Even as his friendship – if you could call it that – with Spike progressed, things with the Scoobies were up and down. Sometimes he felt like a true part of the group, but at other times he still felt as if he were on the outside, looking in on their lives. They quite happily involved him in research and even invited him to hang out sometimes, but he still felt the tension of being not quite part of something.

Lately, it seemed worse than ever because whenever he went to the shop, they would stop talking and start a new conversation – as if he wouldn’t notice. The only time it seemed not to happen was when Giles was around, and he wondered if there was something he was missing. He knew better than to push though – that was never the way to get something out of someone – so he let it just wash over him, waiting for the day when they might let him in.



As he entered the shop one afternoon after work, he once again found that the conversation swiftly veered onto a new topic and he let out a tiny sigh, moving into the shop and greeting the group.

“Hey Riley!” Xander called, even as Willow gathered up a book and moved towards the counter, giving him a little wave. He watched her stow the book away out of the corner of his eye as he moved forward and dropped into a chair.

“So, how’s patrolling?” Xander asked, turning to him with a wide grin.

“Not much around lately,” he answered, watching Willow as she shared a look with Tara, then Anya, and then moved back to her seat.

“How’s the Buffybot holding up?”

He rolled his eyes and smiled slightly.

“I don’t know how you put up with her so long.”

The group laughed and he saw them share another quick look between themselves. A silence fell over the group and he watched subtly as Xander and Willow appeared to have a silent conversation. Finally, Willow turned to him and smiled.

“Hey, why don’t you come for dinner tonight?”

“Sure,” he answered, becoming even more suspicious at this sudden invite.

“We’re just going to hang out,” Xander explained, “Have some chilling time, you know.”

“I thought we were going to-“

“Anya,” Xander cut in, interrupting his girlfriend with a smile, “I just remembered. Didn’t you want some help moving things in the stock room?”

Anya frowned but as Xander rose to his feet, she rolled her eyes and turned in the direction of the basement door.



He turned back to the two witches, who turned to him guiltily and smiled.

“So, is it just the five of us tonight?” he asked conversationally.

“Yep,” Willow answered brightly.

“What about Dawn?”

“Oh, she’s going to Spike’s,” Tara explained, “It was her idea actually.”

“You know what those two are like,” Willow added.

“So Spike won’t be there either?” he confirmed.

The two witches shared a look and then turned to him with bright smiles.

“You know, I think he’d rather hang out with Dawn,” Willow joked, “He’s a bit more sociable now, but he still argues with Xander whenever they’re in the same room.”

He laughed along with them, but he could tell they were hiding something and he wondered if he was finally going to be let in on their secret tonight.

“And Giles?”

“He’s making his arrangements,” Willow said somewhat sadly, “He’s all set to go back to England. I don’t think anything’s going to change his mind.”

The Watcher’s announcement had been a surprise to all of them, but the more he thought about it, the more it made sense to Riley.

“Maybe he just feels there isn’t anything to stay for anymore,” Riley suggested quietly.

“Maybe,” Willow answered quietly, and then moments later, she was changing the subject brightly. There was definitely something going on.



Later that night, he made his way to Xander and Anya’s flat, curiosity clawing at him. He didn’t know if he could even sit through dinner and make nice, he was so desperate to know what they had been hiding. He did not let it show though and he made conversation, ate his food – and waited.

They finished eating and everyone relaxed a little, several looks being passed between the group. Willow sat up a bit straighter and he regarded her silently, still playing the waiting game.

“Actually, Riley, we asked you to come tonight because we wanted to talk to you about something.”

“Yeah?” he asked with fake surprise.

“Yeah,” she said, looking around the group before returning her attention to him, “The thing is… well, we’ve been discussing this for a while now…”

She trailed off and looked down at the table for a few long seconds before raising her gaze to his once more.

“We’ve been talking about Buffy. And where she is.”

“Where she is?” he repeated numbly, surprised by this sudden twist.

“She jumped into a hell portal,” Xander spoke up, his voice wrought with emotion, “And now she’s…”

“She could be suffering,” Willow continued, eyes meeting his, “So, the thing is… well…”

“What is it?” he asked, dread settling his stomach as he tensed in anticipation of her answer.

Willow threw a worried look at Tara by her side and then with a tiny nod of determination, turned back to him.

“We want to bring her back.”



He must have heard wrong because she couldn’t have just said what he thought he had heard. His mind was ringing with the words and he frowned. This couldn’t be real.

“I know it’s huge,” Willow added, “But we have to save her.”

He couldn’t speak, couldn’t even begin to comprehend what was happening. They said they wanted to bring her back as if she were on holiday in another state. But she was – well, he had no idea where Buffy’s soul was. Hell just didn’t seem right though. After a while, he began to notice the eyes watching him and he looked up, bewildered.

“I don’t… I just can’t get my head around it.”

“We know,” Willow whispered, “But I – we can do this.”

“You’ve already discussed it?”

“There’s only one more thing I need for the spell and Anya’s getting it,” the witch explained.

“And you’re only just telling me now…” he murmured, dumbfounded that they were so far along in their planning.

“We thought you had a right to know,” Xander explained.

He looked at the other man for a moment and then turned his attention on the group as a whole.

“What does Giles think?”

The group looked awkward and his eyes went wide with surprise.

“You haven’t told Giles?”

There was no answer but the silence was enough.

“And Dawn?” he continued, growing almost angry, “Spike?”



After a pause, Willow finally answered.

“We can’t tell them. You can’t tell them.”

“They have a right to know too.”

“I know,” she replied softly, “But we… they might get too… invested in it.”

“You mean they’ll get their hopes up and then you won’t know what to say when it goes wrong.”

“It won’t go wrong,” Willow answered forcefully, “I can do this.”

“If you’re so sure, why won’t you tell Giles?” he pushed and the witch paused, “That’s what I thought.”

“It’s just not a good idea,” Willow commented, looking around at the group for backup.

“The fewer people know, the better,” Tara murmured hesitantly, seeming uncertain even as she spoke.

“Well, I don’t know why you chose to tell me, but I wish you hadn’t,” Riley exclaimed, rising to his feet, ready to leave, “I didn’t want that privilege.”

He realised as he pushed his chair back in that his hands were shaking and he clenched them into fists.

“You won’t tell any of the others, will you?” Willow asked worriedly.

“No,” he answered woodenly, feeling drained of emotion, energy.

With a mumbled goodbye, he turned and left the apartment, his mind reeling.