept by the sun, but by the artificially bright electric lights that adorned the dark castle. William was staying up later than he'd ever let himself previously, and he found himself giving in to the urge to sleep in far longer than he would have ever allowed himself in the past.

He had prided himself in following the rules of decorum laid out by his society. Many of his peers believed that they did, as well, but their behavior proved otherwise. They were vulgarians. They cavorted with their amusements and their fancies without regard for what was proper. William would never allow himself to fall to their level. He was a better man than that.

Though, lately, he wasn't certain as to exactly why he still felt the need to adhere to those strict standards. To be a gentleman was a worthy goal in his time. In this time, though, it seemed that being a gentleman was directly contrary to leading a fulfilling life.

It puzzled him the more thought he gave to it, and William often found himself going around in circles to reach an answer. Perhaps there were none.

Breakfast in this time was a modest affair. Mr. Giles made toast for the two of them as they quietly discussed the day's plans. Mr. Giles seemed pleased to hear that William would be spending the day with Xander.

After they had finished their meal, Mr. Giles departed for his work, and William left to visit Xander's cubby.

****

Xander had put a lot of thought into this get-together. Now that he was fully recovered from jet-lag, he had the freedom to spend some time with William, his new guy-buddy. When Giles had heard about his plan, he'd said that it would be good for William to be exposed to Xander. Whatever that meant.

Xander had spent a long time at the video rental shop trying to find the perfect movie to show William in order to fully welcome him into the 21st century. Well, the 20th century, since they weren't very far into the 21st century. Anyway, after much careful deliberation, Xander had decided on a classic trilogy that William would be sure to love.

Well, that had been the plan.

"It's what?" William asked, tentatively biting a piece of popcorn in half.

"In space. It's set in space. Star Wars. It's an epic space film." Xander said, watching as Darth Vader confronted Princess Leia.

William's eyes were wide. "Space? The stars? When did this happen?"

Xander sighed. "It's not about anything that happened. It's science-fiction. You know, fantasy."

"Fantasy? Like Alice's Adventures in Wonderland?"

"Just without the rabbit and mirrors and stuff."

William frowned, and Xander could tell he wasn't quite getting it. R2-D2 and C-3P0 were escaping to Tatooine.

Through most of the movie, William sat silent with a look of intense concentration on his face. Xander glanced at him from time to time. He wasn't sure if the guy were actually following what was going on or not.

Then came the big space battle at the end. Wedge's fighter was damaged, and he had to leave Luke on his own to destroy the Death Star. Xander was refraining from quoting the lines as they were said. Han came to Luke's rescue, and Luke managed to hit the impossibly small target just in time to save the day. As the space station exploded in a ball of pyrotechnic glory, William smiled widely and looked over at Xander.

"It exploded," he said with a grin.

Xander nodded. "Oh yes. Yes, it did."

Figures. No man could resist the allure of an exploding space station. Victorian or not, William was very much a guy.

When the credits began to roll, William sat back. "That's it? But what happens next?" He looked at Xander.

Xander grinned, holding up The Empire Strikes Back. "Lucky for you, this is a trilogy. Gimme a mo and we'll be seeing some more."

And so their day went. Occasionally, William would ask a question about what was going on, or he would comment about the violence of a scene. But he seemed to thoroughly enjoy it all. Even the Ewoks. Man, nobody liked those guys.

"They're small bears," William smiled.

"Yeah," Xander shoved a handful of popcorn in his mouth. "Like teddy bears."

William frowned. "'Teddy' bears? I've never heard of that species."

Xander shrugged him off as the speeder chase scene had just begun.

It was a well-deserved break. After the last apocalypse, everybody had been all busy getting the Council set up. Nobody wanted to stop and have any fun, which is something Xander was desperately needing. Buffy might be one to throw herself into work when troubled, but not Xander. Xander liked to have time to deal with it. He hadn't had much chance to even think about Anya since she'd...gone.

No, this. Just hanging with a guy was nice. The girls were cool, of course. But there was so much history there. He knew that they were all wondering how he was doing, and they wanted to do that comforting thing that girls do when someone's down. Xander just wasn't in the mood for that.

The final credits rolled. They'd spent the entire day watching the Star Wars trilogy. William jumped up, an excited grin on his face.

"That was - how did they do all that? With the shooting and the ships? And that woman, Leia. She was...wow!" William babbled.

Xander smiled while putting the DVD back in its case. William was babbling about the mythic character arc of Luke or something along those lines.

"Is there a book for it?" William asked, still giddy. "Giddy" wasn't a word Xander used often, but it fit in this instance. "It would make a wonderful tale written down."

"Yeah," Xander said. "There are books. Not worth your time, though. You'd have to talk to Dawn about what's good to read now. I just know movies."

"That was incredible!"

Xander smiled, putting the popcorn up. "Incredible enough to go to a pub and get drunk now?"

William barely hesitated.

****

"So, these demons. What do they want?" William asked. He and Xander had been at the bar for a while now, and William had finally decided to start drinking. He had refrained for a while, but, after assurances from Xander that it was completely okay in this time, he relented and ordered whatever Xander was having. He had to admit, it tasted better than the beer from his own time.

He was trying to pace himself, though, as he had had little tolerance for drink. He did not wish to become inebriated in a public place. Especially as the pub was much more crowded than it had been during his daytime visit with Xander several days ago.

Xander shook his head. "Who knows? World domination. Babies. Kittens. They're demons. They want demony things. Anyway, once we heard about them, Buffy organized the girls and took them out to fight. Last I heard, they managed to wipe them out, and they should be heading back." He shrugged. "But they don't tell me that much."

William gulped some more of his beer, disappointed to see the bottom of the glass. Almost immediately, the bartender placed another one in front of him. What service!

"Those girls," he said. "Are incredible."

Xander chuckled. "Tell me about it."

"And Buffy must be the strongest of them all," William said after another chug, setting down the mug a bit too heavily and sloshing some beer over the edge. William licked it off his fingers. No point letting it go to waste.

"She's always been my hero," Xander agreed. "She's saved the world more times than I've sneezed. And she's always always making the tough calls." He smiled. "Plus, she's really hot."

William almost choked on the beer he was drinking at that point, but he managed to retain his dignity. He giggled at Xander's last statement. He'd learnt from the television that "hot" meant "attractive" in today's world. The phrase amused him. "You fancy her?" He asked.

Xander shook his head, jaw set like a five-year-old. "No, no, nope. Once did. Long, long time ago. She's like a sister. A hot sister. But a sister, y'know?" The last phrase was slurred.

William smiled at his friend. His friend was quite, quite drunk. Xander should have been more careful with his drinking. Like him.

Besides, this talk of Buffy outside her presence was quite scandalous. A gentleman would refuse to discuss it further.

"She's not my sister, and I also think she's hot," William laughed. Alright, that's not quite what he'd meant to say.

Xander lowered his head to the bar briefly in his drunken laughter. "Like vampire like human."

William had no clue what he meant by that, but Xander didn't seem to want to expand on it, so he just finished his mug. There must be a hole at the bottom of his glass. He surely wasn't drinking that quickly.

"Y'know what'd be funny?" Xander lifted his head, pointing at William. "If you and Buffy, like, hooked up. That'd be so weird." He laughed.

William joined him, leaning back to get some more air. Unfortunately, he ended up falling off the stool and found himself sprawled on the floor of the bar. People around him clapped and cheered for him. All he could do was laugh some more.

Looking up, he saw Xander doubled over, still on his stool. "You fell!" Xander said.

William nodded. "On the bum," he said between his laughter. "And it sorta hurt."

Well, now that he was on the floor, he wasn't sure if he could get back up. He attempted to disentangle his legs from the bar stool but only succeeded in sending Xander into another fit of laughter. His own mirth had died out in his frustration. The room was not supposed to be wavy like this.

Giving up on the stool, William pressed both hands on the cool, sticky floor and let his head hang. He was queasy from the alcohol. He felt that if he sat still long enough, the room might stop churning back and forth and he could stand up again.

He wasn't sure how long he'd been in that position when he felt Xander pull him up, bracing him with an arm about the waist.

"Come on, Will. Let's get you and me back to the castle. The bartender's calling a cab."

With Xander's guidance, William managed to make it out of the pub, though his stomach protested with each footstep. Once the night air hit his face, he pushed himself away from Xander and vomited into a bush outside the pub. He leaned against the building after he was done retching.

"What's his problem? Can't take his beer?" A deep voice asked. Behind him, William could hear Xander talking to a couple curious onlookers.

William was sweating, and his throat felt raw from the fierce vomiting. However, his stomach felt better. He turned, still using the wall as support. Xander was still talking to two large guys. Younger men, both of them. They'd just been leaving the pub. One smiled at him.

"Looks like the pansy's done throwing up," the taller of the two said.

William inhaled sharply, remembering the sting of insults endured long ago. He'd managed to avoid them here, for the most part. Who was this ruffian to hurl names at him?

Xander held his hands up. "Thanks for the concern, guys. We don't want any trouble." He pointed behind him towards the street. "We're just gonna go wait for our cab." William was surprised to see Xander's entire demeanor had changed. Not a trace of his former inebriation was showing.

"Not so fast," the shorter stranger grabbed Xander's arm. "We wanna buy the tosser a drink. Might be good for a laugh."

His friend chuckled, nodding in agreement.

William pushed himself away from the wall. He'd heard of these types of people who frequented bars only to engage in brawls when drunk. He'd never met them before though. He walked up to stand beside Xander, feeling steadier on his feet.

"Actually," he said, trying to remember his gentlemanly manners in his current state was difficult. "I have to decline. My friend and I would like to retire for the night."

William tugged on Xander's sleeve to turn and walk away.

"Couple a poofters?" One of the men asked the other.

"Dunno," that was the taller one. "Maybe he just needs to get home to his mummy so she can sing him a bedtime song."

They laughed.

William turned back.

Everything happened in a drunken blur. Like puzzle pieces tossed in the air, none making sense on their own as they each only held fragments of the full picture. There was yelling. A lot of yelling. Hard bodies hitting concrete, and the squelching noise of fist meeting bloodied flesh. William wasn't sure exactly how he got there, but there he was. Straddling the tall guy and throwing punches at him, one after another. Xander frantically trying to pull him off.

The short guy called after them as Xander dragged William to the cab while William still tried to lunge at his fallen opponent.

On the silent cab ride back to the castle, William slowly remembered the rest, though it came back to him as if he were watching a film like Star Wars. Him shoving the tall guy. Being shoved back. A couple punches being exchanged between the two of them while the shorter guy tackled Xander.

A cruel jibe from the tall guy about William hitting like a woman was what had done it. William had proven him wrong. Very wrong.

He looked down at his blood-stained knuckles, ignoring the bruising wounds that he carried. Something wasn't right.

***

"Andrew's going to Cleveland now. They're asking for you to go visit. Apparently some Hellmouthy stuff is going on. I told them you had just gotten back from another demon thing," Dawn was yapping away while Buffy reclined on the couch.

Still, better to be updated on the happenings of what she'd missed by Dawn than by Giles. It was so awkward talking to Giles about anything these days. Especially now that William was here.

And that was so a thought she shouldn't have thought. She hadn't seen him since the party. She'd had to leave shortly afterward. She hadn't even thought about when she might see him again. Or if she wanted to see him again. They had ended up on friendly terms, really. He was kinda nice once you got past the spazzy nerves part of him.

"Hey!" Dawn's sharp voice cut through Buffy's thoughts.

"What?" Buffy looked over at her sister who had just sat down across from her.

"You were off in la-la land or something," Dawn raised an accusing eyebrow.

Buffy shrugged, sipping her coffee. "I was listening. Cleveland. Prophecy. Boys being snuck in. I got it."

Dawn's reply was interrupted by a knock at the door. She frowned. It was pretty late.

Buffy sat quietly while her sister answered the door. She heard Dawn's startled yelp as well as Xander asking her to let them in. Buffy looked up to see a scraped-up Xander supporting a wasted and bloody William.

"What the hell happened?" Dawn asked, already rushing off for a first aid kit and a wet cloth.

Xander unceremoniously dumped William in one of Dawn's dining room chairs before turning to look at Buffy. "Buff!"

She put her coffee down while standing up, unsure of what to do. "Yeah, I just got back."

Dawn bustled back in, supplies in hand. "Sit," she ordered to Xander who took a seat beside a silent William. "Now what happened? Buffy, come help."

Buffy followed her sister's orders, grabbing a washcloth and getting it damp under the sink. Dawn was cleaning Xander's wounds so Buffy turned to William.

"Well," Xander said as Dawn dabbed at a bright red scrape on his forehead. "William the Bloody here decided to get us into a bar fight. With two guys who could probably play linebackers for the 49ers."

Buffy frowned, noticing the blood liberally coating William's knuckles. She concentrated on his wounds first. Somebody had gotten in a good punch to the nose, and he had a split lip. He took her care in silence, not even really focusing on her.

"Anyway - ow!" Xander batted at Dawn's hand when she pressed too hard against a cut. She rolled her eyes and persisted. "I didn't want to go to my cubby cause I'm in the same hallway as Giles. If Giles saw William looking like that...well...I think he might take out my other eye in exchange."

"Okay, now tell us what really happened," Dawn said, sitting back and reaching for the disinfectant. "I doubt William started the fight."

"He did! We were turning to leave the guys and they threw some insult out. Cause, you know, that's what tough guys do. And William had to go turn around and start throwing punches. I had to pull him off the bigger guy he was whaling on him so bad," Xander shook his head. "Victorian gentleman, my ass."

William stood abruptly, the chair he'd been sitting on scraping stone roughly. Buffy lost balance and toppled back on her butt, though she hardly noticed as William paced away angrily.

"What was I supposed to do, then?" William snapped at Xander. "Let them say such...absolutely disgusting things?"

Xander shrugged. "Well, yeah. They're bigger than us. Look, I'm sorry, man. Your first night getting drunk. Should've cut you off sooner."

William shook his head, looking even more upset as he continued to pace in a strangely Spike-like manner.

"This isn't right," He murmured. "What I did...fighting..."

"Well, if it's any consolation, you won," Xander spread his hands out. "Not sure how when you were half the guy's size but you did."

"Yeah," Dawn turned to look at William, desperately trying to calm the situation. "And it's kinda funny if you think about it."

William stopped. "Funny? You find this funny?"

Dawn's smile faded, and she looked from Xander to Buffy for support. "Uh...no?"

The pacing started again. "It's not their behavior that's wrong. It's mine. It's completely inexcusable for me to act like that...like some kind of street ruffian. I'm a gentleman."

"Look," Xander sat forward, trying to be consoling. "It's not that big a deal in this time. People get into fights. It happens. We'll get ourselves patched up and laugh about it in a couple week's time."

"I don't want to laugh about it! What am I if not a product of my own time? What type of man am I if I just strip away all semblance of decorum? The type of man that fights in pubs? Is that what I am? Then, please, let me be a gentleman!"

William's voice had risen to a frantic pitch.

Buffy stood up to bring attention to herself. William's pacing stopped and both Dawn and Xander turned to look at her. "Guys, could you leave the room for a moment?"

Dawn pressed her lips together in disapproval, but she helped Xander stand up.

"We'll go into Dawn's room and listen through the door," Xander joked as he and Dawn left.

Once the door closed, Buffy turned back to William. His face was red and blotchy from crying, and he was staring stubbornly at the floor, jaw working in frustration. She'd almost never seen Spike cry. Only when he'd been recently souled and tormented by The First. It was uncomfortable to watch him try to keep from sniffling.

She frowned. She had him alone, but she wasn't sure what to say to him. She just knew that Dawn and Xander were making him more upset.

"What...what's this all about, William?" There, that was a nice, neutral question, right?

He was quieter when he spoke this time. "All my life, in my time, I've strived to be a good man as dictated by society. Manners and decorum and etiquette." He spit the last sentence out with some disgust. "Every second of my life, those things have been ingrained in me. And, now I'm here, and I'm told that they don't matter at all."

William shook his head, and the pacing began again. Fortunately, the crying had stopped now that he was talking things out.

He continued. "Fine, those things don't matter. I can live without them, right? Everybody else here does somehow. But apparently, without those things, I'm just some vulgarian who imbibes too much alcohol and starts fights in pubs." His voice was getting shaky again. "I don't know how I'm supposed to act in this time without those rules, Buffy. I don't even know who I am without them. What sort of man am I outside of my society?"

"A good man," Buffy blurted out to answer his rhetorical question.

It stopped him, though. He froze on the spot, staring at her in a way she found familiar, yet unsettling at the same time. He tilted his head to the side, and Buffy couldn't look at him anymore. She looked down at her feet in an effort to find a way to express what she wanted to say.

"The fact that you're even questioning all this," she said. "Shows that you are a good person, William. So you got drunk and got into a fight," she shrugged. "It doesn't change anything about who you really are. All the Victorian etiquette stuff doesn't matter, either. It's just stuffy British stuff. It's not you. You're you." Okay, she was rambling into incoherency. She risked a glance up to see him staring at her as if she were reciting some Shakespeare or something.

She cleared her throat. "I think you need to give yourself more of a chance before you start beating yourself up." A thought popped into her head when she said that, and she smiled. "In fact, given that you're apparently good in a fight, maybe we could work on training you to help out with the demon-fighting. Be better than transcription-duty, right?"

He blinked at the segue and nodded tentatively. "Training..."

"Yeah, like, along with the baby Slayers. I mean, you don't have super-strength or anything, but neither does Xander and he's come in handy in battle many times. And I'd place my money on you over Xander in a fight."

He nodded, gaze wandering off. Now that the heightened emotion was dying down, Buffy could see that the night of drinking was crashing down on him and that it'd be best to finish getting both him and Xander cleaned up so they could get some rest.

She sat William back in the chair before calling back in Xander and Dawn.

While cleaning the blood from William's hands, she desperately tried not to think about the fact that William had started a fight. Started a fight and won against the odds. She knew it was such a Spike thing to do. She wanted to cheer him on. She wanted to tell herself that she was right. That there was something of Spike in William. But she couldn't do that to herself. If she did, she'd be holding out hope for something that was gone.

So she ignored it.

TBC...